July 2017 Vol 1 Issue 1

Alankrita Shrivastava The director of the controversial film Lipstick Under My Burkha ignites the discussion around female sexuality

Lifeboat please! TECHNOLOGY SARI RENAISSANCE Kay Newton on what The best apps that make Fashion designer Anavila a storm in the ocean life easier (and services Misra’s romance with taught her about stress cheaper) for busy women linen and India

For private circulation only contents

Wondering Woman 08 Indian goddesses versus Wonder Woman

“I Went Paragliding at 61!” 10 Archana Raj Singh shares her adventure

Let’s Talk About Sex 22 Alankrita Shrivastava on films and feminism

Politics of Talaq 30 Muslim women share opinions on triple talaq

From Loss to Love 34 Swapna Mitter’s brave decision after loss

Jewellery Across Borders 43 Puja Bhargava Kamath on US versus India

Summer Beauty Essentials 58 These are the ONLY 5 things you need

Apps For Busy Women 60 These will save you time and money!

The Sari Renaissance 50 Anavila Misra takes forward her Summer Coolers romance with linen and India 66 Delicious cold beverages by Shaheen Ali

July 2017 contributors

Anita Panda Mishra is a freelance writer based in Mumbai. She’s an incorrigible dreamer, aspiring poet, and a dedicated mother, wife and daughter. 14

Kay Newton is a personal development coach of UK origin now based in Zanzibar. She’s a motivational author, speaker, confidante andT ai Chi instructor. 18

Pallavi Shankar is part of the autistic community as a mother of a boy with ASD. She is a journalist with a leading national daily, and blogs about mom life. 37

Annemarie Shrouder is a diversity proponent, consultant and speaker based in Toronto. She is passionate about inspiring connections and building community. 40

Editor: Aekta Kapoor All rights reserved throughout the world. To buy a copy, WhatsApp ‘eShe’ to Design: Arushi Vohra Reproduction in any manner is prohibited. 9818166621 or log on to eShe.in or email Sales: Saurabh Manchanda Editor: Aekta Kapoor. Printed and [email protected]. To advertise in published by Aekta Kapoor on behalf of the print edition, call Saurabh Manchanda Contributors: Hansa Makhijani the owner Coral Content. Published at at 9810024424. Jain, Anupam Dabral, Zain C3/1 GF, Vasant Vihar, New Delhi 110057. Anwar, Juhi Baveja Phone: +91 9818166621. Visit eShe.in for more.

July 2017 EDITOR’S NOTE | 5

Welcome to your inner world

here’s a real-life story in our book of the month (p.72) about a woman called Lesley Pyne. At 47, she’d had enough of jobs that compromised her values. At the same time, sheT had to face the crushing truth that she could never have children. She wanted to become a life coach to help others, but that would mean sharing her own story, and it frightened her. Then she heard American scholar and author Brené Brown talk about “owning your story and writing a brave new ending for it”. It jolted her. She realised that being childless did not define her, but not being able to have children did give her the experience required to help someone else cope with it. That was her purpose in life. So, while the fear of sharing her story was so immense that she wanted to back out, she couldn’t. Aekta Kapoor Because it was her purpose. Founder Editor, eShe For years, I’ve wanted to start a magazine that inspires women, ignites hope and celebrates our common humanity. Fear always held me back – where would I get the resources for it? – but I also realise my life’s experiences have put me in exactly this place at this time for a reason. I can’t not do it. Because it is my purpose. I hope eShe will inspire you to see the extraordinary in the ordinary. Thank you for joining me.

July 2017 6 | news AROUND THE WORLD

A spotlight on women in the news and news of interest to women

India’s Oldest Cardiologist Turns 100! Dr Sivaramakrishna Iyer Padmavati, who received the Padma Vibhushan and Padma Bhushan for her pioneering work in cardiology, turned 100 on June 21. Born in Burma in 1917, she trained in UK and the US in the late 1940s and the early ‘50s and was India’s first woman cardiologist. She is credited with not just training several of India’s best cardiologists, but she also set up the country’s first cardiology clinic, created the first cardiology department in an Indian medical college, and founded India’s first heart foundation meant to spread awareness about diseases of the heart. Happy, hearty birthday, doctor!

PREGNANT WITH MEANING A booklet released by the Central Council for Research in Yoga and Naturopathy, part of the Ministry of Ayush, created a storm just ahead of International Day for Yoga (June 21). It advised pregnant women to abstain from non-vegetarian food and lustful thoughts. While international media poked fun at the Indian government’s fuddy-duddy rules, Indian doctors voiced their concern at the consequences on maternity health. The ministry later clarified that the tips were taken from traditional yoga wisdom and that certain phrases had been selectively highlighted by the media. It had also advocated abstinence from white flour, fried food, and feelings of anger, hatred and attachment. news | 7 The Comfort of Fitness While we’re on the subject of Yoga Day, Reebok announced a new line of yoga- wear with actress Malaika Arora as brand ambassador. Known for her fitness fetish and workout videos on Instagram, she looks suitably hot in Reebok separates. What got our attention, however, was a ‘Fit India’ survey done by Reebok, which showed that “56% women opt for comfort while choosing their workout gear.” We’re now highly intrigued about what the other 44% opted for.

Free Honeymoon Alert We know you love special offers so we thought we’d share with you the latest scoop from Jordan. In an effort to promote the Western Asian nation as a wedding destination for Indians, Jordan’s tourism board is offering a free honeymoon for seven nights for booking a wedding at any destination in Jordan – whether it’s one of the luxury resorts around the Dead Sea, or closer to the ancient city of Petra. It appears our desi penchant for big fat weddings has won us a deal.

Women’s Cricket Gets a Prize Boost The ongoing ICC Women’s World Cup comes with a 10-fold increase in the prize fund, up from $200,000 in 2013 to $2 million this year. Of course, that’s still only a fraction of what men’s World Cup got in 2015: $10 million. Even so, it’s heartening to note that ICC has shown an “intent to move towards equality across the game within 15 years”. A recent study by BBC Sport found that 83% sports now reward men and women equally, up from 70% in 2014.

July 2017 8 | role models WONDERING WOMAN Hollywood’s new feminist icon Wonder Woman has left Indian female audiences puzzled. What is the big deal, we ask? By Aekta Kapoor

uch has been made life story of two village girls from in the West about Haryana growing up to become how Patty Jenkins’ international wrestling champions. Wonder Woman has We watched the film twice in the Mdone in one wham-bam what an same multiplex, then again on TV. illustrious lineage of superheroes None of my friends could could not do – ignite a sense of fathom the greatness of Wonder empowerment in little girls and Woman either. It was just another grown women by giving them a fantasy film, wasn’t it? Gal Gadot strong heroine to look up to. A looked very pretty, no doubt. But heroine who does not need a man why was a so-called goddess so to be powerful and whole, who clueless all the time? How come can fight better than the men, and she didn’t recognise the other god? look marvellous while at it. It was funny how she rejected In India, however, cinemagoers women’s clothing, but her body- like myself found the idea quaint. baring outfit was hardly an ode to “The film is entertaining but feminism. Oh, and the boy didn’t meaningless,” I said to my teenager have to die. after leaving the multiplex, telling Later, chancing upon an Ola her about all the hoopla in the driver’s picture of Goddess Durga Western media. “It’s all make- stuck to his car’s dashboard, it believe, so it’s not empowering finally struck me.T he difference in really. I’m rather more inspired by reception lies in the fact that, here movies that show regular women in India, we’ve had superheroines doing extraordinary things,” she for a long time. Far longer. And so replied, referencing Aamir Khan- many of them. There’s Mahadevi, starrer Dangal inspired from a real- of course, the original mama

July 2017 role models | 9 with a 108 different names. She’s Gal Gadot the ultimate amazon. The all- as Wonder encompassing power that drives Woman the universe. The legendary shakti who permeates every star in the sky and every cell in your body. We’ve grown up seeing so many different goddess avatars and superpowers that modern Hollywood heroines can barely hold a feeble LED light to them. Our wonder woman can turn you to dust with her gaze, raise you to the heavens with her palm. She thunders and roars, and turns the blood of men to water. She has eight hands, an all-seeing third eye, and the ability to shower all the world’s wealth and knowledge on you – if you’re nice. She has no need to live up to any cultural notions of womanhood, no need to wear a shiny vest or short shorts, no need to ‘behave like a woman’. You don’t mess with the devi. Indeed, she needs no man – she is She’s also a love so powerful, so the baap of all men. unyielding and constant, that even Oh and can she slay, slay, slay. the gods worship her. Real heads with blood and matted You can move the universe with hair too. And smile sweetly while love like that. riding lions. It’s no wonder, really, that Indian Interestingly, our goddess is also women were left wondering at human. As Parvati, she throws Hollywood’s new feminist icon. tantrums for impossible demands. While ordinary Indian women As Kali, she is fierce and violent. can only dream of the kind of She cries, she swears revenge, freedoms Western women enjoy, she laughs hysterically giving our goddesses throw the ball out everybody goose bumps. She is of the park. Wonder Woman has a unpredictable like the weather – long way to go before she wins our sunny one day, stormy the next. devotion. 

