Refreshed SD 11.14.Indd
2 REFRESHED | November 2014 contents
FEATURES 6 Bags of blessings Young girl uses brain tumor experience to bring comfort to others 10 Radically redeemed Once abused and broken, Tony Pallotto now rescues teens in trouble 12 Responding to Ebola How we can help 6 15 Soul for soles Local tween collects 2,000 pairs 10 of shoes for charity 16 Are you parenting with empathy or anxiety? How parents unwittingly contribute to a child’s emotional stress 12 28 Being thankful, no matter the view
DEPARTMENTS 19 Outtakes 20 Tunes 21 Community news
COLUMNS
5 Dean Nelson | in plain sight 23 Mark Larson | on the mark 24 Kimberly Ruby | here’s to good health 23 25 Daniel Jenkins | reality check 26 26 Janice Thompson | on the money 27 Michael Foust | purposeful parenting 28 Chico Goff | inspired living 30 Joanne Brokaw | that’s life! 25
November 2014 | REFRESHED 3 Download a digital version CHILD CUSTODY & Support of Refreshed magazine for Law Office of convenient viewing on your Patrick L. McCrary favorite digital device. refreshedmag.com 34 YEARS OF FAMILY LAW EXPERIENCE Also handling… Divorce and Property Division 222 W. Madison, El Cajon | (619) 589-8533
Named by the San Diego Daily Transcript as a San Diego County Top Attorney 2008
The tree of knowledge begins with literacy ,ITERACY &IRST #HARTER 3CHOOLS
A community where… VOLUME 1 | NUMBER 11 s ,ITERACY INCLUDES CULTURE AND LANGUAGE PUBLISHERS Lamar & Theresa Keener s !LL CHILDREN ARE KNOWN EDITOR Lori Arnold s !LL STAFF IS INVESTED IN THE SUCCESS OF EACH INDIVIDUAL PROOFREADER Lis Trouten s %DUCATIONAL SUCCESS IS EXPECTED FOR ALL STUDENTS AD SALES Lamar Keener s #HILDREN ARE EMBRACED AS UNIQUE AND CREATIVE INDIVIDUALS CONTRIBUTORS Joanne Brokaw, Chico Goff, Michael Foust, Daniel Jenkins, Mark Larson, s 0ARENTS ARE VALUED AS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE Carol LeBeau, Dean Nelson, Kimberly Ruby, TEAM Janice Thompson s 2ESEARCH PROVEN METHODS AND TECHNIQUES ADVISORY BOARD Mark Rasche, Nelson Keener, ARE EMPLOYED Carl Schreiber, Brandon Ruby s 4ECHNOLOGY IS INTEGRATED INTO THE SCHOOL Copyright © 2014 Selah Media Group ROUTINE Refreshed is an in de pen dent, faith-based magazine s %DUCATION IS VIEWED AS A PROCESS NOT published monthly by Selah Media Group. It is distributed A PRODUCT in bulk, free of charge, to hundreds of locations throughout San Diego County. For a 1-year mail subscription, send $24.95 to the address below or visit refreshedmag.com. Refreshed welcomes story ideas. All unsolicited material is subject to approval of the publishers and is not returned. Viewpoints expressed in Refreshed are those of their Call the registrar for respective writers, and are not necessarily held by the enrollment information: publishers. (619) 668-2134 Reasonable effort is made to screen advertisers, but no endorsement of the publishers is implied or should be www.lfcsinc.org inferred. The publishers can accept no responsibility for the products or services offered through ad ver tise ments. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any ad ver tis ing. Literacy First School locations ADDRESS ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: P. O. Box 2606, El Cajon, CA 92021 Primary Academy (K-3) Liberty Academy (K-6) Junior Academy (4-8) Liberty Charter High 799 E. Washington Ave. 698 W. Main St. 1012 E. Bradley Ave. School (9-12) E-MAIL [email protected] El Cajon, CA 92020 El Cajon, CA 92020 El Cajon, CA 92021 8425 Palm St. PHONE/FAX (619) 567-7811 (619) 579-7232 (619) 579-7233 (619) 596-5665 Lemon Grove, CA 91945 (619) 668-2131 AD SALES (619) 567-7811
4 REFRESHED | November 2014 in plain sight
DEAN NELSON
Grace at work—even in tragedy
When the National Desk of The New It didn’t get out of control, but it was Jesus drives home this point with the York Times called me several years ago pretty intense. story he tells about a judge who had lit- and asked if I could hurry to a high While this was going on, I felt a hand tle regard for God or people. In his city school in San Diego that had experi- on my shoulder. Usually when that hap- was a widow who kept coming to the enced a shooting, my heart sank. pens to me in a crowd of journalists, it judge, saying, “Grant me justice against One reason my heart sank was that is a photographer asking me to move to my opponent.” He refused at fi rst, but the shootings at Columbine High School one side or another for a better picture. was worn down by the woman, so he in Colorado had occurred just two years Without turning around, I leaned a little fi nally granted her justice. It’s a story before, and I thought, “Here we go to my left to accommodate what I pre- about how we are constantly confronted again. Why does this keep happening?” sumed to be a colleague. by grace—grace that pursues, invades, The second reason was that, as a par- The hand remained. initiates. We are the judge in this story, ent, I thought of my own kids who were So I moved a little to the right. Still and grace continuously approaches us, in San Diego schools at the time, and no change. It didn’t put pressure on like the insistent woman, demanding news of yet another shooting made me me. It wasn’t trying to get me to move. that we do it justice by seeing it. It is fearful for them. It just stayed there, and I let it remain grace that both pursues and precedes, The third was that, as a member of while I did my work. and it bends us toward God. the news media, I knew that the cover- When I was done talking to the girls, When we’re paying attention, we see age had the potential for sensational- I thanked them, and the other report- that grace is breaking into our everyday izing, demonizing and creating a media ers moved on. I turned around to see moments—even the terrible ones—mak- circus. Stories like this are so senseless who was behind me. It was my neighbor, ing them different, making them sacred, and tragic that I approach them with a from another part of certain amount of dread. the city, whose kids Still, I thought it was important that are in school with When we’re paying attention, we see I cover it because I thought perhaps I my kids. He works that grace is breaking into our everyday could provide understanding for some- with Young Life and thing that seemed so unexplainable and had come to the moments—even the terrible ones—making painful. school to help with I got to the school, where workers ministry after the at- them different, making them sacred, from several emergency vehicles were tack. But he saw me, drawing us into the presence of God. still sorting things out. Hundreds of stu- and decided to come dents milled around, waiting for parents along on my task whose primal instincts had been trig- and pray for me as I talked to witnesses drawing us into the presence of God. gered. Two people had been killed and of the shooting. That hand on my shoulder wasn’t 13 were wounded in the shooting before I saw his actions as God saying, “I got anyone saying, “You’re in my way.” It the student with the gun was stopped. I here before you. I am in the middle of was God saying, “I am on your way. See approached two girls, identifi ed myself this whole, terrible situation. I am here me everywhere.” Let’s do grace justice. as a reporter and asked if I could ask for the victims, the families, the shooter, them a few questions. the emergency workers, and the report- One knew the shooter well. They ers. Even in the senseless events, where both had seen the bodies in the hallway. there seems to be nothing good, I am Dean Nelson directs the It was a terrifying sight for them, yet, here.” journalism program at through their tears, they wanted to talk The activity of God was present—and Point Loma Nazarene about it. thorough—expressed with a hand on a University in San Diego. As I wrote down their comments in shoulder. His book about seeing my notebook, a small group of reporters Eugene Peterson said, “Long before I God in everyday life is gathered. Television cameras zoomed arrive on the scene, the Spirit is at work. “God Hides in Plain Sight: in. Other reporters asked questions. I must fi t into what is going on.” How to See the Sacred in a Chaotic World.”
November 2014 | REFRESHED 5 Bagsblessings of Young girl uses brain tumor experience to bring comfort to others by LORI ARNOLD
ou won’t fi nd words like resec- the bedsides of her peers, she has plenty Association, astrocytomas are tumors tion, anesthesiologist, magneto- of experiences to share. that “arise from astrocytes—star-shaped Yencephalography and pilocytic cells that make up the ‘glue-like’ or sup- astrocytoma on a second-grade spell- • • • portive tissue of the brain.” Tumors in ing test, yet they quickly became part the grade that Alyssa has are gener- of young Alyssa McElfresh’s vocabulary Alyssa was just 7 when her parents, ally slow-growing and typically do not after doctors discovered a brain tumor in Ryan and Sandra McElfresh, took her to spread. her left temporal lobe. the eye doctor for a routine eye exam “I wasn’t really sure what it was,” she “I was scared and we questioned Jesus in 2008. After discovering that Alyssa’s said. “I freaked out about it, but then my and we were mad at Him but through my vision was severely impaired in her right mom and dad told me—and this is how I journey we found out that He gave me eye, the doctor ordered an MRI. understood what a tumor was—it’s extra this tumor to share my testimony.” “That’s when they found out I had a tissue in your brain that you don’t need.” Alyssa, who turns 13 this month, brain tumor,” Alyssa said with the clini- The tumor, which Alyssa named “Ol- has become somewhat of an ambassa- cal certainty of someone who should ivia,” was situated in a diffi cult spot and dor for children dealing with pediatric be much too young to know about such her neurologist determined that sur- brain tumors. Four times a year she and matters. gery would likely compromise her motor her mother lovingly stuff goodies into The tumor was diagnosed as pilocytic skills. “Blessings Bags” that they deliver to astrocytoma, a grade one plum-size be- “Her sight fi bers, the fi bers for vital children in the pediatrics unit at Naval nign mass on the left side of her brain. function, were laying right on top of the Medical Center San Diego. As she visits According to the American Brain Tumor tumor,” Sandra said. “That is one of the
6 REFRESHED | November 2014 reasons why the prognosis was that she was not going to see or that she wouldn’t have her memory or would have gait is- sues.” Because of the dangers, doctors de- cided to wait on surgery, opting instead to monitoring the tumor’s growth. “He didn’t want me to have surgery PHOTO BY NENA STERNER until it grew or I had seizures because he wanted to preserve my quality of life,” Alyssa McElfresh relaxes in the grass during a family photo shoot earlier this year. The pictures were taken Alyssa offered matter-of-factly. prior to her last surgery to remove a benign brain tumor. So a four-year waiting game, dotted with doctor’s appointments and endless fi bers intact in an effort to lessen post- start growing; so this time he took out tests, ensued. In the meantime, Alyssa’s op defi cits. my whole left temporal lobe,” she said, parents tried to maintain as much nor- “After my surgery I wasn’t supposed Doctors are confi dent that with the malcy as possible. Alyssa, a student at to be talking, walking or seeing and I’m cell cluster and temporal lobe removed, Santee’s Pride Academy, enrolled in doing all of that,” she said. the tumor will not return this time. On dance and Girl Scouts, while her older Sandra said that after reviewing a the slight chance it does, radiation will sister, Taylor, learned how to drive. And post-operative MRI the neurosurgeon, be the treatment plan. when their dad, a chief assigned to the a practicing Christian, said Alyssa’s re- “If it comes back we would see symp- Navy’s antisubmarine warfare division, covery was beyond what he could have toms right away, like slurred speech or was deployed to Iraq, Sandra assumed hoped for her. blindness or trouble walking,” her mom dual roles at home. “So basically what you are telling me said. By fall 2012, however, the tumor is that it’s a miracle that she’s speaking “Each surgery, of course, he’s (the forced the doctor’s hand and Alyssa’s and that she’s seeing and that she can doctor) going to tell us the worst-case fi rst surgery was scheduled for that Oc- move her toes or whatever,” she told the scenario of what the prognosis would tober. He prepared the family for the doctor in response. be, but we always had that faith and that likelihood that she would have signifi - But by late last year, the tumor had trust that she was going to come out just cant defi cits impacting her speech and grown back even deeper, prompting doc- as whole as she was when she went in. He mobility, and perhaps causing even more tors to schedule another surgery this agrees it’s a God thing, that it’s nothing damage to her sight than her already past January. During Alyssa’s pre-op that he did. God used his hands and God blind right eye. appointment, however, doctors found a guided him, but it’s all a God thing. She “I was nervous of course, because it surprise. shouldn’t be walking, talking. She should was my fi rst surgery,” Alyssa said. “In three weeks the tumor shrunk and be in a wheelchair and she’s not. It’s just Some of her jitters were eased by a moved closer to the surface,” Alyssa said. a blessing.” brown bear, gifted to her with its own “Brain tumors don’t do that, so we knew Remarkably, Alyssa has had minimal hospital gown by a representative from that God did that.” effects with the removal of the tempo- the Brain Tumor Society. Unlike the fi rst surgery, in this one ral lobe. She continues to have recall “I’ve had her ever since I was diag- the doctors were able to remove all of issues, which are expected to ease over nosed,” Alyssa said. “I named her Faith. the tumor. And yet, only a few months time. She giggles when describing her Ever since then I always sleep with her. I later, they were stunned to fi nd another diffi culty with certain words, mixing up take her to all of my surgeries, all of my growth in the same location. Alyssa un- Michigan and missionaries, and pretzel MRIs.” derwent her third surgery in June. and bell pepper. Also helping her was the pre-op med- “My doctor found out that there is a It is unlikely, though, that she will ications that made her “loopy.” group of cells up above where he takes ever regain sight in her right eye. During the surgery, her doctor left out my tumor and every single time he “It doesn’t really bother me,” Alyssa remnants of the tumor around her vital took out a tumor one would drop and said. “With both of my eyes open I can
