2020 R S R S

F F 2:00 – 3:30 PM L B- P S B 2:00 – 3:30 PM L B- P S B

3:45 – 4:45 PM E S 3:45 – 4:45 PM E S B’ E V - P D B B’ E V - P D B Faith Filled Finances Faith Filled Finances B V - E J V G B V - E J V G Outside Problems Coming In Outside Problems Coming In B E - P J M B E - P J M God’s Vision For Marital Inmacy God’s Vision For Marital Inmacy D V - P M B D V - P M B Work-Life Balance Work-Life Balance

5:00 – 6:30 PM S G’ W - E J V G 5:00 – 6:30 PM S G’ W - E J V G

6:30 PM D B D E 6:30 PM D B D E

S S 9:00 – 10:30 AM S G’ W (P 2) - E J V G 9:00 – 10:30 AM S G’ W (P 2) - E J V G

10:30 – 12:45 PM C-O L B 10:30 – 12:45 PM C-O L B

12:45 – 1:45 PM E S 12:45 – 1:45 PM E S 20/20 V - P P C 20/20 V - P P C Love and Respect Love and Respect F V - P M M F V - P M M Family Devoons Family Devoons H S - P K M H S - P K M Influencing the Generaons Behind You Influencing the Generaons Behind You I V - P N C I V - P N C When Sickness Hits Home When Sickness Hits Home

2:00-3:30 PM S G’ W (P 3) - E J V G 2:00-3:30 PM S G’ W (P 3) - E J V G Table of Contents Table of Contents

2021 C R A ...... 4 2021 C R A ...... 4

2020 C C R ...... 5 2020 C C R ...... 5

T P ...... 6-9 T P ...... 6-9

M H B C C ...... 10-11 M H B C C ...... 10-11

S N ...... 12-63 S N ...... 12-63 L B ...... 12-15 L B ...... 12-15 P S B P S B B’ E V ...... 16-18 B’ E V ...... 16-18 P D B P D B B V ...... 19-21 B V ...... 19-21 E J V G E J V G B E ...... 22-25 B E ...... 22-25 P J M P J M D V ...... 26-29 D V ...... 26-29 P M B P M B S G’ W ...... 30-33 S G’ W ...... 30-33 E J V G E J V G S G’ W ( 2) ...... 34-39 S G’ W ( 2) ...... 34-39 E J V G E J V G 20/20 V ...... 40-44 20/20 V ...... 40-44 P P C P P C F V ...... 45-47 F V ...... 45-47 P M M P M M H S ...... 48-53 H S ...... 48-53 P K M P K M I V ...... 54-57 I V ...... 54-57 P N C P N C

2 2 Table of Contents Table of Contents

S G’ W ( 3) ...... 58-63 S G’ W ( 3) ...... 58-63 E J V G E J V G

A N ...... 64-69 A N ...... 64-69

P M W F ...... 70-71 P M W F ...... 70-71

H ...... 72-86 H ...... 72-86

S T ...... 87-88 S T ...... 87-88

R C ...... 89-90 R C ...... 89-90

A K ...... 91-92 A K ...... 91-92

P C R R F ...... 93 P C R R F ...... 93

APPENDIX ...... 95 APPENDIX ...... 95

P I ...... 1 P I ...... 1

P C...... 2 P C...... 2

2021 S C ...... 3 2021 S C ...... 3

D ...... 4-10 D ...... 4-10

MP3 O F ...... 12 MP3 O F ...... 12

C I ...... 13-18 C I ...... 13-18

3 3 4 4 CHICAGO CHICAGO OCTOBER 16-17, 2020 OCTOBER 16-17, 2020 Sheraton Lisle Hotel Sheraton Lisle Hotel

Lisle, Illinois Lisle, Illinois

Featured Speaker: Featured Speaker: Dr. Sam Davison Dr. Sam Davison 5 5 Preachers Preachers

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Evangelist Jim Van Gelderen Evangelist Jim Van Gelderen Jim Van Gelderen was born into a pastor’s home Jim Van Gelderen was born into a pastor’s home and lived both in Durango, CO and the Chicago and lived both in Durango, CO and the Chicago area before going to college to study for the area before going to college to study for the ministry. He and his wife Rhonda were married in ministry. He and his wife Rhonda were married in 1984 aer graduate school and have been 1984 aer graduate school and have been traveling in Evangelism ever since. Bro. Van traveling in Evangelism ever since. Bro. Van Gelderen and his wife, have three daughters. He Gelderen and his wife, have three daughters. He began his ministry in South Carolina and moved to began his ministry in South Carolina and moved to Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin in 2000, where he Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin in 2000, where he presently lives and bases his ministry. During Jim’s presently lives and bases his ministry. During Jim’s college years The War concept was pioneered at college years The War concept was pioneered at Jim’s home church, the Marquee Manor Bapst Jim’s home church, the Marquee Manor Bapst Church in Downers Grove, IL, now one of the ministry’s supporng churches. In Church in Downers Grove, IL, now one of the ministry’s supporng churches. In 1996 their emphasis shied to the War of Special Forces which primarily is 1996 their emphasis shied to the War of Special Forces which primarily is conducted in Chrisan schools and the affiliated local church. He loves ministry to conducted in Chrisan schools and the affiliated local church. He loves ministry to teenagers and college students. Jim has been with the Minutemen Evangelisc teenagers and college students. Jim has been with the Minutemen Evangelisc Team since it began. In addion to his ministry with Minutemen Ministries, he Team since it began. In addion to his ministry with Minutemen Ministries, he also serves as VP of Bapst College of Ministry, a posion which he has held since also serves as VP of Bapst College of Ministry, a posion which he has held since 1999. BCM is a local church Bible college just outside of Milwaukee, WI. Since he 1999. BCM is a local church Bible college just outside of Milwaukee, WI. Since he grew up in Chicago, he pulls for both Chicago baseball teams as well as the grew up in Chicago, he pulls for both Chicago baseball teams as well as the Blackhawks in the NHL. Dunkin Donuts is his favorite stop for coffee when Blackhawks in the NHL. Dunkin Donuts is his favorite stop for coffee when traveling (except in Canada - then it’s Tim Horton’s). His favorite pasme is traveling (except in Canada - then it’s Tim Horton’s). His favorite pasme is spending family me with his wife and three daughters. spending family me with his wife and three daughters.

6 6 Preachers Preachers

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Pastor Steve Brudnak Pastor Steve Brudnak

Pastor Brudnak is the Pastor of United Bapst Church in Springfield, Pastor Brudnak is the Pastor of United Bapst Church in Springfield, Missouri. At the age of 7 he asked the Lord to save him, and at 15 he Missouri. At the age of 7 he asked the Lord to save him, and at 15 he surrendered to preach the Gospel of Christ. He began serving the surrendered to preach the Gospel of Christ. He began serving the Lord as a youth pastor in Michigan. In 1998, he pastored Calvary Lord as a youth pastor in Michigan. In 1998, he pastored Calvary Bapst Church in Charles City, Iowa, for 5 years. God then called him Bapst Church in Charles City, Iowa, for 5 years. God then called him to become the pastor of United Bapst Church in Springfield, MO. to become the pastor of United Bapst Church in Springfield, MO. He has a great burden to see marriages and homes strengthened He has a great burden to see marriages and homes strengthened through the only answer, Jesus! In the last 13 years he has led through the only answer, Jesus! In the last 13 years he has led United Bapst Church in the oversight of the Living United Couples United Bapst Church in the oversight of the Living United Couples Retreat. Pastor Brudnak has been blessed with his wife of 24 years, Retreat. Pastor Brudnak has been blessed with his wife of 24 years, Melissa. They have 3 sons, Josiah, Jeremiah, and Zachariah. Melissa. They have 3 sons, Josiah, Jeremiah, and Zachariah.

S P S P

Pastor Donnie Ball Pastor Donnie Ball

Don Ball is the pastor of the Tabernacle Bapst Church in Lebanon, Don Ball is the pastor of the Tabernacle Bapst Church in Lebanon, MO. He was raised in a pastor’s home in upstate New York for much MO. He was raised in a pastor’s home in upstate New York for much of his life. He was saved at the age of six and surrendered to full me of his life. He was saved at the age of six and surrendered to full me service while in the third grade. At the end of his tenth grade year he service while in the third grade. At the end of his tenth grade year he answered a call to preach. Aer high school he aended Bapst Bible answered a call to preach. Aer high school he aended Bapst Bible College in Springfield, MO. In January 1993, he was married to Kelly College in Springfield, MO. In January 1993, he was married to Kelly (Roberts) Ball. That same year he also accepted a posion on staff at (Roberts) Ball. That same year he also accepted a posion on staff at the Tabernacle Bapst Church. During the first eleven years of his the Tabernacle Bapst Church. During the first eleven years of his ministry there he was the principal of Tabernacle Chrisan Academy, ministry there he was the principal of Tabernacle Chrisan Academy, Sunday school superintendent, and the director of the church’s Sunday school superintendent, and the director of the church’s military ministry, the Free Day Away. On October 12, 2003, the church military ministry, the Free Day Away. On October 12, 2003, the church called him as pastor. Don and Kelly have one beauful daughter, Maggie, and three wonderful called him as pastor. Don and Kelly have one beauful daughter, Maggie, and three wonderful boys, Caleb, Stephen, and Ben. This year, the Ball’s were blessed with their first grandson, Clark. boys, Caleb, Stephen, and Ben. This year, the Ball’s were blessed with their first grandson, Clark.

7 7 Preachers Preachers

Pastor Mark Bradshaw Pastor Mark Bradshaw

Pastor Mark Bradshaw was born in Colorado and raised in the Denver Pastor Mark Bradshaw was born in Colorado and raised in the Denver area. He trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior in 1985. He and area. He trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior in 1985. He and his wife Mindy were married that same year. In 1990, he moved his his wife Mindy were married that same year. In 1990, he moved his family to Springfield, MO to aend Bapst Bible Graduate School of family to Springfield, MO to aend Bapst Bible Graduate School of Theology. For the next three years, he served as a Sunday school Theology. For the next three years, he served as a Sunday school teacher and worked in the nursing home ministry at Berean Bapst teacher and worked in the nursing home ministry at Berean Bapst Church in Springfield, MO. Pastor Bradshaw was called to be pastor of Church in Springfield, MO. Pastor Bradshaw was called to be pastor of Liberty Bapst Church in March 1993. The Bradshaw’s have 5 children Liberty Bapst Church in March 1993. The Bradshaw’s have 5 children and 4 beauful grandchildren. and 4 beauful grandchildren.

Pastor Paul Caldwell Pastor Paul Caldwell

Pastor Caldwell and his wife Chrisna have been married for 22 years. Pastor Caldwell and his wife Chrisna have been married for 22 years. They have 8 children and 2 grand children. Pastor Caldwell has They have 8 children and 2 grand children. Pastor Caldwell has pastored Lighthouse Bapst Church in Northwest Arkansas, for the pastored Lighthouse Bapst Church in Northwest Arkansas, for the past twelve years. past twelve years.

Pastor Noel Cwenar Pastor Noel Cwenar

Noel Cwenar has been pastoring Gospel Light Bapst Church in Noel Cwenar has been pastoring Gospel Light Bapst Church in Rogers, Arkansas, for years. He has served in the ministry Rogers, Arkansas, for thirteen years. He has served in the ministry for twenty-three years in Arkansas and Iowa as an assistant pastor, for twenty-three years in Arkansas and Iowa as an assistant pastor, youth director, and in Chrisan schools as a principal, teacher, and youth director, and in Chrisan schools as a principal, teacher, and coach. Pastor Cwenar and his wife Lucinda have been married coach. Pastor Cwenar and his wife Lucinda have been married twenty-three years and have two adult sons, Kyle and Cole. twenty-three years and have two adult sons, Kyle and Cole.

8 8 Preachers Preachers

Pastor Ma Marnez Pastor Ma Marnez

Pastor Ma Marnez was blessed to be brought up in a Chrisan Pastor Ma Marnez was blessed to be brought up in a Chrisan home, and at the age of four, called upon Jesus Christ to be his home, and at the age of four, called upon Jesus Christ to be his Savior. He surrendered to preach at the age of 16, at Silver State Savior. He surrendered to preach at the age of 16, at Silver State Bapst Youth Camp. In 2003, he graduated from Heartland Bapst Bapst Youth Camp. In 2003, he graduated from Heartland Bapst Bible College and in 2007 received a Master’s Degree in Biblical Bible College and in 2007 received a Master’s Degree in Biblical Counseling from Beth Haven Bapst Seminary. He and his wife Kae Counseling from Beth Haven Bapst Seminary. He and his wife Kae married on September 28, 2007. They have four children; Silas, married on September 28, 2007. They have four children; Silas, Caleb, Sarah and Levi, ranging in age from ten to three. Pastor Caleb, Sarah and Levi, ranging in age from ten to three. Pastor Marnez enjoys the unique privilege of pastoring the church he Marnez enjoys the unique privilege of pastoring the church he began aending as a twelve year old boy. began aending as a twelve year old boy.

Pastor Kevin Metsinger Pastor Kevin Metsinger

Pastor Kevin and Lucinda Metsinger have been married for 40 years Pastor Kevin and Lucinda Metsinger have been married for 40 years this June. Kevin has pastored the Shawnee Mission Bapst Temple this June. Kevin has pastored the Shawnee Mission Bapst Temple for 30 years this June. God blessed them with three boys, three for 30 years this June. God blessed them with three boys, three wonderful wives for those boys and 9 awesome grandchildren and 1 wonderful wives for those boys and 9 awesome grandchildren and 1 more coming in March. Pastor Metsinger has served on the Board of more coming in March. Pastor Metsinger has served on the Board of Directors for Heartland Bapst Bible College for 12 years and is Directors for Heartland Bapst Bible College for 12 years and is co-host of the Men’s Recharge. co-host of the Men’s Recharge.

