The News King takes his throne Recipes and Round the World trips from the King’s jesters - Page 17

No. 614 The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 Friday February 11, 2005 Home office attacked The latest in Cambridge fashion: PREP, available with Varsity over University’s animal testing record

Amy Goodwin (Scientific Procedures) Act of with occasional evening work 1986. A ‘cost-benefit test’ car- and so no-one would have ACASE BEING brought ried out by the Home Office been present on site to call for before the High Court by an weighs up the anticipated suf- a vet in any case. animal rights group may have fering of animals, categorised Thomas is arguing in the a major impact on the future of as mild, moderate or substan- High Court that this meant the animal experimentation. The tial, against the benefits likely licensing was unlawful. For British Union for the to accrue from the research. Cambridge group In Defence of Abolition of Vivisection The pain experienced by the Animals, the issue is one of trust. (BUAV) claims to have ‘over- Cambridge primates was The case is currently in stage whelming’ evidence that laws judged to be ‘moderate’, a one of judicial review. The to protect laboratory animals decision that BUAV’s solicitor Home Office is using proce- at Cambridge University are David Thomas believes calls dural evidence in its attempt to not being properly enforced. the entire system into ques- stop the case going any further, BUAV believes that the sys- tion. “If there is routine under- a move that Cambridge group tematic abuses reported to them estimation occurring in the In Defence of Animals finds by an undercover investigator cost-benefit assessment at ‘disappointing’. contradict the general public’s Cambridge, this raises the “The public entrusts the perception that animals are possibility that similar deci- Home Office to ensure that adequately protected under cur- sions are being made in some scientific progress through rent legislation. of the 4000 licensed research animal experimentation pro- The investigator spent ten exercises across Britain”. ceeds ethically,” said Jeff months at the Huntingdon As the anticipated suffering Skopek. “Given this relation- research facility, during which was considered ‘moderate’ ship of trust, the Home time she discovered monkeys rather than ‘substantial’ by Office should facilitate moves the tops of whose skulls had Home Office inspectors, the that would lead to greater As Valentine’s Day approaches, take a look at different aspects of romantic life in Cambridge. been sawn off. Toxins had been project license was not referred transparency. In this case the Survey of sexual behaviour: page 8. Sexual health: page 16. Selling Sex: page 19. Editorial: page 11. injected into their brains to to the Animal Procedure Home Office may not have induce strokes and the animals Committee. That this safe- acted in accordance with the were then left for up to fifteen guard was easily bypassed by values of the people who hours overnight whilst no staff Cambridge University does entrusted it with power to RAG blind date success member was on site. Some of not surprise Thomas. make ethical decisions on the monkeys were found dead Although he is quick to stress their behalf ”. in the morning and others that he does not wish “to cast Written submissions were Brigitte Bookayastha be paired off with a specific indi- ried after meeting on a RAG were in “a very poor condi- any aspersions on the objectiv- demanded by the judge on vidual. One nameless student Blind Date a few years ago is a tion”. ity of inspectors”, he points Monday. The case is being TUESDAY’S MASS BLIND slipped their RAG rep £20 to perennial heartmelter, most peo- A report on primate out that most are ex-vivisec- brought against the Home Date was declared ‘a huge success’ guarantee the company of their ple who took part saw it as an research at Cambridge tionists themselves and thus Office and Cambridge by RAGPresident Dominic long-term object of lust. opportunity to meet people they University published by the “immersed in that culture”. University has no representa- Hinton. Over £8,000 was raised The 1,000 straight, LBG, might otherwise never lock eyes Home Office in February Cambridge scientists them- tive in court. for charity on a night which saw graduate and undergraduate cou- with across a soul-sapping library 2003 concluded that there selves admitted that the mon- However a spokesperson 2,000 Cambridge students step- ples proved a visible presence on or a smoky college bar. was no evidence that existing keys might suffer ‘serious neu- stated that, “There are good ping out to meet their mystery the Cambridge nightlife scene as One student was more cynical. safeguards were in any way rological consequences’ such as ethical, scientific, legal and matches with varying expecta- they flocked to special offers “I saw it as good practice for life in defective. epilepsy, which BUAV believes economic reasons for making tions and degrees of nervousness. nights at thirteen clubs and pubs the wider world, when you never A University spokesperson should have been classified as sure that animals are looked Having provided descriptions around the town. Both Life and know how long you might have to said in response to the BUAV substantial suffering “on a after to the highest possible and a drawing of their ideal date Ballare nightclubs provided cut- spend being falsely jolly with allegations that the 2003 common sense basis”. standards and as few used as on their forms, JCRs across price entry to those who showed someone awful”. Although this report “confirmed that the If a research project is able possible. It makes good scien- Cambridge were full of datees their matching RAG forms, and attitude stood the student in good welfare of animals used in to stop substantial suffering it tific sense to house animals in demanding their friends’ opinions Ballare helped add that note of stead when their date turned out research at Cambridge is of can still be classified as ‘mod- the best possible conditions on whether their match’s replies sophistication with free cham- to be “an evil northern goblin”, the utmost importance, that erate’, and animals must be and make sure the best possi- were ‘tongue-in-cheek’ or ‘just pagne for couples who arrived most people seemed to have a good science and good animal euthanized if a certain pain ble care from skilled and expe- plain odd’. Many had high hopes early. Even Gardies got in on the great time which was hopefully welfare go hand in hand, and threshold is reached. rienced carers is available… of securing a perfect partner for act, promising a free Polaroid something “a bit different from that the value and importance But the 24 hour veterinary research must continue if we the evening as entrants were photo of the first hundred couples the usual”. Students described of the science here should be care that animals are entitled are to make essential life-sav- encouraged to bribe their college to cross the doorway in search of their nights variously as ‘a barrel of acknowledged”. to was not available for this ing advances in medicine”. RAG reps. Whilst some simply end-of-night sustenance. laughs’, ‘the beginning of some- At present, research licens- project. Scientists involved A judgement is expected in paid up in order to get a higher Although the story of the thing beautiful’, and ‘an excuse for ing operates under the Animals typically worked a 9-5 day three to four weeks. ‘date rating’, others requested to Cambridge couple who got mar- drunken hilarity’.

EATING DISORDERS PAGE 2 BNP DEBATE PAGE 4 24-HOUR BINGE PAGE 7 NED BEAUMAN PAGE 10 WHO CAN YOU TRUST? PAGE 12 CABARET COMEBACK PAGE 19 SCI-FI COUNTERPOINT PAGE 22 2 NEWS February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk News in Brief Students attacked in Lion Yard MEDIA SUCCESS Chine Mbubaegbu through the upper storeys of incident, however, they were The creative talents of Lion Yard car park where they left shaken.” Cambridge students have TWO CAMBRIDGE students said they were “thrown to the The girls were critical of the been recognised in the Emap have told of how they were floor”. The bouncers then held doormen at Ballare, who ejected Fanzine Awards shortlist. attacked by two men after being the doors shut so they could not them from the club. One of the Meat magazine has been thrown out of Ballare Nightclub get outside. students said: “We were drunk nominated for Best Student in the centre of town. Both girls were then but weren’t actually doing any- Publication and Jessica The two female students approached by two men, one on a thing. We didn’t think we’d done Holland was nominated in from Emmanuel College, had bike, who proceeded to separate anything wrong… If they hadn’t the Best Student Writer cat- been enjoying a night out on them and then try to steal their chucked us out, we wouldn’t egory. Winners will be January 27 at Rumboogie, the bags. One of the girls, a have been attacked.” announced on March 1st. Hawks’ Club’s Wednesday night Philosophy student, said she She added: “The bouncers are event at the popular club in the remembers that they ended up on knobs. To throw us out down a centre of town. the floor. The men were stopped car park is totally irresponsible.” NEW LGBT EXEC The girls, who wish to from harassing the girls any fur- The assistant manager of the remain nameless, admitted that ther when a car, noticing the dis- nightclub, however, disputed the Elections for a new execu- they had consumed a significant turbance, stopped to lend assis- fact that they had been thrown tive committee were held at amount of alcohol and were tance. The two attackers fled out for no reason, saying: “It a CUSU LGBT open meet- subsequently ejected from the without taking anything from sounds like they had done some- ing on Monday night. Olly club by a bouncer who, accord- them. The students were then thing naughty. The issue was not Glover is the new Chair, ing to one of the girls, picked taken to Parkside Police station that they had just had too much David Phillips has been the girls up, one under each by the two women in the car who to drink.” elected Treasurer and arm. They were then forced to had stopped to help. Anyone with information should

Alistair Fair will be handling y Phillips leave the club, not by the usual Sgt. Jon Hutchinson, heading contact Sgt Hutchinson at Parkside

Communications. No-one Luc exit at the side of the club where the investigation, said: “Neither Police Station on 0845 456 456 4 stood for Campaigns Officer queues normally form, but women were injured during the or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111. or Graduate Representative. The car park at Lion Yard shopping centre, Cambridge

INDIE SOC CD CU Indie Music Society has Vagrant exiled Cashpoint warning put together a compilation CD of student bands which Chine Mbubaegbu Lucacs left Cambridge by will be sold to raise money noon the following day. If he Lucy Phillips for the Tsunami appeal. The A CAMBRIDGE homeless enters Cambridge before CD will be launched at a gig man has been ordered to leave October 2005 when the order POLICE ARE warning students to be on at the Man on the Moon town by the county council for expires, the prison sentence their guard against cash machine fraud- y Phillips pub this Saturday. begging on the streets. will be activated. sters following an incident last weekend. The order came after Alastair Roberts who heads A Churchill student discovered that Luc Cambridge County Court had the City Anti-Social money had been stolen from their account PAGE TURNING awarded a civil injunction Behaviour Section said: “This after using the ATM machine at the against Kalman Lucacs, 20, should send out a very clear Texaco Garage, Huntingdon Road, which Cambridge student Helen which forbade Lucacs or anyone message to people who think had been tampered with by the fraudsters. Oyeyemi’s first novel ‘The acting on his behalf from loiter- begging is an acceptable form Porters from the colleges nearby are Icarus Girl’ is to be featured ing within 10 metres of any of behaviour in Cambridge. urging students who have used the on the BBC’s new television cashpoint or bank, or begging “Support agencies working machine recently to check their accounts arts show, ‘Page Turners’. within the local government area with beggars say that giving for any discrepancy and inform their bank The show’s brief is to com- of Cambridge City Council. money directly to them is not accordingly. bine the populist structure of Lucacs, however, did not helpful as it often goes to sus- Nationwide, who own the cash the Big Read with the wide keep to the court order and fre- taining their lifestyle prob- machine, said: “Be vigilant when you are appeal of Richard and Judy’s quently breached the terms of lems, which can include the around a machine. If you suspect that it book club and the literary the injunction. He was there- misuse of drugs and alcohol, has been tampered with or notice any- clout of peer review. The fore sentenced to 49 days in rather than going towards the thing wrong with your account, make judges who selected 24 prison for 4 instances of dis- help they really need. There is Nationwide aware. In the case of fraud, books from the 300 submit- obeying the order. also an assumption that beg- transactions can be refunded.” ted by eager publishers were Judge O’Brien, who gars are street homeless when, A police spokesperson confirmed that a looking for something ‘dis- presided over the case held on in fact, our research shows case of fraudulent behaviour had been tinctive or surprising’. Wednesday 9, was persuaded that a significant number are reported at the Texaco cash machine and to suspend the sentence, how- in some form of settled are urging bank customers to be careful ever, on the condition that accommodation.” when performing transactions. TSUNAMI EYEWIT- NESS?

Researchers at Cambridge are asking for holidaymakers who were eyewitnesses of Eating Disorders Awareness Week the Asian tsunami to con- tribute their own account of Lucy Phillips sex, race or background, but “This year the message is example, binge-eating due to treatment services that are actual- events. Professor Robin women are ten times more one of hope and that it is pos- stress and consequent fasting to ly being implemented with the Spence hopes that collecting EVENTS HAVE been taking likely to be affected by eating sible to get better.” ‘make up for it’, or compulsive National Institute for Clinical such accounts will help give place across Cambridge this disorders than men, and it is She added, “Men are showing fasting and exercise as part of a Excellence (NICE) guidelines for a better understanding of the week to mark National more common in 15 to 25- more signs of eating disorders, training regime.” the treatment of eating disorders. tsunami and its effects. Eating Disorders Awareness year-olds. as they become more aware of Surveys have suggested that EDA Chief executive Susan Anyone who can help should Week. This year’s theme is Ms Hayman said, “Eating body image.” 16 to 72% of female athletes are Ringwood explained, “We wel- call 01223 460475. ‘getting better’. disorders flourish in a perfec- CU Counselling Service runs affected by disordered eating, comed the NICE Guidelines King’s and Homerton were tionist environment, such as a series of specialist groups for with the incidence being greater when they were published just among the colleges to hold Cambridge, where there are people with low weight, bulim- in those sports where a low over a year ago. However we are ABORTION DEBATE workshops and talks given by many highly successful people. ia and binge eaters. body weight - aesthetic, very concerned that across the dieticians. On Wednesday Image is very important. Jo Read, CUSU’s Womens’ endurance and weight class NHS, services are still very patchy CUSU have asked for an night a discussion entitled The meeting highlighted the Officer, said: “Whilst the idea of sports - is preferential. With and some areas have little or no extension to Wednesday’s ‘Supporting Friends with importance of trying to catch an eating disorders as a phenome- appropriate treatment, recovery service provision. Our snapshot deadline on the Pro-Life Eating Disorders’ was held at eating disorder in its early non is relatively well understood from an eating disorder can be survey shows that, amongst other legal letter, citing the annual Queens’ College. Guest stages. Perhaps this can be by many in the University, it is achieved in under five years. things, 42% of GPs did not make turnover of the CUSU exec- speakers included Penny done by raising awareness important to raise awareness of The Eating Disorders an early diagnosis, 55% of people utive as an impediment to Hayman of the University through psycho-education and the wider spectrum of disor- Awareness Week follows last are not being treated by a special- the timely preparation of a Counselling Service and John education about nutrition". dered eating and to debunk week’s critical publication by ist and only 17% of young people legal case. The University’s Brice from Adequate National She continued, “If you have a many myths surrounding ‘nor- National Eating Disorders are treated in an appropriate set- Pro-Life Society and its Treatment for Sufferers of friend [in whom you recognise a mal’ eating patterns.” Association (EDA) to the House ting. This unfortunate situation solicitors have agreed to Eating Disorders. problem], challenge them with “Many popular ideas about of Commons on the provision of must be resolved quickly to pre- their requests. Anyone can develop an eat- respect and care. Don’t ridicule eating can cause direct or indi- eating disorder treatment servic- vent more young lives being lost ing disorder, regardless of age, them or just accept it. rect harm to individuals. For es. The report compares the to these deadly disorders.” NEWS www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 3 Kilroy living as traveller in Cottenham Anna McIlreavy the UK today - the travellers’ Codona, who has been involved cause and their impact on local in an eight-year legal battle to ROBERT KILROY-SILK, communities. stay on the Woodside site there. independent MEP, has been The former member of the Mr Codona recently lost a High criticised for plans to ‘live like a UKIP is also known for his Court battle and may now be gypsy’ for a week with a traveller previous pronouncements evicted from his land. community near Cambridge as about travellers and his forth- Mr Codona said: “I’m trying material for a new Channel 4 right views on immigration. In to give Robert a real view of reality TV show - a move wide- the past, Kilroy has said: what it’s like for Roma and Irish ly condemned as a weakly dis- “What gypsies are getting travellers so he can make his guised publicity stunt in the away with in certain parts of own mind up. He trusts me and run-up to the general election. the country is totally wrong my family and has been sitting Kilroy, who launched his and must be stopped immedi- down and eating with us. He is new political party ‘Veritas’ on ately.” And at the launch of here as a guest of my family and Wednesday, has been spending Veritas, he said Britain is being at the end of the day he is help- this week in a small caravan on ‘stolen’ by mass immigration. ing me by keeping my mind off a traveller’s encampment in Initially the programme had what is going on. No-one has Hatch, near Sandy. But even based Kilroy in Smithy Fen, ever come on the inside to have after claims that he will be ‘liv- Cottenham, but the location a look but Robert has made that ing like a gypsy,’ Kilroy has was changed to Hatch at the choice, he has made a step that An example of what’s in store for Robert Kilroy-Silk as he gears up to ‘live like a gypsy’. been caught sleeping in a near- last minute. Residents of no other politician has made.” by Holiday Inn on the A1 for Cottenham were originally Kilroy will also return to said he hoped Kilroy’s famous Cambridge City Council has ellers, offering advice on how to the first few days of his stay at sceptical about the proposed Cottenham to chair a meeting ego would not get in the way. recently announced plans to handle eviction. Residents have least. It is thought that council stay. Pierre Marx, who lives in between residents and travellers Andrew Lansley, open up a new site for travellers criticised the lack of legal advice rules are preventing him stay- Cottenham, said: “It is purely as part of the experiment. Rick Conservative MP for South at the edge of Cambridge. In a for those who feel targeted by ing on the site. a publicity stunt with no ben- Bristow, from the Cottenham Cambridgeshire, said: “Is there move to give an authorised travellers based on their land. The material from this efit towards the residents of Residents Association, wel- nothing Robert Kilroy-Silk place for travellers to stay, the Watch out for Kilroy and experiment is due to result in a Cottenham.” comed the move saying no-one won’t do for publicity? I don’t council is tackling the issue of his perma-tan on Channel 4 one-hour programme aiming Now staying in Hatch, Kilroy had previously been successful know why he is doing this but it hostility between travellers and next season. to address one of the most has been spending time with in getting travellers and resi- is certainly not to highlight residents. The government also contentious social issues facing travellers’ campaigner Cliff dents to meet together. But he solutions to the problem.” provides a free helpline for trav- - See Features, page 12 Sanjeet Chana enjoys an impromptu holiday LSE student sells head

John McHugh A week ago Andrew Fischer from Omaha sold his forehead A STUDENT from the to SnoreStop, a US company London School of Economics which produces a snoring reme- has put his forehead on the y Phillips dy, for £20,000. Although some

market for £5,000. Luc advertisers have offered to be Travis Hayes, an American permanently tattooed, Hayes post-graduate student, hopes has rejected any such suggestion to raise money to make a film though he would ‘consider hav- about his experiences of being ing one on my bottom.’ a walking advert. intends to send the piece to Though many of the Hayes has been using eBay film festivals around the world Americans seem to be utlising to sell his forehead advertising with the hope of getting it the novel concept of body adver- space. He has put particular widely distributed. He will tising, an Aberystwyth Student emphasis on the way in which also be running a website has put a Buy-It-Now price of his central London advertising which will have daily updates $10,000 to advertise on his head. route will maximise exposure. of his experiences. He is offering to put a credit On the last check, he had A quick eBay search reveals card-sized advertising banner received one bid matching the that Hayes is not alone in see- on his forehead for one 9-5 day £5,000 asking price. ing money-making potential in and then wear a T-shirt bear- Hayes’ film project is enti- body advertising. Numerous ing the logo of the advertisers tled ‘A Word From My others, mainly in the USA, for a month. Someone has Sponsor’. The American offer a similar service. already bid $100.

