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>LUME 74, NUMBER WVVW.HURRICANE.MIAMI.EDU TUESDAY MARCH 4,1997

in this issue Foote names GETTING WET new masters • Oglesby will start at Hecht this fall

By KELLY RUANE News Editor University of Miami President Edward T. Foote II has appointed four new resident masters for the residential colleges. WEST VIRGINIA BLOWOUT Resident masters serve three-year • The Canes were rocked by lerms. Vice President for Student West Virginia on Saturday, los­ Affairs William R. Butler said in ing their season finale 82-54. some cases, the contract can be renewed for a fourth year. OGLESBY The new masters and their col­ SPORTS, page 4 leges are Donald Oglesby, Hecht Residential College; Liz Rothlein, ALASTAIR HEBARD / Hurricane Photographer Eaton Residential College: Maryann DREDGING: During the Salt Water Semester's week at sea, Elizabeth Rowe hauls in the net of a trawl Barber, Stanford Residential College; and Robert Moore, so that the students can sort and identify fauna from the samples that they collected from the bottom Mahoney Residential College. of the ocean. They spent 8 days at sea to study different sampling and oceanographic techniques. Only one resident master will IDENTIFICATION: begin his term this fall. The other three will begin in the fall of 1998. During the week of Donald Oglesby will replace cur­ February J 5, Salt Water rent Hecht master Ren<£ Sacasas in Semester students study the fall. one of the samples that All the incoming resident masters was brought in by the were chosen from associate masters net during their time at at the University. sea as professor Peter John Masterson, vice provost, Glyn assists a student in said the president does not always an identification. choose from the associate masters. ROTHLEIN "Ttiere was a richness in talent already in the associate masters, four outstanding people we could recommend to the president as the next four resident masters," STRANGE FLICK Masterson said. • Director David Lynch's first Masterson said when looking for film in five years, Lost a resident master. Foote usually Highway, is the weirdest of looks for people who are "outstand­ the weird. ing teachers and scholars, deeply committed and involved with under­ ACCENT, page 6 graduate education." Masterson said this year's choices Supreme Court reduces are no exception. MAKING COPIES Oglesby is an associate master at • What does animal cloning Hecht and an associate professor of mean for the future of vocal performance in the Choral humans? Department at the School of Music. points against Fatzinger He has been at UM since 1977, and BARBER is in his second year as Hecht asso­ • Propos explains reason Wednesday. ciate master. "The financial reports are due Thursday by 10 a.m OPINION, page 10 and if there are any problems then they have to be taker Oglesby's wife, Linda, works in for charges care of," i°rc>pos said. the Department of Residence Halls. The SG Supreme Court convened immediately after Oglesby said he is pleased with By KELLY RUANE election results were announced to hear Fatzinger's news briefs his appointment and is ready to han­ News Editor appeal dle the added responsibility. The race for the presidency and vice presidency of The Supreme Court found Fatzinger guilty of both NORTH-SOUTH CENTER "There's certainly more of a coor­ student government at the University of Miami is not charges but reduced the penalties to six points and dinating function and some more over. HOSTS CONFERENCE adjourned. responsibility," Oglesby said. "We Last Thursday at the University Rathskeller, candi­ The North-South Center is As the Supreme Court adjourned, Propos announced have a very supportive staff working dates for president and vice president learned there offering a conference on the Elections Commission would be bringing Fatzinger with Joe Conti I Hecht Residence would be a runoff this week. Students can cast their "Development, the Environment up on additional graphic campaigning charges. Propos Coordinator) and the other associate votes via EASY system until tomorrow. and Dispute Resolution in the masters. We work as a team and we said The EC was able to bring these charges against Americas: New Directions in the Hours before the election results were announced, the Fatzinger because the runoff had already been feel like this is going to be a gocxl Elections Commission brought charges against sopho­ Private Sector" from March 5-7 experience." announced. Once a runoff is announced, graphic cam­ in Buenos Aires, Argentina. more Jim Fatzinger, who is running for president on the paigning begins again. Oglesby said he has always car­ "Your Voice-Your Vote" ticket. The conference focuses on the Fatzinger was charged with graphic campaigning at ried an interest in the residential col­ Fatzinger was charged with surpassing trie $1,000 emerging role of the private sec­ an official SG meeting because a campaign supporter lege system. He served on the facul­ MOORE campaign expenditure limn and turning in an incom­ tor in promoting sustainable wore a "weeble," a tiny, green, fuzzy character with ty senate that decided to institute the plete budget to the Elections Commission. development in the Americas; the sticky feet and a small banner attached to it supporting system 12 years ago. Fatzinger was found guilty on both charges and judicial processes and dispute at Eaton." Fatzinger. to Fatzinger's Supreme Court appeal. Oglesby said he already has a assessed 18 points. resolution systems of the Rothlein and her husband, Ashe, The student wearing the weeble was not working for connection to students at Hecht and Michelle Propos, elections commissioner, said the EC Americas. The panel will also Fatzinger, but was a campaign supporter. is happy he will be staying there. will move in next summer. discuss the practical considera­ brought charges against Fatzinger Thursday because the "JHecht is| really a very remark­ Maryann Barber is also an associ­ tions involving project develop­ financial reports are due Thursday. It is impossible to able place even ihough there are so ate master at Stanford. She will ment in the fast-developing mar­ turn in financial reports until after the polls close on See ELECTION • Page 2 many people there," Oglesby said. replace Ken Smith there as the fifth ketplace that is the Americas at Both Oglesby and Masterson said resident master and the first woman the beginning of a new millenni­ resident master. um. studenls like having faculty mem­ bers in the residential colleges that Barber is a lecturer in computer The event is sponsored by the Month dedicated to women they can go to at all times. information science and has been at American Bar Association and "There's a presence of faculty the University since 1987. the Intel aineric an Bar members who are not just here Robert Moore, a professor and provide education on issues thai The Women's Resource Center Association. because of education but also former associate dean at the School • Women's affect women on a local, national was recently granted $5,000 on a It is open to the public with a because of a genuine interest in stu­ of Education since 1975, will Resource Center and global level. The issues lhat the trial basis for three years. The fund­ registration fee. For more infor­ dent life here and a dedication to the become the resident master at WRC addresses throughout the year ing enabled the Center to be open mation, call (312)988-5714. students," Oglesby said. Mahoney Moore is currently asso­ plans month's include health/wellness, diversity full-time from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. dur­ Patricia Whitely, who will replace ciate master at Mahoney. awareness, sexuality, leadership, ing the week, and helped to staff the Butler next fall, said the other three He is the first African-American events career development, social justice, center and take care of operational today's weather resident masters were appointed resident master. global issues and violence against and administrative costs By DANA L. CAIRO now for fall of 1998 in order to Butler said appointing the resi­ women. However, additional funding was Hurricane Staff Writer PARTLY CLOUDY begin planning for the transition dent masters from within was an In addition, issues such as sexual used to help fund the events ul March is Women's History Month The skies will be partly period. important choice for the University. harassment and low self-esteem Women's History Month. and the Women's Resource Cenler cloudy throughout the day, "There was a richness of talent "These people have already dis­ plague women, especially those in According to junior Kisha Wright, Programming Board has been plan­ with lows in the lower to mid and an opportunity to plan ahead." tinguished themselves." Butler said. college. Many of the events planned this months' evenls could use more ning events since the beginning of 70s and highs in the mid 80s. Whitely said. "Dr. Masterson and I "We're pleased to accentuate the will provide a way to show women publicity. the year. Advertisements have been Winds will be out of the south­ can move ahead and plan with these values of each college." that they can he powerful and over- Rebecca Lobo of the U.S. posted all around the University of east at 10 mph. new resident masters." The residential college program conic these issues Women's Olympic Basketball Team Miami about upcoming activities Rothlein. assistant dean and pro­ has been at the University for 12 These events will help women and NCAA Player of the Year, will - National Weathet SeYT>*» that address women's issues. fessor at the School of Education, ycais lose their fears and become more visit ihe University. The Women's Resource Center will go to Eaton. Rothlein is cur­ Whitely said it was loosely mod­ aggressive. A women's commission Wnghl said. "Rebecca Lobo is (WRC). which was established at rently associate master at Stanford eled on universities such as Harvard breakfast is planned for tomoiTow, coming and not many people know back issue UM on April 13, 1994, by the Residential College. and Yale, but the UM model is at which Metro-Dade County about it. This is detrimental to suc­ Undergraduate Studeni Rothlein will replace Paul unique. Commissioner Katy Sorenson will cess ." The programming board. G.O.P. CANES Government, co-sponsored an open­ Lazarus as Eaton resident master. "The Miami plan has really speak on "Educating, Encouraging, which consists til 20 women, has ing ceremonies luncheon yesterday On this day in 1988, an She has been at Ihe Universily since caught the attention of all of higher and Empowering Women: The Role been advertising throughout the along with the School of Continuing opinion poll published in The 1976. education, something we can be of Women in Politics." school, including setting up a booth Studies and the Panhellenic Council. Miami Hurricane revealed thai proud of," Butler said. All of the events planned will be at last week's Cami Gras Whitely said Rothlein's jump This event featured guest speaker 48.2 percent of those surveyed Butler said the resident musters open to anyone that attends them, Wright said wilh Lobo, the name from Stanford to Eaton is not Mary Doyle of the UM Law School considered themselves are an important asset to the especially the activity for March 25. itself should draw a lot of people. uncommon and was the first of nearly a dozen "Personal Renewal: Someday is "lt has happened a few times." events throughout the month of Here." This will be a workshop on Whitely said, "We fell she'd he an March. The purpose of these events, See MASTERS • Page 2 encouraging personal renewal, set­ asset to continue Ihe work going on as well as the goal of the WRC. is to See WOMEN • Page 2 ting and reaching personal goals

