Conflict Resolution to Preserve Church Unity
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Digital Commons @ George Fox University Seminary Doctoral Programs Theses and Dissertations 2-2021 Conflict Resolution ot Preserve Church Unity Christina McCully Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/dmin Part of the Christianity Commons GEORGE FOX UNIVERSITY CONFLICT RESOLUTION TO PRESERVE CHURCH UNITY A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF PORTLAND SEMINARY IN CANDIDACY FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF MINISTRY BY CHRISTINA McCULLY PORTLAND, OREGON FEBRUARY 2021 Portland Seminary George Fox University Portland, Oregon CERTIFICATE OF APPROVAL ________________________________ DMin Dissertation ________________________________ This is to certify that the DMin Dissertation of Christina McCully has been approved by the Dissertation Committee on February 24, 2021 for the degree of Doctor of Ministry in Semiotics and Future Studies Dissertation Committee: Primary Advisor: H. Colleen Butcher, DMin Secondary Advisor: Rebecca Jeong, PhD Lead Mentor: Leonard I. Sweet, PhD Copyright © 2021 by Christina McCully All rights reserved ii DEDICATION To Curtis—my rock and partner in adventure. To Camille and Charles—my joy and delight. To Gena, Ernie, Ruth, Terrel, Curt, and Vicki—my encouragement and support. To my Church Family—my inspiration. iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS This was a journey that I could not have done alone! So many people made this incredible adventure possible. First, I must thank my husband, Curtis McCully, for your patience, encouragement, and guidance. From the very beginning of our relationship, you never clipped my wings but loved to see me soar in the sky. You never doubted me— even when I doubted myself. Thank you for seeing something in me that I never saw. I could have never done this without you. Camille and Charlie, thank you for being my breath of fresh air, for bringing laughter to your momma’s heart, a smile to my face, and loving me even when I was tired and grouchy! I hope and pray that you always know your place in God’s story! Thank you, Mom! You were my biggest cheerleader through this whole journey. I cannot express how grateful I am that you helped me edit every word of this dissertation. Dad, thank you for always being a source of strength and laughter. More than that, I deeply appreciate how you both taught me to love the church and always remain faithful. Grandpa, Grandma, Curt, and Vicki, thank you for always believing in me! Over the course of my life, I have been part of many church families that have helped shape me into the person I am today. There have been moments of great joy and laughter and moments of difficulty and hurt, but through it all I have been loved well. I would especially like to thank Trinity Church of the NaZarene in Lompoc, CA, and Newark Church of the NaZarene in Newark, OH, who walked this path with me. Thank you, Loren Kerns, Cliff Berger, Heather Rainey, and the staff at Portland Seminary for being such a wonderful source of wisdom and encouragement. A very special thank you to my cohort. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have learned from iv you! #WeAre80, simply put, there is not enough ice cream in the world that could express how awesome you are! Vern, thank you for the airplane ride and Julia, thank you for being brave with me. Thank you to my advisor, Dr. Colleen Butcher. You gently and patiently challenged me to do my best work. I truly appreciate your honesty and how you pushed me to do better. Not only did I get an amaZing advisor in this program, but also a great friend! Thank you, Len Sweet, for the profound impact you have had on my own story and my identity as a pastor. Thank you for all the Len quotes that now swim in my head, that I constantly question, “What would Len say about this?” and for challenging me to think creatively. I am beyond grateful that our paths crossed many years ago at Drew Theological Seminary and for your Facebook post looking for women to join your cohort at Portland Seminary. Thank you for your courage and faithfulness to mentor the pastors and leaders of Christ’s church. v Table of Contents DEDICATION ................................................................................................................... III ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ................................................................................................ IV TABLE OF FIGURES .................................................................................................... VIII ABSTRACT ...................................................................................................................... IX CHAPTER 1: UNITY DISRUPTED BY CONFLICT .......................................................1 A Culture Consumed in Conflict ...................................................................................2 (Re)Signing Conflict ......................................................................................................5 Steps Toward Healthy Conflict Resolution ...................................................................8 CHAPTER 2: CHURCH CONFLICT ..............................................................................10 Definition of Conflict ...................................................................................................11 Types of Conflict .........................................................................................................13 Relational Conflict .....................................................................................................14 Philosophical Conflict ................................................................................................18 Both Relational and Philosophical Conflict ...............................................................22 Conflict Levels .............................................................................................................22 Methods of Conflict Management ...............................................................................24 Unhealthy Responses in Conflict Management .........................................................25 Unresolved Conflict ...................................................................................................29 Healthy Responses in Conflict Management Methods ..............................................31 Elements for Healthy Conflict Management .............................................................36 Forgiveness ................................................................................................................39 Conclusion ...................................................................................................................40 CHAPTER 3: CONFLICT IN THE WORKPLACE ........................................................42 Conflict Management Strategies ..................................................................................43 Traditional Conflict Management Strategies .............................................................44 Dual Concern Strategies Within Congregations ........................................................48 Modern Strategy: Principled Negotiation ..................................................................49 Principled Negotiation Within Congregations ...........................................................51 Amy Gallo’s Four Modern Strategies ........................................................................51 Gallo’s Four Strategies Within Congregations ..........................................................53 IlgaZ’s Three-Step Approach .....................................................................................56 Conflict Management Toolbox ..................................................................................57 Workplace Conflict Training .......................................................................................59 Conflict Training in Local Churches ...........................................................................64 Three Main Applications for Churches ........................................................................67 “When and Where” Verses “Here and Now” ..............................................................68 CHAPTER 4: CONFLICT IN MARRIAGES ..................................................................70 Types of Conflict in Marriages ....................................................................................71 Types of Conflict Within the Church ...........................................................................72 Conflict Management ...................................................................................................73 vi Deconstructive Conflict Management .......................................................................74 Strategies of Deconstructive Conflict Management ..................................................75 Solvable Constructive Conflict Management ............................................................77 Strategies for Solvable Constructive Conflict Management ......................................77 Unsolvable Constructive Conflict Management Methods .........................................85 Application to Church Conflict ..................................................................................89 Separation and Divorce ................................................................................................92 Separation and Divorce Application to Church Conflict .............................................95 Premarital Education and Counseling ..........................................................................97