GOSSIP AND GRACE Sticks and Stones and . . . Words?
August 27, 2016
1 Colossians 3:16 (NKJV) • “Let the word of PREPARING Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and A. THE SOURCE hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 8:7 (NKJV) • “But as you abound in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, Colossians 4:6 (NKJV) • “Let your speech always in all diligence, and in your love for us—see that be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may you abound in this grace also.” know how you ought to answer each one.”
Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV) • “Let no corrupt word James 3:6 (NLT) • “And the tongue is a flame of proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupt- necessary edification, that it may impart grace ing your entire body. It can set your whole life to the hearers.” on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”
Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) • “Instead, speaking the B. WHAT’S TO BE SAID ABOUT truth in love, we will grow to become in every “GOSSIP AND GRACE” respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Gossip destroys lives. And teenagers are not exempt from its venom and pain. Actually, 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) • “Therefore en- during this emotionally charged time in their courage one another and build each other up, lives, teens seem to be more vulnerable to gos- just as in fact you are doing.” sip’s sting. Not only are they susceptible to gos- sip’s sting, but, many times, they are the ones Proverbs 12:18, 19 (NIV) • “The words of the who issue the bite. reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of Words have so much power that students the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure for- must realize that the words they carelessly ever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.” share cannot be taken back. It is virtually impos- sible to undo the damage that our mouths do. Psalm 15:2, 3 (NCV) • “Only those who are in- Furthermore, the damage compounds itself as nocent and who do what is right. Such people more people join in. speak the truth from their hearts and do not Gossip has been defined as the habitual tell lies about others. They do no wrong to their sharing of facts of a personal, sensational, or neighbors and do not gossip.” intimate nature. This definition doesn’t even concern itself with whether the information is
Lesson 9 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • 91
1 true or not. People often think it is OK to share themselves, using what they wrote in the intimate or personal information as long as they Monday section of their lesson. Be sure know it is true. But it isn’t our truth to tell. And to debrief them about any quotations that we don’t know how much harm our interference might not reflect the Christian life accu- may cause. We, as Christians, must show grace rately. However, quotations of this nature toward all people. That grace will be evident in do not occur in every lesson. the information we share, and the information 3. Review responses that they and others we encourage others not to share with us. made to the scenario that was posed on The Bible is clear that the only way we will Sunday. Discuss the variety of responses, be successful in this endeavor to curb gossip ending with thoughts from last week’s is if we give God control of our tongue and our What’s to Be Said About . . . in the teacher lives. We are called to step out, sometimes by lesson. ourselves, and not get soiled with dirt sharing. If you have a very large group, have adults available to process this section with smaller C. WHERE WE’RE GOING WITH groups of students. “GOSSIP AND GRACE” B. OTHER SABBATH SCHOOL As a result of this lesson we would like the COMPONENTS students to be able to: 1. Understand the power and permanence >> Song service that our words have. >> Mission emphasis (find a link for 2. Learn and apply principles with which to Adventist Mission for Youth and Adults weigh information to determine whether at www.realtimefaith.net) or not it is gossip. >> Service project reports 3. Commit to not sharing gossip (true or false) that would hurt someone. 3 BEGINNING D. MATERIALS NEEDED NOTE TO TEACHER: Put together your own pro- Beginning • (Activity A) a picture, four poster gram with options from the categories below— boards (or newsprint paper), markers; (Activity Beginning, Connecting, Applying, and Closing. B) Bible, paper, pens. Please keep in mind, however, that the students need to have an opportunity to be interactive Connecting • Bibles, student lessons. (participate actively and with one another) and to study from the Word. At some point you should Applying • Chalkboard or flipchart. distribute or call their attention to their student lesson for this week. 2 BRIDGING A. BEGINNING ACTIVITY
