Allison P. Coudert

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The widespread incidents of conversions and reconversions dur- ing the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries were clearly a result of the fragmentation of Christianity in the wake of the Reformation. The Reformation encouraged conversion in another way as well, by making it more possible for those Jews who had been forcibly con- verted to Christianity or who had professed to accept it while con- tinuing to adhere to Judaism in secret (the so-called Marranos) to revert to the faith of their ancestors. As many historians have pointed out, the very fact of religious schism and the resulting religious plu- ralism, together with the conversion and reconversions of both Christians and Jews, created a situation in which doctrinal purity was undermined and skepticism, if not outright atheism, flourished. In this climate, ecumenism could flourish as well. This was clearly the case in Sulzbach. As I have argued elsewhere, Sulzbach was perhaps the only place where true philosemitism flourished, for here Jews were accepted as Jews, not simply as possible converts.44 Conversion was not an issue among the Kabbalists at Sulzbach because they firmly believed that the Kabbalah provided the means for uniting every kind of Christian with every kind of Jew, Moslem, and Pagan in a single, universal religion. I would suggest that it was in this atmosphere that Späth gained the positive attitude towards Jews that eventually led to his conversion. Christian August’s policy towards the Jews was highly unusual for a ruler of the time. Not only did he encourage the immi- gration of Jews into the Sulzbach territories, but he protected the Jews who came and never made his protection a means of extor- tion, as did so many other Christian rulers. The Christian Hebraist Johann Christoph Wagenseil gives a glowing picture of Christian August’s relations with his Jewish subjects. From his account one can clearly see that Christian August’s approach was unusual enough to rate special mention, especially because of his dismissal of the charge of ritual murder as an outright lie and his threat to punish any subject who spread such rumors: In this context we especially need to mention that the illustrious Prince Christian August of Pfaltz-Sulzbach, etc. has perfectly learned the sacred

44 “The Kabbala Denudata:Converting Jews or Seducing Christians?” In Christian- Jews and Jewish-Christians, eds. Richard H. Popkin and Gordon M. Weiner (Dordrecht: Kluwer, 1994). Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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Hebrew language together with all the Jewish secrets, even the Cabbala, and that he delighted in such studies daily. Also after the rumor started for the second time in his territory, in 1682 and 1692, that the Jews had hanged Christian children, a rumor which was investigated and found to be totally false, he also had official proclamations nailed up everywhere to the effect that his subjects and inhabitants were strictly admonished under pain of mandatory corporal punishment not to believe this aforementioned vain fiction and lying rumor, much less to spread it further or to command or allow their children, servants or tenants to speak of it, let alone to verbally attack a Jew or ask, or allow, someone to attack a Jew because of these rumors. Whoever wishes to consider these important events bad, of minor importance, and unworthy should consider the words said by the wisest king of the Jews (Proverbs xxi:1): “The heart of a king and prince is in the hands of the Lord. Like a stream, he directs it where he will.”45 The fact that so many Christians continued to believe Jews capable of murdering innocent children was an important factor in Späth’s conversion to Judaism. The volumes of the Kabbala denudata were published in 1677, 1678 and 1684. Späth did not officially convert to Judaism until 1696. It is therefore impossible to argue that Späth’s experiences in Sulzbach were directly responsible for his later conversion. In fact, from the letter he wrote to van Helmont after his conversion, it is clear that

45 J.C. Wagenseil, Benachrichtigungen wegen einiger die Judenschafft angehende wichtigen Sachen. Erste Theil worinnen 1. Die Hoffnung der Erlösung Israelis oder klarer Beweiß der grossen und wie es scheinet/allgemach herannahenden Juden-Bekehrung/sammt vorgreifflichen Gedancken/wie solche nechst Verheißung Göttlicher Hülffe/zu befordern. 2. Wiederlegung der Unwarheit daß die Juden zu ihrer Bedürfniß Christen-Blut haben müssen. 3. Anzeigung/wie leicht es dahin zu bringen/daß die Juden forthin abstehen müssen/die Christen mit Wuchern und Schinden zu plagen (Leipzig, 1705), 32–33: “Hieher gehöret absonderlich/daß der Durchlauchtigste Fürst Christianus Augustus von Pfaltz-Sulzbach etc. die heilige Hebräische Sprach/sammt allen der Jüden Geheimnüßen/auch so gar der Cabbala, vollkommen erlernet/und mit solchen Studien sich täglich ergetzet. Er hat auch/nach- dem in seinem Land zum zweyten mahl/als 1682 und 1692 der Ruf auskommen/als wenn die Juden Christen-Kinder aufgehangen hätten/nach genau untersuchter und Grund-falsch befundener Sache allenthalben öffentliche Mandata anschlagen lassen/durch welche Dero Hochfürstliche Durchl. Landes-Unterthanen und Ingesessenen bey unausbleiblicher Leibes-Straffe ernstlich geboten worden/den eitel erdichteten und lügenhafften Ausstreuen keinen Glauben beyzumessen/vielweniger aber davon weiter Ausbreitung zu thun/noch ihren Kindern und gebrodeten Leuten/oder Hintersassen davon zu reden/geschweig einen Juden deswegen anzufechten oder fürzuwerffen heissen oder gestatten. Wer wolte diese hohe Begebnisen für schlecht/ger- ing und nicht würdig achten/daß ihnen beygeschrieben werde/was der weisseste König [p. 33] unter den Juden Prov. xxi. i. gesagt: Des Königs (und Fürsten) Hertz ist in der Hand des Herrn/wie Wasser-Bäche/und er neigets wohin er will.” Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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while he was in Sulzbach and under the influence of van Helmont and Knorr von Rosenroth, he continued to believe that their kind of kabbalistic Christianity was the true religion. But as I have argued elsewhere, the kabbalistic convictions of the three people primarily responsible for the publication of the Kabbala denudata, Christian Knorr von Rosenroth, Francis Mercury van Helmont, and Christian August, undermined such basic Christian beliefs as the Trinity, the eternity of Hell, and even the notion that Jesus was the coequal and coeter- nal son of God. Thus the ecumenism and positive attitude toward Jews that Späth found in Sulzbach, together with the tendency of the Christian Kabbalists there to attenuate Christian doctrine by either explaining it allegorically or dismissing it altogether further undermined Späth’s Christian convictions. Spener certainly believed this to have been the case. He singled out van Helmont as responsible for Späth’s conversion on the grounds that he had made Späth’s belief in Christianity “lukewarm.”46 Späth eventually came to the conclusion that if Christians disagreed so fundamentally among themselves and if Christian Kabbalists appropriated Jewish philosophy for their own purposes while discarding Christian fundamentals, perhaps the real kernel of truth lay in the Judaism, from which Christianity arose. Herman van der Hardt suggested that this was indeed Späth’s reasoning when he described him as concluding after a long inter- nal battle that, “everything is uncertain except this: God is certainly one.”47 The other instrumental factor in Späth’s conversion was his utter revulsion at the way Christians treated Jews and his sudden realization that the “suffering servant” in Isaiah, chapter 53 referred to the Jewish people as a whole. Schudt describes this decisive moment, which occurred in Amsterdam. He was out walking when a picture of Jesus covered with wounds and boils fell out of his pocket and onto the pavement. A Jew walking nearby picked the picture up and remarked, “That is Israel, the man of sorrows.”48 Späth abruptly realized that just as the Jews had suffered for the sins of the gen-

