Chosson �� Hors D’Oeuvres �� Yichud ______Estimated Bus

The Day of Your Chasunah

. Schedule, Honors, Checklists and Contacts ,

Project Ezra

Of Baltimore

______& ______

______: ______: ______Date Time Shkiah

______Hall

______Address Phone Number

______Cell Phone Email

Directions and Alternate Routes (also see 511 information below): ______

. Wedding Schedule , �� Mikvah for Chosson �� Hors D’oeuvres �� Yichud ______Estimated Bus

______Early Mincha for �� Chosson’s Tish �� Pictures Departure Chosson �� Mincha/Maariv �� First Course �� Dessert �� Pictures: Kallah �� Tenaim �� First Dance �� Mezinka �� Pictures: Chosson �� Kesuba �� Main Course �� Pre-Reception �� Bentching Family Pictures �� Badeken ______Toast �� Sheva Brachos ______Estimated Bus Arrival �� Shkiah �� Speeches

�� Kabalas Panim �� Chuppah �� Second Dance ______Mitzvah Tantz

National Numbers: Zmanim Hotline: 718-331-8463 Directory Assistance for Traffic, Weather, Airports, Transportation, EZ Pass and More (available in MD, VA, WV, NY, NJ & CA): 511 USA Directory for Hatzalah, Shomrim & Chaverim, and Pre-Shabbos Emergency Travel Assistance and more: 718-705-5000 To bring this checklist to your community, call Frank Storch at 410-340-1000 ר’ נורמן ולואיז גרסטנפלד ע”ה, ד”ר ברנהרד קפילוף ע”ה, מרדכי ורבקה קפילוף ע”ה :The Chesed Fund Limited is dedicated in memory of

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 2 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH . Important Wedding Contacts: , Names, Numbers & Emails

Name Number Email Name Number Email

Chosson______Makeup Artist ______

Chosson’s Father ______Kallah’s Teacher______

Chosson’s Mother ______Kesuba Coordinator______

Chosson’s Family ______Limo Driver______

Kallah ______MC______

Kallah’s Father______Mesader Kiddushin______

Kallah’s Mother ______Person Collecting Gifts/Possession of keys for safe ______

Wedding Coordinator______

Witnesses for Kesuba______Person picking up out-of-town guests ______

Witnesses for License______

Babysitter(s) ______Photographer ______

Band______Preparer of Kesuba______

Bus Company ______Preparer of Tenaim ______

Bus Coordinator ______Security Guard______

Caterer______Shadchan ______

Chairs/Mechitza ______Shomer ______

Chosson’s Rabbi/Teacher ______Shomeres______

Chuppah Vendor / Assembly ______Singer ______

Coat Check Co./Person ______Valet/Parking Staff______

Errand Helpers______Videographer______

Florist______Wedding Planner ______

Hair Dresser ______Other ______

Hall______

Hall Manager ______o Ask people who’ve made a chasuna recently to recommend reliable vendors. Hotel ______o Make sure wedding date doesn’t correspond with any immediate family yahrtzeits. Hotel Contact ______o Visit family graves. ר’ נורמן ולואיז גרסטנפלד ע”ה, ד”ר ברנהרד קפילוף ע”ה, מרדכי ורבקה קפילוף ע”ה :The Chesed Fund Limited is dedicated in memory of