Republican. Democrats came . Iwitthirin hdsecon witIndependenthd 24.wit7 hperceni s26. i7n .a percen closet PAGE 2 > TllK HI\MI Hi itKM \ TUESDAY, MARCH 4,1997 LJ UM actors bring tales to life •COMMITTEE ON ship expert Ellen Gootblatt tonight INTERNATIONAL STUDENT at 7:30 p.m. in the UC internation­ • Freshmen perform "ORGANIZATIONS (COISO): al lounge. International Women's Day cele­ • HABITAT FOR HUMANITY: at Canterbury school bration will take place on the The House that U Built. Be a part University Center Patio from 10 of a house completely built and By SARAH GUARNACCIA a.m. to 4 p.m. tomorrow. Join us sponsored by UM. Meeting will be Assistant News Editor for music, food and prizes. held Wednesday, March 19, at UM freshman theater students entertained a 7:30 p.m. in UC 241. • BAPTIST STUDENT UNION: young audience last week at the Canterbury • REMINDER: 77M- Hurricane will Don't miss Thursday night live at Preschool while reinforcing methods of acting. the BSU at 1200 Stanford Drive not be printing issues on March Performing familiar fairy tales to four- and every week at 8 p.m. For fellow­ 11, March 14 or March 18. The five-year-olds, the students shared the work they ship, music, drama, speakers, vol­ Hurricane will resume printing on have been doing for the last semester. leyball and fun. For more info, call Friday, March 21. The deadline for Maggie McClellan, freshman acting teacher, Girard Middleton at 667-1066. inclusion on March 21 is said the students have been studying the acting Wednesday, March 19, by 5 p.m. • WOMEN'S RESOURCE methods of Michael Chekov, whose work is very CENTER: The WRC. Student Life lb post your events in our physical. and Hurricane Productions will "The students have to create a story physical­ hold "Meeting. Dating and compus calendar, stop by our ly," McClellan said. Mating—250 Questions To Ask office in University Center, Rm. 221. The idea of taking the work out of the class­ LUCIANO BLOTTA/ Hurricane Photographs Before You Go Further in a room and putting it on its feet for an audience has Relationship." Join us for this Also visit The Humcane Online for THE CHILDREN'S HOUR: Freshmen in th" University Theater Department brought fairy tales additional postings heen something McClellan has done with stu­ such like Little Red Riding Hood to life for children at the Canterbury Preschool on Friday interactive program with relation­ dents in the past. 'it's always worked wonderfully well. Students They want to hear stories," she said. have a wonderful time," she said. McClellan said. When giving the assignment to her studenls The young children watched as the theater stu­ Not only did the theater students have vaiious campus crime blotter about a month ago, McClellan told them to pre­ dents narrated and pantomimed stories like the versions of characters, such as a goat, bu' the tend that they were performing for an audience LJ Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Billy young audience developed various versions of on his car. There were several other Goats Gruff. their own. that was half-deaf and half-blind. This helped the WEDNESDAY, FEB. 26 drama students to take full advantage of their cmn scratches on the paint. The driver "This brings a sense of drama to young chil­ "A little boy instantly made little horns," said A unit was dispatched to Baker voices and bodies to get the story across to the of the car named a suspect who had dren," McClellan said. freshman Joel Allen. Act a student who was despondent Allen said he thought it was interesting that small children. threatened to scratch the car after a The theater students were picked at a moments and needed medical attention. The children could envision characters at such a "I think they really enjoyed having us. We real­ fight. notice to act out a fellow student's memorized student had threatened to seriously fairy tale. young age. ly made them use their sense of hearing and A visiting professor left her sight," said freshman Tony Ford. hurt employees of the University. Most of the performing was improvisational, "It's interesting that everyone has their own office locked and relumed the next The student was voluntarily admit­ without any rehearsal. vision as to what certain characters are," Allen Ali Cohen enjoyed the experience of perform day to find her stereo was missing ted to Mercy Hospital. Students relied on their own devices when said. ing for such a warm audience. "They're really a great audience and ven A UM employee left her office The victim said a member of the developing the physicality of characters such as a According to McClellan, the children were unconditional listeners and all they wanted to see appreciative too, rather than being in a profes­ door closed when she went to the cleaning crew must have taken the wolf, a goat or a king. were the "big kids telling a story." sional situation. They are very personal," she mailroom. During that time, some­ stereo because she clearly remem­ "It was an opportunity to work in improvisa­ "These young kids are very non-judgmental. said. one entered the room and stole her bers leaving her door locked. tional situations with a wonderful audience," wallet and car keys. The victim said she left her door closed and MONDAY, FEB. 24 CELEBRATING HERITAGE when she relumed she found the A UM student said an unknown UM's 'Wheelchair door ajar. person stole the fog lights from the A UM student said she observed front grill of his car. The lights are a large, heavy-set black male in her listed at $150. living room. The man ran out the A UM employee said unknown Challenge' Friday front door when she confronted persons took a number of items advantage of school field trips and the him. The victim did not have her from his car. The rear of the car is • Disabled Dade disabled ones that are left out. covered by a topper with no win­ contact lenses on and could not "It is their big day to leave the cam­ dows. Ttie suspect gained entry by give a good description. There was children to visit, pus," Fox said. pulling off the right-side access nothing stolen from the apartment. play games While serving on various committees The man entered from a window panel, causing the locking rods to some graduate students are responsible left open on the second floor. break. By SARAH GUARNACCIA for developing accessible games a The UM Public Safety A UM student parked his car and Hurricane Staff Writer activities for the disabled students Department responded to a bomb when he returned, the car was The I Oth Annual Wheelchair "The committee is coming up wnh threat in the Learning Center. The missing. There was broken glass Challenge will take place on the games and obstacle courses for them.' voice that phoned in the bomb next to the parking space where the University Center Patio March 7, in Fox said. "We've got about 20 different hopes of raising public and campus wide threat was a computer-generated vehicle w^s. balloon games and foot things for some awareness of people with physical and of the kids. We think of both types ol male voice. No bomb was found. Unknown suspects removed a mental disabilities. kids. We don't discriminate against a parking permit from a student's car The event will provide 311 Dade child." after pushing in the driver's side TUESDAY, FEB. 25 County Public School disabled students There will also be a customized van window. A UM student reported that an opportunity to participate in games. equipped for the disabled on display someone stole his parking permit A UM studeni was in the Headed by the physical therapy "It gives people, especially teachers, a out ol his car. There was no sign of University Cenler -sitting down department, graduate students get a chance to see what's available." Fo* forced entry. when a suspect took her pager. A chance to work with their patients and said. "It's more of an educational thing' others outside of the usual environment. A UM student said that an witness whom the victim does not With raffles and soliciting donations. With the theme "A Day at the Circus," unknown person used a sharp know told the victim she observed the event will also raise funds in order to UM student jugglers, clowns and obsta­ help the students attend Special object to scratch (he word "p—y" the suspect taking the pager. cle courses will be on hand. Olympic games throughout the state. "It's a really big deal to them," said Any UM student is welcome to volun VOTER TURNOUT Christina Fox, a chairperson for the teer their time with the event. The ph\s |.J. CAMA-LOBO / Hurricane Photographer event and physical therapy graduate stu­ ical therapy department is looking fot BREAKING BREAD: The Shabbat services on Friday dent. more students who are interested in jug­ According to Fox, it is the able-bod­ During last week's Student Government elec­ brought students together to kick off Jewish Awareness gling or contributing to the circus Month. ied students that usually get to take theme. tions, a vast majority of students did not cast their ballots. Traditionally, voter turnout has been even lower during runoffs. Charges against Fatzinger reduced TOTAL VOTER TURNOUT on Thursday. If a runoff is said that graphic campaigning himself against the charge concern From ELECTION • Page 1 announced, candidates can repost begins al 12 midnight and in the ing the board tent by citing the code their materials. codes it says it begins right away," that says graphic campaigning Propos said the student's wearing "[Fatzinger's opponents] saw it Propos said. "That was an oversight begins immediately after the runotf the weeble was the reason she after the runoff, so they didn't know by the Elections Commission. We is announced and not at midnight brought charges against Fatzinger for sure when it was posted," Propos need to go by the codes." Propos said in appealing the wee after his first appeal was over. said. "It could have been taken Propos said the EC's oversight led ble charge to the Supreme Court. "As we were going into the SC to down and put back up." to confusion. Fatzinger said the campaign time hear the appeal, someone that was Propos said because of the confu­ "Based on those contradictory was unclear because of the with his campaign was wearing a sion, Fatzinger was not assessed any statements, that's why they said they Elections Commission's announce­ weeble on the bill of his hat and points. didn't know," Propos said. "The ment that graphic campaigning that's considered graphic campaign The Elections Commission found candidates weren't sure if it was a would begin at midnight. material and you're not allowed to Fatzinger guilty of the weeble viola­ graphic campaign time or not." "The Supreme Court said it was graphic campaign in any official SG tion and assessed seven points, Propos said during the Supreme confusion and they reduced the meeting," Propos said. Propos said. Court hearing when the weeble was charges," Propos said. Fatzinger was also charged with Fatzinger appealed to the Court worn, the Court did not feel that Propos said more charges could VOTER TURNOUT BY CLASS REGISTRATION graphic campaigning violations hy for the second time that night. The Fatzinger deserved the points be brought up against either candi­ the "It's All Up to U" ticket of oppo­ Court reduced the charge to two assessed against him. date as the runoff elections progress 400 r nent Jonathan Brill, a junior. points. Propos said Fatzinger used the either by the other ticket or hy the The charge concerned the placing Propos said the Court reduced the defense of the confusion of graphic- Elections Commission. of a board deck, a sign advertising charge because there was confusion campaigning times when charged "Candidates can turn in violation* Fatzinger's campaign, by the associated with whether or not it with the board lent violation, and until the polls close on Wednesday Apartment Area. was graphic campaigning time was not assessed points by the Propos said. "On Thursday, the onl) Propos said all campaigning again. Elections Commission. violations that would be brought up material must be removed hy 5 p.m. "When I announced the runoff we Propos said Fatzinger defended are financial reports." UM events celebrate New masters named From MASTERS • PageT" predecessors have been," women's history Masterson said. University, not just the siudenis Masterson said the admimslra administrator who provides them From WOMEN • Page 1 "The residential college turns the tion is also working on plans UJ with guidance throughout their campus into a living and learning connect the commuter populai um undergraduate college career. though the other events need lo be experience," Butler said. "This fact with a residential college and a res In addition to receiving advice, acknowledged, also brings about a bridge between the ident master. the students are able to get valuable The Women's Resource Center living and extra class component. Whitely and Masterson said the) personal and career related support, holds other events throughout the When the masters go into the are also looking into ways to gel Class Registration network with women on campus year to raise awareness of women's world they spread the good word " the resident masters more involved and discuss issues that are relevant issues. Masterson, who worked as an with freshmen from day one, try to today's women. The WRC The Clothesline Project, which is associate master and resident mas­ ing to incorporate the residential encourages all women to participate a visual display protesting violence ter for years before becoming vice colleges more into the orientation in every one of these events against women, takes place in provost, said he still receives let­ program. October. Whether through attending the Visit The ters, birth announcements and Butler said the residential col "Mating and Dating" lecture According to the Women's wedding announcements from for­ lege system has heen an integral tonight, learning aboul women Resource Center, it is a fact that one mer students he has kept in touch part in changing the behavior ol across the world at the International Humcane Online out of every four women is a victim with. University students over the last 1 2 Women's Day celebration on the ot tape and this artistic protest is an Moving into the transition peri­ years. palio tomorrow, or attending a allempl to bring this into awareness od, Whitely and Masterson said "What used lo be dorms are no* panel discussion on "Ethnic- today at and hopefully lessen the violence. they are going to expect more trinn colleges, and that's a dramatic Perceptions of Feminism" on The Women's Resource < the new resident masters. change of behavior," Butler said March 18, the organizers hope also sponsors a menlor program for "We're going to expect new mas­ "Vandalism is down, language is www.hurricane.miami.edu everyone will gain a belter under­ undergraduate women. Sludenl*. are ters to be even more involved in different. That doesn't mean every­ standing ofthe issues at hand paired up with a female faculty or undergraduale education lhan their thing's perfect, but it's improved." 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Check out the Sports Bar, China Room, and Daiquiri Bar in the Caribbean's largest dance club. Show your college ID for free admission until 9 p.m.

Babylon presents VsAia*, ladies night with free Saturday IBIZA admission for ladies until midnight. $2 off with Voted "Best place to dance" two years in a row, your college ID. Dress to impress in a San Juan Ibiza presents L'EINERQIE, the most energetic Hotel and Casino style. Music by DJ Gio dance night in the Caribbean. PU Sunday mi* •v^hiSdym Pl**p i&ilA. at Club Ibiza starts Sundays at 5 Club Red transforms into the largest sports bar p.m. with a $1 happy hour on Coors Light and ever seen. Rock music all night long. Don Q Cristal Dress in beach wear (the less the better). American dance and rock music By DJ Gio. For up-to-date party info call (787) 725-5555 Drinking age in Puerto Rico is 18 years old Be sure lo bring your ID ue. driver's license) KAMEL DonQ 0ISCOTEC4 aifei full tail mm COH rUMjtfCA IT MMM CRIS1AL R TUESDAY TRIVIA Who is credited with having TnniuMiiiiiiiiinu; invented modern baseball? QTUESDAY, MARCH 4,1997 Visit the Hurricane Online at www.hurricane.miami.edu for the answer

