Hidilyn Diaz DEFINING MOMENTS

Words by Tricia Quintero Photography by Lawrence Tapalla

Athletes are remembered and celebrated by their winning moments – Michael Phelps’ record- breaking eighth gold medal during the 4x100-meter medley in the 2008 Beijing Olympics; Muhammad Ali’s TKO victory over Joe Frazier in 1975’s Thrilla in ; and Michael Jordan’s game-winning jumper – his last in Bulls uniform – that clinched their third straight championship during the closing seconds of Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals.

For Hidilyn Diaz, this moment was when she successfully lifted 111 kg and 112 kg during her first and second attempts, respectively, in the Clean and Jerk Weightlifting Competition of the 2016 Olympics.

Bringing home an Olympic silver medal and ending the ’ 20-year podium-finish drought revitalized the fervor and hype that Filipinos have for the much-coveted World Olympics. And to top it all off, all these she accomplished in the male-dominated sport of weightlifting.

But amidst the glory and spotlight that comes from being a successful athlete also comes the hours, months, and years spent in training and countless nights spent nursing injuries and pain. The not-so-common angles through which we view athletes are oftentimes overlooked in favor of focusing on the triumphs and the highs. More often than not, however, these stories are what can make the achievements of an athlete all the more worth celebrating.

And this is exactly what we did one cloudy Thursday afternoon in a quaint café, five minutes away from the Rizal Memorial Sports Complex in the busy, concrete jungle that Hidilyn Diaz has learned to call home – Manila. Straight from her rigorous three-hour morning training, Hidilyn arrived and greeted us with so much enthusiasm. Despite her busy life of juggling between training as an Olympian by day and being a Business Management freshman at the De La Salle College of Saint Benilde at night, she made time for a quick chat with me over our iced coffee. Here, she looked back on her humble beginnings and shared her thoughts and feelings towards weightlifting, the Olympics, and success, and gave us a bit of a glimpse of her future plans.

Parts of this interview have been translated from Filipino to English.

24 When people hear “Hidilyn Diaz” they usually associate opportunities I got out of it – specifically the money, it with your Rio Olympics 2016 win, but all stories of the scholarship grants, and the opportunities to go to triumph have even more interesting beginnings, can different places that otherwise I wouldn’t be able to you tell us how you first got into weightlifting? do. So I kept joining competitions until I entered the Philippine National Team and represented our country My weightlifting career was actually born out of curiosity in international competitions. I think that’s the time because I remember when I was younger, I would always that I learned to see weightlifting for more than just the see my cousins doing it. I saw them carrying bars, and so opportunities that it could give me. I got intrigued. I thought, “Why not try it as well?” It also helped a lot that I came from a family of weightlifters. The most ironic thing, I think, is that I realized that I loved it We, my cousins and I, are actually the third generation of when I was on the verge of being kicked out of the National weightlifters in the family so it’s a pretty common thing Team. That was in 2014 when I suffered a knee injury that for us to do already. We all started out with makeshift negatively affected my mindset. I started to have so many barbells made out of wood and cement. We would carry doubts about myself. As a result, my performance suffered, those and learn from our older cousin, my first coach and I wasn’t able to make it in the . I also lost Catalino Diaz Jr. my coach, and I was so close to being removed from the Philippine National Team lineup. I felt so lost, and I didn’t I kept doing it, and later on I learned to enjoy it. I felt that know what to do because for the longest time, I dedicated I really belong in this world compared to other sports I my life to weightlifting. That’s all I ever knew. I felt useless tried – basketball, badminton – I didn’t excel in those. in the weightlifting world. And that’s when I realized But with weightlifting, I just kept on training, and soon what it has done for me. It was more than the money, the I reached the point where I could even beat my male recognition, and all the opportunities. It actually gave me a cousins (laughs). role and a place in this world. It gave me a sense of purpose. That’s when I knew that I love weightlifting. I couldn’t leave Was it love at first try? that world. I couldn’t bear the thought of not doing it.

To be honest, it took a long while before I could say that So even when I was suffering from the knee injury, I didn’t Shot in Rizal Memorial Sports Complex I was in love with weightlifting. Coming from a family let it stop me. I kept training. I wanted to prove to the people in Manila City. that’s not well-off, I did it mainly because of the many around me that I could do it and how badly I wanted it.

27 What do you love most about weightlifting?

It’s a constant love-hate relationship actually. I love The road to training and the not-so-little, little things like setting a goal with your coach and achieving them. I love seeing Rio made me my efforts come to life, especially during competitions because during preparations, I would doubt myself a lot – I’m quite the pessimist, you see – so when I get to prove realize that to to myself that I can do it by winning in competitions, it’s such a priceless feeling. It makes me want to do more. be a champion, I The hate is from the constant pain that comes with everyday training. It’s excruciating, and also frustrating couldn’t do it alone. especially during the days when I’m not in my one hundred percent condition. I don’t reach my goals It’s not just me. all the time. I have days when I’m low – physically, emotionally, and mentally. Sometimes, you just hit that point where you know you can do more, but for some reason you just can’t perform. And those moments really take a toll on me. What’s the best part about being an athlete?

