Open Forum? Chomicle columnists face off on campus issues. For the inside scoop, see Corn- THE CHOMICLE mentary, page 13. FRIDAY, MARCH 31,1995 © ONE COPY FREE DUKE UNIVERSITY DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA CIRCULATION; 15,000 VOL. 90, NO. 122 Kohane reverses decision on North Campus housing By ALISON STUBBY "Heck, I'd pitch my tent for a cover the area between the ten­ Stupid Government Attorney "If Salon Salasy. Wants to In response to a tirade of com­ date with the Ice Queen," nis courts and the gym; and General Levi Orchard was bring. The largest. Burger plaints, President Nan Kohane Kohane said. Money Site will run adjacent to asked to preside over the draw­ King. In the country. To Duke has decided to shelf her plan to The housing assignment the tennis courts. There was ing, but she declined. University. Why can't Salon house independent sophomores would cost each student $65 for some debate about the naming "I object to a policy that will Salasy. Do this?," he said. How­ on North Campus in favor of a University-provided tent and of the fourth campsite, but compel students to resort to ever, the Medical Center has transforming Shechefskiville $40 for a yearlong supply of gar­ eventually "Newt Site" was dirty tactics for the sake of good requested the space to open a into a permanent residential bage cans, garbage bags and settled on since its namesake seats at basketball games," Or­ new research facility on the quad. thermal underwear. Students will still be a sophomore when chard said. "However, if the free physiological impact of dogs Kohane anticipates initial can request a single, double, construction begins this sum­ date were with Brain Throbson, and grapes. skepticism about the plan from triple, quintuple or mer. I might be willing to compro­ In the meantime, though, most students, but she feels dodecatuple. Kohane announced that the mise." Salasy announced that he could that they will be persuaded The quad itself would be di­ lottery for space in the new Despite the new plan, the is­ arrange a special discount on when they learn of its benefits: vided into four separate camp quad would be held on Easter sue of what to do with North garbage bags for any student guaranteed seats next to the sites, each named after sopho­ Sunday or after El Lardo Campus remains to be resolved. interested in working on his band at every game and a date mores on the basketball team: Furness crosses the finish line Salon Salasy argued for the es­ next political campaign. And with line-monitor Langdon Site will run adjacent in Nan's upcoming Fun Run, tablishment of Super Burger Christopher Gross offered to extraordinaire Sara Lee Cone. to Card Gym; Wojo Site will whichever comes first. Duke King Complex. See NORTH on page 11 • President reinstates key position By DOGATE MYHOMEWORK Kluhane said. that I've made a mistake. And Just a week after announc­ Students, alumni and faculty if thousands of students set up ing her decision to abolish one who had attacked Kluhane's tents on the quad and demand ofthe University's most presti­ original move said they were my resignation for something I gious athletic programs, Presi­ with her new decision. think is wrong, I know how to dent No Kluhane said Thurs­ 'She has made it crystal clear deal with that; that was not the day that she will reinstate the that she intends to include a the case this time." varsity men's basketball team. comprehensive conditioning Kluhane says the incident Speaking to more than 9,000 - program to get the team back has taught her that she needs furious fans in Cameroon In­ up to speed," said Dr, Brenda to be better informed when door Stadium, Kluhane apolo­ Strongarm, associate professor making decisions about Univer­ gized for failing to understand of sports cardiology and chair sity priorities. the significance and popularity ofthe Medical Center's basket­ "For whatever reason, our of­ of the basketball program be­ ball boosters club. "And for that fice files are not perfect," she fore eliminating it. reason, I think, finally, we may said. "I think El Lardo Furness "I hadn't realized we won two have an ACC win on the road." used the basketball file as a national championships in the Kluhane announced her de­ placemat for his pizza one early '90s," Kluhane said. "I cision last week to abolish the night, and no one ever put it thought every child in this basketball team and appoint back." country owns Duke shirts and Coach Nike Kzezewsakij as a Deprived of any statistics on caps because they're fans of our professor ofthe practice in the men's basketball before this fine primatology department." Medical Center's