A. WHERE WE’VE BEEN BEFORE Get ready • Choose four volunteers.
Allow 10 minutes as students are arriving to: Get set • Have three leave the room, and show 1. Ask them which verse they chose to learn the remaining student a picture. from Wednesday’s section of their lesson. Give them opportunity to say their verses Go • That volunteer must copy it as best they from memory. can onto a piece of paper or poster board. When 2. Give the students opportunity to “quote” they have finished, allow one of the volunteers
92 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • Lesson 9 to come back in. Using only the first person’s Shana felt terrible. She had started a rumor picture as a guide, person two must copy it as about a girl she did not like in her school. Now, best they can. The next person must copy the the two of them were friends, and she felt bad second person’s picture, and the last person about what she did earlier. She racked her brain copies the third person’s picture. When they trying to think of a way to take back her words. have all finished, show the original picture and She had to stop this rumor. She knew she was the last person’s drawing. way in over her head, so she decided to get some advice from the wisest person she knew, Debriefing • Ask: In what ways are these two her grandmother. pictures similar? In what ways are they differ- “Grandma, you have got to help me,” Shana ent? How was this process similar to the way declared. “You’re my only hope! I’ve made a information is passed along? Compare the terrible mistake. I started a rumor, and now ev- results of both gossip and this game. How are eryone believes it. Please! You have to help me they similar? How are they different? undo my rumor.” “Rumors are nasty things,” Grandma an- B. BEGINNING ACTIVITY swered. “However, if you do as I tell you, the rumor will be erased from everyone’s mind.” Get ready • This game is like the old gossip game, Shana’s grandmother handed her a heavy except the students will be using Bible verses. bowl of bread pieces. “Take this bread and spread it on the path to town. Then tomorrow Get set • Have the students sit in small circles morning, go back to the path and pick up each or short rows (five to seven people). Give every- and every piece. When the last piece is in the one paper. bowl, the rumor will have vanished,” Grandma promised. Go • The first person should copy 1 Chronicles Shana struggled to carry the bowl. She took 2:18, 19 (or another difficult or not-so-familiar it to the path and dropped all the bread, piece verse) from the Bible and pass the verse and the by piece. When she was finished, she crawled pen to the next person. That person reads the home exhausted. verse, destroys the original, and rewrites it from As the sun set, a bird flew through the sky memory. That copy, along with the pen, is then looking for food. When it saw the bread on the passed to the next person, and each person path, the bird greedily gulped down every bite of follows the same procedure until the pen has bread and waddled home—too fat to fly. reached the end of the line. At the end of the Shana awoke in the morning and ran to the activity, read the verse from the Bible and then path to pick up the bread, but when she got the last person’s version of that verse. there, the bread was gone. Shana knelt on the bare ground and cried. Debriefing • Ask: In what ways are these That’s where Grandma found her. She knelt two passages similar? In what ways are they beside Shana and gently said: “There is no way different? What do you think might be some to stop a rumor. Once it has started, the vul- of the consequences if the story was told tures eat it up and fly it to parts unknown. The the way the last person wrote it instead of only way to stop a rumor is to not start it.” the truth? (People might start a rumor about who someone was married to, or who their Debriefing • Ask: In what ways do you agree mother was, etc.) How does this game relate with Shana’s grandmother? What “damage to gossip? control” can one do to deflate a rumor? Whom do our words hurt? Share a time C. BEGINNING ILLUSTRATION when you wished something could be taken back. In your own words, tell the following story:
Lesson 9 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • 93 4 got together and played a trick on him that re- CONNECTING sulted in a broken arm. His parents are angry and want all who were involved to be expelled. A. CONNECTING TO THE KINGDOM The problem is that nobody is talking. Up until now, the teachers didn’t even know all this Say: As special agents of the kingdom of was going on. You are called to the principal’s God, you must do some investigating before office. She tries to get information from you you start communicating. Whereas some about the prank and about everything else that kingdoms guard their gates or their trea- went on. “What have you heard?” she asks. sures, our King has asked us to guard our What do you do? mouths. He has issued a decree to give us counsel and guidelines on how to do this. Debriefing • Give students time to share their Let’s find out what those rules are. Have a first reactions and then ask the following: What volunteer find and read Philippians 4:8. was the principal asking for? (She asked what you heard, not necessarily what happened or what Say: Give an example of when and how you was true. She was, in essence, asking for gossip.) can use these rules in your kingdom commu- When is it right to gossip? (never) What is the nications. (When someone tells me something, difference between gossip and sharing infor- I ask if this is of “good report.” If it is not, I don’t mation? (It has to do with your intentions and the want to hear it. If the information is not true or context in which you share the information. If you pure, I don’t entertain it and I would tell the per- have bad intentions or if you are sharing informa- son who is trying to share it with me that I don’t tion at an inappropriate time or to people who want to hear it.) have no business with the information, it’s gossip.) When is the right time to share information B. CONNECTING TO THE LESSON and when is it inappropriate? (It is appropriate ILLUSTRATION to share information when someone is in danger or when someone who is in a position to help the Ask someone beforehand to read or tell the person needs the information to do so. It is inap- story from Sabbath’s section of the lesson. propriate to share personal and private information just to satisfy one’s curiosity.) What kingdom Ask: What does this story reveal about the rule(s) (taken from Philippians 4:8) would you effects of gossip and rumors? (If left un- use in this situation, to decide what to share checked, rumors and gossip can spread like with the principal? (Whatever things are true— wildfire. People can be so interested in juicy sharing not just hearsay but what you know to gossip, the truth is ignored.) Do you think have really happened. Whatever things are just— something like this could happen to you? you can share information to bring about justice.) Why or Why not? (Yes, because people still lie Does God give us any additional help in what and make up stuff. People still get caught up in to do in a sticky situation like this? rumors and accusing people with no grounds. Have students find and read the following It can ruin someone’s reputation so badly that texts: Exodus 23:1; Psalm 34:13; Colossians they lose everything.) 4:6; James 4:11. Have them share what princi- ple each verse gives about gossip. (Don’t be a C. CONNECTING TO LIFE false witness, tell the truth, let your answers be graceful, don’t judge or speak evil of one Pose the following scenario: another.) Say: Not only does God give us The school bully is being rushed to the hos- principles to live by but He also gives us His pital. After all these years of picking on people, strength to depend on to help bridle our he finally met his match. A group of students tongues and to give us wisdom on when to
94 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • Lesson 9 speak and what to say when we do. kingdom of God, we are called to a higher code of behavior. We must encourage and build one another up and tear down Satan’s 5 APPLYING kingdom, not other people.
