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content | web articles Support for Yerevan is provided by: Recap of Armenian Heritage Night

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images See More text by MANOUK AKOPYAN SNUBBED: It was a night of celebration and shame for the as they held an “Armenian Heritage Night” without a single mention of it. The following is a play-by-play analysis seen from the lens of press row. It covers all the sights and sounds and aims to keep you in the know for the Armenian Heritage Night hockey game between the Los Angeles Kings and , held January 21, 2010. 5:35 – Turned off my navigation system, followed the trail of sunflower seeds from Chick Hearn Court all the way into the arena. On my walk there, I accumulated enough gentlemen’s club passes to last me until 2029. 6:09 – Eating stuff I can’t pronounce in the media room as I just had some Szechuan beef for dinner. I wonder how Jim Fox’s wife feels waking up next to him every morning with his hair undone. 6:45 – Watching the Tuesday night replay of the thrashing the Kings 5-1 and the Lakers/Cavaliers game. Dinner with Bob Miller doesn’t feel too good anymore. newsletter signup 6:53 – Spotted the first Armenian flag of the night. It had to have measured in at least a good 3×3 E-MAIL feet, respectively. 7:17 – Introduced as Vazgen over the PA system, a presumable Armenian is riding in the pre-game zamboni. Sometimes I wish I could make this kind of stuff up. 7:29 – Pau Gasol just got blocked by the base of the backboard twice and followed it up with two missed free throws. Lakers lose. Gasol is softer than this leather-bound chair I’m sitting on right now. 7:37 – The notorious Tim Kepler (who?) sang the national anthem. Nune Yesayan anyone? 7:40 – Just 49 seconds into the game, the Kings make a line change. I thought girls don’t like minutemen? 7:53 – The Buffalo Sabres are showing why they are the second-best team in the eastern conference. The Kings just launched their first shot on- 8:40 into the game. The Sabres are dominating all facets of the game. Even their fans are out-roaring the Angelinos. 7:59 – Armenians still arriving fashionably late. They must be under the impression they came to a wedding. 8:00 – Timeouts have never felt so good. Buxom blondes are shaving dead ice with a shovel in super poll tight tops! Which Kings marketing genius came up with that idea because…I just missed the goal. Kings right winger Brad Richardson wristed one in at the 7:32 marker seconds after the stoppage. In Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

converted by Web2PDFConvert.com case you are wondering, the girls safely made their way through the tunnel. 8:03 – Slowly losing vision. Guy in section 206 wearing Ed Hardy decided to use a coat made in his dad’s jewelry shop. 8:13 – Kick save and a beauty from the Kings’ aptly named , Jonathan Quick. End of the first period, 1-0 Kings. To this point, there have been no signs of any recognition from the Kings for Armenian Heritage Night. Could this honorary night all be a hoax? 8:15 – While you were paying $12 for a two-bite hot dog, there was a youth hockey game during the break. I don’t know which is worse right now, being subjected to the kids or the TV in front of me showing the Clippers game. 8:31 – Sabres coach Lindy Ruff should get a raise. Just 22 seconds into the second period, Clarke MacArthur scores the equalizer. Game tied at one. 8:40 – During the timeout, the camera crew pans the arena. The Kings have no celebrity power at their games whatsoever. At least the step-child of Staples Center – the Los Angeles Clippers – has that Malcolm in the Middle kid. It could be worse though, the Clippers could still have had Michael Olowokandi in the middle. 8:46 – Is alcohol cheaper in the 300 level? The fans in the nosebleeds are sure acting like it is. 8:52 – Question of the day: Did that 53 year-old really have to slip tongue during kiss cam? On the other hand, a couple just got hitched after a man proposed on the jumbotron. Armenians take notice and stray away from our cookie cutter wedding formula. Just hope the girls doesn’t say “shut the puck up” instead of “I do.” 8:55 – A Kings power play goal by Oscar Moller was reversed after instant replay showed he illegally knocked the puck in with his right hand. Needless to say, it didn’t go over well with the fans. 8:58 – Three males looking just a shade over the drinking minimum – if that – each “chugged” all 4 ounces of their pale looking beer. This ultimately negates the “please drink responsibly message” by Anze Kopitar before the game. 9:06 – It’s official, I’ve gone blind. Someone needs to tell Mr. 206 that the sheet of ice on his neck belongs in the rink and not on his chest. Lasik, here I come. 9:08 – Slapshot goal lasered in by Sean O’Donnell on the Kings power play. Avoid him at target practice. Avoid McDonalds for the next week. Everyone just got a coupon voucher for a free McFlurry. 9:10 – Los Angeles Fire Department was dispatched to the smoking patio during the second intermission after sights of a mushroom cloud were reported by Staples Center officials. Firefighter Joe said, “It was just Armenians smoking. They are like an outdoor swap meet, they smoke whether it rains or shines.” 9:16 – Still no signs of any recognition for Armenian Heritage Night…It might as well have been called “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Night.” My eyes are glued to the jumbotron and my ears are peeled for the PA system… 9:22 – Overheard in the restroom: “Samo, et Wayne Gretzy ura ch’ka.” Editor’s note: last played for the Kings in 1996. 9:30 – After just 67 seconds of play into the third period, Sabres defenseman Craig Rivet gives Buffalo a 3-2 lead and puts a stop to a personal 55-game scoring drought! Coach Ruffy has a career in motivational speaking after he’s eventually fired. 9:34 – The board behind Sabres goalie just cracked and is now being replaced. Nothing like being a handyman and watched by 16,884 people doing your job. You might as well have a phone number glued on your back and put Jack Stephan out of business. 9:45 – Just as the Staples Center crowd was getting ready to get the life sucked out of them with the possibility of another goal reversal, Ryan Smyth proved everything was G-double O-D as he tied the game at three with a one timer. 9:56 – JMFJ gets the tough hit of the game. How can he not? He’s JMFJ! 10:05 – End of regulation and the game is still tied at 3-3. Now it’s Sudden Death. If it sounds like a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie all of a sudden, it’s because it is. During the one-minute intermission, the Staples handyman fixes another glass board, and then as he exits the rink, he inexplicably drops his ladder. There go the job leads. 10:12 – Kings carry their momentum from the end of an electric third period and into the overtime period, but the game heads to a shootout. 10:17 – Nothing beats an overtime hockey game where the game isn’t over until a team scores a goal. But we’ll have to do without that because it’s still the regular season, so shootout we go. If Kings win, it’ll be their sixth straight shootout victory – all on home ice. 10:20 – Kings win the shootout session 2-1 after Dustin Brown scores the winner and Quick makes a highlight-reel save to end the game. The Kings finish their season-long seven-game home stand at 3- 4 and are still fighting for their first playoff birth since the 2001-2002 season. Playoffs? Playoffs!

converted by Web2PDFConvert.com The game finished with a “W” for the Kings and an “L” for Armenians. Not one single mention of Armenian Heritage Night was made throughout the night.

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