physical year, Kluhane said she relied on Nevertheless, Kluhane re­ therapy clinic. She did not ask Spurts Illustrated's "Death ofa mains convinced that the post anyone about the move, saying Dynasty" story in assessing of head men's basketball coach the new post for Coach niKe whether or not to preserve the SPECIAL TO THE CHOMICLE needs to be changed. "The was "a personnel decision." program. whole thing that was the impe­ Commenting on her move to "At Wellheynowsley, we Junior? tus for the announcement was reinstate the program, Kluhane didn't have Division I sports. Hospital COO Mike Palestine checks on John Fumess's preg­ my belief, which I stand by, that said, "I have no qualms about The only thing I knew about nancy as egg donor Mo'Reene Cullins looks on. this was not a workable job," admitting publicly and visibly See DECISION on page 18 Ik- Speed II: Bomber Chairs to speak at graduations By HILLARY CLINTON dignitaries like Billy Joel, Toni opportunity. "Now I might be takes on saferides In a move startling to many Morrison and Colin Powell, from Kentucky, but that doesn't By SANDRA BULLOCK shot. There's a bomb on your members ofthe University com­ even the First Lady to speak at mean I can't see an excellent Former Duke student bus— " munity, officials have signed a graduation." opportunity when I see one," he Claymation Peterson con­ "Now. technically, this contract with University aca­ University Emcee Pelham told his class Thursday. "It was tinued his reign of terror here's a van," Scarlett po­ demic department chairs, al­ Wildman, the man charged the noted historian C. Vann over campus yesterday litely interrupted. lowing them to deliver the next with recruiting graduation Woodward, class, who said 'if when he rigged a SafeRides "Say what!" Peterson re­ ten commencement addresses. speakers, was also excitied you give the black man a voice, van to explode if it dropped torted. "Say hey, I'm talking President Nano Kahones about the new contract. "It he will spread wisdom to the below 50 mph. to you, meathead. Do not at­ made the announcement yester­ makes my job a hell of a lot masses.'Now ifC. Vann said it, SafeRides driver Scarlett tempt to grow a brain. You day in a statement to the press. easier," the longtime professor I tend to believe him," O'Hare was calmly cruising just reached 50, so the bomb "I think it is a splendid idea said. "I'm pretty much sick of Kahones announcement down Chapel Drive at 11 is armed. Once it drops be­ to have some of the most tal­ getting rejected by every big­ comes in the wake of much dis­ p.m. last night and munch­ low 50, it blows up. ented scholarly minds in the wig in the nation." Wildman appointment among students ing on one of his wife's deli­ Whaddaya do, Jack? country speak annually for our has named George Correct, about the recent choice of pub­ cious jelly biscuits when a Whaddaya do?" graduating seniors," Kahones chair ofthe African-American lic policy and communications strange voice came over his "Well, I don't want to said. "In the changing face of studies department, as next guru David Gurgle as this walkie-talkie: "Pop quiz, hot See SPEED on page 12 • higher learning, it may no year's commencement speaker. year's graduation speaker. longer be the best move to ask Correct was upbeat about the See SPEAKERS on page 17 • THE CHOMICLE FRIDAY, MARCH 31, 1995 The whole ball o' wax Newsfile Hillary to Noot: I want to be your bitch Associated Press By CARL BERNSTEIN dering "the agony of being married to a Washington dashed by the inability of "a TySOIl performs: A theater com­ WASHINGTON - In a stunning de­ man whose first name is a cowardly 'Bill', Grand Old Putz incapable of cleaning up pany has announced plans to launch velopment on Capitol Hill this afternoon, all the while knowing that a lion-hearted after himself." a national tour of "Oleanna: A Power a desperate love letter written by the First 'Noot' was within my reach." Senate majority leader Bob Dolt said Play" starring former heavyweight champion boxer and convicted Lady and directed at Speaker of the Dissatisfied with Roger Clinrod, the that because of the seriousness ofthe ac­ sexual assaultist Mike Tyson. House Noot Getrich was discovered in the president's brother, ("All that moron could cusation, an inquiry into the situation powerful Republican's office. do is blow that horn of his," Mrs. Clinrod would be held to discuss to the possibil­ King retires: The Burger King The letter was found by Dr. Jocular wrote) the First Lady felt that the time ity of holding a hearing to determine has announced plans to abdicate his Eldest, who had been walking past was right for change.