A. APPLICATION ACTIVITY B. APPLICATION QUESTIONS
Get ready • On a chalkboard or flipchart cre- 1. What are some of the kingdom principles ate four columns. Over the first two columns God gives us concerning gossip? put a label consisting of a large plus sign. Over 2. How can we show others grace in the the second two columns place a label consist- things we say? ing of a large minus sign. Then, under those 3. How do your words have power? labels, label the four individual columns “Me,” 4. How can your words build up the king- “Someone else,” “Me,” “Someone else.” dom of God? 5. How can you determine the difference be- Get set • Have two or three volunteers at a time tween gossip and information? come up and write one thing in one of the col- 6. What are some things you could say to stop umns—either something positive toward others someone from sharing gossip with you? they have said or something they have heard someone else say, or something negative toward 6 others they have said or heard someone else say. CLOSING
Go • If two or three are working at a time there SUMMARY will not be quite as much attention drawn to what an individual writes. For the same reason, In your own words, conclude with the fol- keep people coming up and going back to their lowing ideas: seats rather quickly. As agents in God’s kingdom, we cannot oper- ate as everybody else does. While everyone else Debriefing • When you have quite a few things is reveling in lies, rumors, and the private busi- written on the chart, discuss. ness of others, we are to keep our minds focused on those things that are true, noble, just, pure, Ask: Was it easier to remember the positive lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy. things or negative things? Which type of We must recognize that our words have power, comment stayed in your memory longer? Did and we must use that power to build people up you tend to remember more negative things and to stop others from tearing people down. If other people had said, or you had said? What we do that, we will not live a life of regrets, yearn- about the positive things? What does this ing to take back words that have already done exercise tell us about the power of words? their damage. We know that this is a challenge, What changes might we want to make as a but we also know we do not have to work at this result of what we’ve observed here? alone. God promises, through His Holy Spirit, to help us in all our efforts of living for Him. Say: It is often the negative things that peo- Close by repeating Psalm 141:3 together: ple say to us and about us that stay with us. “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch The same effect negative words have on us, over the door of my lips” (NIV). they have on other people. As agents of the
Lesson 9 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • 95 STUDENT LESSON
GOSSIP AND GRACE Sticks and Stones and . . . Words?
August 27, 2016
>>KEY TEXT: Choose one of the texts from mentary. There were a lot of jokes at the teach- Wednesday’s section of the lesson. Write it here er’s expense. and memorize it this week. “Finally, the ‘student’ who had spoken up first and seemed to know the rules stood up ______and said, ‘Well, it has been 15 minutes but I’m not going to leave. In fact, I think I will stay and ______begin today’s class.’ ”
______APPLICATION Be careful what you say. God is always pres- ent, and He is listening. STICKS AND STONES “The mouths of fools are their undoing, AND . . . WORDS? and their lips are a snare to their very lives” (Proverbs 18:7, NIV). —Chris Horton, www.illustrationexchange. A student shares his experiences at the be- com ginning of a school year: “I was nervous my first day, and the tension Sunday continued to build as we all sat waiting for the HERE’S WHAT I THINK professor to arrive. It was deathly silent, and I watched the clock in front of the room a little David and Rachel had a big fight at lunch disappointed that the teacher was already five in the cafeteria right at your table. There were minutes late. not many people around because lunch had “Then one brave student spoke up, com- just started. You, however, were there, and you menting that we could leave after waiting for heard and saw everything. It was the biggest only 15 minutes. This sounded good to me. shock because everyone thought they would be It seemed that this broke the tension, and a together forever. Throughout the day both seem conversation took off from there. Another stu- to be near tears, but they are not talking—to dent asked if anyone knew anything about the each other or anyone else. You are the only one teacher, and there were numerous answers. who really knows what happened, so everyone Someone said that he was a hard grader; an- rushes to you to find out the truth. other commented that he was strict; one girl How do you decide what information, if any, said that she heard he gave an overabundance to share? Whom would you share it with? What of homework. There were numerous comments effect will your actions have on the situation? after that, and most were not very compli- Log on to www.guidemagazine.org/rtf to
96 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • Lesson 9 post your responses. Be up-front and honest. Tuesday Say what you think. SO WHAT?
