TITLE IX COORDINATOR

Someone I know has been sexually assaulted. Help someone you care about.

It’s not always easy to know what to differently. The best thing you can say when someone tells you they’ve do is to believe them. been sexually assaulted, especially when that person is a family “You are not alone.” member, friend, or loved one. Remind the survivor that you are Consider the following ways of there for them and willing to listen to Report a showing support: their story. Remind them there are other people in their life who care Sexual Assault and that there are service providers Listen. Be there. Dr. Tim Gossen Communicate without judgment. who will be able to support them as Vice President for Student Affairs they recover from the experience. 507-457-1597 [email protected] “I’m sorry this happened.” “Are you open to seeking Acknowledge that the experience has medical attention?” affected their life. Phrases like “This The survivor might need medical Dr. Marisa Quinn must be really tough for you,” and, attention, even the event happened Asst. Vice President for “I’m so glad you are sharing this with a while ago. You can support the Student Affairs me,” help to communicate empathy. survivor by offering to accompany 507-457-1781 them or find more information. It’s [email protected] “It’s not your fault.” okay to ask directly, “Are you open to Survivors may blame themselves, seeking medical care?” Tracy Lehnertz especially if they know the Interim Title IX Coordinator perpetrator personally. Remind the “You can trust me.” 507-457-1694 survivor, maybe even more than If a survivor opens up to you, it [email protected] means they trust you. Reassure them once, that they are not to blame. that you can be trusted and will respect their privacy. Always ask the Scott Walker “I believe you.” survivor before you share their story Interim Deptuty Title IX It can be extremely difficult for with others. Coordinator survivors to come forward and share 507-457-8700 their story. They may feel ashamed, [email protected] “This doesn’t change how concerned that they won’t be I think of you.” believed, or worried they’ll be Some survivors are concerned that blamed. Leave any “why” sharing what happened will change questions or investigations to the the way other people see them, experts. Your job is to support this especially a partner. Reassure the person. Be careful not to interpret survivor that surviving sexual calmness as a sign that the event did violence doesn’t change the way you not occur. Everyone responds think or feel about them. Continued Support

There’s no timetable when it comes to Remember that the healing process recovering from sexual violence. If is fluid. Everyone has bad days. Don’t someone trusted you enough to interpret flashbacks, bad days, or disclose the event to you, consider the silent spells as “setbacks.” It’s all part following ways to show your of the process. continued support. Know your resources. You’re a strong Check in periodically. The event may supporter, but that doesn’t mean have happened a long time ago, but you’re equipped to manage someone that doesn’t mean the pain is gone. else’s health. Become familiar with Check in with the survivor to remind resources you can recommend to a someone you care about. It can them you still care about their well- survivor, like the Women’s Resource continue to be difficult as time goes on being and believe their story. Center (Winona) 507-452-4453, the and the survivor begins the healing Sexual Violence Center (Twin Cities) process. You can call the National Avoid judgment. It can be difficult to 612-871-5111, or the National Sexual Sexual Assault Hotline at watch a survivor struggle with the Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE (4673) 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit at effects of sexual assault (e.g., and online.rainn.org. online.rainn.org to chat with someone depression, flashbacks, post-traumatic who understands what you’re going stress) for an extended period of time. It’s important that you take care of through. You can also consider talking Avoid phrases that suggest they’re yourself, too. Maintain your lifestyle, to someone who is trained taking too long to recover such as, reach out and talk about it, make plans professionally to help you deal with “You’ve been acting like this for a for activities, and take time to relax. these thoughts and feelings, like a while now,” or “How much longer will It’s normal to have a difficult time mental health professional. you feel this way?” processing the sexual assault of

Confidential Online External Resources Reporting Christina Uribe Nitti Resources (offers confidential reporting) Director, Health Services The Advocacy Center of Winona 507-457-1492 507-452-4453 (24-hour hotline) Sexual Assault Report [email protected]

Julie Buege Winona County Police Department Staff Nurse, Health Services 507-457-6302 507-457-1492 [email protected] National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE (4673)

Kathryn Freihammer online.rainn.org (Rape Abuse Incest Counselor, Counseling Services National Network) 507-457-1773 [email protected]

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