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 3 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH . Before The Wedding , o Appoint someone to check off this o Arrange snacks and drinks for guests to stream wedding for invitees to seats. list, and/or follow the “How to on bus. unable to attend. Verify internet o access at hall beforehand. Test the Have the person singing Mi Von Save Time at a Chasuna” checklist o Check guest list with machatonim to website and provide logins and Siach and Boruch HaBah arrange online to make sure everything runs avoid doubling up guests. smoothly and on schedule. passwords to viewers. tunes and tempo with the band. o Let machatonim proof the invitation o If hall has safe/safe deposit box, o Appoint a shomer/shomeres for the before printing. Read invitation o give keys/combination to a trusted Determine which way all parties chosson and the kallah. backwards to catch any mistakes. person who will collect wedding should be facing under the o If applicable arrange for: o Get marriage license, but don’t checks and cash gifts and place in chuppah. - Security have them legally marry the couple. safe. Ask them to leave it blank for the - Traffic directors o Designate another to collect other o Designate someone to stand by mesader kiddushin to sign. - Bathroom attendants (to help gifts and store them securely. Put up the chuppah to receive the lit with dressing) o Note that the marriage license must a sign telling guests whom to give be obtained from the court district candles from the parents and - Coat check attendants gifts to. where the wedding will be held extinguish them after chuppah. o If chuppah will be outdoors, o Confirm appointments and locations regardless of where the couple or check weather and make alternate o for hair, makeup, nails, etc. their parents live. Check spelling of names on kesuba arrangements/prepare rain gear if o Make sure makeup artist uses and have the mesader kiddushin o If the mesader kiddushin is not necessary. waterproof materials. a citizen of the country or state review and approve the text o In case of icy or snowy weather, o Confirm music selections for where the marriage license is issued, make sure the parking lot and beforehand. chuppah, dancing, and other times. you may have to get someone else sidewalks are chemically salted o Confirm names the chosson and to sign it. o Find out if mesader kiddushin o Fill family cars with a full tank of gas. kallah will be introduced with at the o If chasuna is out of the country, allows a microphone for brachos first dance. make sure everyone has current o Have direction signs to chuppah, under the chuppah. easel with schedule of events and o Give photo/video staff the time, passports, visas, and vaccinations. explanations of Jewish chasuna location, and combinations of o Make sure to place out-of-town o Make sure all wine is mevushal male guests near a shul to avoid terms (chosson’s tish, badeken, etc.), people to be photographed. o Ask mesader kiddushin how long shuttling to and from minyanim. and a message board or guest book o Decide if you want a seperate video with markers. o the new couple should be in the that omits the ladies’ side for the Arrange welcoming kits for guests. o chosson and other men to watch. o Arrange with caterer to provide yichud room. Confirm with florist where the snacks for early out-of-town guests. o flowers should go after the wedding Decide if you would like female o o Place yichud. gift(s) in the room photographers for the ladies’ side. (i.e., hospital, sheva brachos). Arrange for a buffet area for friends before chuppah o of chosson/kallah who will come o Inquire of hall and caterer about Inform florist how many chairs to for dancing. Tell caterer to put out o Confirm there will be food and restrictions (ex: fire usage for shtick, set out for the badeken. If there buffet after main course is served so liquor policy, etc.). is a platform, make sure there is a chasuna guests who are attending drink for the chosson and kallah in o Hire babysitters. handrail and someone responsible entire chasuna don’t get confused. for helping the elderly get up and the yichud room o Get hangers and number tags for down. o Arrange to accommodate guests coats. o Confirm hotel reservation for o Arrange powder baskets for with food allergies. o Arrange driver(s) for roshei yeshiva/ chosson and kallah if applicable. Get bathrooms, including first aid kit, o Discuss which side gets which chashuvim and elderly guests. Make floss, stain remover, bobby pins and kibbudim. Fill in chart on pages 8 & 9. directions. sure chashuvim (especially the safety pins, combs, hair spray, etc. mesader kiddushin) and drivers have o Ask mesader kiddushin if he has o If necessary, arrange a place for minhagim for officiating at the location, directions, and times. o Designate changing rooms at the hall. chosson and kallah to stay during o Arrange a safe place for out-of-town chasuna. Arrange to follow them. o Make sure to reimburse mesader the sheva brachos week. kiddushin’s travel expenses. guests to leave their belongings. o Ask mesader kiddushin if the chuppah should be before shkiah o o o Inform mechutanim of any important For safety and security reasons, Reserve convenient parking (sunset) or just the badeken. spaces for family, chashuvim, and minhagim, (ex: wearing a shaitel decorate only the inside of the during chasuna, who walks chosson/ o Make sure that the eidim (witnesses) handicapped. chosson/kallah’s car. Make sure no kallah down aisle, speech under are NOT related to the chosson and o If there will be subsidized parking, chuppah, mitzvah tantz, etc.). kallah or to each other. decorations obstruct visibility or make sure an attendant will be there to confirm the discounted o If the wedding is on Sunday, make o If there is a ceiling hatch above the safe driving. sure to have all clothing clean and chuppah, have it opened beforehand. parking for guests. o Provide breakfast for chosson and ready by Friday. o Determine when chosson puts on o Arrange bus, if needed. Confirm kallah the next morning. arrival and departure times, o Designate someone to take his kittel and/or overcoat. (Before making sure guests will have time emergency calls and answer calls for badeken, before chuppah, under the o Consider writing on placecards that chosson/kallah from out-of-town chuppah.) to dance with the ba’alei simcha guests can send pictures they’ve and eat before the bus departs. friends and relatives who couldn’t o Designate ushers to escort guests to Ask someone to handle bus attend. their seats. Designate someone to taken at the wedding to a special reservations. o Set up website, Skype, or Facetime direct the people in the procession email address for the wedding.