November 2014 | REFRESHED 7 the annual National Brain Tumor Society Walk. Supported by dozens of friends and family members who walk with her, Alys- sa has raised about $12,000 in four walks. “It’s fun walking with my friends,” she said. “I go up and speak and share my testimony.” Several weeks ago she was also one of the stars of the day for the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation Ride for Kids. PHOTO BY AMY CARABAJAL Alyssa and several other pediatric pa- A favorite hobby of Alyssa McElfresh, right, is performing with her elite dance troupe, which helps her to keep tients enjoyed an outing that included her mind off of her health. a one- to two-hour escorted motorcycle ride. see perfectly fi ne.” and story—including her prescription for Fully recovered and able to do any Although in the clear for now, Alyssa fear—render comfort to tired and fright- non-contact sport or activity, Alyssa and her mom still make trips back to the ened children. also remains busy by volunteering at hospital every three months for testing “I learned that I can’t be scared and her church’s Parents Night Out evenings and MRIs. do an activity at the same time, so that’s as well as with the junior high worship They don’t enter the hospital empty- why I pray,” she said. “So when I pray to team. Hoping to become a kindergarten handed. Jesus and talk to Him everything is bet- teacher, she also helps out in the nurs- ter and I’m not scared anymore. When I ery. • • • pray to Him my worry is gone because I “I like working with kids,” she said. can’t pray to Him and be worried at the “At my church I work with the toddlers During her surgical stays at Naval same time.” and I like to babysit.” Medical Center Alyssa would often play Giving back has been a critical part of Pastor Phil Herrington of Pathways hangman with her parents, fi ll in her col- the healing process. Community Church said that over the oring books or draw on blank paper she “It’s been a journey and we learned a years he’s frequently observed people brought to keep busy. Her iPod joined lot and Alyssa is able to share that with going through major crises. He marvels Faith the bear as a welcome companion. other kids her age,” Sandra said. at Alyssa. But as she walked the halls of the pedi- In addition to her Blessing Bag min- “The ones who weather their storm atric ward Alyssa observed that many of istry, Alyssa has formed Flip Flops and best are those who keep their focus on her ailing peers were bored. Polka Dots, her own fundraising team for God and others,” he said. “Alyssa has “When I was in the hospital we no- amazingly found purpose in her pain- ticed that there were kids that didn’t ful experience. She and her family have have anything to do,” Alyssa said. transformed a recurring brain tumor into She shared her discovery with her a ministry to others. They offer comfort mom, who offered up a solution she saw and hope with the comfort they have re- on the Internet: toiletry bags with good- ceived from God and His people.” ies for the homeless. They modifi ed the At home she enjoys baking with her idea for the needs of young patients. mom and cooking with Dad. Her dream is “My mom and I thought to call it to win a contestant slot on the Food Net- Blessing Bags,” she said. “So we had work’s “Rachael vs. Guy: Kids Cook-Off.” people donate stuff like crayons, color- ing books and stuffed animals.” Alyssa sits by some Blessing Bags she prepared for • • • As she distributes the bags, she visits children at Naval Medical Center San Diego, where with each patient, hoping that her gift she was being treated for a brain tumor. Food is defi nitely on her mind as her
8 REFRESHED | November 2014 “There’s been times that we ques- tioned, like when she was fi rst diag- nosed. Why Alyssa? And then there’s al- ways that question why was she spared… when others aren’t.” Those and other questions are on her list when she fi nally sees Jesus in heaven. “But it’s not about that now,” she said. :It’s about how we can help others, bring comfort and be the hands and feet to others through her journey.” Alyssa agrees. “I feel like I got closer to Jesus,” she PHOTO BY BRIAN “TINK” TINKLER said. “Lots of people have told me that I Alyssa McElfresh and several of her peers were escorted for the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation Ride for have inspired them.” ■ Kids, held in September. family anticipates this year’s Thanks- Milestone timeline for Alyssa McElfresh giving feast, the most hopeful in recent Nov. 2008 - Routine eye exam reveals severe impairment in right eye years. And although she can’t wait to dig into the pumpkin and apple pies, Dec. 2008 – MRI she’s also cognizant of the much deeper Dec. 12, 2008 - Diagnosed with a brain tumor in left temporal lobe. Alyssa will be meaning of the holiday. monitored through MRI every few months for brain tumor growth. Because “I’m thankful for my family and I’m Alyssa’s tumor is located in an area contributing to a poor prognosis, her thankful for Jesus and I’m thankful for family decides to monitor and not do surgery until it begins to grow my friends, my teachers, and I’m thank- Oct. 1, 2012 - First brain surgery to remove tumor after previous MRI showed ful for meeting other kids with brain new growth tumors, too, so I didn’t feel alone,” she Nov. 19, 2012 - Alyssa celebrates her birthday by somersaulting, cartwheeling, said, offering additional thanks for her running, jumping, skateboard riding and wall climbing after her neurologist doctors, having a roof over head and for released her to resume normal activity the military who keeps her safe. “And be- Dec. 14, 2012 – First Blessing Bag delivery ing able to eat food and serving for Jesus. April 27-29, 2013 - Alyssa takes Make-A-Wish trip to meet Christian singer Kari We do different activities to serve Him. Jobe It’s fun serving Him.” Dec. 12, 2013 – Is diagnosed with second brain tumor—fi ve years to the day from Sandra acknowledges that Thanks- the fi rst giving has taken on a new signifi cance in Jan. 13, 2014 - Second brain surgery the wake of her daughter’s medical chal- lenges. Feb. 13, 2014 - Alyssa is cleared to resume normal activity “We’re just so thankful that’s she’s April 10, 2014 - Alyssa is diagnosed with her third brain tumor here, because we didn’t expect her to June 23, 2014 – Third brain surgery, a left temporal lobectomy be, and we are thankful that God gave July 24, 2014 - Alyssa is cleared to resume normal activity. She celebrates with a her to us to be her parents and to walk cartwheel in her doctor’s offi ce but realizes it may be too soon and stops to this journey with her,” she said, her avoid a headache voice cracking from the reality of pain Sept. 9, 2014 - Alyssa’s doctor calls with post-op MRI results. There is no and hope. “We’re just blessed because so evidence of disease. Next MRI in six months many parents aren’t.
November 2014 | REFRESHED 9 Radically redeemed Once abused and broken, Tony Pallotto now rescues teens in trouble by LORI ARNOLD
ony Pallotto knew that his father disfi guring his mother. Police offi cers kill anyone who came near him. hated it when they were late for weren’t immune from his rage. “I squandered the last shred of Chris- Tsomething. Time mattered, even “He was a vile, wicked man, although he tian dignity I had by uttering the Lord’s when he was plastered on a barstool. did manage to teach me a few good things,” name in vain,” Pallotto said, adding that “I once picked him up four minutes late said Pallotto, an Indiana native who was God “even used the profaning of His at a bar,” Pallotto said. “When I disagreed raised in Connecticut. “But life in those holy name for His glory. The realization with his (correct) assertion that I was late, days was tense and often frightening.” that I’d let that slip away brought a tidal he balled up his fi st and backhanded me in wave of conviction like I’d never known. the chest. It felt like my chest had caved in. Like father, like son It brought me to the end of myself. As I regained my breath, I protested again As kids are apt to do, Pallotto fol- “God brought me back to repentance that I had been on time. Whack! He nailed lowed his father’s footsteps, adding pot by clearly revealing to me what a de- me again. This time, I thought I felt bones and LSD to his repertoire. spicable, ungodly mess I had become. I cracking and loosening. I bailed out of the “The one time I used heroin, I fl ew into was a substance-abusing, foul-mouthed, car at a stop sign, screamed profanity at a rage and tried to beat to death the guy mean-spirited louse.” him, and walked home.” keeping company with my estranged girl- Months later he lost his high-paying He stayed out of sight until he knew his friend (now his wife, Maryann),” Pallotto advertising job. father was fast asleep. That’s what you do said. “God stopped that barrage in a mi- “God took everything away—my job, when violence hobbles a household. raculous way. Years later, that same guy, my house—but He gave me a ministry,” “Another time, my brother came home named Dave, showed up in an unlikely way he said. late,” Pallotto, now 65, said. “I was in the and bestowed upon me the greatest ex- bedroom. I heard the screen door in the ample of Christ-like forgiveness I’ve ever More loss kitchen creak open, then I heard smack! known. He also told me about the Lord and From the ruin, Pallotto launched Teen He heard a verbal tirade unleashed on His forgiveness. He gets the credit for lead- Adolescent Placement Services, a full-time his sibling. ing me to salvation through Christ. It’s an ministry that offers a hotline, consulta- “A minute later, my brother emerged amazing story.” tion, referrals, group home placement, and from the bathroom with a white towel Pallotto’s story is now chronicled in transport of teens who are troubled or a stained red,” he said. “His nose was bleed- “Sidetracked: A Story of Family Wreckage danger to themselves or others. ing like crazy and turned to one side. Some and Radical Redemption,” written by Brian Since its origins in 1995, TAPS has time later, my dad popped him again and Lamay. The book is available on Amazon. helped nearly 20,000 families, placing turned his nose back the other way. He was “After I accepted Christ, I walked with a monster.” Jesus for several years, but an absence of Life in the Pallotto home wasn’t always fellowship and too much corporate pros- a combat zone. perity set the stage for a monumental re- “Mom was nurturing in those days,” treat from Christ. I returned to drinking, the Oceanside resident said. “She’d bathe drugs and other forms of debauchery.” me and my older brother, wrap us in warm He found his way back during a towels, and put us to bed in warm, cozy three-day anger-infested recovery from pajamas. She’d cuddle us. Dad was much a weekend cocaine binge. After rally- more composed in those days. Everything ing from a half-dead state, Pallotto tore felt safe and normal in those early years.” apart his bedroom while threatening to About the time Pallotto hit adolescence Tony Pallotto’s tattoo juxtaposes right and his father lost his job and “dived into a bot- wrong paths in life. The inscription bears names tle. My mother dived in, too. Dad’s violence of his two brothers and one of his three sons, against the family became horrifi c.” along with the dates they died. Their deaths He knew no limits, often bruising and stemmed from intravenous heroin usage.
