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The Naughty List Written by Justin Fornal Approx. 90 minutes 1 The Naughty List is a feature length noir thriller following Baron Ambrosia’s quest to rescue a group of children who have been kidnapped by the holiday demon Krampus. The world presented is bleak, raw, diseased, and highly dangerous. The music and pacing will be fine-tuned to keep the viewer from ever feeling at ease. For the first time, Santa Claus will be presented in an ultra-realistic manifestation. He is an ancient debauched Shaman with a weathered scarred face, and tobacco stained beard, blackened teeth, and several addictions. The characters will be garish and ghoulish. The following script depicts graphic violence, sex, and explicit language, and is only meant for a mature readers. PROLOGUE Cabinda Territory, Angola The opening shot pulls out of an ornate square amulet that is embedded in the chest of a statue. The statue is of an ancient deity which sits atop a large gate that a militia is using as a make-shift border check. The surroundings are a dank, fly-buzzing swamp. A line of people wait to get into a small wooden building before getting through the gate. One can hear groans of pain coming from inside. People come out of the other side looking compromised and limp. Everyone appears tired and sickly. The line is controlled by t-shirted teens pacing up and down with various makes of machine gun. Everyone in line is wearing an old beat up smart phone on a string around their neck. Shots cut to faces of people inside the small wooden shed wincing in pain. The camera pans down the line to reveal Baron Ambrosia. His hair is pulled up in a top knot and he is wearing a floor length tunic. As the line shortens, he reaches the first teen officer. The officer scans each person in front of him by holding a baton up to their smart phone screen. As soon as it registers, the phone lets out a beep and they are sent into the cabin. Officer Where is your phone? Baron I don’t wear one. I do have documents, however. Officer How did you get here without a phone? Baron I used a map and came down the river from Matousi. Officer Everyone in this country is required to wear their phone at all times. Baron My name is Baron Ambrosia. I am an Ambassador from the Bronx. I do have documentation. Baron begins to reach into his tunic and the officer slaps his hands down and begins to scream Officer 2 Keep your hands out! Put them out or I will cut them off! Soldiers begin to raise their guns and shout. People in the line are unaffected by the commotion. Baron Whoa whoa whoa! It’s ok, it’s ok. I am a friend of Abdullah Mustafa. I have a handwritten letter from him granting me safe passage. Instantly the soldiers silence and look at each other. The interrogator runs into the shack and talks to officials inside. A voice can be heard from within. Chief Send him in. Baron is escorted into a small, dank office. A cruel faced little man sits behind a desk. Chief Please sit down. What is your name? Baron reaches out his hand and the man does not look up and just gives a limp paw that the Baron shakes respectively. Baron Peace brother. I am Baron Ambrosia. I am an Ambassador from the Bronx just passing through to get to Mekinni. Chief And you are a friend of Abdullah Mustafa? Baron Yes, yes I am. I received a letter from his office that I can show you. Without looking up the Chief signals with his hand for the Baron to pass the letter over. He nods his head back and forth as he eyes the letter as if he is reading a nursery rhyme. The man then looks into the Baron’s eyes and pauses. He looks up and down at the Baron’s outfit and fights back a smirk. Chief Were you planning on visiting the palace and seeing Commander Mustafah on your way to Mekini? Baron Yes, I had considered it. The Chief lights a match and begins to burns the letter. Baron tries his best not to look uncomfortable. He gives a pained smile to the Chief. Chief A funny thing happened to the Commander a few days ago. 3 Baron What’s that? The Chief removes his own phone from around his neck and swipes at it for a minute, then hands it to the Baron. He looks down and sees a video of a crawling man wearing a bra and women’s panties covered in blood, as laughing soldiers beat him with bats. Next, a man starts up a chainsaw. Baron hands the phone back as screaming is heard coming from the video. Baron breathes deeply, searching for something to say. Baron I am very sorry. Chief I fucked his wife you know. I think we all fucked his...wife. If there is anything left I can assure you someone is fucking his wife right now. All the soldiers begin to laugh hysterically. Chief And that my friend is why you carry a phone. Over 20,000,000 people have viewed that video. But not YOU. So what do with we do with you…the friend of Abdullah Mustafah? Baron Well, in all honesty he was more of an acquaintance. Chief Hahahahaha! I will let you pass through. Baron I appreciate that deeply. Chief We require two scans at this border: a phone scan and a rectal scan. I am a nicer guy than I should be. I will let you pass through with just the rectal scan. The chief puts a large baton on the table. Baron With all due respect, I am a diplomat and have the proper papers to prove my identity so that won’t be necessary. Chief Do people in the Bronx make a habit of insulting kindness? You can be scanned by me or you can be scanned by every soldier within a hundred miles of here for days brother. Baron 4 If you were a stranger in my home I would treat you with hospitality and whatever dignity you were accustomed to. The best plan of action to keep good relations for the future is for me to postpone this journey to a later date. I am just going to go back the way I came. Chief It’s too late for that…you are in Baswa territory now. So lift up your dress, take down your panties and spread your ass so I can show you some hospitality. The soldiers in the room brace for action Baron If you do not allow me to go back the way I came, I promise this will not end well for you. Chief Take him outside! The soldiers all fall on Baron and wrestle him outside. Chief People! I have something for you to film. Let the world know what we do with people from the Bronx. Let the world know what we do with friends of Abdullah Mustafah. Strip him down! People in line take their phones off of their necks and begin to film. Two of the soldiers rip off the Baron’s clothing. Chief Take everything off. I am gonna open you up right. You are gonna fall in love with me. As they rip off the tunic a large knife on a length of chain attached to a cod piece falls to the ground with the chain slithering down behind it. The soldiers jump back startled for a moment. Baron quickly whips up the chain and swings it around cutting off one of the soldier’s heads and stabbing another in the throat. A third solider goes to raise his machine gun and the Baron swings the chain again cutting off his hands. The gun falls shooting a few bystanders. Covered in gore, Baron becomes demonic and begins berating the onlookers. Baron You want cruelty? You want to film something? People start to scream and flee. In the distance soldiers scream and run towards the scene. The chief tries to run into the shack to grab a handgun. Baron grabs him by the back of the pants. The two fall down the stairs. Baron reaches around squeezing his throat and putting his mouth close to the chief’s ear. Baron Now about that rectal scan. 5 The camera pulls out from above the scene. Several onlookers continue filming as the man struggles for life. The shot continues to crane out distant, as 1950’s-style Christmas music leads into the opening title sequence. Opening Titles Montage Scene1 Classic old Hollywood-style titles appear over different slow motion scenes of children opening gifts beneath various Christmas trees. The look is that of black and white film that has been colorized. Screaming children are throwing wrapping paper everywhere. They are breaking toys and crying. The scenes are in slow motion and bled with dissolves. The scene ends with a pan over to a fireplace. The camera zooms in on the last flickering embers. Ext. BRONX STREET, MORNING Scene 2 The bottom of the screen reads December 8th. A collection of parents are all coming out of buildings in their pajamas. Some are yelling from fire escapes. They are all looking for their children. Some are crying. Others are just calling out their names. Lots of dramatic hard cuts and Dutch angles. INT.BARON OFFICE, MORNING Scene 3 Industrial hissing comes from behind a glass paned door in an old warehouse.

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