Established in 1964 TUESDAY 21 JUNE 2005 www.nouse.co.uk

Be the boss STUDENT ENTREPENEURS Pages M2- M5

ASECRETUniversity report has been uncovered by nouse, which reveals that the Heslington East plans are so flawed, that there are now even louder calls for an independent The real public enquiry into the suspect nature of the development. The Vice-Chancellor has refused to accept a dossier of concerns which reasons nouse has compiled on the development, which includes the suppressed report and a range of statements and crticisms from local residents, aca- demic staff and students. for York’s Admin have reacted angrily to our findings by pressurising nouse jour- nalists, accusing them incorrectly of being in breach of their “media code of conduct” and expansion unprofessional behaviour for attempting to hand the documents to Cantor. However, four senior Government ministers; John Prescott, Margaret Beckett, Ruth Kelly and Bill Rammall have all accepted the Heslington East Dossier from nouse for their consideration and meanwhile concerns have taken on a national dimension, despite the inflexible stance of the University. The University has a poor case for expansion into greenbelt land and this, nouse can reveal, is undermined by three major issues: Firstly, the unrealistic requirement to make 5,000 students stay in campus accommoda- tion for the duration of their degree; secondly, plans for 38 per cent of Campus three to be a busi- ness site (to fund the whole project) and finally a serious disregard for environmental concerns.

Inside Full report into the roles of University officials Plans for Public Enquiry headed by John Prescott What you can do to help fight Hes East Sponsored by NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 2 News Snappy Snaps 21st June 2005 Heslington East proposal fatally

By Simon Davis live together on the ‘Friends’ NEWS EDITOR model, and has not released any plans to do so for Heslington YORK UNIVERSITY has East. been accused of ‘losing the The preference is to build plot’ by a senior academic over single hotel room cells, without its plans for Heslington East, communal lounges, which which requires students to live maximise income from confer- on campus for the course of ence guests. their degree, when its own Dr. Jeffrey Stern, one of report shows this is impractical. the local residents heading the The forty-five page report, campaign against Heslington condemned as “shoddy work”, East, to whom we showed the has not been made public by report, said that one major the University as the implication is that the Accommodation Officer, David University won’t be able to Maughan, insisted that it was stop students from wanting to still being considered for move off campus, away from release by the University. what he has described as a This report which nouse “boring open prison”. This secretly obtained, shows the influx of students would drown Student Housing Preferences the local housing market, push- study was done too late, the ing up rents and forcing out methods flawed and if its local residents. observations are ignored, Dr. Stern expressed con- expansion plans could prompt a cern that this report concluded housing crisis throughout York. that private landlords were It has exposed the attracting more students than University’s poor record of the University and commented: addressing the housing needs of “Private landlords have already current York students, and taken the initiative both in shows that it is failing to pro- offering lower prices and vide enough accommodation greater facilities, and are run- for its current students. In 1995 ning rings round University 58 per cent of students were plans – a typical case of quick- provided for, a figure which has witted private enterprise defeat- since dropped to 43 per cent. ing ponderous public institu- Despite its poor record, tions.” The University of York have He fears that if Campus assured the Council that they Three goes ahead, it could are committed to housing the spark a “feeding frenzy” with additional 5,000 students landlords buying up houses for Heslington East will bring. students at an unprecedented However, the report shows that rate. This already is a serious students consistently leave problem in Badger Hill, campus after their first year, Heslington Road and parts of From top to bottom: John with only ten per cent of second Fulford and Fishergate. Prescott, Ruth Kelly and years choosing to stay on cam- Following the environ- Bill Rammell Simon Davis, News Editor, presents Margaret Beckett with Heslington East dossier pus and fourteen percent of mental concerns of Dr. Richard third years. Firn, of the Biology away from the city, which adds that this could be an excellent for a repeated survey by an online based survey. The most controversial Department, reported in the last fuel to the argument of building model. independent group on a larger The survey, which he statistics in the report reveal edition of nouse, this report some of the new campus on In light of this report, Dr. sample (only 29 per cent believes should have been per- that 84 per cent of off-campus even gives legitimacy to dis- existing brownfield sites, in Firn remarked, “to plough on responded), with standard formed before the University respondents in the survey want- carded plans of building on buildings which are subject with a weak case could just interviews taken over a long assured the Council it could ed to continue renting with sites in the city centre, instead dedicated, with accommoda- involve the University in lots of period and professional review house all its new students, actu- friends in flats in their next of using up valuable greenbelt tion halls or groups of flats costs and maybe a failure to get techniques. He has castigated ally manifestly shows the year. However, the University land. nearby. The successful example full permission. What a waste the survey as flawed, because University doing its market has not in the past built flats for A third of students found of the Centre for Medieval of money that would be.” of the largely female response research after it has launched groups of students who want to it to be a disadvantage to be Studies at King’s Manor shows Dr. Stern is now calling and the limited nature of an its product.