sports brjefs WOMEN'S GOLF FINISHES IN Mountaineers rock Canes, 82-54 1 ITH PLACE IN INVITATIONAL The University of Miami plagued the Canes, as did W«t ViraMo... 42 40 - J2 women's golf team finished in • Early lead Mountaineer guard Seldon Mtlttrl 30 M-ti 11th place at the 25th Annual Jefferson, who scored 15 points and ni SunTrust Women's Collegiate turns into stole the ball three times. WVU was WntVlrglM •*• -I* fit* H Pi ph Golf Invitational in virtually unstoppable in the half hit­ Owens 12 5-13 3-5 2-10 2 |] Solheim 29 1-2 2-4 1-4 2 4 Gainesville, Fla. second-half ting 47% of their shots, 50% from Malone 17 2-5 2-2 3-5 1 6 The Canes (295-298- behind the three-point line. Jefferson 29 8-15 3-5 1-1 0 23 296=889) shot a final round of nightmare Canes coach Leonard Hamilton Pledger 27 an 0-2 4-4 2 Ih Varejao 17 i-i 0-0 2-3 5 J 314 on Sunday, their top team said, "Their defensive pressure Wesl 15 1*5 2-2 0-1 0 4 score of the tournament. By JONATHAN SANTUCCI caused us to turn the ball over. Liguorl 17 2-5 2-2 1-2 1 K The Hurricanes were led by Assistant Sports Editor That's probably the most athletic Lewin ts (HI 0-0 0-0 2 fl junior Brandi Miller (79-78- team that we've played all year." Goree 4 1-1 2-2 1-3 0 4 Senior night for the Miami D'Alesio 2 (1-1 0-0 o-o o n 75=232) who finished tied for Hurricanes men's basketball team The second half was no better for lones 3 0-0 0-0 0-1 0 i 25th place in the individual started out well, but ended as a the Canes. Beynon 2 l-l (Ml o-o n 2 rankings. Sophomore Shayne nightmare, as they were trounced by West Virginia opened the half Team Rebounds 1-4 Wild (80-76-82=238) finished the West Virginia Mountaineers 82- with a 14-2 run, holding the Canes fa«s 700 3042 1*24 16-31 II 12 tied for 43rd place. 54, Saturday night at the Miami scoreless for the first four minutes of re*-4/1 HV.750 3flVSO0 Louisiana State University Arena. the half. In the first eight minutes of nt won the event by nine strokes The Canes opened the game with the half, the Mountaineers led the Minn ttm •fr* ft ho M pi pti over Tennessee. the seniors dominating. Center Will Canes 58-34, with both Canes bas­ Fraser 17 3-4 2-3 1-1 1 K The golf team will return to Davis scored three points and for­ kets coming from guard Johnny Davis 7 1- 1 1-2 0-1 1 I Hemsley. Clark 17 3-9 n-i 0-2 4 " the greens on March 24 at the ward Alex Fraser scored seven McCormick 24 0-3 0-0 2-3 1 n River Wilderness Invitational points in the firstfiv e minutes, while In the second half, the Norris 31 1-3 2-2 0-3 2 ! in Sarasota, Fla. forward Tim James capped an 11-0 Mountaineers led by as many as 31 Barnes 16 2 .3 2-4 0-0 4 ., run, with an eye-popping slam dunk points, and their defensive pressure Bland 19 1-2 1-2 0-1 n i lames 25 4-12 2-2 2-5 o m TRACK AND FIELD TEAMS that brought the 5,868 in attendance caused 11 more Miami turnovers— Jennings 13 1-1 0-0 0-1 4 | BREAK SCHOOL RECORDS AT to their feet. leading to nine points. Hemsley 19 3-6 3-3 1-4 i q The Canes 18-7 lead brought back The Canes were led by James, Walker 10 0-1 0-0 o-i n o FAST TIMES INVITATIONAL Donovan 2 0-0 0-0 0-1 0 (l memories of a team that had once who scored 10 points and had five The men's and women's Team Rebounds 0-4 won seven out of eight games this rebounds, while Hemsley scored track and field teams compet­ trtok nine. 200 IMS 13-lt 6-27 II Si ed at the Florida Fast Times season, instead of one that was on a West Virginia was led by Jefferson KV 42? 1TV-.M4 3FIV273 Track and Field Invitational on four-game losing streak. who scored 23, and forward Damian Thursday, Feb. 27. The Canes went up 22-13 at 10:25 Assists- Wesl Virginia 20 (Owens 7, Jefferson Owens, who nearly missed a triple- 5, Solheim 4 , Wesl 2, Pledger, (ones!, Miami For the women, junior of the first half and then were held without a field goal until there was double with 13 points, 10 rebounds 1 5 INorris 7 McCormick 3. Davis, Clark Yolanda McCray won the 55- and seven assists. Barnes. Bland, Jenningsl meter hurdles with a time of 37 seconds left in the half, when Nocks- Wesl Viig nia 2 (Solheim, Vm After the game, Hamilton seemed Miami 5 iBIand 2 Fraser Barne* , lames) 7.67. Junior Patrina Allen guard Vernon Jennings hit a three- confused as to why his team was in placed second in the same point shot. a slump. Steals-West Virginia 14 (Owens I, Id event (7.72). West Virginia went on a 27-2 run 3, Pledger 3, Solheim 2, Malone. W.*st "Normally, when you see a team Sophomore Alina Pinto over thai nine-minute span, and led J.J. GAMA-LOBO / Hurricane Photographer Liquori), Miami 7 (Fraser 3. ('lark. Norris, that falls apart toward the end of the Bland, Hemsltv broke the school record in the at half-time 42-30. In the first half, DUNK: Lucas Barnes (32) drives up for two of his six points during Ihe West Virginia defense forced the year there are underlying prob­ Three-pointers- West Virginia 6-16 (Jefferson 5,000-meter run, posting a 4-8, Liguori 2 4, West I) 1 D'Alesio 0-11, lems...we don't have any of that." Saturday's game. The Canes play next in the Big East Tournament. time of 17:29.40. Canes into committing 16 turnovers Miami 3-11 (Clark 1-4, Norris 1-3, Jennings I by pressuring the ball before Miami Hamilton is also concerned about 1, lames 0-1, McCormick 0-2) On the men's side, sopho­ could get it past midcourt. West the team's confidence, saying, "We gone from a team that thought it games of the season; going into the more Caldrequis Lesley came Virginia scored 21 points off of appear to have lost our confidence could attack a freight train to a team Big East tournament they are 15-11, Attendance- 5,868 out with a victory in the 55- Points off turnovers- Wesl Virginia 32, Miami Miami turnovers. along the way, something has that appears to allow adversity to 9-9. The Big East tournament is held meter hurdles in a time of 15 drained confidence from us. We've affect us." at Madison Square Garden in New UM sets school Big Easl attendance record- 7.26. In the preliminaries, Errant passes and stupid mistakes The Canes lost their final five York City. 1996-970-48,093 Lesley ran a time of 7.20, breaking the school record. The time also was an NCAA automatic qualification. Men win at home; women lose on the road Junior Chris Miller finished second in the 5,000-meter run Russell fought back to overcome (14.54) and broke the school • Men beat USA's John James, the 27th-rankeJ record. Junior Davian Clarke player in the nation, 4-6, 6-0, 64. came in fourth in the 400- Noles; Tigers in Rodrigo had an easier time at the meter dash (47.14) and provi­ number two spot beating V -'•< sionally qualified for the weekend home ranked Nic Chisholm, 6-1,6-1. NCAA. Senior Tony Gaiter fin­ The Hurricanes return to action on ished fifth in the same event series Sunday, March 9, when they go and also made the NCAA pro­ By MICHELLE YEE head-to-head against third-ranked Georgia in Athens, Ga. visional qualification time. Sports Editor The 25th-ranked women's tennis Junior Ryan Dall placed The University of Miami men's team also played this weekend, los­ fourth in the pole vault (4.61 tennis team attempted a clean sweep ing both matches on the road. meters) and freshman Aaron this weekend, but fell short as they On Friday, the women's tennis Moser finished in fifth place took two of three matches at the Neil team was swept, 6-0, by ninth- (4.61 meters). Schiff Tennis Center. ranked William and Mary (8-3) in The 30th-ranked Hurricanes Williamsburg, Va. The loss dropped dropped their first match of the MIAMI BASEBALL TEAM the Hurricanes to 6-3 on the season DROPS THREE-GAME SERIES weekend, Friday, against 10th- ranked University of South William and Mary took all singles AGAINST TEXAS Alabama, 4-3. matches which meant that no dou­ bles matches had to be played The University of Miami Miami was able to come back and Senior Caroline Hora's loss at num­ baseball team lost all three beat 49th-ranked Clemson Saturday ber one singles, 3-6, 4-6, snapped games against the University of and 43rd-ranked Florida State her streak of 12 consecutive singles Texas on the road. University Sunday. match victories. On Friday, the Hurricanes The win against FSU improved lost a close contest, 4-3. Miami the Canes' record to 6-4 on the sea­ The only close match was at third jumped ahead with two runs in son. singles when junior Victoria Hum the second inning and one in After dropping all three doubles took it to three sets against William the third, but Texas grabbed LUCIANO BLOTTA / Hurricane Photographer and Mary's Carolijn van Rossum, 5- matches, UM was able to come back NET WORK: Michael Russell (foreground) makes a return close to the net during Saturday's match. three runs in the bottom of the and take four of the six singles 7, 7-6,4-6. third. The Longhorns sealed The Hurricanes came back matches against Ihe Seminoles. dominated over the Seminoles' two of three doubles matches. Ken Wasserman and Luis Garcia 8- their victory with a run in the Saturday only to lose to sixth-ranked "I'm very pleased how we fought Michael Ingham, 6-0, 6-2, at sixth Once again, Russell was able to 4. fifth inning, the last of the Mississippi, 7-1. The Canes dropped back after losing the doubles point," singles. pull out a victory at the number two game. On Friday, despite victories at even farther to 6-4 on the season said head coach Rodney Harmon. "I thought Ivan Rodrigo, Wayne singles spot over Clemson's Bruce Despite 11 hits on the night, first and second singles, Miami while Ole Miss improved to 8-1 for Freshmen Ivan Rodrigo and Boich and Fernando Borja all played Li, 7-6,7-6. Russell's victory was the Hurricanes hurt their dropped the last four and the first the year. Michael Russell captured the num­ really well," said Harmon. the deciding point of Miami's doubles match to lose 4-3 to the chances by adding five errors Freshman Meredith Laughlin ber one and two singles, respective­ Sunday's matchup was the 45th match. University of South Alabama. earned the only victory for Miami at See BRIEFS • Page 5 ly. Rodrigo, the nation's 48th-ianked between Miami and Florida State. Other victories for the Hurricanes Tenth-ranked USA improved their fifth singles over Irena Mihailova, 6- player, defeated FSU's Antonio The Hurricanes are now 40-5 in the were junior Arturo Zizold, freshman record to 6-4 with their victory over 4, 4-6, 6-4. Prieto, 6-0, 7-6. series. The last meeting between the Arpad Odry, freshman Fernando the Hurricanes. Ole Miss' Agnes Muzamel, the Russell, the nation's seventh- two teams was in 1995, in which Borja and the doubles team of The decisive match came when this week's sports nation's second-ranked player, cap ranked player, eased passed the Miami beat the then-18th-ranked Russell and Rodrigo. South Alabama junior Marius Swart tured a victory over UM's Caroline TUESDAY, MARCH 4 Seminoles' Ty Braswell, 6-4, 6-1. FSU team 5-2. Miami captured fourth through edged out Zizold at third singles. Hora, 6-2, 6-3, at number one sin The win helped Russell improve his On Saturday, the Canes were able sixth singles with strong matches by Swart posted a 6-2, 4-6, 6-4 victory W Basketball - Big East Chmp. gles. Hora has now dropped her lasl singles record to 30-3 for the season. to edge out a close victory against Zizold, Odry and Borja, respective­ that sealed USA's win over Miami. Storrs, Conn. two singles matches. Junior Wayne Boich and freshman 49th-ranked Clemson, 4-3. ly. Odry beat Clemson's Pablo Russell and Rodrigo led the way The Hurricanes return to the Fernando Borja were also able to Like Sunday, the match against Bellagamba despite losing the first for the Hurricanes, with wins at the WEDNESDAY, MARCH 5 courts on Friday, March 7 when they capture victories against FSU. Boich Clemson (2-2) was a tale of the best set, 3-6,6-1,6-2. At second doubles, number one and two singles' spots, M Tennis vs. Temple take on 40th-ranked Oklahoma Stale took the third singles match from singles players as Miami dropped Russell/Rodrigo beat Clemson's respectively. 1 ;30 p.m., Schiff Center Alex Oolub, 6-3, 6-1, and Borja at the Neil Schiff Tennis Center M Basketball - Big East Tourn. New York, N.Y. THURSDAY, MARCH 6 UM soccer club defeats top- M Basketball - Big East Tourn. New York, N.Y. ranked Lauderdale Lakers 3-2 Baseball @ Florida Int'l. Univ. 7 p.m., FIU Campus • New month begins Both Miami and the Lauderdale Lakers are members of the Gold Coast League, which the FRIDAY, MARCH 7 with a win Lakers are leading. Sunday's matchup was also the first game with M Basketball - Big East Tourn. By MICHELLE YEE the Hurricanes' new interim coach New York, N.Y. Sports Editor According to Levya, Rigal Civil, Miami's last Baseball - Florida Int'l. Univ. Three's the charm for Ihe University of Miami coach, left his position to pursue another job 7 p.m., Mark Light Stadium soccer club after they pulled off an upset against opportunity. the No. I-ranked Lauderdale Lakers at the The Hurricanes' three goals were scored by W Tennis - Oklahoma State Intramural Fields on Sunday. junior Colin Seaman, senior Pablo Levinas and 1 p.m., Schiff Tennis Center Alter tying their last two matches, Miami was graduate studeni Guillermo Becerra. able to break their streak with a 3-2 victory. Miami's record is now 8-4-5. M/W Indoor Track - "We've been playing a lot better the last couple "If we keep playing like we have been, then NCAA Championships we'll keep winning," said Levya. of weeks," said soccer club President Carlos u Indianapolis, Ind* Levya. "The victory was not surprising; I knew The Canes next match will be Sunday, March , f. HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor against P.B. Kicks GOAL: The UM soccer club won Sunday, defeating Lauderdale Lakers. we would win sometime." M - men's, W - women's mrotiw.*n,iw. .TlOmil Hi MUM .wets

From BRIEFS • Page 4 Hurricanes prepare for Big East Tournament in the game. ID. Arteaga pitched eight They defeated the Canes in their only meeting. innings with two strikeouts • Miami will face St. John's (8-10, 13-13): The Red Storm are BIG EAST (HAMPIONSHIP FORMAT 1 and no earned runs and was the 10th seed in the Big East tournament. The given the loss, dropping his record to 0-2. St. John's in first team is led in scoring and rebounding by cen­ First Round Quarterfinals Semifinals Championship ter Zendon Hamilton, with 16.4 ppg and 9.4 On Saturday. Miami came Wed., March 5 Thur., March 6 Fri., March 7 Sat., March 8 round rpg out for a pounding by Texas, Guard Felipe Lopez averages 16 ppg and #8 Syracuse losing 22-3. The hits depart­ 6.9 rpg. St. John's scores 67.2 ppg and allows ment was no contest: the By JONATHAN SANTUCCI 66.8 ppg. They swept the Canes this season. 11.00 a.m. -ESPN2 Longhorns had 22 hits on the Assistant Sports Editor Connecticut (7-11, 14-13): UConn has been night, the Hurricanes four. #9 Notre Dame The Miami Hurricanes men's basketball hampered by suspensions this year, but has 12:00 p.m. • ESPN2 Texas broke away with six team travels to New York City for the Big East found a future star in freshman guard Richard #1 Villanova runs in the fifth and iced the tournament (March 5-8 at Madison Square Hamilton. Hamilton averages 14.2 points per sweet victory with 13 in the Garden), and a chance at an automatic bid in game, while forward Kevin Freeman leads the seventh inning. #4 Providence the NCAA tournament. team in rebounding with 5.9 rpg. Guard Ricky Six pitchers came out for 7:00 p.m. • ESPN The competition breaks down as follows: Moore averages 5.9 assists per game and 1.8 1 O0 p.m. - ESPN Miami, but Darin Spassoff Villanova (12-6, 21-8): Ranked 18 in the steals. The Huskies average 65.3 ppg and received the loss. Spassoff nation and is the top seed in the Big East tour­ allow a league-low 59.9 ppg. UConn and #13 Rutgers pitched four innings, giving up nament. Guard Alvin Williams is the team's Miami split their season meetings. seven hits and five earned leading scorer at 16.3 ppg, while center Jason Georgetown (10-7, 18-8): The Hoyas have 2:00 p.m.-ESPN runs. He is now 3-2 on the Lawson is their top rebounder with 7.9 rpg. been ranked as high as 24th this season, and #5 VV. Virginia season. and also leads the Big East with 2.9 Mocks per have one of the leagues top players in guard In their last game of the 3:30 p.m. -ESPN game. They average 74.6 ppg, while allowing Victor Page. Page averages 22.5 points and 2.4 BIG EAST series on Sunday afternoon, just 66.6 ppg. The Canes defeated them in steals per game. Forward Ya Ya Dia leads the #12 Seton Hall FINALS CHAMPION Miami fell short of a victory their only meeting this year. league in rebounds with 10.2 rpg, and guard 5:00 CM. • t>HM losing 12-13. Boston College (12-6. 18-8): Ranked as Ed Sheffey averages 3.7 assists per game. Automatic The Hurricanes lost on a high as 19th this season, they are the third seed They average 70.3 ppg and allow 62.4 ppg. NCAA Berth game-winning double by in the Big East tournament. They were swept by the Canes this season. #7 Miami Patrick Walsh off of closer The Eagles' top scorer and rebounder is for­ Providence (10-7, 19-9): The Friars are led 7:30 p.m. - ESPN2 Robbie Morrison (1-2) in the ward Danya Abrams, who averaged 16.5 ppg by forward Austin Croshere and guard God bottom of the tenth inning. and 8.1 rpg. Guard Scoonie Penn averaged 2 Shammgod. Croshere averages 18.4 points #10 St. lohn's 7:00 p.m - ESPS2 Miami is now 10-9 on the steals per game, and forward Antonio Granger and 7.9 rebounds per game. Shammgod aver­ season and Texas improved its is the top three-point shooter in the league. ages a league best 6.6 assists per game and 2.8 #2 Georgetown record to 15-4. They average 74.5 ppg, and allow 69.5 ppg. steals. They average 76.5 ppg and allow 69.8 They swept the Canes this season. #6 Pittsburgh ppg. They lost to the Canes in their only meet­ 9.00 p.m. - ESPN SPRING FOOTBAU PRACTICE West Virginia (11-7, 18-8): We«t Virginia is ing this season. 9:30 p.m. - LSPN2 SCHEDULE RELEASED the fifth seed in the tournament. Guard Seldon Pittsburgh (9-8, 15-13): Pitt is led by guard The Hurricane football prac­ Jefferson averages 14.7 points and 4.4 assists Vonteego Cummings, who averages 16 points #11 Connecticut 0:00 p.m. - ESPN tice schedule was released for per game. and 4.1 assists per game. Center Mark Blount #3 Boston Coll. the 1997 spring season. Center Gordon Malone averages 7.9 averages 7.1 rebounds per game, and guard Miami's first practice will be rebounds per game. The Mountaineers lead Jason Maile has made more three-point shots on Tuesday. March 18, after the league in scoring with 81.2 ppg, and allow than anyone else in the league. spring break. Tentatively, there a league-high 74 ppg. They defeated the Canes Pitt averages 69.1 ppg and allows 67.4 ppg. guard Jason Hart averages 6.1 assists per team is scoring a leaguc-low 64.4 ppg and will be 15 practices from in their only meeting. The Canes split the season series with them. game. They average 75.5 ppg and allow 68.4 allows 67.9 ppg. The Canes split the season March 18- April 12. The last Notre Dame (8-10, 14-11): The Fighting Syracuse (9-8,18-10): The Orangemen, at ppg. The Canes beat them in their only con­ meetings with them. two practices, April 11 and 12, Irish's top player is forward Pat Garrity. one point in the season, were ranked as high as test. Seton Hall (4-13, 9-17): The Pirates are led are alumni reunion practices. Garrity is averages 21.2 points and 7.6 11th in the nation. They are led by forward Rutgers (5-13. 11-15): The Scarlet Knights by guard Shaheen Holloway, who averages There will be a scrimmage rebounds per game. Guard Admore White Todd Burg an who averages 16 points per are led by guard Geoff Billet, who averages 14 17.6 points and 6.3 assists per game. They between the current team and averages 6.3 assists and 1.8 steals per game. game and 7.6 rebounds per game. Center Otis points and 3.7 assists per game. Eric Clark score 68.4 ppg and allow 73.5 ppg. The Canes alumni on the last day with full The Irish score 70.7 ppg and give up 69.4 ppg. Hill averages 15.5 points per game, while leads the team in rebounding with 6.3 rpg. The beat them in their only meeting. pads.AII spring practice ses­ sions will be open to the pub­ lic. The Canes practice on the Greentree Practice Field on www.hurricane.miami.edu the UM campus. RECYCLE • REDUCE • REUSE