July 2017 10 | ADVENTURE

I Went PARAGLIDING for the First Time at the Age of 61! There’s no age limit – or weight or fitness level – to have an adventure of a lifetime. All you need is the will and enthusiasm to defy naysayers! By Archana Raj Singh

t was on a Shatabdi train to arthritis and was overweight. She Jalandhar from Delhi that I was fit, with years of yoga and met Promila for the first time. Pilates behind her. We didn’t have She would be my roommate much in common except our age, Iat a spiritual retreat we were 61, and the fact that we were both both heading to in Bir, Himachal grandmothers. Pradesh. I was a retired college She told me that, even more dean with my last posting in than the workshop we had signed Bikaner, she was a businessman’s up for, the main attraction for wife from Delhi. I had osteo- her was the paragliding that Bir is famous for. She hadn’t told her family about it – they would be scandalised – but it was non- negotiable for her. I marvelled at her resolve. Later, when the paragliding instructor came to our hotel to count the number of participants in our group, I raised my hand. He was skeptical and asked my weight. “Just 92 kilos,” I said. He appeared even more doubtful, so I added, “I used to run when I was younger,” and demonstrated a wobbly jog. My fellow retreat-members broke into delighted claps and laughter. “You’re amazing!” said one. “Your

July 2017 ADVENTURE | 11

Archana (left) and Promila bonded at a resort in Bir enthusiasm is so inspiring!” said the hill to Billing, where dozens another. So I insisted, and finally, of paragliding operators cater the instructor to thousands of broke into a He asked my weight. adventure seekers smile, and said, every year, boosted “You are old in “92 kilos,” I said. He by the Paragliding age but young at World Cup held heart.” appeared doubtful there in 2015. Instantly, four so I demonstrated a I have always more women been adventurous. in their 30s and wobbly jog. Born into a 40s signed up. family of doctors “If you can do it, so can we!” they and brought up in Rampur, I said. Finally, our contingent of completed my B.Sc from GB 11 aspiring paragliders tumbled Pant University of Agriculture into jeeps for the journey up and Technology in Pantnagar,

July 2017 12 | ADVENTURE

and at 22, went off all alone on considered my age and health. a pilgrimage to Vaishno Devi. He punctured my confidence After doing my M.Sc from MS somewhat, but Promila and the University in Baroda, I got my others cheered me up. first job at Rajasthan Agricultural I decided not to let him ruin University. There, I fell in love my day. Even so, as we put on our with a Rajput from Rajasthan, harnesses at the top of the hill, and married him much to the looking down thousands of feet angst of his family. He was a good at the green Kangra valley below, man, a strong and supportive I had a moment of doubt. My partner. We both completed our guide hitched up the wings, and doctorates while in service, and commanded me to run downhill had two children. We travelled all – “Don’t sit unless I tell you,” he across middle India for work, and eventually landed up in Bikaner The cabbie insisted I He had his first heart attack in 2000, and retired from service was making a mistake, in 2010. A year later, just before I was promoted to the position that I should have of dean of the college of home considered my age and science, he died. I lived alone until my retirement last year, and then health. He punctured decided to move to Faridabad to live with my son. my confidence. Loneliness is a strange beast. It uncovers old wounds and bestows shouted above the strong mountain new longings. wind. Other guides held my gear It took some courage for me to tightly – I was a high-risk client sign up for this spiritual workshop for them because of my weight and in Bir with complete strangers. arthritic limp. My heart wavered; I My children encouraged me; ran a few steps and sat back before they figured it would give me an the instruction came. opportunity to meet new people We all fell. and find a new purpose in my life. “It’s okay, it’s okay!” my guide But paragliding was not really on called from behind me. They lifted the agenda. me up and walked me a little On the drive up to Billing, the further downhill. I asked him cab driver insisted I was making his name. “Vasudev,” he replied. a mistake, that I should have Lord Krishna. I let out a sigh of

July 2017 ADVENTURE | 13 surrender. “If Vasudev is with me, I down the slopes, the Buddhist need nothing else,” I told him, and monasteries of Bir sitting sagely steeled myself. I would fly today, thousands of feet below us. We even if I died trying. flew for over 20 minutes, landing We took off the second time into the orange sun amidst the without a hitch. cheers of my teammates. It was dusk. The air was cold, I told my children about it. My and the wind in my face was grandson showed my paragliding exhilarating. My stomach lurched pictures to his friends. “That’s my as we swerved close over pines nani,” he said, proudly. 

Archana and her guide Vasudev flying thousands of feet above Bir-Billing in Kangra Valley

July 2017 14 | PERFORMING ARTS the GENDER OF DANCE Odissi danseuse and Padma Shri awardee Aruna Mohanty is out to challenge gender stereotypes with her dance By Anita Panda Mishra

hy are male dancers called gurus and female performers called merely dancers? A guru Whas no gender. In the performing arts, gender does not exist, affirms Aruna Mohanty, one of the finest Odissi dancers on the Indian stage. Known for her phenomenal talent and personal charisma, she is a rebel in poetic disguise, whose unconventional dance and choreography is an attempt at shattering stereotypes. “On the Padma Shri Aruna Mohanty stage, your gender is neutral. We are the sutradhars – narrators of of her soul, and, while giving a a story. I sometimes play Radha, speech during Nari Chetna 2015, sometimes Shiva, or Shikhandi, admitted that she is more eloquent who was neither male nor female,” with her hand or eye movements says the award-winning vice rather than the words she speaks. president of the Odisha Sangeet Even while being careful to Natak Akademi, who was awarded preserve the basic structure and the Padma Shri this year. aesthetics of the ancient art Watching Aruna speak is a form of Odissi, the international lesson in grace and humility. She dance mentor uses her intimate considers dance to be the essence knowledge of bhava, bhangi, taala

July 2017 PERFORMING ARTS | 15 and abhinaya to create innovative me to live. Every woman must be performances that provoke and allowed to pursue that passion.” inspire global audiences with their As someone who has defied the contemporary cultural sensibilities. conventional portrayal of women “The stage is a temple for us on the dance stage, Aruna says she as performers, and as a dancer choreographs her dances from I celebrate life through my “a performer’s point of view, not performance,” says Aruna, who was just from a woman’s perspective.” a student of the legendary Guru For instance, in her portrayal of Gangadhar Pradhan and started Sita’s agni pariksha (test of fire), her training at the age of 10. character tells Lord Rama, “It is he “thinking danseuse” says Tthat a nari, or woman, has eight vashisthas or forms. “She can “Every woman has shed tears through her eyes, smile her own dreams. It through her lips and if required, is unfair to force stand up like Goddess Durga or Shakti with her eight limbs. She her into certain has the power and confidence to roles and expect be a multi-tasker,” explains Aruna, her to ‘tolerate’ opining that a woman is quite capable of excelling in all her her limited roles both inside and outside the freedoms” home. “Every woman has her own dreams, desires and talents. If she has the power to generate another not my fault that I was kidnapped universe and new life within her, by Ravana. This test of my she can also achieve everything character is a deep humiliation for else. It is unfair to force her into me! I strongly protest and would certain roles and expect her to rather go back to Mother Earth. I ‘tolerate’ her limited freedoms,” she am a woman with the right to live adds, her spirit fiery but her tone life on my terms and conditions. moderated after years of rigorous Not with anyone’s permission.” training in the arts. Her unlined It is a potent and powerful face and bright eyes defy her 57 message in a misogynistic society years, and her hands move about in that, even now, blames the victim unconscious mudras as she speaks, in cases of gender violence and “I tell my mother-in-law that domestic abuse. A rare gift, indeed: dancing for me is not a profession Aruna Mohanty’s dance speaks a but my passion. It is the oxygen for thousand words. 

July 2017 16 | SCREENSHOT

Scuba Does It Oorja Gonepavaram, 17, Pune

y south Indian dad and north Indian mom met while in M college. Dad was an officer in the Indian Navy, but that has nothing to do with my love of the sea. We lived till 2006 in Delhi and then moved to Pune. Till last year, my brother and I studied at Pune’s Orchid School. I had a very high score in my 10th boards and was brainwashed into thinking science would be best for me. But by the end of class 11, I realised it was a terrible idea. I wasn’t allowed to change my subjects, so I left school and joined the Drivechange Learning and Resource Centre, where I now study business studies, history, thinking skills, psychology and English. This suits me much better since I know exactly what I am going to do next: scuba dive. I got my junior license in 2013, and am now an advanced open-water scuba-diving license holder. I had to crack the ad- vanced theory and dive tests in 2015 in Phuket, Thailand. After completing my 12th, I plan to graduate in business studies with a scholarship to a foreign university and then join my mother’s travel company and start a scuba-diving holidays vertical along with her. It’s sorted.

July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 17

Rescued by a Lifeboat and Other Lessons in Handling Stress It sometimes takes an extreme event to teach you about your own capacity to handle stress, understand it, and survive it By Kay Newton

young woman is sitting can locate the vessel. Despite being holding onto a VHF radio; thrown around the cabin as the she is wearing a life jacket. waves get bigger and stronger, Around her waist is a she still carries on in the same pieceA of rope which, if followed, methodical manner. She has been leads to two men on the bridge doing this for four hours… who both look terrified.T he That was me 30 years ago, sitting motorboat has no engines and is in the main salon of a 20m private slowly being pushed towards the yacht, furiously bobbing up and east coast of Britain. If it doesn’t down on the ocean. The storm capsize before it reaches the rocks, was a force 8 on the Beaufort scale it will be smashed to pieces. The at the time. I remember looking woman is talking into the radio, down at the rope and thinking, if slowly counting backwards from we capsize, this is going to do me a 10 in order that the lifeboat crew s**t lot of good!