On days that you don’t reach your goals or fail in some The best part about being an athlete is when I go out there way, what do you do to bounce back? and represent our country in international competitions. It’s humbling and such a privilege to wear the Philippine I usually just cry it out. I try to understand myself, where National Team’s jacket. You are carrying your country I’m coming from. I try not to be too hard on myself. There on your back. And every time I make a podium finish, are just times when you’re down, and there’s nothing you I want to scream “I’m a Filipino!” at the top of my lungs. can do about it but be there for yourself. I try to indulge It just gives you so much pride and excitement for your go through in order to compete for the Olympics. This because I knew my time for preparations wasn’t enough. myself with the things I want – especially sweets (laughs). country. also means that I had little to zero chances of winning. Knowing myself, I needed at least three months to But then again, I need to discipline myself because I’m The main point of being a wildcard is experience and prepare or even more. trying to maintain my weight. Speaking of the National Team, how did you become exposure to the Olympics stage. But I was disappointed a part of it? at my performance then because I wasn’t able to hit the But I pushed through anyway. I was the flagbearer An example was when I came back from Rio, because score that I wanted – the score that my coach and I set for our country this time. The Olympics experience after the Olympics I stopped training for four months, My journey to becoming part of the National Team prior, but I remember telling myself that I am going was fun, especially being surrounded by your fellow and when I got back to the grind, I had to adjust again. started during my second competition where I won silver to come back for the 2012 Olympics stronger. I wasn’t athletes and being in a different country. The result of I gained a bit of weight so I had to drop a few kilos. in the National Five-in-One Championships. I was happy, going to be just a wildcard competitor anymore; I would my performance, however, wasn’t, because I got zero in That’s one of the hardest things actually – getting back but I remember telling myself that I don’t want to settle go through the qualifying rounds and prove myself. The the Clean and Jerk competition. If you watch the video to the routine and discipline it takes to be an athlete for a silver, I wanted to win gold. After that, I trained focus then was to qualify for the 2012 London Olympics. coverage of my performance, you’ll see me crying then. I after being gone for quite some time. I had a glimpse of hard for my third competition, the Mindanao Friendship told myself I’ll bounce back, but I felt so embarrassed and the “normal” life for a time, and by then I kept asking Games in 2003. This time, I won gold. Because of my Onto the 2012 London Olympics, what was the ashamed. I mean, who wouldn’t, right? You’re competing myself, “Do I really want this? Am I willing to endure good performance during that competition, I got scouted. difference this time around? in the world stage – the Olympics – and then you get a everything all over again?” By 2004, I was part of the Philippine National Team. I zero? I cried non-stop for two weeks. started joining various international competitions by that Well for one, I wasn’t a wildcard contender anymore. But by the time I joined and won silver at AIMAG (Asian time, like the SEA Games. And then finally I got my first I was a qualified contender because I went through How did you pick yourself back up after what Indoor and Martial Arts Games) last September 2017, I Olympics break in 2008 in Beijing. the rigorous rounds. The way the Olympics works is happened in the 2012 Olympics? found myself saying, “Yes, I want this,” because once again, through points system. You can’t just decide to join the I shut the doubtful voice in my head by proving that I How was that like – your first ever Olympics in Beijing? Olympics; you have to earn it. There were so many I owe a lot to the people around me for giving me hope am capable of doing great things. Like with everything, games to play and so many other players to beat to get again. Even when I was already filled with doubts because the beginning is always the hardest. Then the next thing During the 2008 Beijing Olympics, I was just a wildcard to the stage. So I got past that. However, I found out of my performance, they never stopped believing in me. would be how you maintain it, but I tell myself that I contender. As a wildcard contender, I didn’t go through that I qualified for the 2012 London Olympics just two Like I said, I’m more of a pessimist, but because they have done it before, so I can definitely do it again. the series of qualifying rounds that one normally has to months before the event. I was happy but also scared, were showering me with encouraging words, I was