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 4 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH Items to Bring to the Hall o This checklist and a pen/pencil. o Fancy and regular kesuba. o Cell phones, chargers, camera, video o Car keys, house/apartment keys. o Labeled and numbered place cards. o Siddurim for mincha/maariv. camera. Remember to bring home! o Clothing to change into after Arrange for someone to set them o Bentchers. o Toys and (non-messy/non-sticky) wedding out. nosh to occupy kids in wedding party. o Bin with yarmukas, clips, bobby pins, o Checkbook/cash for vendors. o Seating charts, ordered by name and dolies, etc.. o Arches and shtick. o Tzedakah. table. o List of music for band. oIf it is the wedding of a youngest o Money for the badchan after each o Wedding program. daughter and the kallah’s family has o Earplugs for guests. Place in central dance. the tradition of a mezinke tantz, o Poems/grammen. location for easy access. bring crowns and brooms.

Toiletries/Supplies o Hair iron/blow dryer o Toothbrush and toothpaste o Tape wedding outfit, snacks, baby food, o Brush/comb/hair spray o Mirror o Needle and thread, extra buttons comfortable change of clothing/ pajamas o Deodorant/perfume/cologne o Chapstick o Small scissors o Mentally run through each family o Undergarments, if sweaty from o Hand cream o Shaitel box member from head to toe to make dancing o Nail clipper, nail file o For small children: diapers, wipes, sure you remember everything. o Makeup remover o Batteries stroller, blanket, bib to protect

Tish/Badeken o Make sure all valuables are in a safe rabbonim, etc. o Remind kallah’s father, grandfathers, and kallah. place. o Test microphone for tish room. etc. to give her brachos during o Verify that those with kibuddim or badeken. o Give each guest who approaches o Have a ceramic plate to be broken their backups are present you your full attention, thank them & a napkin. Know who has the o Make sure there are enough chairs o Review with announcer who has for coming and give them a bracha plate, and designate someone to set up at the badeken. kibbudim under the chuppah. (much nachas, only simchas, etc.) collect and distribute broken plate o Wrap the stems of the kallah’s o Verify pronunciation of names with o Arrange minyan for mincha. pieces. flowers so they don’t stain her the person who will be reading the o Reserve seats close to the chosson o Tenaim (2 copies). dress. kesuba. at the tish for grandparents, o Make tissues available for chosson