10 REFRESHED | November 2014 “Sidetracked: A Story of Family Wreckage and Radical Redemption,” tells the dramatic life story of Tony Pallatto. more than 3,000 youth and transporting more than 1,300 to various programs, in- cluding ones in Northern California and Missouri. Despite the ministry’s success, Pallotto could not save his own son, who died from a heroin overdose in 2001. Mark, the mid- dle of three boys, fought addiction much of his life, though he kicked it for a time through Victory Outreach. He was running a successful street ministry in San Antonio when he relapsed after a break-up. “We learned the sweetness of deep, personal fellowship with the Lord in the midst of our profound suffering,” he said. “Had it not been for Mark’s death—which we deeply, agonizingly regret nonethe- less—we probably wouldn’t be nearly as close to the Lord as we are now.” Pallotto has also lost two brothers to heroin, one through AIDS contracted from a dirty needle. “I should have been dead many times over,” he said. “I’ve had enough car wrecks and close calls to be long gone, but God did not let me go over the edge. He tweaked events enough to keep me alive and breath- ing. I don’t know why, but He did. It’s not because I deserved it or because He needed me; He just did it.” ■
Learn more at www.taps14.org.
Tony Pallotto has spent the last 20 years trying to divert teens from heading “the wrong way” in life. He says his Oceanside-based ministry, TAPS, has helped nearly 20,000 families during that time. He published a book about his life this past summer. Tony says God,
in keeping with Romans 8:28, has engineered good PHOTO BY BRIAN LAMAY outcomes from bad events in his life.
November 2014 | REFRESHED 11 12 REFRESHED | November 2014 Responding to Ebola How we can help
Samaritan’s Purse workers bring a stretcher into an Ebola isolation center in Liberia. Since July, the organization has been managing the center located in Foya near the border with Guinea. The organization’s team of medical doctors and highly trained nurses is providing direct clinical care to patients infected with the virus.
November 2014 | REFRESHED 13 Responding to Ebola Christian ministries seek funding to continue the fi ght against dreaded disease Dr. Kent Brantly, prior to testing positive for the Ebola virus, works in the Ebola isolation by LORI ARNOLD center managed by Samaritan’s Purse at EWLA Hospital in Monrovia, Liberia.
ven before Americans fi rst became more than 450,000 people in the dis- that’s proven benefi cial in containing aware of the international Ebola tribution of nearly 100 tons of supplies Ebola, has been in short supply, so Opera- Ethreat festering in Western Af- and the allocation of 50,000 hygiene kits tion Blessing recently shipped fi ve chlorine rica, Christian relief groups were quietly with gloves, soap, buckets, and disin- generators into Liberia while also provid- working behind the scenes, aiding peo- fectants for hand-washing and treating ing ongoing training on how to use the ple and villages ravaged by the deadly drinking water. equipment. The generators can produce disease. 550 gallons of chlorine a day. It was no wonder, then, that the fi rst Containers shipped by the ministry two patients to enter the United States also contained hospital linens and other for treatment were missionaries affi liat- medical supplies. ed with two of these groups, Samaritan’s Purse and SIM. Dr. Kent Brantly, who was SIM treating patients for Samaritan’s Purse Soudan Interior Mission has more when he was affl icted, and Nancy Write- than 1,600 active missionaries serving bol, a SIM worker who was serving with in more than 60 countries, including Li- her husband, have since recovered. beria, where Writebol was working when But as the international numbers es- World Vision medical supplies await loading on a Boeing 747- 400 destined for West Africa. she contracted Ebola. calate—and the United States records its Although not a relief organization, fi rst fatality—relief groups are ramping World Vision SIM, founded in 1893, has been involved up their response. Those seeking dona- in prayer support, hosting a weeklong tions include: More than 200 pallets of medical re- lief supplies were fl own to Sierra Leone prayer effort for the eradication of Ebola in September by World Vision, just days that ended Oct. 5. Samaritan’s Purse before the government shut down the “Our desire is for prayers to be raised Samaritan’s Purse, which has well- airport for a three-day quarantine in an continually on behalf of those infected established programs in the region, is in effort to contain the spread of Ebola. and affected by the Ebola virus, for the the process of launching a new commu- The shipment included four million sick and dying, for the courageous health nity care initiative in high-transmission pairs of latex gloves, enough to meet the workers, for grieving families, for pastors areas of Liberia, one of the hardest-hit needs of Sierra Leone for fi ve months. In trying to serve their churches and com- countries. addition to the gloves, the personal pro- munities, for government offi cials and The project involves training Liberi- tective equipment kits included aprons, decision makers who formulate policies ans to run 10-bed facilities that will pro- goggles, face shields, masks, covers, and responses, for protection for those vide basic supportive care, in an effort to medical frocks, trousers and scrubs. The working in educating communities, and reduce transmission rates. The 15 pro- shipment also included 8,000 gallons of for all those waking up each day to the posed centers will be built and managed disinfectant. devastation of Ebola,” the ministry web- ■ by Samaritan’s Purse. In addition to pro- World Vision, which has been in the site said. viding hygienic care, as many as 3,000 region for nearly 20 years, has 272 staff care kits containing protective clothing, members assigned to Sierra Leone. LEARN MORE ONLINE hydration items, disinfectant and other Samaritan’s Purse: www.samaritanspurse.org materials will be distributed. Operation Blessing World Vision: www.worldvision.org The new approach supplements on- Operation Blessing: www.ob.org going education programs that include International SIM: www.sim.org a church-based project that has reached Clorine, one of the few disinfectants
14 REFRESHED | November 2014 Sou solesl for Local tween collects 2,000 pairs of shoes for charity by LORI ARNOLD
n many ways Tiffany Barbera is like Rite helped me any average Southern Californian reach even more Imiddle-schooler. She likes skate- people. Now more boarding and dreams of playing volley- people want to be ball at Stanford University. She hopes to involved.” parlay her love of animals into a career FedEx also got as a zoologist. But as most of her peers on board, shipping spent their summers at the beach or en- all of the shoes to gaging in other recreational activities, Los Angeles. the Rancho Bernardo 11-year-old was Local publicity focused on saving soles—all 2,000 pairs. also fueled dona- “One summer we decided to do some- tions. Tiffany Barbera stands in front of boxes packed with the 2,000 pairs of thing different, something good for the “Since there’s so shoes she collected for Soles4Souls, a ministry that provides footwear for community,” said Tiffany, a student at many people sup- underprivileged children around the globe. Oak Valley Middle School. porting me I never So her family researched a variety of understood the magnitude of what I was non-profi t charities they could support. doing ’til I saw myself in a magazine,” “Soles4Souls seemed so simple, but she said. “That’s when I noticed that I Cal Thomas so necessary,” Tiffany said. “Made me was doing something special and people sad that kids don’t have shoes and can’t liked it. even walk to school.” “By putting just a little bit more effort Founded in 2006, the global anti-pov- than usual you can get so, so much more UÊ £Ê >Ì>ÞÊ erty group provides shoes and clothing in return. I couldn’t believe how many -Þ`V>Ìi`Ê to impoverished communities world- shoes I got. Involve as many people as ÕÃÌ wide. you know. Everyone wants to help, they “I just think about the people that re- just don’t know how.” UÊ ÝÊ iÜÃÊ ally need these shoes and then I think Tiffany said she believes it’s impor- >ÞÃÌ about how spoiled we are in this com- tant that young people understand how munity and I really wanted to give back.” diffi cult many children have it in devel- UÊ *À viÊ So last year, she collected 1,000 pairs oping countries. `ÛV>Ìi of shoes, which her father, Michael, drove “(I learned) how many people in the up to a collection center in Los Angeles. world that don’t have shoes, don’t have This year she doubled her goal. homes,” she said. /ÊÃV i`ÕiÊ >Ê/ >ÃÊ “I wanted to be able to help more Even so, the preteen said she believes vÀÊÞÕÀÊiÝÌÊëiV>ÊiÛiÌ]Ê people,” she said. that individuals do have the ability to VÌ>VÌÊ >ÀÊ >Àð Fully expecting to work twice as hard make lasting changes. (619) 881-2851 this summer in order to reach her goal, “It’s a great thing doing things for other Tiffany was surprised to fi nd help from people and it makes me feel special inside >ÀJ>À>ÀðV corporate America. once you do it,” Tiffany said. “Even if you’re “The best story that came out of this tired (and) want to play with your friends project is Stride Rite coming to my house instead of doing your work. But at the end and donating $1,000 to me so I can go it’s all worth it. You can start a spark and to donate that money to a special char- make a difference.” ■ ity,” she said. “They arranged for me to www.SpeakersGroup.net get all 2,000 pairs to Soles4Souls. Stride Learn more at soles4souls.org.