21st June 2005 in this issue www.nouse.co.uk Grimston House (V/X/010) NEWS DEPUTY: FILM EDITOR: LISTINGS EDITOR: Vanbrugh College Toby Green Tom King Hannah Burnham News 1-7 University of York Heslington COMMENT EDITOR: FILM DEPUTY: CARTOONIST: Politics 8-9 York Daniel Fairbrother Olly Chadwick Rob Taylor YO10 5DD Comment 10-12 FEATURES EDITORS: ARTS EDITORS: SPORTS EDITOR: Tel: 01904 434425 Becky Mitchell Anna Fletcher Luke Chiverton Email: [email protected] Rachel Ringstead Nan Langfeldt-Flory Sport 13-16 SPORTS DEPUTY: EDITOR: FEATURES DEPUTY: ARTS DEPUTY: Daniel Whitehead Crossword 15 Lauren Carter Joanne Grant Rebecca Hammond WEB EDITOR: Student businesses M2-M5 DEPUTY EDITORS: POLITICS EDITOR: CHIEF COLUMNIST: Adam Roney Elliot Taylor Jessica Levy Robbie Dale Heloise Wood WEB DEPUTY: Summer fashion M6-M7 POLITICS DEPUTY: SCIENCE COLUMNIST: Emma Gawen PRODUCTION MANAGER: Amit Thaker Luke Boulter Fightstar interview M9 Toby Hall STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: MUSIC EDITORS: B & R EDITORS: Georgi Mabee At a glance M12-M13 MANAGING DIRECTOR: Laurence Newman Danusia Borucka Jonathan McCarthy Chris Spillane Flora Bradwell Reviews M19-M22 ADVERTISING MANAGER: MUSIC DEPUTY: B & R DEPUTY: Stefan Wojtulewicz Lucy Peden Vicky Hallam The views expressed in this The last word M23 Get on your bike. Change publication are not necessarily NEWS EDITOR: MUSE EDITOR: LAST WORD EDITOR: those of the editorial board, Listings M24 the world for a fiver M8 Simon Davis Post Open David Cole writers or advertisers NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 21st June 2005 Snappy Snaps News 3 flawed but University press on ‘SU President is just a puppet of the University’

