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dangling froma treebythestraps oftheir archway onlytoseeabout five “patients” be impressed),I’m usheredthroughan mascara’d eye(MalcolmMcDowell black bowler hatandone heavily a waiter wearingawhitedoctor’s coat, names. Taking aglassofchampagne from pathway –someofthembearingdoctor’s dozen doorsplacedatintervalsalongthe event, thescreamsgetlouderasIpassa on theway totheMadHatter’s teaparty. Orange Clockwork A I feellike I’m walking intoascenefrom stringent securitychecksattheentrance, because assoonIpassthroughthe inspiration fortheentireevening – the macabrethemeforthisparty. But no, therecordedshrieksarepartof Walking down thegreencarpet intothe The divineGagaisclearlythe getting intooneofherfearsomeoutfits. guest LadyGagamay have hurtherself For aminute,Ifearthenight’s star White Tie&TiaraBallisscreaming. palatial Windsorhomeforthisyear’s hubby L hubby C and dress Marchesa (in Beckinsale Kate Sir EltonJohn andDavid Furnish’s The first thingIhearwhenarrive at hopard jewels) with jewels) with hopard supernova Champ 6.30PM-9 en Wiseman en agne viaamentalasylum pm

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still life by masterpiece Beats abitpartin they wereallactorswhoaresafe andwell. splutter my champagne.Don’t worry: straitjackets. Theshockcausesmeto wearing Dolce & Gabbana–I’m lucky and morethanhappytotalkfashion. “I’m on-screen .He’s friendly, chatty person, he’s by starstruck guests. Icanseewhy –in Mr Schuester) beinggiven theonce-over encounter Matthew Morrison (aka before, she’s great”. smiles: “Ilike Gagaalot. I’ve seenher about LadyGagaperformingtonight?He in aflurryofcameraflashes. Ishe excited says), Jon BonJovi arrives with hisfamily and seeingwhateveryone iswearing,” she Curran (“I’m loving having anosy around with: “Hi,we’re married!”Aww. hubby LenWiseman.David greets them Kate Beckinsale andherfilmdirector they immediatelyspyaMarchesa-clad Lara Stone(inredCalvinKlein)arrive, David Walliams model wife and his goddess stardust tomake meneedsunglasses. As enormous gardenisaglow withenough At theother endofthegarden,I After chatting toanawestruck Alex Just ahead,IcanseethatSirElton’s so and her mum S mum her and muchsexierthanhis Gleeful triumvirate: triumvirate: Gleeful Holby City Holby Kelly Osbourne Osbourne Kelly with S with ir E ir haron haron . lton lton

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’s ’s Grant hat Grant aV with dress & Gabbana aDolce works Faith S inger Paloma Paloma inger E regular Tie White V lizabeth Hurley lizabeth alentino with with alentino ictoria ictoria evening… to the theme mad aslightly was There

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Underneath her Viktor & Inside story Sharon (with Kid Rolf cage mask, Lady Rock): ‘I only got Gaga (with Sir Elton and in from LA last entrepreneur Diana Jenkins) The goth glam night. Then I fails to keep a poker face marquee come here and there are people hanging in trees!’

Naomie Harris SMALL TALK with Jessica in Kelly gets cheeky with Lowndes they hooked me up with a fantastic wooden crutch strung up. Plus some Looking good, Jess! ‘ is Alberta Ferretti and looking suit,” he tells me. He then confides abandoned beds. I later discover this is the I’m wearing Bulgari jewels with that he’s looking forward to not having to place to hang – yep, it’s the smoking area. Gina heels that kept sinking sing tonight. What, there’ll be no Lady Inside the marquee, things take an even into the grass.’ Gaga mash-up? “No, I’m off the clock darker turn. The walls are black (as are the Love the beauty shoot tonight,” he laughs. “I’m going to enjoy tablecloths), the flowers on the table are a you’ve done for us [see page myself and have a few drinks.” deep crimson and the crockery and cutlery 172]. ‘That was such great fun – I loved all the lipsticks. It was look like they’re a leftover from a medieval very “sexy goth”.’ 9pm–midnight banquet. It’s as if I’m in a gothic church You seem to always be in DINNER IS SERVED styled by . Two tables away, London… ‘I’m here because Just as I’m about to walk up the path into I see the Dolce model David Gandy (he of I’m recording an album. the marquee for dinner, I almost trip over the white undies and godlike body fame) Hopefully, it’ll be out by the end of the year.’ Alan Carr standing near a statue with a with stunning MTV presenter Laura bandage around its head. “Ooh, hello!” he Whitmore and, just behind me, I spy Alice says, giving me a trademark toothy grin. Eve, whose low-cut dress more than shows “It’s such a good night, isn’t it?” After off the assets that had a starring role in I remark on the hotness of Mr Morrison, Sex and the City 2. he giggles: “I know. He was on my show There’s a slight commotion as Grace SMALL TALK with SMALL TALK with recently, so we’re basically !” Jones enters wearing a sculptural hat Matthew Kelly Sauntering off to find pal Gok Wan, he that’d have your eye out if you dared to get Morrison