Sanjeet Chana reclines on Waikiki beach after winning the annual RAG Jailbreak competition CAMBRIDGE RAG raised rules demanding that no-one and Durham (who entered ‘Yobs’ hinder access £4-5,000 after last week’s spend any money or arrange 44) it has created some RAG Jailbreak, in which transport with family and invaluable publicity. Edwin J Lane formers in Yorkshire compre- ment exerting more pressure challengers from three top friends, and that they keep in But even with the added hensives when a bunch of yobs than ever on the UK’s top uni- British universities needed to constant mobile phone con- competition Cambridge was CHANCELLOR OF Oxford with more money than sense versities to admit a greater reach a destination as far away tact with the organisers as clearly victorious, taking both University, Chris Patten, re- do what young yobs have proportion of state school stu- as possible within 36 hours, they make their attempts at first and second place and opened the debate on access to always done and will always dents. In 2003, 55 per cent of without spending any money. intercontinental travel. entering a full 15 more student Oxbridge colleges last week do, that is to behave in ways the students admitted to Hawaii was the winning Topping last year’s than the other two institutions. when he blamed ‘public school that shame the families and Cambridge colleges were from haul for two Churchill under- Jailbreak coup, the winners Dominic Hinton, RAG yobs’ for damaging the universi- schools that have lavished state schools, falling well short graduates, who were closely Alana Vogt and Sanjeet President, said it had been ty’s efforts to attract more state advantages on them.’ of the ‘benchmark’ of 77 per followed by Sheena Shah Chana, both from Churchill, ‘fantastic,’ adding ‘it was defi- school applicants. His comments follow cent set by the government. (Newnham) and Simon managed to reach Hawaii on nitely much better than last Speaking at the 25th anniver- reports in the national press of Although many university Small (Trinity), reaching the Saturday after pre- year. We managed to get two sary of the founding of Green unruly behaviour by members authorities have rejected these Tokyo in a repeat of last year’s arranging a free private car teams off the continent.’ College, Oxford, Lord Patten, of Oxford drinking society benchmarks, claiming that top winning attempt. No-one to Heathrow and a free Cambridge also had teams the former Conservative party ‘The Bullingdon Club’, who universities are being forced to from Oxford got beyond Virgin flight to LA from make it to Amsterdam, chairman and Governor of were arrested by police in make up for a failing educa- Germany, while Durham was where they contrived more Brussels, Essen and Paris. Hong Kong, admitted that December last year for trash- tion system, there is still con- more successful with a couple free flights to reach Hawaii. The winners will receive Oxford has a problem attracting ing a pub. The case reflects the cern over the fact that many reaching San Francisco and The Cambridge RAG £250 travel vouchers from ‘able sixth-formers’ from the eagerness of the national state school students with thus third place. Jailbreak started last year STA travel and the winners state sector. He argued that stu- media to portray both Oxford three A grades at A-level do 59 students set off at 9am though similar events have from each individual university dents were put off applying by and Cambridge as living up to not apply to Cambridge col- from Parker’s Piece on Friday taken place in Bristol for the will win £100 STA vouchers. the image of Oxford as a play- their stereotypical image. leges – a situation not helped as part of (what has now last few years. This year, with ground for privileged students. The issue of image has by Oxbridge’s ‘Brideshead been termed) the ‘Doxbridge the inclusion of Oxford Oliver Tilley He said, ‘It cannot be good become more important in Revisited’ image. Jailbreak 2005’, with strict (who entered 10 students) for recruitment of able sixth- recent years, with the govern- 4 NEWS February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk A week of Weeks St Andrew’s BNP debate Experience Islam week Joe Gosden that it was important to “get claim that the organisation was The University’s Islamic Society (ISOC) has organised a series of debate out into the open” rather “outrageous, out of control and full events this week for “Experience Islam Week” to promote the image ST ANDREW’S University than “sweeping such issues under of lefties who need to grow up”. of Islam and give students the opportunity to find out what the reli- Debating Union has been forced the carpet. The extreme views of Griffin, who read Law at gion entails. to withdraw an invitation made to the BNP challenge the orthodoxy Downing and was awarded a As the world’s fastest growing religion, Islam has increasingly been BNP leader Nick Griffin to speak of the main stream political parties Blue in boxing during his time at under the media spotlight and many feel that it is often portrayed in a debate on multiculturalism but it is important that these views Cambridge, was convicted of inaccurately. This week’s events will give Cambridge students the amid a furore of protest from stu- are challenged. It is very much a Incitement to Racial Hatred in chance to hear internationally-renowned academics and lecturers dent bodies, the local community case of freedom of speech.” 1998 and has a long history of speak on Islam, speak to Muslim students about their faith and have and the university. NUS Scotland President involvement with the far right, their questions on the religion answered. The motion “This house Melanie Ward highlighted including the National Front. Mohsin Badat of ISOC feels that “only by understanding one believes that the multicultural their “No Platform”, saying A debate run by the Forum in another’s beliefs can we hope to live in a multicultural society, and so experiment has failed” was due to “there can be no place for fas- Cambridge on the motion the engenderment of not only mutual tolerance but mutual apprecia- be debated on Wednesday but the cists or racists in the student “What is Extremism”, which tion is the ultimate aim of the week... We have been given help in choice of speaker met with strong community or Scotland”. featured Nick Griffin speaking achieving our goals by the Cambridge City council and Cambridge opposition from NUS Scotland, The BNP hit back at their crit- against Lembit Opik of the University, who have very kindly supported the week.” which sent an urgent fax to urging ics, with press officer Dr Phil Liberal Democrats, had to be This year ISOC has adopted a varied approach, ranging from talks St Andrews to withdraw their Edwards accusing the NUS of cancelled in 2002 in the face of on diverse topics given by renowned figures such as Karen Armstrong invitation. Peter Blair, St Andrew’s being undemocratic and wanting strong opposition from the to ‘Layla,’ a cultural event at the Guildhall with live music, martial Debating Union President, said to “stifle debate”. He went on to Jewish and Islamic societies. arts, poetry and a Moroccan style bazaar. The week culminates on Friday night at the Law faculty on the Sidgwick Site, with a talk given by Yvonne Ridley, the British journal- ist who was captured by the Taliban, was released and then subse- quently converted to Islam. A full list of events can be found at Oxford pushes for uncapped fees www.isoc.co.uk/eiw. es

Rumina Hassam v hi CICCU week rc It was revealed that over 800 students attended the first series of arsity A

morning ‘Direction’ talks, as the organisers of CICCU’s annual V mission responded to criticism of the event. Direction, which is on a smaller scale than last year’s triennial two-week mission, has centred around a series of talks, the last two of which take place tonight and tomorrow evening. Around Cambridge, college Christian Unions have also been running events to coincide with the mission, such as gospel choir per- formances, ‘grill a Christian’ Q&A sessions, and pancake parties. However, the mission has not passed without criticism. One student told Varsity, ‘you just can’t get escape being prosely- tised, I don’t like the aggressive way these people want to stick their message in our faces’. A number of poster campaigns were sabotaged by graffiti, met with complaints to deans, or The Bridge of Sighs at Oxford University. Lord Patten has pleaded “Remove fees caps for Oxford.” ripped down. At Newnham, several posters were reportedly smeared with swastikas. Amelia Worsley know from the moment they be allowed to charge up to gy paper containing plans for Direction’s Publicity Officer Alice Keen was keen to point complete their university applica- £3,000 a year for undergraduate restructuring the university, out in a statement that “we’ve used lots of different types of OXFORD UNIVERSITY tion forms, namely that universi- courses. According to govern- published last week. It includ- publicity, such as street drama and gospel singing, along with should be able to charge unlimit- ties and courses are different. ment policy, the amount ed cutting back the number of the usual posters. We just want to tell other students in ed tuition fees in order to remain “That does not mean that some charged is up to the university UK- and EU-based students Cambridge the truth that Jesus loved them so much that he a world-class institution for deserve less than others. Any and could vary by subject. But in from 11,000 to 10,000, and died on a cross so that they could be forgiven and to be hon- teaching and research, institution that does its job com- a survey conducted by the increasing those from outside est, if you believed what we believe, I’m sure you would want Chancellor of Oxford University, petently deserves praise. But not Guardian last week, 34% of the EU, whose fees are not to tell everyone too.” Chris Patten, said last week. every university, for example, can Vice-Chancellors said that they subject to a cap. Last year Varsity’s front page, entitled Predator Pray, sparked a In a speech at Green College, undertake world-class research.” will charge the maximum top- The speech has prompted series of letters when it examined the 2004 mission, and the same which outlined his views on He expressed his concern that up fees across the board. concerns that increases in fees seems likely in 2005. But following this year’s talk on Is God where the university would be in because of the “squeeze” on its The government has will damage access, with stu- Real, one student said, “I think CICCU have a right to publicise 25 years’ time, he said that he budget, Oxford is “clinging on” to pledged not to raise the £3,000 dents choosing courses based their events, and I think people have a right to not turn up to hoped tuition fees would be its “international standing”, with cap until 2009 at the earliest. on their ability to pay rather them, or to turn up as I have done and not be converted. It’s a uncapped by 2030. its teaching and research ratings Any change to the present pol- than their academic potential. free country after all.” He criticised the government’s suffering recently. “We are still in icy will require a vote of both The Chancellor conceded Sam Richardson present “brave but limited poli- the race, but there is not much Houses of Parliament. that a removal of the cap on cy”, stating that “the cap makes a petrol left in the tank”, he added. Lord Patten’s speech comes tuition fees “would highlight One World Week nonsense of what all students From 2006, universities will in the wake of Oxford’s strate- again the issues of access.” The week kicked off on Sunday with enthusiastic supporters handing out leaflets in Market Street and a Samba band rounding people into an event in King’s called the Global Village, featuring stalls representing different countries and CU students battle for NUS seat cultures, and giving viewers the chance to sample foreign cui- sine, listen to some exotic music, or watch a film about a cur- Amy Goodwin is the main body charged with icy. This year I’ve learned that rent political issue. That evening the Global Village was fol- implementing NUS policy. there are endless opportunities lowed up by a talk on the links between Geography and TWO CAMBRIDGE stu- Streeting is standing on a to influence government deci- Christianity, and a discussion around the subject of ‘Does reli- dents are going head to head three-pronged Labour sions on matters ranging from gion do more harm than good?’. in their efforts to be elected to Student platform promising a fees and funding to support Wednesday marked the celebration of the Tibetan New Year the NUS National Executive ‘free, fair and funded educa- for international students”. with a traditional Losar Party (in Tibetan, ‘lo’- means year and Committee. tion system’, ‘fair and equal Sivapalan agrees that the ‘sar’ means new). Current CUSU President access’ and ‘a better student NUS has an ‘immense amount CUSU held an Ethical Meeting on Tuesday, giving students Wes Streeting and Homerton experience’. He wants to be of potential’ but that there is the chance to see what the University and Colleges are doing finalist and ex-CUSU Higher part of a ‘fighting Union’, ‘lots of work that needs to be concerning ethical and environmental issues. Wes Streeting Education Funding Officer although he admits that the done’. Sivalapan denied that This coming Saturday it will be possible to sample the delights Robin Sivapalan are both NUS is still ‘clambering out of there was any significant of the ‘Rich-Poor Dinner’, where guests are randomnly allocated standing for the position of a bad period’ and that ‘years of political distance between either a sumptuous feast or a meagre portion to emphasise the glob- Vice-President for Education. mismanagement’ mean it has him and Streeting, although al disparities between rich and poor. Elections will be held in been inefficient in influencing he admits he might be per- In a world where there is no longer a clear distinction April for the post, which and challenging recent gov- ceived as more left-wing. between sides, and where religion is an increasingly con- encompasses co-ordination of ernment policy. Streeting Streeting described the mass tentious issue, the Religious Fair marks the end of the week on the NUS’s campaigns and ini- stresses the ‘tremendous of militant left-wing factions Sunday. Check out www.oneworldweek.co.uk for the official tiatives on educational matters amount’ he has learned in the NUS as ‘Pythonesque’ blurb, news and events to come. and representation of the through his experience with whilst declaring his intention Helen Lindley NUS in national decision- CUSU. “Students are very to ‘work across factions’ if Robin Sivapalan making. The 27-strong NEC much affected by national pol- elected to the post. NEWS www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 5

Shooting fundraiser - CUWBbC raise £700 in charity shoot-out Science Matters Sex wars?

CUWBbC A controversial soon-to-be-published article which claims that men can think faster than women will add fuel to a debate sparked off by Larry Summers, President of Harvard, last month. Summers claimed the reason that women were less successful in careers in sci- ence and maths was due to the fact that they are inherently less able than men. The study, carried out by Professor Edward Reed, a zool- ogist at Toronto University, and two psychologists at the University of Western Ontario, found that men’s brains can transmit nerve impulses up to four per cent faster than women’s. The study involved tests on 186 male subjects and 201 female sub- jects which included a battery of cognitive assessments to measure their intelligence and skills. The size of their heads was also measured. Electrodes were used to time how long it took for an image that was flashed in front of the eye to send an impulse back to the visual cortex. The study has stirred up less than positive reactions amongst many and the research credentials of the scientists have already been questioned by other neurologists. Professor Steven Rose, director of the brain and behaviour research group at the Open University, said previous studies suggested no difference in decision-making between men and women. “It is true that men and women use dif- The Cambridge University Women’s Basketball team recently raised over £700 when they held a shooting fundraiser in Waitrose car park, ferent parts of the brain for similar tasks but the time taken to com- Trumpington. The money raised by the event, which was held last Sunday, was split between buying the team’s new kit and ‘Friends of plete the tasks is identical.” Addenbrooke’s,’ the charity supported by Waitrose. The aim of the event was to try and shoot 1,000 foul shots, uncontested shots taken 15ft A study carried out in 1997 suggested that it was the ability to jug- from the basket. A smaller net was set up for young children to have the opportunity to learn how to shoot properly with the help of the team. gle ideas in the mind, which depends on the brain’s systems for briefly holding and processing words and objects in short-term “working memory”, that was the real definition of intelligence. Feminist writer and historian Bea Campbell has questioned the findings of the report, saying: “The distribution of intelligence is much the same for New exhibit all genders and all races. Our experience and common sense tells us that the quest to prove one or another biological group is brainier HEFCE grant than the other is really a vain exercise.” Claire Mawer Gwyneth Harrison Charlotte Keane wants the gown to remain in University. Cambridge received ON FEBRUARY 11, the the exhibit, against the wishes CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY the highest award over other Chevalier Award Churchill Museum, London, of the owner. was awarded the largest single prestigious research centres will open to the public for the Natalie Adams, Archive payout by the Higher Education such as University College Professor Ekhard Salje FRS, Head of the University of first time. Based at the Cabinet Manager at Churchill, said the Funding Council for England London and Oxford University. Cambridge’s Department of Earth Sciences, has been awarded the War Museum, the exhibition new museum is a “wonderful (HEFCE) last week. The organ- Ian Leslie, the Pro-Vice prestigious title of ‘Chevalier dans l’Ordre des Palmes forms part of the £11.5 million resource” and that Churchill isation announced its largest ever Chancellor for Research, said: Académiques’. Literally “Knight of the Order of Academic Palms”, Churchill project, a major are “delighted” to have been funding award - a payout of £1.4 “The University of Cambridge this honour is one of the highest distinctions in France, bestowed restoration programme able to contribute. billion, with Cambridge receiv- is delighted that the excellence by the government on those individuals who have made an out- designed to commemorate the ing £77.5 million. of research at Cambridge has standing contribution to arts, languages or science. 40th anniversary of the death The HEFCE money is again been recognised and sup- Professor Salje received the award at a ceremony held on January of our ‘Greatest Briton’. A awarded to universities for the ported by the government. This 25 at the residence of the French Ambassador and attended by rep- commonly unknown fact is that construction of new buildings or funding will help us to continue resentatives of the House of Lords. Olivier Chambard of the French the 1,000 documents and for the rennovation of old ones, our investment in quality facili- Embassy thanked him for his support of the UK-France dialogue, as images on display have been as well as to fund research and ties for our world-class well as his scientific achievements. gathered from the Churchill teaching. The amount an institu- research, which will benefit the The Professor works within the Mineralogy and Mineral Physics Archives Centre that is based tion receives from the HEFCE region, the country and the Group of the Earth Sciences Department, a group with strong links here in Cambridge, at is determined by the standards of wider community.” to the Interdisciplinary Research Centre in Superconductivity, the Churchill College. teaching and resources an insti- He outlined the way in which UK’s national centre for research into the origins and applications of The aim of the museum is to Churchill College was one of tution provides and, most impor- the University planned to use the superconductivity. His research focuses on developing “a mathemat- present an “intimate and multi- the first national and common- tantly, the research facilities and money awarded, saying: “[It will] ically correct and physically meaningful description of the faceted” view of Churchill, to wealth memorials established reputation of that institution. allow us to refurbish and upgrade microstructures in minerals” and his discoveries have led to “a new the extent that exhibits include to celebrate Sir Winston’s Cambridge has been recog- more of our currently unsuitable understanding of how atomic and electronic transport occurs in min- a teething rattle that Churchill wartime leadership. Churchill nised as a leader in these areas or obsolete laboratory space, as erals with structural phase transition.” His recent award recognised used as a boy. However, the bequeathed the college its by the HEFCE who have cho- has been the University’s policy this work on the formation of mineral microstructures, and also that inclusion of one such relic, a motto ‘Forward’ and in 1959 sen to give the largest amount through successive estate plans on the statistical mechanics of phase transitions. christening gown worn by planted two trees in the gardens to the university in recognition over recent years. The work was undertaken in collaboration with scientists in Churchill, has sparked contro- of the college. Moreover, Sir of this. A total of £68.8 million “It will also help the France, and Professor Salje was honoured in particular for his support versy and received widespread Winston Churchill’s desire to of the award has been ear- University to dispose of and of scientific co-operation between the Department of Earth Sciences coverage in the national press as promote technological educa- marked for research capital replace certain lower quality and the Institute de Physique du Globe in Paris. He stressed the its three month loan from a pri- tion is reflected in the college’s expenditure, a clear indication facilities, thereby allowing better importance of alliances between individual academies and “designing vate collector has expired but statutory bias towards science, of the high standards of and more sustainable use of some a European Research Council in such a way as that it maintains the the director of the museum engineering and technology. research undertaken by the of the land in the city.” advantages of person-to-person co-operation.” Zoe Smeaton Global warming Sixth formers to start early With global warming, summer rainfall could drop by more than half and scorching summers may become increasingly frequent in breadbas- Rachel Cooper The proposal could see courses rather limiting and few schools are already experi- ket regions of East Britain. On February 8, Ministers of the bright pupils attending unsatisfying. Being able to menting with the proposed Environment Elliot Morley and Lord Whitty met with top farmland BRIGHT SIXTH formers Saturday morning sessions at make the next step by taking a scheme, namely Monkseaton officials to hear reports that climate change may lead to acute water should begin studying for a uni- local universities or taking part of a university course Community High School in shortages and serious damage to farms. versity degree while still at Open University courses, a should help to stretch and stim- North Tyneside - where Laura The warning highlights the attention given to global climate school, a government White move which has been wel- ulate such students.” Spence, denied a place at change preceding the Kyoto Protocol implementation next week. Paper will say later this month. comed by headteachers. But Dr Keeler was fearful Oxford University despite 5 As More than 200 leading experts on climate change attended the In her first major announce- Pupils will be encouraged to that the scheme may only bene- at A-level, studied. summit ‘Avoiding Dangerous Climate Change’ in Exeter last week. ment since taking on the role of sit A-levels and GCSEs early if fit those who are “lucky enough The White Paper, written in The Secretary of State of the Environment, Margaret Beckett, Secretary of State of Education, their teachers believe they can to be attending ‘good’ schools response to Sir Mike opened with a message that climate change “is already occurring” Ruth Kelly will declare her pass them. Teachers’ leaders who will be able to take up such Tomlinson’s report into second- and that “the risks are more serious than previously thought”. intention to stretch the most have expressed their support for an option and that those in less ary school reform, will be pub- Reports found that catastrophic events once thought highly unlike- gifted state-school pupils. such a step which would enable advantaged schools will not so lished at the end of the month. ly are now seen as possible or probable. Professor Chris Rapley, University degree ‘modules’ them to meet the needs of the easily be able to take up this Ministers are also keen to director of the British Antarctic Survey, presented database results of in science and maths would be brightest students. option.” He added: “Unless introduce another of Sir instability in Antarctic ice sheets, which could potentially raise sea offered alongside conventional James Keeler, Tutor for there was a widely adopted and Mike’s recommendations levels by 15 ft. Climate change scientists reported on the acidifica- sixth-form classes. Such mod- Admissions in the Sciences at understood national system, it which would see A-level stu- tion of seas, thawing of tundras and the melting of ice sheets affect- ules would count towards Selwyn College agreed: “Many would be very difficult to use dents writing a 4,000-word ing weather patterns, water resources and ecosystems. degree courses once the stu- of the brightest students find the results of such courses as extended essay to develop Yusuke Shimizu dents start university. A-level maths and science part of a conditional offer.” A thinking skills.

www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 ANALYSIS 7 An extended license for destruction?

for some of the costs asso- tivity of munitions workers. states. Scandinavia’s astronomical- still can, so rather than getting lence, even though it was spread ciated with the unsociable Although some of the original ly high alcohol taxes have engen- slowly wasted over an evening, out over a longer period. ANALYSIS side of it such as vandal- legislation has been gradually dered a culture of private drink- they binge hard and are com- It is for this reason that police are ism and violence. changed (pubs no longer have to ing, so although they may binge, pletely battered when the pubs one of the strongest detractors of HENRY BOWEN But the Cambridge shut for a period in the after- the problem of drunks roaming shut. Secondly, because nearly the new laws. Sir John Stevens, City council has already noons, for example), the cut-off the streets after hours looking for every pub closes at the same the country’s top policeman, has demonstrated that it may time of 11 o’clock has still trouble is much less severe. time, hundreds of drunken peo- warned that police forces will have not be very generous with remained. British society has In Ireland, when the drinking ple are disgorged simultaneously to deploy more patrols at night to s was revealed in Varsity at the new licenses. Po Na Na changed significantly since these hours were extended, the increase and frequently get in fights on deal with alcohol-related violence. the end of last term, nightclub, which applied for an laws were codified, and the in alcohol-related crime was so the streets and in taxi ranks. This is a serious point, particu- Anightlife in Cambridge extension in its opening hours changes are long overdue. bad that the opening hours are larly as the police are funded will undergo a major overhaul this from 12.30am until 2am in So what model should we currently being rolled back again. Ordinary drinkers from a government level and year. Coco’s nightclub is changing January, has had its application adopt for our drinking hours? But it would be foolish to stick to are sensible their extra costs will not be borne hands, and new ventures such as rejected on the basis that it will Many look to Southern Europe, our archaic opening laws for fear by the local councils which make Ta Bouche on Market Passage are cause too much disturbance to where countries allow drinking of repeating the Irish mistake. enough to choose the licensing decisions. There trying to attract students away local residents. Café Afrika had until early in the morning and The changes in licensing will be a how they drink must be a mechanism by which from their traditional venues. its license withdrawn last year suffer few of the effects of alco- positive step as long as they are some of the extra revenue from With the upcoming changes in after allegations of underage hol-induced crime which are so administered carefully. The first of these may well the late licenses is channelled the licensing laws, it is possible common in this country. But improve, at least after a transition back to the police who have to that opening hours will be Opportunities for planners in cities such as ne of the strongest period. Students from England in deal with the consequences. extended and there is an opportu- 24 hour drinking Manchester who hoped to culti- arguments for the Scottish universities are notorious These concerns are serious, but nity for establishments to offer 24 vate a relaxed ‘piazza’ atmosphere Ochanges is the fact that for spending their fresher’s weeks they must not be allowed to hour drinking. But these plans drinking and crowds gathering by allowing city centre bars to thousands of ordinary drinkers drinking at a frenzied pace obscure the fact that the new may well come up against opposi- outside the venue, which is in a open late during the nineties are sensible enough to choose despite the later opening hours drinking laws do represent a sig- tion from local authorities, which residential area. In attempting to found that the English did not when and how they drink with- there. But this doesn’t take long nificant improvement. The are being given greater powers by reconcile the needs of a modern behave as they had expected. out having it dictated to them. to settle down as they adapt to the majority of people will benefit, the new legislation. city centre with the concerns of Instead of sipping retsina and In a political climate where the drinking hours. Furthermore, the and City Councils such as This week, for the first time, local residents, the Council runs discussing Sartre, hundreds of government is becoming Office of Fair Trading this week Cambridge should not allow a pubs and bars have been able to the risk of stifling what little binge drinkers crowding onto increasingly prescriptive about ruled that local councils could minority of violent drunks to apply for new extended licenses nightlife we currently have. the streets indulged themselves what we eat and where we can impose minimum prices on excessively influence their alloca- to sell alcohol, which will not with violence and vandalism. smoke this legislation marks a drinks to curb bingeing during tions of the new licenses. Many come into force until November he Licensing Act, passed The city centres were revived, rare transfer of responsibility ‘happy hours’. students will undoubtedly con- this year. But the responsibility in 2003, was promised but at a heavy price. back to the individual. The second problem is of more tinue to drink heavily, but they for administering those licenses Tbefore the last general It is clear that the English The current 11 o’clock cut-off concern. In the nineties, police will soon have the luxury of a has been transferred from election in 2001. The current drinking culture bears little rela- has two negative consequences. forces initially heralded later- choice of late-night venues, Magistrates to local councils. licensing laws date back to tion to the Spanish or French. Firstly, drinkers facing such an opening bars as a solution, but instead of having to repeatedly This is a welcome change, World War I when they were Perhaps we can learn the lessons early deadline often try to drink quickly found that there was no endure the delights of because local councils have to pay aimed at increasing the produc- of other Northern European as much as possible while they decrease in the level of street vio- Cambridge’s nightclubs. 8 ANALYSIS February11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Survey raises sexual health questions ll