46 P.J. Spener, Consilia et judicia theologica latina, III: 430. 47 Van er Hardt made this observation in a conversation he had with Stolle. See G.E. Guhrauer, “Beiträge zur Kenntneiss des 17. u. 18. Jahrhunderts aus den handschriﬂichen Aufzeichungen Gottlieb Stolle’s”, in: Allgemeine Zeitschrift für Geschichte 7 (1847), 403. 48 Schudt, Merkwürdigkeiten, IV, 200. Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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Finsternüß in ein heilsam Licht. Er selbst, [89] nicht ein ander Person, Character, Qualitaet oder Glantz, oderwie es Nahmen haben mag. Nicht stellet Er Christum vor. Er selbst ist gnädig, barmhertzig, langsam zu erzürnen, viel zu erbarmen. Seiner Eigenschafft ist, sich erbarmen und verschonnen, etc. Er tilget unsere Sünden um sein selbst willen, nicht um Christi oder eines andern Dinges willen, weder in Himmel noch auf Erden sondern um seines Heil[igen] Nahmes willen. Er selbst erbarmet sich, wie sich ein Vatter erbarmet über seine kinder etc. und haßet zum Schrecken hefftig allen Greuel, den [90] ich hirmit euch vor Augen stelle. Ich will euch aber noch ein köstlichern Weg zeigen, strebet nach der Liebe, welche das von Gott an Israël gegebene particulare und eigene Kleinod ist. Trachtet daß ihr mich in Liebe tragen und behalten konnet, der ich euch, weil mich die Liebe Gottes dringet mit solcher Liebe, Redlichkeit und Einfalt suche, auch zu finden wünsche, Amen. E. Edl. und der jenen sämtl. welche Gott in Hingabe ihres Hertzens erlich suchen

treuer Freund und Diener Moses Germanus ehemal Joh. Peter Späth

Moses Germanus to Francis Mercury van Helmont (Hamburg, Staatsbibliothek, Suppellex. Epistolica Uﬀenbaccii, v. 26, pp. 67 (154)–91 (167) Noble, highly revered and soul-loved Herr von Helmont, Because I cannot be sure nor know whether I will succeed in speaking to you personally because you previously did not [68] allow it and because I feel driven in my soul and conscience, I seek with these few lines or points to meet you face to face, and with that to derive satisfaction for my mind and free my conscience. First, I thank you once more and a thousand more times for you love and faith- fulness and also for your generosity and good deeds, which you have shown me many times by giving me used clothes, food, money, and that well-meant instruction which I esteem above all, but which, in fact, I found very false and harmful [67 sic] when I went farther into the matter and continued, struggling to the source. On account of such a teaching, I remind your illustrious self of the following: 1. Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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As for the Zohar, which was published by Herr Rosenroth with your assistance: please, if only for the sake of the fear and love of God, consider what horror, sin, and injustice has been done with this. The figure of the matron in the dedication to the Prince of Sulzbach is indeed a sincere, pure Jewess of a very noble origin, from a very revered antiquity, from [68] Palestine. Can greater injury and harm be done to her than to be handed over to the Roman people under Constantine, as the legitime successors of the Old Testament, or that band of spiritual gypsies, and prostituted? This from the viewpoint of the mentioned Zohar itself or the mystical doctrines of the Law. From the viewpoint of the participants, those into whose hands she has fallen, the damage done is even greater, because they will think they have something, while in fact they are incapable of it. And, thus, they are defrauded to the highest degree, especially and inevitably when, following the harmful instruction given to the reader [69] there, they often and at the same time read the Syrian New Testament and fill their poor skulls with your preconceived fantasies. Indeed, they can bind a bunch with their Grobian—already captured in Ovid’s Metamorphoses. But they should leave this heavenly, pure nymph untouched and have no part of her. 2. The same applies to your Kabbala denudata. No more dreadful shame can happen to a married woman or daughter than to be stripped naked before such a horri- ble and abominable undertaking. [70] Have not all honorable priests of the Pagans, Egyptians, Chaldeans, Greeks, Etruscans, and Romans been careful and taken pains so that their divine secrets would not be open to the unworthy rabble? But here the damage is even greater for the participants because they think they have a Cabbala which they do not in the least way have but only a heap of hastily-col- lected fragments which are more pagan than Jewish, just like D. Lupius’ Clavicula Solomonis and many similar works. [71] My soul will stand against yours in the balance before the judgement seat of the Almighty until you prove the persons in the Divinity on the basis of the Jewish Cabbala, although, as I said, these proofs were sniffed out from pagan forgeries, that were fabricated from misunderstood Rabbinical texts. To this day you and many others repeat the same things. It is absolutely not true that Psalm 50 can be understood to refer to a trinity of persons in the Godhead, or a triumvirate of praetors, through the words hwy µyhla la [El, Elohim, Tetragrammaton] as you dictated to my pen from your divine Cabbala, fol. 390 [72] in the section hy n. 10.77 To my shame I wrote this down in my Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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pocket psalter, which I still keep today as a witness and testimony of such fruit. 3. What really and finally bothers me more than all the preceding things and which is insofar the real reason that I pour out my heart to you is the so-called Hecatomb or hundred pane- gyrics that you explained to me at that time in Frankfurt with the printed page in hand and, while doing so, dictated marginalia to me, which I have enjoyed for so many years and which finally appeared in von Rosenroth’s Neuen Helicon and which I excessively recommended to others. But after [73] I experienced the mercy and grace [of God], I made known the fraud with pain and heartache. Also, at that time in Cleve, when the two dreams or appearances of Herr Rosenroth to his daughter were described in a very credi- ble fashion, sensitive thoughts came to my mind, that he would still be busy singing his blasphemous hecatombs and, in addition, his stinking corpse would daily be rejected and cast out from before the illuminated face of God. But because there and at that time I could not confide in anyone, as the outcome showed I would have made a bad impression [74] and harmed myself, thank God that God’s goodness protected me so well from this. Thus my sorrow was eat- ing at my heart and I lamented so much more about Herr Helmont to myself, that he himself would at some time have to sing the same sad song and be bereft of God’s presence, fooled by such fraud and hot air, that he will be relegated to such miserable places, etc., all of which I wanted to tell your illustrious self back then at the cas- tle. But because the power of darkness has stirred up an all-too-great crowd against me, neither then nor eventually here did your illustrious self [75] desire to listen, and I finally decided to print that Hecatomb with the correct and genuine Hebrew original, such as was in existence in the so-called time of Christ and the Apostles and also more than 1000 years before and more than 1000 years after and which is today, indeed, used daily among the Hebrews (it still is and always will be). I had decided to dedicate this edition to your Prince of Sulzbach, but then had heard that he had died. About all this you may now hear me, [76], as if I was traveling straight-