July 2017 18 | PERSONAL GROWTH

Well, I wouldn’t be writing this How do I deal with stress and if we had. stay reasonably calm despite what Recently, life has thrown lots life throws at me? One of the of stressful situations my way: things is my stress philosophy. We downsizing, moving from our have been told a lie about stress. 30-year luxury lifestyle in Spain Yes, stress can kill, yet you do to a small two-roomed tin-roofed not have to take a pill or potion house near a pristine beach in to calm stress. Your response to Zanzibar. (The beach part, actually, stress is part of you; it’s inbuilt and wasn’t too hard!) I have dealt with serves a purpose. You only need nautical emergencies, running to learn how to harness it. Write businesses, bringing up a family, down what stresses you, how you looking after parents remotely, respond, and what’s good about it. hormonal hell (andropause, Then share it with someone else. menopause and adolescence all at There are different types of stress once!), empty-nest syndrome, my and if you listen to your body, you husband’s bouts of depression, and can use them to your advantage. becoming an orphan. You often cannot take yourself

Kay Newton was born British but spent most of her life in Spain. She now lives by the beach in Zanzibar

18 July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 19

away from the circumstances You don’t need a you find yourself in (I certainly wouldn’t have tried to swim pill to calm stress. against those huge waves), yet you Your response to can choose how to tap into your natural stress-coping mechanisms. stress is part of Avoiding stress allows it to come you; it’s inbuilt back and bite you even harder and serves a in the bum! It will make you ill. Instead, deal with stress head on. purpose. You only You can learn from experience need to harness it. and hardwire yourself to cope with even further stressful situations. Think of the learning a pilot has strength. When dealing with my to go through to hardwire herself father’s cancer, the local doctor said for all the stress she may encounter I was an inspiration: “Not many whilst flying a commercial aircraft. people in today’s Western world Dealing with stress is no different; drop everything to help a dying it takes time and practice. The parent,” she said. Yet family is a more you face stress successfully, high value for me; it was the least I the more immune you become. could do. nowing thyself is important Conquering stress requires you Kwhen dealing with stress. At 16, to have an open mind. Stress is a I was given a list of my ‘core values’ great time to learn another point whilst attending an Outward of view. It also increases your Bound course. I still refer to them; physical resilience, enhances your I use them to manipulate stress to focus, deepens your relationships my advantage. For example, I hate and strengthens your personal exams, I get extremely nervous, values. Stress challenges you to find yet I know that this ‘stress’ serves a your meaning in life. A happy life higher purpose. One of my highest will not be stress-free. values is knowledge, so exam stress I got a commendation from is worth it. Lowestoft Lifeboat for staying calm Stress can also be conquered under stressful situations. Face your by using the care-giving side of stress head on, and you can have you. It strengthens your social that commendation too.  relationships, helps you become If you need help dealing with stress more resilient, find hope, and and/or anxiety, you can find the author meaning. It allows for growth and at www.Kay-Newton.com.

July 2017 20 | MAN OF THE MOMENT

Shahid Kapoor The vegetarian has beefed up for his role in Padmavati

20 July 2017 MAN OF THE MOMENT | 21

hrice voted ‘hottest his look”. Very important, that. vegetarian’ in India, Shahid The 36-year-old star’s diet Kapoor has hired Canadian also comprises a lot of Asian chef Kelvin Cheung to style of cooking, given that he is helpT him achieve a ‘warrior-like’ completely off salt.T he spices used lean, ripped body in Sanjay Leela in Asian cuisine give the meal a Bhansali’s upcoming Bollywood certain flavour despite the absence flick, Padmavati. Shahid’s daily diet of salt. His treats are usually small, will now eat three meals and two sweet nuggets made of coconut snack packs – all vegetarian, of milk as he doesn’t consume any course. The diet involves a lot of artificial sugar. A bowl of cut greens, high protein grains and mangoes is a summer indulgence. legumes, and healthy carbohydrates. “Fitness has always been a part According to Kelvin, it will give of who I am,” says Shahid, who is Shahid “an energy boost to survive father of a baby daughter. “Even the long working hours of his though it can be tougher for me as arduous schedule, and efficiently a vegetarian, it’s completely worth give him stronger muscle mass it at the end of the day.” Seeing while maintaining the aesthetics of these pictures, we think so too. 

July 2017 22 | COVER STORY Let’s talk about sex

July 2017 COVER STORY | 23

Alankrita Shrivastava’s award-winning new filmLipstick Under My Burkha created a storm of controversy when the censor board blocked its release, deeming the subject of female sexuality unfit for public consumption. But the feisty filmmaker wasn’t going down without a fight By Aekta Kapoor

The film has a stellar star cast including Konkona Sensharma, who plays an unhappy housewife

s an 11-year-old in more than two decades later. “I had Welham Girls’ School goose bumps seeing that amateur in Dehradun, Alankrita AV for the first time.T hat’s all I Shrivastava attended a wanted to do in my senior year – Ascreening of an audio-visual made make a film.” by her seniors for the school’s In fact, she made many films, the annual-day function. It was held most recent of which managed to after dark in an open space on get under the skin of the Central the campus. The students watched Board of Film Certification in silence as the images unfolded (CBFC). Directed by Alankrita, on screen, the soft cool breeze Lipstick Under My Burkha won of Uttarkhand’s foothills casting 10 awards at film festivals around a magical spell in the darkness. the world from November 2016 “It was beautiful,” says Alankrita till June 2017 – including the

July 2017 24 | COVER STORY

Ratna Pathak Shah is one of the four protagonists in the film, which is set in a small town in India

Oxfam Award for the Best Film on restrained lives. The censor board, Gender Equality at the Mumbai while refusing to certify the film, Film Festival, the Spirit of Asia said, “The story is lady oriented, prize at the Tokyo International their fantasy above life. There are Film Festival, the Best Film at continuous sexual scenes, abusive Glasgow Film Festival, and the words, audio pornography and Grand Jury prize at Films de a bit sensitive touch about one Femme, Creteil, France. particular section of society, hence But its Indian release was struck film refused (sic).” down by the censorship body ut Alankrita, who did her earlier this year. BBachelor’s in journalism from With a stellar cast including Lady Shri Ram College and Konkona Sensharma, Ratna Pathak Master’s in mass communication Shah, Aahana Kumra, Plabita from Jamia Millia University Borthakur, Sushant Singh, Vikrant in Delhi, was not one to take it Massey and Shashank Arora, the lying down. “There is no nudity film revolves around four women in the film.T o use the word from small-town India on a quest ‘pornography’ is just ridiculous. to express their desires and dreams There are hundreds of other films within the confines of their that pander to the male gaze –

July 2017 COVER STORY | 25 in fact, many mainstream films challenges. Having spent her blatantly sexualise and objectify formative years reading about women – but those films are literary heroines at her progressive cleared for release while a film that all-girls boarding school, Alankrita presents the female point of view is entered college with a sense of not,” argues the 37-year-old. empowerment. But personal She adds that the censor board’s troubles pushed her to look for a decision stems from its discomfort deeper meaning in life. Alankrita’s with the film’s portrayal of women mother battled cancer twice while whose needs are not fulfilled in Alankrita was studying. Her father conventional relationships and too suffered severe illnesses when who take control of their sexuality young. Alankrita says she had to through small acts of courage. grow up very quickly, in order to “That threatens the patriarchal be the pillar of support for her order of society,” maintains parents and her younger siblings, Alankrita, who, along with the especially her brother who is 18 film’s producer Prakash Jha, years younger than her. Right from appealed to the Film Certification the first film she made, it was clear Appellate Tribunal (FCAT) to that she was deeply drawn to the overturn the CBFC ruling. stories of women finding strength Alankrita is no stranger to and courage and happiness. “In

The film portrays women who take control of their sexuality through small acts of courage

July 2017 26 | COVER STORY fact, my diploma film was based on single woman dealing with my mother’s battle against cancer,” relationships and social and career she says. issues around the time she turns 30. Encouraged by her mother Even after a decade of work in to pursue her dreams, Alankrita the industry, Alankrita found the moved to Mumbai as she was lack of female voices disconcerting. finishing her Master’s. Both her “Our film industry has a very parents were recovering by then, narrow view of gender dynamics, and she found she was able to politics of representation, the shift base. She began working context of the gaze, alternative as a trainee assistant director on narratives,” she says, adding that it Prakash Jha’s GangaaJal earning is vital for a society to allow the barely Rs 5,000 per month and female perspective and have more living in a redeveloped slum. But women making films. “I feel like I she grew steadily am always on the in her career, back foot in terms moving from “Our film industry has of not filling into assistant director a very narrow view the paradigm to chief assistant of mainstream director on of gender dynamics. I cinema. There Apaharan (2005) feel like i am always on is a need to be as executive the back foot in terms defensive about producer on the films I make.” Khoya Khoya of not fitting into In 2012, Chand and mainstream cinema” Alankrita wrote Dil Dosti Etc the first draft of (both 2007), and then as associate Lipstick Under My Burkha. She then director for Raajneeti (2010). She applied for and was selected for a wrote and directed a short film screenwriter’s lab at the National featuring Tisca Chopra about a Film Development Corporation woman in an abusive marriage. of India (NFDC), and was able As a single girl in Mumbai to hone the script there. “The trying to make a life for herself, screenwriter’s lab was a turning her experiences were echoed in point for me. It enabled me and her first feature film Turning 30!!! helped me figure out my voice, Released in 2011 starring Gul and I had a fantastic mentor in Panag and Purab Kohli, it was set Urmi Juvekar,” she says. “My in an urban milieu that Alankrita previous films and my new scripts herself identified with: an upper all have a consciously female gaze. middle-class, English-speaking They are about women finding