Rachel Willcock on we y Bar the consequences of Luc students’ sexual habits.

survey conducted by Pill rather than the condom Varsity has revealed as their sole method of con- Athat an alarming num- traception. 44% of people ber of students are still igno- answering the Varsity survey rant of the dangers of sexually were open to infection from transmitted diseases. Only STIs and a shocking 11% 36% of students asked actual- said they sometimes went ly knew what Clinic 1A was without any protection at all. (just to let the other 64% Only a negligible 6% of stu- know, it is the local sexual dents used both the condom health clinic). and the pill. This combina- This is a figure described as tion is described by Dr “disappointing” by Dr Chris Sonnex as “the ideal and Sonnex, a consultant in what should be the most Genito-Urinary medicine common method of contra- (GUM) at Addenbrooke’s. In ception.” Perhaps these fig- a culture of openness about ures can be attributed to sexuality it is surprising that what Richard Reid, CUSU so many students remain Welfare Officer, ascribes to a oblivious to the potential risks general feeling “that preg- which they are vulnerable to. nancy is the only risk.” There is still a reluctance to Clearly this is far from true. talk about the more unattrac- Dr Sonnex also points to a tive aspects of sex – though potential risk for Cambridge many are willing to discuss students in the trend for trav- frankly their use of vibrators elling from Cambridge (a low or handcuffs, few will confess risk area for life-threatening to having genital warts, a virus sexually transmitted infec- that a massive 70% of sexually tions like HIV) to higher risk active young women will have areas such as London. The at one time. This leads to a nightlife, particularly for the lack of knowledge, and more gay community, attracts importantly embarrassment Cambridge students who are The sexual habits of Cambridge students are not so much under renewed criticism as new scrutiny about visiting the hospital for perhaps ill-catered for here, to a check up. venture further afield. If this How many times a week do you have Maggie Hartley, college is coupled with unsafe sex it What contraception do you use? nurse at St John’s College does not bode well for sex? admits there is a massive Cambridge sexual health. 22% variance in students’ aware- To reiterate a now hack- 32% 35% Condom only ness about STIs; though neyed mantra from sexual 45% Other Not sexually active “some people are extremely health talks: the greatest dan- I don't always use it 0-1 times clued up, some people haven’t ger is ignorance. Richard Reid Pill plus condom 2-5 times got a clue.” With a national stresses that CUSU are “try- Pill only rise amongst young people of ing as hard as we can” to 34% 6+ times 6% chlamydia (an infection increase students’ awareness 26% 11% 3% borne without symptoms in of the potential dangers, by the majority of cases), the use promoting services like the make their own choices. It is living as we do in such a potential to spread like wild Clinic 1A may not be where of the condom as the primary GUM clinic at clear from the results of the closed community, sexual fire. The basic fact is that many people want to be this method of contraception for Addenbrooke’s and by giving Varsity survey that some peo- health and the transmittance though it may be awkward to Valentine’s Day but openness preventing STIs is vital. talks to freshers. But on such ple have the compacent atti- of STIs should be something bring up these issues with a about sexual health and However, there seems to be a a personal issue there are lim- tude that being young and that concerns everybody. potential partner, it will be a application of this knowledge worrying trend among its to what the University can healthy they cannot be at risk. People do swap partners and lot more embarrassing to is what will lead to long term Cambridge students, like enforce students to do, and at With 68% of Cambridge within the small collegiate confess to your Rag Blind physical, and fundamentally others nationally, to use the the end of the day people will students sexually active and community, STIs have the Date that you have herpes. romantic, happiness. Kate Is love the worst STI of them all? Ward sex and relationships. Next mania, depression, insomnia, stant state of love sickness. scribed, detached kind, with we control its uncertainty, and Monday is Valentine’s Day - and obsessive compulsive So love is mad, it’s irrational, strict social codes of behaviour in doing so its danger. In a the day in which the commer- behaviour, should be treated all-consuming and, lest we for- how can it be true love? For society driven by the commer- cialisation of love arrives, at alongside any other kind of get according to the love-sick- love is not only blind, it is cial and material, has love your door, with twelve red psychological condition. Love- ness report it’s potentially barking mad. As we drag it become the latest commodity? ur very own ‘30 second roses, pink champagne, and a sickness, according to Tallis, is physically dangerous (as your from the realm of madness to By taking love away from its sex survey’ flew its way barber-shop quartet singing so serious that it could have heart rate increases whenever raw and irrational roots, by Oaround the inboxes of Madness’ ‘It Must Be Love’. deep-seated and long-lasting you lay eyes on your beloved). Tallis warns of the making it another tick in the Cambridge this week. STIs But only a week before this repercussions for our society. But why does this kind of box of society’s increasing (sexually transmitted infec- auspicious event, there was The longer love is idealised, behaviour now have to be sani- idealsation of love, number of disorders surely we tions, for those of you danger- good news for singletons. Tallis argues, the more we set tised and analysed by psychol- but should we fear just ruin it. ously out of touch) were high According to one leading ourselves up for the kind of ogists? Love makes us lose the commercialisa- Yes, getting dumped is really on the agenda. 70% of you said psychologist, love is officially disappointment which will touch with rationality, reason shitty, but if love is reduced to you felt well-informed about bad for you. That’s right, you then create the aforementioned and as my mother once sympa- tion of love more? a Clinton’s card then surely it them and yet 11% of you use are better off without it. Frank symptoms. thetically noted ‘all common should be called something no contraception, and 44% of Tallis, author of Love Sick says So being in love makes you sense.’ But who says that is a the white box of the mundane else (like ‘luv’), a version that is those who do use contracep- that “for the vast majority of behave in a way which is irra- bad thing? Surely we should be all that is achieved is the loss of incomplete, and missing the tion are not protected against people who don’t suffer from tional (and akin to psychologi- open to all kinds of human the essence of love. vital ingredient. Love-sickness transmitting or indeed catch- mental illness, love-sickness is cal disorders), and being out of experience, without constantly Tallis warns of the idealisa- has existed for centuries, and ing STIs. the closest they come to suffer- love or searching for love also analysing everything from a tion of love, but should we fear will continue to do so. But But there is one question ing from a psychological con- makes you exhibit these symp- distance? the commercialisation of love sadly love itself looks like it is that the survey failed to dition”. He argues that the toms (depression, insomnia ‘All’s fair in love and war.’ more? For it is through this increasingly under threat. address: the question of love, symptoms, which include etc). Some of us exist in a con- But if love can only be of a pre- commercialisation of love that Applications now welcomed for the position of Varsity Business Manager

Deadline: 5pm Thursday 3rd March A full time salaried position: £14,500 to £20,000 p.a. The perfect opportunity for anyone wanting a year’s experience in the world of business, media management, advertising, marketing or media law Application details now available from Eve Williams, 11/12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge, CB2 1QA 01223 353 422 [email protected] 10 COMMENT February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk y Ian Blane

11-12 Trumpington Street Cambridge CB2 1QA 01223 353422

Editor Amol Rajan [email protected] Deputy Editors Henry Bowen James Dacre [email protected] Online Editor Sarah Marsh [email protected] Deputy Web Editor Adam Edelshain Arts Editor Jessica Holland [email protected] Chief Photos Editor Lucy Barwell [email protected] Photos Editor Albert Mockel- Von-Dem-Bussche Chief News Editors Chine Mbubaegbu Lucy Phillips [email protected] News Editors Amy Goodwin Oliver Tilley [email protected] Chief Analyst Sam Richardson [email protected] News Analysts Rachel Willcock Kate Ward Comment Editor Ned Beauman [email protected] Letters Editor Mungo Woodifield [email protected] “The professionalism and commitment of Cambridge’s Chinese community is to be heartily applauded” Features Editors Jenna Goldberg Sarah Sackman [email protected] Science Editors Krystyna Larkham Zoe Smeaton In Emmanuel Bar and in my [email protected] Interviews Editor Mungo Woodifield [email protected] Travel Editor Oliver Batham imagination, rave will never die [email protected] Theatre Editor Allegra Galvin [email protected] I’m not pining for a girl this Valentine’s Day; I’m mourning a lost age Music Editors Nicola Simpson Jon Swaine will lie to my children. I will tell drum‘n’bass nights in Emma bar, you Was Yaqoob them I was there in 1987 and 1994. Ned see people sweat and cheer just as if it [email protected] II will tell them I remember the rave I watched a girl with a was 4am in a field somewhere near the Satire Editors Jonny Sweet era. And when they’re a bit older, they’ll M25 in 1991. You’re telling me you Zack Simons realise the dates don’t match up. But belly like a snake Beauman don’t like the music? All right, shamble [email protected] they’ll work that out long after they dance until the sun back to your indie disco and pogo to Film Editor Emma Paterson work out that I didn’t really teach Elvis ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ for the mil- [email protected] to play guitar and that I wasn’t really the came up lionth time. But no NME-sponsored Literature Editor Benjamin King model for Batman, so they probably ‘New Rock Revolution’, or anything else [email protected] won’t be speaking to me anyway. they’ve tried to sell us over the last few Visual Arts Editor Johanna Z-Sharp I would like to think that all of you years, could ever be as thrilling and con- [email protected] wish as fervently as I do that you were but some raves used to attract thousands have had their revenge.) suming as the rave era. (Well, I don’t Fashion Editors Agata Belcen ten or fifteen years older so you could (the biggest ever, at the peak of the The Act was intended to put a stop think it could. Like I said, I wasn’t actu- Lucy Styles have been there for the rave era. But I Second Summer of Love in 1992, was a to a movement that had begun in 1987 ally there.) Raves, at least at the begin- [email protected] worry that, somehow, most of you love- techno festival at Castlemorton when a lot of influential DJs came back ning, were usually put on at a huge Sports Editors Adam Edelshain less drones just don’t really care. Common which drew nearly forty from holidays in Ibiza, bringing with financial loss, just for the love of it. Tom Burrell My only real memory of the rave era thousand people). John Major knew he them acid house records and an evan- Ben Myers is a poster on the wall of my big sister’s could get away with the sinister Act, gelical excitement about a drug called Post-Thatcherite [email protected] room protesting the Criminal Justice including its snide implicit judgement Ecstasy. (But, however many people Production Ifti Qurashi Act; but I think she was just trying to about the aesthetic value of a genera- assume otherwise, it’s just not the case tyrannies: that’s what Managers David Wyatt be cool, because she was barely old tion’s most beloved music, because the that you have to be on drugs to enjoy kids ought to learn [email protected] enough to be affected by it. Do you age-group who went to raves were also dance music - yes, the Internet only got about in schools Production Alastair Currie even know what the Criminal Justice the age-group least likely to vote. so popular because of porn, but you Sarah Keen Act was? Christ. When that Tory MP (Did rural folk fight for our right to don’t have to be hunting for porn to When was the last time you were part of Business Manager Eve Williams complained recently that nobody party? Of course not, they pushed for find the Internet useful). The scene something so genuine, so optimistic, so [email protected] knows any history any more, he was the law, in league with the tabloid press spread from warehouses in the trendier heedless of all the silly things that they Chief Sub-Editor Anna McIlreavy right, but about the wrong things. The and their ‘SICKO NOISE- districts of London to teeming muddy tell us to care about? name of Nelson’s ship at the Battle of WEAPON DRUG-HELL FILTH- fields all over Britain. Something could still come along - Trafalgar? Fuck off. Post-Thatcherite CARNIVAL’ headlines. But now we It’s been argued that without the something as good as rave. But it will Email the business manager to enquire tyrannies: that’s what kids ought to Criminal Justice Act, we wouldn’t have probably need a new form of music and about placing adverts. Letters for publica- learn in schools. The Criminal Justice I will tell my children I had the anti-globalisation movement, a new drug to go with it to emerge at tion should be emailed or posted to the Act passed in 1994, airlifted into was there in 1987 and because the Act turned the hippies mil- the same time. Or maybe the next editor. Parliament by black helicopter gun- itant. And it couldn’t kill off raves entire- incarnation of whatever immortal To get involved in a section, email the rele- ships. It altered almost every area of 1994. I will tell them I ly - shrunken ones still take place hedonistic spirit drove rave will be vant section editor listed above, and come criminal law, but it was most notorious remember the rave era around the country. Last summer I went some new form of behaviour which we along to a meeting. No experience neces- for banning any night-time gathering to a rave in a clearing in Trent Park, can’t even imagine. Perhaps it will have sary. of more than a hundred people to listen have Blair’s fox-hunting ban, they’re which are some woods at the top of the something to do with this growing Varsity is published by Varsity Productions to ‘amplified music... characterised by... saying that any such attempt to destroy Piccadilly Line in north London. The fashion for organising mobs and con- Ltd, and printed by Cambridge Evening repetitive beats’. a misunderstood subculture is a ‘crisis bass shook the leaves from the trees and certs in Tube carriages and department News. All copyright is the exclusive prop- In other words, it banned raves. Police for democracy’. And the funny thing is, I watched a girl with a belly like a snake stores. But until any of that happens, erty of Varsity Publications Ltd. No part of were also allowed to stop, search, and ex-ravers, by now, are exactly the kind dance until the sun came up. It was I’ll carry on being nostalgic for an era I this publication is to be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any disperse anyone who they thought was of Guardian-reading thirtysomethings great, but it was too small, and it made never even experienced. It’s a sad way form or by any means, without prior per- on the way to the rave or hanging that the ban is intended to please. Well, me wish even more that I’d been there to live, but it’s better than being satis- mission of the publisher. around waiting for a rave to start. A bad luck hunters. Democracy giveth back in the day. And I know I’m not fied with the vapid ringtone advertising hundred people might seem like a lot, and democracy taketh away. The ravers alone. For the last half hour of that passes for youth culture today. EDITORIAL www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 11

Letters [email protected] Letters may be edited for space or style

Discord behalf. Dare I venture to suggest that hat- Exam in Progress Selling sexual awareness trick hero Miles Away is a misnomer, an Dear Sirs, alias, a nom sportif? Perhaps an amendment Dear Sir, The headline has it: Sex still sells. But in spite of its prevalence in in a future issue might be suitable recom- almost all modern marketing strategies, and in student productions Perhaps I missed the sarcasm in pense for this error. Your report on the advances made in on and off stage, it remains true that student ignorance over sexual Charlotte Hodgkinson’s review of the simulating animal testing with gene health influences the behaviour of those who practise sex in Others (Music, Feb 4); maybe she very Your sincerely, microarrays (News, Feb 4)reveals an Cambridge to a dangerous degree. The result of this is a paranoia much liked the album. Maybe she did important leap forward in several fields, and anxiety that even a marginal increase in knowledge would dis- not, and of course, she is entitled to her Ben Morgan from product testing to drug development. place. And with knowledge comes that holy grail of all student opinion. It is, however, with her assertion However, it is imperative to recall that rig- unions: awareness. that everyone agrees with her that I must Image-conscious orous animal testing rules exist for a crucial ‘Awareness’ over matters of admissions policy, tuition fees, election take issue. This is a band “whose hands reason. Quite simply, the alternative to ani- campaigns, and student union activities continue to dominate the are worth placing your life in” said the Dear Sir, mal testing is human testing. Not to say headlines of a great many student newspapers. In theory, increasing NME, who the Guardian thought “risky, that biotech firms or pharmaceutical com- awareness means filling the public space with knowledge over issues thrilling and free” and according to the I write as a Dutchman and as Feyenoord panies would resort to capturing human of concern to the public. Our survey (Analysis, page 8) and Science Observer created “something extraordi- football supporter also. As much as I guinea pigs. But, if animal rights activists section (page 16) is designed to do precisely this. nary. My friends and I like them too. So enjoyed the articles concerning the lack of have their way, the lack of animal toxicity But this newspaper is conscious that, in practice, increasing aware- Miss Hodgkinson is entitled to her opin- support for parent students within trials will simply result in replacing the ness amongst students often amounts to no more than encouraging ion, but I’d be grateful if she would refrain Cambridge, I felt your picture on page 10 to risks to animals with risks to human users. apathy, because the danger with such orchestrated campaigns is that from tarring the rest of us with her taste- be an unfair representation of my country they can make awareness a dirty word. Freshers are bombarded with less brush. and my football club. I understand it is in Now, I don’t know about SPEAC but information campaigns upon arrival; the CUSU offices swim in the interests of newspapers to be provoca- being a human myself I would be fervently leaflets commissioned by CUSU staff; college bars are awash with Yours sincerely, tive, but surely printing the image of a child against this. It is fortuitious though that pamphlets designed to ‘say what others don’t dare to’. Such a deluge swearing in such a way is going too far? i developments in technology have resulted has two principal consequences: firstly, to desensitise students to the Jamie Corby (Caius) think that perhaps your pictures editor is a in the possibility of an alternative to the very worthwhile information carried in those pamphlets; secondly, to Sparta Rotterdam fan! practice of product testing on animals. But make the task of those trying to increase awareness (such as this edi- to simply exclaim that such technoloy rele- torial team) significantly more difficult. Dramatic irony Yours sincerely, gates animal testing to the scientist’s closet But this is not to do any discredit to the theory, and those who look is short-sighted. to implement it. Sympathy, then, for Richard Reid, the proficient Dear Sir, Bart Van den Haauwe Welfare and Graduates Officer for CUSU, who has worked diligent- Animal trials are run for much more ly to combat student ignorance and spread information. The servic- Has Yvonne McDevitt (Arts, Feb 4) con- than checking whether new drugs are toxic, es CUSU provide ought not to be dismissed lightly: free pregnancy sidered undertaking a one-woman-show? It Praiseworthy Priestess in many cases animal trials can play an tests, in particular, are a service insufficient numbers of students really is all in the way she tells 'em. From, integral role in the development of these know about. In so far as it is a function of newspapers to add weight “Neil Bartlett, do you you know who he is? Dear Sir, Madam or anything of your drugs in the first place. Gene microarray to the project of increasing awareness, but to do so through a differ- He should be given a throne to sit upon...” choosing, technology is unlikely to diminish the need ent medium, it is to be hoped that the concerns raised in this publi- to the inspired “Who is the best director for animal testing in drug development cation will help Reid and his colleagues achieve their aims. working today? The Russian, Vassiliev” Amidst all the doom and gloom of mod- because, as any animal rights activist will (Oh, that Vassiliev! not of the Lincolnshire ern life it is comforting to know that there readily reveal, animals are a lot more than Vassilievs then?). I was entranced by her exists at least one island of sanity, tolerance just DNA. Medical advances in any num- amazing talent for self parody - a true case and respect in this world. I refer to the won- ber of degenerative and terminal illnesses Buying Kilroy-Silk’s message of ‘New life’ imitating art. Long may she derful story of the parish priestess (News, are still, and will for the forseeable future, The link between Robert Kilroy-Silk and Cambridge might enunciate! Feb 4) revealing her true past and receiving be dependent on animal testing. seem tenuous at best. He is moving to a nearby village to live nothing but unanimous support from her with a travelling community, as part of a Reality TV show to be Yours sincerely, colleagues, parishioners and wider commu- Yours, shown on Channel 4. nity. Disappointingly though, despite this But Kilroy-Silk is a modern master of courting the camera. He D. Marusza. backing, certain irresponsible segments of C. Y. Barnard will certainly arouse publicity around both the wider Cambridge the national press cannot help but scan- ...... area and the town centre, which he is likely to visit, especially if dalise and ultimately denigrate this brave ‘travelling’. When this process is initiated in a few weeks’ time, A Question of Sport woman. I am glad to see that Varsity treat- Correction there is a question that the students of this town must ask them- ed the story with such professionalism. selves, and this is it: should he be taken seriously? Archie Bland Dear Sir, We failed to credit the front page (Features, page 12) makes it clear that, at present, not many jour- Sincerely yours, image last week. The photograph was nalists really do so. But as he goes on to explain, the rise of Kilroy- Has it escaped your notice that in last taken by Phil Wigglesworth. We apolo- Silk from failed television presenter to caricatured political rascal is week’s sports section, there appears to F. W. Roostoy gise for the error. symptomatic of a wider degeneration in our public life - and this is have been a considerable error on your a degeneration that Cambridge must not succumb to. It is a degen- eration manifested most vividly in the silencing of genuine politi- cal debate in our country. What passes for public life is increasing- ly filled with private agendas, or personality trials; Kilroy-Silk is precisely the sort of politician our current climate calls for, all smiles and tan, but little substance. Those in the public sphere who have dismissed Kilroy-Silk as no more than a publicity-craving extremist have generally provided him with that very thing he requires to sustain his political ambition: vac- uous publicity. There has been no serious interrogation of his ideas, no honest appraisal of the intellectual ground on which he skips; but, quite to the contrary, there has been plenty of dumbing down, and unhelpful bashing. If he should consider it necessary to air his ideol- ogy in this town, this newspaper will scrutinise the basis of that ideol- ogy ruthlessly - a very different kind of publicity. Similarly, Cambridge City Council and CUSU will be required over the course of the next few months to monitor their own reaction to him, and the manner of that reaction will say a very great deal about the health of those two institutions. It will be to their mutual discredit if they pan- der to the current, censorious climate; but if they can confront his arguments face on and show them to be irrational, it will be more than just the citizens of nearby Cottenham that have reason to be thankful.