November 2014 | REFRESHED 15 Are you parenting with empathy or anxiety? How parents unwittingly contribute to a child’s emotional stress by DONALD W. WELCH
an you fi x our daughter Lily?” tistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM- television program, acted out with seven The voice on the other end of 5, “Fear is the emotional response to real times more aggressive behaviors during Cthe phone call was full of anxiety. or perceived imminent threat, whereas a two-minute interval compared to those “Her mom and I can’t get a word out anxiety is anticipation of future threat.” not viewing the show. of her. She always looks depressed and The combination of fear and anxiety The American Academy of Child & angry to me. Can you help us?” experienced over time often leads to de- Adolescent Psychiatry has said it well: I can’t count how many times I have pression. One predominate depressive “Sometimes, watching a single violent heard similar desperation from parents feeling is of a foreboding sense of be- program can increase aggressiveness. worried for their child’s wellbeing. ing helpless and powerless. The person Children who view shows in which vio- It turned out that Lily’s parents had thinks I can’t do anything about it. Sur- lence is very realistic, frequently re- cause for concern. She was worse off than vival itself seems in question. He or she peated, or unpunished, are more likely to they knew, in circumstances not uncom- needs to “self-soothe” these impulses. imitate what they see.” mon to today’s adolescents. Once I got Often the only choice appears to be to a full picture of the situation, I saw why self-medicate. Bible guidelines for Lily was failing classes, isolated, lacking This is one of the reasons why so parenting with empathy in self-esteem, and suicidal. many adolescents are susceptible to me- So, clearly, emotion around children I also discerned something crucial to dia and drug use — and why they desper- really does impact them. The Bible re- the picture: Lily’s suicidal feelings were ately need skills for decreasing fear, anx- vealed this truth thousands of years be- being fueled by her parents’ anxiety- iety, and depression. One of those skills fore current research. “Train a child in based relationship. Their diffi culties and is known as the ability to self-soothe. the way he should go, and when he is old how they related to each other impacted The famed research supporting this he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Lily’s anxiety and depression. The perva- “mimicking” behavior originated with Ultimately, God made children to sive layer of social media only added to Dr. Bandura and his famous Bobo Doll early on catch things more than they are the crisis. experiment. A child is sitting in a room taught things. And, since a child is not Lily’s parents were so at odds with comfortably playing until — without naturally self-assured — but wired to each other, focused on their own (nar- warning — an adult entering the room seek assistance from his or her parent cissistic) individual worlds, where for at violently attacks a stand-up blow-up — the child is automatically wired to ab- least three critical years Lily was drown- doll. sorb the parent’s emotion. ing in a pool of anxiety. Like an apple de- Immediately following the adult’s Generally speaking, those of us in the prived of its resource-rich mother-tree, cruel outburst and exit from the room, mental health fi eld working with ADHD because Lilly wasn’t experiencing the and with no prompting, the child pre- symptoms carefully assess the parent’s positive parental nutrients she needed, dictably stands up and acts out the emotional impact on their child. It’s over time her core self-esteem just shriv- adult’s behavior by aggressively hitting important to determine if and how the eled. and shouting out angry outbursts toward adult’s fears and uncertainties become Even if your marriage — or your rela- the blow-up doll. Even though adults are the adolescent’s. tionship with your child’s other biologi- prone to act out in the same way as the Relationship specialists generally cal parent — is civil and respectful, any child mimicking, children naturally look agree that children of all ages tend to amount of anxiety between two biologi- to adults for how they should behave. emulate everything around them. If cal parents impacts the child’s anxiety. Media often produces similar behaviors, there’s a highly anxious parent, typically modeling aggressive and morally unfi t there will be at some level an anxious Defi ning anxiety materials imitated by children. child. If the media infl uences are satu- Although there are several anxiety Researcher Chris Boyatzis and his as- rated with anxiety, likely the child will disorders, typically all have a combina- sociates discovered children viewing the at some level take on that anxiety. Even tion of anxiety and excessive fear. Power Rangers, a somewhat violent 1990s depression fi nds its way from parent to According to the Diagnostic and Sta- children’s twenty-year series live-action child and media to child.
16 REFRESHED | November 2014 Both anxiety and depression weave ences was the negative recipe — a situ- the couple said, “We are committed to their way through family and medical ation I fi nd all too often for many of to- reconciling our marriage rather than histories. That’s why if you are seeking day’s teenagers and their families. ending our marriage.” mental health care for depression at your Lily’s stress-fi lled-home environ- At that moment, I wished every cou- medical doctor’s offi ce the intake form ment became Lily’s emotional stress; she ple in America who are contemplating will ask, “Is there any depression in your had no one to turn to to fi x her parents’ divorce could have been a fl y on the wall family?” Decades of research reveals how anxiety; therefore, media was her form observing Lily. She was beaming. Not a person is much more likely to experi- of self-medication. only that. Her entire appearance was so ence depression when one or both of his It is important to consider that remarkably altered that I had to take a parents experienced diagnosable depres- healthy people self-regulate rather than second glance to convince myself this sion. Regrettably, emotion is passed on self-medicate. Unhealthy people self- was the same girl. generationally. medicate rather than self-regulate. To Lily’s hair, previously dangling over If anxiety is at the center of an ado- self-regulate is learning how to healthily her forehead proclaiming I’m not here lescent’s parents’ interactions, as we saw manage emotions rather allowing them and I don’t like you, is now pulled back, in the case of Lily, the child often has to manage you. revealing a newly-found smile, as if to very little empathy for one’s self. If you Self-medicating includes using means say, I have a brand new outlook on life! can’t love yourself, it’s very diffi cult to to self-regulate that don’t produce posi- It was amazing to see this transformed love others, isn’t it? tive effects. Think of the person hooked person named Lily! ■ At the time of Lily’s therapy, she was on soap operas attempting to supple- self-effacing and overwhelmed with ap- ment their defi cient emotional needs, Rev. Donald W. Welch, prehension about the future. The bottom or someone constantly checking Face- Ph.D., LMFT is founder line: Lily had very little sense of a self- book or Instagram for “likes,” or a person and president of Enrich- identity. smoking pot or using porn to ease the ing Relationships, Inc., a As we continued in therapy, it became anxiety. nonprofi t research and apparent that Lily’s depression and anxi- Lily’s parents had no clue whatsoever professional counseling ety were due in great part to her parent’s that their perpetually-eroding marriage center. He is also owner anxiety. Although media exposure was a relationship was disabling their adoles- and director of Family Counseling Services, Inc. He secondary symptom and not the primary cent. Thankfully, though, following a currently serves as Skyline Church’s counseling pas- reason, the combination of her parents’ few months of therapy, the disconnected tor. Learn more at www.enrichingrelationships.org ruptured relationship and media infl u- couple and Lily entered my offi ce, and and www.fcssandiego.com.
Do you know someone who outwardly appears to be FULFILLED, fi nancially SAVVY, highly SUCCESSFUL — yet you know they are masking DEEP-SEATED ADDICTIONS or harboring DEBILITATING EMOTIONS caused by circumstances in their life?
They can FIND HEALING from self-medicating, alcohol abuse, PTSD, gambling, loss of a loved one, suffering rape or child abuse, clinical depression and most all affl ictions. We believe that all affl ictions are treatable.
hristian Faith Healing Center is one of the most, if not the most, aggressive Christian healing centers Canywhere. Designed for believers who have fallen into darkness, we believe BY FAITH they CAN be healed. CFHC is a monastery-style clean place, void of this world, located on the Pacifi c coast of Costa Rica, a discipleship training ground, a place to get close to our Lord Jesus. We will spend four months reading our Bibles front to back. We will have a lot of worship time and we will learn the right way to love each other. Also we will learn how to feed the hungry in spirit and those with real life hunger. What I believe is our most awesome service that you won’t fi nd ANYWHERE else: If need be, we will go out and get as close to them as we can, fasting and praying for your loved one, until we can get them the help they need, even if it means living on the streets with them. This is a very important part of our discipleship training program. For info — Web: christianfaithhealingcenter.org | Email: [email protected] | Phone: (619) 672-9555
November 2014 | REFRESHED 17 outtakes
Rogue fi lm script would mean exodus for ‘Exodus’ The success of the epic motion picture “Exodus: Gods and Kings,” set for pre-Christmas release on Dec. 12 and starring Christian Bale, will largely depend on how much produc- ers stick to the biblical storyline, a new survey says. The survey was conducted by American Insights, a research fi rm that found that 80 percent of the Christians it surveyed would see the movie if it accurately portrays the biblical account. The number drops to just 31 percent if producers tinker with the plot line. The survey was conducted in con- junction with the research group’s partner, Faith Driven Consumer, an Christian audiences are eagerly anticipating the Dec. 12 release of “Exodus: Gods and Kings,” but a new survey online community that promotes fi nds they will stay home if the storyline diverts too much from the Bible. the unique needs of Christians to the broader marketplace, including en- “When Hollywood’s content reso- of their way to spend their hard- tertainment and retail outlets. nates, faith driven consumers go out earned dollars and time to show support,” said Chris Stone, certifi ed brand strategist and founder of Faith Driven Consumer. DEGREES THROUGH #ORRESPONDENCE While 2014 has been deemed “Year of the Bible” because of a series of Associate through Ph.D. successful faith-based fi lms, includ- s #REDIT FOR LIFE EXPERIENCE ing “Heaven is For Real,” “God’s Not Dead” and “Son of God,” Christian FOR A FREE CATALOG, CONTACT US AT audiences balked at “Noah,” which WWWLBCSORG s LBCANDS GMAILCOM took liberties with the script. “We regularly meet with Holly- 352-621-4991 or write to us wood industry leaders, encouraging 5480 S. Suncoast Blvd., Homosassa, FL 34446 them to create more and better con- tent that resonates with faith-driv- Liberty Bible College & Seminary en consumers specifi cally and the overall Christian market in general,” Stone added. “When products don’t resonate—as we saw earlier this year The Solution to your Pipe Problems with the storm over ‘Noah’—they WATER GAS SEWER YOUR stay home.” COMPLETE Stone said the fi ndings also show Accurate Detection Repiping & Drains “One of San Diego PLUMBING that the producer, Ridley Scott, could Sewer Camera Slab Leak Repairs County’s Best Equipped SERVICE wind up with a megahit if he also en- Structural Repair Moisture Intrusion and Most Experienced Epoxy Fix Leaks Water Damage Restoration Leak Detectors” gages the faith community, particu- Thermal Image Camera Emergencies: Water-Fire-Mold larly pastors. Hot & Cold Water www.brinksservices.net “If done correctly, ‘Exodus’ could 858-926-5543 earn true blockbuster status and beat the box offi ce record set by ‘The Pas- sion of the Christ’ 10 years ago. If We support Youth Ministries done poorly, it will be another mas- EMERGENCY SERVICES DIVISION | PLUMBING DIVISION | PIPE LINING DIVISION | RESTORATION DIVISION sive missed opportunity.”