Pastor Jeremiah Metsinger Pastor Jeremiah Metsinger

Pastor Metsinger studied at Heartland Bapst Bible College. Upon Pastor Metsinger studied at Heartland Bapst Bible College. Upon graduaon he and his wife Melissa, moved to Sioux Falls, SD to graduaon he and his wife Melissa, moved to Sioux Falls, SD to work with the youth, where they saw great change and growth in work with the youth, where they saw great change and growth in the teens. Aer a couple years of being there he was burdened to the teens. Aer a couple years of being there he was burdened to pastor, and began seeking direcon and further study. In August of pastor, and began seeking direcon and further study. In August of 2006 God led Pastor Metsinger and his family to South Knollwood 2006 God led Pastor Metsinger and his family to South Knollwood Bapst Church. Bro. Metsinger completed his Doctorate in Ministry Bapst Church. Bro. Metsinger completed his Doctorate in Ministry shortly following their move to Topeka. Bro. & Mrs. Metsinger shortly following their move to Topeka. Bro. & Mrs. Metsinger enjoy spending me with their three sons and daughter, and enjoy spending me with their three sons and daughter, and involving them in the work of South Knollwood. They are expecng involving them in the work of South Knollwood. They are expecng their fih child. their fih child. 9 9 Map of Hilton Map of Hilton

Exhibit Exhibit Hall Hall

Short Creek Short Creek Short Creek Short Creek Cooper Creek Cooper Creek 1-2 3-4 1-2 3-4

F S L F S L

D V (Pastor Mark Bradshaw) - Taneycomo Ballroom D V (Pastor Mark Bradshaw) - Taneycomo Ballroom

B’ E V (Pastor Donnie Ball) - Cooper Creek B’ E V (Pastor Donnie Ball) - Cooper Creek

B V (Evangelist Jim Van Gelderen) - Short Creek 1-2 B V (Evangelist Jim Van Gelderen) - Short Creek 1-2

B E (Pastor Jeremiah Metsinger) - Short Creek 3-4 B E (Pastor Jeremiah Metsinger) - Short Creek 3-4

N - Bee Creek & Roark Creek N - Bee Creek & Roark Creek 10 10 Map of Hilton Map of Hilton

Taneycomo Taneycomo Ballroom Ballroom

Bee Bee Creek Creek

Roark Creek Roark Creek

S S L S S L

20/20 V (Pastor Paul Caldwell) - Taneycomo Ballroom 20/20 V (Pastor Paul Caldwell) - Taneycomo Ballroom

F V (Pastor Ma Marnez) - Cooper Creek F V (Pastor Ma Marnez) - Cooper Creek

H S (Pastor Kevin Metsinger) - Short Creek 1-2 H S (Pastor Kevin Metsinger) - Short Creek 1-2

I V (Pastor Noel Cwenar) - Short Creek 3-4 I V (Pastor Noel Cwenar) - Short Creek 3-4

N - Bee Creek & Roark Creek N - Bee Creek & Roark Creek 11 11 Love is Blind Love is Blind PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK

Love Is Blind Love Is Blind Uncovering Your True Love Uncovering Your True Love Luke 14:25-35 Luke 14:25-35

Introducon Introducon

Choosing to be a disciple of Jesus is the best decision you can make for your Choosing to be a disciple of Jesus is the best decision you can make for your marriage! marriage!

I. Focus On ______(v. 26) I. Focus On ______(v. 26)

A. A Decision – “multude” vs. “disciple” A. A Decision – “multude” vs. “disciple”

This is not a half-hearted commitment, but as intense as “hate”, This is not a half-hearted commitment, but as intense as “hate”, “bear his cross”, and “forsaking all”. “bear his cross”, and “forsaking all”.

B. A Dis-Choice – “hate” B. A Dis-Choice – “hate”

“Hate” in this context is to prefer or choose above those things you “Hate” in this context is to prefer or choose above those things you “hate” “hate”

Takes away the blame game (Gen. 3:12-13) Takes away the blame game (Gen. 3:12-13)

C. A Downgrade – “come to me” C. A Downgrade – “come to me”

Everything on earth becomes less important—has less value. Everything on earth becomes less important—has less value.

The best focus we could have for life & marriage is on Jesus, not our The best focus we could have for life & marriage is on Jesus, not our spouse. spouse.

D. A Declaraon: My spouse is not the problem or soluon to my marriage. D. A Declaraon: My spouse is not the problem or soluon to my marriage.

12 12 Love is Blind Love is Blind PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK

II. Forgeng Yourself (v. 27) II. Forgeng Yourself (v. 27)

A. Taking ______A. Taking ______

B. Taking Him B. Taking Him

The world hates Jesus! (Jn. 15:18-25) The world hates Jesus! (Jn. 15:18-25)

The world and Jesus are not compable The world and Jesus are not compable Psa 97:10 Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls Psa 97:10 Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked. of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked. Psa 119:104 Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I Psa 119:104 Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way. hate every false way. Psa 119:113 I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love. Psa 119:113 I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love. Psa 139:21 Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am Psa 139:21 Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? Pro 8:36 But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all Pro 8:36 But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death. they that hate me love death.

C. Taking Responsibility - Rejecon of the World C. Taking Responsibility - Rejecon of the World

A failure to follow Jesus with your married life affects the world’s A failure to follow Jesus with your married life affects the world’s view of God. view of God. I Tim. 6:1. Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their I Tim. 6:1. Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed. doctrine be not blasphemed. Exo 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be Exo 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 2Sa 12:14a Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great 2Sa 12:14a Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme… occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme… Titus 2: 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient Titus 2: 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 1Pe 3:4-7 1Pe 3:4-7 Eph 5:28-32 - v. 29 “nourisheth and cherisheth it” Eph 5:28-32 - v. 29 “nourisheth and cherisheth it” 13 13 Love is Blind Love is Blind PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK

D. Take the Exit of the Crazy Hate ______! D. Take the Exit of the Crazy Hate ______! 1. Love – Respect 1. Love – Respect Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in parcular so love his Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in parcular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. husband. The biggest “If” / “Then” in human history The biggest “If” / “Then” in human history 2. Leading – Subming 2. Leading – Subming 1Co 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every 1Co 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. head of Christ is God. 3. Dwelling – Not Dwelling 3. Dwelling – Not Dwelling 1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to 1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, knowledge, Pro 21:9 It is beer to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with Pro 21:9 It is beer to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide . a brawling woman in a wide house. Pro 21:19 It is beer to dwell in the wilderness, than with a Pro 21:19 It is beer to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contenous and an angry woman. contenous and an angry woman. Pro 25:24 It is beer to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than Pro 25:24 It is beer to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. with a brawling woman and in a wide house. 4. Physical Inmacy – Purity 4. Physical Inmacy – Purity 1Co 7:3-5 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: 1Co 7:3-5 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a me, that ye ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a me, that ye may give yourselves to fasng and prayer; and come together may give yourselves to fasng and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your inconnency. again, that Satan tempt you not for your inconnency. 4. Providing – Plucking Down 4. Providing – Plucking Down 1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of 1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. infidel.

14 14 Love is Blind Love is Blind PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK PASTOR STEVE BRUDNAK

Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Pro 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish Pro 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. plucketh it down with her hands. Pro 31 Pro 31

III. Forsaking the ______(vs. 28-33) III. Forsaking the ______(vs. 28-33)

A. Intenons A. Intenons You will never change something because you intended to. You will never change something because you intended to. You no doubt want a good marriage, but you have to put in the You no doubt want a good marriage, but you have to put in the work. work. Danger of covetousness – Wanng something you don’t have Danger of covetousness – Wanng something you don’t have

B. Inventory B. Inventory You can’t fix a problem if you don’t know you have it. You can’t fix a problem if you don’t know you have it.  Illustraon: Stores keeping inventory  Illustraon: Stores keeping inventory Things you should have Things you should have Maybe find something you lost Maybe find something you lost Prove you have what you need Prove you have what you need Find loss Find loss For the stockholders (children) For the stockholders (children)

See Couples Inventory at the end of the book See Couples Inventory at the end of the book C. Iniaon C. Iniaon Make measurable to your acons. Make measurable changes to your acons. Change your process. Change your process. Conclusion Conclusion

Your true love must be Jesus, if not, you’re selling the person you love short. Your true love must be Jesus, if not, you’re selling the person you love short.

15 15 Bird’s Eye View Bird’s Eye View PASTOR DONNIE BALL PASTOR DONNIE BALL

Bird’s Eye View Bird’s Eye View Faith Filled Finances Faith Filled Finances Mahew 25:14-29 Mahew 25:14-29

I. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 14-15) I. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 14-15)

Note: We all have different financial management abilies and are trusted Note: We all have different financial management abilies and are trusted accordingly. accordingly.

A. ______of the ______A. ______of the ______

B. ______of the ______B. ______of the ______

II. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 16-18) II. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 16-18)

Note: We all manage finances in different ways Note: We all manage finances in different ways

A. The ______Stewards A. The ______Stewards

1. Their ______1. Their ______

2. Their ______2. Their ______

16 16 Bird’s Eye View Bird’s Eye View PASTOR DONNIE BALL PASTOR DONNIE BALL

B. The ______Steward B. The ______Steward

1. His ______1. His ______

2. His ______2. His ______

III. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 16-18) III. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 16-18)

A. Report of ______A. Report of ______

B. Report of ______B. Report of ______

IV. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 28-29) IV. The ______of Stewardship (vs. 28-29)

A. ______Stewards A. ______Stewards

1. Both were ______- Both were told, 1. Both were ______- Both were told, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful “Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the of thy lord.” into the joy of thy lord.”

2. Both were ______(one financially) 2. Both were ______(one financially)

B. ______Steward B. ______Steward

1. Master’s ______1. Master’s ______

2. Servant’s ______2. Servant’s ______17 17 Bird’s Eye View Bird’s Eye View PASTOR DONNIE BALL PASTOR DONNIE BALL

5 Praccal Principles of Stewardship 5 Praccal Principles of Stewardship

1. ______1. ______

2. ______2. ______

3. ______3. ______

4. ______4. ______

5. ______5. ______

18 18 Blurred Vision Blurred Vision EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

Blurred Vision Blurred Vision Outside Problems Coming In Outside Problems Coming In

I. Uncleansed Impurity I. Uncleansed Impurity

A. Impurity A. Impurity

I Thessalonians 4:3, 6 For this is the will of God, even your I Thessalonians 4:3, 6 For this is the will of God, even your sancficaon . . . That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in sancficaon . . . That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any maer: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we any maer: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and tesfied. also have forewarned you and tesfied.

1. Impurity is Out of Bounds – “go beyond” 1. Impurity is Out of Bounds – “go beyond”

2. Impurity is The – “defraud” 2. Impurity is The – “defraud”

B. Purity B. Purity

James 4:8 ...purify your hearts, ye doubleminded James 4:8 ...purify your hearts, ye doubleminded

1. Impurity allows there to be two or more in the inmacy God 1. Impurity allows there to be two or more in the inmacy God intended for marriage. intended for marriage.

2. Purity keeps all aspects of inmacy for one in the boundaries of 2. Purity keeps all aspects of inmacy for one in the boundaries of marriage. marriage. a. Physical Purity a. Physical Purity b. Mental Purity b. Mental Purity c. Emoonal Purity c. Emoonal Purity

19 19 Blurred Vision Blurred Vision EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

II. Covered Sin II. Covered Sin

Proverbs 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso Proverbs 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

A. The Covering – “He that covereth his sins” A. The Covering – “He that covereth his sins”

B. The Consequences – “shall not prosper” B. The Consequences – “shall not prosper”

C. The Cure – “whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” C. The Cure – “whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy”

1. Confess 1. Confess

2. Forsake 2. Forsake

III. Lingering Bierness III. Lingering Bierness

Hebrews 12:15-16 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; Hebrews 12:15-16 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bierness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be lest any root of bierness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau... defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau...

A. Fail the Grace of God – “lest any man fail of the grace of God” A. Fail the Grace of God – “lest any man fail of the grace of God”

1. Accessing Grace – Faith 1. Accessing Grace – Faith Eph. 2:8 “For by grace are ye saved through faith” Eph. 2:8 “For by grace are ye saved through faith”

2. Failing Grace - Doubt 2. Failing Grace - Doubt

B. Root of Bierness Springs Up – “lest any root of bierness springing up” B. Root of Bierness Springs Up – “lest any root of bierness springing up”

1. You are Troubled – “trouble you” 1. You are Troubled – “trouble you”

2. Others are Defiled – “many be defiled” 2. Others are Defiled – “many be defiled”

20 20 Blurred Vision Blurred Vision EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

C. Become a Fornicator or Profane Person – “Lest there be any fornicator, or C. Become a Fornicator or Profane Person – “Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person” profane person”

1. Moral Impurity – “fornicator” 1. Moral Impurity – “fornicator”

2. Spiritual Apathy – “profane person” 2. Spiritual Apathy – “profane person”

IV. Wrong Theology IV. Wrong Theology

A. Works Assurance A. Works Assurance

Heb. 3:14 For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the Heb. 3:14 For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end;” beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end;”

B. Works Sancficaon B. Works Sancficaon

John 15:5 ...without me ye can do nothing John 15:5 ...without me ye can do nothing

Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheth me. Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheth me.

21 21 Bedroom Eyes Bedroom Eyes PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER

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______22 22 Bedroom Eyes Bedroom Eyes PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER

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______23 23 Bedroom Eyes Bedroom Eyes PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER

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______24 24 Bedroom Eyes Bedroom Eyes PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER PASTOR JEREMIAH METSINGER

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______25 25 Double Vison Double Vison PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW

Double Vision Double Vision Work-Life Balance Work-Life Balance Luke 10:38-42 Luke 10:38-42

Introducon Introducon One of the most dangerous words in the Chrisan life is that of Balance. To One of the most dangerous words in the Chrisan life is that of Balance. To many this word smacks of compromise. To others it seems to be this always many this word smacks of compromise. To others it seems to be this always unobtainable goal. But balance is important, obtainable, and a worthy goal for unobtainable goal. But balance is important, obtainable, and a worthy goal for every believer and family! Balance requires that we: every believer and family! Balance requires that we:

I. ______A Relaonship (v. 38). I. ______A Relaonship (v. 38).

A. Jesus entered the city and Martha received Him into her house. A. Jesus entered the city and Martha received Him into her house. 1. This is the definion of relaonship. 1. This is the definion of relaonship. The Savior / Believer Relaonship The Savior / Believer Relaonship The Husband / Wife Relaonship (Gen. 24:67) The Husband / Wife Relaonship (Gen. 24:67) 2. An “individual” does not need balance because they only do as they 2. An “individual” does not need balance because they only do as they please! please!