Men of all seasons Cricket is the greatest sport. It is unique amongst the games devised by lower-upper-middle class men of the West for afternoon amusement in its capacity to combine intellectual stamina with artistic beauty. It shares with all sports the capacity to produce men of glory; but perhaps it differs from other sports in consistently producing polymaths as skilled physically as they are adept intellectually. Sycophancy is an ugly thing, but it seems right and proper to recognise that in Adrian Shankar Cambridge has been witness to an exceptional talent, who fits such a description. His success is to Cambridge and England’s benefit. 12 FEATURES February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk The Grand Narrative and the Big Tent Archie Bland wonders whether the future of British politics is as orange as Kilroy-Silk

or all the thundering rhet- dismiss Veritas out of hand: like oric, the press pack simply it or not, plenty of people think Who We Trust Fisn’t taking Robert Kilroy- Kilroy has a point on the EU, and Silk seriously. He’s not surprised, immigration, and lies, and he’s of course; since the outcry over certainly more telegenic than Journalists the Sunday Express article, he’s UKIP’s cravate-wearing buf- learned a thing or two about how foons. Standing at the podium at the media operates – not that he the press conference with ador- Politicians didn’t already have a pretty ing followers gazing at him and shrewd idea. But he is, under- hanging on his every word – do standably, saddened, because these look like patsies to you? Person on the Street knowing something’s inevitable Are you patsies, he demands? Journalists doesn’t make it any less frustrat- No! the not-patsies respond, as Politicians ing, and all he wants is for them one – he does look every inch the Police Person on the Street to tell the truth: “I know you airbrushed, coiffeured, and – yes Police come with your agenda. I under- – fake-tanned modern politician. Judges

Judges stand your agenda. I know about It’s all an awfully long way Professors that, remember. I’ve been around from Knowlesley North, the Occupation Teachers a long time.” There is a Labour seat which Kilroy-Silk Doctors moment’s pause as he surveys the occupied back in 1986. That was Professors throng. the year his life (and, incidental- “What you have to under- ly, the future of the right-wing stand,” he ominously adds, “is shoestring of British politics) Teachers that we reach beyond you.” veered in a different direction, when he stood down from the So much for constituency he had held since Doctors 1974. Kilroy decided television Kilroy-Silk, perhaps. was a better gig – “I am not into A sad figure trying news or current affairs,” he said at 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 to find the best way the time: “I am into entertain- Percentage of People Surveyed ment. That is my business.” of maintaining fame (Some would say that remains A telling tale; but the current trend of disengagement is subtly - but significantly - removed from the popular conception of voter ‘apathy’ despite the rapid his policy now.) His colleagues were not best pleased. descent of an orange-tinted new research published on The winner was on an anti-immi- tives, though, we still haven’t an descent of an They don’t like him much twilight; a mildly-racist-call-a- Tuesday (by MORI) suggested gration ticket, incidentally. explanation for why these odd orange-tinted now, either; but it’s safe to say spade-a-spade-some-of-my- that 81% of young people say This is, perhaps, evidence of little parties keep cropping up. twilight that the likes of Kilroy-Silk are best-friends-are-limb-amputa- they feel strongly about political one universal trend in modern What’s so peculiar about them rather more worrying to tors-the-European- issues. So it isn’t all apathy: it’s politics: anti-politics. There are is how strong the resemblances Another pause while the Michael Howard than Tony Commissioners-want-to- disengagement. two versions: anti-politics from are: you’d struggle to fit a ciga- attendant hacks take this in. Blair. The Tories are being straighten-our-bananas quiver- When asked for an explana- the inside, which is when George rette paper between UKIP, And, a little later, it comes - squeezed from both sides, and ing mass of clichés. Veritas, tion of this mysterious discon- Bush or Tony Blair or Michael Veritas and the English the inevitable question, on the it doesn’t give them much barring a very rapid infusion of nection, John Harris, author of Howard say that there’s too Democrats, and even the New lips of every follower of room for manoeuvre. The key some people who aren’t Their So now who do we vote for?, points much adversarial rowing for the Party follows a broadly conser- Britain’s orangest politico: “Is question, according to one Glorious Leader, look destined to an end to the political tribal- sake of point scoring, and their vative agenda, for all its talk of your tan Veritas?” Guardian journalist who to remain principally a cheer- ism of previous generations: ‘It administration will be one which consensus-building polls. Their When Robert Kilroy-Silk attended the Veritas launch, is leading operation. But the used to be either of the main par- quarry owning benefactor and launched his new party last week, “whether they’re just a joke, or wider question of the emer- ties could say, given three facts The big tent has chairman, Robert Durward, it is safe to say that the attendant whether they’re slightly gence of a pick-your-own polit- [about your lifestyle], whether rejects this interpretation, call- members of the press were not scary… I lean towards the lat- ical category is a knottier one. you would vote for them or not. eliminated the ing the labels of left and right suitably impressed. But even if ter.” But, he adds, “the evi- There are 276 parties listed That’s not true any more: you grand narrative, and ‘virtually useless to describe the the raft of policies (which, so far, dence of his personality is that with the Electoral Commission, ain’t gonna get the voters by deal- now politics is more much more complex issues of consists of: “We have a mass his ego will get in the way of and most of them can be count- ing in the old rhetoric of, say, today,’ and blaming it on ‘lazy immigration policy in this coun- doing anything practical.” ed out as A Bit Crazeee, like the trade unions versus bosses.’ The an argument over journalism’. (Politicians, or try! It’s out of control!” And, So much for Kilroy-Silk, per- Church of the Militant Elvis big tent has eliminated the grand who can micro- would-be politicians, talk a lot “They lie all the time! They are haps. A sad figure trying to Party, or properly mental, like the narrative, and now politics is about lazy journalism, just like still lying today!”) rather lacks find the best way of maintain- Telepathic Partnership. more an argument over who can manage the best English people complain about breadth, it would be foolish to ing fame despite the rapid Somewhere in the middle is the micro-manage the best than it is than it is a great the weather when they leave potentially troublesome group, a great debate over competing debate over their umbrella at home.) just earnest enough not to get visions of a better future. Harris Slack hacks or no, what’s clear WHO THEY ARE & WHAT THEY WANT laughed at, and just articulate remembers a meeting with Mark competing visions is that the people most engaged enough not to get sectioned. Oaten, Lib Dem MP for of a better society by the new parties are… well, UKIP (United Kingdom Independence Party) Kilroy-Silk, it is widely Winchester, in the course of themselves. It’s simple, really: rumoured, tried to link up with research for his book: ‘he said, listens to ideas from all across the mainly, they’re people who like • They don’t like the EU, crime or political correctness two such parties before founding basically, you’ll find the three spectrum, and don’t really mean being in charge of stuff. IT’S • Joan Collins, Geoffrey Boycott & Max Clifford will be voting for his own: the New Party, and the main parties agree on a lot of it; and there’s the outsider ver- TIME FOR CHANGE, the them English Democrats. The New things now – and I said, did I sion, which is when Charles New Party website blares; WE Party claim to be all about poli- miss a meeting? I found that Kennedy or UKIP’s Roger WANT OUR COUNTRY New Party tics by consensus, and have a pol- chilling, to be frank.’ Knapman, or George Galloway BACK, UKIP counters. icy raft driven principally by And that’s where a new politi- (leader of the Respect Coalition, PUTTING ENGLAND •They want less tax, less inteference and a lot less immigration opinion polls; the English cal force might find a foothold. which is like a left wing UKIP, FIRST, leer the English • Ex-ICI chairman Sir John Harvey-Jones will be voting for them Democrat hook is a devolved The big tent might be peaceful, only fewer blazers), or Robert Democrats. None of this is any English parliament with the but it leaves gaps at the edges: the Kilroy-Silk, says, ‘this left-right more meaningless than FOR- English Democrats same powers as the Scottish ver- thing that will stir voters into thing is nonsense’, or ‘everyone in WARD NOT BACK, Alastair sion. Both are anti-European action, according to the Electoral Westminster’s the same’, or ‘the Campbell’s slogan for the forth- • They want a devolved English government, more immigration con- and anti-asylum seekers, but that Commission’s Gemma Crosland, politicians are out of touch, and coming election; but Labour has trol and are anti-EU should be taken as read. is an effort to ‘try to make people we’re the real voice of the people.’ the significant advantage of • They won 20% of the vote in Basildon in the last election Whilst neither has caught the connect the issues they feel pas- And they don’t mean it either. In already being in charge. public imagination yet, there’s sionate about with voting. People the end, as Harris says, ‘all indus- These are not, ultimately, the Respect evidence to suggest that, if you want politicians to come from the trial societies are built on the strikingly original taglines of were trying to recruit supporters same backgrounds as them, to same faultline – the split between movements with a new vision of • They’re anti-war, anti-privatisation and pro-public services for a new ideology, now would- have led the same kinds of lives as individualism and collectivism. how the world should work. If • Founded by George Galloway. They proposed a £1 flat rate fare for n’t be such a bad time to be try- they lead.’ Not for nothing did Soon enough normal service will they were, one of them would the London Underground ing. Recent ICM research ITV recently run Vote For Me, be resumed.’ probably be in government by shows that the proportion of which was widely known as If Gordon Brown’s likely now. As it is, they’ll have to set- Veritas people who identify with a par- Politics Idol: things are getting (though by no means certain) tle for the occasional glorious ticular party has dropped from weird when we trust TV to ascent to the Prime press conference; and, better still, • Hate immigration 80% in 1964 to around 50% in choose our legislators more than Ministership will pull things a the burning, certain knowledge • Love Truth late 2003. On the other hand, we trust the democratic process. little more into the old perspec- that they’re right. COMMENT www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 13

The fidget-zones enquiry P a r k e r

any necessary structural repairs .net being carried out by friendly local e It’s not been a good week for Jon handymen, we all knew where we imag national Labour politicians in stood. Eggs was eggs, Britain was Cambridge. When former Swaine Great and children were to be Northern Ireland Secretary Mo seen and not heard, for fear of a Mowlam came to talk to a stu- clipped ear. dent society here in Cambridge But in this terrifying, glob- she cut a worryingly frail figure, alised age of genetically-modified so it wasn’t a surprise when one o, I’m telling you – fruit that may or may not cause student offered to help her to her global warming is all cancer, nanotechnology that car. More unexpected was the ‘Njust a myth perpetuat- might well consume all civilisa- fact that the reply that the stu- ed by those damn environmental tion if we make it a bit too clever dent received to this polite offer lobby bastards,’ was the first thing and ever-shrinking mobile was none other than Mo telling anyone ever said to me in phones that – as far as I under- her to “fuck off ”! Cambridge. ‘Trust me – I’m stand – will fry our brains, cause doing Natural Sciences,’ contin- several deep-vein thromboses “More unexpected ued the voice of someone I was and make us fall out of the sky if swiftly realising would be my we use them for too long on was the fact that the neighbour for an entire year. ‘It’s planes, as well as aforementioned reply that the stu- the sun – it’s getting hotter. Oh, disagreement on what exactly has dent received to this you’re studying Politics, you say? burnt a big hole in our ozone Blair’s such a fascist. Anyway, I’ll layer, science has simply lost the polite offer was none always vote Tory.’ Somehow reassuring certainty it once had. other than Mo telling managing to talk myself back off Take a pressing social malaise: my own window ledge while he obesity. Worldwide, 300 million her to “fuck off”!” made the tea, I resolved to devote are estimated to be affected by Obesity is now considered a global health concern; exercise is to become a much bigger part of our diet my time at this esteemed institu- the problem, which is beginning So who better to rectify the tion to prove him wrong. Alas, to replace malnutrition and infec- in only gym knickers and plim- measured every half-second, 24 even trivial example. But on a reputation of politicians than tious diseases as the most signifi- soles. Correspondingly, it’s sug- hours a day for ten days. larger scale, it is surely a similar American hero Rudy Giuliani In the olden days cant contributor to global ill gested that we generally eat slight- Scientists found that on average, contemporary willingness to cry KBE, praised for his leadership everyone was health. Diet and weight loss pro- ly too much, and should instead their obese patients sat still for wolf, despite highly questionable of New York at the time of the grams have never been more nec- eat less. Come on – even roughly 150 minutes more per provenance, over the possible or September 11th attacks? Except grubby, restless essary, popular or profitable. McDonald’s have made the effort, day than their lean subjects, probable risks we face in so many that when Union Senior Officer and itchy. There are Atkins-devouts, South taking some responsibility and meaning they burned about 350 aspects of our everyday lives – Adam Swersky spoke to his PA Beachers, Good Carbs, Bad expanding their product range to fewer calories a day. ‘If we can from tomatoes to terrorist threats about a potential visit to having stuck at it for at least an Carbs; even Marjorie Dawes’ pre- those renowned dieters’ essentials, revert to general [fidgeting] levels – that merely serve to confuse Cambridge he was told that hour – even using resources other ferred Dust. Myriad prescription chocolate muffins. Brilliant. of fifty years ago, we have the and worry everyone into living Guiliani wouldn’t address the than Google – it pains me to say drugs are available; possibly-fatal But, according to research potential to reverse our obesity,’ like jittering wrecks, and provide students here without a fee of that the sheer cluelessness of our gastric bypasses are readily published this week by Mayo (!) they said, presumably referring to a reservoir of ridiculousness for $200,000. The Union- which worthless age has thwarted me; snapped up and reality television Clinic, Minneapolis, we are all the restlessness and itching rhetorically-sensational Daily speakers normally address for apparently we’re not too certain programs are produced featuring fundamentally mistaken; the real caused by everyone being that bit Mail front pages for every slow free - politely declined the offer. of much at all any more. tearful, obsese C-List celebrities problem lies not in over-con- grubbier in the olden days. news day in the following six Back in the days when at 14 being shouted at by drill ser- sumption or even lack of strenu- I really would like to know months. Perhaps if every scientist Bobby Friedman you could - nay, were expected to geants called Hank.Truly, it is the ous exercise. That would be far who these ‘scientists’ think they’re with something to say just Anything we should know? - leave your front door open crisis of our generation. too straightforward; it’s actually trying to fool. Burning 350 calo- stopped, counted to ten and Email: [email protected] when heading out for an after- Many have pontificated on the that we’re just not fidgeting ries from our daily fidgets? Have asked themselves, ‘Am I really noon kick-around, pack of primary causes behind the enough these days. In tests forc- they ever been to a gym, ran flat- sure that what I’m about to Woodbines and swift half of IPA predicament. Perhaps it can be ing ten ‘mildly obese’ and ten out for three hours on Alpine- announce isn’t utterly ridiculous?’ with the chaps in the park attributed to our lack of sufficient ‘lean’ people to wear special worthy inclines, only to be we could calm down long Broadside (jumpers for goalposts optional), exercise; after all, playing fields are underwear made with ‘technolo- informed by the heartless screen enough to sort out a few things. and return to find your house not constantly being sold off to gy developed for fighter-jet con- that they’ve done just enough Then again, all that nervous only distinctly un-burgled, but Capitalism, and we’re no longer trol panels’ (obviously), subjects’ work to burn off two raisins? energy does make for exceeding- Before attending King’s Cellar thoroughly cleaned and having made to run seven miles to school postures and movements were This may indeed be a minor, ly good fidget-fuel. and its inaugural hip-hop sweat fest for a mere hour or two last week, I unwittingly added my name to a contact list, blithely unaware of the carnage which would ensue. For days now, I have Christians aren’t scary pod people been receiving asinine ‘reply-to- all’ irrelevancies from the (rough- Beatitude “blessed are the and angst-ridden adolescent contrary perhaps, to common tory Christian in college, and ly) 360 strong mailing group as Mary peacemakers” here (well, actu- determined to resist my moth- belief, it doesn’t contribute to so I’m certainly not preaching they attempt to anchor the rogue ally, yes I do, but that’s beside er’s desperate attempts for me male impotence). here – I’m as distracted by list and compel the attention of the point), but why exactly are to attend mass. (It amazing Being seen at a CICCU mis- nights of drinking, smoking us unfortunate souls who have to Bowers we all so wary of Christians? how many different paralysing sion talk seems almost as damag- (ex- if you’re interested) and suffer, among other sparkling After all, they do not (as far as illnesses one can contract in ing to the reputation as being playing rock ‘n’ roll as the next witticisms, a 10 e-mail joke about anyone has been able to prove) the space of a Sunday after- seen drinking alcopops in Coco’s person. It doesn’t make me a lost biro. How terribly amusing. put arsenic in the doughnuts noon). From my experience I (I won’t implicate anyone). debauched, (the closest I get The most striking thing about they give away at Friday can tell you that i) there’s no Though we refuse to take any to a drug high is drinking this satirical exercise (started by t’s February and thus lunchtime talks, they don’t conspiracy, ii) secret indoctri- time out from our busy biscuit- three cups of tea in a row) but my mate, who understandably there are two seemingly advocate a death-by-pancake- nation is harder than you eating Neighbours-watching essay some days do make me a teen- riled a few people with the com- harmless objects that are party war strategy. think and iii) Sunday after- crisis schedules, it’s amazing how sy bit jealous of those ment ‘King’s are wankers’), is its I stupidity. No-one genuinely a) omnipresent and b) cause Pancakes, after all, will not many of us are willing to pay £4 Christians who do appear to more resentment and bitter implant their persuasions into Is there a death- for an evening in the company of be having fun without the thinks any of this is funny, while catfighting than the Spice our brains (if it did, surely by-pancake- a total stranger, who may be sad, dark shadows under their eyes. those limp attempts to placate Girls’ last days on tour. The every supervision we go to boring, mentally deranged, or all And they do genuinely appear and compel the list to ‘just get first: that venerable tradition would include mandatory party war strategy? of the above, in the unlikely hope to be happy. Am I the only along’ and ‘stop sending e-mails’ the Valentine’s Day card. The munchies. I have to tell you, – and let’s face it, it’s in the back one who wonders? Really? is even more fatuous in two ways: second: the green CICCU mine never do). Christians are noon feigned illness leaves you of all our minds – of finding true I’m not expecting any firstly in that, by sending an e- mission hoodie. Don’t pretend not offensive (except with less chance of getting love. I hope your RAG blind date Valentines this year (though mail they are perpetuating the you haven’t seen them. Christian Rock, an aural pro- that sick-note for Monday was as interesting. any contributions, my pigeon- problem to an equal degree, and They’re in every faculty fanity almost in line with Will morning PE. Yet the idea of sitting in a hole’s on the far wall in secondly, these forays have now library, every dining hall, Young’s cover version of ‘Hey I’m growing more and more room for half an hour and per- Queens’ College Porter’s become fodder for fresh pastiche. every aisle of Sainsbury’s. Not Ya’). So what are we all so convinced that we never do haps understanding what it is Lodge). At the moment, its One could muse interestedly on only are the Christian Union defensive about? grow out of Sunday-itis. Some that makes a large minority of empty. A bleary-eyed student the democratic principles that the uniformed, they’re armed I can tell you the story from of us steer clear of the University tick – and why who has just stumbled out of list explores, but I do not. It is (with mini-Gospels), danger- both sides. As an ex-Christian Christians/Hindus/Muslims there are as many churches in bed and past the newly-post- annoying, not least because some ous (with their Alpha Youth Worker (that’s an ex- with the ‘its fine for them but Cambridge as pubs - is utterly ed Mission poster on the col- idiot didn’t blind carbon copy it Courses) and they’re out to Youth Worker, mind, not an not for me’ tack, as if the abhorrent/terrifying/pathetic lege noticeboard. “Bloody to start with. So stop it. All of you get us. Apparently. ex-Christian) I’ve been both whole thing was an contagious (delete as applicable). Christians” he mumbles, “Jee- (hopefully an entreaty in print I don’t mean to reinforce the over-enthusiastic proselytiser as last term’s mumps (though I’m not the most participa- sus”. Pancakes, anyone? will have a fresh effect). /guide /stage /music /the rest

FRIDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom The Shape of Things CLARE C.R.Y.P.T.I.C. Breakbeat SUPPER 19:30 Cambridge University Jewish Society 19:45 Arts Theatre The Comedy of Errors QUEENS’ Bronx Booty Party RnB and hip hop @ The Student Centre,Thompsons Lane 19:45 ADC Wetmarsh College or Dr Middlebottom LIFE Boogienight 70s and 80s music TALK 19:30 Direction 2005:The Feast of God 11 19:30 New Court Thtre, Christ’s Illyria Circus UNION Valentines Day Bop @ St Andrew the Great Church 21:30 Corpus Christi Playroom Adult Child/Dead Child FEZ Funk Star Quality funk & break beat 23:00 ADC Blown away under Circumstances CAFE AFRIKAAfrocubism Cuban rumba and salsa SATURDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom The Shape of Things JUNCTION Warning Drum n Bass TALK 19:30 Direction 2005:The Rejection of God 14:30 Arts Theatre The Comedy of Errors LIFE The Big Party Dance, 60’s and club classics @ St Andrew the Great Church 19:45 Arts Theatre The Comedy of Errors QUEENS Glitter 60s and 70s 12 19:45 ADC Wetmarsh College or Dr Middlebottom FEZ Eternal Soulful American House 19:30 New Court Thtre, Christ’s Illyria Circus MAN ON THE MOONIndieSoc in aid of Tsunami Relieft 21:30 Corpus Christi Playroom Adult Child/Dead Child 23:00 ADC Blown away under Circumstances 19:45 ADC An evening of monologues LIFE The Sunday Roast Suporting CU Hockey Club CLASSICAL 13:15 Fitzwilliam Promenade Concert SUNDAY 13 FEZ Room for XPosure Open mic for local talent FILM 20:30&22:30 Christ’s Hero FILM 19:00 & 22:00 Robinson A Clockwork Comedy

19:45 Union The Cardinal Club JUNCTION Flamenco Classes Takes you to the heart of Seville MONDAY14 LIFE Live is Life International student night FEZ Fat Poppadaddys Funky and soulful sounds

TUESDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom Variety Week FILM 20:00 Corpus 8 1/2 19:30 Fitz Hall, Queens’ Apocalypse: The Musical LIFE Unique CUSU’s lesbigay night 15 19:30 Pembroke New Cellars Six Degrees of Separation BALLARE Top Banana CUSU ents flagship night 19:45 Arts Theatre Me and my girl FEZ Ebonics Mix of hip hop, dancehall, reggae 19:45 ADC Volpone PONANA Dynamo d’n’b With Hospital’s Logistics and 19:00 CC Playroom Secrets every smart traveller should know Commix playing 11:00 ADC Footlights Smoker WEDNESDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom Variety Week EVENT 20:00 The Cow 19:30 Fitz Hall, Queens’ Apocalypse:The Musical BALLARE Rumboogie Godfather of Cambridge nights CUJS present Booze for Jews 16 19:30 Pembroke New Cellars Six Degrees of Separation FEZ Mi Casa Tu Casa International student night FILM 19:30&22:00 Robinson Top Gun 19:45 Arts Theatre Me and my girl 19:45 ADC Volpone 19:00 CC Playroom Secrets every smart traveller should know 22:30 Fitz Hall,Queens’ Abigail’s Party 23:00 ADC The Fire Raisers THURSDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom Variety Week 19:30 Fitz Hall, Queens’ Apocalypse:The Musical COCO Urbanite CUSU’s night of hip hop & rnb 19:30 Pembroke New Cellars Six Degrees of Separation FEZ Wild Style Award winning night of hip hop 17 19:45 Arts Theatre Me and my girl LIFE Lady Penelopes RnB and hip hop 19:45 ADC Volpone 19:00 CC Playroom Secrets every smart traveller should know 22:30 Fitz Hall,Queens’ Abigail’s Party 23:00 ADC The Fire Raisers listings powered by 19:30 Howard Building,Downing Scouse:The Musical www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 LISTINGS 15