77 In the reprint of the Kabbala denudata (Hildesheim: Georg Olms Verlag, 1974) the passage Moses Germanus refers to appears in vol. 1, 388, section 7: “Scribitur & interdum Tetragrammaton cum nominee El, atque Elohim, quemadmodum Psal. 50, 1. Psalmus Asaphi: El, Elohim, Tetragrammaton locutus est & vocavit terram.” Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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away to you. God grant me a personal meeting, but in any case, [I communicate] through these written lines. I come with no other armor but in the name of God and, indeed, as is known of him, he opposes the arrogant, but not with defiance or revenge or hard and harsh words and he gives grace to those who are humble. Because of this, I approach you with the greatest humility. I put myself in the posture and likeness of a small dog at your noble feet, as I have done to my other worthy friends, [77] especially at Cleve. I am obliged and owe it to you, your illustrious self, not only to kiss your hands and feet but also to lick the dust off your shoes with my tongue. I wanted to offer my tears as a foot bath and whatever other expression of subservience I could muster. But I have both the truth and the word of God against you. It is not true that such a Hecatomb was ever used by the Hebrews and, therefore, it is not right that one cheats the world with such vain fantasies and pro- vides even more [78] annoyance and offense to those blind ones. May God imbue these words with the thunderous power of his own words, so that they will go straight to your heart and through you to others. Amen. I, through these many years of my own unfortu- nate experience, have learned what damage can be done when one pretends to wisdom and does not in fact possess it. Would God that others will heed this warning. I do not think some particular aspects of the Hecatombs are necessary. And, since I have not given up all hope of speaking to your illustrious self, such matters [79] will remain postponed until [I come into] your desired presence. Meanwhile, I would like to add one more point that in the dedication the following should have been expressly stated: both you and Herr Rosenroth should, having put your hands under the feet of Abraham, swear to say whether and where you found the original of such a Hecatomb, how it was communicated to Israel, etc. Do not be mistaken. God will not be mocked. 4. To treat everything equally and because of my never ending [unendlich for endlich] affection, I say that the book Cogitationes super quatruor priora capita libri Moysis, Genesis published by you contains on p 1 [80] c. 1 v. 1 gross blasphemy and throughout it whatever was not taken from Eben Ezra, Raschi, and the rest of the Rabbinic tradition is based on nothing but vain speculation. But because I have known you for so long and so well, I can promise myself and others that such things do not come from malice or godlessness but only from a thoughtless confusion of pagan Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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philosophy (Nota Bene that is, stupidity) with the understanding of God. I only want to refer to a parallel passage from Plato because it is easiest to see absurdity in others than in oneself. Theodoretus Cyrens. says the same thing [81] in Epistola de Curat. Graec. Aﬀect. Lib 2 p. m. 17. (Nota Bene he has doubts about the schools of Socrates and Plato concerning which of the two left writings or muthon tina, that is fables. It seems to me that each of them tells a story to us as if we were children. For a certain one of them made for us three prnciples of things. (Nota Bene as Jacob Boehme on the three principles of God’s nature). Some of them disagree to a certain extent (Nota Bene the father wrathful, the Son gentle), meanwhile [82] they become friends again, as if celebrating a marriage, and they pro- duce children (Nota Bene the eternal birth, the incarnation of the son of God, from which came the Holy Spirit). Another asserting the two principles of things, namely, moist and dry, or hot and cold, joins these things and brings them out. Indeed, these sorts of philoso- phers, who are called by us eclectics and begin with Xenophanes and even earlier, display to us I know not what fables, as if these things are one which are called all things. For certain Sicilian muses wrote that it was safer to [83] fold together two principles of things and immediately afterwards asserted that what is one is many. And you have said much the same. From this, you can see that they have painted new colors on the same pagan canvasses as Coccejus says skeptically in Hiob. Track. 1644, p. 3: Formerely doctrine was handed down from the Patriarchs to their sons and other men, but sometimes pious persons existed to whom God also revealed himself more intimately. From this custom, without doubt, many sorts of exotic wisdom was derived, although [84] afterwards they were handed down having fallen into a foul, idolatrous, and reprobate sense, etc. and thus until now still busy temselves with idols or as Psalm 50:18 says, where you see a theief (namely, the kind of person who steals God’s honor), so you walk with him and are in the company of adulterers, namely the kind of spiritual gypsies and adulterers of Scripture. For those who do not enter through the right doors are thieves and murderers. However, the right door is the seat of Moses, where the scribes sit, whom one must hear and act according to their words. So God wishes [85] that you will not deem these my faithful words of warning as too contemptuous and that they will open your eyes and mind as the same Psalm 50 v. 16 says, what Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