B. Jesus warns us that choices must be made when entering a relaonship B. Jesus warns us that choices must be made when entering a relaonship with Him (Luke 14:25-33). Decisions that affect: with Him (Luke 14:25-33). Decisions that affect: 1. Your Priories (v. 26) 1. Your Priories (v. 26) 2. Your Perseverance (vs. 27-30) 2. Your Perseverance (vs. 27-30) 3. Your Plan of Aack (vs. 31-33) 3. Your Plan of Aack (vs. 31-33)

26 26 Double Vision Double Vision PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW

C. We make a similar covenant when we get married! C. We make a similar covenant when we get married!

1. Pastor to Groom -- ______, will you have ______to be 1. Pastor to Groom -- ______, will you have ______to be your wedded wife, to live together aer God's ordinance in the holy your wedded wife, to live together aer God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony; will you love her, comfort her, honor, and keep estate of matrimony; will you love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live? only unto her, so long as you both shall live?

2. Pastor to Bride -- ______, will you have ______to be 2. Pastor to Bride -- ______, will you have ______to be your wedded husband to live together aer God's ordinance in the your wedded husband to live together aer God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony; will you submit to him, serve him, love, holy estate of matrimony; will you submit to him, serve him, love, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live? others, keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live?

II. ______Your Priories (v. 39; Eph. 4:13-16). II. ______Your Priories (v. 39; Eph. 4:13-16).

A. Priories are the things or ideals that you value most. A. Priories are the things or ideals that you value most.

1. Martha valued a nice home, happy guests and service. 1. Martha valued a nice home, happy guests and service.

2. Mary valued inmacy with the Lord (Mt. 6:32-33). 2. Mary valued inmacy with the Lord (Mt. 6:32-33).

3. ILL: Rocks, gravel, sand and clay. 3. ILL: Rocks, gravel, sand and clay.

B. Without priories you will be unstable and direconless (Eph. 4:14). B. Without priories you will be unstable and direconless (Eph. 4:14).

1. Charlatans take advantage of this in people and churches (2 Tim. 3:1 1. Charlatans take advantage of this in people and churches (2 Tim. 3:1 -7). -7).

2. Mature Chrisans know you must stand for what is important (Eph. 2. Mature Chrisans know you must stand for what is important (Eph. 6:10-13). 6:10-13).

27 27 Double Vison Double Vison PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW

C. God helps to guide our priories! C. God helps to guide our priories!

1. Love God (Dt. 6:5-7) 1. Love God (Dt. 6:5-7)

2. Love Others (Mk 12:29-31) 2. Love Others (Mk 12:29-31) Love Your Spouse (Eph. 5:25; Tit. 2:4) Love Your Spouse (Eph. 5:25; Tit. 2:4) Love Your Children (Ex 21:5) Love Your Children (Ex 21:5) Love the Brethren (1 Jn 4:7-11) Love the Brethren (1 Jn 4:7-11) Love the Lost (Jn 3:16; Jude 21-23). Love the Lost (Jn 3:16; Jude 21-23).

III. ______That Which Hinders Your Priories (v. 40). III. ______That Which Hinders Your Priories (v. 40).

A. Both Martha and Mary made a choice (v. 42). A. Both Martha and Mary made a choice (v. 42).

1. Martha’s choice lead to frustraon and an inability to enjoy her 1. Martha’s choice lead to frustraon and an inability to enjoy her blessings! blessings!

2. Mary’s choice: 2. Mary’s choice: Was commended by the Lord himself! Was commended by the Lord himself! Ended up leading to greater blessings and fruiulness (Mark Ended up leading to greater blessings and fruiulness (Mark 14:3-9). 14:3-9).

B. How should you Eliminate Hinderances? B. How should you Eliminate Hinderances?

1. Don’t Compromise! Compromising means both sides lose! 1. Don’t Compromise! Compromising means both sides lose!

2. Make Choices! 2. Make Choices! We chose Church Camp and VBS over Baseball. We chose Church Camp and VBS over Baseball. We chose Home Schooling over Football and played Soccer We chose Home Schooling over Football and played Soccer instead. instead. We choose to make Sunday dinner instead of eang out. We choose to make Sunday dinner instead of eang out. I had to choose what hobbies to pursue. I had to choose what hobbies to pursue. 28 28 Double Vision Double Vision PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW PASTOR MARK BRADSHAW

IV. ______Balance (vs. 41-42). IV. ______Balance (vs. 41-42).

A. Hopefully, you will enjoy the praise of a pleased Savior! A. Hopefully, you will enjoy the praise of a pleased Savior!

B. Hopefully you will also enjoy! B. Hopefully you will also enjoy!

1. Sweet Marriage 1. Sweet Marriage

2. Closeness with your children and grandchildren 2. Closeness with your children and grandchildren

3. Fruiulness in your Chrisan service 3. Fruiulness in your Chrisan service

Conclusion Conclusion

John Paul Gey was one of the richest men in the world when he died. Shortly John Paul Gey was one of the richest men in the world when he died. Shortly before that he said that he would trade half of his fortune for one true friend. before that he said that he would trade half of his fortune for one true friend. Work is important. Making a living is vital. But remember that God has Work is important. Making a living is vital. But remember that God has promised to meet your needs (Mt 6:25-34). At the end of the day a balanced life promised to meet your needs (Mt 6:25-34). At the end of the day a balanced life means you need to do without some things. Make sure you value what is truly means you need to do without some things. Make sure you value what is truly important and experience the blessings too few enjoy! important and experience the blessings too few enjoy!

29 29 Seeing God’s Way Seeing God’s Way EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

Seeing God’s Way (Part I) Seeing God’s Way (Part I) The Symptoms of Giving Ground to Satan The Symptoms of Giving Ground to Satan

Introducon Introducon Eph. 4:17 This I say therefore, and tesfy in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not Eph. 4:17 This I say therefore, and tesfy in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Genles walk, in the vanity of their mind. as other Genles walk, in the vanity of their mind. The book of Ephesians exhorts the readers to walk a certain way several mes. The book of Ephesians exhorts the readers to walk a certain way several mes. In this text God tells them (and us) to “walk not” specifically “as other Genles In this text God tells them (and us) to “walk not” specifically “as other Genles walk.” They were saved, but they had (as we do) the awful possibility of walking walk.” They were saved, but they had (as we do) the awful possibility of walking like Genles (unsaved) walk. If they did, there were some stunning like Genles (unsaved) walk. If they did, there were some stunning consequences and there was something desperately wrong. Many mes this consequences and there was something desperately wrong. Many mes this comes from giving Satan ground. comes from giving Satan ground. Symptom: Worthlessness – Do you struggle at mes with feeling like you are Symptom: Worthlessness – Do you struggle at mes with feeling like you are worthless? worthless?

I. Access to Life is Separated I. Access to Life is Separated

Eph. 4:18 “. . . being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance Eph. 4:18 “. . . being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:” that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:”

A. Through Ignorance A. Through Ignorance

B. Through Blindness B. Through Blindness How? Occurs through Rejecon of Truth How? Occurs through Rejecon of Truth Illustraon: The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay! What is Illustraon: The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay! What is your heart made of?! your heart made of?!

30 30 Seeing God’s Way Seeing God’s Way EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

Symptoms: Symptoms:

Insecurity – Do you struggle thinking about what other people think Insecurity – Do you struggle thinking about what other people think about you? Do you wonder about how you fit in to your world? Do about you? Do you wonder about how you fit in to your world? Do you deal with fears in your life? you deal with fears in your life?

Struggle with Trusng – Do you struggle with trusng other people? Struggle with Trusng – Do you struggle with trusng other people? God? God?

Addicve Video – Do you spend mes playing video games Addicve Video Games – Do you spend mes playing video games that should be used in more profitable way? Are you up past that should be used in more profitable way? Are you up past midnight playing video games? midnight playing video games?

Excessive Social Media – Do you spend too much me on social Excessive Social Media – Do you spend too much me on social media? Do you think about it at mes you are not on it? media? Do you think about it at mes you are not on it?

Overeang – Do you eat more than you should to make you feel Overeang – Do you eat more than you should to make you feel beer? beer?

Excessive and/or Inappropriate Media – Do you see things via media Excessive and/or Inappropriate Media – Do you see things via media that are inappropriate? Do you watch media when there are more that are inappropriate? Do you watch media when there are more pressing things to do? pressing things to do?

Drug/Alcohol Addicons – Do you turn to prescripon drugs, Drug/Alcohol Addicons – Do you turn to prescripon drugs, alcohol, or illegal drugs to cope with life? alcohol, or illegal drugs to cope with life?

II. Ability to Reason is Darkened II. Ability to Reason is Darkened

Eph. 4:18 “Having the understanding darkened,” Eph. 4:18 “Having the understanding darkened,”

A. What? Understanding is our Ability to Reason A. What? Understanding is our Ability to Reason

31 31 Seeing God’s Way Seeing God’s Way EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

B. How? Understanding is Darkened by An Outside Agent B. How? Understanding is Darkened by An Outside Agent

1. Occurs through Rejecon of Light 1. Occurs through Rejecon of Light Illustraon: A step toward the opening of a cave brings more light, Illustraon: A step toward the opening of a cave brings more light, less darkness. A step away from the opening brings more darkness less darkness. A step away from the opening brings more darkness and less light. and less light.

2. Occurs through Decepon of Satan 2. Occurs through Decepon of Satan

Symptoms: Symptoms:

Performance – Do you feel like you must “perform” Performance Acceptance – Do you feel like you must “perform” before people will accept you? before people will accept you?

Unwise in Decisions – Do you purchase thing you really don’t need Unwise in Decisions – Do you purchase thing you really don’t need and the purchase puts financial pressure on you? and the purchase puts financial pressure on you?

Tendency to Tangents – Do you go on theological or polical Tendency to Tangents – Do you go on theological or polical tangents? Are you known for conspiracy theories? Do you lean tangents? Are you known for conspiracy theories? Do you lean toward being dogmac over theological minuae? toward being dogmac over theological minuae?

Unfulfilled in Life – Do you have an underlying lack of fulfillment out Unfulfilled in Life – Do you have an underlying lack of fulfillment out of life? of life?

Disobedient in the Home – Are you consistently disobedient to clear Disobedient in the Home – Are you consistently disobedient to clear commands in regard to responsibilies in the home (Husbands, love; commands in regard to responsibilies in the home (Husbands, love; wives, reverence)? wives, reverence)?

Lack of submission – Do you struggle with a lack of submission Lack of submission – Do you struggle with a lack of submission toward God-given authories in your life? Do you reject leadership toward God-given authories in your life? Do you reject leadership aer a perceived or real failure in their lives or leadership? aer a perceived or real failure in their lives or leadership?

Run from Problems – Do you run away from tension, problems, Run from Problems – Do you run away from tension, problems, relaonship deterioraon? Do you have a track record of leaving relaonship deterioraon? Do you have a track record of leaving instead of resolving? instead of resolving?

32 32 Seeing God’s Way Seeing God’s Way EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

III. Addicon to Filth is Realized III. Addicon to Filth is Realized

Eph. 4:19 “Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto Eph. 4:19 “Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.” lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.”

How? Occurs through Rejecon of Convicon How? Occurs through Rejecon of Convicon

Symptoms: Symptoms:

Sexual Sin: Pornography, Fornicaon, Adultery – Have you engaged Sexual Sin: Pornography, Fornicaon, Adultery – Have you engaged in sexual sin? Do you look at pornography, sensual images or videos? in sexual sin? Do you look at pornography, sensual images or videos? Have you lost “control”? Have you lost “control”?

Erozed Wound – Does your wound find expression in an area of Erozed Wound – Does your wound find expression in an area of moral failure? moral failure?

Live with Shame – Do you feel like something is wrong with you? Is Live with Shame – Do you feel like something is wrong with you? Is there something you have done or was done to you that causes you there something you have done or was done to you that causes you to feel like you are “defecve”? to feel like you are “defecve”?

Destroy Your Soul – Do others noce that you are detached? You Destroy Your Soul – Do others noce that you are detached? You have a hard me connecng with others? have a hard me connecng with others?

Conclusion Conclusion

This is the way the lost live, but the saved can end up like them. That is why This is the way the lost live, but the saved can end up like them. That is why there is this exhortaon not to walk this way. there is this exhortaon not to walk this way.

God clearly does not want to live this way which means there is a way out! God clearly does not want to live this way which means there is a way out!

33 33 Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

Seeing God’s Way (Part II) Seeing God’s Way (Part II) The Way of Giving Satan Ground The Way of Giving Satan Ground

Introducon Introducon

Why do many Chrisans find themselves walking in the vanity of their mind. The Why do many Chrisans find themselves walking in the vanity of their mind. The answers are found in Ephesians 4:25-31. The one that screams at us today is answers are found in Ephesians 4:25-31. The one that screams at us today is found in Ephesians 4:26-27. We give ground to Satan. It is from that ground that found in Ephesians 4:26-27. We give ground to Satan. It is from that ground that he constantly aacks and defeats us. This is oen first manifested in the home he constantly aacks and defeats us. This is oen first manifested in the home and primarily in marriage. We cannot take the ground back unl we know how and primarily in marriage. We cannot take the ground back unl we know how he got the ground. he got the ground.

Eph. 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Eph. 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Neither give place to the devil.

I. We are Provoked – “Be ye angry” I. We are Provoked – “Be ye angry”

Eph. 4:26 “Be ye angry” Eph. 4:26 “Be ye angry”

A. Father Wounds A. Father Wounds

Quote: “The vast majority of men I have counseled who struggle with sexual Quote: “The vast majority of men I have counseled who struggle with sexual issues have father wounds in their souls.” Ted Roberts issues have father wounds in their souls.” Ted Roberts

Proverbs 7:25-27 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in Proverbs 7:25-27 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. chambers of death.