18 REFRESHED | November 2014 tunes
Friends join Guy Penrod for Best Contemporary Christian Music 10th album for Chris Tomlin debut Christmas recording Song for writers David Garcia, Ben Glov- Prolifi c singer songwriter Chris Tomlin er & Christopher Stevens. unveiled in his 10th studio album Love Ran Grammy and Dove Award-winning artist Guy Penrod celebrates the season Red in late October. The project features this year with his debut holiday record- Alabama releases album the pre-released singles “Waterfall,” and ing, Christmas. of gospel favorites “Jesus Loves Me,” an original ballad bear- Christmas cap- The legendary country music group ing no resemblance to the popular child- hood hymn originating in the 1800s. tures 15 seasonal Alabama recently released an all-hymns The album was produced by Ed Cash, a favorites includ- album on the Gaither Music Group label. longtime friend and collaborator who also ing “Tennessee Angels Among Us: penned some of the songs, as did Tomlin, Christmas,” fea- Hymns and Gospel Matt Redman, Jonah Myrin, Ben Glover, turing Amy Grant Favorites includes Jason Ingram, and Ben Fielding. A special and Vince Gill, as well as “Twelve Days of 12 popular songs Deluxe Edition will feature the full-length Christmas,” which is a family affair fea- ranging from “I Saw studio album along with four bonus tracks. turing vocals from his eight children and the Light” and “The his wife, Angie. Old Rugged Cross” to “What A Friend We The album showcases Penrod’s pow- Have In Jesus” and “I’ll Fly Away.” ‘The Dream’ from Sanctus Real erful country-tinged vocals with heart- Alabama, one of the most acclaimed Sanctus Real joins the list of Christian felt melodies that include many all-time country groups of all time, has sold more groups releasing fall albums with the Oct. favorite Christmas classics. than 75 million albums and singles, 14 drop of The Dream, billed as a “direct One of the most popular artists ever achieved 43 No. 1 songs, received a star reference to fi nding your dream and the featured on the Gaither Homecoming on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and was band’s dream of making the album of their Video Series, Penrod is well-known for inducted into the Country Music Hall of lives.” The project includes the singles his long gray locks and outlaw look. He Fame. “Lay It Down” and “Head in the Fight.” spent 14 years as the lead singer of the Gaither Vocal Band before launching a NEW 2015 successful solo ministry with combined EDITION NOWALL career sales now in excess of four million AVAILABLE units.
Mandisa remixes it with new album Print Grammy Award-winner Mandisa has released her fi rst full remix album, Get Up: Online The Remixes, which showcases some of Digital fl ipbook her biggest hits, in- Downloadable PDF cluding “Overcom- er,” “Stronger” and Mobile-accessible “Good Morning.” Mandisa has per- Facebook formed all three of those singles on ABC’s Good Morning America. The upbeat remix release comes Products and services amid a busy year for the American Idol featuring Christian-owned alum. In June, the vocalist was named Female Artist of the Year at the K-LOVE and operated businesses. Fan Awards, held at the Grand Ole Opry House. During the award show, Mandisa www.sandiegochristiandirectory.com performed “Overcomer,” which earned a Anytime. Anywhere. Any way. Song of the Year nod at the fan-driven event. The title album also received a Pick up a free copy at your church or local Christian book store. Grammy earlier this year for Best Con- Or send email to [email protected] | 619.668-5100 temporary Christian Music Album and
November 2014 | REFRESHED 19 community news
Christmas concert reminiscing. The theater is located at 5500 Cam- One week later the church’s celebra- panile Drive. to benefi t Rady’s tion culminated with two morning ser- Learn more at www.cytsandiego.org ESCONDIDO — Carols by Candlelight vices under a big tent on its athletic fi eld. or call (619) 588-0206. will celebrate its 25th anniversary during The church was founded in 1939 by shows on Dec. 12 and 13 at the California the Rev. Earl Morgan, a Dallas Theologi- Center for the Arts, Escondido. Therapists to discuss cal Seminary graduate who wanted to The show, a benefi t for Rady Chil- debt, anxiety start a church independent of any spe- dren’s Hospital, will feature the music of LA MESA —“ My Therapist ‘Sez’…” a cifi c denomination. America, Juice Newton, and locals Berk- monthly community-oriented panel dis- The church is currently pastored by ley Hart Selis Twang, Mary James, Steve cussion featuring various mental health Dennis Keating who succeeded Dr. Rich- Vaus and Anna Vaus. professionals from the region, will be ard Strauss in 1993. Carols by Candlelight was created in held from 6:45 to 8 p.m. Dec. 3 at Skyline 1990 by Steve Vaus and Wayne Nelson, Church. with the goal of making a life-chang- ‘Traditions of The topic will be “Addiction Inter- ing difference in the lives of children. Christmas’ returns vention—Speaking Truth in Love.” The In its early days, the show was present- SAN DIEGO — The 21st annual Tra- program will be moderated by Dr. Don ed as a free concert at Horton Plaza, ditions of Christmas, produced by Chris- Welch, founder and president of the Center for Enriching Relationships and before moving to the Poway Center for tian Community Theater, will be pre- counseling pastor at Skyline. the Performing Arts to accommodate sented 2 p.m. Dec. 19 and at 2 and 7 p.m. The monthly sessions are held the audience growth. The show is now pro- Dec. 20 to 23 at the Don Powell Theater fi rst Wednesday of each month. duced by the California Center for the at San Diego State University. Arts, Escondido. The church is located at 11330 Campo Billed as the biggest Christmas Learn more at www.carolsbycandle- Road. show in San Diego, the production has light.com or call (760) 839-4138. For information, call (619) 660-5000. drawn more than 250,000 patrons since its inception. The variety show is a mu- Emmanuel Faith sical journey that includes some of the ‘Wonder of Creation’ celebrates 75 years greatest Christmas songs and tradi- on display ESCONDIDO — On Sunday, Oct. 12, tions from around the world, includ- SAN DIEGO — St. Mark’s United Emmanuel Faith Community Church ing Santa’s Workshop with dancing Methodist Church continues its 2014 in Escondido celebrated its 75th year in elves, Raggedy Ann dolls, toy soldiers Digital Art Show “The Wonder of Cre- style complete with fun family games, a and magical toys, a Rockette-style tap ation” through Nov. 10. pastor dunk tank, BBQ food from various dancing kickline, music sing-alongs The exhibit features any work that themed decades, reunions, and much and a Living Nativity. was made using a computer application to create or signifi cantly modify the art- ist’s work, including camera work and graphics. The show is open to the general public from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturdays through Nov. 11. For information, call (858) 273-1480. Christmas Collective seeks vendors SAN DIEGO — Flood Church will hold its annual Christmas concert, the Christ- mas Collective, on Dec. 7 at the San Di- ego Convention Center. In addition to the concert, the church will host a “conscientious market” in which shoppers can search for alterna- tive and purposeful gifts for Christmas. Vendors are still being sought. Learn more at www.fl oodsandiego. Emmanuel Faith Community Church members had lots of fun during their 75th anniversary celebration. com.
20 REFRESHED | November 2014 September 2014 | REFRESHED 20 community news
Walking for babies Francisco, Riv- The Church at Rancho Bernardo. The LA MESA — The Steppin’ Up with erside, Fresno, conference continues at 9 a.m. Nov. 15. CAPS Walk, to benefi t CAPS Pregnancy Phoenix, Colo- The conference, targeting youth and Services, will be held from 2 to 5 p.m. rado Springs, young adults, will feature worship ses- Nov. 16 at Lake Murray. Albuquerque sion, concerts and more than 20 interac- and El Paso. tive workshops. The park entrance is at 5540 Kiowa Musician William Matthews In addition Drive. Special parking instructions can is one of the featured Registrants will receive a free full- be found on the CAPS Walk website. performers in “Worship to the concert, length live album featuring music from The center hopes to raise $50,000 to Nights: Let Heaven Come” breakout ses- the conference. help in its effort to assist its pregnant concert. sions will be The church is located at 11740 Ber- clients. offered. nardo Plaza Court. Learn more at www.capswalk.org or The San Diego concert will feature Wil- For information, call (619) 379-0982. call (619) 337-8080. liam Matthews, Amanda Cook, Hunter Thompson and Paul and Hannah McClure. Concert tickets are $22. Breakout ses- Fall craft fair set EL CAJON — The Salvation Army will Worship Nights in North Park sion admission is $49. SAN DIEGO — Bethel Music presents hold a Fall Fest Craft Fair beginning at 9 Learn more at www.bethelmusic.com/ its “Worship Nights: Let Heaven Come” a.m. Nov. 8. worshipnights or call (530) 351-7561. concert at 7 p.m. Nov. 18 at North Park In addition to arts and crafts, the event Theatre. The music will be augment- will offer unique gifts, greeting cards, si- ed with a time of encouragement and Youth conference lent auctions and a bake sale. The sale is prayer. in Rancho Bernardo a benefi t for the Corps’ women’s ministry The concert is one of a series being pre- RANCHO BERNARDO — The World programs and service projects. sented in cities across the Southwestern Changers Alliance Conference 2014 will The corps is located at 1011 E. Main St. United States, including Los Angeles, San be held beginning at 6 p.m. Nov. 14 at For information, call (619) 440-4683.
with Legacy Five
The Best in Southern Gospel Music
Sunday, November 23, 2014 5:00 pm $OORS OPEN AT PM s /PEN 3EATING El Cajon Wesleyan Church 1500 East Lexington Ave. El Cajon 92019 (619) 442-5941 Love offering will be received
November 2014 | REFRESHED 21 community news
‘Hallelujah!’ at La Jolla church Bazaar benefi ts LA JOLLA — La Jolla Presbyterian Homefront SD Homemade goodies, including jams, will be available at the annual Church will present its Christmas Con- SAN MARCOS — Christmas Bazaar at Woodland Park Bible Church. cert “Hallelujah!” at 4 and 7 p.m. Dec. Woodland Park Bible 14. Church will hold a Christmas Bazaar a Bible study and was chartered six The event, part of an ongoing concert from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Nov. 22. months later as Carlsbad Union Church series presented by the congregation’s The event is a fundraiser for Home- with 40 members. Worship and Arts Ministry, will show- front San Diego. Booths will include The church is located at 3175 Hard- case the greatest story ever told through handmade crafts, children’s activities ing St. traditional and contemporary carols and and food. Jerry Langford, morning host Learn more at www.3c.org or call anthems. The music will be presented for KSDW 88.9 FM radio, will participate. (760) 729-2331. by the Chancel Choir and professional The church is located at 1093 Rock orchestra and concludes with the Christ- Springs Road. mas portion of Messiah and Handel’s ‘Beauty’ on stage exultant “Hallelujah Chorus. The early PACIFIC BEACH — Christian Youth performance will include the children’s Holiday Market at First Pres Theater will present the Disney classic choirs. SAN DIEGO — First Presbyterian “Beauty and the Beast” from Nov. 14 to Learn more at www.ljpres.org/con- Church will hold its 6th annual Holiday Nov. 22 at Pacifi c Beach Middle School. cert-series. Market, which brings together 30 local The family friendly musical offers ro- crafters and nonprofi ts. mance and comedy in an all-child cast Fundraising banquet The event runs from noon to 7 p.m. and support crew. Nov. 14 and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Nov. 15. In addition to the Pacifi c Beach show, for women’s center Lunch, dinner, baked goods and fair CYT is offering other shows through- ESCONDIDO — Alternatives Women’s trade products will also be available for out the county, including “The Addams Center will hold its free Giving Banquet Family” at the Maxine Theater at Valley sale. Profi ts go to individual vendors and from 6:30 to 9 p.m. Nov. 13 at the Cali- Center High School; “Schoolhouse Rock the church’s women’s ministry outreach. fornia Center for the Arts, Escondido. Live” at Mater Dei High School in Chula Raffl es will be held hourly. Dr. Marc Newman, founder and presi- Vista; “Willy Wonka” at Greenfi eld Mid- The church is located at 320 Date St. dent of Speaker for Life, a training fi rm dle School in El Cajon and “Alice in Won- Learn more at www.fpcsd.org or call dedicated to equipping pro-life advo- derland” at the Star Theatre in Oceans- (619) 232-7513. cates nationwide with public speaking ide. All performance dates vary. skills, will be the speaker. Learn more at www.cytsandiego.org. The crisis pregnancy center provides Celebrating 90 years a medical environment that protects the CARLSBAD — Carlsbad Community Presentation Tea for honorees Church will celebrate its 90th anniversary right to life of the preborn. RANCHO SANTA FE — The Salvation The arts center is located at 340 N. Es- at 9 a.m. Nov. 16. The event will include Army Women’s Auxiliary will host is Pre- condido Blvd. a continental breakfast. sentation Tea for the 2015 Women of Dedi- For information, call (760) 741-9796. The church began in May 1922 with cation Honorees from 1 to 3 p.m. Nov. 6 at a private home in Rancho Santa Fe. The names and accomplishments of the 2015 honorees will be announced at the event. The women will be offi cially honored during an April 7 luncheon at the Hilton San Diego on the bayfront. The 15 honorees are residents of La Jolla, Rancho Santa Fe Del Mar, Solana Beach, Coronado and San Diego. For information, call (858) 461-4306. 760-613-6412 EVENTS ONLINE www.itexinsandiego.com For a Calendar of Events for San Diego County, please visit www.refreshedmag.com.
