I could lie, and give you a list of positive affirmations to repeat daily and tell you that they will change your life forever, with promises of greater success and happiness. And in some cases this might be true. Focusing on happy thoughts and actions make us feel better and can motivate us to take bolder actions and therefore achieve greater successes.
But I prefer honesty. And I do not believe that one size fits all.
Not one single person is the same. We all have our own experiences, thoughts and perceptions of reality and yes, it’s true, some of us have similar personalities, preferred ways of learning and viewing the world, but we all do things in our own unique manner, because of who we are, what we’ve experienced in life and how we choose to react. We all have our own innate strategies to cope, to survive and to live life.
That’s how I see our journey together. Each person I meet is new and fascinating and I cannot use the same strategies for everyone.
However, there are some universal steps (I refer to them as keys), that do help us grow and I would like to share a few of those with you today:
SEVEN KEYS TO BREAK FREE
Key #1 Love Yourself
Truly love yourself. Walk up to a mirror right now. Look into those gorgeous eyes of yours, and say, I LOVE YOU. Say it in your head or out loud, (if you’re alone): “Damn I am good looking. I am smart, successful, talented and strong and no-one can mess with me. I am the bomb!”
This sounds really easy to do, but it’s not. It took me two years, before I could look at myself in the mirror and say “I love you” out loud. That was just my face. Loving the rest of me, took even longer.
Pay attention to where in your body you feel the words. Don’t pretend. It has to be an honest conversation with you.
Add or delete what you like, but make sure you follow the first three steps:
Find a mirror Look yourself in the eye Tell yourself with conviction “I LOVE YOU!”
Key #2 Make your own bed
Make sure you always make your bed in the morning. No matter how tired you are or how late you are for work. Make that bed!
It’s surprising how it changes one’s mindset. I never used to do it religiously, but it’s one of the quickest ways to get into a positive, go-getter mindset. Even if you are lucky enough to have a housekeeper who does it for you, straighten that bed! Put the pillows back where they belong, because that shows readiness; a highflier attitude of someone who likes their house in order, before they go out to conquer their world.
You’d never do business out of an untidy office. Why do so at home? Especially as sleep is what we need to recharge and our bedrooms are where we need to feel safe and a place where we can create while we rest.
Key #3 Be proud of the little things you do
Big wins are important, especially in the corporate world. But remember that even if all you can accomplish today is to brush your teeth and then go straight back to bed, that’s an accomplishment. You’ve tried and in your world, on this day, that’s a huge feat.
Key #4 Feel your thoughts
It’s quite impossible to try and think positive thoughts every second of every day. However, what we can control is how we feel when certain thoughts come into our mind. Training yourself on which thoughts you hang onto and which ones you let go of as if it’s a grenade, will help you create a more positive day.
So if a thought upsets you, don’t hold onto it. It’s not worth the headache or stomach ache. Let go of destructive thought. If you can’t change the circumstances, change how you feel. Focus on what you are doing in that moment. Take a deep breath in and out and think of something that excites you or lifts your mood, like your favourite meal, a holiday or someone who makes you laugh. Don’t hold onto damaging thoughts. They do not serve you.
I work a lot on changing state (mood) and focus, as it’s truly helped me see things very differently. But it takes time. Key #5 Exercise and Diet
These days many of us are busy and tired. But even 2 minutes of exercise, climbing stairs, or walking a little faster from the parking lot to your car, can make a difference. Of course longer stints of exercise, boosts a healthier metabolism, releases dopamine, which makes you feel happier, and oxygen in the brain that makes you think and learn better, but we all start somewhere. I am a firm believer that exercise needs to include some element of fun. Else why do it?
Try getting up from your desk every 20 minutes. Stretch your legs. Rock up onto your toes and down onto your heels a few times. Stretch your back. Stand up from your desk when you’re on a long call. Go for a 10 minute walk at lunchtime. If you can’t find 10 minutes, try a 5 minute walk. Or walk while you listen to a voicemail. Save your longer workouts for the weekends.
I create quick and easy customised exercise and nutrition plans with my clients, to make sure it works for them.
Key #6 Don’t be so hard on yourself
Our patterns and strategies are formed in childhood and we use our parents, teachers, society and our environment to copy and to learn from. Whenever you hear a judgemental voice(s) in your head, ask yourself the question:
“Who’s saying that?” or “Where did I hear that before?”
You will most likely find that it’s an old limited belief that you overheard or were taught repeatedly by a family member or teacher, even an old boss that has now become your biggest inner critic. Does it still serve you? If it doesn’t, why are you still holding onto it?
I enjoy working and banishing those cranky old beliefs. Bring them on!
Key #7 Everyone’s reality is different
All of us were raised with our own set of beliefs and values based on our upbringing and surroundings. We view our reality through the lens of our experiences, good, bad or traumatic.
We are all coping with our own reality, based on our experiences and learnt behaviours from when we were young. People might not all be able to see your point of view or agree with your methods, and that is okay. Listen to what their message is and see if you can find common ground or agree to disagree, but respect their perception and values. Try and see the situation objectively and the outcome might teach you a lot more about yourself and each other, than you initially thought possible.
These 7 keys are an important starting point on your journey to change. It has helped many of my clients to see a world beyond their current reality and reach inner clarity and external growth.
If you would like to discuss any of these keys with me, or would like to do some deeper work, please schedule a “get to know you” call and let us unlock your full potential.
With Gratitude Michelene
[email protected] www.ucandolifecoaching.com +44 757 2328140