34 34 Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

1. Angry Father 1. Angry Father Eph. 6:4 And ye father, provoke not your children to wrath: Eph. 6:4 And ye father, provoke not your children to wrath: Problem: He says things that oen define a child’s view of himself. Problem: He says things that oen define a child’s view of himself. The unpredictability of his anger may cause the child to have The unpredictability of his anger may cause the child to have trauma and develop anxiety. Oen the child becomes angry as trauma and develop anxiety. Oen the child becomes angry as well. well. 2. Absent Father 2. Absent Father Exodus 22:22 Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. Exodus 22:22 Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. Psalm 68:5 A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is Psalm 68:5 A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitaon. God in his holy habitaon. Problem: He has le and oen reinforces the rejecon by his Problem: He has le and oen reinforces the rejecon by his words and acons. words and acons. 3. Passive Father 3. Passive Father I Thessalonians 2:11 As ye know how we exhorted and comforted I Thessalonians 2:11 As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, Problem: He is there and he provides, but he is not involved in a Problem: He is there and he provides, but he is not involved in a parent/child relaonship parent/child relaonship 4. Permissive Father 4. Permissive Father I Samuel 3:13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever I Samuel 3:13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. themselves vile, and he restrained them not. Problem: May be a good father, but he does not love enough to Problem: May be a good father, but he does not love enough to say, “No.” say, “No.” 5. Demanding Father 5. Demanding Father Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonion of the Lord. but bring them up in the nurture and admonion of the Lord. Problem: He gives no affirmaon, but has perfeconisc Problem: He gives no affirmaon, but has perfeconisc expectaons which result in cricism of any failure. expectaons which result in cricism of any failure. 35 35 Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

B. Mother Wounds B. Mother Wounds

1. Absence of Nurture 1. Absence of Nurture I Thessalonians 2:7-8 But we were gentle among you, even as a I Thessalonians 2:7-8 But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children: So being affeconately desirous of nurse cherisheth her children: So being affeconately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us. God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us. Problem: She does not have a nurturing spirit toward her children. Problem: She does not have a nurturing spirit toward her children. They do not feel cherished and nurtured. They do not feel cherished and nurtured.

2. Absence of Time 2. Absence of Time Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child le to Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child le to himself bringeth his mother to shame. himself bringeth his mother to shame. Problem: She does not spend me with her children. This could be Problem: She does not spend me with her children. This could be for a variety of reasons. It could be selfish, but it could be because for a variety of reasons. It could be selfish, but it could be because she is aempng to survive aer a divorce. she is aempng to survive aer a divorce.

3. Absence of Safety 3. Absence of Safety Mahew 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the Mahew 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how oen prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how oen would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! Problem: Because of her selfishness she puts her children in Problem: Because of her selfishness she puts her children in precarious situaons. precarious situaons.

4. Absence of Submission 4. Absence of Submission Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Problem: She lacks a submissive atude toward her husband and Problem: She lacks a submissive atude toward her husband and the father of her children. the father of her children.

36 36 Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

B. Spouse Wounds B. Spouse Wounds

1. Embiered Husband 1. Embiered Husband Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bier against Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bier against them. them. Problem: He has chosen to harbor bierness against his wife for Problem: He has chosen to harbor bierness against his wife for her wrongs, failings or weaknesses and does not uncondionally her wrongs, failings or weaknesses and does not uncondionally love her. love her.

2. Disrespecul Wife 2. Disrespecul Wife Eph. 5:33 . . . and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Eph. 5:33 . . . and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Problem: She has chosen to be disrespecul toward her husband Problem: She has chosen to be disrespecul toward her husband instead of reverencing him despite his lack of love. instead of reverencing him despite his lack of love.

C. Other Wounds C. Other Wounds

1. Others 1. Others Mahew 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offences! For it must Mahew 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offences! For it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! offence cometh!

2. Myself 2. Myself Psalm 38:4-5 For mine iniquies are gone over mine head: as an Psalm 38:4-5 For mine iniquies are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me. My wounds snk and are heavy burden they are too heavy for me. My wounds snk and are corrupt because of my foolishness. corrupt because of my foolishness.

II. We are Angry – “Be ye angry, and sin not” II. We are Angry – “Be ye angry, and sin not”

III. We are Passive – “...let not the sun go down upon your III. We are Passive – “...let not the sun go down upon your wrath” wrath”

37 37 Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

IV. We are Defeated – “Neither give place to the devil” IV. We are Defeated – “Neither give place to the devil”

A. Unhealed Hurts – Are there hurul events of the past that sll hurt? A. Unhealed Hurts – Are there hurul events of the past that sll hurt?

B. Selfishness – Do you take or give? B. Selfishness – Do you take or give?

Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. have to give to him that needeth.

C. Hurul Words – Do you say things that tear people down? C. Hurul Words – Do you say things that tear people down?

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communicaon proceed out of your Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communicaon proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. minister grace unto the hearers.

D. Grieved Holy Spirit – Do you find yourself geng angry on a regular basis? D. Grieved Holy Spirit – Do you find yourself geng angry on a regular basis? Do you resent someone? Do you resent someone?

Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redempon. sealed unto the day of redempon.

E. Anger/Bierness – Do you experience the ministry of the Holy Spirit in your E. Anger/Bierness – Do you experience the ministry of the Holy Spirit in your life? life?

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bierness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, Ephesians 4:31 Let all bierness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

F. Unforgiveness – Is there anyone you struggle with forgiving? F. Unforgiveness – Is there anyone you struggle with forgiving?

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. you.

38 38 Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) Seeing God’s Way (Part 2) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

G. Feeling Unloved/Not Loving – Do you oen feel like you are unlovable? Do G. Feeling Unloved/Not Loving – Do you oen feel like you are unlovable? Do you have a hard me expressing love? you have a hard me expressing love?

Ephesians 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath Ephesians 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. sweetsmelling savour.

H. Moral Failure – Do you struggle with moral areas of your life? H. Moral Failure – Do you struggle with moral areas of your life?

Ephesians 5:3 But fornicaon, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, Ephesians 5:3 But fornicaon, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

39 39 20/20 Vision 20/20 Vision PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL

20/20 Vision 20/20 Vision Love & Respect Love & Respect Ephesians 5:32-33 Ephesians 5:32-33

Marriage Navigaon Marriage Navigaon

Eph 5:32-33 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Eph 5:32-33 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in parcular so love his wife even church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in parcular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I. Introducon I. Introducon

A. Myths about marriage A. Myths about marriage

1. My Spouse Is ______for My Happiness 1. My Spouse Is ______for My Happiness a. The truth is, only abiding in Christ can give you true, connual joy. a. The truth is, only abiding in Christ can give you true, connual joy. b. In John 15:11 Jesus told us, “These things have I spoken unto you, b. In John 15:11 Jesus told us, “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.”

2. My Spouse Can/Will ______All of My Needs 2. My Spouse Can/Will ______All of My Needs a. If you believe this, you create a controlled dependency. a. If you believe this, you create a controlled dependency. b. In Psalm 62:5 David looked to the Lord to fill his soul needs: “My b. In Psalm 62:5 David looked to the Lord to fill his soul needs: “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectaon is from him.” soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectaon is from him.”

3. My Spouse Will Give Me ______(Who You Are) 3. My Spouse Will Give Me ______(Who You Are) and ______(Why You Maer) and ______(Why You Maer) a. Only God can provide a sure foundaon for these needs. a. Only God can provide a sure foundaon for these needs.

40 40 20/20 Vision 20/20 Vision PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL

b. It is only as you understand that you are “accepted in the b. It is only as you understand that you are “accepted in the beloved” (Ephesians 1:6) and “complete in Him” (Colossians 2:10) beloved” (Ephesians 1:6) and “complete in Him” (Colossians 2:10) that you will have true security and understand the significance that you will have true security and understand the significance Christ gives. Christ gives.

B. Marriage is a precious gi from God. B. Marriage is a precious gi from God.

1. And God did intend for it to be a mutually giving relaonship in 1. And God did intend for it to be a mutually giving relaonship in which both husband and wife encourage, help, and edify one which both husband and wife encourage, help, and edify one another. another.

2. A joyful, full Chrisan marriage is one in which both husband and 2. A joyful, full Chrisan marriage is one in which both husband and wife seek their fulfillment in Christ and, from that fullness, give to wife seek their fulfillment in Christ and, from that fullness, give to one another. one another.

II. Discussion II. Discussion

A. Understanding the other A. Understanding the other

1. Introductory thought: 1. Introductory thought: a. One of the greatest modern myths is that there are no essenal a. One of the greatest modern myths is that there are no essenal differences between men and women. differences between men and women. b. This is unbiblical, unreasonable, and dangerous to your marriage. b. This is unbiblical, unreasonable, and dangerous to your marriage. 1) God made men and women different, both physically and 1) God made men and women different, both physically and emoonally, and He commanded husbands to take note: emoonally, and He commanded husbands to take note: 2) “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, 2) “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

2. Think Different 2. Think Different a. Men think in terms of ______a. Men think in terms of ______• Men need to be loved, but it is through the lens of respect that they • Men need to be loved, but it is through the lens of respect that they understand it understand it

41 41 20/20 Vision 20/20 Vision PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL

b. Women think in terms of ______b. Women think in terms of ______• Women also need respect, but it is through the lens of love that • Women also need respect, but it is through the lens of love that they understand it they understand it c. The brains of men and women develop differently. c. The brains of men and women develop differently. d. There are obvious advantages and disadvantages to both. d. There are obvious advantages and disadvantages to both. 1) A man can usually tell you exactly why he believes something. 1) A man can usually tell you exactly why he believes something. 2) Women don’t “show their work” but oen come to the right 2) Women don’t “show their work” but oen come to the right conclusion by intuion—their brain is working faster than they can conclusion by intuion—their brain is working faster than they can explain. explain. e. To see the difference in focus, watch one spouse have a phone e. To see the difference in focus, watch one spouse have a phone conversaon while the other is listening. conversaon while the other is listening.

3. Feel Different 3. Feel Different Because of the way God made them, men base their significance Because of the way God made them, men base their significance upon their achievements, while women are more centered on upon their achievements, while women are more centered on relaonships. relaonships.

4. Affirmaon & Soluons 4. Affirmaon & Soluons a. Aer reading the differences between how men and women think a. Aer reading the differences between how men and women think and feel, you can see conflict coming like an oncoming train — and feel, you can see conflict coming like an oncoming train — predictable and unrelenng. predictable and unrelenng. b. Primarily, men want to fix problems, and women want to affirm b. Primarily, men want to fix problems, and women want to affirm people. people. c. Women have their own expectaons to “improve” their husbands. c. Women have their own expectaons to “improve” their husbands. d. Maybe it’s me to quit trying to change each other and decide to d. Maybe it’s me to quit trying to change each other and decide to love and respect love and respect

5. Sayings & Meanings 5. Sayings & Meanings a. Figuring out what to say is a challenge for men and women. a. Figuring out what to say is a challenge for men and women. b. Knowing how to say it is the next obstacle. b. Knowing how to say it is the next obstacle. c. Women speak more from their emoons, while men speak in c. Women speak more from their emoons, while men speak in literal facts literal facts d. The gap between men and women is wide, but not in-passible. d. The gap between men and women is wide, but not in-passible. 42 42 20/20 Vision 20/20 Vision PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL

B. Marriage Advice B. Marriage Advice

1. For Men 1. For Men a. ______a. ______b. Noce the details b. Noce the details c. Ask her counsel c. Ask her counsel d. Appreciate her moves d. Appreciate her moves e. Offer support e. Offer support f. Accept her as she is f. Accept her as she is

2. For Ladies 2. For Ladies a. Don’t give unsolicited advice: a. Don’t give unsolicited advice: b. Don’t make him talk: b. Don’t make him talk: c. Be clear: c. Be clear: d. ______it: d. ______it: e. Put things in perspecve for your spouse. e. Put things in perspecve for your spouse. f. Accept him as he is. f. Accept him as he is.

C. Staying in love C. Staying in love

1. Don’t Sweat the ______Stuff 1. Don’t Sweat the ______Stuff

2. End Each Day With a Clean Slate 2. End Each Day With a Clean Slate

3. ______3. ______

4. Express Your Love 4. Express Your Love

“Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.” “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.” Song of Solomon 8:7a Song of Solomon 8:7a

43 43 20/20 Vision 20/20 Vision PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL PASTOR PAUL CALDWELL

D. The key to an irresisble marriage D. The key to an irresisble marriage

“Be kindly affeconed one to another with brotherly love; in honour “Be kindly affeconed one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;” Romans 12:10 preferring one another;” Romans 12:10

“For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.” for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.” Galaans 5:13 Galaans 5:13

____________Eph 5:21 Subming yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Eph 5:21 Subming yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

III. Conclusion III. Conclusion

A. Just plane hard work! A. Just plane hard work!

B. But a good work B. But a good work

C. Be not weary in well doing C. Be not weary in well doing

Gal 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we Gal 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. shall reap, if we faint not.

D. How hard we work to love and respect our spouse is a live tesmony to D. How hard we work to love and respect our spouse is a live tesmony to God's love for the world God's love for the world

What does the world see?! What does the world see?!

44 44 Family Vision Family Vision PASTOR MATT MARTINEZ PASTOR MATT MARTINEZ

Family Vision Family Vision Family Devotions Family Devotions Genesis 18:19 Genesis 18:19

Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household aer him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do jusce and household aer him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do jusce and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. him.

I. A Biblical ______of Family Devoons I. A Biblical ______of Family Devoons

A. The Biblical of devoon A. The Biblical meaning of devoon

1. While we are under no Biblical obligaon to call our me with God 1. While we are under no Biblical obligaon to call our me with God “devoons,” it is interesng to consider the Biblical definion of devoon “devoons,” it is interesng to consider the Biblical definion of devoon and its link to what we ought to be in our relaonship to God. and its link to what we ought to be in our relaonship to God.