PHI KAPPA PHI CELEBRATES 100 YEARS OF ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE £

spotlight

RECKLESS AT THE RING Craig Lucas's dark comedy Reckless will close out the Universitv of Miami's jerry Herman Ring Theater's Second Stage Series with performances starting March 4—8 p.m. and a matinee on March 8th at 2 p.m. Tickets are $6 with addi­ tional discounts for seniors and students. Call 305-284- 3355 for tickets on informa­ tion. The University of Miami Concert lazz Band under the direction of Whit Sidener will feature jazz pianist, composer and arranger jim McNeely in a concert of his own composi­ tions and arrangements. McNeely, a native of Chicago, has performed with Stan Getz, Phil Woods, Art Farmer, joe Henderson and a number of other jazz greats. McNeely is a well-known composer on the international jazz faculty at Fire walk witfe* David L New York University. Thursday, March 6, 8 p.m. Maurice Gusman Concert Hall, 1314 Miller Drive, Coral Cables, University of Miami in Campus. Free Admission. For Lost Hignw additional information call BY ZACH RALSTON instinctual reactions. Lost Highway is an anti­ anarchist, treating sex and violence as sensu­ Lost Highway is if anything, an interesting 305-284-5813. Film Critic dote to rationality: things can go just as horri­ ous desires rather than moral problems. But film. It doesn't aspire to be conventional, bui n At the Jackie Gleason bly wrong as they can go ecstatically enter­ when these psychological gimmicks surface as also doesn't aspire to be safely entertaining. Theater from March 4-9— taining. filler, the film grinds to a halt, as confusion Lynch admits that his dreams are often scary, Forever Tange, a dance recital, LOST HIGHWAY The story that pretends to be a plot, at least becomes a hindrance rather than an asset. It funny, twisted and terrible. And to see into his 8 p.m., Tue, Wed & Thur, $25, for the first hour, revolves around Fred often feels as if Lynch is being sick for the mind, we have to endure some of the ternWi.' SIS; 8 p.m., Fri & Sa, $35, Madison (Bill Pullman, whose tousled locks sake of being sick, hoping that abstract glut­ to get to the hidden genius. $29, $19; 3 p.m., Sun, $35, and Nordic features make him look suspi­ tony masks his lack of substantial ideas. $29, $19 Contact: BACI (out of four stars) ciously like a watered-down Lynch), a sax' Management (410)494-2700. player who is married to sexy Renee (under­ played seductively by Patricia Arquette). To sleep, perchance to dream. To dream, When mysterious videotapes of Fred and accent marks perchance to kill your wife, rob a pom star and Renee's private lives begin appearing on their blow out the brains of a gangster. Welcome to doorstep, the wealthy Los Angeles couple call Sound' Blast • Kate Winslet is now filming the world of David Lynch, a warped, unpre­ the cops, who offer no help. Unfortunately, the the new lames Cameron dictable world that has been responsible for as police arrest Fred a couple days later for slash­ Reznor hits the nails on the head for soundtrack, (Terminator 2: Judgement Day) many good dreams (like the darkly comic ing Renee to death, a murder he can't remem­ which overcomes miserable Marilyn Manson project Titanic, with Leonardo romance Wild at Heart) as bad ones (such as ber committing (and we can't remember By ZACH RALSTON cess, beginning with Trainspotting, Lou DiCaprio (What's Eating Dune, and Ihe crass, boorish JJ/M<" Velvet). watching). Music Critic Reed contributes the classic "This Magic Cillwrt Grapef). Her character Lynch's latest psychic nightmare Lost On death row, Fred inexplicably changes We have entered an age where movie Moment," and Reznor finds a way to make a is n.imed Rose Dewitt Bukater, Highway, is possibly his mosl schizophrenic bodies—his soul is transferred lo the youthful soundtracks have become as important as the 1960 ballad into a Lost Highway centerpiece "a well-bred young woman and dissociative entry, running all over the car mechanic Pete (Balthazar Getty, unsuc­ movies themselves, and the musical albums However, these gems are offset by a nasi) who yearns to experience life place faster than rapid eye movement. The cessfully imitating James Dean), who must be often outperform their celluloid counterparts. and boring song from The Smashing beyond the confines of the opening credits are immediately grabbing. We subsequently released from jail, since he Recent examples of music selling film Pumpkins called "Eye," which is mixed with first-class cabin." are hurled down a dark highway, yellow lines couldn't possibly have murdered Fred's wife. include Coolio's coup with 1995's dance beats and electronics lhat are a far cry • It is rumored that Michael racing by with blurry intensity to the beat of a Pete returns to work for his boss (I'ryor, in a Dangerous Minds and from the natural Biehn will star as Mad Max in throbbing David Bowie dance song. The thankless and condescending role), and the rap-grunge sounds strength of Gish or a fourth entry in the series, nanus of the cast shoot out at us, and we know resumes friendship wilh the evil Mr. Eddy of Judgment Night. Siamese Dream. Bill) replacing Mel Gibson. that there is something amiss, since these (Robert loggia). Mr. Eddy's mistress is Alice, Add those best sellers Corgan has entered the • Thn Inglish Patient received names include Henry Rollins, Gary Busey and a blonde bombshell, played by—yes, Patricia to this year's Romeo album, embarking on a summer tour. Lost Highway is an exercise in sensual film­ glimpse of his subconscious, a mind that does­ acquired the produc­ which also may be its The gig would be the group's making, geared for shock and surprise, rather n't connect from A to B. ing skills of nine inch biggest selling point, first public appearance since than cerebral connections. Characters become Early in the film, Fred states that he hates nails' industro-ruler is Marilyn Manson. Clinton's inauguration in 1993. other characters, and actors change faces like video cameras because, "I want to remember Trent Reznor, who Manson is a mistake to chameleons change colors. What lingers is not things the way 1 remember them. I don't want first sharpened his the music industry- a linear narrative, but singular images, with to reflect the way things really happened." knives producing and his dreadful cover emotions ranging from fear to sexual desire, This is the closest Lynch comes to telling us Oliver Stone's Natural of Screamin' Ja> and everything in between. straight-out his filmmaking motives. Realism Pboto courtesy of NOTHING RECORDS top ten songs Born Killers (NBK) Hawkins' "I Put - As expected with an experiment like this, has no part in his world; documentary is fic­ NATURAL BORN MISANTHROPE: tion and fiction is fantasy. soundtrack. Lost Spell On You" would Top ten albums from the not everything is consistently good or bad. Trent Reznor produces the Lost be laughable if it was For much of the movie, especially the first Highway, the film, has Billboard chart: Lynch is beyond good and evil, until his films Highway soundtrack__^__^__^__^__^__^__^-t'. so embarrassing half, Lynch's images are brilliant. He shows a visceral intensity simi- define a context of their own, and all we can do Manson grunts out his 1. Secret Samadhi rare talent for personifying the id, and denying lar to NBK that fits as viewers is respond with base impulses and vocals like he's choking on a chicken bone, - Live the superego. Filmically, Lynch is a Freudian with Reznor's subtlety-impaired brand of shock rock. and he has about as much humor as a film J Unchained Melody / The Reznor pulls no punches in the production about the Holocaust. It's a wonder he and his Early Years of the soundtrack. Although much of the band have become so popular, as if the aural - LeAnn Rimes album consists of the musical score written equivalent of chewing tinfoil somehow w» soothing to punk teenagers. > Baduizm by Lynch composer Angelo Badalamenti frykah Badu (and what a score!), many of the cuts are Manson gives atheists a bad name. His laced with crunchy feedback and techno sophomoric, dense. anti-Christian messages 4. Tragic Kingdom drums that come standard on Reznor's are as poorly-conceived and dismally banal - No Doubt Nothing label, a subsidiary of Interscope. as the ideals he is condemning. Every song 5. Spice Nine inch nails' "Perfect IDrug" has a slick he writes has the words "hate" or "death'' in - Spice Girls video and an upbeat pulse common to the title, as if we, the audience, were sup­ Reznor's popular singles, and it will no doubt posed to commiserate with the poor suffering 6. Pieces Of You sell the soundtrack. Lyrics like "The more I of a thoughtless, bourgeois loser whose idea - Jewel give to you/the more I die" will not surpnse of art is dressing like a skeleton and scream 7. Soundtrack from Lost nine inch nails fans expecting a song with the ing. Highway same angst-heavy sentiments as /VflATs rela­ Amazingly enough, the Manson songs fii - Various Artists tive "Burn." well with the soundtrack, since the film is an The best music on the soundtrack comes assembly of images and thoughts which are 8. Tru 2 Da Game hy way of David Bowie, whose new "I'm incohesive and vary in quality. Just as /.<'»' -Tru Deranged" piece, co-written by Brian Eno. Highway the film has moments of genius 9. Secrets starts off the album and the movie with a outweighing its twisted errors, David Bowie - Toni Braxton Photos courtesy of OCTOBER FILMS bang. It's a deliriously entertaining song, fast and Angelo Badalamenti are Losl Highway 10 Falling Into You ON THE ROAD: Alice Wakefield, played by Palric ia Arquette, stares intently in Lost and mean. the soundtrack's moments of genius, out - Celine Dion Highway, a new film directed by the creator of Twin Peaks, David Lynch. To accompany his current soundtrack suc- weighing lhe twisted error that is Marilyn Manson. TUESDAY, MARCH 4,1997 • THE MlM Hi Illlll M • PAGE 7 J"f>cto/9

Thursday, June 15, 2001 I rode ihe Ferris wheel for the first time. mose by myself. Daddy was afraid of my riding the week alone, so he always had made one of his workers ride with me. I don't get it. Daddy rides with other kids on the Ferris wheel, why not me? None of those other kids are his kid, why does he ride with them? Why not me? A/ever\o_r& Ranch

By ZACHARY UNTERMAN scary too. All the pink elephants and tat­ Tuesday, July 18, 2001 Accent Editor tooed frogs, I mean. She didn't have to take Began tutoring today. Boring. I don't like those painkillers. Didn't she know I'd be to study. My teacher. Miss Louis, isn't a _n fa time was given, but MTV News messed up anyway? The Las Vegas odds­ very nice lady. I don't want to tell Daddy, f \i reported the time as being 1:07 makers predict 2000-to-one odds that I'll be because he might get mad again. Like when § W a.m. Pacific Standard Time from a heroin addict by age 16. At least I made it he got mad when I asked about Mommy. He a press release by '50s movie icon Elizabeth Ihrough the pregnancy. threw a paperweight clear across the room. Taylor, the boy's godmother. Everyone looks so big. Isn't there anyone Hit the maid, Consuela, on the head. She uch speculation has erupted from small, like me? doesn't work here anymore. Daddy said her the birth—one question has been It's crowded in the room now. Most of the mind will never be the same after the hit and brought to the forefront, is the Pop time it's empty, barring the constant visits he doesn't want an incompetent around his M from those ladies dressed in peach. I'm all Legend fit to raise a son? Michael Jackson is baby. I liked Consuela. She bathed me. It's seen as "bizarre" by the popular culture, no alone in here. It gets really quiet sometimes, Miss Louis I don't like. I wished he'd hit her doubt. There is just no escaping the fact that so I have to cry to get some sound in Ihe with the paperweight. the man is weird. room—to forget about the sterile green wall­ There have been rumors of his immaturity paper. I don't like the wallpaper at all. I want and lack of gender identity, his paranoia and to be moved out of hero. To another room, /•VeveriW Ranch compulsive behavior. Not to mention the another place, where there are other babies. reported bleaching of his skin, owning exot­ Babies like me. I think there are rooms like Wednesday, August 26,2005 that. Why am I not in one? So I cry. And ic pet chimpanzees and llamas and building Oxygen lent arrived today. At noon it was an amusement park on his Neverland Ranch they come running. I think there's some kind of device hooked into the wall, so they know supposed to come. Didn't get here until home outside Santa Barbara, some 100 maybe three. Dad was angry. Jorge, one of miles north of Los Angeles. when I'm crying. I can't stay awake for more than half an hour, I get really tired. our butlers, yelled at the delivery man. What about his sleeping in oxygen cham­ Dad fired Jorge later that day. Said he let The bubble they've stuck me in is boring. bers and allegedly molesting a 13-year-old the man off easy. Jorge cried, so did Dad. He Funny fumes come out from the bottom. I boy? And you wonder why people are con­ decided to just demote him to master gar­ don't like it, I start crying. cerned? dener. We all wonder, will the child tum to drugs Dad's being sued by Gerardo, our ex-mas­ or suicide, or maybe settle for good ol' ter gardener. He says Daddy took his son, depression? Only time will tell. //ever\o,r& Ranch Fernando, up to one of the guest bedrooms, This piece is a comical spoof on the Monday, April 7,1997 when Fernando was here, and burnt his but­ "Gloved One," as he is often called because tocks with candle wax. Jorge says this isn't of his trademark single glove, and is in no It's morning again. I don't like waking up the first time that has happened. He says way to be interpreted as a representation of anymore. The sun bothers my eyes. I still Daddy pays off his workers all the time. I the opinions of the entire Hurricane staff. live in the bubble. No more fumes though. suggest he be more careful with the place­ It is the creation of one Hurricane staff Thank God. Haven't seen Daddy in a long ment of candles. member. It is a diary of Michael Jackson, Jr. while. I heard something about Honolulu, But, I do like the oxygen chamber. It's Not a real diary. It's fake. Sorry, we're only Hawaii—and tour. Not sure where he goes. really cool. Almost as cool as Dad's. He The Miami Hurricane, not the New York He's just gone a lot. won't let me put my bed in it, yet. Said I Times. Mommy's gone too. Haven't seen much have to wait. Said we can go to F.A.O of her since the hospital. Don't matter. There Schwartz in the fall to shop for one. are a lot of nice people here. All very ner­ I have yet to leave the ranch. Cedars-Sinai /feliCo.1 vous though. I think Daddy told them not to his name to that he semi-supports. ly, truly wanted to commit suicide." She touch the baby. I see a lot of them peek into Liz is there. And so was her new husband points al her own wrist, "Across the vein— Center - IDS fajeles the room, like they're passing by, making //everlarA Ranch Tim. Tim is a 33-year-old attorney from that's just baloney, that's looking for atten­ sure everything's all right. I feel like an ani­ South Florida. tion." I was fed up—I made it through half Thursday, February 13,1997 mal, like one of the zoo animals in the books Wednesday, October 7, 2005 Dad sits the whole meal staring at his half the meal. Daddy's workers read to me. 1 don't like it empty glass of wine, giggling like a little The thoughts of suicide won't leave my At last I'm free It was really beginning to here either Tommy came to the ranch again today. smell in there. And it was getting pretty Tommy is nine. He would be in my grade. girl. Tim makes the stupid mistake of asking head. I blame Tim for that. Carlos snuck a I hung out with Bubbles while Tommy what had happened lo my wrist. What an .45 in lasl week, just in case. I admit, it's and dad played in one of the bedrooms. Dad idiot. tempting. //everlahk Ranch doesn't like me hanging around him while Doesn't he read the tabloids? JACKO'S I forget about it, my head plummeting into Sunday, March 1,1998 one of his friends is over. He calls me a SON ATTEMPTS SUICIDE A THIRD a mountain of cocaine. leech. Says he needs his space, especially TIME...never to succeed though. Maybe I'll The room smelled of candles. Too much when his friends are over. try a little harder. smoke. Can't believe the sprinklers haven't I'm not allowed to have any friends over. This conversation extends for the rest of gone off yet. You wouldn't believe the toys I had one. Billy Schwartz. He spent the the meal. Liz says: "You know, he cut down they've got in this place. And I don't mean whole time with my dad. On the rides, play­ the vein. Now, that's., that means he actual­ power trucks or action figures. ing with the llamas, with Bubbles. His par­ No wonder they call this place Neverland ents won't let him come anymore. They (they screened Peter Pan for me last say some bad things happened. I don't Sunday). Outside is one giant amusement want to know. park. Inside: a palace. Still, I don't love it 1 hope the llamas didn't get that much. vicious and bite him. Dad says the Dad disappeared again. I know he was in llamas never get vicious. Europe for a while. London, then Edinburgh, then Switzerland. I sort of lost touch. Carlos, one of our housekeepers, //ever\ar& Ranch mentioned "the banks of Loch Lomond." But 1 don't know where that is. Sunday, November 24, 2010 Liz has been stopping by a lot recently. She likes the new nose. Daddy bought it for Thanksgiving. Another stupid holiday. my birthday. Liz said Daddy's on the shores This is one of the first Thanksgivings Dad of Lake Geneva in Monlraux. 1 asked her has been here for. His attendance has put when I'm going to be able to leave the everyone in an uproar. There is complete ranch. She shrugged, "I don't know, cottage disorder in the kitchen. Dad refused to have cheese?" she offered, smiling her capped- any turkeys this year. Just yams, stuffing and tooth snulc. mashed potatoes. He just joined another Photo Courtesy ot History MAGAZINE organization: Save the Turkey, started by the PET MY MONKEY: Michael )ackson with same guy who founded Amnesty International. Finally, an organization he put BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE: Pop legend Michael his pet chimpanzee, Bubbles. A/ever\o,r& Ranch Jackson shines on the greatness of parenthood. Yeah.