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do you proclaim, etc.78 But you do as you wish and you do not test and judge yourself so that you can eat heavenly bread. For this is the true, living bread sent from heaven, the true Easter [i.e. Passover] or sweet dough, which no uncircumcised person may eat, or he takes the meal himself etc., and as passages like these otherwise are understood absurdly. [86] Do not push me away, especially not unjustly, do not laugh at me. How should this one [Moses Germanus] direct us to what is good, so oppressed, so scattered, and scornfully and miserably afflicted by God, I who appear to have new and higher reprimands. Yet I am a member of that body of the man of sorrows (Isaiah 53) of the God of Israel, to which body peace must finally come. And they will know that they have inherited foolish- ness and fraud from their fathers and the 10,000 teachers. And they will see what a mess they have gotten themselves into, [87] just as the Scriptures demonstrate. Finally, hear my heart-felt wish from the beloved Syrach and my sighs, which I often send to heaven in the presence of a good friend (chapter 17, v. 20, 21, 22).79 So now return to the Holy Scriptures and abstain from sin (like an unauthorized person walking about and working in a strange, forbidden garden, field, or vineyard, make your prayer to Him and not to who knows what unknown kabbalistic Sephira). And lessen your offense, which misleads the blind masses. [88] Return to the Highest and refrain from all unjust deeds. Banish, tear up, and burn the 1. false Sohar 2. scandalous Kabbala 3. the blasphemous Hecatombe 4. the pagan, unclean Cogitationes in Genes. 5. also the Observationes circa hominem ejusque morbos, p. 32, the way a rabid dog is thrown in water (p. 37), as the bath of female Jews has been sought out and observed to be the basis for Christian baptism (and there are other examples). Then He himself will lead you out of darkness into heal-

78 “But unto the wicked God saith, What hast thou to do to declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth?” 79 Ecclesiasticus, or the Wisdom of Jesus, son of Sirach, 17:20–22: “their mis- deeds are not hidden from the Lord;/he observes all their sins./Charitable giving he treasures like a signet ring, and kindness like the apple of his eye.” Moses Germanus clearly had the following verses in mind as well as one can see from the continuation of his letter: “In the end he will arise and give the wicked their deserts, /bringing down retribution on their heads./Yet he leaves a way open for the penitent to return to him/and endows the waverer with strength to endure./Return to the Lord and have done with sin;/make your prayer in his presence and lessen your oﬀence./Come back to the Most High, renounce wrongdoing,/and hate intensely what he abhors” (23–24). Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

JUDAIZING IN THE SEVENTEENTH CENTURY 121

ing light. He himself cannot [89] have another person, character, quality, or splendor, or name. He does not need Christ. He himself is gracious, merciful, slow to anger, and abundant in mercy. His character is to be merciful and to spare, etc. He forgives our sins for his own sake and not for the sake of Christ nor for the sake of any other thing on heaven or earth, but for his own holy name. He himself is merciful as a father is merciful to his children. And he vehemently hates all the abomination [90] which I have put before your eyes here. I will show you a precious way: strive for the love which is the particular treasure God gave especially to Israel. Strive to keep and bear me in love, me who, because the love of God compels me with such love, honesty, and sincerity to seek you and wish to ﬁnd you. Amen. Your and of all those who God in the devotion of their heart honestly seek

true friend and servant, Moses Germanus Formerely Joh. Peter Späth Copyright © 2004. Brill. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except fair uses permitted under U.S. or Copyright © applicable copyright law.

A6AIN YEMENITE

PHOTO BY CINDY LEVITT

by Miri Hunter Haruach

■ was born and raised in Southern Virginia. I grew up Christian, a mix- I ture of Southern Baptist and Catholic. After twelve years of Catholic I school, I went further south, to Florida, for college. I had wanted to ^*Lgo to California, but my mother insisted we couldn't afford the air travel back and forth across the country. What my mother didn't know was that I wasn't planning on much back and forth travel. However, I wasn't holding the purse strings, so off to Florida I went. I had begun playing piano at the age of nine; by twelve I had also picked up the guitar. I was trained completely in the classics. This suited me. The rules and all the notes were already in place. This was quite unlike the jazz my dad loved, and the classics were filled with a different type of soul from my mother's church music. At college I had started my career by wanting to major in creative writing. However, at this time I was too busy experiencing life to write about it. My second semester, I switched to music theory and composition. As a minor I studied musical theatre. I spent countless hours alone, locked in a rehearsal studio and also as an extrovert on the stage singing and dancing my way into the hearts of Tampa, Florida. In 1981, 1 gradu- ated from the University of Tampa with a Bachelors degree in music. What college gave me, besides a degree, was a yearning for something else. The world became much bigger and more accessible. In Virginia my life had been surrounded by family and the community of both the Baptist church and the Catholic church; in college my community enveloped people from all over the world. Most intriguing to me were the people of Africa and