22 REFRESHED | November 2014 on the mark
MARK LARSON
Signs of the times
Signs, signs, everywhere the signs. where signs are This point was There are signs of the times, signs of the posted, ala multi- brought home the seasons and “signs and wonders.” Signs lingual ballots that other day when are increasing in number to the point would make United Na- Mrs. Larson and I were where I ask myself if we can do anything tions bureaucrats happy. leaving church, about on our own anymore. Every morning I notice to cross a major street at a Most signs are good ones, of course: a fascinating phenomenon. At busy crosswalk. There everyone STOP, GO and YIELD come to mind. my neighborhood on-ramp to the does the same thing, trying to time Speed limits are necessary, too, though Interstate 8 freeway, there are two things just right to avoid a long wait in some spots it seems they’re only lanes that allow a right turn onto the for the next green light. “suggestions.” Many signs are essen- ramp. The clearly posted sign in bold She blurted out, “Hey, the light’s tial to safety. NO LITTERING is excel- letters states: NO RIGHT TURN ON RED… let’s go!” lent, too (though it should be common RED. I couldn’t stop laughing. Great sense). Under that sign is a slightly title for a new book, I said. I wonder how people would function smaller sign noting “MON-FRI, 6 to I know what she meant (the light if we had fewer signs addressing every- 9AM.” In other words, a right turn for oncoming traffi c was red, ours thing in life. In some situations it’s hard on red light is fi ne most of the time, green) but it sounded as if we were to fi gure out what a person can do, since except those times. going to break the rules and go for there are so many posted messages pro- Observing human behavior at that it. hibiting things. spot is a wonder to behold. Many That thought was invigorat- In recent years, San Diego added new people don’t stop at all, except a ing. Respect the law, yes. But too beach bans to the mix: No booze on the quick California stop (“in my mind”) often we may mentally condition sand, no dogs, no playing of certain beach before turning. Others sit waiting for ourselves to accepting multiple re- games, no smoking and more. Multiple the light to change while glaring piously strictions beyond what is necessary for signs hang from lampposts, along with at others who appear to be breaking the life. We’re so used to others telling us other plaques detailing specifi c mu- law (even though they’re not). Then what can and can’t be done that we act nicipal regulations, citations and other there are those who must think the powerless. inside-City-Hall codes that only politi- signs are as complicated as “War and That can lead to misconstruing what cians can interpret. Peace,” sitting through a couple of green the rules are, and complicating things. With all the signs out there, I still lights in their battle to comprehend. Metaphorically, it just might be sense that the politically correct crowd Caltrans complicates matters by add- that a RED light in life doesn’t have to has much more work to do. There’s al- ing more electronic freeway signs that mean STOP. It could be there to create ways something that may offend some- were originally to be used for important a thinking moment, leading to a YIELD one, so it’s a growing market. Where information such as “Amber Alerts.” or CAUTION, then a DETOUR into right does it all stop? Lately, messages have fl ashed warnings choices … leading to many new GREEN Do this. don’t do that… hey, can’t you about water use and drought condi- lights ahead. read the signs?!?!” tions, fi nes for not doing this or that The light’s RED… let’s go! Maybe not. That could be why more and travel updates. It’s especially funny signs display pictures, not words. Pos- when the lit-up signs admonish drivers Mark Larson is a veteran sibly for simplicity of message, but I for distracted driving while distracting Southern California am guessing it has more to do with lit- them. radio/television eracy… or lack of it. Some good news: Signs can be meta- personality and media There’s also the issue of messages phors for life. Our own mental restric- consultant. His voice is in multiple languages. I love America’s tions, along with rules imposed by oth- heard on KPRZ 1210AM, melting-pot blend of culture, but how ers based on personal preference rather and his weekday talk soon before sign makers will delight in than truth or safety, can limit personal show airs mornings 6-9 on KCBQ 1170AM. Learn making sure every dialect is represented growth. more at www.marklarson.com.
November 2014 | REFRESHED 23 here’s to good health
KIMBERLY RUBY
Medicinal mushrooms blazing a path
As a little kid growing up in East San supports health and longevity, we get also have antiviral and anticancer effects Diego, I remember heading out in the to learn about some of the great new Cordyceps—A Chinese fungus, this early morning hours to see what magi- inroads surfacing in the fi eld of func- species is used to support energy and cal alien orbs sprang up overnight on our tional medicine. Last year, I came across stamina. They are also known for improv- front lawn. It was my own quirky version Dr. Paul Stamets, mycologist, founder, ing athletic performance by assisting in of a year-round Easter egg hunt. They felt cultivator and producer of Host Defense oxygen uptake and enhancing the body’s different than any other plant or shrub, Organic Mushrooms in Olympia, Wash- natural metabolic systems. foam-like and soft. The underside “gills” ington. Maitake—This delicious mushroom were perfectly formed, and the musty This guy knows mushrooms! has antiviral and blood sugar balancing smell is imprinted in my memory bank. I watched him give a class on TED enhancing effects. Rich in beta glucans, My parents warned me about eating online and I read as much as I could fi nd maitake is well known for promoting im- our visiting mushroom friends when they about his passion to preserve and pro- mune health. saw me carefully dissecting the poisonous tect as many ancestral strains of mush- Lion’s mane—A non-toxic, medicinal harvest on our picnic table. rooms in the Pacifi c Northwest. For and culinary mushroom, lion’s mane is Many years later, I worked as a territory more than 30 years, Stamets has discov- believed to improve mild cognitive im- manager for the nation’s leading nutri- ered several new species of mushrooms pairment while supporting neurological tional herb manufacturer, calling on natu- and pioneered countless techniques in function. ral food stores and educating the public on the cultivation of edible mushrooms. Reishi—Strictly a medicinal mush- the benefi ts of “God’s Natural Pharmacy.” In his book “Mycomedicinals” Stamets room, reishi is shown to have signifi cant Needless to say, I became very excited describes and documents the health ben- anti-infl ammatory effects, reduces allergic and curious when my company introduced efi ts of 17 different species of mushrooms responsiveness and protects the liver. medicinal mushrooms to the line. I pored and includes answers to frequently asked Most mushrooms are sold in capsule or over the literature and heard scientists questions along with an extensive bibliog- liquid form. speak on the many uses of mushrooms raphy. His book, one of four he’s authored It’s right about now I have to say that throughout history. Mushrooms in fact, on mushrooms, also includes an extensive these statements have not been evaluated have been used for centuries in numer- bibliography. by the FDA, and these products are not in- ous cultures as clothing, tools, food and One of America’s top naturopaths, Dr. tended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent medicinals. Mark Stengler, whose practice is based any disease. I was both hooked and fascinated! in Encinitas, is the author of 18 different As you can see, mushrooms are amaz- “Mycology,” the scientifi c study of edible books on natural medicine. In his book ing and can open up a whole new world fungi, was truly making its mark through “The Health Benefi ts of Mushrooms,” of nutritional support and exploration! research and proven effi cacy. he states, “There are over 700 species of Please let me know if you have any Several years down the road I remem- mushrooms that can be eaten as nutri- questions or comments by emailing me ber meeting the owner of a mushroom tious foods. Medicinal mushrooms have at [email protected]. May you serve and production company at a four-day medi- been shown to restore the competency of bless others in good health! cal conference. I was coming down with the immune system and improve a variety something that was about to knock me of serious illnesses.” Kimberly Ruby, certifi ed out, standing on my feet for countless Dr. Andrew Weil, a highly respected nutritionist at University hours and interacting with hundreds of physician, speaker, TV guest and author, is Compounding Pharmacy, people. He gave me a small bottle of an also a big fan of mushrooms. has been in the wellness almost-black liquid and explained if I took He shares a brief guide to his favorite industry for more than 10 drops in warm liquid several times a varieties: 20 years. She has been day, I might feel better. He was right. This Shiitake—These fl avorful and meaty facilitating one of the welcome remedy totally knocked out the mushrooms contain a substance called longest running weight management support bug. eritadenine, which encourages body tis- groups in the nation, meeting weekly in the North Working now as a nutritionist in a sue to absorb cholesterol and lower the County for 10 years. Her health segments have leading-edge pharmacy chain that also amount circulating in the blood. Shiitakes appeared on local news channels.