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Jesus College May Ball JUDITH E WILSON Monday 20th June 2005 DRAMA STUDIO, SCIENCE,ENGINEERING & -XANADU- Faculty of English TECHNOLOGY Auditions Thursday 17th Feb 2-6pm DIRECTORS ON Undergraduate & Postgraduate Students Saturday 19th Feb 3-7pm SHAKESPEARE Want to find out more about science after your Kathryn Hunter degree? Want to talk to a professional scientist We are looking for a wide on PERICLES about course options, professional bodies and variety of entertainers to qualifications or other aspects of life as a scien- amaze guests at one of 6pm WEDNESDAY Cambridge’s biggest balls. tist? If so, MentorNet might be for you. The 16th FEBRUARY For more info. please con- University of Cambridge is in its third year of par- tact THEATRE SPORTS with ticipation in this e-mentoring programme, and as mayball- KEN CAMPBELL students here you can sign up for one-on-one men- [email protected] speci- toring. Contact [email protected] for more fying -type of act -preferred 8pm WEDNESDAY

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Great tasting, EDINBURGH FESTIVAL great value CAMBRIDGE FOOTLIGHTS 2005 opens auditions for the Solve your accommoda- Harry Porter Prize win- tion problems by calling pizza for ning show, Evelyn Carole Smith/Anne Budden; Auctioneer this Goring This week Saturday and Sunday on 01620 810 620 delivery from 12:00 till 3:00pm in email address: Fri 11th: Valentines Bop the Angevin Room, Sat 12th: Varsity Fencing [email protected] Tues 15: Mayors Comes to town Queens'. The prize, or write to Festival Flats, and collection Wed 16th: Immigration Debate awarded to the funniest 3 Linkylea Cottages, student comedy play, Gifford, East Lothian, was awarded this year EH41 4PE Dominos, Cambridge: 01223 355155 by Bill Oddie, hilarious 27 Hills Road, Cambridge, CB2 1NW ornothologist. www.festivalflats.net 16 SCIENCE February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk The Morning After the Night Before Zoe Smeaton considers how women could cope with the consequences he manifest controversy of The support of the Law and Officers can be approached as pregnancy termination wide availability of operations, well as the University was again highlighted to though, does not ease the guilt Counselling Service (though

T oe Smeaton us all by the recent reports that associated with having a termina- students are put on a waiting CUSU may be subject to legal tion, and religious beliefs or list here for treatment). In a Z action from The Cambridge morals often make it an impossi- Varsity survey this week, University Pro-Life Society. ble option. The Government’s though, only 11% of With the student population publicly viewable data on abor- Cambridge students asked told embodying keen supporters of tion rates shows, though, that in me that they would turn to their both organisations, the progress 2002 there were 175,600 legal College Nurse/Welfare Officer of these issues is clearly impor- abortions in the UK, with 30.2 for support in an unplanned tant to many of us. abortions per 1000 women aged pregnancy, possibly a symptom This isn’t the first time abor- 20-24: hardly the profile of a of what Richard thinks is a gen- tion has been mentioned in rarely-performed process. eral problem of students “not 2005’s press though. Mike However, the choice to have an realising that’s what a College Leigh’s Vera Drake (relating the abortion does not necessarily Nurse is there for”. story of Vera, a back-street indicate a lack of remorse, and Richard also mentioned the London abortionist in the women who do undergo the pro- CUSU phone-line Beeline 1950s) has received much cedure are warned that they are (which offers confidential sup- media attention to add to its 3 likely to find it highly distressing. port for students regarding preg- Oscar Nominations. The film nancy issues) saying “certainly portrays Vera as a kindly Beeline offers con- one thing we would like to do is woman and it is striking that fidential support to promote Beeline as a source of inducing abortions seems to her support as it offers a valuable quite simply a routine; a way to for students service – I think a lot of the prob- “help out” girls in trouble. With the “morning after pill” lem is lack of awareness of what it Free pregnancy tests from CUSU are distributed in large numbers to Cambridge students Nowadays the legality of abor- now obtainable without so much is and what it can offer”. tions rests upon this “helping- as a trip to the Doctor’s, abortion The options for unexpectedly out” factor - pregnancy termina- rates are expected to fall though. pregnant women are perhaps But was it Love that was in the air? tions are authorized so long as a Contrary to popular belief this more appealing than Vera condition such as that “continua- emergency contraceptive method Drake’s use of soapy water to oping for chemistry pill showed no preference. It is believed that selecting a tion of the pregnancy would does not cause abortions, but induce abortions, but the between you and a These results were then repli- mate with a different MHC involve risk to the physical or instead the tablets contain the dilemma faced by many women HValentine this year? It cated in an isolated North type to oneself increases the mental health of the pregnant same hormone types as proges- remains the same even now. seems you could do worse than American population known as range of pathogens that off- woman greater than that posed if terone-only contraceptive pills 89% of students included in the burrowing your nose in their the Hutterites where scientists springs’ immune systems will be it were terminated” is satisfied. and act to prevent ovulation or Varsity survey said they would armpit. Little known experi- examined the MHC status of a able to recognize and clear. Pregnancies can only be termi- stop a fertilised egg from feel “anxious or stressed” if they ments with mice and humans group of married couples; the Scientists now hope to nated legally up to 24 weeks after implanting into the uterus lining. discovered they had become show that a ubiquitous protein partners more often than not extend the work using an “elec- conception, either through the Emergency contraceptive pills pregnant – emotions which are of the immune system, the had differing MHC types. tronic nose” to gather more NHS, or private companies such can be collected from Family good for neither women or Major Histocompatibility Furthermore, American sci- data, including a study compar- as The British Pregnancy Planning Clinics, and certain their babies if they continue the Complex (MHC), may act as entists have showed that a male ing divorcees with couples that Advisory Service. The processes pharmacists sell them subject to a pregnancy. Yet these reactions an important criterion in mate mouse in a maze when present- remained married to see if the become more complicated after consultation with a member of are understandable given the selection by influencing our ed with two females would be influence of MHC-dependent 12 weeks, but in general there are staff, though prices in shops vary problem: pregnancy termina- bodily odours. more likely to mate with the odours is a factor there. two alternatives. Medically (Cambridge Boots charge £24). tions, whilst a relatively safe Scientists asked a group of mouse with a different type of The authors of one of the induced abortions (sometimes Despite the apparent ease of option now, bring with them male students to wear the same MHC to themselves. In mice papers believe that nowadays called the abortion pill) use drugs access to emergency contracep- guilt that may never disappear, T-shirt (without taking a wash) urine, different MHC types our personal odour may be dis- to cause an effective miscarriage - tion, unplanned pregnancy wor- but as this newspaper reported for a number of days. Once the produced different odours. guised by those found in per- prostaglandin is administered ries are still rife in Cambridge, a last week, being a parent at T-shirts had become suitably There may be a reason for all fumes, shampoos and deodor- (often with other drugs) to loosen problem Richard Reid (CUSU Cambridge is unlikely to be pungent, they asked female stu- this: MHC binds to parts of ants and, thereby, reduce its the cervix and initiate uterine Welfare and Graduates Officer) easy. The cost of childcare and dents which T-shirt they pre- pathogens, such as bacteria and influence. So maybe this contractions. Some women says “is evident from the volume accommodation, and the strug- ferred. According to their viruses, and thereby allows white Valentine’s Day to find out if choose instead to have an opera- of pregnancy tests that CUSU gle to fit looking after children results, the female “volunteers” blood cells in the body to recog- you are really compatible with tion in which doctor’s use equip- distributes free of charge”. around such features of study as preferred the T-shirt from nize them and become “switched your partner, make sure you ment to artificially remove the The University does offer Saturday Lectures do not make males with a different MHC on”. Once “switched on” these don’t shower before hand…. foetus from the uterus, though support for pregnant students – University many women’s ideal type to their own. Interestingly, cells can circulate the body and this usually needs an anaesthetic. College Nurses and Welfare time to have a child. females on their periods or the destroy the invading pathogen. Justin Loke Pickle Brine? Prairie Oyster? When Alka-Seltzer just isn’t enough t was when it became habit in lemon, piled with a teaspoon of vein, transporting the happy poi- experience low tolerance and In the golden days of my my Monday morning lectures sugar and a teaspoon of coffee son to your liver. Here a series of high levels of addiction; due to youth, hangovers were the STDs Ito position myself close to and eat it one bite to cure his, enzymes slowly break ethanol their livers not being equipped of the drinking world; a scary and both the bin and the exit to the whereas the infamous Sally down into a series of other sub- with the right enzymes to break painful phenomenon that howev- toilets, as emergency vomit con- Bowles, nightclub dancer in the stances. Firstly the enzyme the alcohol down. er reckless the behaviour indulged trol measures, that I realised I film ‘Cabaret’ swore by ‘prairie Alcohol Dehydrogenase breaks It’s not just the unmetabolised in, would never, ever happen to should probably address my oysters darling! You’ll love it! Just alcohol down into acetylalde- acetylaldehyde floating round in you. Now that I have virtually drinking problem. Or rather, my take an egg, and whoosh it up hyde, which is highly toxic, and your system the next day which given up drinking because it morning-after-drinking-the- with a little Worcestershire sauce; will make you feel very ill (the will make you have to lie to your makes me so ill, I wonder where night-before problem. “Drank simply divine’. nausea, the flushing, the sweats). supervisor about having a it all went wrong. The answer I with Russians Monday. Tuesday; Quite frankly, I’ll take their This is then metabolised further ‘migraine’. The alcohol itself, as a fear, lies with hangover causing nearly died. Drank with Russians word for it, along with the by a second enzyme, Aldehyde diuretic, dehydrates you, and the compounds called congeners, again Wednesday. Thursday: Russians who drink brine straight Dehydrogenase, into acetate. loss of electrolytes in the large lurking in all manner of favourite should have died on Tuesday”. from the pickle jar, the Assyrians, volumes of urine excreted will tipples. Vodka apparently, and Take out the word ‘Russian’ and who used to take crushed swal- So much for ‘grown make you weak, light-headed and white wine, favourites of a mis- insert Finns/Polish/Australians/ low’s beaks with myrrh, and those up drinks, I abstain dizzy. That abdominal pain and spent youth (‘Lambrini girls just Cambridge students’ and you who take Tylenol the morning nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea wanna have fun’) are virtually have not a suicidal Craig David, after. Whilst the latter sounds the Whilst alcohol itself is an equal were not caused by the ‘Van of congener free, wheras my new but a brief insight into my quite most sensible, acetaminophen opportunities employer, it seems Death’; they too were caused by ‘Cambridge sophisticate’ refresh- intimate morning relationship (the active ingredient) in the pills some slaves are more equal than that last shot of vodka, or swig of ments of choice; gin, red wine with fruit juice, painkillers, and will react with the alcohol still in others. Heavy drinkers can build port irritating the stomach lining and port, are the worst offenders. the inside of the toilet bowl. your blood stream, and to quote up a tolerance to alcohol by pro- and intestines. The changes in So much for ‘grown up’ drinks; The hangover through history one hangover cure website, ‘make ducing more Alcohol the liver required to break down from now on, I abstain. Orange has always been an egalitarian lit- your liver explode’. Dehydrogenase enzyme, break- all the alcohol consumed may juice, anyone? tle shit, giving every social eche- After the penny has hit the ing down the ethanol faster, cause low blood sugar levels, and If you are concerned about lon and nationality the chance to bottom of the glass, and its con- whereas those of Asian descent best of all, alcohol’s disruption of your alcohol consumption go to feel like their brain was peeling tents have been drained, alcohol appear to produce less of it in your already student battered cir- www.aa-gb.com. from the inside of their skull. Tsar is absorbed through the stomach general. Aboriginal populations cadian rhythm will lead you to Nicholas II would take a slice of lining into the hepatic portal of both Australia and the US suffer from ‘jet-lag’. Krystyna Larkham NEWS KING www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 17

Sissy middle-east: “too weak to War” Poetry King To Lady Lazarus will neither be expelled, nor deal with that. This is taking (deceased) Photo King Alan will I be pushed out because Ellen ALL that I have. Every last of any supposed allegation or MacArthur drop and ounce. You say that you're wizard Shephard otherwise. I resent the impli- at dying, cation, and [pointing to Day 25 - Last night I was woman] I question HER very, very lucky, that's for Now I think we both know A world looked on in sick- motives.’ Diary sure. It was *********. The *** that's not true, ened embarrassment this Silvio Berlusconi: ‘Mama halyard ****** ********. We're week as loser-titch waif-states mia, il miglior fabbro!’ Day 1 - I'm really looking fine, we're fine, we're hanging For you seemed to spend all Israel and ‘Palestine’ (Times, Peace is unavoidable, cow- foward to this but I've got the in there. you life trying, 2002), once again, retreated ardice is among our midst, feeling it'll be a tough one. from the hero-strewn man- and speculation is certain. It's just starting to hit me Day 26 - Attempt in jeop- Yet it took thirty one years field of war-time (like a that I'm actually going to be ardy. A huge wave just broke to do. hedgehog scrunched up in a alone. Completely by myself. right next to the halyard. L. Roberts ball). This message came on In fact, I'm very, very scared. Come on Ellen. This is really, Giant man - civil. the back of the media, at a really hard. I'm being pushed time when international rela- Day 2 - The motto for as far as I can go. I keep tions have breached borders, today is "Feel less pain". telling myself not to cry - hey, crossed oceanse and penetrat- Easier said than done some- there's enough water around ed the grand, grand depths of times but, hey, we have to here anyway without me continents. give it a go, don't we? making any more of it! Blair rhetorically thinks: ‘The horrors of war? No, but Day 24 - Disaster. Blood Day 72 - I can't wait to see war, ‘tis a many-gloried thing. everywhere. And water. Main everyone. I can't believe I Their sleeping legions, their halyard is creaking. actually made it. blunted blades, their living Weather is unkind. I've Anything is possible now. children: all ashaméd is.’ Child - symbol of peace and tried everything but the fact Kofi Annan annanced: ‘I weakness is I could die, and I have to "No. You save my enviroment! Jesus...”

Misled Bush releases “butterfly”.

This delightfully steamy dish comes from a little-know region of Seville and encapsulates all that Spanish food has to say and smell in just one dish: Fiesta! Its aroma has been likened to that of nightingales’ song by several leading experts and the connoisseur is advised to suck on Manuela de Zimbabwe’s masterful novel Papa eats Mama Cha-cha for a more formal introduction to this approach.

Cilla Black puts her foot down: Surprise, surprise!

“Man. How did someone as pretty as I feel end up cooking?” Notwithstanding these, take two eggs and whisk until dry.

Keep whisking until dry. In the mean time crack open two more eggs and cover fingers with yolks’ inners. Add the As humans laud MacArthur lemons and keep going. on land, boats rush to praise their hero . At this point be careful not to add too much water: I made this same mistake twice yesterday and killed fourteen dogs! After this, preset the oven to gas-mark-two and blow until hot; stir well and make sure the oven is placed on the mid dle-shelf.

Leave to simmer for fifteen minutes until golden-cheese. It’s now time to add her eggs. Open oven door and climb in. Gently prick eight yams together with the sauce and repeat until tired. Set oven-timer to the year 1885 and wait til dawn.

Now it’s time to conceive the marinade. Mix vinegar with crème de menthe for a truly zesty surprise: Cooey! For a truly Spanish touch serve chilled and coated with knobs of boiling Recovered Pope flies up and water for taste. I like to sprinkle the leftovers on the lawn out down. back. Nick Mohammed PREP is available in all colleges now and includes the nominations for model student 2005 PAGE 25 PAGE FILM,

VarsityArts THEATRE, 22 PAGE

hoopee Club hoopee W the of y es t Cour tistic men: n. The ian cabaret e wo lusio ical stripteases ictor V taining and ar ving the il yrer and Larayrer Clifton, uary 8.30pm - 1am T br a burlesque is as hot as a e t Museum, the Cobden s founders ar ’ haps the satir ipper’s knickers.ipper’s Sex with a It is not so hard to see how a to see how It is not so hard Embraced by the VictoriaEmbraced by the and amar er lub wist most definitely sells. Alice Harper ples and navel before walking the ples and navel before an awestruck before tightrope crowd. The climax of Barbette’s of his act was the sudden removal wig to reveal the shaven head of a man, dissol that permeate Whoopeethat permeate have a lot to do with the fact that the c audience went wild. ice as a pig on man dressed skates, stripping to a voice over of his interior can monologue pass for a burlesque sketch in the at the show Whoopee Club’s last year. Edinburgh Festival P T who met while learning to be strippers.“highwhat they call a mix of They have created humour, and the lowest theatre that is enter Sea-Shells, and A Brawl Belles Hell’s on Brighton Beach, or, you seen Have my can-can Union, cane? Cambridge 14th F without being self-indulgent”. Alber Club (itself a club), the Barbican,Eastern Hotel and by the home the Great of the- of the most commercial atrical ventures,West London’s End, str t OUBLING AUTOBIOGRAPHY TR n his nip- y burlesque h a huge leap wels o ing their shapely some nambulistic some y , brash and stylish. ’ The mocking of , or usic halls of Paris was usic halls of Paris , Lydia Thompson, Lydia heeky inkle bockers. , W ess but for je uch as your averageuch in as your acrobat SLICK AND SILLY: A COMEDY OF ERRORS SLICK AND SILLY: A COMEDY ker n act that demanded ten times sels and fishnets nce c itish Blondes”, in the 1860s. This is not suc The so-called queen of bur- A ineteenth centur usical house, Garden. Niblo’s Not just nipple tas-Not an amed for displa Br from where burlesque where first started.from N operettas had such names as, operettas ‘Novel, sensational, emotional, far- cical, musical, melo-dramatical, and substantial burlesque of Rip V fuelled the success of the burlesque revival. It is a synthesis of periods, styles, performance traditions, all and all are with respect treated are undermined at the same time. It’s at o theatrical central was traditions to the feel of such shows, as was a flouting of sexual taboos. lesque knic legs in tights, while turning gender its head by playing on distinction men, these ladies made their way most prestigious to Broadway’s m embarked on a five on year tour of the embarked United States with her troupe, the “ F as m the 1920s m Barbette, a British aristocrat who, dazzling in a silvery-gold wig, feathers and lamé, began to undr TURE, 22 PAGE Burlesque is making a riotous comeback, says Sex Still Sells , - e as ky me- abaret . hoopee LITERA w extend W what keeps laimed that though, that , c lad Cleopatr y is, ence to my per citing a er , mise of sex; n your specials.n your Value MUSIC, 20 PAGE o adent it certainly was, and ney it may not haveney been, it may y kitchen paper, girls - naked it seems, this includes so s been banging on about since about s been banging on ’ e is much more to burlesque more e is much n spite of being lampooned by n spite of being lampooned feminists, equal rights cam- paigners and the makers of w last December king for value at a burlesque But it’s not just nipple tassels, But it’s The realit And there most certainly there And was. ut nd, eathers and fishnets that hav thing as old-fashioned as a c thing as old-fashioned show. Disheartened by Cambridge’s total indiff loo to do is like asking a hooker show the washing up. f but dec sashaying around the bar;sashaying around the top hats, canes, spats, – lots of gold.and gold sequins, It was a wigs, case of brushing teeth and your putting o for mo ed to the bikini-c I Bount in particular used to sellones - are to cars to beer. music anything from A ther than sheer nakedness. What sells is the pr an audience enthralled is the withholding of it. This is some- Whoopeething that the Club, of the arguably at the forefront Timeneo-burlesque craze that O ‘Burlesque cabaret, sir?’, I try a dif- tack,ferent and instead announce, tassels;‘Nipple naked girls?’seems to work: This flyers suddenly seem to be flying out of my hands. 2002, to a fine art. has down An Times article in last week’s Magazine ‘the fun is as much in the anticipa- ‘the fun is as much in the performance.’tion…as more had to be something There to that night than the perform- ance – it lasted half an hour sho The performance have been may half an hour but the sho star ours of tion Me and vey esents e: lec is Bueller E acking musical- err F ning pr ortant Japanese til April 28th til April cage-shaking beats ar ed to be the most ed to ATION OF SCIENCE FICTION ATION heatr ilm: rts Picturehouse, Fri oshitoshi is consid- oshitoshi ee eading pur Y My Girl Arts Theatre,Tues 19th,15th-Sat 19.45 beat just can’t You wisecr cockneystheatre in er imp artistwoodcut of the Art: Yoshitoshi Museum, Fitzwilliam un T F Music: Warning Junction, 12th, Sat 22.00-0400 L A 11th, 12th 22.40 Sat S Matthew Broderick the high- playing in this school teacher rib 1995,since this month W ersion of thisclassic w v ternoon. unning unopposed for student unning unopposed for ts a ne er r y af

v s sure to warm yer cockles. warm yer to s sure A CELEBR ICELAND’S MUSIC EXPLORED ICELAND’S MUSIC EXPLORED t’

unda erformers at TheerformersWhoopee at Club scene-shapers DJ Hype,scene-shapers DJ Ron, DJ SS, Darren Jay, Mampi Swift, Concrete, Ragga and more. Twins 19th century.These acquisitions recent worth definitely are a look on a rainy S tha my book.my SocietyTheatre CU Musical presen president. witty high school satire. Starring Reese Witherspoon as his nemesis: an over- achie pick of the week P 11.02.05 20 MUSIC February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