84 SUMMER 2001 BRIDGES

This content downloaded from 157.89.65.129 on Thu, 08 Jun 2017 01:08:31 UTC All use subject to http://about.jstor.org/terms Cuba who were brown like me, but cultur- The next week she invited me to Satur- ally, socially and politically different. day morning services. It was there that I was I had been raised in a community where thrown into turmoil. When the ark was everyone who wasn't white was Black. If you opened and the Torah brought forth, I began were Black, by definition, your ancestors to cry. This experience answered my question came to America on slave ships; they were from undergraduate school: here was my slaves and you were a descendant of slaves. culture, my religion and my connection to But the Africans I met in college, who were another place. The art, the Torah, the con- racially connected to me, weren't like me at gregation were all familiar to me. The tur- all. They had cultures, religions, connections moil, though, was based on the nagging to other places that were theirs. They were voice inside my head that kept insisting just visiting here. Something about them Blacks and Jews do not get along. made me uncomfortable in my skin. Some- I decided to face this turmoil, slowly. I thing about them made me long for a culture, began by taking Hebrew lessons at the Jew- a religion, my own connection to some other ish Community Center. I had been told it was place. a great place and you didn't have to be Jew- After graduation, a marriage, a divorce, I ish to go. I wondered if you had to be white, moved north to Boston to become a great but didn't know how to ask that question. actor. Having spent all of my life in the In Florida, I had studied Dianic witch- South, I found the intensity of the winters craft. There was a bookstore in town that and the covertness of the racism in the North had a wonderful selection of Goddess books, was more than I wanted to deal with. After feminist books and an amazing occult sec- three years of being chilled to the bone, I tion. One day I was in the occult section and moved to New Mexico. I thought my path I picked up a book on the Kabbala. I began was to study Native American traditions and to read it in the store. It took me several min- become a shaman. I financed this leg of my utes to realize that the book was not in En- life as a teaching assistant at the University of glish but in Hebrew, and that I had never New Mexico. This job, along with theatre seen Hebrew in my life. How did I even classes and productions, left me no time for know it was Hebrew? How was I under- shamanistic studies. Leaving there a year and standing this text? I bought the book and a half later with another degree, a Master of placed it high on my book shelf. By begin- Arts with an emphasis this time in ning my formal study of Hebrew, I reasoned playwriting and directing, I made my way, that now I would be able to tackle that book finally, to California. and begin some form of Jewish meditation I connected with a friend I had known in practice. Boston and together we began our California I walked into the room with immense experience. The first social function she in- trepidation. Ten weeks later, I realized it vited me to was Friday night Shabbat ser- would take a lot more work and study before vices. I was a bit hesitant: neither of us was I would be able to make sense of anything Jewish and I remembered hearing somewhere Kabbalistic. I did make a new friend in my that Blacks and Jews didn't get along. She Hebrew class who invited me to attend Is- also mentioned to me she was considering raeli folk dance with her. I had always been a conversion. As I recall, she kept asking and dancer: modern, ballet, tap. So the idea of finally I said yes. It was Martin Luther King folk dance did not intrigue me. It annoyed Jr.'s birthday and the synagogue was doing me. I was sure it would be a waste of my an exchange with a Black Christian church. time. I didn't move to San Francisco to learn The rabbi spoke, the gospel choir sang and to folk dance. Then it occurred to me I didn't the oneg (after service refreshments) was re- know exactly why I had moved to San Fran- splendent. On Sunday, she and I attended cisco. I knew I had moved North to become church services, where the minister spoke, the an actor, and West to become a shaman. cantor sang and the reception was equally as Nothing was going according to my plan. resplendent as the oneg had been. Finally, she convinced me that if I didn't like

This content downloaded from 157.89.65.129 on Thu, 08 Jun 2017 01:08:31 UTC All use subject to http://about.jstor.org/terms dancing, we could go somewhere else after- was one night a week, then two and finally wards. I promised I would meet her there. four nights a week. I was also attending When I arrived at the Jewish Community weekend dance workshops. I was obsessed Center that Saturday, I heard music and went with the idea of being able to embody this towards its source. Just then my friend culture: being able to experience, not just grabbed my arm and led me into the room. Israeli folk dance, but Yemenite culture We all formed a circle and the lesson began. through the sound, rhythm and movement. I The dance was called Sulam Yakov (Jacob's was also ecstatic to find out this culture I was Ladder). As I suspected, it was nice, but not a adopting was from Southern Arabia: the dance challenge. Then the music changed and people there were dark. It was possible to be all of these people, Jews I assumed, came out Jewish and be dark. People had been doing it of the wood work, surrounded me and began for thousands of years. dancing to music I had never heard before Shortly after I began my study of with steps I had never seen before. My friend Yemenite dancing, I was asked if I wanted to grabbed me from out of the middle of the help raise money for Ethiopian Jewry. Ethio- crowd. I didn't know if I had stumbled into a pian Jews? Thousands of them had just been religious practice or what. My friend in- airlifted from Addis Ababa to Tel Aviv. Yes, formed me that these people knew hundreds of course I would help. These were more of of dances and had been dancing for years. my people. This was an affirmation from the Each song has its own unique steps. This Universe that I was on the right track. Since wasn't quite the Virginia Reel. I was ready to that time, I have had the opportunity to learn leave, but she wanted to stay a little longer. a great deal about Yemenite Jewry and Ethio- She had grown up doing some of these pian Jewry, but it was the dance that carried dances and wanted to see if she could remem- me through my conversion process. ber them. I waited in the corner. I was listen- In the winter of 1993, 1 attended a week- ing to the music. As the night went on the end dance workshop. I was expecting to music became more and more interesting and dance twelve to fourteen hours a day, to eat the dances became harder and harder. and sleep very little, and to be ecstatic, but I As I look back on my first Israeli dance was not expecting to fall in love. This rela- experience, I realize that the dance was inter- tionship actually drove me away from my esting in two different ways. The first was faith, because I considered any God that that the people, as I eventually learned, were would bring me my soulmate and then make from all walks of life, Jews and non-Jews, him unavailable (i.e. married) was evil and dancing together. They had a movement vo- cruel. I spent that weekend on the beach de- cabulary in common. Since Israeli dance ex- nouncing my faith and the choices I had ists in some form in almost all Jewish made that had brought me to this point. It communities, it is possible to travel the world was all even more horrific because the object and have immediate connection to people of my affection was Yemenite. I slept little, because you share a common movement vo- ate little, danced little. The euphoria of ec- cabulary. Second, this was a type of music stasy was replaced by the bleakness of de- and dance that brought me home. I came to scent. Had I wished this upon myself? After learn that this particular style of music and that weekend, I ceased my conversion classes. dance belonged to the Jews of Yemen. The I stopped dancing. It was too painful. head movements, the body positions, the I had to figure out what to do with my rhythms. I knew them. These were my evenings. Alone now, I realized my entire people: my ancestors, my culture. I finally social life was built around this dance com- understood I was a visitor in this country and munity. Even non-dance events were attended I was being called home. with dancers. My women's group: all Israeli While auditioning for theatre produc- dancers. I decided, although I had a lovely tions and temping as a word processor at apartment in San Francisco, I did not want to various downtown financial district institu- spend every evening alone there. I still tions, I continued to go dancing. At first it wanted to dance and I was still lighting my

