2 REFRESHED | November 2014 contents FEATURES 6 Bags of blessings Young girl uses brain tumor experience to bring comfort to others 10 Radically redeemed Once abused and broken, Tony Pallotto now rescues teens in trouble 12 Responding to Ebola How we can help 6 15 Soul for soles Local tween collects 2,000 pairs 10 of shoes for charity 16 Are you parenting with empathy or anxiety? How parents unwittingly contribute to a child’s emotional stress 12 28 Being thankful, no matter the view DEPARTMENTS 19 Outtakes 20 Tunes 21 Community news COLUMNS 5 Dean Nelson | in plain sight 23 Mark Larson | on the mark 24 Kimberly Ruby | here’s to good health 23 25 Daniel Jenkins | reality check 26 26 Janice Thompson | on the money 27 Michael Foust | purposeful parenting 28 Chico Goff | inspired living 30 Joanne Brokaw | that’s life! 25 November 2014 | REFRESHED 3 Download a digital version CHILD CUSTODY & Support of Refreshed magazine for Law Office of convenient viewing on your Patrick L. McCrary favorite digital device. refreshedmag.com 34 YEARS OF FAMILY LAW EXPERIENCE Also handling… Divorce and Property Division 222 W. Madison, El Cajon | (619) 589-8533 Named by the San Diego Daily Transcript as a San Diego County Top Attorney 2008 The tree of knowledge begins with literacy ,ITERACY&IRST#HARTER3CHOOLS A community where… VOLUME 1 | NUMBER 11 s ,ITERACYINCLUDESCULTUREANDLANGUAGE PUBLISHERS Lamar & Theresa Keener s !LLCHILDRENAREKNOWN EDITOR Lori Arnold s !LLSTAFFISINVESTEDINTHESUCCESSOFEACHINDIVIDUAL PROOFREADER Lis Trouten s %DUCATIONALSUCCESSISEXPECTEDFORALLSTUDENTS AD SALES Lamar Keener s #HILDRENAREEMBRACEDASUNIQUEANDCREATIVE INDIVIDUALS CONTRIBUTORS Joanne Brokaw, Chico Goff, Michael Foust, Daniel Jenkins, Mark Larson, s 0ARENTSAREVALUEDASANINTEGRALPARTOFTHE Carol LeBeau, Dean Nelson, Kimberly Ruby, TEAM Janice Thompson s 2ESEARCHPROVENMETHODSANDTECHNIQUES ADVISORY BOARD Mark Rasche, Nelson Keener, AREEMPLOYED Carl Schreiber, Brandon Ruby s 4ECHNOLOGYISINTEGRATEDINTOTHESCHOOL Copyright © 2014 Selah Media Group ROUTINE Refreshed is an in de pen dent, faith-based magazine s %DUCATIONISVIEWEDASAPROCESS NOT pub lished monthly by Selah Media Group. 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Usually when that hap- was a widow who kept coming to the enced a shooting, my heart sank. pens to me in a crowd of journalists, it judge, saying, “Grant me justice against One reason my heart sank was that is a photographer asking me to move to my opponent.” He refused at fi rst, but the shootings at Columbine High School one side or another for a better picture. was worn down by the woman, so he in Colorado had occurred just two years Without turning around, I leaned a little fi nally granted her justice. It’s a story before, and I thought, “Here we go to my left to accommodate what I pre- about how we are constantly confronted again. Why does this keep happening?” sumed to be a colleague. by grace—grace that pursues, invades, The second reason was that, as a par- The hand remained. initiates. We are the judge in this story, ent, I thought of my own kids who were So I moved a little to the right. Still and grace continuously approaches us, in San Diego schools at the time, and no change. It didn’t put pressure on like the insistent woman, demanding news of yet another shooting made me me. It wasn’t trying to get me to move. that we do it justice by seeing it. It is fearful for them. It just stayed there, and I let it remain grace that both pursues and precedes, The third was that, as a member of while I did my work. and it bends us toward God. the news media, I knew that the cover- When I was done talking to the girls, When we’re paying attention, we see age had the potential for sensational- I thanked them, and the other report- that grace is breaking into our everyday izing, demonizing and creating a media ers moved on. I turned around to see moments—even the terrible ones—mak- circus. Stories like this are so senseless who was behind me. It was my neighbor, ing them different, making them sacred, and tragic that I approach them with a from another part of certain amount of dread. the city, whose kids Still, I thought it was important that are in school with When we’re paying attention, we see I cover it because I thought perhaps I my kids. He works that grace is breaking into our everyday could provide understanding for some- with Young Life and thing that seemed so unexplainable and had come to the moments—even the terrible ones—making painful. school to help with I got to the school, where workers ministry after the at- them different, making them sacred, from several emergency vehicles were tack. But he saw me, drawing us into the presence of God. still sorting things out. Hundreds of stu- and decided to come dents milled around, waiting for parents along on my task whose primal instincts had been trig- and pray for me as I talked to witnesses drawing us into the presence of God. gered. Two people had been killed and of the shooting. That hand on my shoulder wasn’t 13 were wounded in the shooting before I saw his actions as God saying, “I got anyone saying, “You’re in my way.” It the student with the gun was stopped. I here before you. I am in the middle of was God saying, “I am on your way. See approached two girls, identifi ed myself this whole, terrible situation. I am here me everywhere.” Let’s do grace justice. as a reporter and asked if I could ask for the victims, the families, the shooter, them a few questions. the emergency workers, and the report- One knew the shooter well. They ers. Even in the senseless events, where both had seen the bodies in the hallway. there seems to be nothing good, I am Dean Nelson directs the It was a terrifying sight for them, yet, here.” journalism program at through their tears, they wanted to talk The activity of God was present—and Point Loma Nazarene about it. thorough—expressed with a hand on a University in San Diego. As I wrote down their comments in shoulder. His book about seeing my notebook, a small group of reporters Eugene Peterson said, “Long before I God in everyday life is gathered. Television cameras zoomed arrive on the scene, the Spirit is at work. “God Hides in Plain Sight: in. Other reporters asked questions. I must fi t into what is going on.” How to See the Sacred in a Chaotic World.” November 2014 | REFRESHED 5 Bagsblessings of Young girl uses brain tumor experience to bring comfort to others by LORI ARNOLD ou won’t fi nd words like resec- the bedsides of her peers, she has plenty Association, astrocytomas are tumors tion, anesthesiologist, magneto- of experiences to share. that “arise from astrocytes—star-shaped Yencephalography and pilocytic cells that make up the ‘glue-like’ or sup- astrocytoma on a second-grade spell- • • • portive tissue of the brain.” Tumors in ing test, yet they quickly became part the grade that Alyssa has are gener- of young Alyssa McElfresh’s vocabulary Alyssa was just 7 when her parents, ally slow-growing and typically do not after doctors discovered a brain tumor in Ryan and Sandra McElfresh, took her to spread. her left temporal lobe. the eye doctor for a routine eye exam “I wasn’t really sure what it was,” she “I was scared and we questioned Jesus in 2008. After discovering that Alyssa’s said. “I freaked out about it, but then my and we were mad at Him but through my vision was severely impaired in her right mom and dad told me—and this is how I journey we found out that He gave me eye, the doctor ordered an MRI.