Romantic Mayfair Grill ~ ±n[ ,pu ^ pi™ :p tup o Bivy SUZcii/vY BUCKLERiiritllVY ideal match for the crispy peas and saltyv plantainplantains V,A \\s V>1\«/l \«/ I VmUU Ll \\J \*/\\ V*/ V \J Restaurant Critic underneath. The course was healthy, yet filling, and TVicked away on the second floor of the mirrored beautifully presented. maze that is the Mayfair House (Coconut Grove's I tried to convince my guest to try the ostrich, a rare "other" movies-shopping-hoiel rnecca), the Mayfair find on a South Florida menu, but he insisted on Ihe Grill is one of a few remaining first-class restaurants in grilled swordfish, so I cold-sampled it. It turned out to a district where drink specials and chicken wings con­ be a masterpiece, so I couldn't complain. Speared with tinue io threaten (he existence of elegant dining. fried \ ticca, the fish was served atop avocado salsa antl My guesl and I marveled at the restaurant's elaborate ancho-chili pepper jam stained-glass ceiling. Chinese rugs and exquisitely dec- II was exciting to eat in a restaurant that actually felt Mated Tiffany-style bar as we enjoyed the music nl tta healthy! It's clear lhat the Mayfair's young Australian night's pianist Feeling relaxed and comfortable, we chef goes lo great lengths to keep the meals lean and the perused the detailed menu. vegetables fresh. Our waiter first wet our palates with baby potato The menu even offers a vegetarian entree, which sun- caviar, a tiny, cold hors d'oeuvre served wnh crams ply reads: "allow our chef to entice you with a unique fraiche. garlic chives and a red onion marmalade. Sweet, creation." Although that may sound scary al just any creamy and salty all al once, the buttery I" x I" delica­ leslaurant. remember that this is the Mayfair Grill— Just in Time for SG Elections cy left me craving more. you're in good hands. "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a Patrons have a plethora ol appetizers, ioepi and sal­ As an end to my delicious evening, I picked lhe tiny mother and child." - Dan Quayle ads from which lo choose belore ordering their m.un berry cake, a colorful, crumbly mullin decorated with entrees. My guesl was impressed with his smoked duck two sliced strawberries. Served with two generous bruschetta- lender, juicy and served wnh arugula, black scoops ol vanilla ice cream, (he tart and juicy torte was truffles, sun-dried cherries and a gorgonzota cream, I out of this world. I also tried my guest's lemon creme chose the jerked lobster and plantain sandwich, served brulee, an excellent sugary treat dolled with raspberries. with a papaya-coconut salsa Sophisticated and formal, yet romantic and comfort­ After much contemplation over the May lair's varied able. Coconut Grove's Mayfair Grill is a bastion of class selection of Pacific Kim •meets New Oilcans Creole amidsi Coconut Glove's tourist-pleasing mediocrity. entrees. I ordered fhe plantain- and nuaidamia-crusied Restaurants like the Mayfair serve as Miami's pleasant IORGE MIRANDA / Come to the Nigliboiliootl nl Make-Behove j_ salmon. Topped with a curi> vanilla rum butler, the del reminder lhal there is life outside the Marino's and icale salmon was light and flavorful; the sealotid was an Hooter's nl the world. THEltMIHIiRRHlE QTUESDAY , MARCH 4,1997

spotlight

RECKLESS AT THE RING Craig Lucas's dark comedy Reckless will close out the Universitv of Miami's Jerry Herman Ring Theater's Second Stage Series with performances starting March 4—8 p.m. and a matinee on March 8th at 2 p.m. Tickets are $6 with addi­ tional discounts for seniors and students. Call 305-284- 3355 for tickets on informa­ tion. The University of Miami Concert Jazz Band under the direction of Whit Sidener will feature jazz pianist, composer and arranger Jim McNeely in a concert of his own composi­ tions and arrangements. McNeely, a native of Chicago, has performed with Stan Getz, Phil Woods, Art Farmer, Joe Henderson and a number of other jazz greats. McNeely is a well-known composer on the international jazz faculty at Fir^e walwaiKk witfewicjfi* Daviuayida LL New York University. Thursday, March 6, 8 p.m. Maurice Gusman Concert Hall, 1314 Miller Drive, Coral Gables, University of Miami in Campus. Free Admission. For additional information call Lost Hignw 305-284-5813. BY ZACH RALSTON instinctual reactions. Lost Highway is an anti­ anarchist, treating sex and violence as sensu­ Lost Highway is if anything, an interesting Film Critic dote to rationality: things can go just as horri­ ous desires rather than moral problems. But film. It doesn'l aspire to be conventional, hui it At the Jackie Gleason bly wrong as they can go ecstatically enter­ when these psychological gimmicks surface as also doesn't aspire to be safely entertaining. Theater from March 4-9— taining. filler, the film grinds to a halt, as confusion Lynch admits that his dreams are often scar). Forever Tange, I dance recital, LOST HIGHWAY The story that pretends to be a plot, at least becomes a hindrance rather than an asset. It funny, twisted and terrible. And to sec inlo his 8 p.m., Jue, Wed & Thur, $25, for the first hour, revolves around Fred often feels as if Lynch is being sick for the mind, we have to endure some of the icrnHc $15; 8 p.m. Fri & Sa, $35, Madison (Bill Pullman, whose tousled locks sake of being sick, hoping that abstract glut­ to get to the hidden genius. $29, $19; 3 p.m., Sun, $35, and Nordic features make him look suspi­ tony masks his lack of substantial ideas. $29, $19 Contact: BAG (out of four stars) ciously like a watered-down Lynch), a sax Management (410)494-2700. player who is married to sexy Renee (under­ played seductively by Patricia Arquette). To sleep, perchance to dream. To dream, When mysterious videotapes of Fred and accent marks perchance to kill your wife, rob a pom star and Renee's private lives begin appearing on their blow out the brains of a gangster. Welcome to doorstep, the wealthy Los Angeles couple call Sound' Blast • K.ite Winslet is now filming Ihe world of David Lynch, a warped, unpre­ the cops, who offer no help. Unfortunately, the the new James Cameron dictable world thai has been responsible for as police arrest Fred a couple days later for slash­ Reznor hits the nails on the head for soundtrack, (Terminator 2: judgement Day) many good dreams (like the darkly comic ing Renee to death, a murder he can't remem­ which overcomes miserable Marilyn Manson project Titanic, with Leonardo romance Wild at Heart) as bad ones (such as ber committing (and we can't remember By ZACH RALSTON cess, beginning with Trainspotting, Lou DiCaprio (What's Eating Dune, and the crass, boorish Blue Velvet). watching). Music Critic Reed contributes the classic "This Magic Cillaert Crape?). Her character Lynch's latest psychic nightmare Lost On death row, Fred inexplicably changes We have entered an age where movie Moment," and Reznor finds a way to make a is named Rose Dewift Bukater, Highway, is possibly his most schizophrenic bodies—his soul is transferred lo the youthful soundtracks have become as important as the 1960 ballad into a Lost Highway centerpiece "a well-bred young woman and dissociative entry, running all over the car mechanic Pete (Balthazar Getty, unsuc­ movies themselves, and the musical albums However, these gems are offset by a nasi) who yearns to experience life place faster than rapid eye movement. The cessfully imitating James Dean), who must be often outperform their celluloid counterparts. and boring song from The Smashing beyond the confines of the opening credits are immediately grabbing. We subsequently released from jail, since he Recent examples of music selling film Pumpkins called "Eye." which is mixed with first-class cabin." are hurled down a dark highway, yellow lines couldn't possibly have murdered Fred's wife. include Coolio's coup with 1995's dance beats and electronics that are a far et) • If is rumored that Michael racing by with blurry intensity to the beat of a Pete returns to work for his boss (i°ryor, in a Dangerous Minds and from the natural Biehn will star as Mad Max in throbbing David Bowie dance song. The thankless and condescending role), and the rap-grunge sounds strength of Gisli or a fourth entry in the series, names of the cast shoot out at us, and we know resumes friendship with me evil Mr. Eddy of Judgment Night. Siamese Dream. Bill) ri'pl.u ing Mel Gibson. that there is something amiss, since these (Robert Loggia). Mr. Eddy's mistress is Alice, Add those best sellers Corgan has entered the • The English Patient received names include Henry Rollins, Gary Busey and a blonde bombshell, played by—yes, Patricia to this year's Romeo A Lost Highway world 13 British Academy (BATFTA) Richard Pryor. Lynch has staked his claim to Arquette. Is Alice the same person as Renee, Juliet and Gridlock'd. of drug-induced hallu­ nominations, including a nom­ this film and however bizarre and incompre­ or does she just look like her? Is Pete the same and you have a good cinations with his own ination tor Juliette Binoche as hensible it may be, we can't accuse of it of not person as Fred, even though the two look total­ list of popular sound­ unwelcome and sobci Best Supporting Actress. The being engrossing. ly different? tracks that stay on the attempt. Maybe the awards are on April 29th. But along with the enticing mood comes Then the story gets really crazy. Lynch feels charts long after the song would have been • Classic rock band Fleetwood inhereni. deliberate confusion. Describing the content to excuse his narrative unwinding with films leave the the­ better with Jimmy Mac are soon to be re-reunited plot would be futile, since no audience mem­ the fact that dreams are just as perplexing. It is aters. Chamberlain. on MTV, possibly on a new ber will be able to figure it out, and I suspect not Lynch's goal to communicate in terms we For Lost Highway, But the worst mis Unplugged show, before Lynch himself doesn't know what it's about. like to understand; he wants us to catch a director David Lynch take on the album, embarking on a summer tour. Lost Highway is an exercise in sensual film­ glimpse of his subconscious, a mind that does­ acquired the produc­ which also may be iti The gig would be the group's making, geared for shock and surprise, rather n't connect from A to B. ing skills of nine inch biggest selling point, first public appearance since than cerebral connections. Characters become Early in the film, Fred states that he hates nails' industro-ruler is Marilyn Manson. Clinton's inauguration in J993. other characters, and actors change faces like- video cameras because, "I want to remember Trent Reznor, who Manson is a mistake to chameleons change colors. What lingers is not things the way I remember them. I don't want first sharpened his the music industry a linear narrative, but singular images, with to reflect the way things really happened." knives producing and his dreadful cover emotions ranging from fear to sexual desire, This is the closest Lynch comes to telling us Oliver Stone's Natural of Screamin' Jay top ten songs and everything in between. straight-out his filmmaking motives. Realism Photo courtesy of NOTHING RECORDS has no part in his world; documentary is fic­ Born Killers (NBK) Hawkins' "I Put - As expected with an experiment like this, soundtrack. Lost NATURAL BORN MISANTHROPE: Spell On You" would not everything is. consistently good or bad. tion and fiction is fantasy. Trent Reznor produces the Lost Top ten albums from the Highway, the film, has be laughable if it was- Lynch is beyond good and evil, until his films For much of the movie, especially the first Billboard chart: visceral intensity simi­ Highway soundtrack. B't so embarrassing define a context of their own, and all we can do half, Lynch's images are brilliant. He shows a 1. Secret Samadhi lar lo NBK that f-H^^^^^^^^^ Manson grunts out his as viewers is respond with base impulses and rare talent for personifying the id, and denying vocals like he's choking on a chicken bone, - Live the superego. Filmically, Lynch is a Freudian with Reznor's subtlety-impaired brand of shock rock. and he has about as much humor as a film 2 Unchained Melody / The Reznor pulls no punches in the production about the Holocaust It's a wonder he and his Early Years of the soundtrack. Although much of the band have become so popular, as if the aural - LeAnn Rimes album consists of the musical score written equivalent of chewing tinfoil somehow was i. Badui/m by Lynch composer Angelo Badalamenti soothing to punk teenagers. - Erykah Badu (and what a score!), many of the cuts arc Manson gives atheists a bad name. Hi> laced with crunchy feedback and techno sophomoric, dense. anti-Christian messages 4. Tragic Kingdom drums that come standard on Reznor's are as poorly-conceived and dismally banal - No Doubt Nothing label, a subsidiary of Interscope. as the ideals he is condemning. Every song 5. Spice Nine inch nails' "Perfect Drug" has a slick he writes has the words "hate" oi "death" in - Spice Girls video and an upbeat pulse common lo the title, as if we, the audience, were sup Reznor's popular singles, and it will no doubt pond to commiseiate with the poor suffering f. Pieces Of You sell the soundtrack. Lyrics like "The more I of a thoughtless, bourgeois loser whose idea jewel give to you/the more I die" will not surprise of art is dressing like a skeleton and scream 7. Soundtrack from Lost nine inch nails fans expecting a song with the ing. Highway same angsl-heavy sentiments as NBK\ rela­ Amazingly enough, the Manson songs fit - Various Artists tive "Burn." well wilh the soundtrack, since the film is an 8. Tru 2 Da Game The best music on the soundtrack comes assembly of images and thoughts which arc -Tru by way of David Bowie, whose new "I'm incohesive and vary in quality. Just as /.<"' Deranged" piece, co-written by Brian Eno, Highwtty-iUe film has moments of genius 9. Secret* starts off the album and the movie with a outweighing its misled errors, David Bowie - Toni Braxton Photos courtesy of OCTOBER FILMS bang. It's a deliriously entertaining song, fast and Angelo Badal.imenli are Lost Highw,i\ 10. Falling Into You ON THE ROAD: Alice Wakefield, played by Patricia Arquette. stares intently in Lost and mean. the soundtrack's moments of genius, out­ - Celine Dion Highway, a new film directed by the creator of Twin Peaks, David Lynch. To accompany his current soundtrack sue weighing the twisted error lhat is Marilyn Manson. TUESDAY, MARCH 4,1997 • Till ill llli III Illlll 1,1 • PAGE 7 cKx-Sl J~0.0^011