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This content downloaded from 157.89.65.129 on Thu, 08 Jun 2017 01:08:31 UTC All use subject to http://about.jstor.org/terms Shabbat candles. I began to take charge of eldest sons of Israel to leave with his son and my faith and my life. I hadn't started Israeli to establish the new Land of Zion in the dancing because I was looking for a man. I Land of Sheba. When the son returned to his had started dancing because I was on a path mother, he also had with him the Ark of the that was leading me to look for my connec- Covenant. Thus Zion was re-established in tion to the world and to the Divine. I wanted Sheba. The Land of Sheba at the time of to connect with my people, not find a hus- Solomon encompassed modern day Yemen, band. I started pulling myself back together. I Eritrea, Tigray and Ethiopia. changed synagogues. I had been studying at a Whichever story you choose, and there is Reform synagogue. I switched to a Conserva- probably some truth in all three, history goes tive synagogue. on to say that the Jews of Yemen lived free until the 17th century C.E. At this point Yemen adopted Islam as its official religion. The Jews were given certain mandatory re- I began to put together a dance group: a strictions. The restrictions included the prohi- Yemenite Israeli Performance Group. Our bition against wearing bright colors, and the goal was to audition for and get into the Eth- prohibition against raising their voices in nic Dance Festival held each year in San front of Muslims. Jews were not allowed to Francisco. The application form required a build their houses taller than the house of a great deal of information, which I had to Muslim and they had to stand in the presence research. The first thing I found was that of a Muslim. After World War II, the Jews there is not a great deal of information writ- became the property of the Iman. As such, ten on the dance form, at least not in English. they could not walk on the same side of the I began with two articles and a phone call to street as a Muslim, nor could they ride horses a Yemenite choreographer in Los Angeles. or mules. They were allowed to ride donkeys, What follows are the results of that research. but had to dismount when they met a Mus- There are several theories about how the lim. These restrictions and prohibitions were Jews began living in Yemen. The first says considered the realization of the prophetic that when the first Temple was destroyed in curse of Ezra. Despite their restrictions, the 587 B.C.É., many Jews left the Holy Land Jews were important to the economy of and settled in different places. Yemen was Yemen because, though in a patron/client one of them. When the Temple was rebuilt relationship with the imans, they were arti- prophets were sent to the Jews of Yemen tell- sans: jewelers, potters and weavers. ing them to return. They refused. Since they Though there had been a continuous refused they were subsequently cursed by the small number of Jews going from Yemen to prophet Ezra. However, the Jews of Yemen Palestine, in 1881 and 1882 several hundred proved themselves wise as the second Temple Jews left their homes in Yemen and walked to was also destroyed (70 C.E.) and the Jews Palestine. They arrived hungry and poor. were once again dispersed. A second theory They were assisted by a group of Swedish states that when Moses was traveling through and North American missionaries in Jerusa- the desert with the Hebrews, some of them, lem. Between 1911 and 1948 approximately after receiving the Torah, split off from 30,000 more Yemenites arrived from Yemen. Moses and ended up in various places like A great number of these were airlifted out of Yemen and Ethiopia. My favorite theory in- Yemen by the Israeli government in what was volves the Queen of Sheba. In short, the called Operation Magic Carpet. This airlift Queen of Sheba visited King Solomon, they fulfilled a prophecy of Isaiah that says: had an affair and the Queen bore a son. The They that wait for the Lord to renew their son returned to Solomon to visit. Solomon strength; asked him to stay, but he had promised his they shall mount up with wings as eagles. mother he would return. When Solomon realized his son would not stay, he ordered the