July 2017 COVER STORY | 27

The story of women trying to defy social constraints was too inflammatory for the censor board courage, happiness and freedom in In December 2016, she applied the depths of their lives,” she adds. to the CBFC to certify her film By the time she finished making for public exhibition in India. the film, however, tragedy struck. “But the story of four ordinary After battling illnesses for three women trying to steal a little years, Alankrita’s father passed away freedom from the claustrophobia in March 2016, when he was 61. of their lives was deemed unfit for lankrita says it was a very public exhibition,” she says about Adifficult period for her, but CBFC’s February ruling, which she just carried on with her life triggered a public outcry with and work as best as she could. hundreds of women and women’s Her father’s memory alive and organisations taking to social raw, she travelled with the film to media to voice their indignation. festivals around the world – Tokyo, #LipstickUnderMyBurkha was the Stockholm, Miami, Paris, Glasgow, most trending hashtag in India for Tallinn, London, Amsterdam, Los several weeks. Angeles, New York, Cairo, Dallas, In April 2017, based on Washington, Athens, Hawaii, Seoul, Alankrita’s appeal, FCAT directed Shanghai, Geneva, Spain. the censor board to grant an ‘A’

July 2017 28 | COVER STORY certificate to the film and clear it film. “Rarely do we have credible for release, with a few ‘voluntary’ entertainers that stimulate the cuts of certain Hindi words and mind and are peppered with spunk scenes. “The Examining and and humour,” the media baroness Revising Committee of the CBFC told The Indian Express about have misdirected themselves Alankrita’s film, adding, “Lipstick in denying certification on the Under My Burkha signifies a ground that the story of the film rebellion of the mind. I believe that is women-oriented. There cannot this is story that needs to be told be any embargo on a women- and wanted to put all the muscle

oriented film or one containing behind a film like this.” sexual fantasies and expression Alankrita’s life experiences of the inner desires of women,” have led her to this point, believes observed the Tribunal in its order. Alankrita, to be able to fearlessly However the certification for the challenge gender stereotypes in film finally came through only on popular culture, and to speak up June 3. The film is now slated for a for the right of women to express July 21 release with Ekta Kapoor’s themselves. “I think obstacles in life Alt Entertainment as presenter have to make us stronger, they have and pan-India distributor for the to make us grow,” she sums up.

July 2017 SCREENSHOT | 29

Flying Mama NK Mridula, 68, Kannur, Delhi, Hong Kong, UK

orn in a family of doctors in Kerala, I got my Master’s in B zoology in the early 1970s. My eldest sister, who was active in politics, arranged my marriage with a young Parliamentarian, one of Kerala’s most promising leaders of the time. He made a loving husband. We had twins in 1973, and then our third child in 1975, just days after Emergency was announced in India. Those were dark times for Opposition leaders – and their families. When Emergency was lifted, my husband was elected to Kerala’s legislative assembly by a large margin and got back to work. One day, he came home after giving a speech, spoke to me about his day, and then had a sudden cardiac arrest. He died within seconds even as I watched. At 29 with three small children, I worked as a professor, and two decades later, was selected to the Kerala Public Service Commission. I retired after serving a full term. In the meantime, my children moved to different parts of the globe – New Delhi, Doha, Sussex and Hong Kong. I now visit them in turns, a few months at a time, with stopovers in Kannur to check on the mail. It’s been an eventful journey. 

July 2017 30 | POLITICS

politics of talaq Divorce in Islam is at the centre of a heated tug-of-war between political parties and religious bodies. Is anyone listening to the Muslim woman? By Zain Anwar

he practice of triple talaq talaq was picked up by the poster – in which a husband can boys of Hindutva politics, led by divorce his wife by uttering BJP, who gained political mileage “talaq” thrice – is back by blaming the Congress party of inT the news, causing turbulent minority appeasement. debates on prime-time television Ever since, the debate over triple in India. But it is plain for talaq has been low-lying fruit for everyone, Muslims or otherwise, the BJP. Most recently, it came to see the political opportunism up before the elections in Uttar on all sides disguised as women’s Pradesh. Though the practice empowerment. First ignited in the is banned across several Islamic late 1980s by Rajiv Gandhi whose theocracies in the world, India’s government intervened in the Muslim Personal Law Board came Supreme Court’s decision on the out in defence of it. The counter Shah Bano case, the topic of triple argument was led by the Narendra

July 2017 POLITICS | 31 Modi-led BJP government, who any excuse for their ignorance. also garnered support from several They have access to radio, liberal and feminist organisations. television and internet. If nothing, In the midst of these vehement they have their own intellect to views, the most ignored voice is rely on. Should we not stand the one that the debate aims to against what we feel is unjust?” empower: that of Muslim women. Sumbal, an Indian based Systematically denied a in Melbourne, offers another space in religion, women grow perspective. “We do need changes, up internalising a patriarchal but we don’t need them forced interpretation of Islam, which they down our throat. Genuine change are forbidden to question. They has to come from within. If the do not even dare ask whether the debate was started by a Muslim practice of oral talaq was actually a woman, I would have lent my part of Quranic traditions. “My husband divorced me “since the 1980s, the through a letter. I had two sons to bring up. My elders tried to debate over triple mediate but my husband wouldn’t talaq has been low- take me back. So I lived with my brother for a while, and then lying fruit for the BJP. remarried for the sake of my Most recently, it came children,” says a Lucknow resident up before the elections requesting anonymity, adding, “It is too big a system for us to in Uttar Pradesh.” challenge. We do as the elders say.” Ambreen Fatma, a student voice to it. Why should I support from Agra, has her own theory somebody’s political strategy?” on why Muslim women defend Indian Muslims are not a the practice of triple talaq despite monolith body. Divided by culture suffering for it. “The movement and education, Muslim women has been started by a political present a vivid thought-spectrum. party we suspect of damaging They are not afraid of change; it our cultural values. We have been is only the game-changers they constantly fed that our identity is suspect. Indian history is filled with under threat, and this appeared like examples of common people who yet another instance.” took it upon themselves to start a Her sister, Arsheen, has the revolution. But Muslim women are opposite viewpoint. With fury, she still searching for a revolutionary says, “Women can no longer give they can call their own. 

July 2017 32 | CAREER

Shreya takes care of every little detail for her clients PARTY PRINCESS A bride-to-be’s response to a successful mehendi party triggered off a new career for Shreya Mohan, and led to the creation of Mor Punk

wo years ago, Shreya Mohan Her imaginary village was called arranged a birthday bash Mohanva Gaon, and the most for herself with a guest list imaginatively dressed ‘villagers’ of about 50. The Delhi- were given prizes. basedT marketing professional began An alumna of London School of planning for the pool party months Economics (LSE), Shreya was soon in advance – personally stitching beset by requests from friends and the initials of each guest on towels family to organise parties. Having she had bought as party favours. worked several years in corporate The same year, she hosted a Diwali jobs, she realised it was time to do party with a village theme. So something new, something of her each table had steel tiffins laden own. And so her party and events with chana chor garam, and her 80 firm Mor Punk was born. guests sat on charpoys in little huts Born and brought up in having matka kulfi and desi hookahs. Delhi to a businessman father

July 2017 CAREER | 33 and homemaker mom, Shreya fashion stores had begun shutting completed her schooling from down. The lessons she learnt in Convent of Jesus and Mary but her career journey helped hone had not expected to do very well her people management and in her 12th boards. “Surprisingly, I organisation skills. scored very well, and managed to “I’m inspired by the good things get into St Stephens for a degree in in life. I am extravagant and love to mathematics,” laughs the vivacious party,” says Shreya of her attraction 30-year-old. After interning a year to event planning and hosting. “I at Pepsico, she headed to London love having more and more work for the “best two years” of her life. to do; sitting still just doesn’t suit Armed with a Master’s in me.” Confident and driven, she management from LSE, Shreya also loves the challenge of doing worked in various roles across something new with each event – industries, starting with luxury “Everyone asks for a unique theme, label Chanel in Mumbai and and I personally too hate repeating moving on to e-commerce fashion something that has already been brands based out of Delhi. She done. Challenges inspire me.” even started her own app, which Shreya’s very first client was her was meant to serve as a directory younger sister’s best friend. Not and review platform for online satisfied with the way her mehendi- shopping portals, but after a year party preparations were going, the gave it up since several online young woman turned to Shreya for help. “I was surprised to realise that I had just as much passion and interest in organising her event as my own,” recalls Shreya, who organised an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ theme for the mehendi function, a few days before the client’s wedding. Shreya took care of every little detail, from the furniture to the décor and table settings, and added party games for the guests, who were mostly young adults and had plenty of energy to expend. Later, the bride-to-be walked up to Shreya and said, “You’re the best decision I ever made.” For Shreya, it was just the beginning. 

July 2017 34 | JOURNEY From Loss to

LOSingapore-based journalist SwapnaV Mitter tookE a brave decision after the death of her husband... By Anita Panda Mishra

wapna Mitter quotes John was at a crossroad after finishing Lennon’s iconic lines to college, and the need to become describe her journey: Life independent led her to journalism. is what happens to you when After an arranged marriage with Syou are busy making other plans. IIT-IIM post-graduate Mayukh, Momentous events happened ‘in she shifted base to Mumbai, a the blink of an eye’, as she puts move that opened up an entirely it, throwing her into unchartered new world to her. The exposure waters, forcing her to change, take to metropolitan corporate life, risks, lose a partner, and find a new global travelling and meeting purpose to live again. “The show new people through her jobs in must go on,” she says, stoically. national newspapers enhanced the Born and raised in Kolkata, young woman’s confidence.T he Swapna’s secure, happy childhood couple then moved to Singapore could not buffet the shocks after Mayukh got a job there; to life would throw her way later. the USA for five years; and back The pampered only child of a to Singapore again. On returning, homemaker-mother and a father Swapna worked with a Singapore who was a High Court judge, women’s magazine, and then she imbibed from her parents the freelanced as a journalist, writing principles of honesty, fairness and for Singapore’s top publications on compassion. At 15, however, she a variety of subjects. Currently, she was forced to mature overnight co-runs a company that caters to when she lost her mother to an the writing and editing needs of illness. The vivacious teenager various clients.