Osbourne quips, “See you later for the slow dance”. too close. She says, “Ooh, classical”. (I’m What were you doing Loving the dress! ‘Thanks InStyle’s today pre-party? ‘I had two On the way inside, I find myself not sure if she’s talking about the music – it’s Dolce & Gabbana. I’m so shining star meetings, then I was in a excited they sent it to me, Danielle sandwiched behind David and Lara, with coming through the speakers or people’s recording studio writing a song. because three days ago, I had Hine g e Lulu bringing up the rear. The entire time, slightly comical reaction to her entrance.) I’ve got an album nothing to wear.’ the newlyweds walk with arms entwined As the guests devour scrambled eggs around November.’ It’s nice you’ve come with around each other: ah, the honeymoon with Mottra caviar and truffle; Cumbrian The UK loves . ‘I didn’t your mum Sharon. ‘The period – you can’t beat it. lamb and chocolate bombes with peanut- expect it – it’s been awesome. only thing is, we’re both You guys love a bit of !’ As we walk through an archway made of butter ice cream, there are sudden cheers wearing Dolce! We didn’t Are you looking forward even plan it. It’s another twigs (“I hope these don’t tear my dress as Lady Gaga enters. She’s sparkling in to Gaga? ‘I’ve met her – she’s a harsh realisation that I’m off!” Lulu remarks), we enter what looks eight pieces of Chopard jewellery (worth normal, really cool woman. I saw turning into my mother.’ like a hospital laundry room with lines of more than £3m) and a diaphanous gown her perform at this year’s Met Ball and she was incredible.’

by w ire ima g rap h by a dd itio n al p h oto damp hospital gowns, towels and even a with white bra and matching knickers See more Matthew on page 158

60 / SEPTEMBER 2010 Inside story Gaga gets carried away… literally

Gaga’s inThe Fabulous Baker She’s my hero – Boys impression ladies and gentlemen, the biggest music star on the planet Sir Elton introduces Lady Gaga

by new Italian designer Francesco Scognamiglio with a gilded “cage” by Viktor & Rolf over her face. (Let’s hope outfits – from a white bra and thong (that she’s not going to attempt to eat dinner.) her dancers smear with blood) to the She heads straight to Sir Elton’s table, studded underwear from the “Telephone” where she spends most of the night video (she intros the song, “When I was chatting with ’ Jake Shears. backstage, Beyoncé called me. Goddamn, How to look At around 11pm, the auction begins. hooker!”) and a see-through cape and hat good nude: Trinny Woodall works Along with the ticket sales and pledges that seem to be made out of bubble wrap, the barely there from the evening, it raises money for the plus the final look, a sparkly white leotard; colour trend Elton John Aids Foundation, whose and the sexual gymnastics (“I love the mission is to help people infected, affected gays,” she purrs, as she lies and at risk of HIV/Aids around the world. arching her back and grinding her crotch Party on! This year, a limited-edition Chopard up near a male dancer’s rather, ahem, Get the inside scoop Tiger watch and an Audi A1 customised by awe-inspiring groin). There’s even a on the most glamorous parties at artist are among the auction duet of “” with Sir Elton. instyle.co.uk/ lots snapped up by well-heeled guests. This evening, 360 jeroboams of Veuve celebrity Clicquot champagne have been drunk; 12.30AM–1.15am 680 meals have been served; millions of EVERYONE GOES GAGA pounds worth of Chopard jewels have “She’s been here rehearsing for two days; been worn; and £5.6million has been ladies and gentleman, it’s my hero, the raised for the Elton John Aids Foundation biggest music star on the planet, Lady (hurrah!). Now, it’s time to make like Alan Carr (with Gaga!” Sir Elton announces. Even the Cinderella and go home. Hmm, wonder Gok Wan): ‘I’m most elegantly dressed ladies hoick their what I’ll wear next year.... wearing a D&G jacket with high evening gowns up to rush to the stage. For more information about the Elton street – I have to,

And we get the full Gaga spectacle: the John Aids Foundation, visit ejaf.com I’m with Gok’ epix g rap h by a dd itio n al p h oto

62 instyle / SEPTEMBER 2010