Items and Preparations for Chuppah o Chuppah poles. Tell those who will o Marriage license/marriage in area en-route to chuppah room flower girls. Have someone meet be holding the poles to come to certificate (2 copies), prenuptial so guests can help themselves. them at the end, seat them, and the chuppah room immediately agreement (if applicable). o Candles, holders, and matches/ collect their baskets. after the badeken. o Siddur or card with brachos, lighter for parents. o Runners and wires must lay flat, o Bag for kallah’s jewelry before kiddush cups (2), mevushal white o Thin glass wrapped in cloth napkin and be secured with double-stick chuppah, to be handed to a friend. wine or white grape juice and for breaking tape. Chosson should remove his watch, corkscrew, all placed close to o List of kibuddim given to o Kittel, (and tallis if minhag). cufflinks, etc. before chuppah, and chuppah on a small table. announcer. o Wedding ring/pillow for ring bearer. put in a safe place. o Program booklet/tefilos/tehillim. o Flashlight to read kesuba if o Besomim if minhag. o Kesuba and pens (plus an extra Appoint someone to distribute. necessary. copy). o Put out yarmulkas for guests. Place o Flower petals and baskets for

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 5 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH Things to Remember For the Chosson For the Kallah o Eat and drink sufficiently before fast begins on the day of the chasuna. o Eat and drink sufficiently before fast begins on the day of the o Mikvah. chasuna. o Daven mincha with viduy, early if possible. Use Yom Kippur machzor. o Mikvah. o Review words of Harei At Mikudeshes; remember to say it before o Daven mincha with viduy, early if possible. Use Yom Kippur machzor. putting the ring on the kallah’s finger. Place ring on her right index o Wear a button down blouse while hair and makup are being done to finger. avoid ruining it while changing into wedding dress. o Use caution when stomping on the glass. o Use the ladies’ room before putting on wedding dress. o Yichud gift for kallah, if applicable. o If kallah is Sefardi, make sure she knows when to stop walking down o Purchase and bring sefer, “Yom HaChuppah L’Chosson” . the aisle for chosson to meet her. o Kittel ( and overcoat, if applicable.) o Make sure kallah and mothers know to circle counter-clockwise o Chosson’s tallis for under chuppah, if applicable. around chosson, which direction to face for chuppah; kallah stands o Hat/strimel, hat box/strimel box. on chosson’s right when she finishes circling. o Cuff links, watch. o Yichud gift for chosson, if applicable. o Dancing shoes and/or sneakers, if applicable. o Tehillim and tefillos for kallah, and names to daven for. o Tzitzis, undergarments, socks, extra suit, shirt and tie, if will be sweaty o from dancing. Wedding dress, crinoline, tiara, veil, thicker veil (deck tichel) if minhag, stockings, shoes, extra makeup. o Tuxedo, suspenders/belt, tie/bow tie. o Blow dryer, iron, bobby pins, hair spray, etc. In overnight bag: o Jewelry, watch. o Suits, ties, and shirts for sheva brachos. o Dancing shoes and/or sneakers, if applicable. o Shoes and socks, undergarments. o Change of undergarments and stockings, if will be sweaty from o Shaver, toiletries, medications, if applicable. dancing. o Spare pair of glasses/contacts/lens solution. o Outfit for leaving hall. o Coat/raincoat (if applicable). o Tefillin, siddur, tallis, sefarim for divrei torah to say at sheva brachos. In overnight bag: o Wallet with cash and credit cards. o Spare pair of glasses/contacts/lens solution. o Phone and charger, phone number of Rabbi. o Toiletries and medications, if applicable o EZ Pass if traveling out of town, car registration and insurance card o Sheva brachos clothes and shoes. (not a copy), car keys/house keys/combination. o Shaitel, shaitel box, tichel/snood, and ponytail holder to put hair up. o Directions to where couple is staying overnight, and confirmation of reservation and/or payment. o Makeup, makeup remover, perfume. o Directions to minyan and davening times. o Coat/raincoat, rain bonnet for shaitel (if applicable). o Sheva brachos schedule: date, hosts, time, addresss, directions, meal: o Purse with cash, credit cards, car and house keys, if applicable. milchigs/fleishigs. o Phone and charger, phone number of kallah teacher. Before the Chuppah o Check that men and women’s begins. o Verify that the rabbi(s) and the ceremony begins. sections are clearly marked. o Give Yom Kippur bracha to the mesader kiddushin have o Designate a person to put the o Reserve seats at the front for chosson/kallah. approved the witnesses. glass under chosson’s foot while grandparents, honorees, and o Place ashes on chosson’s head and o Guide the kallah carefully, not blocking photo/video. those who require special help him into kittel. especially up or down steps. o Make sure any “Im Eshkachech” accommodations. o Untie all knots - shoelaces, neck o Make sure that everyone who is singers are near the chuppah, that o Verify that all honorees, rabbis, tie, etc. - and remove jewelry. participating under the chuppah is their microphone is working, and mesader kiddushin, approved up front and ready. that they know how to turn it on. o Make sure chosson has ownership witnesses, and announcer are of ring he will be giving to kallah o Test the microphone(s), and make present before the ceremony under chuppah. sure that it is turned on before