NEW IN 2005 #4

Love Is All The Future looks bright NME Awards Tour The Smiths and Blur’, possible if in good measure. ‘Luno’ and walls of tuneful noise into the looked more likely to suceed in they are able to consistently recre- ‘Helicopter’ were obvious high- grateful hordes. this than ever this year, the Corn Exchange – 4 Feb ate the catchy effervescence of lights; however, reliance on per- But in best providing solutions overblown, sub-Duran posturing Review by Jon Swaine ‘Saturday Night’ and ‘I Predict A fect balance and pin-point preci- to such problems of intricacy, it of this (aptly) Las Vegan four- Riot’. Singer Ricky Wilson sion for the idiosyncrasies of seemed that the true stars of the piece simply jarred horrifically It’s easy to hate the NME. Its resembles a mid-90s Albarn, and songs to take full effect does not night were the Futureheads. with the lean, clipped honesty of garish production values, ever- has the necessary charisma to mix brilliantly with a shared Their obsessive rehearsal sched- the three preceding bands, threat- rising cover price and insistence take them far. sound system and dodgy moni- ule continues to pay off: razor- ening to spoil the otherwise tri- on championing abominations Bloc Party were better still, tors. Regardless, the boys fought sharp, angular guitar lines duel umphant evening. Gothenburg band Love is like Jet, in the name of scenes mixing modesty and confidence on valiantly, throwing jagged relentlessly and more tightly than The limited functionality of All ‘might well be the slow- that would not require such ten- anyone else around. Just as their their brash, backlit banner really

est band ever’. according to uous defence had it not invented ck debut album somehow manages said it all; a tacky, one-trick pony, singer Josephine Olausson. them in the first place, mean to sustain originality and break- briefly illuminating before the Ma She’s only referring to how we’re all quick to forget those neck momentum across fifteen underlying emptiness swiftly set ndy

quickly they do things, formative, inky-fingered A tracks, their live set is a whistle- in. Through absolute deficiency rather than the music they Wednesdays spent crowded stop journey. Lovable guitarist of innovation or relevance, both play, which is at times fran- round communal copies, pre- Ross Millard even splits the band and banner simply contin- tic. They harvest chaos and tending we didn’t like JJ72. crowd like a pantomime dame for ued on an unrelenting nosedive bottle it up in three minute But the maligned rag’s annual the amazing cover of Kate Bush’s into monotony for the duration packages of pop genius, tour is more difficult to smear. Its ‘Hounds of Love’ - somehow it of their set. Of course, bravado in encouraged by a manic reputation for bringing bands doesn’t seem mawkish - while music is fine. It just needs to be Saxophone sound not heard into mainstream focus is well- ‘Carnival Kids’ remains simply backed with any sort of sub- since X-Ray Spex. earned: the past four years have one of the greatest songs released stance, and ideally a couple of Last year they managed to seen Coldplay, The Coral, so far this century. choruses more suitably impres- make inroads by recording a Interpol and Franz Ferdinand This band are a perfectly- sive than ‘Smile Like You Mean Peel Session and getting a thrust upon us. Such auspicious formed national treasure; the It’ and ‘Indie Rock and Roll’. Single of the Week in the preconditions and a superb line- feeling that within them lies Yet, despite his ridiculous, NME, so what are they up made for a highly anticipated the potential for such success puffed-chest entrance and best doing here? Well this week night at the Corn Exchange; cer- and longevity is unavoidable; attempts at alienating his audi- sees the release of a single tainly not in recent memory has only household ubiquity would ence by whining that some beer ‘Talk Talk Talk Talk’ and the ‘I wonder if that vaguely indie be truly just. had got on his keyboard, singer ‘Felt Tip’ (‘Depending on girl from my lectu..yep, there she Yet just as it seemed nothing Brandon Flowers could seeming- which side you like the bet- is’ count been so astronomically could go wrong, the Killers’ head- ly do no wrong to half the crowd, ter’) and they’ve just fin- high at any Cambridge gig. line set was as confounding as it who seemed utterly enchanted by ished recording their debut And so it began, the Kaiser was excruciating. In building his every word. Meanwhile, the album. Love is All continue Chiefs opening with an energetic their line-up, this tour’s organis- rest retired to the bar to discuss the dynasty of great Swedish set wholly justifying the praise ers have had an unenviable what had gone before: the pop and should be unstop- currently being lavished upon challenge in providing four sets assured, accomplished arrival of pable in 2005. them. Drummer Nick Hodgson combining popularity and prom- three bands as inspiring live as Sam Blatherwick had earlier told me of their desire ise, diversity and consistency, and they are compelling on disc, and www.loveisall.tk to be seen in the line of ‘Great in seeking cohesion for the night in whose hands the future looks a British bands, like The Specials, The Futureheads’ Barry Hyde: better than the Killers as a whole. While on paper they whole lot rosier.

Not so unmiscible eek

Miscible But then, we do also want The which would have been great Fitzwilliam College - 2 Feb Others to have freak accidents had there actually been of the w Review by Hannah Stewart with rich kids’ Land Rovers. enough people in each one to Dominic Masters is still being give it the atmosphere it prob- First things first – the name is crack’s second favourite ably deserved. There’s no lbum

just far too easy a target. It posterboy, and similarly, being denying that it’s obviously a A isn’t fair. Oh well, that being at Miscible felt a little like great idea, to embrace all done, we must turn to the new watching your beloved first- kinds of everything into one Bloc Party The Wedding Present Wheatus incarnation of Red Shift born fall over in the egg-and- night, but it really needs to Silent Alarm Take Fountain Suck Fony whilst attempting both to be spoon race. attract punters by showing honest and retain some of that Miscible and Noam itself to be more serious about Silent Alarm has barely settled An eighties band reform and A very little known fact, this, Billypride™. What an intimi- Chomsky are prime evidence its music, and being more than into HMV ‘indie’ sections tour again, eventually releasing but Teenage Dirtbag wasn’t dating feat of diplomacy. for the argument that you just a KamBar room, a Coco’s nationwide, yet the rumblings of a new album. Sound familiar? Wheatus’ only ever release. As We want Miscible to suc- should never attempt every- room, a Ballare room, and so a backlash are already dis- Music has been an ongoing a matter of fact, they have two ceed; we want it to be a six- thing, because you might end on. In all, Miscible is a good cernible. Why? Perhaps it’s that concern for David Gedge with albums floating around some- room extravaganza that satis- up with really shoddy theories night, with lots of cheap guitarist Russell Lissack’s fringe Cinerama; heck, there’s even a where, one of which they fies all fans of Sugababes, Mylo on linguistics or an ent that drinks and plenty of variety. isn’t asymmetrical enough, that Cinerama single here in ‘Don’t released twice in this country. and Captain Beefheart alike, in spreads itself too thinly. A But it needs a better gimmick politics and sincerity is like, so Touch that Dial’. It’s a new Suck Fony is that album a perfect, dazzling manifesta- dance room, and d‘n’b room, a than simply being ‘an unmiss- pre-electroclash, or, more cut- version of the Festive Fifty reborn. Abandoned to ‘fend tion of the elusive goal of a bands room, a chillout room able mix of music’ to get more tingly, that the LP’s cover resem- topper, but it’s no less heartfelt for itself ’ in the UK nearly (whisper it) ‘good college ent’. and a cheese room, all of people through its doors. bles ardent bed-wetters Travis’ and powerful than it ever was. two years ago by (you guessed

t The Man Who… Take Fountain opens with a it), Sony, ‘Hand Over Your It’s all bullshit though. The staggering, ten-minute version Loved Ones’ now comes self war e visceral punches of ‘Helicopter’ of ‘Interstate 5’, which is risky, released by the band and

St and ‘Banquet’, all staccato gui- but the band simply breeze blessed with – oh my gawd – tars, pulsing bass and euphoric through it, building layer a, like totally ironic new title annah choruses, are beautifully balanced upon layer of perfect sound. I and two bonus tracks, one of H by the maturity of desolate, edgy could go on with superlatives which has a bizarre free jazz urban soundscapes like ‘Price of about each song, but I’ve outro. If you’re a Wheatus fan, Gas’. Though their combination spoiled enough suprises. The aside from all the other issues, of image and politics seems a lit- band has matured, but unlike you probably have most of this tle uncertain, Bloc Party’s success your other washed up stars of album already, so do have fun in mixing songwriting with sonic yesteryear, slowing down has being exploited (now isn’t that experimentation marks them out not made them any less inter- ironic). If you’re not a as a veritable diamond in the esting. Exciting, emotional Wheatus fan. then I suggest faeces-strewn rough of the cur- and brilliant. David Gedge you go and buy the new Sum rent rock scene. needs a knighthood. 41. This is that good.

Was Yaqoob Sam Blatherwick Krzysztof Honowski

Silent Alarm is released on Take Fountain is released on Suck Fony is released on February 14th through February 7th through February 14th through And the crowd goes mild: Miscible turns the heat up to lukewarm Wichita/V2 Scopitones Montauk Mantis MUSIC www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 21 Not just a fairyland Simon Brown on Iceland’s emerging music scene

We’re not talking elves, fairies or the country’s defining music is electronica merging minimal Albarn and Benediktsson is a Eskimos. Although geographi- still underground in Reykjavik vocals with a variety of opulent document of the infamous week- cally isolated from Europe, itself - if you ever go to Iceland electronic and acoustic instru- end hedonist dance culture Iceland is neither the far-and- do not expect to hear of the mentation. Check out Summer Reykjavik plays host to. away magical place nor the ice artists mentioned below. Make Good, their most recent For a classical alternative to wilderness some may have you Nevertheless, there are many album, but start with their debut Sigur Rós, look to Johann believe. Iceland’s detachment bands who have emerged onto Yesterday Was Dramatic - Today Is Johannsson. His Englaborn is from the hustle and bustle of the UK commercial market. OK – an IDM-tinged master- worth a listen for the beauti- modern living is incredibly con- Sigur Rós (Icelandic for piece that creates dramatic lulla- ful, harrowing melodies venient for creative fertility – ‘Victory Rose’) have supported by-esque qualities. Johannsson creates with a especially music. Radiohead on tour, been given string quartet and piano. It was Björk who paved the the dubious accolade of an ethereal, elegiac, but It is difficult to even scratch way with her first album Debut. NME single-of-the-week, but life-affirming the surface of the Icelndic music She has combined house, techno have also been inundated with scene, one which ranges from and traditional songwriting while advertisement and soundtrack Bad Taste Records deserve the jazz (Gudmundar Ingólfsson embracing the growing trends in requests for their music. Why? credit for championing these Trio and the annual Jazz Festival) experimental electronica pio- Listen to Ágætis Byrjun - ethere- bands (also known as to Warp-esque electronica neered by LFO and Plaid, and al, elegiac, but life affirming. As Smekkleysa). An Icelandic label (GusGus) and hardcore metal now stands as Iceland’s ‘grand the song Jóga (from Bjork’s started by the Sugarcubes (the (Minus).Thanks to an increasing matriarch’ of music culture. Homogenic) puts it, these are band with whom Bjork started Icelandic presence on the inter- ‘emotional landscapes’. out), it still runs today as an all- net and in other forms of media, The Reykjavik But this does not do justice to encompassing music store. A 15- the Reykjavik Underground, Underground has start- the diversity of the band; such a year retrospective CD – Lobster or unlike Magnus Magnussen, has ed but it won’t finish limitation is probably why Sigur Fame – has recently been released started but it won’t finish. Rós chose to sing in Hopelandish celebrating the large canon of 2004’s Medulla relied almost – a gibberish language of their artists the country has produced. www.smekkleysa.net - The entirely on the human voice own creation – as well as inter- Einar Örn Benediktsson, co- home of Bad Taste. alone. Sliced vocals, beatboxing mittent Icelandic and English creator of the Sugarcubes, follows www.icelandculture.com -A and choral work create an phrases. Their last full-length, Mum’s electronica tendencies - contextual guide largely for trav- affecting sound that combines ‘( )’, even contains a blank booklet combining elements of dub, hip- ellers but enlightening nonethe- ancient with modern, natural inviting listeners to make-up our hop and glitch, Ghostigital is ava- less. with technology. own titles, words and pictures. ialable in the UK via Damon www.tonlist.com - a site dedi- Iceland’s emergence onto the Put Sigur Rós into an Aphex- Albarn’s Honest Jon’s label. The cated to online downloads of musical map has been a notably blender and you get Múm – a more accessible 101 Reykjavik Icelandic music. slow and steady one, as most of four-piece creating a form of soundtrack, written by both

Streets apart... Mike Skinner saint or Sinner? Still going strong Saint Sinner James Taylor Quartet www Mike Skinner: love him or hate him. I think ‘A very remarkable Review by Niccie Simpson .jtqg A Grand Don’t Come For Free was amongst the record from a Corn Exchange 3rd Feb r best albums of 2004, but take a furious critic teenage young ooves.co.uk on Amazon, who demands that “someone man talking ames Taylor cites addiction as define music to this chav!!!!”. Or The about what it's like the reason for his supreme Guardian’s Caroline Sullivan: “Why are we to be young in the Jmusical career, an obsession meant to celebrate his supposed lifestyle,” she city’, said Mercury jury with playing gigs and making wails, “an aimless round of late-night kebabs, chairman Simon Frith. It’s music. In 1986, his first single, spliffs and untaxed Ford Cortinas?” this attitude that has Blow Up, released with the newly To bemoan Skinner for writing about what cemented the popularity of formed James Taylor Quartet was he writes about is about as intelligent as argu- what is essentially just the class- championed by John Peel, and ing that 1984’s rubbish because Eurasia room banter of a jumped-up brummy the track appeared three years sounds like a bit of a hellhole. towny. running on Peel's seminal Festive Mike Skinner is currently being lauded as 50 Chart. There are essays to be written the British Eminem, the Voice of Blair’s Britain, The JTQ are the sort of band The master at work about ‘Dry Your eyes’ the man who has added the much-needed degree whose music you don’t know you ness of the gig – no random sets worked. In fact, the fusion of a of social commentary to British Music. know – they’ve the recorded the and distracting lighting effects, traditional set of jazz sounds Much is made of his lyrical brilliance, and But we don’t need another Eminem. Why 60s classic Mission Impossible as no weird clothes or unnecessary with a classical instrument, call me a pseud, but there are essays to be would we want another white-boy rapper parad- well as The Theme from Starsky ceremony, but just the band against the distinctive back- written about ‘Dry Your Eyes’ and its extraor- ing himself as a political satirist? And as for and Hutch, and Taylor co-wrote themselves, dressed as if they ground of a Hammond organ, dinary invocations. No-one in mainstream ‘social commentary’ – surely the Midlands can’t the theme tune for Austin Powers. were having a jam before going produced a very unique and music today writes as well as him, and for all really be that bad? His distinctive Hammond play- for a pint at their local. inimitable sound. his protestations that poets The sad little man in ‘Dry Your Eyes’ just ing has featured on albums of But what a jam. The opening The audience was utterly won are wankers - sorry Mike, seems so desperate - he wants to impress the girls Manic Street Preachers, U2, The number was a funked-up version over – by the end, they were up but you are one. by showing he’s in touch with his ‘emotional side’ Wonderstuff, Tom Jones and The of Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s Jesus and out of their seats, clapping But even if he was talking , but just ends up letting the entire male popula- Pogues, and he has recently done Christ Superstar; I know what their hands and generally groov- nonsense, his easy com- tion down. His real attitude is epitomised by the some session work with Amy you’re thinking, and I would ing on down. After a two-hour mand of his vocal style – comments on his website: “Never ever, confuse a Winehouse (whom he describes have been sceptical too, but set, the band walked off the a kind of Real Speech as ‘arrogant and ‘belligerent’, but you’ll have to trust me on this stage and left the crowd breath- Plus – is so arresting We don’t need another in a good way). one – it was spectacular. A real less in their wake. that every track is white-boy rapper Their gig at the Corn sense of unity emanated from When I asked James what he compulsively lis- Exchange last Thursday was the the stage, and it really seemed felt he had yet to achieve with tenable. The man girl with being your ‘friend’ - girls are for sleep- first they’ve played there for 10 (without wanting to sound the band, he said ‘for the British can write a tune. ing with, blokes are for hanging out with”. years, when they sold out the clichéd) that they were all think- Media to accept us’. He said that Plus, he’s funny as Couple all this shite with Skinner’s brummy venue. In an interview prior to ing with the same musical mind. they are still, despite everything, fuck. This may be monotone and you wonder if the future of the performance, James described Special mention must also go treated very much as outsiders. the only man in pop British music will consist of Armenian immi- the past 12 months as a ‘colossal to all the musicians for their quite The distinctive music of the music who could grants scatting to a tambourine – because ‘that’s year of performance’. Last week’s brilliant solos, executed with JTQ is certainly underappreciat- make a line like “I’m not gonna fucking just real, man.’ gig featured the same three artists impeccable jazz timing. Perhaps ed and underrated, but these fucking leave it all now” comprehensible, Mike Skinner has described himself as not with whom he has now worked most unexpected was the contri- stalwarts of contemporary heartbreaking, and as irresistible in its working class or middle class but after a British with for 15 years, and this was bution of the flautist (who dou- British jazz (and god knows we rhythm as a pneumatic drill. This “chav” housebuilding company: “Barratt class: suburban perhaps the reason why there was bled up as saxophonist); this need more of those) clearly have doesn’t need anyone to define music to him: estates, not poor but not much money about, such a strong sense of unity. added a completely different a lot more to give. he’s doing it fine all on his own. really boring”. Or was that his music? Something which particularly dimension to the music, and an www.jtq.co.uk Archie Bland Niccie Simpson struck me was the unpretentious- element of surprise – but it www.jtqgrooves.co.uk 22 LITERATURE February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Science fiction: much more than escapism It’s the most daring and progressive area of fiction, argues Tom Kingsley