July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 35

Raised in Kolkata, Swapna’s happy childhood could not buffet the shocks life would throw her way later

From her modest middle-class life and death. Support from her Kolkata upbringing to cruising friends and family in Singapore American highways and shopping and India helped her come to at Orchard Road in Singapore, terms with her loss, though bitter life with Mayukh was exciting court battles kindled by his death and stimulating. They travelled to showed her the worst extremes exotic destinations on holidays, of human behaviour. The blissful attended concerts and sporting memories from her time spent events, and went out for fancy with Mayukh gave her solace dinners and movies. every time she despaired. “I did But Swapna’s cosy world came not want to become a recluse,” says crashing down in 2011. Mayukh Swapna. Surrounding herself with suddenly developed deep vein caring people helped her survive thrombosis and passed away. He that turbulent phase and emerge was just 45. Shattered, Swapna stronger from it. battled grief, anger and numbness, She immersed herself in her read books and went on a spiritual writing and reporting, but an quest to fathom the meaning of old desire resurfaced as Swapna

July 2017 36 | JOURNEY

entered her late 40s: motherhood. a father figure but I am confident Influenced by reports of girls being of making her believe that she can abandoned and trafficked in India thrive and be whoever she aspires and around the world, she decided to be irrespective of that.” Swapna to adopt a girl child. The rules for feels fortunate for the presence adoption in Singapore are simpler of support groups to ease the than in India, and she introspected adjustment and to help cope with over the “right reasons” before the challenges of adoption. “My going ahead. “I was not looking aim is to inculcate in my child the for a replacement for a companion values taught by my own parents,” in my life. Instead, I felt enabled says the 50-year-old. She believes one must dwell on the positives even though it is hard “I was not looking at times. Experience has taught for a replacement her that while grief never goes away, one learns to live with it. for a companion On a more practical level, women in my life. Instead, must plan for their future and finances, and execute a properW ill I felt enabled to to “ensure your kids know who offer a good life to turn to if something were to and all my love to happen to you.” Swapna’s story is one a child.” of admirable strength and determination. “If someone had told me this is how my life was to offer a good life and all my love going to be when I was young, to a child,” she explains. In 2015, I would’ve probably fainted. But an adorable three-month-old baby here I am.” The single mother girl ushered in a joyful new phase alludes to Shakespeare as she in her life. concludes on a philosophical note: Does she wonder whether her “All the world’s a play. It’s just my little girl will ask her one day role to play and how I enact it is about the absence of a father? “Of up to me.” course,” says Swapna pragmatically. Right now she is happy playing “One of the things we were told loving mom and keeping her at the adoption briefings is to be husband’s memories alive through honest with our children. There an annual quiz in his name that has will be times when she may miss created a buzz in Singapore. 

July 2017 PARENTING | 37 Aariv’s First Haircut Taking an autistic child for his first haircut promises to be an unexpected experience. A mother shares her experience and learning By Pallavi Shankar

a disaster so much so that I didn’t have the guts to try it for another couple of years. I am hoping the hairdresser is not scarred for life. I had to tell him that it’s not his fault, nor Aariv’s, nor mine. There is very little awareness in India about ASD (autism spectrum disorder) – a developmental disorder characterised by difficulties in social interaction and communication and repetitive patterns of thought and behaviour. So people in stores, salons and other public places usually have little or no idea about how to react to kids on the spectrum. I don’t blame them as popular arents with small children mass media hardly focuses on know how herculean a these problems unlike in the first task it is to take your little world – yes, I will say so even if it boy or girl to the salon for is not the most politically correct Pa haircut. The situation is trickier thing to say; the facilities there are when the child in question has way better and people more aware. autism, and when you are a single National TV and newspapers in mother with no companion the West do quite a bit to create around to lend a helping hand (or awareness for health conditions ear). My first such attempt with that are not typically mainstream. my six-year-old son Aariv ended in Coming back to the topic of

July 2017 38 | PARENTING haircuts, it’s a tough job because 3. Choose a friendly salon: spectrum kids have many sensory Make sure you choose a friendly issues that magnify pain in their hairdresser for the job. Meet him mind. They are not playacting. or her and explain all the details It’s real – the pokey hair that falls about your child’s condition and on the nape of our neck and his challenges. An impatient person mildly irritates us affects them will find it hard to manage a 10 times more and this usually hyperactive and scared child. Also, leads to meltdowns. Plus, autistic the salon staff should be kept in kids are skeptical and sensitive the loop so that they are able to about anything they don’t clearly inform other clients who may not understand. like it if a child screams and cries. Things get better as the child grows up but there are no short- 4. Take along a favourite cuts and preparation is the only toy: It is always a good idea to way out. There are three things carry your child’s favourite toy needed to make haircut easier for (car or gadget or a soft toy) to the these kids – planning, planning salon because that may help in and planning. I tried the following distracting him from the process of tips to make my son Aariv’s first the haircut. (real) haircut as hassle-free as possible and tasted success. Mission impossible is possible!

1. Brush up: Occupation therapists (OT) will tell you how brushing your child’s hair with a special sensory brush (you can order online) helps in de- sensitising the crown of the child. Check with the OT therapist on how to get the process right and do that every day for five minutes.

2. Show haircut videos: Play YouTube videos of fun haircuts a week in advance before the haircut appointment day. Do this every single day to prepare your child Spectrum kids have sensory issues that magnify mentally for the ‘big snip’. pain in their mind. They are not playacting

July 2017 PARENTING | 39

Pallavi had to research and work out different ways to deal with her son’s day-to-day issues

5. Make him/her sit in your 6. End the haircut with a lap and guard the eyes: reward: Once it’s all done, pat To make the child feel comfortable, your kiddo’s back and gift him make him sit in your lap while the his favourite food – ice cream, hairdresser chops off his unruly chocolate, burger, a toy, or even a locks (they usually are so because visit to a particular shop or park – hurried haircuts done by mom at anything he is really fond of. Say home are far from neat). Put your you are proud that he was patient arms around him and hold his – a “well done” compliment along head tight to make the job easier with a hug and kiss goes a long – this way you can also guard his way in assuring the child that face and eyes if he moves or jumps he will be appreciated in both without any warning. And carry tangible and non-tangible ways a fresh pair of clothes for him to if he cooperates now and in the change into after the haircut is future. All the best! completed because prickly bits Read more about Pallavi and Aariv’s of hair can aggravate your child’s journey on her blog autismadapted. sensory problems. wordpress.com.

July 2017 40 | FACING CHALLENGES

Swimming Lessons and seeing more People make instant assumptions about others within seconds of meeting them. But what we do next can change our lives and those of others By Annemarie Shrouder

hen we meet someone, those first seconds can shape we make some our responses, our words, our assumptions and treatment of them, and ultimately decisions about who our connection (or lack thereof). Wwe think they are. It is automatic They can also shape outcomes and – some of it conscious and some possibilities. I learned this as an unconscious. What we do with athlete, and it changed my life.

July 2017 FACING CHALLENGES | 41 I was an athlete in high school. By the end of the tryout, I had Despite my height of six feet, it moved from the fast lane (where wasn’t basketball or volleyball I my track experience suggested I excelled at, it was track and field. I should be) to the slow lane, made a was a 100m sprinter, a hurdler, and lot of swimmers angry, and was still a high jumper. In my final year, my trying to catch my breath at the school in Toronto started a swim edge of the pool. I was embarrassed team, which I joined and enjoyed. and I wanted to disappear. Being an athlete was an important That could have been the end of part of my identity. my swimming career, but it wasn’t. When I moved on to University I bought myself a swimsuit and of Toronto, I discovered to my went back for tryout part II. dismay that there was no track I could feel the stares and the team. My only option was to swim. questions when I showed up the I showed up for tryouts in a pink and black leopard print bathing “I was the only non- suit with a scooped back. All the other girls were wearing swimsuits: white person on the criss-cross backed blue or black deck – not only was my Speedos. Not me. In addition, I was the only non-white person on the bathing suit a beacon deck – so not only was my bathing for my inexperience, my suit a beacon for my inexperience, skin colour attracted my skin colour attracted attention as well. Contrary to track and field, attention as well” in a North American context, swimming was (and continues to next day. But I did my stretching, be) a very white sport. I did not put on my cap and goggles, and know this. All eyes turned and got into the pool. Sadly, but conversations stopped momentarily predictably, it was just as bad as as I walked out of the change- the day before; I was still slow, room. I had a moment’s pause, and still in the way, and still not a tried to make myself as small as I ‘real’ swimmer. But at the end could – not easy when you’re six of the tryout, something magical feet tall. I was thankful when it was happened: the head coach, Alan time to get into the pool. Fairweather, took me aside and But things got worse. I didn’t told me that although he couldn’t know the rules of swimming put me on the competitive team, etiquette, I couldn’t execute a if I was serious about swimming, proper flip turn, and I was slow. he could put me on the B team; I

July 2017 42 | FACING CHALLENGES

could come to morning practices That experience changed my life, which were much less crowded, and taught me a very important and he would work with me. lesson about what we think we I took him up on his offer. see and know about each other, Four years later my 50-freestyle how that can get in the way, the time qualified me to swim in the consequences of it, and how Canadian Inter-University Athletic important it is to see more. It has Union competition – where my shaped how I live, and how I do swim landed me in the top 10! my work. Although I didn’t continue In every blog post I write, with swimming, 13 years later (in workshop I facilitate, speech I 1996) I decided to train for the deliver, or consulting project I lead, first international OUTgames my passion is to challenge people in Montreal. When I qualified, I to see more – more of themselves, returned to the University pool for each other, and situations. So that a check-in with my former coach, we can be open to opportunity, who helped me correct a few key possibility and people’s brilliance, things in my stroke mechanics. I so that we can create spaces where competed in many events at the people can thrive. OUTgames, winning gold medals Seeing more is like a muscle – if in six, including two relays. we practise, it gets stronger. My takeaway from that If this is of interest to you, please experience was profound. sign up for my weekly Inclusion My coach saw everything the Insight on my homepage: www. swimmers did at those tryouts, annemarieshrouder.com. Once you but he also saw my potential. And sign up, it will arrive directly in his ability to see more meant that your inbox, give you something to I was given the opportunity to think about in a different way, and not only learn something new, a challenge for the week so you but excel at it – and contribute. can practise seeing more. 