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 6 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH Tasks

During the Chuppah o Remind guests to TURN OFF them after the chuppah. they circle him. finger after the chuppah. cell phones, refrain from speaking o Ask mother of chosson to stand o Keep track of how many times o Kallah should hold her kesuba. She during chuppah, and be seated on the left, and mother of the the kallah circles the chosson. can give it to someone or place it in so as not to block the view of kallah on the right when circling Circle counter-clockwise. Kallah a safety deposit box afterwards. others. so that the mother of the kallah should be on chosson’s right o Remind couple to turn o Help elderly and disabled people doesn’t bum in to the chosson. when she finishes circling around after the chuppah for up steps. o If kallah has a long train, the o Remind kallah to have the ring photographer to take a shot with o Have someone collect lit candles mothers should hold it so the placed on her right index finger crowd. from the parents and extinguish chosson doesn’t get tangled up as and then move it to her left ring

After Chuppah/Yichud o Instruct chosson/kallah to move chosson and kallah arrive. o Make sure someone reliable has during band break. off of chuppah stage as soon o Know the most efficient route the kesuba and ensures that it is o Check that music sound level as the crowd of well-wishers to the yichud room. Arrange for given to the chosson and kallah is appropriate. approaches in case the stage before they leave the hall. someone to hold elevators, if o Knock on yichud room door cannot support the weight. necessary. o Ensure that someone helps when halachic time is satisfied. o Remind chosson and kallah to elderly guests to their seats at o Provide chosson with key to o Collect and return kallah’s jewelry. greet grandparents on way down yichud room if applicable. the meal. o Redo/fix kallah’s makeup. Assist from chuppah. o Remind family when and where to o If chosson and kallah cannot with shaitel if applicable. o Remind chosson/kallah about any descend steps to yichud room at go for pictures. Make sure elderly o Arrange for someone to collect minhagim for walking into the the same time, make sure to warn relatives and families with young the kittel, kiddush cups, siddur/ yichud room (e.g. silver spoon on them beforehand. children get photographed with threshold). the couple first. bentchers, tehillim booklets, etc. o Collect and keep broken glass, o Direct yichud room shomrim candles, and any other items left o Remind the band to set up to check the room before the after the chuppah for mementos. recorded music to be played

Provide Out-of-Town Guests With: o Clear directions for traveling not appear on a GPS. o Directions to local eateries. minyan times. home, especially if the hall is in o Directions to and from hall from o Local map/GPS. o Phone numbers of those they can an unusual or new place that may hosts’ homes or hotels. o Directions to local shuls, and their call for other local information.