Thursday, June 15,2001 I rode the Ferris wheel for the first time, HHose by myself. Daddy was afraid of my riding the week alone, so he always had made one of his workers ride with me. I don'l get it. Daddy rides with other kids on the Ferris wheel, The Klnj of pop, why not me? None of those olher kids are his kid. why does he ride with them? Why not me? Michael J^cKson, //e\ser\ar& Ranch heCame a father By ZACHARY UNTERMAN scary too. All the pink elephants and tat­ Tuesday, July 18,2001 Accent Edilor tooed frogs, 1 mean. She didn't have to take Began tutoring today. Boring. I don't like those painkillers. Didn't she know I'd be to study. My teacher. Miss Louis, isn't a o time was given, but MTV News messed up anyway? The Las Vegas odds­ very nice lady. I don't want to lell Daddy, Thu-r-^ay, Feb. L3fht reported the lime as being 1:07 makers predict 2000-to-one odds that I'll be because he might get mad again. Like when // a.m. Pacific Standard Time from a heroin addict by age 16. At least I made it he got mad when I asked about Mommy. He a press release by '50s movie icon Elizabeth ihrough the pregnancy. threw a paperweight clear across the room. when his wife Taylor, the boy's godmother. Everyone looks so big. Isn't there anyone Hit the maid. Consuela, on the head. She uch speculation has erupted from small, like me? doesn't work here anymore. Daddy said her the birth—one question has been lis crowded in the room now. Most of the mind will never be the same after the hit and Mbrought to the forefront, is the Pop time it's empty, barring the constant visits he doesn't want an incompetent around his Deborah Rowe, 37 Legend fit to raise a son? Michael Jackson is from those ladies dressed in peach. I'm all baby. I liked Consuela. She bathed me. It's seen as "bizarre" by the popular culture, no alone in here, lt gets really quiel sometimes, Miss Louis I don't like. I wished he'd hit her doubt. There is just no escaping the fact that so I have to cry to get some sound in the with the paperweight. room—lo forget aboul the sterile green wall­ %ve birth fo a the man is weird. There have been rumors of his immaturity paper. I don't like the wallpaper at all. I want and lack of gender identity, his paranoia and lo be moved out of here. To another room, //e\ser\anl. Ranch compulsive behavior. Not to mention the another place, where there are other babies. boy, reported bleaching of his skin, owning exot­ Babies like me. I think there are rooms like Wednesday, August 26,2005 ic pet chimpanzees and llamas and building that. Why am I not in one? So I cry. And 0, Oxygen tent arrived today. At noon it was an amusement park on his Neverland Ranch they come running. I think there's some kind supposed to come. Didn't get here until home outside Santa Barbara, some 100 of device hooked inlo the wall, so they know ••» -++'' maybe three. Dad was angry. Jorge, one of miles north of Los Angeles. when I'm crying. I can't stay awake for more lhan half an hour, I get really tired. our butlers, yelled at the delivery man. What alxiut his sleeping in oxygen cham­ Dad fired Jorge later that day. Said he let The bubble they've stuck me in is boring. bers and allegedly molesting a 13-year-old the man off easy. Jorge cried, so did Dad. He boy? And you wonder why people are con­ Funny fumes come out from the bottom. I Michael decided to just demote him to master gar­ don't like it, I start crying. cerned' dener. We all wonder, will the child turn to drugs Dad's being sued by Gerardo, our ex-mas­ or suicide, or maybe settle for good ol' ter gardener. He says Daddy took his son, TaC[\son depression? Only time will tell. //everlahk Ranch Fernando, up to one of the guest bedrooms, This piece is a comical spoof on the Monday, April 7,1997 when Fernando was here, and burnt his but­ "Gloved One," as he is often called because tocks with candle wax. Jorge says this isn't of his trademark single glove, and is in no It's morning again. I don't like waking up Tr, the first time that has happened. He says way to be interpreted as a representation of anymore. The sun bothers my eyes. I still Daddy pays off his workers all the time. I me opinions of Ihe entire Hurricane staff. live in the bubble. No more fumes though. suggest he be more careful with the place­ It is the creation of one Hurricane staff Thank God. Haven't seen Daddy in a long ment of candles. member. It is a diary of Michael Jackson, Jr. while. I heard something about Honolulu, Bul, I do like the oxygen chamber. It's Not a real diary. It's fake. Sorry, we're only Hawaii—and tour. Not sure where he goes. really cool. Almost as cool as Dad's. He 77ie Miami Hurricane, not Ihe New York He's just gone a lot. won't let me put my bed in it, yet. Said I Times. Mommy's gone too. Haven't seen much have to wait. Said we can go to F.A.O. of her since the hospital. Don't matter. There Schwartz in the fall to shop for one. are a lot of nice people here. All very ner­ I have yet to leave the ranch. Cebar-lSihai Me<\iCa\ vous though. I think Daddy (old them not to his name to that he semi-supports. ly, truly wanted to commit suicide." She touch Ihe baby. I see a lot of them peek into Liz is there. And so was her new husband points .ii her own wrist, "Across the vein— Center - IDS Anjeles the room, like they're passing by, making Ne\*r\anm\ Ranch Tim. Tim is a 33-year-old attorney from that's just baloney, that's looking for atten­ sure everything's all right. I feel like an ani­ Thursday, February 13,1997 South Florida. tion." I was fed up—I made it through half mal, like one of the zoo animals in the books Wednesday, October 7,2005 Dad sits the whole meal staring at his half lhe meal. Daddy's workers read lo me. I don'l like it At last I'm free It was really beginning to Tommy came to the ranch again today. empty glass of wine, giggling like a little The thoughts of suicide won't leave my here eilher. smell in there. And it was gelling pretty Tommy is nine. He would be in my grade. girl. Tim makes the stupid mistake of asking head. I blame Tim for thai. Carlos snuck a I hung out with Bubbles while Tommy what had happened to my wrist. What an .45 in last week, just in case. I admit, it's and dad played in one of the bedrooms. Dad idiot. templing. A/e\rer\ar)x\ Ranch doesn't like me hanging around him while Doesn'l he read the tabloids? JACKO'S I forget about il, my head plummeting into Sunday, March 1,1998 one of his friends is over. He calls me a SON ATTEMPTS SUICIDE A THIRD a mountain of cocaine. leech. Says he needs his space, especially TIME...never to succeed though. Maybe I'll The room smelled of candles. Too much when his friends are over. try a little harder. smoke. Can't believe Ihe sprinklers haven't I'm not allowed to have any friends over. This conversation extends for the rest of gone off yet. You wouldn't believe the toys I had one. Billy Schwartz. He spent the the meal. Liz says: "You know, he cut down they've got in this place. And I don't mean whole time with my dad. On the rides, play­ the vein. Now, that's...that means he actual­ power trucks or action figures ing with the llamas, wilh Bubbles. His par­ No wonder they call Ihis place Neverland ents won't let him come anymore. They (they screened Peler Pan for me last say some bad things happened. I don't Sunday). Outside is one giant amusement want to know. park. Inside: a palace. Still, I don't love it I hope the llamas didn't get that much. vicious and bite him. Dad says the Dad disappeared again. I know he was in llamas never get vicious. Europe for a while. London, Ihen Edinburgh, then Switzerland. I sort of losl touch. Carlos, one of our housekeepers, //everlank Ranch mentioned "the banks of Loch Lomond." But I don't know where thai is. Sunday, November 24, 2010 l.i/ has been slopping by a lot recently. She likes the new nose. Daddy bought it for Thanksgiving. Another stupid holiday. my birthday. Liz said Daddy's on the shores This is one of the first Thanksgivings Dad ol Lake Geneva in Monlraux. I asked her has been here for. His attendance has put when I'm going to be able to leave the everyone in an uproar. There is complete ranch. She shrugged, "I don't know, cottage disorder in the kitchen. Dad refused to have cheese?'' she offered, smiling her capped- any turkeys this year. Just yams, stuffing and l.inili smile. mashed potatoes. He just joined another Photo Courtesy ol History MAGAZINE organization: Save the Turkey, started by the PET MY MONKEY: Michael Jackson with same guy who founded Amnesty BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE: Pop legend Mie h.ii'l //e\fer\ahi\ Ranch International. Finally, an organization he put his pet chimpanzee, Bubbles. Jackson shines on the greatness of parenthood Yeah.

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BIyv SUZY BUCKLEY ideal match for the crispy peas and salty plantainplantains V.A \m\S Wl \J I >•/ I V-/lv>lW^/ Ll I \J \_S\ I \m/ V \J Restaurant Critic underneath. The course was healthy, yet filling, and Tucked away on the second floor of the mirrored beautifully presented. maze that is the Mayfair House (Coconul Grove's I tried to convince my guest to try the ostrich, a rare "other" movies-shopping-hotel meccal, the Mayfair find on a South Florida menu, bul he insisted on the Grill is one of a few remaining first-class restaurants in grilled swordfish, so 1 cold-sampled it. It turned out to a district where drink specials and chicken wings con­ be a masterpiece, so I couldn't complain. Speared wilh tinue to threaten Ihe existence of elegant dining. fried yucca. Ihe fish was served atop avocado salsa and My guesl and I marveled al lhe restaurant*! elaborate ancho-chili pepper jam. stained-glass ceiling. Chinese rugs and exquisitely dec­ II was exciting lo eal in a restaurant that actually felt orated Tiffany-style bar as we enjoyed the music ol the healthy! It's clear lhal Ihe Mayfair's young Australian night's pianist Feeling relaxed ami comfortable, we chef goes lo greal lengths lo keep Ihe meals lean and the perused the detailed menu vegetables fresh Our waiter first wet our palates with baby potato The menu e\en oilers a vegetarian entree, which sim­ caviar, a tiny, cold hors d'oeuvrv served with creme ply reads: "allow our chef lo entice you with a unique fraiche. garlic chives and a red onion marmalade. Sweel, creation." Although that may sound scary at just any creamy and sall> all al once. Ihe buttery 1" x I" delica- lesi.iuranl. remember thai this is the Mayfair Grill— Just in Time for SG Elections cy left me craving more. you're in good hands "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a Patrons have a plethora ol appetizer*, soups and sal­ As an end Io my delicious evening, I picked Ihe liny ads from which lo choose before ordering their mam berry cake. I colorful, crumbly muffin decorated with enirees. My guesl was impressed with his smoked duck (WO sliced strawberries Served with two generous bruscheiia -lender, juicy and served wnh arugula, Mack scoops of vanilla ice cream, ihe tart and juicy tone was truffles, sun-dried cherries and a gorgonzola cream. I out of this world. I also tried my guest's lemon creme chose the jerked lobster and plantain sandwich, served brulee. an excellent sugary Ireat dolled with raspberries with a papaya-coconut salsa Sophisticated and formal, yel romantic and comfort­ After much contemplation ovei the Mayfair's varied able. Coconut Grove's Mayfair Grill is a bastion of class selection of Pacific Kim-meels Sew Orleans Creole amidst Coconut Grove's tourist-pleasing mediocrity. enirees, I ordered the plantain- and nucadamia-crustcd Restaurants like the Mayfair serve as Miami's pleasant salmon. Topped with a curry-vanilla niro bultei. the del­ reminder lhal Ihere is life outside the Marino's and IORGE MIRANDA / Come to the Nighboihood of M.ike-Belie\ icate salmon was light and flavorful: the seafood was an Hooter's of the world. PAGE 8 • THE Ml Ml Hi RI.iTttt: • TUESDAY, MARCH 4,1997 Booty Call a Wrong Number

By SHANE WEAVER Un-RC. urban comedy takes a look at love and lust Copy Editor hospital pursuit scene with Bunz posing as a doc­ waiting all that time...can't she see that he loves her and she's seriously endangering their rela­ BOOTY CALL tor and delivering babies, you know you've got problems. It says a lot about the shallowness of tionship by not putting out? If Rushon truly loved the characters and the filmmakers' confidence in her, he'd wait a heck of a lot longer than seven them. weeks. (out of four stars) Because writers Takashi Bufford and Bootsie Though the prominent safe-sex message is >Jppfc have done such a poor job of creating three- nice, that too is pushed to the poinl of absurdity; v»* dimensional characters, it is almost impossible to Nikki is supposed lo be laughed at for sending • • ______1 poor Rushon out over and over for the proper pro­ It is a shame lhat the urban comedy genre has let the sex-crazed louts be alone on screen for too tection. Safe-sex preaching doesn't excuse the I yet to develop to the level its brethren, the urban long. So instead, they have the group go through pressuring that got them there in the first place. drama, has in recent years. Urban dramas such as a ridiculous comedy of errors to generate cheap In the wisecracking department, Booty Call % Jason's Lyric. Boy: in the 'Hood. Do The Right laughs. Director Jeff Pollack, whose only other * WHRt' passes with flying colors. Foxx and Davidson are Thing and this year's Rosewood have garnered big-screen credit was the so-so Above the Rim, two of the more gifted comedians working jt critical praise and a loyal following as they chron­ seems completely unable to reign in the idiocy of today—Foxx for his wit, Davidson for his physi­ icle the struggles of the African-American com­ the script, and fails to generate any emotions— -.W-^L -*•* I cal comedy. Unfortunately, for the most part, munity. other than sexual arousal—from his leading cast. (The clunky attempts at sympathy for Nikki and Davidson plays the straight man, getting off sur­ M L* Yet, most urban comedies propagate the stereo­ Rushon are so abrupt and out of place thai they're prisingly few good lines. Fox, who played the 1 types that have haunted the black community; nearly laughable.) stripper-with-the-heart-of-gold in Independence » they have yet to rise above the puerile level of Day, displays cool attitude as Lysterine. The misogyny, sex, drugs and profanity. Following Yet, what's remarkable about Booty Call is its complete lack of respect for everyone different exchanges between Lysterine and Bunz are hilar­ previous disasters like the tasteless and classless ious, as the sexual tension smolders. Newcomer Phat Beach and Friday. Booty Call (a term for from its main characters. The role-call of stereo­ types is astounding: evangelical Christians are Jones is a much weaker screen presence as good- arranging a one-night stand) devotes an hour and girl Nikki. a half to nothing more than "giving it up." portrayed as hypocritical blowhards; Chinese are i insulted numerous times; homosexuals are Yet, even the strength and independence of the Rushon (Tommy Davidson) desperately wants # :'• ridiculed in an embarrassingly long scene involv­ two women is destroyed: Lysterine ends up being to sleep with his girlfriend of seven weeks, Nikki ing an ultra-swishy Chinese waiter; ethnic cab little more than a well-endowed prop, complete (Tamala Jones). So in order to better his chances, dnvers are stereotyped (geez, there's a new one); with bizarre, kinky sexual fetishes. Nikki is he sets up a double-date for his best fnend, the ' doctors are shown as golf-loving dolts who could repeatedly shown in skimpy neglige with a come- quick-witted, womanizing Bunz (Jamie Foxx). care less about helping patients without insur­ hither look in her eyes. «-. Bunz may have finally mel his match in Nikki's ance: and to top it off, Booty Call even does its friend, Lysierine (Vivica A. Fox), who despises Of course, what do you expect from a movie own version of the English language-mangling the foul-mouthed "hood rat. Naturally, they soon that tries to generate humor from peer pressure? Indian convenience-store owner, one of the most lust for each other. The lesson of Booty Call is that if you love some­ worn-out gags in comedy. There are two clerks one, they should put out when you want them lo, After a night out on the town, the pairs are here, one of which is played by a white stand-up as long as you have a condom, of course. Nice, ready to have sex...but first Rushon and Bunz comedian. Hmmm...seems reminiscent of the huh? But then again, maybe that should have been must get condoms. days of blackface. expected from a film whose movie poster features Up until that point, the film is funny and a large picture of a woman's backside. upbeat, treading new ground in the "dating in the But besides all the stereotypes, the underlying -~-i__9 J______* Nj£ «* •HM We are still waiting for a smart, fresh urban '90s" theme. message of Booty Call is what's really disturbing. "^"^•fc^W P( j | Nikki is pressured relentlessly by Rushon and comedy thai can enlighten without offending. It's But al lhe 45-minute mark, the film dies a slow time for the genre to rise above the vulgar con­ ^_W '**% h' n tUt. iilJM but sure death. As Rushon and Bunz search for Bunz inlo finally giving in. Imagine the nerve of it Nikki for nol being ready to share the most inti­ ventions that it has relied on for so long. While ^^^PP> % the right condoms, the film degenerates into fc % mate of experiences with a new boyfnend only Booty Call at first tries to break boundaries, it . *» MM B~* ridiculous slapstick and childish chase scenes. ends up being a prisoner of them. Best let this call When a movie aboul a double-date ends up in a seven weeks after they met. That's almost two whole months! And poor Rushon, who's been go unanswered. HOLD THAT THOUGHT: Rushon holds the remains of his condom, which was destroyed by Killa the dog, in Columbia Pictures' provocative urban comedy floofy Call. Nyuk-Nyuk- Nyuketh William Shakespeare Meets the Three Stooges in South Florida

