TAMA THE STATIONMASTER BARSIK Dubbed ‘the $10 million cat’ by CNN, Following his successful campaign for Tama’s popularity as honorary master of mayor of the Siberian city of Barnaul, Kishi station in western Japan helped bail Barsik announced his candidacy for the line out of desperate financial straits. President of Russia in 2018. The Scottish When she died following eight years of fold’s recent pro-Putin, anti-liberal loyal service, thousands attended her stance may lead to speculation about his funeral, and she was granted the status involvement in the 2016 US presidential of a Shinto goddess. elections. The vacancy for White House cat remains open.

SAM WARHOL BRF CAT Andy Warhol loved Siamese cats, The indignity of being named after a keeping 25 in his New York brownstone. condiment would make anyone feel (and The eccentric artist named them all look) a bit fed up. A bitchy resting face ‘Sam’, memorializing them in the book isn’t always a bad thing though … it can 25 Cats Name Sam and One Blue Pussy. lead to riches beyond the wildest dreams That’s 375 minutes of fame between of most kitties (and their owners). Being them. To cultivate his bohemian, the most famous meme in the history of downtown look, Warhol encouraged the internet doesn’t come without a price the Sams to pee on his shoes. though – all those PAs and photoshoots can make a pussy very grouchy. BLACKIE FÉLICETTE Reclusive millionaire Dave Rea left his After having electrodes planted in her £7m fortune to the last of his fifteen brain, on 11 October 1963, the first cat cats, Blackie. In addition to an endless was blasted into space by the French supply of cat treats, this earned the government. Félicette (as she became feline a place in the 2011 Guinness Book known), whizzed up into space then of World Records and was Dave’s way of came back down to earth in a capsule. giving the ultimate two-fingered salute Her 15-minute trip left this astrocat to his family from beyond the grave. unscathed, albeit we imagine, ‘un peu’ dazed and confused.

LARRY FASHWAN CAT Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office It comes as no surprise that this (incumbent), Larry follows the high-maintenance pussy has a complete longstanding civil servants’ tradition set of designer luggage, her very own of refusing to tow the party line. His iPad and not one, but two maids at her ambivalence towards the serving PM, disposal. With an income of over laissez-faire attitude to his official duties £2m pa, this fashion-tastic feline has and acerbic Tweets from the frontline of a lifestyle most of us can only dream Number 10 Downing Street have won of, travelling everywhere by private jet, him legions of loyal followers – nearly as quaffing beluga caviar, and gracing the many as there are members of the cover of Vogue (twice). Conservative Party. HAMISH McHAMISH TRIM This handsome and very hairy ginger Born at sea, this intrepid explorer Tom could usually be found sauntering circumnavigated Australia in 1801–3 around town as if he owned the place. alongside Matthew Flinders. So impressed In fact he might as well have, as wee was Flinders by his feline companion Hamish was so popular with the town’s that he wrote A Biographical Tribute to residents that they paid for a statue to the Memory of Trim, (eventually published commemorate him while he was still in 1973). Brave, athletic and seaworthy, happily prowling the streets of Trim was also ‘excessively vain of his St Andrews. person, particularly his snow-white feet’.

SOCKS CLINTON NOTHING Like his presidential owner, Socks rose When boldly declaring that ‘Hell is from poor beginnings in Arkansas to Other People’, the bespectacled French reside in the White House. Arguably the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre obviously most popular Clinton, Socks received didn’t include feline company – his sackfuls of mail, as anthologized by Hillary beloved cat Nothing clearly provided Clinton in the book Dear Socks, Dear him with some much-needed relief from Buddy (1998). He was also featured on a all the hard liquor, hallucinogenic drugs stamp in the Central African Republic. and 24/7 existentialism. ENO’S CAT DUSTY THE KLEPTO KITTY In a world full of middle-of-the road Aged about two, this domestic mantras and meaningless memes, Eno’s Snowshoe from San Mateo, California, razor sharp oblique strategies (originally began bringing home other people’s a pack of cards and now shared on clothes, toys and household items (over Twitter by Eno’s cat Kofi) offer an 600, estimate his humans). Dusty’s alternative way of looking at life, should burglaries made the local news, and from you ever find yourself to be a little there he was invited to appear on the lacking in creative inspiration. Late Show with David Letterman. Crime does pay.

GRIMALKIN CC Companion of the French prophet and It’s completely natural to want your darling astrologer Nostradamus (1503–1566), pet to live forever, and the Victorians Grimalkin was privy to some of the most facilitated this using some very famous (and often debunked) predictions questionable taxidermy. Fast forward to of modern times. Cats often seem to 2001, and a more sophisticated approach know more than they are letting on – was employed … CC (aka Carbon Copy) was Grimalkin the real source of the was the world’s first cloned pet, but this prophesies? He’ll never tell. little tabby and white copycat was created primarily for scientific (rather than sentimental) reasons. THE SHOW CAT THE HAIRLESS KITTY It’s showtime! Again. For this It’s not easy being different, a fact that high-maintenance Persian life is an Canadian breeder didn’t really consider endless cycle of days on the road, when in 1966 they mated hairless kitten extreme grooming and constant scrutiny. Prune with its mother and bred the first Hours spent waiting in her sparkly Sphynx litter. Since then, cat fanciers princess carrier while Sphinxes and have expanded the breed, providing a Maine Coons strut their stuff. Why does ready-made income for makers of tiny she do it? Because that ‘Best in Show’ cat knitwear around the world. rosette is always just around the corner.

THE NUISANCE THE BOX OBSESSIVE Doors play a fundamental role in As most cat owners will come to learn, domestic life, but cats simply see them cats possess impeccable taste. When as an unnecessary annoyance. They take faced with the multi-platform brown/ pleasure in reminding humans of this in beige fake-fur and hessian monstrosity the most passive-aggressive way commonly known as a ‘cat tower’, is it possible: sit outside then meow to be let any wonder they prefer the clean-lined in; come inside then meow to be let out minimalist aesthetic of the simple … and repeat. cardboard box? AI WEIWEI CAT

If you love someone, set them free – but keep them under surveillance. Look for the precious in the ordinary. To put something back together, first you must break it. BEERBOHM

To thine own self be true. To everyone else, don’t bother. To be or not to be? Just take a nap. All the world’s back gardens are your stage. CATMANDO

Winners don’t always come first. Speak up – every meow counts. You don’t have to be able to bark to be the top dog. CHESHIRE CAT

Smile and you can get away with anything. Don’t be afraid to go down the rabbit hole. Always read the label. BÉBÉCHAT

See the world, but always come back to those you love. Follow your dreams even if they take you beyond the cat flap. Everyone’s your neighbour in the global village. HANK FOR SENATE

Sometimes in relationships you have to play politics. Rise above your litter. Stay true to your values and you will nap soundly.