24 REFRESHED | November 2014 reality check
DANIEL JENKINS
When sleep is not refreshing
The feeling of sleepiness when you If you ever experience a hypnagogic these “visions” seem to come with are not in bed, and can’t get there, is the hallucination, my hope is that you will greater frequency. meanest feeling in the world. feel some comfort by recognizing it for When left to our own devices to ex- — C. S. Lewis what it truly is. Although many people plain psychological phenomena such have these strange experiences on a as hypnagogic hallucinations some A friend of mine reported that her regular basis they certainly do not get individuals come to the conclusion dreams were invading her reality. much press or public recognition. In that they are under demonic attack, While waking up from a deep sleep she fact, most people have never heard of or that they are seeing ghosts, or pos- would see things in her room that were hypnagogic hallucinations, even if they sibly that they are being abducted by from her dreams. For example, while have experienced them many times. aliens. None of these conclusions are dreaming about Amish people, she woke Surveys have found that over 50 correct, obviously. The litmus test is up to fi nd a woman with a bonnet stand- percent of the population report expe- simply this: if it disappears when you ing in her room. Within a few seconds riencing hypnagogic hallucinations on get up and turn on the lights, then it the bonneted lady disappeared and my a regular basis as they fall asleep. An- was all of your own creation. These friend realized she was only dreaming. other 12.5 percent of people in com- hallucinations are documented psy- Unless you have been diagnosed munity samples describe strange chological phenomena that most peo- with schizophrenia, you probably do not perceptions that occur while waking ple experience from time to time. experience hallucinations on a regular up, and these are referred to as hypno- Personally, I would much rather basis. But every now and then the aver- pompic hallucinations. In either case admit to having an occasional hypna- age person will be caught in a world be- the people believe themselves to be gogic hallucination than believe the tween wakefulness and sleep, resulting fully awake but in actuality they are in hallucination is real. in an obvious distortion of reality. Psy- a transitional stage between sleep and I also fi nd it comforting that God’s chologists call these strange phenom- wakefulness. Word says He will never leave us or ena hypnagogic hallucinations. Sometimes these hallucinations can forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), and this It happened to me not long be very disturbing. For example, people applies whether we are awake or ago. During a hot summer day, our often report seeing large spiders on the asleep. We can lie down and sleep in kitchen was invaded by small black walls, feeling as if they are fl oating or safety, says the psalmist (Psalm 3:5; ants, probably looking for water. That possibly lying on the ceiling, defying 4:8) and we know that Jesus promises night, as I was falling asleep in bed, I gravity. Sometimes people feel para- rest for the weary (Matthew 11:28-30). thought I could see those pesky ants lyzed and unable to move. Other times So tonight while falling asleep, crawling around on my blankets. My they may feel as if someone is present if you get invaded by ants, or have impression was that I was fully awake with them in the bedroom or they may strangers in your room, or fi nd your- and that there was going to be another hear voices when no one is there. For- self on the ceiling looking down at the battle between me and the ants. But, tunately, the hallucinations abate the fl oor, try to remember that this is only when I turned on the light to start moment the person gets up to turn on a dream, and all will be OK as soon as my attack, the ants completely disap- a light because this action helps them you turn on the light. peared. I remember feeling immediate wake up completely. relief, no ants. . . but then I was left We know that stress, broken sleep, with a very disturbing question: Was I pregnancy and certain medications Daniel Jenkins, Ph.D. losing my grasp on reality? make these hallucinations more is a licensed clinical Just knowing that the ants were likely to happen. While Job was going psychologist at only dream-like hallucinations brought through his time of testing he cried Lighthouse Psychological great relief to me, because the alterna- out, “When I think my bed will comfort Services in Mission Valley. tives were 1) there were indeed ants in me and my couch will ease my com- He is also a professor my bed, or 2) I was developing a psy- plaint, even then you frighten me with of psychology at Point chosis. Neither of these two alterna- dreams and terrify me with visions” Loma Nazarene University. Learn more at www. tives sounded very appealing at all. (Job 7:13-14). During times of trials lighthousepsy.com.
November 2014 | REFRESHED 25 on the money
JANICE THOMPSON
Power-up principle: Radical generosity
As I have traveled throughout the priorities. world, I have observed that Americans • Gifting Appreci-Appreci- are among the most generous people on ated Assets. GiGivingving to thosetho the planet. We are certainly a blessed non-cash assetsets that have whowho people who give with an open hand and grown in valuee is a smart wawayy receivedreceived a compassionate heart to those in need. to give. Insteadad ofof sellingselling a stock,stock, an inheritanceinheritance We are moved by those whose lives have paying capitall gains tax and gifting withoutwithout bbeingeing prepre-- been torn apart by war and natural di- the proceeds, gift the stock directly inin-- pared to wisely manage it. sasters. We give our possessions to char- stead. You can also use this tool to re- There are many ways to establish a ities that care for the poor, knowing that balance your portfolio in a tax-effi cient legacy of generosity with your family our extra blanket, coat or gift of food manner. Have a stock that is dominating that allows you to transfer your values might just mean survival to someone in your portfolio? Planning to give a year- before your valuables and your wisdom desperate need. end cash gift? Consider gifting some of before your wealth to the next genera- As we now enter the season of the that stock instead, contribute the des- tion. I encourage you to spend some year that focuses our attention on ignated cash to your portfolio, and then time discovering meaningful ways to thankfulness and generosity, I want to rebalance your portfolio. The DAF works accomplish this worthy goal. introduce you to some strategies that quite well with this strategy. As 2014 heads into the home stretch, can turbocharge your giving. There are If you are a business owner, or own now is the perfect time to begin explor- so many thoughtful and intelligent ways substantial appreciated non-cash as- ing a plan to give to those causes that to give. Consider this: About 7 percent sets, or you have an estate tax problem, touch your heart and bless others. God of an American’s wealth is in cash. The there are many more exciting planning cares deeply about the local church, remaining 93 percent is comprised of opportunities for intentional, tax-wise the persecuted, the widows and the or- other types of assets such as stocks, generosity. In fact, many of the great- phans. The invisible, lonely and forgot- real estate, business interests and other est opportunities for radical generosity kinds of valuable personal property. The can be found with these types of as- ten are never out of His sight. All people key to unlocking your giving potential sets. The keys to unlocking your giving matter, all of creation matters! And keep with this 93 percent is a willingness to potential begins with discovering your in mind, radical generosity isn’t mea- approach your giving with the same goals, understanding your current situa- sured just by the size of the gift but by level of attention you devote to your tion, developing an appropriate strategy the motivation of the heart as well. other fi nancial matters. Let’s look at two with a qualifi ed professional team, and Remember the widow’s mite (see simple strategies that can power up your then implementing a plan around those Mark 12:42)? generosity before year-end. goals. Whether we can give a little or a lot, • The Donor Advised Fund (DAF). • Legacy Gifts. No overview of this woman is a great example to each A DAF is simply a giving fund that acts radical generosity would be complete of us of radical generosity. like a charitable bank account for you. without addressing what happens to all Managed by a qualifi ed charitable foun- you have worked so hard for when this Janice Thompson is a dation, it provides a very simple, fl ex- life is done. According to the National certifi ed fi nancial planner ible and cost-effective solution for your Christian Foundation, Americans spend and co-founder/CEO of giving goals. Not sure where or how about 40 years accumulating wealth and One Degree Advisors, much to give to a particular charity? No about 40 minutes planning how it will be Inc. A frequent speaker problem. You can donate your gift now, distributed after they are gone. Thank- on fi nancial topics and receive an immediate tax deduction for fully, I’m personally seeing more and mentor for fi nancial your gift, and decide later which chari- more families interested in intentionally professionals, she also serves on the board of ties you want to support. Do you want preparing the next generation before directors for Kingdom Advisors. Learn more at www. to remain anonymous? You have that they receive the family’s wealth. We onedegreeadvisors.com. fl exibility, too. I also love using this tool have probably all heard of, or may have Advisory services offered through One Degree Advisors, Inc.SM Securities offered through Securities America, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC. One Degree Advisors and Securities Amer- to engage the entire family in giving personally observed, the damage done ica are separate companies.
26 REFRESHED | November 2014 purposeful parenting
MICHAEL FOUST
3 life-changing ways to maximize kid time
All of us want to live life without ma- things. put our family ahead of personal de- jor regrets, but only some of us actually I’ll have about 1,800 days with each sires—our day-to-day decisions will be do something about it. of my children before they reach kin- radically different. And more rewarding. I read recently about a man who quit dergarten. That sounds like a lot, but his demanding and time-consuming it’s really not. Each day speeds past me Get a new perspective $100 million job because he felt guilt like a Daytona racecar. Those days turn 2 When we comprehend the brev- and regret from not spending time with into weeks, those weeks roll over into ity of life—how we’re here only for a few his 10-year-old daughter. In fact, she months, and those months into years. years and then gone—it changes how we had handed him a list of 22 events— Life with small kids is never boring, and view everything. It transforms our per- from her fi rst day at school to her fi rst time really does “fl y.” Pretty soon, that spective. God calls us to have an eternal soccer match to a parent-teacher meet- little boy that I held in my two hands focus, to live each week with an eye to- ing—that he had missed. He got the as a newborn is walking off to school, ward heaven. But so often we don’t, and point. giving mme a goodbye high we make decisions based solely on tem- It was a wonder- fi ve—ve—slappings that same porary pleasures. In just a few decades, ful reminder that hhandand that literally held we’ll all be gone. How will you and I be drastic actions in hihim some 1,800 days remembered? What eternal impact will life sometimes are eearlier. Five years you and I have made? If, when you woke necessary if we later he’ll be 10, up this morning, you had known that it are to be family- and fi ve years would be your last day with your family, oriented, even if later, he’ll be would you have done anything differ- we cannot afford wanting to drive. ently? (Of course. I would have, too.) to quit our jobs. How, then, do I have three we raise our chil- Get rejuvenated young children dren without later 3 Get away. My worst parenting mo- who take most of having regret? ments occur when I’m tired, stressed out my attention, so HHowow do we maximize or hungry. On those days, I’m in no mood I think a lot about ouourr time with our to “maximize” the time with my children. the subjects of re- kkids—withoutids— stress- Jesus dealt with identical physical needs gret, priorities and iningg oourselves out in the and emotions. What did He do? Simple: time. procprocess?e Here are three He slept. He relaxed. He ate. He didn’t The Bible can ssuggestions:ugg rush from town to town, and He didn’t guide us here. In try to squeeze 27 hours of ministry into a Psalm 39, the psalmist asks God to re- Get new priorities 24-hour day. He simply accomplished the mind him “how fl eeting my life is” and 1 I vividly remember the night will of the Father. He even withdrew to to show him “the number of my days.” before my son was born, thinking to “desolate places” to pray (Luke 5:16). As The psalmist calls life a “mere breath,” myself: What will fatherhood really be the Southwest airline commercials put it, describes much of the world’s chasing like? Behind that question was another he “got away.” If the Son of God needed after wealth as pointless (Psalm 39:6), question: Will I still get to watch every physical and spiritual rejuvenation, then and then cries out to God: “My hope is football and basketball game my teams how much more do you and I? in You.” play? Will I get to spend my time with What was the psalmist’s point? all my hobbies? The answer, of course, Michael Foust is the Keep your focus on eternal matters, was a resounding “no,” but I didn’t real- father of three small not fl eeting and temporary ones. Of ize fatherhood would be so wonderful children, a writer and course, there is a time for fun and games that it didn’t matter. If our parenting editor, and blogs about (Ecclesiastes 3:4), but they shouldn’t years mirror our bachelor/bachelorette parenting at www. consume us. And they shouldn’t con- years, something is wrong. When we michaelfoust.com. stantly distract us from more important have the right priorities—and we truly