This content downloaded from 157.89.65.129 on Thu, 08 Jun 2017 01:08:31 UTC All use subject to http://about.jstor.org/terms culture and people I felt were my ancestors. Being passionate about the dance and pas- Grounded with this historical perspective sionate about delving into the history of the of the people, I began to look for background people took over the empty part of my life. I on the dance form itself. I found there were was no longer longing for something, I was in men's dances and women's dances. Tradition- the middle of everything, experiencing it. I ally men and women did not dance together. was driven even more by my desire to iden- Men could only dance to religious songs. tify as a Jew. Mostly their songs were in Hebrew, Arabic or The next phase of my dance research led Aramaic. A large portion of the songs was me to the development of modern Israeli based on the religious poetry of the Diwan, a dance. It was started by women. Women saw mystical/religious text. The women, on the the need for a way of uniting the increasing other hand, were not restricted in their choice population of Jews scattered throughout of songs. They were, however, prohibited what was then Palestine. They used a form of from reading, so their songs and stories were communication that had been passed down passed down via oral tradition. Women's to them through the Torah in the tradition of songs were in either Arabic or Judeo- Yemeni. the prophetess, Miriam. They took up their Subjects for women's songs included child- drum, raised their voices and danced. They birth, women's cycles, marriage and everyday went from community to community teach- life events, such as making bread or carrying ing songs and dances that were inspired by water. Both female and male traditions in- the desire to create and unify a nation. After cluded songs for religious celebrations. a time, Jewish communities, regardless of I was completely intrigued by the use of how far they were located from Tel Aviv or hands in the Yemenite movement vocabulary. Jerusalem, were singing the same songs and Whereas in other traditions the hands might dancing the same steps. This was an ex- be used to punctuate or accentuate a move- tremely powerful movement. It connected the ment, in Yemenite dancing the hands speak country and gave Jews from different coun- their own language. This is similar to the tries, with different languages and identities, function of the hand movements of the hula, a commonality. It insured that you could go most notably the traditional dance of Hawaii, from one village or city to another and have a but more closely related to the mudras of common bond with other Jews. It was an India. This sentiment was echoed in conver- embodied prayerbook. These dance pioneers sation with Los Angeles choreographer, Israel saw their form of communication cut across Yakovee. He further commented that the boundaries of language, ethnicity and eco- hand movement vocabulary was based on the nomics. In keeping with the spirit of building mudras of India, but had been influenced by a new nation, many of the songs and dances East African dance. Other characteristics of were about the land and many were dances Yemenite dance include bent knees and lower that gave thanks and praise to God. Lyrics body rocking. were often taken directly from the With this information in mind, I asked prayerbook. several of the dancers from my women's As Israel developed a stronger national circle if they were interested in putting a identity, dance took on more significance. group together and auditioning for the festi- Dance companies were formed and began val. We had a core of seven dancers. In want- touring the countryside in order to promote ing to keep the form as traditional as dance. The most famous company was Inbal, possible, I sought out women drummers and formed in the early 1950s by Sarah Levi- a woman singer. Other than the drum, the Tanai. Levi-Tanai was of Yemenite ancestry. Yemenites are forbidden to use musical in- Her family immigrated to Palestine in the struments until the Temple is re-built. early 1890's. Inbal's dances were based ex- This was more information than I could clusively on the traditions and customs of possibly fit on the audition form, but by un- Jewish communities in Yemen. The work of covering this information, I felt closer to the Inbal became the basis for authentic Israeli

88 SUMMER 2001 BRIDGES

This content downloaded from 157.89.65.129 on Thu, 08 Jun 2017 01:08:31 UTC All use subject to http://about.jstor.org/terms dance. Inbal attracted the attention of Broad- way choreographer, Jerome Robbins. He went to Israel to work with the company and As I stepped down into the mikveh at my to raise the quality of their dancing to a more conversion, I panicked because I can't swim "professional" level. and I knew I had to let go of the sides - my Out of this dance group came several entire being had to be immersed. When I left generations of prominent choreographers the mikveh with my official document saying who became leaders in the Israeli dance tradi- that I was a member of the tribe, my entire tion. Among them are Margalit Oved, who being was tingling. It was tingling from the was the lead dancer with Inbal for fifteen ghosts and memories of another lifetime, years before moving to Los Angeles and when I had lived in another place. I was no working in the UCLA dance department for longer concerned with whether or not Blacks over twenty years. When Levi-Tanai resigned and Jews got along. I was holding both of as artistic director of Inbal in 1992, Margalit those energies within myself and I knew it returned to Israel (1994) and assumed the was important to get along with myself. I had leadership role with Inbal. Margalit's return connected with a lost part of myself and I failed to put Inbal back on its feet and a year was able to embody it, embrace it. and a half later Inbal Dance Theatre folded. Being African- American and Jewish isn't I was saddened by this news. I had a dilemma. The dilemma occurs when I at- wanted to dance with them, at least to study tempt to disconnect from one or the other with them. My own group danced success- and not live as my full self. The dilemma oc- fully at the Ethnic Dance Festival Audition curs when I am not seen as my complete self. and at several other venues. The group even- Ashkenazi Jews often see me as an African- tually disbanded. I think this was because we American moving in a Jewish world or as an were all dancing for different reasons. We all Ethiopian or Yemenite Jew. African- Ameri- wanted to dance, but I believe it takes more cans never see me as Jewish. In an article in than wanting to dance to keep a company the Jerusalem Post dated May 15, 1995, together. My reason for dancing - for Margalit Oved says, "Without our culture, Yemenite dancing - was to connect to an- we have no reason to exist. If we are not con- other culture, a culture I am a part of nected with our cultural heritage, then we are through some un-scientific reasoning: I knew nothing more than wild animals." A culture, this dance, had known this dance forever. a religion, a connection that grounds me in When I saw the dance I remembered a part of who I am and where I've been: this has been myself. my journey.

This content downloaded from 157.89.65.129 on Thu, 08 Jun 2017 01:08:31 UTC All use subject to http://about.jstor.org/terms MY JEWISH JOURNEY: HOW BEING CATHOLIC HELPED MAKE ME JEWISH

By Brian M. Judd

BY MY THIRD DAY OF KINDERGARTEN, I HAD MASTERED the art of saying goodbye to my mom without crying and began enjoying the independence of half-day school. I had my desk, knew my neighbors, and had my bearings. This wasn’t going to be so bad after all. And the best part was that it was this pretty Catholic school across the street from a huge, cool church. Just when I thought I had everything fi gured out, my teacher began talking about this guy named Jesus who sounded pretty cool: the son of God, made lots of food out of nothing, and was telling people to be nice to each other. She then told us that he died on a cross for us, to save our souls from perpetual torture, and to make us free. Fear struck my heart, panic fi lled my body, and I ran out of the room with the teacher’s aide chasing me close behind. I crumpled to the fl oor sobbing, confused about this death and convinced that my classmates and I all had to die, to thank Jesus for what he did. The TA comforted me, laughing, not sure how I got this notion in my head. As she laughed, I was trying to fi gure out how there were eight other grades fi lled with students. Were they all transfer students and did no one wonder what happened to all of the kindergarteners in this ritual sacrifi ce?