2. The word means, “…the exclusion of an object from the use or abuse of a 2. The word means, “…the exclusion of an object from the use or abuse of a man and its irrevocable surrender to God…surrendering something to God man and its irrevocable surrender to God…surrendering something to God meant devong it to service of God or pung it under a ban for uer meant devong it to service of God or pung it under a ban for uer destrucon.” destrucon.”

3. Both our personal and family devoons should be a me when we 3. Both our personal and family devoons should be a me when we ______ourselves from the “use or abuse of man” and give ______ourselves from the “use or abuse of man” and give ourselves completely to God, while confessing our sins to Him for “uer ourselves completely to God, while confessing our sins to Him for “uer destrucon.” destrucon.”

45 45 Family Vision Family Vision PASTOR MATT MARTINEZ PASTOR MATT MARTINEZ

B. The Biblical mandate to teach and train children B. The Biblical mandate to teach and train children

1. The Bible makes it very clear that the responsibility to teach and train 1. The Bible makes it very clear that the responsibility to teach and train children is primarily the responsibility of the . children is primarily the responsibility of the parents. a. Deuteronomy 6:4-7 a. Deuteronomy 6:4-7 b. Deuteronomy 11:18-21 b. Deuteronomy 11:18-21 c. Malachi 2:15 c. Malachi 2:15 d. Ephesians 6:4 d. Ephesians 6:4

2. While the church also plays a role in teaching the Word of God, it is limited 2. While the church also plays a role in teaching the Word of God, it is limited in a few ways. in a few ways. a. Time – In a best case scenario, 5 hours of church a week is not enough a. Time – In a best case scenario, 5 hours of church a week is not enough to accomplish all that work that needs to happen in the life of a child. to accomplish all that work that needs to happen in the life of a child. b. Influence – By its very nature, the home will typically have more b. Influence – By its very nature, the home will typically have more influence on a child than the church. A child will rarely take what they influence on a child than the church. A child will rarely take what they are hearing at church to heart, if they are not also hearing it at home. are hearing at church to heart, if they are not also hearing it at home.

C. The goal of family devoons is to have a consistent, inmate me before God C. The goal of family devoons is to have a consistent, inmate me before God as a family, where God’s Word is ______and the family as a family, where God’s Word is ______and the family further devotes itself to God’s purposes. further devotes itself to God’s purposes.

II. A Basic ______for Family Devoons II. A Basic ______for Family Devoons

A. Every family devoon should consist of some basic elements A. Every family devoon should consist of some basic elements 1. Bible reading 1. Bible reading 2. Story or applicaon 2. Story or applicaon 3. Prayer 3. Prayer

B. Plan to ______and to get going again B. Plan to ______and to get going again

46 46 Family Vision Family Vision PASTOR MATT MARTINEZ PASTOR MATT MARTINEZ

C. Some praccal principles C. Some praccal principles 1. Understand your family 1. Understand your family 2. Start at infancy 2. Start at infancy 3. Grow as you go 3. Grow as you go 4. Be consistent 4. Be consistent 5. Ask quesons to teach 5. Ask quesons to teach 6. Brevity is not your enemy 6. Brevity is not your enemy 7. Encourage whole family parcipaon 7. Encourage whole family parcipaon 8. Remove distracons 8. Remove distracons 9. Change it up 9. Change it up

III. Some Blessed ______of Family Devoons III. Some Blessed ______of Family Devoons A. Promotes family salvaons A. Promotes family salvaons B. Promotes family health B. Promotes family health 1. Family devoons provide a consistent family check-up 1. Family devoons provide a consistent family check-up 2. Use the me to address the small issues that can cause big problems 2. Use the me to address the small issues that can cause big problems down the road down the road 3. Recognize and praise the good things that are happening within the 3. Recognize and praise the good things that are happening within the family family C. Promotes family love. To children love is spelled ______. C. Promotes family love. To children love is spelled ______. Invesng daily me with your family before God shows your children you Invesng daily me with your family before God shows your children you love them and will create strong, spiritual, lasng bonds. love them and will create strong, spiritual, lasng bonds.

Conclusion: Conclusion: ______47 47 Hind Sight Hind Sight PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER

Hind Sight Hind Sight Influencing the Generations Behind You Influencing the Generations Behind You Titus 2:1-6 Titus 2:1-6

Introducon Introducon Titus 2:1-6 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2That the Titus 2:1-6 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in paence. aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in paence. 3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not 3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 6 Young men likewise husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. exhort to be sober minded. Mentoring ought to be done with the Pastor approval. I personally think that he Mentoring ought to be done with the Pastor approval. I personally think that he ought to ask you to mentor someone else. ought to ask you to mentor someone else. The idea of mentoring is found throughout the Bible. We could say that it is a The idea of mentoring is found throughout the Bible. We could say that it is a Bible Principle. Bible Principle. There is an old proverb that says: There is an old proverb that says: If you are planng for a year, plant grain. If you are planng for a year, plant grain. If you are planng for a decade, plant trees. If you are planng for a decade, plant trees. If you are planng for a century, plant people. If you are planng for a century, plant people. As Believers we are planng for Eternity. As Believers we are planng for Eternity. Families desnies can be changed forever with the Word of God. Families desnies can be changed forever with the Word of God. We define a ______as a We define a ______as a relavely happy, more experienced couple purposefully invesng in another relavely happy, more experienced couple purposefully invesng in another couple to effecvely navigate a journey that they have already taken. couple to effecvely navigate a journey that they have already taken. What is a mentor? What is a mentor? 48 48 Hind Sight Hind Sight PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER

Here’s a pop quiz queson: Here’s a pop quiz queson:

A mentor is… A mentor is… 1. And Modeler 1. And Modeler 2. An Encourager 2. An Encourager 3. And Imparter of knowledge 3. And Imparter of knowledge 4. All the above 4. All the above The answer is 4 a mentor may wear many different hats but the one thing that The answer is 4 a mentor may wear many different hats but the one thing that all mentors share his ability to listen and encourage. all mentors share his ability to listen and encourage. A marriage mentoring relaonship can be short term or long term. It can be A marriage mentoring relaonship can be short term or long term. It can be consistent and predictable or spontaneous and sporadic. consistent and predictable or spontaneous and sporadic. While every marriage mentoring relaonship has its own style that unfolds as While every marriage mentoring relaonship has its own style that unfolds as the relaonship develops, some potenal confusion can be spared if the the relaonship develops, some potenal confusion can be spared if the mentors and mentorees discuss their inial expectaons of the relaonship. mentors and mentorees discuss their inial expectaons of the relaonship. For example you may want to discuss whether you see yourselves more as For example you may want to discuss whether you see yourselves more as models or as coaches or as teachers or his guides, and so on. models or as coaches or as teachers or his guides, and so on. The Bible tells us about mentoring in Titus 2:1-6. The Bible tells us about mentoring in Titus 2:1-6.

I. Aged ______and Aged ______(vs. 2-3) I. Aged ______and Aged ______(vs. 2-3) A. Aged - Older A. Aged - Older 1. To be a mentor means that you have to have something to share 1. To be a mentor means that you have to have something to share 2. Becoming old gives us knowledge in the Word if we have studied it 2. Becoming old gives us knowledge in the Word if we have studied it all our years, and it provides us with examples of both good and bad. all our years, and it provides us with examples of both good and bad. B. These verses go on to tell us that there are some requirements for Aged B. These verses go on to tell us that there are some requirements for Aged Men Men 1. Be Sober 1. Be Sober a. Vigilant a. Vigilant b. Watchful over themselves, their conduct, and conversaon b. Watchful over themselves, their conduct, and conversaon 49 49 Hind Sight Hind Sight PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER

2. ______2. ______a. "Gravity" or "dignified seriousness" ought indeed to characterize a. "Gravity" or "dignified seriousness" ought indeed to characterize Chrisan demeanor in general, as in I Ti. 2:2 above. ISBE Chrisan demeanor in general, as in I Ti. 2:2 above. ISBE b. Grave; in their behaviour, speech, and dress; levity of b. Grave; in their behaviour, speech, and dress; levity of conversaon, frothy language, and airy dress, are very conversaon, frothy language, and airy dress, are very unbecoming aged persons unbecoming aged persons

3. Temperate 3. Temperate a. Self-Control a. Self-Control b. Discreet b. Discreet

4. Sound in the faith, in charity, in paence 4. Sound in the faith, in charity, in paence a. Though they may be unhealthful in their bodies, and become a. Though they may be unhealthful in their bodies, and become decrepit through age, they should be sound in their minds decrepit through age, they should be sound in their minds b. In the doctrine of faith, lest they should lead others into error b. In the doctrine of faith, lest they should lead others into error c. Their love to God, to Christ, and to his people, should be real and c. Their love to God, to Christ, and to his people, should be real and sincere sincere

5. Young Men (v. 6) 5. Young Men (v. 6)

Aged men are to exhort them to be sober minded Aged men are to exhort them to be sober minded

C. Aged Women C. Aged Women

1. Behaviour as becometh ______1. Behaviour as becometh ______a. "holy women” a. "holy women” b. Sancfied by the Spirit of God b. Sancfied by the Spirit of God c. Such ought to be in their clothing, and in their speech, and in c. Such ought to be in their clothing, and in their speech, and in the whole of their conduct and conversaon, as become the the whole of their conduct and conversaon, as become the character which they bear, and the profession they make: character which they bear, and the profession they make:

50 50 Hind Sight Hind Sight PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER

2. Not False Accusers 2. Not False Accusers a. Of the brethren a. Of the brethren b. And sisters b. And sisters c. Not raising false reports c. Not raising false reports d. Bringing false charges against members of churches d. Bringing false charges against members of churches e. And so making differences and divisions among them e. And so making differences and divisions among them

3. Not given to much wine 3. Not given to much wine a. Serving it a. Serving it b. Or being enslaved by it b. Or being enslaved by it

4. Teachers of good things 4. Teachers of good things a. By example and by instrucon a. By example and by instrucon b. Not of old wives' fables, of supersous customs, rites, and b. Not of old wives' fables, of supersous customs, rites, and ceremonies, of the intrigues of love, and of things filthy and ceremonies, of the intrigues of love, and of things filthy and obscene obscene c. But of things that are solid and substanal, useful and improving, c. But of things that are solid and substanal, useful and improving, honest and honourable, chaste and pure. honest and honourable, chaste and pure.

5. That they may teach the young ______: 5. That they may teach the young ______: a. Be Sober a. Be Sober 1) Be chaste, modest, and temperate 1) Be chaste, modest, and temperate 2) To be wise and prudent in their conduct to their husbands 2) To be wise and prudent in their conduct to their husbands b. Love their Husbands b. Love their Husbands 1) To help and assist them all they can 1) To help and assist them all they can 2) To honour 2) To honour 3) To endeavor to please them in all things 3) To endeavor to please them in all things 4) To secure peace, harmony, and union 4) To secure peace, harmony, and union c. To love their children c. To love their children 1) To seek their physical, spiritual and eternal welfare 1) To seek their physical, spiritual and eternal welfare 2) To bring them up in the nurture and admonion of the Lord 2) To bring them up in the nurture and admonion of the Lord 3) And to use and keep proper discipline 3) And to use and keep proper discipline 51 51 Hind Sight Hind Sight PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER

II. What is a marriage mentor? II. What is a marriage mentor?

Note: This point was taken from: The Complete Guide to Marriage Note: This point was taken from: The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring by Drs. Les & Leslie Parre Mentoring by Drs. Les & Leslie Parre

Willing to share what you know (in a non-compeve way) Willing to share what you know (in a non-compeve way)

Represents skill, knowledge, virtue, and accomplishment Represents skill, knowledge, virtue, and accomplishment

Takes a personal and hearelt interest in the other couples development Takes a personal and hearelt interest in the other couples development and well-being and well-being

Offers support, challenge, paence, and enthusiasm while helping other Offers support, challenge, paence, and enthusiasm while helping other couples couples

Points the way and represents tangible evidence of what another couple Points the way and represents tangible evidence of what another couple can be can be

Exposes the recipients of their mentoring to Godly ideas, perspecves, and Exposes the recipients of their mentoring to Godly ideas, perspecves, and standards standards

Has more experse in terms of knowledge yet the views themselves as Has more experse in terms of knowledge yet the views themselves as equal to those they mentor equal to those they mentor

The point is that each marriage mentor couple needs to consider what it is The point is that each marriage mentor couple needs to consider what it is that they want to bring to the mentoring relaonship. This means that they want to bring to the mentoring relaonship. This means considering you're two personalies and traits. Importantly, it also means considering you're two personalies and traits. Importantly, it also means being clear about what your role as a mentor couple does not include. being clear about what your role as a mentor couple does not include.

52 52 Hind Sight Hind Sight PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER PASTOR KEVIN METSINGER

II. A Mentor is Not: II. A Mentor is Not:

Note: This point was taken from: The Complete Guide to Marriage Note: This point was taken from: The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring by Drs. Les & Leslie Parre Mentoring by Drs. Les & Leslie Parre

In-Law. Your job is not to parent the couple you are mentoring. In-Law. Your job is not to parent the couple you are mentoring.

A New buddy. Your job is not necessarily to be friends for the purpose of A New buddy. Your job is not necessarily to be friends for the purpose of socializing. socializing.

“On call” for every lile crisis. “On call” for every lile crisis.

Not commied long-term. Not commied long-term.

A professor. Your life experience is your teaching tool. A professor. Your life experience is your teaching tool.

I know it all. Your job is not to have all the answers. I know it all. Your job is not to have all the answers.

Conclusion Conclusion

____________

References: References: • The Bible King James Version • The Bible King James Version • ISBE • ISBE • Dr. John Gill notes on Titus • Dr. John Gill notes on Titus • The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring by Drs. Les & Leslie Parre • The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring by Drs. Les & Leslie Parre

53 53 Impaired Vision Impaired Vision PASTOR NOEL CWENAR PASTOR NOEL CWENAR

Impaired Vision Impaired Vision When Sickness Hits Home When Sickness Hits Home

Introducon Introducon

“…to have and to hold, from this day forward, for beer, for worse, for richer, for “…to have and to hold, from this day forward, for beer, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…” poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…”

When we said our wedding vows most of us assumed there would be more days When we said our wedding vows most of us assumed there would be more days of health than days of sickness. If there were days of sickness they would be of health than days of sickness. If there were days of sickness they would be toward the end of life and not a main component of our lives together. toward the end of life and not a main component of our lives together. However, for some of us God has given us a season of illness and for others it’s a However, for some of us God has given us a season of illness and for others it’s a calling. Our aim today is to equip and encourage both the spouse who is ill and calling. Our aim today is to equip and encourage both the spouse who is ill and the spouse who helps carry that burden. the spouse who helps carry that burden.