July 2017 BUSINESS | 43

Jewellery Across Borders Silver jewellery designer Puja Bhargava Kamath talks about the differences in doing business in the US versus India

t all started when Fabindia final product for them.T hat’s how came out with a jewellery I got into jewellery production. range in 2009-10. They knew And now, next month, I will be me as someone who had presenting for the first time at Iworked in the jewellery and craft one of the world’s largest trade sector, and wanted me to design a shows in New York, as part of a collection for their silver jewellery small group of artisanal designers line – mere sketches would not specially handpicked for the event do; they needed me to make the from around the world.

July 2017 44 | business

home, it is an incredible hub of old techniques and a great place to source gems. There are pockets around Jaipur that offer different kinds of enamelling and other techniques; it’s really a one-stop shop for a jewellery designer. Then I got married and moved to Bengaluru with my husband. I named my jewellery label Lai, which is Sanskrit for ‘the beloved one’. My silver jewellery has an Indian soul but appeals to global citizens. I started a Facebook Puja Bhargava Kamath page for my baubles, and soon orders began pouring in from It wasn’t the plan, of course. friends around India. It didn’t look Born in Delhi, I completed my professional to tell them, “We schooling at DPS Mathura Road don’t deliver to Chandigarh,” so I and then headed to National began delivering to Chandigarh, Institute of Fashion Technology to and Delhi, and Mumbai, and major in accessories. I had planned everywhere else. One thing led to to travel around India researching another and I was in business. leather crafts – an excuse, really, to Four years ago, my husband, who step out of the urban landscape and works in IT, got a transfer and we bask in the cool, unpolluted breeze moved to Bay Area, California. By of inner, innocent India for long then I was already retailing from stretches of time. India’s top multi-designer stores I began taking part in Dastkar’s so I had to travel back and forth bi-annual craft fairs where artisans from US to India for my jewellery from all over India display their production and sales. Gradually, wares, and where young designers our American friends began like myself can also express our showing interest in my designs, and talents. It did pretty well, and soon I decided to set up an e-store to I realised I had to become selective cater to a global audience. about where I invested my time There is of course a sea of and energy. I zoomed in on silver difference in the way the two jewellery that I could make from countries receive new designers. Jaipur. Not only was it close to The US is a more mature market,

July 2017 business | 45 and designer startups like mine are happy to feature new designers a dime a dozen. It’s very difficult who do good work. Most stores to get through to a merchandiser go by a commission system, at a store such as Barneys or which is both good and bad for Anthropologie, for instance. And the designer. It’s good because once you do, it is near impossible it’s easier to find an outlet, but to make yourself heard and seen the flipside is that the cost of the above the din of designers who inventory is yours and the store write to them from around the doesn’t have much incentive to world. Also, production and push your product above others.

branding expectations are very At the moment, I’m gearing high, and unless you have your up for the NY Now 2017 trade act together in terms of product show. About 2500 exhibitors are finishing and professional services, expected and I was one of just 20 you won’t get very far. It’s very design entrepreneurs picked for a challenging for a bootstrapped curated segment called ‘Innovation label to make their presence felt. Showcase’. Being shortlisted means In that sense, it’s easier in India. a lot and I’m very excited. My I was able to approach designer husband says I’m a workaholic. stores in just a single call and But it doesn’t feel like work when magazine editors are only too you’re building a dream. 

July 2017 46 | crafts

WEAVING POETRY IN SILK Sari aficionado Srishti Madhav returned from London to work with weavers in Varanasi. Her mission? To revive the gorgeous Benarasi drape

s a young girl in Delhi, Srishti Madhav was intrigued by colours and styles and how they could be married together to create the perfect look. “Initially I just put together outfits for myself, but Aeventually I started doing it for others too and this sparked

July 2017 crafts | 47

my interest in fashion design,” says the attractive 26-year- old, who particularly remembers the first time she went to Varanasi. “I visited some weavers who were creating a sari from scratch. I was so fascinated by this genesis that I just could not stop thinking about this immense talent and skill hidden in Varanasi,” she narrates. Having studied fashion styling and designing from London College of Fashion, Srishti started her own venture called Shree by Srishti to put a spotlight on the artistic prowess of Benarasi weavers. “Art alone cannot help these immensely talented craftsmen attain a livelihood,” emphasises Srishti, who studied in Delhi’s prestigious Vasant Valley School. Starting out with saris and dupattas retailing from India and UK, the label has now also expanded to a range of ethnic ensembles. Their new line of outfits was unveiled in Manchester, UK, this May. Srishti has also held solo exhibitions in several Indian cities from Delhi to Visakhapatnam, and her pieces are available at select multi-designer stores in Raipur

July 2017 48 | crafts

Srishti Madhav

and Nagpur. “During “I just could not winter, our collection leans more towards royal stop thinking about silk creations while for summer our focus is this immense talent on bringing together and skill hidden in comfort and style with fabrics such as chanderi, Varanasi” summer silk and so on. Since we directly source from the weavers, our price points are very competitive,” shares Srishti, whose customers are successful, progressive women who enjoy investing in timeless classics. Srishti credits her husband, who is a sports buff and an investment catalyst, for his unstinting support in her venture. She’s also driven to make her label bigger by her parents-in- law, and finds strength from her mentor and spiritual guru. Ultimately, Srishti’s work is all celebrating the beauty of Indian crafts while also enabling the creators. “Our constant endeavour has been to allow these weavers to earn a living and showcase their talents through our designs,” she says. 

48 July 2017 screenshot | 49 Secret Passion Sanya Gulati, 23, Delhi

’ve been shy and timid since I was child, never assertive I or vocal about my feelings. During my teens I had this inexplicable desire to be a model. I looked up to Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks. I was glued to the TV whenever America’s Next Top Model aired. However, given how nervous and camera-shy I was, I thought it more practical to make a career in writing. I joined Pearl Academy to study fashion media communication. As a part of a project shoot, I had to pick a subculture and its clothing. I chose ‘Teddy Boys’, and it struck me that this was a look I could pull off myself. After much self-counselling and contemplation, I gathered the courage to model for this shoot. And yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. I now work as a full-time fashion writer. But the secret passion for modelling lives on.

July 2017 50 | fashion

the SARI Renaissance She creates down-to-earth saris for the high and mighty. Anavila Misra’s latest collection takes forward her love affair with linen and India By Anupam Dabral

ho would have thought played a major role in shaping her to make saris in linen? design philosophy. By going where no A NIFT graduate in knitwear designer has ever design, Anavila worked closely Wgone before, Anavila Misra stands with the Ministry of Rural tall among a number of ‘back- Development on their craft cluster to-the-roots’ fashion enthusiasts, projects. She launched her first her creations evoking a sense of collection in 2011 with the help of pride and reaffirming one’s faith in a few weavers from Phulia in West ‘made in India’. While her vision Bengal. She took it to Artisans in as a designer is to dress ‘real Indian Kala Ghoda, Mumbai. All her saris women’, the glamorous world of were sold out in no time. Bollywood leaves no opportunity Sustainability is an inseparable to be seen in her designs – from part of Anavila, the brand. Women Sonam Kapoor and Konkona are allowed to work from home, Sharma Sen to Vidya Balan. and a strict zero-waste policy Daughter of an agricultural is followed during production. scientist father and a fine artist Her work ethic is in sync with mother, Anavila Misra was exposed her design philosophy, and her to art early on. She learnt painting, creations reflect the change Indian knitting and sewing under the fashion has gone through in the guidance of her mother at their last few years. With a subdued home in Karnal, Haryana. Her colour palette and free-falling travels to different villages – from drapes, she has pushed the humble Bhuj in Gujarat to working with Indian sari into every fashion- Santhal tribals in Jharkhand – conscious woman’s wardrobe. 

July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 51 Anavila’s spring- summer 2017 collection ‘Hello Spring’ takes breezy linens outdoors.

July 2017 52 | PERSONAL GROWTH Anavila’s latest collection is a tribute to all the elements of spring, marked by a clever colour scheme and use of florals on saris.

July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 53 Her signature fluid and easy drapes exude a free-spirited vibe.