Monday Have you ever stepped on an open tube of WHAT ARE THEY toothpaste and had its contents squirt all over? TRYING TO SAY? If you have, you know what a mess you had on your hands. This is a lot like squirting gossip all Read the quotations listed below and think over the place. Just as you can’t get the tooth- about how they connect to the topic of the paste back in the tube, you can’t take words lesson. Then write your own statement that back. Many times the damage is irreversible. reflects your position with regard to the Whether we own up to it or not, our words topic of the lesson. have power. Unfortunately, many times we use this power to hurt others. We have all been >>”Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to hurt by things people have said about us. We the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs also know that it doesn’t have to be a lie to be 16:24, NIV).—King Solomon. hurtful. In many cases, sharing the truth in the wrong situation can hurt just as much or more. >>”A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In James talks about the daunting task of con- settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11, NKJV).—King trolling our tongues. It takes both strength and Solomon. courage. It takes strength to keep our mouth shut and courage to tell others to shut their >>“I would go to the deeps a hundred times mouths when they come bearing juicy gossip. to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to Just think about it. If a classmate wanted to talk have been afflicted, that I might know how to about someone, and you suggested you not talk speak a word in season to one that is weary.”— about that person behind their back, you are Charles Spurgeon, 19th-century preacher. setting yourself apart as someone of integrity who can be trusted. >>“True Christians will not exult in exposing the This, however, is not a task you can handle faults and deficiencies of others. They will turn by yourself. You are going to have to get help, away from vileness and deformity, to fix the supernatural help from God. You are going mind upon that which is attractive and lovely. to have to ask Him continually to guard your To the Christian every act of faultfinding, every tongue and keep your mouth full of grace. word of censure or condemnation, is painful.” —Ellen G. White, 19th-century inspired writer and cofounder of the Wednesday Seventh-day Adventist Church. GOD SAYS . . .
Write your own quotation. >>Psalm 141:3 (NKJV) WHAT I SAY IS . . . “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” ______>>Proverbs 26:22 (Message) ______“Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you want junk like that in your belly?” ______>>Exodus 23:1 (NKJV) “You shall not circulate a false report. Do not put your hand with the wicked to be an unrigh- teous witness.”
Lesson 9 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • 97 >>Proverbs 20:19 (NCV) Thursday “Gossips can’t keep secrets, so avoid people WHAT DOES THIS who talk too much.” HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
>>Proverbs 16:28 (TLB) Why all this talk on gossip and words? “An evil man sows strife; gossip separates the Because some people are well into adulthood best of friends.” before they realize or understand the power that is caged behind their teeth. During this time of >>Psalm 34:12, 13 (NLT) exploration and discovery of who you really are, “Does anyone want to live a life that is long and you will find it will be a whole lot easier if you do prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speak- not get caught up in locker-room or lunch table ing evil and your lips from telling lies!” talk that will hurt others and also backfire and hurt you, too. >>Philippians 4:8 (NKJV) Every school, church, and town has a person “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, who is a big mouth. People do not feel comfort- whatever things are noble, whatever things are able around them, because they do not want just, whatever things are pure, whatever things to be the next “talk of the town.” As agents in are lovely, whatever things are of good report, God’s kingdom, we should be people others feel if there is any virtue and if there is anything comfortable and at ease around. If they are in praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” need of help, advice, or encouragement, they should know they can get a Christian perspec- >>Ephesians 5:4 (Message) tive from us and not have to worry about every- “Though some tongues just love the taste of gos- one else knowing their troubles. Trust, grace, sip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for and love in these matters can be a great tool to language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That recruit others to the kingdom! kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.”
>>James 4:11 (Message) “Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it.”
>>(More: Proverbs 26:18, 19.)
98 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • Lesson 9 Friday when someone said an upper to or about you— HOW DOES IT WORK? something that made you feel good. Write about these situations below, exploring (1) whether they Think of a time someone said something to or were true or not, (2) how they made you feel, (3) about you that was really a downer—something how long they have stuck in your memory, and/or that made you feel bad. Now, think of a time (4) any repercussions they may have had.
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After you have explored your memory, commit your thoughts and words to God by finding and re- peating aloud Psalm 141:3 and then Psalm 19:14.
Lesson 9 • August 27, 2016 - Gossip and Grace • 99