28 29 able to slowly get my rhythm back. The overwhelming I tend to be so emotional back then it was so easy for me on for Rio was my mental toughness and my mindset. that was the way to go, but you know things change, and support I had also contributed to my stronger mindset. to crack and to let the pressure and the negative things I worked really hard to change that. I read articles and look where I am now (laughs). Admittedly, during the 2012 Olympics, my mental people say about me get to my head. books on how to improve psychological and mental toughness wasn’t as strong as I wanted it to be. Apart resilience. I became more self-aware. I’m thankful, too, Other than the suggestion of your friend, what pushed from physical training, mental preparation is just as That changed for 2016. The road to Rio made me realize because I’ve been surrounded by supportive people you further to drop the weight? important in the Olympics or in any competition for that to be a champion, I couldn’t do it alone. I needed throughout my journey to Rio 2016. But I also owe a lot that matter. You have to believe in yourself and cast your people like sports psychologists, nutritionists, strength to the personal relationship I established with God. That I was convinced by my coaches and the heads. They doubts aside. It won’t do you good. and conditioning coaches, and physical therapists to really changed me. didn’t want to let us train or compete if winning is not succeed. It’s not just me. It takes a whole team to do our end goal. And I guess they, too, saw the potential What were your key takeaways from Beijing and great and be the best athlete I could be. It takes a team Was there any significant change with how you did in me dropping to 53 kilograms so I did my part and London and how did it affect your preparation for Rio? to be a champion even for a single-person sport like your training from London 2012 to Rio 2016? eventually strived for 53 kilos. weightlifting. During the 2008 Beijing Olympics, I was too young. I Top of mind was me dropping weight because Thank God I did because a lot of opportunities opened didn’t know much. I was a wildcard, and I didn’t have I became open to other people’s ideas, especially when everything else followed after that. It wasn’t a deliberate doors for me. I won gold in the Southeast Asian that much experience. That was only the beginning. It they’re experts on the matter because everything that I decision, though, I just dropped weight because I started Weightlifting Championships – which helped a lot in my wasn’t much; I had no chances of winning, but it was my do could have a huge effect on my performance. I listened eating healthy and taking my diet seriously. I weighed road to Rio 2016. I learned to appreciate my achievements first glimpse of the Olympics world. to nutritionists when they told me what I should eat, to 56 kilograms at that time, and I kept training. My target more, to take pride in it because I knew how much I physical therapists when they told me how to improve actually was to increase my weight to 58 kilograms, but worked hard to get it. It wasn’t all smiles and glory, to be For the 2012 London Olympics, on the other hand, my shoulder mobility, and to my coaches on what I one day my friend saw me at training – she noticed that honest. I found it really difficult to drop weight. I can’t I guess I can say that I was more prepared. I had more should and shouldn’t do. It was a more holistic approach my game has improved, but she could see me doing explain how difficult it was to hone self-discipline and experience prior. I was a qualifier, but looking back to my training unlike before where my focus is just doing better if I dropped three more kilos. She told me, “Why self-control especially whenever I would see the people now, I wasn’t open yet to new ideas and to new people things by myself. not go for 53 kilos instead? You have better chances there.” At around me eating sweets – my favorite – but of course, then. I isolated myself, and I would train alone. I wasn’t first I didn’t want to do it because I had a goal in mind I couldn’t. Discipline really is one of the most important confident. I had so many doubts. I wasn’t mentally tough; But I guess one of the most important things I improved already, and that was to reach 58 kilograms. I thought things you need to learn as an athlete.

30 31 I can be better. I still have so much to show the world.

What is the most challenging part of training for the Olympics?

Ah, everyday (laughs). But I guess it’s maintaining that discipline and dedication. As an athlete, you have to follow a routine. You can’t just train when you feel like it. You have to do it every day. You have a schedule, and you have to stick with it – even the time of your meals!

It’s also about sharpening my focus, keeping my eyes on the goal, and maintaining consistency with what I do. Training can get repetitive, but that’s something I know I have to endure. Even if my muscles already feel so sore and burnt, I have to train and I have to reach my number of repetitions every day. Olympics is no joke; you need determination. You have to accept the fact that enduring pain is part of the road to success.

As for the external factors, it’s dealing with homesickness. My family is in Zamboanga, and I’ve been based in Manila since 2010, but there were times that I miss them so much I just wanted to go back. But whenever I go back to my achievements and see that all my sacrifices eventually bear fruit, I feel better. I just know that everything is worth it.

What about your favorite part?

This may sound weird, but it’s whenever I am on the verge of quitting, but I don’t. It’s during those times when I would cry my heart out, and my coaches would surround me and comfort me. They would encourage me to let it all out and tell me that what I’m feeling is normal. After that, I feel better. The next day, I perform well, and I am proven, time and time again, that the feeling of hopelessness is temporary – that’s the best part, renewing your inner strength and knowing that you have a solid support system even though they, too, feel the weight of pressure on their shoulders.