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EBSCO Publishing : eBook Collection (EBSCOhost) - printed on 6/4/2017 5:44 PM via EASTERN KENTUCKY UNIV AN: 502770 ; Pervos Bregman, Stefanie.; Living Jewishly : A Snapshot of a Generation Account: s8356098 MY JEWISH JOURNEY: HOW BEING CATHOLIC HELPED MAKE ME JEWISH

This initial exposure to the story of Jesus defi nes my relationship with Catholicism: confusing, scary, and a little funny. The beginning of the end; with these fi rst steps, it’s no wonder I became a Jew. I was born the son of an Irish immigrant mother. She came to the United States at 16 to enter the sisterhood. She was a Catholic nun for 10 years, until deciding to leave and have a family outside of the religious order. A few years later, she met my father: a Southern Baptist, Korean War veteran from Texas. They married, formed a Catholic home and had my brother, a heterosexual who became an Evangelical Christian, and me, a gay man, who became Jewish. My struggle with Catholicism was life-long, although I did not have an experience like the one often depicted in exploitation movies. The schools I attended were primarily private schools, with a religion class and occasional religious services. I took years of religious education and the only elements I internalized were living your life in service and striving for social justice. The rest went in one ear and out the other. When I turned 14, my parents empowered me to engage with the Church on my own terms. So, I stopped attending church outside of school services. It was around this time that I also read The Chosen for a class. I found this world described by Chaim Potok both puzzling and intriguing. Something about the rituals and lives these people led stirred something in me. I felt strangely connected to Judaism. It seemed like a purer form of spirituality than the separated, hierarchical structure I was exposed to; a back-to-basic monotheism, if you will. I essentially played out Jewish values while engaged in Catholicism, via community service, leadership, and community building. I helped lead retreats under the banner of the high school campus ministry program, but did not give one care about Jesus and whether (H)he was present or not. Nothing against the guy, but his followers creeped me out and I thought they got in the way of the true spirituality that arises when people form bonds with one another while striving for community and social justice. As a college student, I tried to engage in the campus ministry program, but my emerging gay identity and complete disinterest in the Church sucked all the love I had for any of this community work. I then jumped head fi rst into Jesuit-inspired skepticism about everything. I had a short-lived atheist, everything-means-nothing phase, interrupted by this nagging feeling that there was, indeed, something bigger than myself at play in the world.

When I started dating men, I was drawn to one particular type: Jew! No goyim for me, even when I was one! I found my beshert. Michael and I met via a gay men’s social group. We connected immediately and have been together for 10 years. Michael and I moved in together and created a Jewish home. I had long abandoned any Catholic practices, complete with rejecting Christmas decorations, much to his delight. I had no problem with existing in a Jewish home, but was not sure if I wanted to be Jewish myself. We sought out a religious community that would meet Michael’s level of observance and would welcome me as a non-Jewish partner. No easy feat. After months of searching, we became founding members of a progressive synagogue called Kol HaNeshamah. Concurrently, Canada legalized same-sex marriage, and we married in Michael’s parents’ home in Vancouver, British Columbia. We received the fi rst auf ruf in our synagogue’s history. Shortly after, I approached our rabbi about converting to Judaism. I took the intro classes and it was all interesting and wonderful. But, I did not want to be a second class citizen under a different paradigm. I did not see how I would fi t into anything but Reform Judaism, and I had little interest in being accepting in only one slice of Jewish life. I backed away from conversion for a bit, to take space and learn more about how queer Jews exist in Judaism at-large. Two years later, on Yom Kippur, I decided that I would make the fi nal decision whether or not to convert. I did not want to disrespect my community by sitting on the fence and remaining ambivalent. Looking back, Judaism called after me all along. I struggled with the idea of converting, however, because I wasn’t sure if I would ever truly be accepted by Jews at-large. I then met a man who would become a dear friend and great infl uence in my life, in the form of a Chasidic rabbi. I found a few of his sermons/lectures on iTunes and was energized by his words and perspective on Torah. He found a way to be both Chasidic and open to existing in the general world. When I met the Rabbi, one of the fi rst things he asked me was if Michael and I were going to have children. “If you become Jewish, it will be a double-mitzvah. Get to it!” I sat stunned — an Orthodox rabbi was pressuring me and my gay husband to have children. It was then I realized that I would never be a second class citizen in Judaism. If he could exist in the Orthodox community and treat me as such an equal, then I could be a Jew. There might be individuals or groups that reject me, but if I need

a place at a Shabbat table, want to study Torah, lay tefi llin, or join a minyan, I would be considered a Jew. Period. That was all I needed; I completed my conversion studies. Six months later, I went to mikvah and offi cially became a Jew. Since then, I have co- chaired a rabbinic search process for my synagogue, I am currently the Chair of Religious Life, attend shul regularly, am engaged in the Jewish community at-large, traveled to Israel, and proudly identify as a Jew. My moment of Jesus-related trauma in kindergarten foreshadowed my relationship with Catholicism, but without the Church I would have never been prepared to become Jewish. The Catholic values of service, social justice, and community were easily transferable to Judaism. Unfortunately, as I saw it, Catholicism prepares one to die; Judaism teaches one how to live. Becoming Jewish was less about fi nding a home and more about coming home, to a place that was familiar, comfortable, and just right. I found a community where the struggle was part of the experience, an essential part of living life and growing spiritually.

Brian Judd has called Seattle, Washington home for the most part of his 33 years, where he shares his home and life with his husband of six years. Brian works as a Community Center Director for Seattle Parks and Recreation and is a cinephile, with passion spanning from Stanley Kubrick to the French New Wave to American Independent ﬁ lms. When asked by an Israeli customs agent what his favorite Jewish holiday was, he gained easy access to the homeland by truthfully replying, “Passover.”