a normal repressive government section. Even if they did, they’d with his own writing. which reflects the injustices of see all of Dick’s slim little vol- What is even scarier is the his own. It’s clever, and good umes collected into monstrous structure of Ballard’s worlds. SF is very clever. To be fair, bumper editions of his works His characters are left purpose- More’s satirical new world has with garish spaceship-strewn fully blank because he prefers to too much philosophy and too covers - despite the lack of describe them in terms of their little fiction, but it’s thinking spaceships in the books. surroundings. It’s not what they along the right lines. Several of them really are bad. do that is important, but what is But the man who puts the F But then again, lots are brilliant. done to them. back into SF is the legendary In A Scanner Darkly, a police- So the alternate fantasy uni- Philip K Dick. Dick’s writing is man’s personality is split in half verse is one created specifically the work of a genius. Partly by a powerful drug, creating a to explore different characters because he was a genius, but also criminal alter-ego who he has to and situations. SF moves because he rarely wrote whilst chase around the place. He’s the towards what Ballard calls the not on amphetamines. grand-master of the high-con- “perspective of the personality”. Which is why he describes cept, which is why he’s the most- And so important is this idea to paranoid alternate versions of filmed SF author in Hollywood. Ballard that he insists that “no the present where everyone is on Blade Runner, Minority Report other form of fiction shares SF’s drugs and no-one is sure who and, um, Paycheck and Total vocabulary of ideas and images they are. With his nightmare Recall are all bloated, bastardised to deal with the present, let visions of repressive govern- versions of his books. But the alone the future.” ments and insidiously insistent Dickian vision is still there. Science fiction thus becomes capitalist advertising, Dick the most daring, progressive area shares Kafka’s distrust of author- It’s not just ‘what of fiction. It’s where readers ity, and with his deconstructions if...’ It’s ‘My God, negotiate dizzyingly distorted of memory and identity and the what if-’! parallels of their own lives, and nature of narrative, he’s up there authors are free to change their with Borges. And the Dickian vision world if it helps them tell their don’t like those science fic- sequels to develop them further Basically, good SF is satire. “We live in a society in which becomes even more abstract and story. From Kurt Vonnegut’s tion books with the stupidly and then they have even longer Subversive Fiction. spurious realities are manufac- powerful in the writing of J G insane ramblings to Ursula le Ilong titles with umlauts and titles and so the vicious cycle tured by the media, by govern- Ballard. His masterful stories Guin’s thoughtful anthropologi- roman numerals and where the continues, in another sentence. I no other form of ments, by big corporations, by impress with their imagination cal studies of imaginary worlds, author’s name is inflated with don’t like those science fiction fiction shares SF’s religious groups, political and brutal economy of prose. science fiction is unlimited in its extra initials which only fit onto books at all. groups,” Dick declares. “My Ballard creates decaying worlds, power and scope. It’s exciting, it’s the spine if it’s wider than the Good sci-fi is called SF, they vocabulary of ideas writing asks ‘What is real’? rotten to their nihilistic core edgy, it’s nothing to be embar- front cover which has to have a tell me. And good SF is a short and images Because unceasingly we are and with no chance of redemp- rassed about. “I love SF,” says garish picture of a spaceship story: a single, instantly engag- bombarded with pseudorealities tion. In Crash, people get off on Philip K Dick, of course. “I love painted on it so you can tell it’s ing idea. Good SF isn’t about Journey to the Centre of the manufactured by very sophisti- car crashes. to read it. I love to write it. The the cover not the spine and then helping you to escape to another Earth? That’s sci-fi. SF is more cated people using very sophisti- In High-Rise, the residents of SF writer sees not just possibili- because the spine’s still really big world because you have no like More’s Utopia. Like the cated electronic mechanisms.” a luxury tower-block declare ties, but wild possibilities. It’s the author needs to add super- friends; it distorts the real world best SF, it has no aliens or Dick’s dilemma is that the war on each other. In Concrete not just ‘What if… ’. It’s ‘My fluous plot to fill the pages and to such frightening extremes dinosaurs, but instead has alter- interesting people who’d want to Island, a man is car-wrecked on God, what if – ’! In frenzy and then because of all that superflu- that you decide you probably nate worlds populated by nor- read his books are the ones who a motorway roundabout. It’s as hysteria. The Martians are ous plot you need to write don’t want any friends anyway. mal humans, and controlled by rarely look in the science fiction if he’s trying to scare himself always coming.” Varsity Recommends tive nature of both patriarchy Un-natural sciences Wide Sargasso and colonialism, yet Rhys refuses to succumb to crude Has sci-fi had its day? asks Rebecca Jenkinson Sea caricatures. Whilst giving a voice to the first Mrs ingsley Amis recently To start at the beginning, Origin of the Species: imagine depletion. Yet this was 50 years by Jean Rhys Rochester is undoubtedly the said that science fiction Over a hundred years ago H. G. Charles Darwin on glue. ago, when even the most diligent novel’s raison d’etre, the story Kas a genre has become Wells began writing a type of lit- Bridging the gap between fic- lefty liberal still used CFCs. Sophie Allen equally belongs to Rochester, obsolete in the modern era, and erature he called ‘science tion and technology readers Such stories captured the who, as the obedient second that it’s only worth is as a “his- romance’, a mix of hard science are presented with a race attention of readers not just Jean Rhys’ belief that the char- son, forced by his family to torical artifact”. He has a point and fanciful speculation. In one through space, controlled by because of their impact on con- acter we see the least of in Jane marry for money rather than - the actual art of science fiction of his most popular works, War HAL, a computer that can talk temporary advances in science Eyre, Bertha Rochester, may be love and trapped in an alien writing is probably past its sell by of the Worlds, Martians invade and interact with humans. but also for the writing itself. the most interesting acts as and often hostile country, is date. England. This story of devasta- This was followed by Isaac Read one of these novels as a inspiration for Wide Sargasso presented as a man to be pitied The genre has not lived a tion by aliens, human fear and historian, and the best of you Sea, which takes the mad as much as despised. charmed existence, belittled by paranoia is recounted in a factu- Science fiction will be able to step into the woman from the attic and Rhys’ allusions to Jane Eyre literary types for the supposed al manner as though it were gave hope to all shoes of the writers contempo- places her centre-stage. With are often playful and inventive, low quality of its writing, and intended for a newspaper. It has raries and be made to feel that the tortured Bertha trans- such as when, imprisoned in seen by the mainstream reader- the effect of making the unreal those arty types anything is possible. The best formed into the passionate Thornfield Hall, Antoinette ship as the domain of geeks, it seem real; the key stone of sci- who saw literature science fiction writing starts Creole heiress, Antoinette sees fleeting glimpses of a has been readily dismissed. Yet ence fiction as the classic science as the real ‘truth’ with the everyday, even the Cosway, the novel is, in essence, ghost-like figure, who we must this view ignorantly rejects the fiction novel is characterised by a ordinary, and imagines possibil- a prequel to Charlotte Bronte’s assume to be Bronte’s heroine, impact that science fiction has scientific, rational take on the Asimov’s ingenious short stories ities from there. classic, relating Antoinette’s herself now ‘off-stage’. As such, had on society through techno- world using real science. about robots. His Robot Series But as Amis has said, the marriage in Jamaica to an Rhys’ version of Bertha’s story logical advancement. The impact of this on the provided a somewhat preten- end is nigh. As the universe English gentleman who, offers us new ways in which to I make this statement on the audience can be immense. tious but varied read in which he becomes less of a mystery to although he remains unnamed read a canonical text, but she is basis of the impact which science When War of the Worlds was first coins the word robotics. He man, and technological throughout, is clearly Edward never in thrall to her source nor has had on our society, which has aired on American radio listen- wrote about them long before advances has become the stuff Rochester, Jane Eyre’s brooding does her desire to fill in the gaps slowly but surely hijacked the ers who missed the 30-second two scientists - both Asimov of tabloid journals, the difficul- hero. Rochester is initially diminish it. Jane Eyre and Wide role once given to the arts as introduction believed what they fans - drew up plans for the first ty in producing a ‘pure’ science entranced by his young wife’s Sargasso Sea complement each having the biggest influence on were hearing, creating wide- working robot in 1956 based on fiction novel, with high levels beauty and sensuality, yet, as he other perfectly in presenting culture. Science fiction, however, spread panic. his Laws of Robotics. of scientific and transcendental fails to penetrate the mysteries two contrasting yet equally fas- gave hope to all those arty types Nor has its role stopped Science fiction writers also realism, has increased. of either Antoinette or her cinating female characters, but who saw literature as the real there. Science fiction has predicted climate change, possi- So what does this mean? As native country, a land seeped in even those who’ve never read its ‘truth’. It has bridged the pushed the boundaries of bly one of the most important always, art evokes - and sci- dark voodoo magic, he increas- more famous predecessor will arts/science gap to become the modern perception and has, in issues of the day. Ray Bradbury ence creates. It falls to the next ingly imposes his own rigid become absorbed in this mov- brainchild of modern science effect, has created the future. foresaw in The Martian generation to offer up their moral code upon her, pushing ing and intensely poetic novel, and therefore one of the most In 1968 Arthur C. Clarke Chronicles how pollution from imaginations to the creative her towards madness. which deserves to be considered influential genres of contempo- wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey, rockets in space might lead to melting pot which science Wide Sargasso Sea offers a a classic in its own right. rary times. which reads like a fictional global warming and ozone seems to plunder. brutal critique of the destruc- THEATRE www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 23 Two pairs of twins and a packet of laughs The Comedy of Errors One is then thrust into the tion of lost children, lovers and house. Eccleshare revels in dis- thick of the action with a market brothers, but we do not feel that missing Deery, who then uses his Review by Bertie Troughton scene, choreographed by the we know the characters to the Dromio’s head as a battering ram, a Galvin gr Arts Theatre, 19.45, 8-12 Feb director Laura Baggaley, in which depth that would enable this. But whilst Angelo (Sam Kitchener), lle we are introduced to the cast and ultimately the actors look like they who deserves special mention, A This year’s Marlowe Society the theme of mistaken identity. are having fun and whilst this watches on with distaste. Also production is slick and silly and One of the many pleasures of this does not give us an understanding deserving of praise are Adriana as a result Shakespeare is made production is the use of music to of the woes or frustrations that (Lydia Wilson) and Luciana accessible and humorous. The mirror the tempo of the action on they may feel, it does create an (Holly Strickland). It was with cast is offensively talented and is stage. Rebecca Applin’s composi- infectious affection for them. these two that one was able to get at its best when at its busiest, tion tied the play together. more out of the characters. They displaying a combination of This is not to insinuate that the This production has supported each other well and incredibly tight physical theatre production needed to be anchored a complete absence played difficult parts with great and comic timing. down or tied together, but the of pretentiousness accomplishment. The light-hearted nature of style of humour perhaps took There are perhaps two features the play is juxtaposed against away some of the empathy one The comic relationship above all others which distinguish the prologue. A bell tolls five as could potentially have felt for the between the Antipholus’s and the this play from other shows in a noose is flown in over a dimly situation in which the characters Dromio’s is highly entertaining Cambridge. The first is that the lit trial scene. One slightly found themselves. Shakespeare’s and polished. Benjamin Deery play is at its best when the stage is wonders whether there will be characters in The Comedy of and Max Bennett are relentless in most full, due to the actors’ com- an army of tight black T-shirts Errors are, to my understanding, their stylised beatings of the fortable use of the set and their in the wings waiting to pounce quite two-dimensional and Dromio’s (Thomas Eccleshare awareness of each other’s move- and ‘perform.’ There is, howev- Baggaley has not shied away from and Richard Kelly), both of ments and an obvious willingness er, a complete absence of any this. The cartoon-like atmos- whom combine a superb range of to work as one cohesive unit. The pretentiousness in this produc- phere that she has created accen- facial expressions and odd noises second feature that distinguishes tion, and Arthur House tuates this reading of the play. It as they are tormented by their this play, and this is an odd thing (Egeon) sets the scene as, look- does not make it deep, but nor is masters. The intensity of the to praise, were the scene changes. ing enchantingly ancient and it meant to be. This is a jolly fights creates the perfect setting Usually a waste of time and an speaking with a wise reso- romp. The difficulty arises when for the shouting match that embarrassment, in this produc- nance, he embarks on telling the audience wants to be a part of Eccleshare and Deery have at the tion they were a delight of charac- his story of loss and searching. the happy ending: the reconcilia- gate of Antipholis of Syracuse’s terisaction and physical comedy.

Hoomit of the show’s humour stems from evening drenched in words. the juxtaposition of a grand philo- Shirley places his hand on Conversations sophical theme (“is my baby the Chadha’s neck in an affectionate Musically anti-reactionary Review by Alex Williams antichrist?”) with suitably inap- gesture that isn’t returned, and propriate conversational infor- the subsequent continuation of their prejudices to appoint her. but it was Mary Bevan in her role ADC, 8th February mality (“maybe, but he might the banal conversation with this Wetmarsh College, Although musicals are hardly as Dr Middlebottom who stole From the opening telephone con- equally be Jesus and wouldn’t that deceptively simple physical or Dr. Middlebottom renowned for their deep intent, the limelight, scaling one octave versation in which we follow the be lovely?”). It’s a joke that man- change alters the entire mood of this one engages in past and cur- to the next with unfaltering ease desperate pleadings of a suicidal ages to just about sustain the hour, the scene, a subtle observation of Review by Sarah Marsh rent polemic, as the programme and grace. lover and his disinterested former but unfortunately fails to provide how the physical formalities that ADC, 19.45pm, 8-12 Feb neatly reminds us that the libret- Clearly influenced by the partner,Luke Roberts’ new col- the sketches with sufficient con- surround conversation can trans- to was written while the author light operas of Gilbert and lection of disparate comic writ- nection. This is not a criticism in form the mundane into the The time-warp that is the was at a Cambridge college with Sullivan but lacking their farci- ings identifies itself as fresh, edgy, itself, but unfortunately there is a highly charged. Cambridge bubble is brilliantly very few female fellows. cal complexity, the plot evolves witty and askew. The audience is subsequent narrative and comic The characterisations, however, burst by this “Gilbertian libretto” The cast carried this produc- almost directly from the fellow’s confronted with a series of short inconsistency between the scenes are undoubtedly the real strength written by Mark Wainwright tion off with general joie de vivre rejection of Middlebottom to sketches that deftly deal with which leaves the audience unable of the evening. Roberts’ writing and set to music by Roland rather than studied comical the sudden revelation of their issues as broad-ranging as coma to locate any satisfactory unifying deftly brings to the fore the tragic Anderson in classical pastiche. effect, except for the crucially pre- bigotry. Moreover there are lim- and companionship, baptism and theme in the evening as a whole. quality and cruelty inherent in This newly-written musical cise timing of James Lark, play- its to a dramatic oeuvre defined stress balls, olives and alternative Having said that, there is an human relationships, and invites tackles many of the reactionary ing the socially inept Cooper. by its self-referential nature. It universes. Not to mention an atmospheric consistency well us to laugh at them. That we are attitudes still present today in The slightly hesitant singing of cannot aspire to universal appre- unhealthy obsession with puns worthy of praise. The staging is so ready to empathise with these Oxbridge colleges. the chorus was redeemed by their ciation, when it depends upon and soup. basic but effective, mirroring the comic caricatures is as much A fellowship falls vacant at own exuberance and the impres- the audience’s immediate recog- The scenes, so far as they are surreal scriptural content. The reflects of Roberts’ craft as the Wetmarsh and although the best sive lyrical performances of the nition of scenery and obscure self-contained, work well in largely grotesque performances audience’s sentimentality. No candidate is a woman, Dr main characters. 18-year old college terms. Yet the libretto building credibly surreal situations are consistently of high standard. doubt at some point we will see a Middlebottom, competing Adam Smyth and Scott does not claim to be aimed any in which a cast of zany oddballs Meera Chadha and Raphael more polished and consistent pro- against a bricklayer with “hidden Kaufman, in the roles of the anyone other than Cambridge live out their hopes and fears Shirley stand out for a sketch duction from Roberts’ pen, and I depths” and a road sweeper, the Master and the Bursar, projected students, for whom it provides through small talk. Indeed, much that uses physical comedy in an look forward to the day. fellows are unable to overcome powerful and finely-tuned voices, sparkling light relief.

The Shape of Things production was it deserved to location of the next one. In What to Watch be far better attended. this respect, Imogen Walford, Review by Patrick

The Shape of Things is set in the director, managed to a Galvin

Gleeson a middle-of-nowhere Liberal squeeze a lot out of a very lim- gr Arts College in the US. Adam, ited theatre space. lle The Cardinal Club Playroom,7pm,8th - 12th Feb A Boasting jugglers, contortion- played masterfully by Conrad Unfortunately, it was ists, love-sick panda bears, the There are two reasons why I Mason, is a spectacle-wearing impossible to entirely hide the forthcoming Orpheus in the object to there being so many geek whose life is transformed fact that the show had been Underworld’s, Can-Can line- plays put on in Cambridge. by a beautiful, exotic art stu- rushed together. Some of the up and a thinly clad troupe of The first is that it leads to a dent, Evelyn, who, over the blocking in the early scenes burlesque dancers, this promis- massive demand for good course of his relationship with meant that for one section the es to be so much more than actors, who as a result tend to her, makes him, for better or audience visibility was your average Cambridge get involved in more than worse, cool. Susannah Wharfe, restricted, and just occasional- Valentine’s Day experience. they can handle. In the case of who was originally cast in a ly the pace of some sections Tickets: Union Foyer, 4-6pm The Shape of Things, this smaller role and took on seemed to be misjudged. Saturday 12th Feb resulted in a last minute shuf- Evelyn at the last minute, However, having said that, I fle of cast members that deserves much praise for her enjoyed the show tremen- Me and My Girl unfortunately affected the utterly convincing portrayal of dously throughout. The The annual CUMTS show- performance as a whole. the character, especially during writer, Neil Labute, couldn’t case follow’s the success of last My second gripe is that with her long monologue near the resist including an unneces- year’s Little Shop of Horrors. so many shows it is inevitable end, where the big twist in the sarily bitchy attack on the Expectations are high. that some of the better ones plot comes out. contemporary art scene near will pass by largely unnoticed. Visually the entire show was the end, but even that was Abigail’s Party Thus I was disappointed but very impressive. The scenery forgivable. The performance I Mike Leigh’s cult masterpiece not surprised to find that I was used was sparse but well-cho- saw was very good, suffering about an era where kitch was one of maybe ten people in the sen, and in the changes fol- only from a lack of time. I’m in vogue and G & T’s flowed audience on the show’s open- lowing each scene, images prepared to bet that by Friday a little too freely. ing night. Given how funny, were projected onto the or Saturday night it will be moving and provocative the Playroom walls suggesting the absolutely brilliant. 24 VISUAL ARTS February 11, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Natural accuracy in natural rhythms d ar

Claire Hart looks Y

beyond the cliff face Kettle’s et’s face it, rocks just In short, what Vellacott pro- aren’t sexy, and duced was nothing more or less LElizabeth Vellacott is no than drawings of rocks and Natalie Portman. But you mountains , but they are draw- would be missing out on some- ings of rocks and mountains thing rare if you allowed these that are capable of pointing superficial obstacles, boulders beyond themselves and awaken- if you will, to put you off visit- ing something quite deeply-felt ing the exhibition at Kettle’s and unexpected. Yard. Something that is too Moreover, you cannot help often overlooked in a world but admire the genuine love of fixated by bling, youth and nature and desire to explore and instant gratification. But some- establish a relationship with the thing valuable nonetheless. natural environment, as well as the single-minded dedication to Vellacott is far achieving accuracy which comes more than simply a across from the works of beneficiary of Elizabeth Vellacott. With her there are no self-indulgent nepotism attempts to explode gender The centenary of Elizabeth stereotypes or put the world to Vellacott’s birth this year, rights; what we get instead is a together with the fact that Jim true presentation of a series of Ede, founder of Kettle’s Yard, moments of profound reciproc- was apparently an avid collector ity between a woman and the of her landscape drawings, world. A woman who, in her prompted an exhibition of some own words, used ‘only the of the work she produced in rhythms of my subject to give later life. Vellacott is far more unity and structure’ to her work. than simply a beneficiary of Her drawings are even entitled nepotism or an artist who hap- with refreshing, straight-for- pens to have been born a hun- ward honesty in the vein of holidays to the Isles of Scilly, strata are replaced by more con- well-suited to this kind of an fully crafted by the artist. But dred years ago, however; for ‘Rock’, 1963 or ‘Rock Pool’, Anglesey and the Welsh fident images of rocks. The lat- exhibition. Even though the this certainly does not consti- which her inclusion in The South 1958. If the ultimate goal of the Borders in the 1950s, 60s and est work in the exhibition, Elizabeth Vellacott display is tute a major problem and Bank Show’s select A-Z could artist is to compromise as little 70s. Some development is dis- ‘Rocks at Sea’, 1973, even sees a situated in one of the more shouldn’t prevent you making a easily be cited as evidence. as possible then Vellacott can cernible over this time period; successful experimentation with enclosed areas it is nonetheless visit to the Elizabeth Vellacott Critics have commented ‘there definitely be considered to have from relatively vague and indis- some subtle colour. subject to some quite relentless exhibition if you can. is a subdued spirituality to her been a great success. tinct hill-scapes to more con- If any criticism is to be lev- light which inevitably reflects lonely, depopulated drawings’ The drawings at Kettle’s Yard vincing, smaller-scale depic- elled against the exhibition it off the glass frames in which the Elizabeth Vellacott at Kettle’s Yard and that they ‘might in many are devoted to either collections tions of rock clusters. could only be that possibly the drawings are mounted and till Febuary, 27th. ways be seen as metaphors for of rocks or mountain landscapes Combinations of random exhibition space at Kettle’s Yard obscures the subtle markings of the process of life itself.’ and were made during summer shapes which resemble sea-side is in some ways not particularly light and tone which were care-