By (AMIE SEGAL Grammys. Glimpses of Tht Hurricane Staff Writer Godfather and The Price is Right Words cannot begin to describe are also recognizable. the hilarious antics of three men in To cover Ihe Bard's many sonnets. knickers and Converse sneakers Weinbeg condenses them into ont spouting all of Shakespeare's works poem, which he sends around on ai. in aboul an hour. However, a hearty index card. laugh might. Wisecracks are common, as The Florida Shakespeare Theatre Hamlet is referred to as Omelet the performs The Compleat Works of Danish, and as Benitez peeks out Wllm Shkspr (abridged) at the from under a sheet after his perfor­ Biltmore Hotel through Mar. IS. mance of Hamlet's deceased father The first laugh occurs before the to say, "Thank you. Thank you very show even begins. The program dis­ much." M Photos courtesy of COLUMBIA PICTURES plays a blender with three speeds: Audience participation is another mock, jest and shred. Set on shred, of the show's tactics to illicit laugh­ ter. The three men make a mess out ME SO CORNY: Tommy Davidson (left) as Rushon and Jamie Foxx as Bunz create makeshift protection out of cellophane wrap. the blender garbles Shakespeare's words. of Hamlet as they choose an audi­ The scene is set up somewhat like ence member to portray Ophelia. an attic, with candelahras galore, Using Freudian psychology, each of mannequins showing off the latest the three sections ofthe audience act fashion trends of 16th century and as Ophelia's id, ego and superego. trunks filled with costumes. Benitez displaces a man sitting in The three actors, Mike Benitez, the front row as the evil Laertes. Peter Paul DeLeo and Ale Weinbeg, The production gets sillier and sil­ portray every one of Shakespeare's lier as time progresses. Hamlet is characters. Playing all of the female performed faster and faster and at Jackie Gleason finally, it is performed backward. roles, Benitez makes sure Juliet and Ophelia never end a performance In order not to give the entire without throwing up and dying over- show away. I conclude with a strong Star of The Karate Kid appears on stage dramatical ly. recommendation to see the show In the first act, DeLeo seems to be yourself and I am sure you will By (AMIE SEGAL man, such as Ralph Macchio. designed by Batwin and Robin, that changed the most sane of the three, as he sits laugh as much as I did. As the actors The Karate Kid is grown up and tap dancing his from a fountain to the Empire State Building lo a Hurru Staff Writer on a huge chair, straight from of The Coinpleal Works of Wllm way to the top of the corporate ladder in a revival home in the suburbs, was almost like watching a "What's the opposite of a sex maniac?" the cast Masterpiece Theatre, with his feel Shktp (nbridged) say, "May the of the Pulitzer Prize-winning 1%1 musical How virtual-reality screen. of How lo Succeed in Business Without Really hanging and swinging like a child, Bard be with you." to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, at All doubts of Macchio'*, performance on stage, Trying asks. The answer, of course, is a business although this myth is dispelled later. the Jackie Gleason Theater in Miami Beach. rather lhan on the big screen, vanished the second The trio decides they cannot do Ralph Macchio, 35, takes on the role of J. he was lowered onto the stage. He commands a justice to the tragedy Othello Pierrcponi Finch, a window washer who reads a great presence and his dancing ability really because, "We're honkies!" guide on how to succeed in business. From lhe brings a lot to his portrayal of Finch. Shauna Therefore, they don sunglasses and mailroom to junior executive to chairman of the Hicks, as Rosemary, is the epitome of what a rap their own version of the Moor's board, Finch manipulates his way through the woman was supposed lo be in the '60s. Her tale. They turn one of Shakespeare's World Wide Wickel Company. He goes against nic-locjic voice complemented that of Macchio's. earlier, not so popular plays, Titus the advice of the book, narrated by Walter Rosemary's boisterous, matchmaking friend Andmnicus into Titus Androgynous' Cronkite, and falls in love with Rosemary Smitty, Susann Fletcher, proves to be a unique Cooking Show, and the great King (Shanna Hicks), a secretary. character in "Coffee Break" and, then in "Been a Lear becomes a football game. Many argue that How lo Succeed is quite dated Long Day." Todd Weeks is wonderful as the con- In Romeo and Juliet, Benitez" and, by no means, politically correct. No liberat­ niving, imbecile Bud Frump and Richard Juliet interrupts the play when he ed woman of the '90s would sing "I'd be happy Thomsen's representation of J.B. Biggley, presi­ tells Weinberg's Romeo. "I don't to keep his dinner warm." However, even with its dent of the World Wide Wickel Company is out­ want lo kiss you man!" The audi­ old fashioned character, the show touches the standing. Pamela Blair's sexy Hede l.aRue ence senses an ounce of seriousness modern day public by mirroring the timeless enhances the show immensely. at the end of Romeo and Juliet as the character of Ihe corporate businessman. Director Des McAnuff really keeps the show characters croon softly to the nine of "Finch just represents that side of us thai on its toes as a '60s spoof and a reflection of mod­ Greenslteves. To Iheir surprise antl would love to get away with murder," Macchio em hard core business. As choreographer, Wayne amusement, the trio sings, "And says. Cilcnto creates steps that bind the two eras 1 Romeo and Juliet are dead " How lo Succeed is filled with songs we can all together, by combining modem dance with older Extremely modern. The Compliai relate to such as "Coffee Break" and "A dances, such as the Monkey. Works of Wllm Shk\pr tabridged) Secretary is Not a Toy," although ihe big vocal Macchio chose to take How to Succeed on the oflers a cameo of a Power Ranger ^^^^^^^^^^ Photo courtesy of moment in the show was "Brotherhood of Man." road, rather than replace Matthew Broderick on action figure fighting Gntl/illa FLORIDA SHAKESPEARE THEATRE As Miss Jones, Tina Fabrique's powerful voice Broadway His wife and two children join him on When DeLeo succumbs to the pres­ HAMlet: Actors (top to bottom) earned the sequence. The company was strong in the tour. • Photo by JOAN MARCUS sure of Hamlet's famous mono­ Peter DeLeo, Ale Weinberg and all of the musical numbers. "I'm not on any A-ltst now and maybe not on TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS: Ralph logue, 'To be or not lo be..," the Mike Benitez in The Comple.u The* big business scenery and colorful costumes (he B list in Hollywood," lie says. "Thai's jusi lhe audience is told he is upset because Works of William Shakespeare Macchio as |. Pierreponl Finch in the nation­ were typical of a Broadway Senes production. way it works Ii ebbs and it flows, and I just love Madonna was snubbed at the labridged) at the Florida al touring company of How to Sui and •" but the large video screen in the background, what I'm doin' right BOW." Business in Business Without Really Trying. Sh,lkt*s|M',ni' lhe.lire TUESDAY, MARCH 4,1997 • THE Hi IHI Hi Mill IM • PAGE 9

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student speak up j How do you feel about Genetic cloning counterproductive How 11 wearing large logos and weai the Holocaust Simple. Science is controlled by a " I brand names on your cloth small number of people. The deci­ bran As a result, this type ot experi­ 0 mentation should be stopped, since sions of those few people should not ing? history is devastating proof of the dictate to the rest of society what is acceptable in terms of beauty or Speak Up answers are edit consequences of such a desire. Scientists counter such arguments anything else. ed for clarity, brevity and with their assertion that cloning will In a time when democracy and txcurocy. only be used on animals, not on freedom are the objective, decisions human beings. made by a few that will affect the • lives of many, such as genetic DAMIAN GREGORY The other primary objection to cloning is a religious one. Those cloning, seems counterproductive. ast week reality caught up who object to cloning on religious Wait, you're thinking, but scien­ with science fiction, when grounds maintain science is now tists make those kinds of decisions LScottish scientists revealed seeking to create, rattier than main­ everyday. Why is this any different? they were able to reproduce an exact tain, life. Previous efforts of science have duplicate of an adult sheep, and that They further hold this is an been for the betterment of mankind, the exact DNA clone is an apparent­ attempt by science to infringe on the regulated by the government, to ly thriving seven-month-old sheep. Creator's territory. To many reli­ guard against abuse and misuse. This new achievement reactivated gious skeptics, particularly in 1997 History has shown that such pow­ a controversy which has been raging at the University of Miami, this erful science does not belong in the AARON FRANZ • JNR. for decades. First, should scientists argument is narrow and unsophisti­ hands of any one government. be studying and attempting to repro­ cated since scientists maintain that Instead of science expending duce animals genetically? And what duplication of human DNA will time, money and effort to clone possible problems could such scien­ enable science to find the answers to commonplace. You're probably thinking that sheep, and eventually possibly tific exploits create? the puzzles they currently have Since the majority of scientists wouldn't be so bad. After all, sever­ human beings, scientists should The main objections raised about about human diseases. doing DNA duplication experiments al studies have proven that those expend their efforts on finding cures "I would buy such science is that it will ultimately It can be argued that this type of are white males, the clones would who are traditionally more for diseases such as cancer and a brand- result in science reproducing geneti­ knowledge in the long mn will help undoubtedly conform to their ideas Eurocentrically beautiful are more AIDS that have claimed hundreds of name outfit if cally desirable creatures, eliminat­ human kind to enjoy a belter quality of beautv. successful tan those who are not. millions of lives. I liked it. My ing undesirable ones. of life. Undoubtedly this would mean Let's face it, whether you are will­ These are real problems experi­ first priority Some fear the cloning of animals Both of these concerns are legiti­ more people who look like ing to admit it to yourself or not, enced by real people. would not be is the first step toward science creat­ mate ones. Lei us imagine the possi­ Baywatch stars and Calvin Klein these studies are for the most part looking at ing the pure race long dreamed of by bilities of a world in which cloning models, and less people who look accurate, so science would just be Damian Gregory is a senior the brand." Adolph Hitler. Hitler's dream of a of human beings rather than sheep is like Ester Rolle and Paul (Pee Wee helping society. What is so wrong majoring in broadcast journalism pure race was the rationale behind Herman) Reuben. with that? and political science. KEILA VALENTIN • SOPH. Shopper's guide to material LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Black Awareness Month events "lust to keep world: What's in a name? up to date not subject of poor planning with the The only thing is that I didn't buy crispy-new and appear not quite fashion this is it at a department store. I got it at freshly dyed, we usually get tired of To the Editor: International Week: have you ever the "in" thing one of those popular dress-for-less old styles anyway, so we just threw In this past Tuesday's edition of had problems with planning your now—fo clothing stores with left-over or away less money, leaving more to 77ie Hurricane, there was an In Our events or did something at the last wear certain excess brand name clothing lhat us buy new clothes! Opinion article that discussed Black minute ever go wrong? If not, you brand smart shoppers frequent I like this ideology...anything to Awareness Month (BAM) events are very fortunate, and if so, maybe names." At one point, two years ago, when have more clothes. not occurring, starting on time and you, unlike the rest of the school, Calvin Klein T-shirts were in their The rate of style turnover is some­ not being in the correct location. can understand how things can sometimes go unlike how you LEE NESSEL prime, I remember going to one of what rapid, and that's successful Since no one felt the need to find THERESA R. THOMPSON • LAW. these stores and coming across one. business for the fashion industry. or call a member of the United planned them. was a typical girl and have It was selling for a lot less than I The big name designers and compa­ Black Students (UBS) Executive To my committee, I truly thank grown into a typical woman. I heard they went for so I tried it on nies have somehow grasped the Board or the chairs of BAM to find you for your hard work and devotion love to shop. and liked it. fashion world by the sensitive parts out why this really happened, I will to this month, to the rest of UM with I tight enough to dictate every succes­ be brief and say that it was not bad But, not only did-t inherit the Then I woke up and said, "What complaints about things not being Ihe heck am I thinking?" Why sive trend. planning on behalf of the commit­ right, why don't you come to a "I don'f shop-till-you drop gene from my mother, but also the bargain gene. would I want to look like every I find it hard to believe that stores tee, but people being unprofessional meeting or get involved, but if that's really mind, other girl on campus, and lose my are currently selling clothes identi­ both on- and off-campus. not your cup of tea why don't you everyone has Most people are quite proud when they find a bargain. Few things beat identity? Why did I need to have CK cal to things currently hanging in Since my freshman year of being sit back and keep doing what you their own the satisfaction of seeing the same branded across my chest to make me our cedar basement closet from my involved with UBS, I have wit­ are doing now: NOTHING. preference. pair of sneakers or pants with a cool or make it seem like I could parents' wardrobe in the '70s. nessed things that have done noth­ The only heftier price tag somewhere else, or afford to buy these letters? I forbid myself from putting any­ ing but infuriate me because I really NICOLE L. GORDON logo I have the astonishment on people's faces I have grown out of the brand- thing on my body in the form of doubt if other organizations have President, UBS on is the when they ask where you got a cer­ name fashion show mentality that checkered polyester. had to deal with it. NFL, where I tain item, and then you tell them the many youths and social-conscious I also won't buy any articles of For instance, in the case of the lb the Editor: want to go." nice price. people fall victim to. material with excessively large Black Comedy Jam, I had a con­ As Chairperson for Black TWAN RUSSELL • POSTIAC Of course, the opposite can occur Many people offer the argument names just for the sake of showing firmed reservation for the Rat the Awareness Month it is not only as well—buying something because that if you spend more money on off some trendy or expensive letters. end of last year and it disappeared imperative, but my responsibility to you cannot wait, just to see it go on clothes, it is usually for better quali­ I could marry a millionaire or win by the end of January. respond to certain "opinions" of sale the next week. ty that will last longer. the lottery, and I would still shop the It was told to me that in the end Black Awareness Month that are Well, I do succumb to temptation Perhaps, but a friend of mine bargain way. "A Week for Life" had our applica­ inaccurately and unfavorably offered a logical and reasonable tion beat by one day. If that is so, depicted. "It doesn't and "gotta have it" syndrome from time to time, but have learned how rebuttal: if indeed those less expen­ Lee Nessel is a senior majoring then why was I suppose to come to Although, I find The Hurricane to matter, brand sive clothes start to become less than a RAB meeting with a videotape of be a somewhat well-rounded, name or to come out on top in the material in journalism and religion. world. who I was bringing to the Black insightful newspaper, I, too, must what,as long Comedy Jam so they could see the note the lack of accuracy in the arti­ as it makes I received a J. Crew catalogue in 1 material? If I don't have the Rat, cle "In Our Opinion." I believe your you feel good the mail last week. Nice clothes, nice colors, nice styles. Not nice you don't need to see the tape. "congratulations" served as hypo­ and look critical. good for prices. It really agitates me that after get­ yourself." The only J. Crew clothing I own ting the calendar out to press in late Primarily the statement, "many came from the outlet store, where November early December that BAM functions" needs to be clari­ the prices are not nearly as exorbi­ someone still took the time to find fied. As the American Heritage SARAH YOHO • FRSH. tant as in the catalogues. some fault in what we were trying to Dictionary states, the word "many" I look forward to the almost daily accomplish. Last year, I had to go to denotes, "being one of a large, arrival of the Victoria's Secret cata­ a meeting with some of the top peo­ indefinite number; numerous." This logue (as do my male friends, hut ple on this campus, who in some is an unacceptable and inaccurate for different reasons). Occasionally, cases have never been to any UBS description of BAM. In addition, '"/ personally I will splurge and treat myself to a or BAM event, and explain to them none of the BAM events were do wear new piece of clothing from there why things did not occur or why moved to a different location, but logos on because it is nice. attendance was poor at events for rather there was a misprint on the clothes. I do There are no large names or logos last year. BAM calendar regarding the loca­ think people tion of Gospel Explosion in which buy clothes branded across the chest of the shirts The biggest complaint during this I choose to buy. meeting was that the calendar did additional flyers, posters and ban­ specifically ners reflected such a change. for the logo. * I remember buying an Esprit shirt not get out in time. So to correct that early in high school because that situation we got the calendar out in As far as the comment concerning name carried with it the following time and what happened. The the expected length of certain connotations: I was cool and I must Hurricane decided to write an arti­ events, I assume you are referring to CHRISTOPHER WARNER • FRSH. have money. The department stores cle discussing that items on the cal­ Gospel Explosion. The course of sell Esprit clothing for more than the endar were not correct. events surrounding Gospel average T-shirt and jeans, but I To the people that have worked on compiled by |.|. GAMA-LOBO "bought into" the charade. the Homecoming Committee and See LETTERS • Page 11

