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INTENTIONAL THINKING How We Create What We Want in Our Lives

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INTENTIONAL THINKING How We Create What We Want in Our Lives INTENTIONAL THINKING How we create what we want in our lives HOSTED BY: Lorna Weston-Smyth Executive Coach and Trainer Forgiveness The gift we give to ourselves 1 Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment. For some people, the beginning stage or a beginning stage of forgiveness is anger. 2 Only through letting it go can we truly forgive. 3 Brené Brown “Numbing or taking the edge off doesn’t have the same consequences as addiction, but they are nonetheless severe and life-altering for one reason: We cannot selectively numb emotion. If we numb the dark, we numb the light. If we take the edge off pain and discomfort, we are, by default, taking the edge off joy, love, belonging, and the other emotions that give meaning to our lives.” 4 Misdirection Strategies Chandeliering Bouncing Numbing Stockpiling Saccharine Cloak Fear of High-Centering 5 Mary Morrissey “Tender dreams cannot thrive in toxic soil.” 6 Three Pillars of Forgiveness Learn to separate the being from the behavior Recognize that you don’t know the whole story Ask for help in removing the poison of resentment 7 James Allen “Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power.” 8 Steps to Forgiveness Acknowledge your own inner pain. Express those emotions in non-hurtful ways without yelling or attacking. Protect yourself from further victimization. Try to understand the point of view and motivations of the person to be forgiven; replace anger with compassion. 9 Steps to Forgiveness Forgive yourself for your role in the relationship. Decide whether to remain in the relationship. Perform the overt act of forgiveness verbally or in writing. If the person is dead or unreachable, you can still write down your feelings in letter form. In order to forgive, we need to try and stop identifying ourselves with the suffering that was caused. 10 James Allen “Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.” 11 Choosing to forgive is about choosing ourselves, our peace of mind, our happiness over everything else. It is about relieving ourselves of that burden, choosing to be free of the past, and choosing not to perceive ourselves as victims. 12 Forgiveness Is Not It is not forgetting It is not pretending something didn’t happen It is not excusing someone who did something wrong It is not saying it is “OK” to act the way the person acted toward us It is not “making up” or “kissing and making nice” 13 Stages of Forgiveness Anger, pain and blame Willingness to Forgive Make decision to forgive Choose to no longer take offense 14 Three Elements of Self-Compassion Self-kindness Humanity Mindfulness 15 Mary Morrissey “Forgiving yourself shifts your energy from pain to power.” 16 INTENTIONAL THINKING How we create what we want in our lives HOSTED BY: Lorna Weston-Smyth Executive Coach and Trainer Forgiveness The gift we give to ourselves 17 .
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