I. Develop a Healthy ______. I. Develop a Healthy ______.

There are many quesons that plague the minds of those who suffer illness. There are many quesons that plague the minds of those who suffer illness. Why is this happening to me? When will it go away? Am I damaging my Why is this happening to me? When will it go away? Am I damaging my marriage and my children? Am I being punished? marriage and my children? Am I being punished?

It isn’t wrong to ask “why.” Even Jesus himself uered that queson on the It isn’t wrong to ask “why.” Even Jesus himself uered that queson on the cross, from which he received the answer of silence from heaven. So why is cross, from which he received the answer of silence from heaven. So why is there illness? there illness?

A. Because of the ______-- Genesis 2 A. Because of the ______-- Genesis 2

B. Because of ______in their life –I Peter 4:1-2 B. Because of ______in their life –I Peter 4:1-2

C. Because there is a Satanic Aack --Job C. Because there is a Satanic Aack --Job

D. Because it is the way God moves people from earth to heaven—II Cor 5:8 D. Because it is the way God moves people from earth to heaven—II Cor 5:8 54 54 Impaired Vision Impaired Vision PASTOR NOEL CWENAR PASTOR NOEL CWENAR

E. Because it is a way for the glory of God to be manifested in your life - John E. Because it is a way for the glory of God to be manifested in your life - John 11:4 11:4

F. Because it is your ______- Luke 9:23 F. Because it is your ______- Luke 9:23

“Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, not his parents: but that the “Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, not his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” John 9:2 works of God should be made manifest in him.” John 9:2

“The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the “The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.” Proverbs 16:4 day of evil.” Proverbs 16:4

There are two ways in which the Lord can get glory in our health struggles. There are two ways in which the Lord can get glory in our health struggles. One is to heal you and the other is to supply you with ______One is to heal you and the other is to supply you with ______your struggles. ______your struggles.

“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelaons, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of revelaons, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8 For this thing I Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmies, that the weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmies, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” II Corinthians 12:7-9 power of Christ may rest upon me.” II Corinthians 12:7-9

II. Develop Healthy ______. II. Develop Healthy ______.

Family Family

Don’t let your health be the main topic of daily conversaon Don’t let your health be the main topic of daily conversaon

Be careful of the negave impact on children Be careful of the negave impact on children

Take advantage of good days Take advantage of good days

Keep romance alive Keep romance alive

Help your family see the blessings Help your family see the blessings

55 55 Impaired Vision Impaired Vision PASTOR NOEL CWENAR PASTOR NOEL CWENAR

Friends Friends

Don’t burn them out Don’t burn them out

They should be encouraged by their me with you They should be encouraged by their me with you

Allow some help when appropriate Allow some help when appropriate

Have a friend you can be transparent with Have a friend you can be transparent with

Finances Finances

Learn to live frugally Learn to live frugally

Let doctors know that your money is ght Let doctors know that your money is ght

Don’t be afraid to shop around with medical expenses. Don’t be afraid to shop around with medical expenses.

Tax write-off’s Tax write-off’s

Offer to negoate prices Offer to negoate prices

Faith Faith

Be thankful for it Be thankful for it

Pray for others who suffer Pray for others who suffer

Let the Lord sancfy you Let the Lord sancfy you

Study the life of others who have suffered well. Study the life of others who have suffered well.

56 56 Impaired Vision Impaired Vision PASTOR NOEL CWENAR PASTOR NOEL CWENAR

III. Develop Healthy ______. III. Develop Healthy ______.

“Who comforteth us in all our tribulaon, that we may be able to comfort “Who comforteth us in all our tribulaon, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” II Corinthians 1:4 comforted of God.” II Corinthians 1:4

Not one speck of adversity touches your life that God doesn’t know about. Not one speck of adversity touches your life that God doesn’t know about. God has allowed it, God has permied it, God had limited it, and God has God has allowed it, God has permied it, God had limited it, and God has designed it to bring himself glory. designed it to bring himself glory.

We may not like Gods plan, but He is more interested in receiving glory than We may not like Gods plan, but He is more interested in receiving glory than He is our comfort. He is our comfort.

God has not called you and I to walk around the trial but through the trial. God has not called you and I to walk around the trial but through the trial. God’s goal has and always will be to make you more like Jesus. God’s goal has and always will be to make you more like Jesus.

God is using this to sancfy you. God is using this to sancfy you.

You have the opportunity to idenfy with Christ-- Philippians 3:10 You have the opportunity to idenfy with Christ-- Philippians 3:10

Opportunies to witness Opportunies to witness

Your children can watch God work in your lives Your children can watch God work in your lives

We learn to endure hardness--2 Tim 2:3 We learn to endure hardness--2 Tim 2:3

Learn contentment- laugh and cry Learn contentment- laugh and cry

57 57 Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

Seeing God’s Way (Part III) Seeing God’s Way (Part III) The Deliverance from Giving Satan Ground The Deliverance from Giving Satan Ground

Introducon Introducon If you have given Satan ground, you have a right to take it back. You can take it If you have given Satan ground, you have a right to take it back. You can take it back by understanding Bible truth and acng on it! back by understanding Bible truth and acng on it! I. Christ is in Us I. Christ is in Us

Eph. 4:20-21 “But ye have not so learned Christ; If so be that ye have heard Eph. 4:20-21 “But ye have not so learned Christ; If so be that ye have heard him,” him,”

KEY TRUTH #1 KEY TRUTH #1

You Must Nurture a Relaonship with Christ You Must Nurture a Relaonship with Christ

A. Desire It A. Desire It John 7:37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and John 7:37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.

B. Expect It B. Expect It John 7:38 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of John 7:38 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. his belly shall flow rivers of living water. II. We are in Him II. We are in Him

Ephesians 4:21 “. . . and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:” Ephesians 4:21 “. . . and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:”

A. The Certainty of His Teaching A. The Certainty of His Teaching

B. The Place of His Teaching B. The Place of His Teaching 58 58 Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

C. The Content of His Teaching C. The Content of His Teaching 1. Put Off the Old Man 1. Put Off the Old Man Ephesians 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversaon Ephesians 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversaon the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceiul lusts; the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceiul lusts; 2. Put On the New Man 2. Put On the New Man Ephesians 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which aer God is Ephesians 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which aer God is created in righteousness and true holiness. created in righteousness and true holiness.

KEY TRUTH #2 KEY TRUTH #2

You Must Understand/Reckon/Act on Who You Are in Christ You Must Understand/Reckon/Act on Who You Are in Christ a. Understand Who You Are in Christ a. Understand Who You Are in Christ Romans 6:3, 6, 9 “Know ye not . . . Knowing this . . . Knowing that” Romans 6:3, 6, 9 “Know ye not . . . Knowing this . . . Knowing that” Dead to sin in Christ Dead to sin in Christ Alive unto God in Christ Alive unto God in Christ Raised up in the Heavenlies in Christ Raised up in the Heavenlies in Christ Accepted in the Beloved in Christ Accepted in the Beloved in Christ Complete in Christ Complete in Christ Chosen in Christ Chosen in Christ Loved in Christ Loved in Christ b. Reckon It to Be So b. Reckon It to Be So Romans 6:11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed Romans 6:11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. c. Act on That Reality c. Act on That Reality Romans 6:12-13 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that Romans 6:12-13 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: 3. Be Renewed 3. Be Renewed Eph. 4:23 “And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;” Eph. 4:23 “And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;” a. Present Tense - Connuous Process a. Present Tense - Connuous Process b. Passive Voice – Holy Spirit Renews b. Passive Voice – Holy Spirit Renews

59 59 Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

KEY TRUTH #3 KEY TRUTH #3

You Must Trust the Spirit to Renew You Must Trust the Spirit to Renew 1) Holy Spirit Uses His Word 1) Holy Spirit Uses His Word Ephesians 6:17 ...and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of Ephesians 6:17 ...and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: God: Applicaon: You must put God’s Word in your heart. By doing Applicaon: You must put God’s Word in your heart. By doing that you are pung the Spirit’s sword in His hand! that you are pung the Spirit’s sword in His hand! 2) Holy Spirit uses Our Dependent Obedience 2) Holy Spirit uses Our Dependent Obedience Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established. thoughts shall be established. Applicaon: You must depend upon the Spirit to enable you as Applicaon: You must depend upon the Spirit to enable you as you obey the Lord. you obey the Lord.

D. The Applicaon of His Teaching D. The Applicaon of His Teaching

1. Truth over Deceit 1. Truth over Deceit Ephesians 4:25 Wherefore pung away lying, speak every man Ephesians 4:25 Wherefore pung away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

KEY TRUTH #4 KEY TRUTH #4

You Must Biblically Confess Your Sin. You Must Biblically Confess Your Sin. a. Addicon is Idolatry a. Addicon is Idolatry b. Addicon involves Sin b. Addicon involves Sin c. Sin Must Be Biblically Confessed c. Sin Must Be Biblically Confessed I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

2. Grace over Anger 2. Grace over Anger Ephesians 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go Ephesians 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

60 60 Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

KEY TRUTH #5 KEY TRUTH #5

Grace Is Needed to Forgive. Grace Is Needed to Forgive. a. Grace Comes When We Trust a. Grace Comes When We Trust Romans 5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace Romans 5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand . . . wherein we stand . . . b. Trust God to Work All Things Together for Good b. Trust God to Work All Things Together for Good Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. purpose.

3. Give over Take 3. Give over Take Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. may have to give to him that needeth.

KEY TRUTH #6 KEY TRUTH #6

Overcoming is Important in Forgiveness Overcoming is Important in Forgiveness Romans 12:19-21 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but ra- Romans 12:19-21 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but ra- ther give place unto wrath: for it is wrien, Vengeance is mine; I ther give place unto wrath: for it is wrien, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. with good.

4. Edify over Tear Down 4. Edify over Tear Down Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communicaon proceed out of your Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communicaon proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. minister grace unto the hearers.

61 61 Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

5. Forgiveness over Bierness 5. Forgiveness over Bierness Ephesians 4:30-32 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby Ephesians 4:30-32 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redempon. Let all bierness, and ye are sealed unto the day of redempon. Let all bierness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. hath forgiven you.

KEY TRUTH #7 KEY TRUTH #7

You Must Forgive! You Must Forgive! Mahew 18:32-35 Then his lord, aer that he had called him, said Mahew 18:32-35 Then his lord, aer that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, ll he his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, ll he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. one his brother their trespasses.

6. Love over Lust 6. Love over Lust Ephesians 5:2-3 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and Ephesians 5:2-3 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. But fornicaon, and all uncleanness, or sweetsmelling savour. But fornicaon, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; saints;

E. The Context of His Teaching E. The Context of His Teaching

“walk . . . walk not . . . walk . . . walk . . . walk . . . stand” “walk . . . walk not . . . walk . . . walk . . . walk . . . stand”

1. Walk Worthy 1. Walk Worthy Ephesians 4:1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you Ephesians 4:1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocaon wherewith ye are called. that ye walk worthy of the vocaon wherewith ye are called.

62 62 Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) Seeing God’s Way (Part 3) EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN EVANGELIST JIM VAN GELDEREN

2. Walk in Love 2. Walk in Love Ephesians 5:2 “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us . . .” Ephesians 5:2 “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us . . .”

3. Walk in Light 3. Walk in Light Ephesians 5:8 “walk as children of light” Ephesians 5:8 “walk as children of light”

4. Walk Circumspectly 4. Walk Circumspectly Ephesians 5:15 “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, Ephesians 5:15 “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,” but as wise,”

5. Stand Against 5. Stand Against Ephesians 6:11 “. . . stand against the wiles of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11 “. . . stand against the wiles of the devil.”

E. The Bale over His Teaching E. The Bale over His Teaching

Eph. 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to Eph. 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. stand against the wiles of the devil.

1. You Must Bale in His Strength 1. You Must Bale in His Strength Ephesians 6:10 “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in Ephesians 6:10 “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.” the power of his might.”

2. You Must Bale with His Armor 2. You Must Bale with His Armor Ephesians 6:13 “Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of Ephesians 6:13 “Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” done all, to stand.”

3. You Must Bale in Prayer 3. You Must Bale in Prayer Ephesians 6:18 “Praying always with all prayer and supplicaon in Ephesians 6:18 “Praying always with all prayer and supplicaon in the Spirit . . . the Spirit . . .

63 63 Additional Notes Additional Notes

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______69 69 Planning My Walk of Faith Planning My Walk of Faith

K NOW RECKON YIELD K NOW RECKON YIELD “ For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but “ For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.” Hebrews 4:2 in them that heard it.” Hebrews 4:2

 Know (Rom. 6:1-10)  Know (Rom. 6:1-10) What is true from God’s Word? What is true from God’s Word?  Reckon (Rom. 6:11-12)  Reckon (Rom. 6:11-12) What is my plan to memorize & meditate on God’s Word? What is my plan to memorize & meditate on God’s Word?  Yield (Rom. 6:13-20)  Yield (Rom. 6:13-20) What is my plan to change my acons & atudes? What is my plan to change my acons & atudes?

W C D I N T M?... W C D I N T M?...