shows him to have grown in each frame, with perhaps the stylistic confidence and one exception of a ballerina who finds here a delicate yet deeply stares directly into the camera Solitary and introspective examination of the in an interesting concluding self and the surrounding envi- note to the exhibition. Rawlings seems comfortable in solitude there is a definite and is unafraid to probe its per- consious detatch- sonal significance. stylistic con- ment that charac- Rawlings’ decision to exhibit his work without using frames terises each frame and his choice of a matt finish are very effective. The space ronment in which the locations provided by the Architecture fidence of photographs are hardly ever Faculty also lends itself to the obvious and knowledge of them size in which Rawlings has cho- In between some- is not necessary for the appreci- sen to work. Overall, this is a theme in Rawlings’ work. His ation of the work. hugely successful exhibition where and nowhere latest exhibition In between The lack of vivid depictions from one of Cambridge’s up- somewhere and nowhere, his sec- of human faces and the sense of and-coming photographers. The café, Department ond solo show to be hosted by detachment this generates is Lose yourself in In between of Architecture the Architecture Faculty, is his perhaps the most striking fea- somewhere and nowhere. most challenging and accom- ture of this series. The figures 10–23 February plished series to date. His ear- that pepper his work are walk- www.ashleyrawlings.com Reviewer: Frances Slater lier work, in particular pieces ing away from us, have their heads turned to the floor, are t is only on the second view- the location of the shrouded by shadows or exist Also worth a ing of the photograph of a photographs merely as distorted reflections. visit: Idisplay of mirrors in a shop are hardly ever (The only face shown to have window that I notice the hazy distinct contours is that of a reflection of Rawlings’ silhou- obvious mock-Grecian sculpture hold- Shackelton: The Hidden ette in the polished glass of the ing what appears to be a neon Collections window pane. The eye is ini- from the Japan series, some- light sabre.) The lack of direct The Scott Polar Research tially distracted by the bright times suffered from an overly engagement with vital, living Institute. Free entry Tuesday - lights that seem to bounce off eager enthusiasm for the new forms and the sheer scale of the Saturday 2.30 - 4.00 pm. the mirrors in all directions. and unfamiliar environments in landscape which is often high- www.spri.cam.ac.uk/events/exh But if one looks closer, the soli- which he found himself, thereby lighted by the inclusion of small ibitions/shackleton/ tary figure of the artist gradual- detracting attention from the shadowy figures makes us con- ly comes into sharper focus exploration of his more subtle stantly aware of the artist’s Altered States imposing an eerie calmness preoccupations and giving rise almost transcendental view- The Charrington Room, upon the scene. to less original approaches and point. There is a definite, one Fitzwilliam Museum. Open The search for calmness in compositions. However, In might suggest conscious daily, free entry. solitude has been constant between somewhere and nowhere detachment that characterises Those homediscomforts Tarnation Jonathan Caouette’sautobiographicaldebut Zoe Ross gr was r before he abuse infosterhomes, leaving herson exposedtoearly throughout heryoung adultlife, mental healthinstitutions ments fol with r administer Caouette New 31-year-old York actor. ing upinsmal livingandgrow-eleven-year-old from troubled journey an deeply she co this, After accident. paralysing Caouette and answer snapshots, through anamalgamation of thefilmchronicles, iMac, $218on his boyfriend’sfor only melodr andanovertly personal diary, Itisatonce ahighly Festivals. both the Toronto andSundance blazing r r T Jonathan Caouette’s film, first-timedirector This April, elease in the UK, after atrail- after elease intheUK, arnation, will go will on general arnation, andparents. www.varsity.co.uk We that initially learn eclaimed byhis eclaimed ‘eccentric’ egular electric shock treat- shock egular electric ntinued todr mtcsetce Made amatic spectacle. un of critical successat un ofcritical ’s motherwas estranged ’ s fragmented and s fragmented ed in her early teens ed inherearly home videofootage, lo wing apartially phone messages, l-town Texas, to a to l-town Texas, if t between , andcomesupgaspingforair plunges intoatroubledlifein fully dubbed fully ‘petite Gothgirl’. heplay- disguised asacharacter andspells sexual experimentation, c emotio ho andadisturbed an absentmother, r point inhislif peculiar from hefelt which dreamscape, asadistant began toseelife satio Caouette developed ‘depersonali- directan apparently result, and dippedinfor laced withamy with anespecial heexperimented age ofeleven, andatthe rebellious momentum, and self-destructive inherently tic simplis- –unspoken, narrative tive visual fieldinaviolentfr tio oscilla- asoptical overload sensory risking kaleidoscopic sequences, frenetic and with terrifyingly overserenely thescreen –isspliced ecor amera… as well ashard drugs, aswell amera… al It isatthisacutel nofatherinthepicture, With Caouette ns and duplications floodyourns andduplications eevrnet Caouette’s me environment, l y written phrases thatroll y written d it, and so the calmly objec- andsothecalmly d it, iodr’whereby he n disorder,’ nal outlet became his nal outletbecame ly separate. ly ’s early story carries an carries ’s story early e thathebeganto riad ofchemicals riad ly potent joint, ly maldeh y fractured ny This enzy. d.As yde. first gr whilst ser is captured gigglingmanically sequencewhereinterminable she than unco one more beginstofeel mother, coherence ofhis the deteriorating tr star equal when thec co sor nothingshouldbecen- perhaps witness, to beactingasall-seeing off? thecamera turn compelshould have some impulseoffilialcompassion r finds voice andmutated innerworld distorted is one Caouette’s way inwhich mate self-exposur inti- alarmingly himself tosuch Caouette’s prerogative tosubject sc ashis might become asdisturbed expressing thathe fears camera, Caouette sitsweepingbefore the vulner evealing moments ofconfessional evealing essing exploitatio hizophrenic mother.hizophrenic fottoa oet,however nfrontational honesty, But if the camera issupposed But ifthecamera It is certainly Jonathan It iscertainly ed: maybe thisislegitimate maybe ed: ts tocross thelineintodis- l y unflinching expositiony unflinching of blt,where anadult ability, tsul acntn,yet fascinating, otesquely enading apumpkinisat fral.Aseemingly mfortable. , yet there yet are equally , amera is turned toan isturned amera ,however e, n –surely led himto F bur 1 2005 11, ebruary experience. cinematic compelling, ultimately and full, for analmoststiflingly andmakes ofsuffering, borne ity m ofatrans- out through theeyes psychodrama lived hallucinatory takeon autobiography; torted anddis- intriguing for adeeply r nar- external andsilent, rational, like tortur Jonathan Caouette’s feel can life sure painin ofthedesperate being heldatar and visio c nising innerwor beingplungedintoanago- effect, Itdoescreate acurious as vanity. with so thanitdoes personal identity more of todowithadislocation thr r to narr ondising choice Caouette’s part asitis. tastical perso shouldreflectas such Caouette’s and much experience, asubjective thisisvery though, In fairness, ful making so cissism thatper thing ofCaouette’s nar- theatrical Yet there issome- indigestible. the filmisatestamenttocr But mother isalmostunbearable. of hispsy characters beforecharacters filming, Writing forthemain motifs to thedeath’. itisa just before dying’- ‘dance of thelastgaspsaperso intended tocreate thesensation ofthefilmwas rhythm ‘The said, cheerfully AsLeone ing. matur of timedemandedamor sio edy Despite moments of dark com- different approach. completely Once UponA Time Dollars Trilogy Morricone soundtrack to Was Yaqoob Aural pleasure efers tohimselfas efers ‘Jonathan’ ativ haos, of mind-shattering sound ofmind-shattering haos, utating, unlocatable identity. unlocatable utating, The ex It was an arguably self-aggran- It wasanarguably ly and shamelessly dramatised. andshamelessly ly The score tothis. waskey oughout – but perhaps thishas oughout –butperhaps n withdeathandthepassage itselegiactone andobses- , e. nal skew, warped andfan- warped nal skew, ,eloquentmusical back- e, ate inthethird person –he T mething ascommonplace arnation ,andsimultaneously, n, cruciatingly raw expo- raw cruciatingly e, me elements feel wil- me elementsfeel c ’s work on Leone’s and thevulner hologically crippled hologically meates thefilm, m a cnc but was iconic, cer ld ofsensory ’s lengthbya tainl demanded a y makes n takes ability eativ Once UponaTimeintheWest speaks up about Ennio Morricone’s about up speaks - e str music anddirection isso between But thesymbiosis beauty. theatrical and often thefilmexudesgrandiose ly, wor L by Guided avoided. thankfully rors are offat-faced histrionics ror notjustthehopeandbeau- image andsoundfusedtomir- ator’s vision that wassuch Yet thescopeofcre- hands. couples squeezing erudite Man dictating Leone’s movements. camera on-set, formed Morricone z tio music propor- togrand swells andthe abustlingtown, reveal swoopsupto before thecamera J beautiful) (and intimidatingly no buildsbehindadespondent Orso Eddadel theme featuring that ofthemusic. tomatch an understatedgrace Jonathan Caouette takes us into a celluloid childhood Jonathan Caouettetakesusintoacelluloid ill at a dusty train station, train atadusty ill oo eo noesunn cn,the In one stunningscene, o ns. ms, k withoper ng thatthepotentialhor- ne y have comparedy have L ’s sopra- hauntingwordless Cue tearsbeingshedand ’ s deft hand, s deft pans andglideswith ’s orchestra per- a, and cer the camera eo tain- ne ’s rgd.I n cn,rail ty Inone scene, tragedy. but alsoitsdesolation and t F the spine. much down asitsendsshivers as tearstotheeyes bringing stone ofthisachievement, wasthecorner- emotional, Morricone so hehasdone todate, Perhaps thebestof200 or ofthe Westernpinnacle genre. ho r marr and Morr ButLeone cere itself. western thanasin- rather the western of movie’- asummary modern dubbed this ‘the firstpost- c notingtheinfluenceof scenes, pleted railroad. 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England potential llen ynden Spencer-A and a law degree L Adrian Shankar tells Adam Edelshain how top level sport and Uni can work Long gone are the days when clubs are interested in players as in Cricket than in other sports. Britain’s top sportsmen had a young as 9. However, Shankar Hard work will go a long way, university education. Now it argues that cricket can be very but whereas it is a rare sight to seems impossible for talented different to other sports. see a footballer go from the footballers and rugby players to “With cricket as opposed to lower leagues to playing for get a degree while some of the football, you can explode in 12 England, cricketers can make country’s youngest stars are months.” He said before adding the jump much more quickly. barely finishing their compulso- that it is also true that players However, Shankar is quick to ry education. However, Adrian can blossom with hard work point out that putting in the Shankar, Cambridge’s cricket- through the academies as well. hours is still crucial to reach the ing superstar, believes that But to emphasise his point, he top. He said, “Before Andrew cricket may be different. drew attention to James Strauss, I’d have said its much “Going to university isn’t a Anderson, his roommate when easier to go straight up through huge problem if you work really the two played together in the the cricket academies. You have hard.” Says Shankar in a brief England Under 17’s. “Jimmy a longer summer to impress the interview between cricket prac- Anderson went up in 6 months, team selectors, and don’t get tice and his work on interna- and has gone straight back mentally drained by your tional human rights. “For crick- down again.” As a contempo- degree.” eters”, he added, “The only rary of Shankar’s, he has bowled Yet Andrew Strauss got a worry is injury or being dis- for England, taking wickets and degree and his explosion onto Shankar has scored many runs for the University, including this 72 against Cambridgeshire tracted by other things.” now, his lack of form and focus the international scene seems to This seems strange consider- have seen him dropped from have given Shankar hope that peformances in India. play cricket this summer. If I England’s friendly against ing the emphasis placed on the the side. he could do something similar Worcestershire were keeping a play well and feel I can go on to Holland and why Arsenal were development of youth acade- This is not a common trait in in the next couple of years. particularly close eye on his per- play for England then I’ll struggling this season. As a big mies and the current sporting other sports. Players tend to be Adrian Shankar’s England formances at the World Cricket choose a career in cricket. You Bedford Town fan, football has ethos of unearthing the talented either good enough or fringe dream isn’t as pie in the sky as it Academy, given that he has can play terribly one day and on always been more important to youngsters as early as possible. players. Very rarely will a player might seem either. On paper it played so few games for them so other days you can crash the ball him than cricket. He assured Cesc Fabregas made his first be seen as first choice for three doesn’t look that encouraging, far. He claimed to have been everywhere and think ‘I could me he would watch the appearance for Arsenal at the months and then dropped from having played only twice for nervous to begin with but set- be the next Brian Lara.’ We’ll England take on Holland rather age of 15, while there are the side. It seems that good Worcestershire’s first team but tled in nicely after the first week have to see how the summer than watch the one day match reports from Brazil that top form is a more vital ingredient much of this has been down to a or two. goes.” against South Africa. cartilage injury sustained in This has been Shankar’s plan Yet, it is possible that Adrian October 2003. Unaware of the labelled by the from the start, saying two years will be forced into the spotlight lshain serious nature of the injury until ago, “The only point I can see in if the summer goes well. He has just before the 2004’s Varsity press in Australia playing cricket professionally is been informally sponsored by match, his summer was spent as a ‘diamond’ to get into the England team, so Oakley Sportswear for a long

Adam Ede recuperating from the injury I have to judge whether or not I time now, with the possibility of and he missed the majority of Looking ahead, it seems that am good enough to do that. It’s a big contract should he the cricket season. this summer could be crucial to a big decision.” That decision progress to become a major star. Since then though, he has Adrian’s career, predominantly may well come at the end of this This could make him a pin up, been to the World Cricket because if things don’t go as well year’s cricket season. Cricket’s equivalent to David Academy at the CCI in South as he hopes, he may not choose For some, the draw of a career Beckham and Jonny Wilkinson. Mumbai and in Perth, where he to play cricket at all. Adrian has in county cricket with long term Yet at the moment he has played alongside some of the made it clear that if he feels he prospects for England would be laughed off all the speculation most promising cricketers won’t be involved in the game at too much to let go, but Adrian over his potential and is deter- around the world. Even though international level, he will Shankar prefers to hide away mined to focus on his cricket so the quality of the other crick- choose a different career. from the spotlight. He doesn’t that he knows where he stands. eters was high, he still managed Therefore, a good summer like socialising with other crick- It remains to be seen whether to shine, labelled by the press in could be the start of something eters, while preferring to keep he will make it but it does give a Australia as a ‘diamond’ with big, both for himself and possi- to himself and listen to music little bit of hope to young sports enormous promise. bly England, whereas a poor than talk about cricket. cricket men and women deliberating Shankar though seems very summer or an injury could drive isn’t even his favourite sport. over whether a degree will level headed and was modest the young star to a career in law. For much of the interview, destroy their dreams of becom- Shankar at one of his more studious, quiet moments when questioned about his Adrian said, “I will definitely Adrian discussed the merits of ing top level athletes. all r or Boxing continued W Malika continued from back page dleweights. John Wright and overcome an opponent with Sam Wood both showed very greater reach. He fought bravely, ...that he frustrated the crowd effective use of the left jab, where as if spurred on by the vociferous with punches that scored but time and again they caught their support of the union, and carried no real weight or malice. opponents with powerful attack- deservedly won on a majority Cambridge’s Hugh Williams ing shots. Their punches were decision. also won comfortably in the straight and true, and their fights Boxing brings something that Super-Heavyweight category, settled into a routine which Cambridge lacks – a spectacle where his lacklustre opponent proved bruising for their that is unnervingly human and could not match him for reach, Campol opponents. Wood was raw in its intensity. Who could power or technique. In both named ‘best fighter’ for his sus- ignore the suffering of Bird on bouts, cries of ‘to the sword!’ tained display of controlled the canvas, as he tried to drag were clearly audible above the aggression. himself to his feet? Or fail to smack of leather on skin. The biggest roar of the appreciate Sarafidis’ pride and Just after the interval, the evening was saved for Vice-cap- despair when told he would not ladies bout saw Meredith Price tain and welterweight Sholto be allowed to continue? Those in give her all but be out-punched Mayne-Hanvey, who showed the seats could only marvel at by a simply stronger Leeds great aggression throughout the the bravery of those in the ring – opponent. Cambridge’s greatest three rounds. He did some nice and perhaps feel glad that they triumphs came in the mid- damage in close quarters to weren’t up there themselves. Cambridge put on a show at the Union, impressing a large crowd of 400 fans www.varsity.co.uk February 11, 2005 SPORT 27

Sport In Not jolly for Volleyball Blues Brief Despite this, Oxford defended Volleyball admirably and were able to FOOTBALL hnson keep just a couple of points The Blues took on Warwick CAMBRIDGE 0 behind all the way through the on Wednesday and came Luke Jo set. The teams levelled out at away with a creditable 2-2 OXFORD 3 23-23 and in the end it came draw. In form Mikey Adams down to recycling the balls scored both the goals. that came over as Oxford Luke Johnson pushed to take the set 29-27. Overall, the Cambridge team- BASKETBALL would not have felt their per- The men’s Blues basketball After a fairly frustrating sea- formance made up for the dis- side toppled Division 1 son in which the team had not appointing result. leaders Wolverhampton by performed to its full potential, Despite riding on the wave 89 points to 71 in a tightly the time had come for the of a succession of victories contested clash. Spirits were crunch Varsity match. Only with a new influx of first years raised the following day as three days before, the two strengthening the squad, the they trimuphed 89-69 over teams had met in a BUSA women’s team were unable to Warwick. match in Cambridge with the compensate for the male dis- final result a 3-1 Oxford vic- appointment, as Oxford tory. But the score was not defeated them 3-1 in a fierce- RUGBY representative of the closely ly contested encounter. The weather was the major matched level of play. Every Throughout the match they talking point in college one of the sets was fiercely managed to trail behind rugby this week, as it called fought and taken by a small Oxford by a only few points, a halt on matches that will margin, with the exception of though in the final stretch determine both top and bot- Cambridge’s victory in the Oxford managed to pull out tom positions. St. John’s will third set, which showed an the big guns and steam away seal the title when they visit impressive combination of with insurmountable leads. It Girton, when the match is individual skill and team co- looked as though it was going rescheduled. Net disappointment as the Blues were smashed apart in double Varsity volleyball defeat. ordination. This previous to be straight 3 set win for the match suggested that Varsity scores remaining level away with a 25-22 victory in Ramasse, 3 options of attack. dark blues, but spurred on by would be open to either side throughout the next set. Both the second set. Good speed from Braun and the home crowd the AND FINALLY... despite a reduced Cambridge sides showed very good defen- Again, the changeover Heslop in the centre pulled Cambridge girls managed to VARSITY FOOTBALL squad due to injury. sive movement and passing proved to be a useful opportu- the Oxford blockers away astonish a confident opposi- On Saturday 12th March, the The first set was something abilities that allowed them to nity for the team to regroup from the other attackers and tion with a 25-12 win. Sadly, Blues take on Oxford at Upton of a disappointment as Oxford utilise their outside hitters, and rethink their positions also picked out the spaces at they couldn’t keep up the pace Park in this years Varsity sailed though 25-5, a score but the Cambridge passes and hitting tactics, resulting in the back of the opposition’s and Oxford replied by taking encounter. rarely heard of in volleyball were not of a high enough what proved to be a highly court. Jacquet and Willis ran the final set by a few points. Tickets cost £5, and can be circles. A quick team talk in standard to allow them to use entertaining display of volley- consistently on the outside This represented an unfortu- purchased by emailing the turnaround made a huge their strong and fast middle ball. Passing quality was and Sarkozy was hitting nate culmination to what has [email protected]. difference evidenced by the attack and Oxford slipped increased to give the setter, impressively through opposite. overall been a positive season. Men’s College Rugby League Division 1 Wolfs-on ice bail out Place Team Pl W D L F A PD Pts Dom Summers Ed Symes and were all out for 67, run involving dramatic leaping and 1 Downing 10 8 0 2 200 115 85 34 which was chased down with ease. sliding, Summers took a dramatic With maximum points in the fall, his contact lens lost forever in the 2 St.John’s 9 8 0 1 380 56 324 33 Winter cricket tours are usually con- group stages, Wolfson were the firm ice. Unable to recover both his sight sidered incompatible with the average favourites to take the championship and his rhythm, Wolfson’s most pro- 3 Jesus 10 6 0 4 187 120 67 28 college team’s budget, given the diffi- with just the Kelletinos Warriors lific batsman was bowled out. When culty of finding appropriate weather standing in their way. Once again, Bridgman was dismissed in the next 4 Girton 9 4 0 5 113 157 -44 20 within an Easyjet flight of Cambridge. Wolfson were chasing, and with the over, the subsequent batting collapse The alternative, as Wolfson’s cricket opening ball Narasimhan sent the effectively ended the contest, with 5 St. Catharine’s 9 2 0 7 85 222 -137 15 team has recently discovered, is to bails flying and the opening warrior Wolfson finishing 87-4. travel to Tallinn, Estonia to participate sheepishly back to the pavilion Wolfson and Summers were dis- 6 Trinity Hall 9 0 0 9 58 353 -295 9 in the first Estonian International Ice- (sauna...). traught, as they had hoped a memo- www.crazyaboutsport.com Cricket Tournament. Despite more fine spells from rable tour and unique experience The venue was an ice-rink at a for- Dawson and Symes, Wolfson pressed would be crowned with victory. One Results: Downing 24 - 14 St.Catherine’s; Trinity Hall P - P St. Catherine’s; mer Soviet missile factory on the out- the self-destruct button, with wides, player confessed that only the St.John’s P - P Girton. skirts of the city. With temperatures dropped catches and misfields allow- “impending plethora of cheap Eastern a balmy -15°C, and unsurprisingly a ing the Warriors to make a very European alcohol would provide a Men’s College Football League hard, flat wicket with no chance of respectable 104-4. consolation for this defeat.” As spirits rain, the conditions were excellent for The opening pairing of Bridgman were raised, the consensus was that the tournament. and Summers continued their early the tour had been both a “great expe- Division 1 After one life-restoring sauna on form as the initial run rate kept on rience and success” and a Wolfson Place Team Pl W D L F A GD Pts arrival, Wolfson were put into bat for target, however an unforseen event spokseman recommended nay urged the first six over game against the turned the match away from other “college cricket sides to follow” 1 Fitzwilliam 6 6 0 0 25 5 20 18 Pretenders CC, another British tour- Wolfson. After a particularly tight in their adventurous footsteps. ing party. The match was never in 2 Trinity 6 5 0 1 14 9 5 15 doubt from the start as Todd Bridgman and captain Dom 3 Jesus 6 4 1 1 14 6 8 13 Summers led the assault. Prabhu Narasimhan and Steve Mann com- 4 St. John’s 6 3 1 2 12 7 5 10 pleted the innings with some quality Dom Summers drives, cuts and edges to leave 5 Churchill 6 3 1 2 8 10 -2 10 Wolfson with the intimidating total of 119-1. 6 Darwin 6 2 2 2 10 7 3 8 The Pretenders’ turn came and the pressure was immediately applied 7 St.Catherine’s 7 2 1 4 7 13 -6 7 with some sharp fielding by Danny Dawson claiming the first wicket, a 8 Caius 7 1 2 4 7 17 -10 5 run out. Ultimately the Pretenders lived up to their name, 70 all out and 9 Downing 7 1 0 6 10 18 -8 3 49 short of the required total. The second game was against the 10 Girton 7 1 0 6 6 21 -15 3 Estonian National Cricket Team, who were put into bat. Estonia Results: Darwin 1 - 0 Girton; Downing 0 - 2 Fitz; St.John’s 1 - 2 Caius crumbled after an inspired spell from Wolfson ice-dream was cut down to size after impressive early results February 11, 2005 SPORT Blues Boxers face up in the Union Chamber Cambridge take on the Eastern Counties in front of a sell-out crowd page 28

Unbeatable y Cranstone Dale Nomads home in on league title prove the thorn in Wisbech’s Ladies Hockey side as she repeatedly provided CAMBRIDGE 7 a devastating end product to her teammates’ fine build up. WISBECH 1 Cambridge’s fluency continued to trouble the opposition, and Luke Pickering their lightning breaks ensured that even whilst on the defen- sive, the Nomads were always CAMBRIDGE University dangerous. A succession of Women’s Hockey II team, the short corners penned Wisbech ‘Nomads’, won their sixteenth firmly in their own half, and consecutive victory to leapfrog even the lengthy stoppage after their opponents Wisbech at the Claire Apted was hit in the face top of the table. The win pro- during another Cambridge The victory stretched their impressive run of wins to fourteen, allowing the Nomads to leapfrog their opponents and top the table vides the side the opportunity short corner, provided little to stake their claim as respite for the travelling team. plete her hat trick before the Sensing a rout the Wisbech Cambridge team of the year, The Nomads secured the half time whistle after repeat- team restored a degree of pride having already conquered the second goal their play merited edly embarrassing the Wisbech to proceedings as they started BUSA league. In what was on 16 minutes after an impres- defence with her close control, to justify their pre-game status Union boxing expected to be a tightly fought sive interchange of passes leaving Cambridge 4-1 to the at the upper echelons of the game, the Nomads thrashed allowed Rosie Sherman to good at the break. table. Nevertheless, despite Theo Bard than the boys had been. In the their title rivals, scoring more shoot home. Yet, mid-way The second half began on a three short corners, the first round Kim was the clear goals than Wisbech had cumu- through the first half, the similar note, with Lloyd pro- Cambridge backline now began THE DEBATING chamber leader, his movement and latively conceded in their four- Cambridge defence’s lack of viding the cutting edge to her to mirror the form of their at the union bears witness to power frequently oppressing teen games this season. action told, giving the visitors a team’s gritty yet creative play. attacking counterparts with the hard hitting, clever ploys and Bird. At the start of the sec- The opening five minutes of lifeline through Ellie Atkins. After only 5 minutes she fullback combination of Walls humiliating defeats on a regu- ond, Kim produced the finest the game was a perfect snap- Ignoring the pleas of a foot, she secured her 4th goal of the and Murdoch proving an lar basis. However this was punch the crowd would see all shot of the drama to follow. placed the ball past keeper afternoon after rifling in a pow- impregnable force. never as vivid as on Friday night. As the bell went, he Persistent pressure from the Phoebe Arnold to raise erful shot from the edge of the And to compound Wisbech’s night, when 400 bloodthirsty moved forward and caught light blues was rewarded with a Wisbech’s hopes and put them dee. Rachel Trafford, after misery, there was still enough spectators revelled in the car- Bird cleanly on the chin with fine strike by star forward back into contention. However, coming on as substitute, further time for surging midfielder nage provided by fighters a ferocious right. Bird tot- Sarah-Jane Lloyd, after her such aspirations were soon to extended the lead when she Sherman to score her second, from Cambridge University tered and fell. Never mind the forceful drive into the dee. be extinguished. The irrepress- stroked home after a fluent firing home from an acute Amateur Boxing Club and count of ten; he spent the Indeed, the Catz striker was to ible Lloyd struck twice to com- interchange, to make score 6-1. angle after the keeper had par- their North-western oppo- whole of the round on the ried a previous effort, to seal a nents. canvas. 7-1 thrashing. The evening began with Cambridge’s Sarafidis Nonetheless, with this year’s junior and youth bouts, fea- brought his tiger-like fighting Varsity looming on the 14th turing a shocking mismatch style to the ring in his mid-

y Cranstone February the team must recover which left the audience more dleweight bout, but his after some surprising ‘eleventh traumatised than it would punches were not straight

Dale hour’ changes to the line up. befor the rest of the evening. enough, and he was stopped Since this top of the table tus- In these bouts it was easy to in the second due to heavy sle, the Nomads have suffered pick the victor from build and bleeding above his right eye, the loss of two of their players aggression alone. There were caused by his Leeds oppo- to the blues, although the reten- few who could enjoy the bru- nents’ superior ability. tion of the services of Sarah- tality when it was directed at In the heavyweight catego- Jane Lloyd must surely be giv- such young, and already ry, Cambridge’s giant ing the Dark blues defence bruised, faces. Wordsworth was on the for- some sleepless nights prior to The crowd breathed a col- tunate end of a mis-match. the fixture. Captain Claire lective sigh of relief, mixed For all three rounds he hit his Walls was philosophical after with awe, when Leeds’ Joe man almost at his own leisure. the disruption to her team argu- Kim stepped into the ring However, his reach and ing ‘the team will regroup and against Cambridge’s Alex strength were so far superior be sufficiently prepared for the Bird. The punches were land- to that of his opponent... game’. Oxford heed the warn- ing cleaner, with both men Wisbech conceded more than they had in all their other games combined this season ing, the Nomads are ready. much further from exhaustion continued page 26 CAMBRIDGE CRICKET STAR PAGE 26 VARSITY VOLLEYBALL PAGE 27 ESTONIAN ICE CRICKET PAGE 27