32 34 35 What challenges did you face for Rio 2016? were training there every day, and their numbers have increased so they couldn’t fit there anymore. The lot next I had to face the backlash and the bashing, coming from to our house was up for sale, and I wanted so badly to buy my lackluster 2012 London Olympics performance. I it and to build a gym there. I was asking around for help had a lot of doubters. People were pessimistic about my in funding. I was willing to withdraw all the money that chances, about what I could do. And to be honest, that I had in order to make it happen. I was so desperate, but got to me a bit, but by that time I’ve learned to handle it didn’t push through. negativity better so I just focused on what I came to Rio for. I made a promise to myself that I had to win in the 2016 Olympics so I can have money to build the gym. So that But the biggest one would be my shoulder injury. Now, became my inspiration to work hard for Rio – the kids of my shoulders are better, but back then in the Olympics, Mampang, because I could see what weightlifting can do the pain was almost unbearable. I don’t think a lot for them. I saw how it could change their lives, as much of people knew that, but when I competed for Rio, I as it changed mine, and I just wanted to give them the was suffering from a serious shoulder injury. I got it same opportunities I had. It’s fulfilling to see how much during the IWF World Weightlifting Championships the sport can make them happy and how it can impact way back in 2015. Since then, my shoulders would hurt them in the long term. so bad. It came to a point where I almost couldn’t lift anymore, but I didn’t give up. I didn’t want to. I was That’s why I was so happy when I finally opened the thinking of quitting, but I carried on. I just told myself gym on October 8, 2017. Seeing the kids train there I’d quit after Rio. and getting access to the facilities that will help them be better athletes made everything worth it. But given that you’re still training now, what changed your mind about quitting after Rio? Building my weightlifting gym in Mampang, is a way to solidify weighlifting as a sport in our I just know that I could do more (than my Rio 2016 area. It is also my way of giving back to my country. Olympics performance). That wasn’t my best yet; I can be You know, as an athlete it is so easy to demand what we better. I still have so much to show the world. should get, but it is also important to keep in mind what we can give in return. When you won that silver medal in Rio, how did it feel? You’ve brought pride, joy, and an Olympic medal to Ah, I can’t really explain it. I was so happy. I couldn’t the country – a truly amazing feat, but personally how believe it. I was contented with a podium finish, but a would you define success? silver? Now that’s one big bonus. God’s amazing. It made me so proud to be a Filipino, to be representing our Success is the great story that most people see. For country. I was crying my eyes out – all the work I did, the an athlete, it’s what most people remember you for – Success is reaching the peak, pain, the sacrifices, finally paid off. the number of championships you’ve had, the points you scored, or the medals you’ve won. You’re right to I’m sure everyone is really proud of what you’ve point out that people usually associate me as Hidilyn achieving your goal after achieved, but away from the Olympics talk, what made Diaz, the Rio 2016 silver medalist. But what most fail you decide to open your own gym in Mampang? to fully grasp is that I wouldn’t be able to reach that working on it for a long time. achievement had I not failed in 2008 and 2012, learned My dream of opening my own weightlifting gym in from both events, and bounced back. I wouldn’t be a Mampang started in 2012, after the Olympics. Since I silver medalist if I didn’t endure the pain of my injuries It’s not overnight. It might lost, I was flooded with worries about continuity. I kept or the longing for my family back home. Success is great. asking myself, “Who would replace me in representing the Success is reaching the peak, achieving your goal after not even be over a year. It Philippines in the Olympic stage?” That was my frustration. working on it for a long time. But you can’t get there So when I saw that there were a lot of kids in Mampang without sacrifices, pain, failures, and preparations. who were interested in weightlifting, I built a gym in our That’s the most important thing people need to learn takes time. backyard so they could train properly. But then in 2015, about success. It’s not overnight. It might not even be the backyard gym started to deteriorate because the kids over a year. It takes time.

36 37 What is the key to achieving it? monitoring personnel. What they’re doing now is studying me as an athlete. Whatever findings they have I believe that hard work beats talent because I am proof of on me will be used to train the next batch of Philippine this. Objectively, I’m not a good athlete. In fact, I am very athletes. clumsy, and I don’t have the most flawless technique. But what I do have is consistency because I do it every day. To be honest there’s a lot of pressure on my part. I can’t I work for it day in and day out. I don’t give up. I don’t promise that I’ll get the gold, but I want everyone to know quit. I take training seriously. I value every opportunity I that I am doing everything I can. I am dedicating my life, get to be in the gym training. everything that I do, to the Tokyo 2020 victory. That’s our team’s long-term goal. I can’t please everybody, but I do Where do you see yourself headed next? know that I’m doing my best. That’s where my focus is.

I can’t tell for sure because there’s still more or less two After that, I’d probably retire. I need to live a little years to go before the World Olympics, but what I can (laughs). say with certainty is that I’m aiming for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. In fact, we already have a team that’s working — with me in preparation for that. The team is composed You can follow Hidilyn Diaz on these pages: of sports psychologists, my coaches, nutritionists, strength hidilyndiaz.ph / Instagram: @hidilyndiaz and conditioning instructors, physical therapists, and

38 39