In My Personal Life: In My Personal Life: ______

70 70 Planning My Walk of Faith Planning My Walk of Faith

With My Love: With My Love: ______

With My Children: With My Children: ______

With My Church Family: With My Church Family: ______

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B B

A C R A C R B S S T B S S T D’ 5 10 S D’ 5 10 S F I T M F I T M F D G S T F D G S T G B T M G B T M G C T T D, LLC G C T T D, LLC H -C J H -C J K G B V M K G B V M

R R

A’ - 3415 W 76 Country Blvd. (417) 337-5501 A’ - 3415 W 76 Country Blvd. (417) 337-5501 B O G - 601 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 239-0063 B O G - 601 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 239-0063 B E - 801 W. Main (417) 336-2023 B E - 801 W. Main (417) 336-2023 B C - 120 W. Main (417) 334-3021 B C - 120 W. Main (417) 334-3021 B W W - 1111 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 334-0004 B W W - 1111 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 334-0004 C L - 1001 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 334-6062 C L - 1001 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 334-6062 C’ S - 331 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 337-7334 C’ S - 331 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 337-7334 CC’ - 3460 W. State Hwy 76 (417) 239-0109 CC’ - 3460 W. State Hwy 76 (417) 239-0109 C/A A’ - 307 Branson Landing (417) 334-3730 C/A A’ - 307 Branson Landing (417) 334-3730 C C - 1615 Missouri 76 (417) 239-0801 C C - 1615 Missouri 76 (417) 239-0801 C - 1309 Missouri 248 (417) 334-4494 C - 1309 Missouri 248 (417) 334-4494 D’ - 2335 Missouri 76 (417) 339-3670 D’ - 2335 Missouri 76 (417) 339-3670 D’ - 876 Birch Hollister (417) 337-7788/ 3310 W. 76 Branson (417) 335-6789 D’ - 876 Birch Hollister (417) 337-7788/ 3310 W. 76 Branson (417) 335-6789 F D’ - 1201 Branson Landing (417) 334-4858 F D’ - 1201 Branson Landing (417) 334-4858 F R - 119 W. Main (417) 334-9701 F R - 119 W. Main (417) 334-9701

87 87 Thank You Thank You

F’ - 2690 Green Mountain Dr. (417)337-9882 F’ - 2690 Green Mountain Dr. (417)337-9882 F - 1615 Missouri 76 (417) 334-6666 F - 1615 Missouri 76 (417) 334-6666 G - 1221 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 335-3701 G - 1221 Branson Landing Blvd (417) 335-3701 G P - 1026 W. Main (417) 332-1001 G P - 1026 W. Main (417) 332-1001 G C - 3551 Shepherd of the Hills Expy (417) 336-6297 G C - 3551 Shepherd of the Hills Expy (417) 336-6297 G’ C - 9 Treasure Lake Rd. (417) 335-2300 G’ C - 9 Treasure Lake Rd. (417) 335-2300 G A S C H - 2421 Missouri 76 (417) 335-6699 G A S C H - 2421 Missouri 76 (417) 335-6699 IHOP - 1055 W. Hwy 376 (417) 339-4467 IHOP - 1055 W. Hwy 376 (417) 339-4467 J J’ - 482 Branson Landing (417) 334-6111 J J’ - 482 Branson Landing (417) 334-6111 K C - 1 Opportunity Ave, Point Lookout (417) 239-1900 K C - 1 Opportunity Ave, Point Lookout (417) 239-1900 K - 813 Branson Landing (417) 334-9240 K - 813 Branson Landing (417) 334-9240 K K - 150 Tanger Blvd. (417) 339-2664 K K - 150 Tanger Blvd. (417) 339-2664 L - 1800 W State Highway J, Ozark, MO (417) 581-7655 L - 1800 W State Highway J, Ozark, MO (417) 581-7655 L S - 915 Branson Landing (417) 385-5014 L S - 915 Branson Landing (417) 385-5014 MF’ - 3562 Shepherd of the Hills Expy (417) 336-4680 MF’ - 3562 Shepherd of the Hills Expy (417) 336-4680 M M - 333 Branson Landing (417) 320-5082 M M - 333 Branson Landing (417) 320-5082 M M - 3225 Missouri 76 (417) 334-2766 M M - 3225 Missouri 76 (417) 334-2766 O G - 3790 Missouri 76 (417) 337-5811 O G - 3790 Missouri 76 (417) 337-5811 P J’ - 2715 Missouri 76 (417) 337-7272 P J’ - 2715 Missouri 76 (417) 337-7272 P - 3129 W. 76 Country Blvd. (417) 335-0690 P - 3129 W. 76 Country Blvd. (417) 335-0690 P D’ - 545 Branson Landing (417) 320-5127 P D’ - 545 Branson Landing (417) 320-5127 R C - 1855 Missouri 76 (417) 337-7427 R C - 1855 Missouri 76 (417) 337-7427 R M. C F - 403 Branson Landing (417) 337-7623 R M. C F - 403 Branson Landing (417) 337-7623 S S - 2212 W. State Hwy 76 (417) 334-7827 S S - 2212 W. State Hwy 76 (417) 334-7827 S- 125 Mall Rd, Hollister, MO (417) 332-0101 S- 125 Mall Rd, Hollister, MO (417) 332-0101 S - 2600 Missouri 76 (417) 337-9716 S - 2600 Missouri 76 (417) 337-9716 S B C C - 203 Branson Landing (417) 335-6786 S B C C - 203 Branson Landing (417) 335-6786 Q - 482 Branson Landing (417) 598-8059 Q - 482 Branson Landing (417) 598-8059

88 88 W , W ,

What is your age group? What is your age group?  18-24  25-29  30-39 40-49  50-59  60+  18-24  25-29  30-39 40-49  50-59  60+

Gender?  Male  Female Gender?  Male  Female

Are you a Pastor?  Yes  No Are you a Pastor?  Yes  No

What state do you live in? What state do you live in?

 MO  AR KS  OK  IA  IL  IN  TX  ____  MO  AR KS  OK  IA  IL  IN  TX  ____

Is this your first year aending the Retreat?  Yes  No Is this your first year aending the Retreat?  Yes  No

Lord willing, will you return next year?  Yes  No Lord willing, will you return next year?  Yes  No

What hotel did you stay in? What hotel did you stay in?  Hilton Convenon Center  Hilton Landing  1000 Hills  Hilton Convenon Center  Hilton Landing  1000 Hills  Radisson Own Lodging  Radisson Own Lodging

How were your accommodaons?  Poor  Average  Good How were your accommodaons?  Poor  Average  Good

How important are these: Not Important……….Very Important How important are these: Not Important……….Very Important Classroom Set-Up (Tables & Chairs) 1 2 3 4 5 Classroom Set-Up (Tables & Chairs) 1 2 3 4 5 Snacks 1 2 3 4 5 Snacks 1 2 3 4 5 Giveaways 1 2 3 4 5 Giveaways 1 2 3 4 5 Staying on site 1 2 3 4 5 Staying on site 1 2 3 4 5

89 89 What was the most helpful session to you?______What was the most helpful session to you?______

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What new sessions and new speakers would you like to hear in the future? What new sessions and new speakers would you like to hear in the future?

______

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What was the highlight of the retreat for you? ______What was the highlight of the retreat for you? ______

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How has God worked in your marriage this weekend? How has God worked in your marriage this weekend?

______

Comments: (Help us make it beer) Comments: (Help us make it beer)

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*Oponal: *Oponal: Name:______Name:______Church:______Church:______

90 90 Answers Page Answers Page

Love is Blind - Pastor Steve Brudnak Double Vision - Pastor Mark Bradshaw Love is Blind - Pastor Steve Brudnak Double Vision - Pastor Mark Bradshaw I. Jesus I. Enter Into I. Jesus I. Enter Into II. A. Shame II. Evaluate II. A. Shame II. Evaluate II. D. Cycle III. Eliminate II. D. Cycle III. Eliminate III. Excuses IV. Enjoy III. Excuses IV. Enjoy

Bird’s Eye View - Pastor Donnie Ball 20/20 Vision - Pastor Paul Caldwell Bird’s Eye View - Pastor Donnie Ball 20/20 Vision - Pastor Paul Caldwell I. Assignment I. A. 1. Responsibility I. Assignment I. A. 1. Responsibility I. A. Control, Assignment I. A. 2. Provide I. A. Control, Assignment I. A. 2. Provide I. B. Capacity, Assignment I. A. 3. Security, Significance I. B. Capacity, Assignment I. A. 3. Security, Significance II. Applicaon II. A. 2. a. Respect II. Applicaon II. A. 2. a. Respect II. A. Good II. A. 2. b. Love II. A. Good II. A. 2. b. Love II. A. 1. Perspiraon II. B. 1. a. Listen II. A. 1. Perspiraon II. B. 1. a. Listen II. A. 2. Profit II. B. 2. d. Condense II. A. 2. Profit II. B. 2. d. Condense II. B. Bad II. C. 1. Small II. B. Bad II. C. 1. Small II. B. 1. Delinquency II. C. 3. Communicate II. B. 1. Delinquency II. C. 3. Communicate II. B. 2. Defeat  Give in II. B. 2. Defeat  Give in III. Accounng III. Accounng III. A. Faithfulness III. A. Faithfulness III. B. Failure III. B. Failure IV. Aermath IV. Aermath IV. A. Faithful Family Vision - Pastor Ma Marnez IV. A. Faithful Family Vision - Pastor Ma Marnez IV. A. 1. praised I. Philosophy IV. A. 1. praised I. Philosophy IV. A. 2. promoted I. A. 3. remove IV. A. 2. promoted I. A. 3. remove IV. B. Failed I. C. taught IV. B. Failed I. C. taught IV. B. 1. Pronouncement II. Plan IV. B. 1. Pronouncement II. Plan IV. B. 2. Possessions II. B. fail IV. B. 2. Possessions II. B. fail III. Posives III. Posives III. C. TIME III. C. TIME

91 91 Answers Page Answers Page

Hind Sight- Pastor Kevin Metsinger Hind Sight- Pastor Kevin Metsinger Marriage mentor Marriage mentor I. Men, Women I. Men, Women I. B. Grave I. B. Grave I. C. 1. Holiness I. C. 1. Holiness I. C. 5. women I. C. 5. women

Impaired Vision - Pastor Noel Cwenar Impaired Vision - Pastor Noel Cwenar I. Perspecve I. Perspecve I. A. Curse I. A. Curse I. B. sin I. B. sin I. F. cross I. F. cross  grace to endure  grace to endure II. Pracces II. Pracces III. Purposes III. Purposes

92 92 P P C C R R

December 7-9, 2020 December 7-9, 2020

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to be a blessing to your Pastor Don’t miss out on this opportunity to be a blessing to your Pastor

I am a Pastor, interested in: I am a Pastor, interested in:

 Coming to this retreat, and would like more information  Coming to this retreat, and would like more information

 Financially supporting this retreat  Financially supporting this retreat

I am a church member who has a desire to see that our church sends our Pastor I am a church member who has a desire to see that our church sends our Pastor  I have checked with my Pastor, and he doesn’t mind you sending information directly to  I have checked with my Pastor, and he doesn’t mind you sending information directly to me. me.

Name:______Name:______

Email:______Email:______

Address: ______Address: ______

City:______State:______Zip Code:______City:______State:______Zip Code:______

Phone:______Phone:______

Church Name: (include City & State) ______Church Name: (include City & State) ______

______93 93

APPENDIX APPENDIX

95 95

jerrypalmerimages.com jerrypalmerimages.com

Jerry and Phyllis Palmer Jerry and Phyllis Palmer 918.527.1109 918.527.1109 8935 E 16th Pl, Tulsa, OK 74112 8935 E 16th Pl, Tulsa, OK 74112 [email protected] [email protected]

Thank you for allowing us to make your portraits! Thank you for allowing us to make your portraits! We hope these images will be a blessing to you. We hope these images will be a blessing to you.

CD with the images of you and the Retreat $20 CD with the images of you and the Retreat $20 (this includes a copyright release ) (this includes a copyright release ) Postage $5 Postage $5 Total: $25 Total: $25

Name:______Name:______Address:______Address:______City:______State: ______Zip Code:______City:______State: ______Zip Code:______

1 1

PHOTO PHOTO

Contest Closes @: Win a Contest Closes @: Win a 10pm Friday Evening 10pm Friday Evening

Romance Romance Humor 417-242-1336 Humor 417-242-1336 Creative Creative

GIVE US YOUR BEST SHOTS! GIVE US YOUR BEST SHOTS!