July 2017 54 | PERSONAL GROWTH Besides her signature prints and patterns, Anavila has infused interesting patterns of leno stripes and ribbed checks and has used net- like weaves to create a sensual illusion.

July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 55 Hand-block printing has been Anavila’s signature from the past and this collection is also replete with delicate, summery block prints.

July 2017 56 | PERSONAL GROWTH

The collection does not only consist of saris, but there are light and easy separates too.

July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 57

The saris display an artistic use of delicate applique work against whites, off-whites, beige and greys.

Photographer: Manasi Sawant Hair and makeup: Kritika Gill Stylist: Nidhi Jacob

July 2017 58 | beauty

The ONLY five Things Your skin Needs This Summer When it comes to summer beauty, less is indeed more. Here’s how to look gorgeous when the heat and humidity touch an all-time high By Hansa Makhijani Jain

July 2017 beauty | 59 hen the temperature is Even smudge-proof kohl liners on the wrong side of have limitations at 45 degrees – the 30s and 40s (and and then there’s the humidity, we mean Celsius), and let’s not even talk about the Wlooking good and as fresh as a daisy pollution. So keep it light. can be a challenge for the best of Try: Maybelline Colossal Kajal us. Even celebs frequently need their makeup dada for a ‘touch-up’ 3. A Bright Matte Lipper between shots and at events. As Nothing livens up your face like a a beauty, makeup and spa junkie, pretty pink, soft coral, perky peach I can vouch after several years of or hot red on those summer days. going wrong with my products But remember to stick to matte that less is truly more at this time textured lipsticks and lip crayons; of the year. So clear your dresser you can save the gloss for winter. and keep these five things in easy Try: Kiko Milano Velvet Passion reach at all times to put your best Matte Lipstick in Warm Pink face forward when the heat and humidity ruin your makeup game. 4. A Stash of Blotting Paper Oil or sebum production can go 1. A Bloody Good Serum into overdrive in the summer Ever slathered your face with – even if you have dry skin. So your fave day cream on a hot control blotchy skin with some summer day only to have your handy blotting paper – it takes the skin reject it with sweat in the least space in your bag and can next five minutes? Just the thought even fit into your wallet! is disturbing. Nourish your skin Try: Oriflame Optimals Oxygen with a serum instead – it’s instantly Boost Face Blotting Tissues absorbed into the skin. If sun protection is a concern, follow it 5. A Lash-lengthening up with a matte sunscreen gel. If Waterproof Mascara you can’t do without coverage, try Not defining your peepers heavily a BB cream with sunscreen. doesn’t really mean bad news. Keep Try: Vichy Aqualia Thermal Dynamic your eye makeup game strong Hydration Power Serum by following up kohl with lash- lengthening waterproof mascara. 2. A Trusty Smudge-proof Kohl Avoid volumising lashes as they can PencIL often lead to clumpy lashes – and Line just the rim of your eyes (top that’s unforgivable. and bottom inner lash lines) and Try: Innisfree Skinny Waterproof avoid those heavily defined eyes. Microcara 

July 2017 60 | technology

Apps that make life Easier for Busy Women From groceries to waxing, here are the best apps that will bring the most essentials services to your doorstep – and make you thank God for technology!

e get it. You barely their prices are pretty reasonable even have the time to too. We’re impressed with the read this piece. There’s way these guys are growing and too much to do today, organising the unorganised sector; Wa hundred things on your mind, your phone’s constantly buzzing SALON SERVICES AT HOME with WhatsApp messages, work- related emails and Snapchat posts. There are so many options for Well, sometimes you have to invest salon services at home these days, in the right things now that pay one feels rather guilty about you back with more time (and ditching that ‘parlourwali’ who even money) later. And these apps came home to do your eyebrows promise to do so. while chit-chatting about recipes and in-laws. Today’s parlourwalis lifestyle Services use timers on smartphones and a suitcase with everything from Urban Clap: They are a ‘one-stop wax strips to electric pedicure destination for all urban lifestyle tubs. We’ve tried At Home Diva services’ and boast of thousands of (Quikr), Vanity Cube (VLCC) and professionals to take care of your Urban Clap, and found all their lifestyle needs, from yoga trainers services professional, well-priced to wedding photographers to and hygienic. There are plenty of electricians and party caterers. You offers too, so it works out cheaper will most likely find exactly what than visiting a salon. Even cheaper you’re looking for at any time, and than your old parlourwali.

July 2017 technology | 61 GROCERY SHOPPING in certain areas). But Amazon still doesn’t stock as many products Big Basket: This is your local as Big Basket, and offers no fresh sabzi mandi or neighbourhood produce. You’ll still need to head to market, except it’s in your phone. your sabzi mandi for that. These guys make you offers you Amazon Prime Now: Amazon cannot refuse, and we’re talking has also launched a two-hour discounts on everything from olive delivery service in certain oil to vegetables. They also give neighbourhoods by tying up with sweet discounts on larger orders. big local businesses in the vicinity. Here’s a tip: go for their expedited However, all products are not same-day delivery, which comes yet available – it may be easier with a nominal charge. The free to instead download your local business’s app or call them directly, and get your goods within one hour!

DINING IN Zomato: There are days you want to have nothing to do with cooking. That’s when Zomato comes to your rescue. With a huge variety of restaurants delivering to your doorstep, we’ve found their online ordering to be delivery is sometimes late and their very efficient and their deliveries fresh produce is stale by the time on time. We also appreciated you get it. their flexibility in payment Amazon Pantry: Your options during those dark days of delivery is sent in a box, which demonetisation, and their founder’s Amazon encourages you to fill fabulous response to the hacker up by showing you how much who broke into the company’s user percentage is still empty (but database. Such gestures do matter. don’t feel pressurised!). We love Swiggy: It works like a giant the 10% discount you get if you online menu card from hundreds spend more than Rs 1500, and the of eateries in your area, so you just 24-hour guaranteed delivery (it have to tick the right boxes and usually comes in less than 16 hours your dinner’s ready. Easy as pie. 

July 2017 62 | food eat shoot feed Food isn’t just fuel for the body, it’s a relationship – one can turn to food for comfort or for the joy of feeding others. A foodie shares her gastronomical romance Text and photographs by Ruchira Hoon am not a glutton. In fact, I don’t even eat that much. But I know that each time someone meets me, my size betrays me. I Iwon’t lie. I love food. Correction, I love good food. Food that makes me want to touch it, to smell it, to eat it and more so, to create something with it. The yearning for good food made me want to cook since I was almost nine years old. As a latch- key kid in Delhi, my sister and I would often have to eat things that my mom put together in a hurry before rushing off to work. Her experiments were hits and misses of sorts. Which is why the need to eat something I liked was very strong. I remember picking up that cheese knife from the drawer, cutting off a chunk from a tin of Amul cheese, and throwing it on to a hot tawa to melt, only so that I could mop it up with

July 2017 food | 63 some bread. It is, perhaps, the one dinner parties. By the time I was taste I have never forgotten. It was, 14, I’d ask my parents to sit back perhaps, that moment that changed and relax while I made a meal my life forever. Because ever since for them and their friends. At 17, then, I haven’t stopped cooking. when I moved to Chennai, I was I have had a very emotional making dinner every night for my relationship with food. It was family of six – which included my anchor through my parents’ my grandparents, my aunt, my divorce. It sibling and was what I step-mom, turned to plus we’d when I barely have friends passed my dropping boards and, as almost every a journalist for night, so I’d over a decade, always cook a I realised I little bit extra. turned to By 18, I could food writing make lasagna every time I from scratch found myself with my eyes lost. The one closed. By the thing that was time I was 20, constant was I was making that I loved five-course trying out meals for a new recipes. party of 20. Then I The more realised that I I cooked, didn’t have to the more eat to enjoy requests I’d food. Feeding get. Chocolate people was what actually gave cake, some would ask for. Mexican me pure joy. I love the looks on please, others would say. By the people’s faces when I feed them time I was married and had something unexpected. I love moved back to Delhi, the list the satisfaction of having cooked grew endlessly: quiches, desserts, something that someone actually Italian, Pan-Asian and – if it were likes. I live for those moments. up to my husband – fresh cream That’s why I started throwing pineapple cake every week. The

July 2017 64 | PERSONAL GROWTH Ruchira worked as a journalist for over a decade before the call of cooking and feeding people became too insistent to ignore

July 2017 food | 65 The sight of seasonal produce and new products on the shelves gets the juices in my brain running more I cooked, the more I learnt. The more I learnt, the more I wanted to feed people. It was a cycle I loved. At every party back home in Chennai, I’d be asked to make something special. My chocolate pudding pie and savoury galettes Ruchira Hoon are still top of the demand list there. I’ve savvied up so much Now at 37, I’m hyper organized that I now discuss the menu with when it comes to cooking. I know my family before I go to meet exactly how much time it’ll take them and carry all the tools and me to prep, cook and serve. Going equipment so I can give them a to the market is such fun for me. totally professional experience. The sight of seasonal produce and Okay, you get it now, I am new products on the shelves gets slightly obsessed with food. Which the juices in my brain running. is why the people who knew Peaches and mangoes in me pushed me to blog about my the summer, apples in the fall, experience. That was five years ago. strawberries in the winter – it’s as Since then I not only cook but also if I can’t catch up with the seasons. style, photograph, and then feed Peach crisps, apple pies, strawberry people what I make. Two years tarts – the thought that I can ago, I decided to switch careers make something new, something completely – from journalism to delicious, with these things keeps food. And today, I head a bakery me going. Cookbooks are my out of Gurugram that lets people nightcap, Pinterest my styling guru. eat all things I love. I also host pop- It’s pretty pictures of food that I fall ups at home, showcasing dishes asleep to each night – that’s what that I love cooking. gives me the sweetest dreams. 