By Simon Davis and Richard Firn, from the Biology Lauren Carter Department, commented: “The scale of the Science City is YORK STUDENTS feel they clearly described in the plan- are not being represented by ning documents, of which there their SU President who has are copies in the library if the swallowed wholesale admin’s SU Pres ever decides to read ideas about Campus Three. them. To be ignorant of that Alexander has belittled student aspect of the scheme is to campaigns against the campus betray a lack of serious study.” development and has explicitly When asked what his stated that he does not support opinion was on Dr. Firn’s them. extensive environmental con- Alexander is convinced cerns for the development of that Heslington East students Heslington East as reported in will want to stay on campus for the last edition of nouse, the duration of their course, Alexander stressed that he did which will be assured he says not remember any of these “by agreeing to share being put forward. [University] rent models with Dr. Firn accused the SU the City of York Council to President of “lazy thinking”, make sure they are locally com- and remarked: “I presented my petitive and by providing opinion to the Council in writ- decent facilities.” ing and presented them at the He also insisted that stu- Council meeting which I think dents had been properly repre- he attended. The Pres does sented in the Heslington East admit it may be a fault of his development. However Politics memory and clearly it is. student, Nick Baron, comment- “The President is entitled ed: “We haven’t been consulted to his opinions but I wish he properly, and have certainly not was better informed about the been asked if we would like to issues.” In this, Dr. Firn reflects stay on campus for three years. the concerns of misrepresented Alexander is just a puppet of students across campus. the University - he’s out of The big questions which touch with what we want.” students have not been asked Lauren Carter, Editor, takes dossier to London to present to John Prescott, Ruth Kelly and Bill Rammell Alexander, ignorant of the about, let alone been allowed to University’s secret market answer, remain; firstly, whether research on housing, refused to they can be made to stay on Cantor’s credentials point to recognise the consequences of campus; secondly, whether 5,000 extra students on the they are happy to be subordi- local housing market if they nated to allow business expan- won’t stay on campus. sion; and finally, whether they commerce over students He also expressed disin- want their new campus to be terest in claims that the ecologically unsound and gob- By Simon Davis concludes: “The majority of actual student numbers, but a Director of Enterprise, Simon University was putting business ble up valuable greenbelt land. NEWS EDITOR tenants have not been chosen massive 436 per cent increase Newton, demonstrated their interests over academic ones, The more students that on the basis of their need to of other people on campus. commercial priority, stating: I and was insistent that he had speak out and say no to these AMAJOR reason for Vice- link to academic departments Businesses, under the guise of believe the University is well not seen a figure suggesting 38 propositions the more unten- Chancellor Brian Cantor’s elsewhere on campus. It seems Science City staff, will be 38 positioned to really make an per cent of the new campus able it will be for the appointment to the University highly likely that the tenants per cent of the new campus. Yet impact in its relationships with would be business based. Heslington East plans to be was his experience as a com- are chosen simply because they the ethos of placing industry industry and the public sector." In reaction, an enraged Dr. passed by a public enquiry. mercial fix-it man, with a histo- are prepared to pay premium next to academics has been ry of setting up successful busi- rental rates.” condemned as spurious, espe- nesses and science parks. This Simon Newton, the cially as the University has lost lead to his appointment in 2002 University’s new Director of virtually all control over the once Heslington East plans Enterprise and Innovation, con- current Science Park. Plans for a public enquiry were underway. firmed that there have been Moreover, a national An informed source with- only two or three spin-off com- report aired June 10th by the in the University revealed that panies a year and that the Times Higher Educational The controversial Heslington East plans are almost certain to go to the Brian Cantor had set up a suc- University only takes a “mini- Supplement into spin-off com- Office of the Deputy Prime Minister for a public enquiry. nouse has cessful Science Park in mum stake” in them. panies, has shown that univer- already complied a dossier of information to be considered by John Begbroke, as part of the The Science Park report sities “significantly overesti- University of Oxford’s devel- suggests that there is enough mate the number they generate” Prescott and other ministers who are likely to be involved in the nation- opment plans, and that this existing capacity on the present and that in fact “creation[s] al investigation, but we also want to hear your opinions. experience was a vital qualifi- site to house new spin-offs for peaked in 2001 with 89 new cation for the new VC because “decades to come” and “that companies. The number fell to of the University’s plans to any new property development just 30 in 2003.” This illustrates Visit www.nouse.co.uk/heslingtoneast and send us your comments. You commercially build on the planned for Heslington East is that just a quarter of spin-off can also sign our online petition. All responses will be forwarded to the greenbelt. being planned for commercial companies are actually prof- Vice Chancellor for his consideration. However, a report pub- reasons.” Campus Three is itable. lished by a York academic therefore a way of grabbing However, the University demonstrates that the greenbelt land for commerce. are pressing on with the A full copy of the suppressed housing report will also be available until University has a poor record The Heslington East plans con- planned Science City develop- the University decide to consider it for release. with its current Science Park. It sist of a 54 per cent increase in ment and newly appointed Sponsored by NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 4 News Snappy Snaps 21st June 2005 SU impotent to help make poverty history