1 photo entry per couple 1 photo entry per couple Photo must be taken during your time at the retreat Photo must be taken during your time at the retreat Please include name of couple Please include name of couple

2 2 ContestSkit 2019 ContestSkit 2019

Grand Prize Grand Prize 2 Free 2021 Retreats 2 Free 2021 Retreats & &

Appearance at the 2021 Retreat Appearance at the 2021 Retreat

• 1 entry per couple • 1 entry per couple

• Skit must be in video form • Skit must be in video form

• Must be Submied by February 1, 2021 • Must be Submied by February 1, 2021

• Include couples name and church name • Include couples name and church name

Please see website for full details: Please see website for full details: www.livingunited.com www.livingunited.com

3 3

203 Branson LandingBranson417-335-6786 203 Branson LandingBranson417-335-6786 Available at Available at Friday: 10am-7pm Friday: 10am-7pm 201 E. Main StBranson Saturday: 10am-7pm 201 E. Main StBranson Saturday: 10am-7pm

$ OFF $ OFF $ OFF $ OFF any two lunch any two dinner any two lunch any two dinner

entrees. entrees. entrees. entrees. 4 04 4 04 3 3 “Like” us on Facebook for “Like” us on Facebook for “Like” us on Facebook for “Like” us on Facebook for more news and special offers. E: 2/29/20 more news and special offers. E: 2/29/20 more news and special offers. E: 2/29/20 more news and special offers. E: 2/29/20

$2 OFF $2 OFF The 7D Dark Ride or The 7D Dark Ride or The Mirror Maize The Mirror Maize 715 Branson Landing BlvdBranson 715 Branson Landing BlvdBranson (417) 203-4150 (417) 203-4150 Offer Expires: March 1, 2020 Offer Expires: March 1, 2020

4 4

25% Off 25% Off Dine-in food purchase Dine-in food purchase 3562 Shepherd of the Hills Expressway Branson417-336-4680 3562 Shepherd of the Hills Expressway Branson417-336-4680

Not valid with any other offers Not valid with any other offers Not valid for whole pies or retail items Not valid for whole pies or retail items Open Fridays 3:30-7:30 pm Open Fridays 3:30-7:30 pm Sat & Sun 11 am-7:30 pm Sat & Sun 11 am-7:30 pm *Offer Expires: February 23, 2020 *Offer Expires: February 23, 2020

25% Off 25% Off Dine-in food purchase Dine-in food purchase 3225 West Highway 76Branson 417-334-2766 3225 West Highway 76Branson 417-334-2766

Not valid with any other offers or alcohol Not valid with any other offers or alcohol Open Fridays 3:30-7:30 pm Open Fridays 3:30-7:30 pm Sat & Sun 11 am-7:30 pm Sat & Sun 11 am-7:30 pm

*Offer Expires: February 23, 2020 *Offer Expires: February 23, 2020

25% Off 25% Off Dine-in food purchase Dine-in food purchase 2690 Green Mountain Drive Branson417-337-9882 2690 Green Mountain Drive Branson417-337-9882

Not valid with any other offers or alcohol Not valid with any other offers or alcohol Open Fridays 3:30-7:30 pm Open Fridays 3:30-7:30 pm Sat & Sun 11 am-7:30 pm Sat & Sun 11 am-7:30 pm

*Offer Expires: February 23, 2020 *Offer Expires: February 23, 2020

5 5 1201 Branson LandingBranson417-334-4858 1221 Branson LandingBranson417-335-3701 1201 Branson LandingBranson417-334-4858 1221 Branson LandingBranson417-335-3701 20% off Enre Purchase 20% off Enre Purchase $5 OFF $5 OFF $25 purchase $25 purchase Not valid with any other offer or alcohol Not valid with any other offer or alcohol *Only Valid: February 21-22, 2020 *Only Valid: February 21-22, 2020 *Only Valid: February 21-22, 2020 *Only Valid: February 21-22, 2020

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6 6 www.BransonsBestRestaurant.com www.BransonsBestRestaurant.com Open Open Your Choice: Your Choice: 11am - 9pm 11am - 9pm FREE FREE

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7 7

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10 10

Order Form Order Form

A S - MP3 A S - MP3 $25 $25

Name: ______Name: ______

Address: ______Address: ______

______

Phone Number: ______Phone Number: ______

Church Name: (include City & State) ______Church Name: (include City & State) ______

______

Number of CD’s: ______Total: ______Number of CD’s: ______Total: ______

* Please print clearly * Please print clearly

12 12

Couples Inventory Couples Inventory

Couples Inventory Couples Inventory

Instrucons Instrucons • This inventory is for the following purposes: • This inventory is for the following purposes: Evaluang where you are in your Spiritual Life Evaluang where you are in your Spiritual Life Evaluang where you are within your marriage Evaluang where you are within your marriage Creang a helpful dialogue with your spouse Creang a helpful dialogue with your spouse Exposing areas of excuse Exposing areas of excuse Opening your eyes to steps of faith you must take Opening your eyes to steps of faith you must take Help develop a plan to make tangible changes of faith acons Help develop a plan to make tangible changes of faith acons • This is not for any of these purposes: • This is not for any of these purposes: Finding problems with my spouse Finding problems with my spouse Create a pile of guilt, but rather start you on a path to take care of one thing at a Create a pile of guilt, but rather start you on a path to take care of one thing at a me me Being a complete “fix-all” to marriage problem, but a tool to help you get Being a complete “fix-all” to marriage problem, but a tool to help you get started started To be used to cause a fight, but to create helpful conversaon about where your To be used to cause a fight, but to create helpful conversaon about where your marriage is marriage is • The framework of this inventory follows the core principles of Living United • The framework of this inventory follows the core principles of Living United -Commitment, Love, & Purpose -Commitment, Love, & Purpose • Each inventory should be filled out by each individual separately. Once it is completely • Each inventory should be filled out by each individual separately. Once it is completely filled out go over the results together. filled out go over the results together.

Living – Evaluang my personal Spiritual Life (circle one or fill in the blank) Living – Evaluang my personal Spiritual Life (circle one or fill in the blank) • I know I am born again believer – yes – no – I’m not sure • I know I am born again believer – yes – no – I’m not sure • Where am I at Spiritually • Where am I at Spiritually Personal me of Bible Reading - ______x’s per month Personal me of Bible Reading - ______x’s per month Personal prayer - ______x’s per month Personal prayer - ______x’s per month Family Devoons – Together talking about spiritual things - ______x’s per Family Devoons – Together talking about spiritual things - ______x’s per month month

13 13 Couples Inventory Couples Inventory

Church Services - ______x’s per month Church Services - ______x’s per month Taking steps of faith - ______x’s per month Taking steps of faith - ______x’s per month Spiritual Inventory Number: Add the above numbers ______(This does not Spiritual Inventory Number: Add the above numbers ______(This does not determine one’s spirituality but serves as a gauge of measurement.) determine one’s spirituality but serves as a gauge of measurement.) • What wrong/unbiblical thinking/beliefs about marriage have you brought into your • What wrong/unbiblical thinking/beliefs about marriage have you brought into your marriage? marriage? What model of being a husband/wife did you watch growing up? What model of being a husband/wife did you watch growing up? ______What Biblical command about marriage is easiest for you to follow? What Biblical command about marriage is easiest for you to follow? ______What Biblical command about marriage is hardest for you to follow? What Biblical command about marriage is hardest for you to follow? ______Are there any areas of Biblical teaching about marriage (i.e. something you’ve Are there any areas of Biblical teaching about marriage (i.e. something you’ve heard your pastor teach, or heard taught at a Living United Couples Retreat) that heard your pastor teach, or heard taught at a Living United Couples Retreat) that you disagree with? you disagree with? ______

United – Commitment United – Commitment • What is your commitment level to your marriage – ll death do us part – I’d leave if there • What is your commitment level to your marriage – ll death do us part – I’d leave if there was infidelity – If things get bad, I’m done – I’m considering leaving now – My marriage is was infidelity – If things get bad, I’m done – I’m considering leaving now – My marriage is almost over almost over • Does your spouse know your level of commitment? – yes – no • Does your spouse know your level of commitment? – yes – no • If you are totally commied to your marriage you must be willing to get help if you are • If you are totally commied to your marriage you must be willing to get help if you are having consistent deep troubles. Are you willing to seek help with your marriage? – yes having consistent deep troubles. Are you willing to seek help with your marriage? – yes – no – no

14 14 Couples Inventory Couples Inventory

• Do you believe you need outside help/counseling/coaching with your marriage? – yes – • Do you believe you need outside help/counseling/coaching with your marriage? – yes – no – maybe no – maybe

United – Love United – Love • Where is your marriage? – great – good – fair – poor – bad • Where is your marriage? – great – good – fair – poor – bad • Where am I at relaonally • Where am I at relaonally How oen do we fight? – oen – somemes – seldom – never How oen do we fight? – oen – somemes – seldom – never How oen do I “lose it” with family? – oen – somemes – seldom – never How oen do I “lose it” with family? – oen – somemes – seldom – never How oen do we have a great day? – oen – somemes – seldom – never How oen do we have a great day? – oen – somemes – seldom – never How oen do we have great conversaons? – oen – somemes – seldom – How oen do we have great conversaons? – oen – somemes – seldom – never never How oen do we have sex? – oen – somemes – seldom – never How oen do we have sex? – oen – somemes – seldom – never • What emoons do I feel when my marriage is strong, fun, and right? • What emoons do I feel when my marriage is strong, fun, and right? ______• What Emoons do I have when my marriage is weak, fighng, and wrong? • What Emoons do I have when my marriage is weak, fighng, and wrong? ______• What is the best and worst part about my sex life? • What is the best and worst part about my sex life? ______• What is my communicaon sin? (circle all that apply) – yelling – clamming up – passive/ • What is my communicaon sin? (circle all that apply) – yelling – clamming up – passive/ aggressive – aggressive – manipulaon – accusing – jumping to conclusions – not aggressive – aggressive – manipulaon – accusing – jumping to conclusions – not listening listening • Household sins • Household sins My manly/womanly dues around the house are taken care of – always – some- My manly/womanly dues around the house are taken care of – always – some- mes – seldom – never mes – seldom – never If I get on my spouse’s nerves in this area it would be because – I’m overly a neat If I get on my spouse’s nerves in this area it would be because – I’m overly a neat freak – I’m a total slob – I don’t get on their nerves because I have the right freak – I’m a total slob – I don’t get on their nerves because I have the right balance balance • What financial sins do we have? • What financial sins do we have? As a couples we – spend too much money – are too ght with our money – are As a couples we – spend too much money – are too ght with our money – are just right with our money just right with our money

15 15 Couples Inventory Couples Inventory

My spouse – spends too much money – is too ght with money – is just right My spouse – spends too much money – is too ght with money – is just right with our money with our money Our overall financial picture is – crippling debt – manageable debt – no debt, but Our overall financial picture is – crippling debt – manageable debt – no debt, but living paycheck to paycheck with no savings – no debt and also have savings (no living paycheck to paycheck with no savings – no debt and also have savings (no debt does not include your house) debt does not include your house) Do we have a wrien budget? – yes – no Do we have a wrien budget? – yes – no What is the biggest way we waste money? What is the biggest way we waste money? ______• What is the single biggest problem in your marriage? • What is the single biggest problem in your marriage? ______• What would your spouse say is the single biggest problem in your marriage? • What would your spouse say is the single biggest problem in your marriage? ______• Does your love look like God’s descripon? I Cor. 13:4-8 inventory 1-10 scale • Does your love look like God’s descripon? I Cor. 13:4-8 inventory 1-10 scale (Insert Your Name) suffereth [allows] long, (paent – doesn’t blow stack) (Insert Your Name) suffereth [allows] long, (paent – doesn’t blow stack) 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) is kind (Insert Your Name) is kind 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) envieth not (Insert Your Name) envieth not 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) vaunteth not itself (brags about self) (Insert Your Name) vaunteth not itself (brags about self) 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) is not puffed up (arrogant) (Insert Your Name) is not puffed up (arrogant) 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) Doth not behave itself unseemly (rudely) (Insert Your Name) Doth not behave itself unseemly (rudely) 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) seeketh not [their] own (looking out for self) (Insert Your Name) seeketh not [their] own (looking out for self) 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) is not easily provoked (Insert Your Name) is not easily provoked 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10

16 16 Couples Inventory Couples Inventory

(Insert Your Name) thinketh no evil (keeps no accounts of evil) (Insert Your Name) thinketh no evil (keeps no accounts of evil) 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) Rejoiceth not in iniquity (Insert Your Name) Rejoiceth not in iniquity 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) rejoiceth in the truth (Insert Your Name) rejoiceth in the truth 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) Beareth all things (Insert Your Name) Beareth all things 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) believeth all things (Insert Your Name) believeth all things 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) hopeth all things (Insert Your Name) hopeth all things 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) endureth all things (Insert Your Name) endureth all things 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 (Insert Your Name) never faileth: (Insert Your Name) never faileth: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10

United – Purpose United – Purpose • If you have children, what are your goals for your children? • If you have children, what are your goals for your children? ______• Do you agree on how you discipline your children? – totally – mostly – somemes – • Do you agree on how you discipline your children? – totally – mostly – somemes – never never • What is your family Bible verse? ______• What is your family Bible verse? ______• What are your ministry goals for you as a couple and for your family? • What are your ministry goals for you as a couple and for your family? ______

Work & Changes – What could you do to work on your marriage? (tangible and measurable Work & Changes – What could you do to work on your marriage? (tangible and measurable changes) changes) • Go over each other’s inventory and discuss your answers. • Go over each other’s inventory and discuss your answers. • If you have got to this point and you have consistently fought, it is a sign you have communi- • If you have got to this point and you have consistently fought, it is a sign you have communi- caon problems. Try to listen more than talk. When you talk make sure not to accuse your caon problems. Try to listen more than talk. When you talk make sure not to accuse your 17 17 Couples Inventory Couples Inventory

spouse. Don’t use superlaves like, never, always, every, etc. Remember, keep your focus spouse. Don’t use superlaves like, never, always, every, etc. Remember, keep your focus on yourself and what you need to fix. on yourself and what you need to fix. • What does your “Spiritual Inventory Number” (see above) say about your spiritual life? • What does your “Spiritual Inventory Number” (see above) say about your spiritual life? How do you plan to change your schedule and roune to spend more me with How do you plan to change your schedule and roune to spend more me with God? God? ______• What’s the number one way you have hurt your spouse? Get that right, right now! • What’s the number one way you have hurt your spouse? Get that right, right now! • List the top two things you need to work on as an individual. (only two, no more and no less) • List the top two things you need to work on as an individual. (only two, no more and no less) 1. ______1. ______2. ______2. ______• What could you do to help your spouse make the changes they see they need to make? • What could you do to help your spouse make the changes they see they need to make? • Write out what your spouse thinks you need to work on. Remember this is not what you • Write out what your spouse thinks you need to work on. Remember this is not what you think you need to work on, but what you think they think you need to work on. Do they think you need to work on, but what you think they think you need to work on. Do they agree? agree? ______• List the top two specific things you need to work on as a couple. (only two, no more and no • List the top two specific things you need to work on as a couple. (only two, no more and no less) less) 1. ______1. ______2. ______2. ______• End with a long (15 seconds or more) kiss! • End with a long (15 seconds or more) kiss!

18 18 FRIDAY 2:00 - 3:30 PM LOVE IS BLIND 3:45 - 4:45 PM ELECTIVE SESSIONS 5:00 - 6:30 PM SEEING GOD’S WAY (PART 1) 6:30 PM DINNER BREAK / DISMISS FOR EVENING

SATURDAY 9:00 - 10:30 AM SEEING GOD’S WAY (PART 2) 10:30 - 12:30 PM CHECK-OUT & LUNCH BREAK 12:45 - 1:45 PM ELECTIVE SESSIONS 2:00 - 3:30 PM SEEING GOD’S WAY (PART 3)

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A ministry of United Baptist Church: 8000 W. Farm Rd 140 | Spring eld, MO 65802 | 417-869-1336 livingunited.com Pastor Steve Brudnak