November 2014 | REFRESHED 27 inspired living
CHICO GOFF
Being thankful, no matter the view This is the time of year to be thank- moment of refl ection in the rearview what God is doing. If thankfulness has ful. Whether we are ready or not, sum- mirror, reminds us how faithful God has eluded you this season, pull your car mer is offi cially in the rearview mirror, been and how His promises have steered over. Look in the rearview mirror for and we are supposed to be thankful for us through the diffi cult times. a moment. Has He ever let you down? the changes that come as we journey Why wouldn’t He do the same with Have you ever found His promises to not into a new season. what is before us? be true? The diffi culty comes when we look at Can I ask ... How does the road before Whatever you see ahead of you know our lives through the front windshield; you look? Are you fi nding it hard to be that your Creator promises to steer you sometimes it is hard to be thankful for thankful? Reading a few lines in a greet- to safety. Let Him drive. Resist what we see ahead of us, the problems ing card just won’t get you there, will the temptationp to take the we must face, the obstacles we must it? A few decorationsations arounaroundd ththee hhouseouse wheel. The road may appear avoid, the people we have to confront, will momentarilyly lift youryour spirits, but for difdiffi cult to navinavigate,gate, but the pain we must survive. us to give thanksks in all circumstances Just fl ipping the page on the calendar (1 Thessaloniansns 5:18), something has oneone dayday you willwill looklook in will not change what we see through the to change our perspectiveerspective or thethe rearviewrearview front windshield of our lives. thankfulness willill I don’t know what the view is fall from our through the windshield of your life. I hearts like can tell you that, for some, November the leaves means family tensions that we have from the avoided for months will now be present trees. at the holiday table. The writer For others, November means the last of Psalm 119 few miles before the end-of-the-year says in verse fi nancial pressures come due. You had 116, “LORD, sus-s- hoped to catch up by now, but no matter tain me as you prom-prom- the effort there are simply more bills to ised, that I may llive!ive! Do notnot pay than there are pages on the calen- let my hope be ccrushed.”rushed.” GodGod dar to turn. is the giver and sus-sus- For others, November reminds you tainer of life. Ass about the kids who went away to school we drive throughh promising to stay in touch, and yet you the seasons of life, seldom hear from them. You knew let- we often forget to be thankful because mirror and realize just what the ting them go would be diffi cult, you just we are focused on the view through the psalmist promised. God has sustained never thought it would feel like this. front windshield. We are concentrating you through the journey. God has not When we look through the front so much on the bumps in the road, the allowed your hope to be crushed. And windshield and fi nd it hard to be thank- detours and the traffi c that we forget my guess—on the side of the road— ful for what is before us, we need to pull to be thankful for what we have and for peering through the rear view mirror, this car we call “Life” to the side of the what God is doing. For some, driving you will be thankful no matter the view. road and look in the rear-view mirror. one more mile in our present circum- Something happens to our perspective stances seems impossible. Your tank is Chico Goff is the senior when we pause and refl ect back on who almost empty and you passed the off- pastor of Mission Hills God is and what He has done for us. ramp to thankfulness a few miles back. Church in San Marcos. When we look in the rearview mirror, I can tell you from personal experi- we see how all the obstacles and dif- ence, the view through the front wind- fi culties of past seasons were met by the shield is scary at times. It can rob you promises of God. This brief pause, this of your joy and fog your perspective of
28 REFRESHED | November 2014 “The People’s Choice” marketplace
Marriage | Addictions | Anger management | and more WE TEACH SKIN CARE Military and other insurances accepted All basic skin care products are non-comedogenic and clinically tested for skin irritancy and allergy. Dr. Marcial Felan, LMFT #45603ÊUÊÈ£®ÊÓ£ÓxÓÓÓ Providing excellent service Sandy Hertzberg (619) 265-0138 and repairs since 1989 Biblically-integrated Counseling Independent Beauty Consultant Quality | Timely Repairs Satisfi ed Customers PROVERBS 3:5-10
UÊ7iÊ7ÀÊÜÌ ÊÊÃÕÀ>ViÊ «>ià Gary L. Ryerson Realtor UÊ-Ì>ÌivÌ iÀÌÊ ÃÊ,i«>ÀÊ/iV }Þ THE POWER OF WELLNESS UÊÀiiÊ «ÕÌiÀâi`Ê ÃÌ>Ìià s 10% referral for buyers and sellers to your church or ministry. s )NCREASED %NERGY s %NHANCED -ENTAL &OCUS s 6IBRANT 'OOD (EALTH TRULY CLEAN Restore, Renew, Revive #!20%4 s 50(/,34%29 Sharon Jahr 4),% '2/54 #,%!.).' Life and Health Coach Family owned and operated 619.917.9157 by Curtis & Ann Duggan (619) 772-4764 www.trulycleancarpets.com SoCal.trevobuilder.com Duggan’s Collision Center 630 Grand Ave., Spring Valley (619) 465-5655 The right home… with the right Price. BANKRUPTCY? You Have Options Marty Price Stop Foreclosure Realtor® BRE #01312192 Stop the IRS 9332 Fuerte Dr, La Mesa 619.818.2419 GET RELIEF FROM [email protected] CREDITORS NOW!! www.californiamoves.com/marty.price s ,OWER CAR PAYMENTS GMD Company s 3TOP FORECLOSURE BIBLE-TEACHING-ABOUT.COM PAINTING newmanbibleacademy.org s +EEP YOUR ASSETS s Quality Interior, Exterior Painting s 7IPE OUT DEBTS s Residential / Commercial Your online Christian resource providing FREE s Bathroom / Kitchen Remodeling Bible study materials, Bible courses, s 3TOP CREDITORS s )NTERIOR $ECORATING #ONSULTING eBooks and answers to your Bible questions! s 0ROJECT -ANAGEMENT 3ERVICE Used by people from more than 150 countries! s -AKE A NEW s $RYWALL 4EXTURING START s Finish Carpentry s 3TUCCO 7OOD 2EPAIR SPECIAL FEATURES — FREE Bible Study s (ANDYMAN 3ERVICE MATERIALS s &2%% ONLINE "IBLE EDUCATION THRU Gregory M. DeHart FREE ESTIMATES the Newman Bible Academy Painting Contractor (619) 244-9380 s !SK $R .EWMAN General Contractor s 7OMENS )SSUES Bonded/Insured www.gmdcompany.com FREE CONSULTATION Lic #420564 John 3:3,16 s -ISSION /PPORTUNITIES Attorney Steven Houbeck (619) 463-HELP 4357 To advertise in Refreshed magazine, call 619.567.7811.
November 2014 | REFRESHED 29 that’s life!
JOANNE BROKAW
Dance of the jingling multitasker
I’m trying to make a pie crust, which wanted as long as we felt pretty. we set them to music. And that’s isn’t easy to do when you’re also trying We could fl utter our fi ngers or when the trouble really started. to write a column. It’s not that I’m a ter- wiggle our wrists or The steps that I could manage rible baker or a terrible writer. I’m pretty make bird wings one at a time were now sped good at both tasks (although my presen- with our arms. up to happen in the same beat. tation of words is much prettier than my Flap, fl ap. Look at Add in the hand movements and presentation of pie). me! I’m dancing! the rogue spinner, and I was in No, my problem is that I’m a terrible The next part over my head. multitasker. of the lesson While everyone else was do- When I was a kid, the running joke involved a series ing stepshakejangle, I was still was that I couldn’t walk and chew gum of dance steps on step. By the time I got to at the same time. I probably couldn’t coupled with hip shakes. shaking my hip, the rest of run and tell a joke at the same time Step forward with your the class was spinning. either, but we’ll never know. When I right foot, shake your right When I was ready to was in kindergarten, I got run over by a hip, jangle your jingle scarf. spin, everyone else classmate while we were doing laps in Step forward with your left was fi nished. Dur- the gym. That pretty much put me off foot, shake your left hip, ing our second running for the rest of my life. jangle your jingle scarf. run through of I used to feel inadequate because of Step, shake, jangle. Step, the routine, all my lack of multitasking abilities, until I shake, jangle. I could do was learned that multitasking isn’t the abil- We repeated the steps, stand in place ity to do two things at the same time. moving forward and back- and tap my foot. The It’s the ability to quickly switch back ward, and then to our left and only hand movement I could and forth between two tasks. That’s a right. So far, so good, although the manage was to jangle my jingle little better, but not much help when pain in my hips was starting to amp up. scarf. the tasks you’re doing need to appear as In fact, after just one round of steps I Fortunately, our instructor if they’re simultaneous. wasn’t able to actually shake my hips told us that in belly dancing, you Like when you’re belly dancing. to jangle my jingle scarf. Instead, I can pretty much do whatever you want As part of my “I’m 50 and trying new just grabbed the ends of the scarf and as long as you feel good and are having things” mentality, I recently signed up jangled by hand. fun. I guess the class was a success then, for a one-night belly dancing class. I Things got a little more diffi cult because I really had fun with the jingle almost backed out because of pain in my when we learned to turn. Not only did I scarf. hips, but I’m also learning that in order have to pay attention to my own steps, In fact, I might get one to wear when to stay out of pain I need to move when hip shakes and scarf jangles, but I also I’m writing a column. Fortunately, I can I’m in pain, which I guess is actually had to watch out for another woman in think and jingle at the same time. doing two things at the same time. But the class whose turns took up the entire I digress. dance fl oor. While most of us turned in Award-winning freelance The goal of the hour-long class was our own little spot, she started at one writer Joanne Brokaw to master a very short routine that con- end of the room and wound up clear spends her days dreaming sisted of simple steps and hand move- on the other side, usually pinning me of things she’d like to ments. The instructor brought some of to the wall with her wild hand and hip do but probably never her own jingly scarves for us to wear, so movements. will— like swimming that when we shook our hips we could I cut her a break. Obviously she was with dolphins, cleaning hear the jingles jangle. unable to think and spin at the same the attic and someday overcoming the trauma We started by learning some hand time. We multitasking failures need to of elementary school picture day. She lives with movements, which, the instructor said, stick together. two dogs, a cat, six chickens and one very patient basically meant doing whatever we Once we got down the basic steps, husband. Learn more at www.joannebrokaw.com.
30 REFRESHED | November 2014 We can help you.
Comprised of licensed and pre-licensed psychotherapists, including marriage family therapists, psychologists, and licensed professional clinical counselors.
Providing a full range of mental health services for children, adolescents, and adults of all ages.
Offi ces conveniently located in Mission Valley, 619.248.8608 Lakeside, Chula Vista www.lighthousepsy.com
SERIOUSLY INJURED? Thinking for Tomorrow, I will fi ght for you! Today
Over 25 Years of Experience Finances are complex—and so is your life! Knowing where you are Former Senior Prosecutor and Insurance Defense Attorney going and understanding how to get there can be challenging. NO RECOVERY, NO FEE Wealth management should go beyond what you have, and 'ROW YOUR ASSETS ■ Serious Injury embrace what you want to Spine, Brain, Burns, Dog Attacks accomplish. It starts with asking the 0ROTECT YOUR WEALTH ■ right questions. Just as a carefully Employment calibrated GPS can help you land Sexual Harassment, Whistleblower, Wrongful Termination accurately at almost any intended 'IVE GENEROUSLY ■ Wrongful Denial of Insurance Claims destination, a carefully calibrated ■ fi nancial plan can help you pursue 4RANSFER A LEGACY Medical & Legal Malpractice your intended goals. ■ Excessive Force by Police ■ Child and Elder Abuse Robert Ryan
Attorney at Law ONEDEGREEADVISORSCOM s 402 West Broadway, Suite 860 Janice A. Thompson, CFP® #AMINO DEL 2IO .O 3TE Emerald Plaza | San Diego Co-Founder & CEO 3AN $IEGO #! (next to the Hall of Justice) Advisory services offered through One Degree Advisors, Inc.SM Securities offered through Securities (619) 234-1800 America, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC. One Degree Advisors and Securities America are separate companies. CA Insurance License 0B67613. [email protected]
November 2014 | REFRESHED 31 32 REFRESHED | November 2014