. After Wedding , COORDINATOR: CUT AND USE THIS LIST DURING THE WEDDING THE DURING LIST THIS USE AND CUT COORDINATOR:

o If a bus has been arranged, make o Pay and thank shadchan. o Arrange for food from wedding kiddush cups, wedding presents, sure the person coordinating has o Gratuities to appropriate to be packed up for family or the cell phones, chargers, cameras, the band announce clearly when people. needy. laptops used for skype etc., the bus will depart starting 30 pictures, signs, bentchers/siddurim, o Make sure the kallah knows o USB minutes before departure, at ten tehilim, shtick, wedding clothing, where her kesubah is and has o EZ Pass for the car. minute intervals. powder room baskets. access to it. o Take from the hall: glass from o Get the wine and bentchers, find o Empty safe/safety deposit box and o Arrange for someone to take under the chuppah, plate, signed the bentching leader and signal return keys. home wedding dress, gifts, and marriage license, flowers forsheva him to begin. lost and found items. brachos, liquor, any valuables, i.e.

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 7 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH Wedding Honors Wedding Honors

. Tenaim , Name Title & Position Backup

Eidei Tenaim (2)______Reading the Tenaim______Eidei Kesuba (2)______. Chuppah , Name Title & Position Backup

Announcer/Introducer ______

Chuppah Pole Holders (4, if needed)______

Chosson’s Procession______

Chosson’s Baruch Haba/Mi Adir Singer(s)______

Misader Kiddushin/Rabbi ______

Flower Girls______

Kallah’s Procession Brucha Habaa/Mi Von Siach______

Eidei Kiddushin (2)______

Name Title & Position Backup

Reading of Kesuba ______

Speaker (optional)______COORDINATOR: CUT AND USE THIS LIST DURING THE WEDDING THE DURING LIST THIS USE AND CUT COORDINATOR:

______הגפן Sheva Bracha #1 Hagafen

______*שהכל ברא Shehakol Bara #2

______יוצר האדם Yotzer Ha’adam #3

______אשר יצר Asher Yatzar #4

______שוש תשיש Sos Tasis #5

______שמח תשמח Sameach Tesamach #6

______אשר ברא Asher Bara #7

Optional, depending on Minhag:

______אם אשכחך (Im Eshkachech Singer(s #8

______שיר המעלות (Shir Hama’alos (if applicable #9

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 8 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH Wedding Honors Wedding Honors

. Post Chuppah , Eidei Yichud (2)______

. Meal/Bentching , Hamotzi**______

Toast for Chosson/Kallah (optional)______

Family Speeches (optional)______

Bentching Leader (Same person as bracha #7)______

Sheva Brachos Coordinator (Passes cup to those honored)______

______שהכל ברא Bracha #1: Shehakol Bara

______יוצר האדם Bracha #2: Yotzer Ha’adam

______אשר יצר Bracha #3: Asher Yatzar

______שוש תשיש Bracha #4: Sos Tasis

______שמח תשמח Bracha #5: Sameach Tesamach

______אשר ברא Bracha #6: Asher Bara

______(Same person as bentching) הגפן Bracha #7: Borei Pri Hagafen

*Some (mainly in Israel) have the minhag to have the first honoree recite the first 2b rachos, Hagafen and Shehakol Bara. ** The chosson is generally honored with Hamotzi at the meal.

Be sure to thank the parents, in-laws, grandparents, relatives, out-of-town/country guests, Rabbis, schools, Roshei Yeshiva, close friends, vendors, wedding coordinator, shadchan, mesader kidushin, etc. for being an important part of your beautiful simcha!

.Thank You,

See our other guides on simchos and security: Bris Checklist, Yom Kippur Checklist, Stay Safe in Israel, Keep Your School Safe, Keep Your Shul Safe, and the list goes on!

CHESED FUND/PROJECT EZRA PRESENTS: 9 THE DAY OF YOUR CHASUNAH

Chosson ���������� Hors D’Oeuvres ���������� Yichud ______Estimated Bus

Chosson �� Hors D’Oeuvres �� Yichud ______Estimated Bus