Editor in Chief Armando P. Boniche Business Manager Gregory S. Kantor Advertising Policy THE MIAMI III III; iim: Senior Adviser Sigman Splichal Financial Adviser Raymonde Bilger The Miami Hurricane's business 1 min­ Founded 1927 is located at 1 l()h Slanford Dr., Norman A Whitlen Universily (enler, Koom 221, An Associated Collegiate Press Hall of Fame Newspaper News Editor Photo Editor Sales Representatives (oral CaU**, Fla H124-her year 1 mi, ni ol The Hurruane. The paper reserves Ihe right to edit letters for clarity Emily Reid Ke-^e Staff Associate brevity and accuracy. Ad Designer For advertising rates, Jorge Miranda Connie V. Lackey call 284-4401 or fax us Newsroom: 284-201 h Business Office: 284-4401 Fax: 284 4404 Jason A. Buehler at 284-4404. ©1917 Universily ot Miami Brian Kirmse TUESDAY, MARCH 4, 1997 .Till! Mmil III Illlll IH; • PAGEII stop being victims and start being individu­ From LETTERS • Page 10 SWIMSUIT ISSUE NOT OFFENSIVE stantly changing. For those who don't like Those that are left are split between the TO WOMEN als. what they see in the mirror, stick around: in two Student Organization at Large represen­ J Explosion were unforeseen and unavoidable To the Editor: another thirty years or so they might epito­ tatives, the Student Government treasurer DOUGLAS K. MACNEAL mize our nest definition of a supermodel. and the business manager of The Miami I and would have been explained ir someone I have often read your paper and not You state that, "tlie moral of 5fs swimsuit Hurricane. SAFAC can elect to add two I from The Hurricane would have taken the agreed with the opinions expressed in it. Junior engineering student issue: no matter what greatness women may more members if not all groups are receiv­ I time to ask. Before yrx voice your opinion, That's life, but when I read the "Loser of the To the Editor: accomplish in their lives, their paramount ing representation, but that option was not [make sure you have the facts. As BAM Week" article this past Tuesday (Feb. 25), I After reading Mr. Unterman's column duty is to live solely as sexual entertainment deemed necessary this year. [ chairperson, I have no faults with criticism was compelled to say something. At first, I about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue for men." I as long as it is constructive and accurate. found nothing wrong with it. It offered the The reason umbrella organizations have a as "Loser of the Week," I thought I might try In summation, there were no "scheduling standard arguments. It just so happens the senior editor of the representative is because a student from this to broaden your puritanical point of view. I conflicts" and therefore the attendance issue is a woman. I'd be interested to hear organization will best understand the needs Sports lllustrated's swimsuit edition is First, let me be clear: Do we live in a society reflected an unfortunate lack of support for her response to such a ridiculous statement. of the type of group. Someone who is in a bad for society. It exploits and objectifies that largely values physical appearances? Of BAM. UM students attend and participate in Perhaps your moral decoding reveals a dark sports club can relate to the needs of athlet­ women, destroys the female self-image, course. comer of your own mind rather than it does ic groups on campus because of their expe­ events they want to attend and participate in. gives men a false image for women, etc. Nevertheless, BAM apologizes for any Do tfiese images set the bar too high for an icon of American pop-culture. rience. This is necessary because not every These were all allegations I had heard the rest of us? Probably. Mr. Unterman says student can be completely educated about all inconveniences, bui we also strongly urge and, with some displeasure, had accepted. Your column smacks of politically-correct I more involvement in planning the month. it "not only distorts the minds of men...but rhetoric. God forbid we should acknowledge campus groups. However, as I began to think about it, the degrades and hurts women." As a male I In closing, on behalf of BAM, I would like more I began to disagree with some of the one of our most basic human instincts. Mr. Buckley also writes, "the duties of the enjoy looking at beautiful women. Does this "Let's get some clothes on these students in SAFAC will he almost the same I to acknowledge the advertising coverage points Mr. Unterman made. mean I view all women as sex objects for j that The Hurricane provided. Although, The women...provocative thought is not allowed as they are now. The difference is that all He was righl in his basic premise that we, men? Am I somehow a master manipulator here!" You may embrace society's superfi­ fee-paying students will have a direct say as Hurricane needs to sustain their opinions as a society, are a little too easily controlled of all the mindless, helpless, hard bodies? with true facts and accuracy, instead of por­ cial values or you may not, either way we're to who sits on SAFAC." by the media. This is a pretty severe prob­ Hardly. If anything, these images celebrate stuck with them for now, so deal with it, traying an issue as being much larger than it lem, but I believe that it is views like Mr. Wrong. Students have a direct say now. the mystical power a woman's body can DAN HINDES The only thing they need to do is to be I actually is. Unterman's that have kept our society like hold (usually over men). this and have prevented us from moving Graduate Student involved with their campus groups. Each Unterman worries that this magazine puts beyond the petty opinions of a few "popu­ organization gets two votes for the LISA L. LEE unrealistic expectations in the minds of men lar" icons. SAFAC IS REPRESENTATIVE Organization at Large Representative. If you Chairperson, BAM for women to live up to. The inherent flaw in have a voice, you need to use it within your His view is that we have no power to that line of thinking is that we place any OF STUDENT NEEDS organization. BUTLER DESERVES ACCOLADES reject these views. We have no mind of our kind of expectations on women in general. To the Editor: own. In fact I think it is Zachary Unterman In regards to the editorial by Chris To the Editor: Women weren't put here to live up to the JENNIFER ROUN I have seen 77IJ? Hurricane article of Jan. who is objectifying women when his article expectations of men, superficial or other- Buckley, "SAFAC needs involvement from makes them out to be some mindless beings all students," SAFAC is representative of the Student Organizations at Large 17, 1997, concerning Dr. Bill Butler's wise.lf you're the kind of man that is con­ Representative Selection as the winner of the Scott who have no authority over their own opin­ stantly comparing your partner models, you student body . ions. I do not know what "poor helpless He says, "Undergrads must pay the activ­ Goodnight Award from the National have two options: (I) Dump your girlfriend, THEATRE REVIEW INACCURATE Association of Student Personnel females" he has been hanging out with, but go find and court Tyra or Vendela (in which ity fee..., yet they have no direct say in how Administrators (NASPA). all the women I know have never looked at a it is allocated." Wrong. The committee is To the Editor: case, good luck Walter Mitty) (2) Quit mak­ The issue of Tuesday, Feb. 18, The Miami In receiving the Scott Goodnight Award, swimsuit edition and purchased a meal thai made up of students. We, your representa­ ing unrealistic superficial comparisons and Hurricane had a critique of the Ring Dr. Butler is recognized as the outstanding was lower in fat content. tives, make the decision. figure out why you're with that person in the Theater's performance of Moliere's Le student affairs administrator in the nation for No, the women I know have much Mr. Buckley says "the process by which first place. Tartuffe by Jamie Segal. The critique began 1996-1997. One does not get the award from stronger wills than that. And while we are on they make decisions is not disclosed." I'll So if there is fault to be found, it's not in with the sentence: "Deceit, seduction, natioral visibility, or articles and books the issue of objectifying people. I would like tell you right now how it happens. We have r the public display of these magazines, but betrayal—all the acts of a priest." written, but rathe for substantial and sus­ to know what man that he knows has ever the individual's intrinsic values as well as published guidelines that let student organi­ tained excellence on an individual campus. compared his girlfriend to one of those mod­ zations know what will and what will not be Of a priest? Of what priest? Can Jamie their distinction between fantasy and reality. Segal explain what priest she had in mind? It is very clear to student affairs officers els and had that woman not leave him in a funded. Now that we've enlightened all these dis­ Le Tartuffe has never been and can never across the nation as to why Dr. Butler would matter of minutes. When we receive a request, we follow torted men, onto tlie victimized women. be construed as "a pnest." He is described be selected. Yes, he has been president of a My mind, sir, is nol so easily "warped" by these guidelines. Each group is treated fair­ Who is degraded here? The models certain­ by Moliere in the Personnages as a faux national professional organization, and has looking at a magazine. I will admit, I like ly. We deliberate on the request, then a ly aren't. After all they're the ones we're all devot. He is to marry Marianne, Orgon's written articles, but most of all he has given looking at the women in that magazine, but morion is made. We vote. If the motion pass­ idolizing on their pedestals—handsomely- daughter. absolutely dedicated service to the I have the presence of mind to realize that es, we send the recommendation to Dr. paid pedestals at that. So what about all the Anybody with a little education knows University of Miami. It is wonderful to see a these women are not what all women should other women that can't measure up? Tlie Butler, who accepts the recommendation, or good colleague honored in this way. look like. I know enough that all people are returns it to be reconsidered. If the motion that Catholic priests could not marry: and fact is that if their self-worth is dependent that France in Moliere's time was Catholic. Through this letter I want to say directly not created completely equally in all areas. fails, we discuss why and make any neces­ upon what a magazine prints, maybe they The Miami Hurricane is a publication that to Dr. Butler, well done, well done. You And just as I would not expect every male sary changes. need a little introspection to realize their addresses college students. It is inadmissible encourage the best in all of us and we are to be a star quarterback, I would not expect As far as who gets appointed to SAFAC, strengths rather than comparative shortcom­ that it should spread distortions and misin­ grateful to you. every woman to be a supermodel. I do not ings. Mr. Buckley is right. Umbrella organiza­ know what Mr. Unterman was taught when formation. These models represent an ideal of physi­ tions such as COISO, UBS, Service he grew up, but I was taught that each per­ Please explain to me and to all your read­ JAMES J. RHATIGAN cal beauty, not a reflection of our everyday Roundtable of the Volunteer Services Center son has a mind of his or her own. If they ers what priest Jamie Segal is talking about Vice President for Student Affairs and reality. The comparison to oneself or others and AGLO all elect someone from within to would just use it, the media would Find that in her reviewo f Le Tartuffe. Dean of Students, Wichita State University is up to the individual. We embrace beauty represent them. The majority of all student we are not a flock of sheep going blindly just as much as we might shrink from ugli­ organizations fall under one of these where they send us. I say that we should all umbrella organizations. VALENTIN STANTON ness. How we define these terms is con­ Academic Services

DEADLINE EXTENDED»DEADLINE EXTENDED-DEADLINE EXTENDED WL\Z ]$tfa ^tark tEtmss Nominations for the READ WHAT YOU LIKE? Award for Excellence in Student Involvement Campus subscriptions are available this summer at a are due Friday. March 7th by 5:00 p.m. special low rate of .40c per day, The Award for Excellence in Student Involvement is an annual award which recognizes one outstanding senior who has best demonstrated Monday through Friday. exemplary involvement and achievement in her or his college experience. Nominee Criteria Graduation in May, Summer or December of 1997. 3.0 cumulative grade point average. For more information contact Extensive involvement and achievements in University and community programs and activities. Personal integrity and exemplary character. Commitment to helping other students by encouraging, supporting and nurturing their involvement. ffllfg ffigfo fork gitmgg Future leadership potential. Letters of nomination may be submitted to Renee Dickens Callan or Mark Trowbridge, Department of Student Activities, Whitten University Center, Room 236. at Contact Renee Dickens Callan or Mark Trowbridge at 284-5646 for additional information.

1-800-535-5031 STUDINT 11r I international OP omen's ^ay

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