July 2017 66 | recipes

SUMMER COOLERS Looking for a tasty twist to keep you cool this summer? Physiotherapist turned food stylist Shaheen Ali shares the recipes for her favourite cold beverages

hat do physiotherapy and cooking have in common? Well, the first was the W subject of Shaheen Ali’s Master’s degree, and the second is her all-consuming passion. Born in Rourkela, Odisha, to a mechanical engineer father from Rajasthan and a social activist mother from West Bengal, Shaheen grew up with an appreciation for a variety of cultures and cuisines. The family moved to Bhilai, Chhattisgarh, where Shaheen completed her schooling. She moved to Bhopal for college and post-graduation, and then married a banker there. “I practised physiotherapy for three or four years after marriage but I wasn’t happy. So I quit my job and decided to follow my passion – cooking! I set up a food blog in 2014 (www.spoonforkandfood.com), and gradually, food styling and photography became my profession,” says the 38-year-old mother of a young son. “I was born and raised in a gastronomic family where conversations revolve around food and cooking is most relied on approximation and eyeballing the ingredients or proportions,” smiles the foodie, who has recently moved to Bilaspur due to her husband’s job. “Cooking completes me; it’s not just a passion, it’s therapy for me.” Flip the pages to check out her simple, delightful summer cooler recipes.

July 2017 RECIPES | 67

ICED GOLDEN MILK LATTE

Ingredients: powder, ground ginger and black 2 cups almond milk or coconut milk pepper in a saucepan. Set it to 1/2 tsp turmeric powder heat on high and boil the mixture, 1/2 tsp cinnamon powder whisking frequently. 1/4 tsp ground ginger 2. Once it starts to boil, lower the 1 pinch black pepper powder heat for 3-5 minutes. 4 tbsp honey or maple syrup 3. Remove the pan from the heat, 1 tbsp vanilla extract and add in maple syrup or honey 2 cups ice cubes along with vanilla extract, and whisk again. Instructions: 4. Cool the golden milk and later 1. Whisk together the milk, store in the fridge up to 1 week. turmeric powder, cinnamon Serve chilled over a handful of ice. 68 | PERSONAL GROWTH

raw mango spiced chhaas

Ingredients: Instructions: 400 gms thick yoghurt 1. Take thick curd in a pitcher and add 2 raw mangoes (peel, grate and chopped coriander, ginger juice, raw squeeze the juice) mango juice, black salt, chaat masala, 3-4 drops ginger juice (peel, grate and few mint leaves and salt. Mix it well, squeeze the juice) and then add water and mix again. 1 tsp cumin 2. Refrigerate for 10-15 minutes. 4-5 black pepper corns 3. In a pan, dry roast the red chilli, 1 dry red chilli cumin and pepper corns, and cool. 1/2 tsp chaat masala Grind to make a dry powder. 1/2 tsp black salt 4. Add ½ to 1 tsp of spice powder in 1 sprig fresh coriander chopped the serving glass along with ice. 5-6 fresh mint leaves 5. Pour the cooled chhaas (spiced Salt to taste buttermilk) over the ice and stir. 2-3 cups distilled water 6. Garnish with spice powder and fresh mint leaves. Serve chilled.

July 2017 PERSONAL GROWTH | 69

pink lemonade

Ingredients: sugar dissolves completely. 600 ml water / soda 2. In a separate bowl, take 1 tbsp 4 tbsp lemon juice of water and some mint leaves and 6 - 7 tbsp sugar crush with a mortar. 2 pinch salt 3. Add the crushed mint extract to 2 tbsp rose syrup the lemonade and stir well. Then Mint - few fresh leaves add the rose syrup and stir again. 4 - 5 lemon slices 4. Pass the lemonade through a Pink rose petals (optional) sieve and collect it in a pitcher. Refrigerate. 5. Add some ice cubes in a glass, Instructions: and pour the pink lemonade into it. 1. In a large pan, add water, sugar, Garnish it with some lemon slices salt and lemon juice and stir till and fresh mint. Serve chilled!

July 2017 mango lemonade

Ingredients: Instructions: 2 cups fresh mango puree 1. Blend mango puree, lemon juice 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice and 2 cups of water; keep aside. 1/2 cup sugar – adjustable 2. Mix sugar in ½ cup of warm water 2.5 cups water till dissolved. Keep aside to cool. Ice cubes – a handful 3. Add in the sugar syrup to the Fresh mint leaves for garnish mango mix and stir well. 4. Garnish with fresh mint leaves and serve chilled. RECIPES | 71

watermelon cosmopolitan

Ingredients: 2 cups watermelon pieces 2 tbsp lemon juice 1 tsp chopped green chilli 8 - 10 mint leaves 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp black pepper powder 1 cup crushed ice Instructions: 1. Blend watermelon pieces (with or without seeds), lemon juice, mint leaves, finely chopped green chillies, salt and black pepper powder along with some crushed ice in a blender. 2. Strain the watermelon juice through a colander. Discard the extract. 3. Add 1 tbsp of lemon juice again and check the salt. The salt actually helps out in bringing the sweetness of the watermelon. 4. Take a martini glass and wipe a squeezed lemon on the rim to hold the garnish. 5. Now coat the rim with salt and black pepper and keep aside. 6. Pour the juice over crushed ice. Garnish with a mint leaf and serve chilled. 72 | BOOK OF THE MONTH HOT WOMEN ROCK Motivational writer and speaker Pat Duckworth’s latest book will give you an impetus to turn entrepreneur

or 32 years, Pat Duckworth worked in UK’s public and voluntary sector. By the time she was 50, she had an MBA Fand had risen to the dizzying rank of deputy director in the Senior Civil Service. But she also came to the realisation that she wasn’t happy. So she retired from work, and turned entrepreneur. In the the NLLs and to make sure they’re next five years, she set up a practice all aligned. “People who have delivering courses and workshops, well-aligned neurological levels are wrote three books, developed emotionally and mentally strong,” online programmes and was invited she writes. “Their values and as a speaker to five countries. beliefs support their identity. Their Her USP is inspiring people to behaviour helps them to develop follow their dreams. And her the capabilities and resources they latest book Hot Women Rock is all need to pursue their purpose. about helping them discover their When you meet them, you feel ‘midlife entrepreneurial mojo’. their purpose shining through. Using tools from neuro- They are totally congruent.” linguistic programming, the The book also features the book guides you through the six inspiring stories of 21 women who neurological levels (NLLs) that turned entrepreneur midlife. They guide and motivate human beings are heartening tales of struggle, in their day-to-day lives. These doubt and finally finding one’s go from environment, behaviour, true purpose. For those who think capabilities and resources, values something is ‘missing’ in their and beliefs, identity to finally one’s career and are seeking something spiritual purpose. Kay explains that more from life, this book may just to make effective changes in one’s tip you over the other side of your life, it makes sense to involve all mental boundaries. 

July 2017 BOOKS | 73

On the Bookshelf This is what the editor loved reading this month

The Windup Girl By Paolo Bacigalupi (Hachette India, Rs 395) This book was first published in 2009 but is still doing the rounds. For a reason. It’s a kind of George Orwell’s 1984 set in the distant, even more dystopian future. Strange viruses abound, bio-engineering has led to a spate of new crops and diseases, fossil fuels are unheard of. Then there’s the windup girl – an uncannily human-like robot trained to serve. Windups are not supposed to have souls, but one of them, Emiko, decides she wants a life. Her actions lead to unexpected consequences.

Brothers By Manju Kapur (Penguin Viking, Rs 599) Manju Kapur’s books move you deeply and leave you uncomfortable mostly because they’re so close to home. Her sixth novel Brothers begins with the story of Tapti Gaina, whose relationship status is definitely complicated – imagine being in love with your husband’s older brother. The book traces her husband’s family history from the time of the freedom struggle to the present day, when one brother kills the other. But over everything else, Brothers is an insightful sketch of the urban-rural divide and the uneasy coexistence of the two Indias.

Swing Time By Zadie Smith (Hamish Hamilton, Rs 599) Brought up in a middle-class British neighbourhood, the unnamed protagonist of this book is obsessed with her fellow brown friend Tracey, who dances like a dream. But our heroine has more noble aspirations – she wants to study, be an assistant to a legendary pop star, and help save children in Africa. Life, however, puts surprising lessons and people her way, and no matter how far she runs away from her past, it always manages to catch up. Yet another evocative read from Zadie Smith.

July 2017 74 | SCREENSHOT Blo by Blo Sargam Chopra, 37, New Delhi

grew up in a middle-class family in Abu Dhabi. After school, I my dad insisted on sending me to the US. Soon after, I got married at 23, and was told my husband would be “head of the family”. My main role would be to throw fancy Diwali dinners, keep a lovely home and raise two lovely children. Quite contrarily, I spent eight unsuccessful years trying to make a childless marriage work while still throwing Diwali dinners, hoping they would ignite some love and intimacy. They didn’t, so I walked out. Five more years of soul-search- ing followed. Finally, six months ago, I found the courage to pack up my life and move to Delhi. BLOBAR then came about: India’s first blow-dry bar that believes in the transformative power of a simple blowout. It was created out of a need to have a place for the ladies to hang out and exchange ideas. It is set up like a ‘bar’ to en- courage conversations. Bring a girlfriend or make a new one. Not everyone is meant to have a child to have something to nurture. There are other ways to leave behind a legacy. 

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