By Justin Webber see how they are dealing with NEWS CORRESPONDENT it. The only conclusion I have come to is they are breaking the A STUDENT UNION policy to law.” support the international Make At York the approach has Poverty History coalition has been to emphasise, through run into difficulties after it was publicity materials, the educa- revealed that Charity tional aspects of the MPH cam- Commission rules prevent it paign. “It’s annoying but I have from committing funds to sup- been quite at a loss to do much porting the campaign. else”, Alexander explained. The Make Poverty History This isn’t the first time policy, which was passed at a that the SU has been hampered UGM earlier this term, seeks to in its attempts to implement commit the SU to both promot- policy by external regulations. ing awareness of international Last June a policy to oppose the development issues on campus BNP was deemed to contravene as well as lobbying political charity commission regula- Students read through the EGM petition in the hope that they can stop radical change. Photo by Georgi Mabee representatives in the wider tions, which state the Union community. “should not seek to support or However, Charity oppose a political party”. The Commission regulations state legal proceedings that followed Radical plans to overhaul that the SU cannot financially resulted in the incumbent SU support Campaigns such as President Chris Jones having to MPH, which do not “directly pay for publicity materials out affect members of the union as of his own pocket. societies prompt outcry students.” On a practical level A new charities bill going this means that YUSU cannot through parliament is set to subsidise transport up to the make the operational environ- By Toby Green term has been defended by wasn’t enough to make policy sufficient to make any amend- MPH gathering in Edinburgh ment under which YUSU NEWS DEPUTY Nuttall and Stevenson as “hav- change. ments but said that “a lot of early next month and cannot works both clearer and more ing several purposes… by Nuttal and Stevenson what we have suggested the even use office hours for activ- accountable. AN EXTRAORDINARY moving ratification to the sum- revealed they were “surprised” Society Officers have taken on ities such as letter writing. “Hopefully we will be General Meeting was called on mer term societies will receive at the “over the top” reaction, board. They said they are going “It’s really disappointing able to do more things that the Friday for only the second time their money sooner.” but admitted that “in retrospect to listen, so I guess we have to that the SU cannot act on the electorate wish us to do and not in three years after student soci- However society heads we probably haven’t explained trust them.” one issue which has really be so paralysed by grey areas of eties reacted angrily to new have complained about the what we’re doing well enough The bill also makes signif- caught the imagination of stu- murky legislation”, Alexander reforms implemented by the pressure this now puts them to everybody. The policies have icant changes to the way soci- dents this year. Even after the commented. Student Union. under, especially due to the originated out of a lot of infor- eties can apply for extra fund- union have been given a man- In the absence of funding The reforms, the first quantity of exams in the sum- mal conversations with society ing. Previously any society date to act over this issue, there from the Students’ Union, the actions of newly elected mer term. 441 people signed a chairs but there has been no with more than 40 members appears very little they can do MPH coalition of campus soci- Society Officers Carl Nuttall petition circulated by Adam formal consultation”. would qualify. However now to help”, explained Graeme eties have continued to organ- and Adam Stevenson, mean Leith, president of Concert Nuttall also claimed that any extra money will have to be Cooke from the MPH coalition. ise activities independently. that societies have been forced Band, calling for the reversal of societies which experienced decided by a special committee Student Union President The coalition has announced to complete vital Health and the policies. Leith attacked the difficulties with filling in the chosen by the Students’ Union. James Alexander has been that they have sold out seats on Safety forms in six days and plans as “badly handled” and forms would “be given maxi- An unnamed student writ- quick to explain the continuing both of the coaches going up to complete ratification in two called for societies to show the mum help and support… we ing on the Ask YUSU website problems the he is faced with. the Edinburgh protests early weeks. If not they could face SU “they can’t take these kinds will be flexible and can extend argued that the reforms will “The charity commission regu- next month. missing out on funding next of decisions without consulta- deadlines.” “only benefit new, smaller soci- lations are important but are not The MPH campaigners year equivalent to £1.50 for tion.” Speaking after the meet- eties, rather than larger more appropriate for governing stu- are calling for as many people every member. The petition forced the SU ing, Adam Leith admitted that established ones”, showing that dent unions. I have endeav- from York to get up to the G8 The move of the deadline to call the meeting which 120 he was “quite disappointed” many concerns have not yet oured to contact other unions to Summit on 2nd July. from the end of the autumn students attended, although this that the turnout had not been been addressed. ‘Nicked It’ Campaign stopped in its tracks

By Toby Green NEWS DEPUTY valuables left visible. any SU personnel.” advice”. Added to this, the high visibility patrols” were a However the article in Originally the Security University had now got “preventative method” because nouse revealed deep doubts Services had placed their full involved and said “they didn’t of the increasing crime rate on THE WELFARE Office’s con- over the campaign and ques- backing behind Rose. Mick like the idea of the campaign”. campus. troversial plans to break into tioned its legality. James Watkins, Operations Manager, Security Services were James Flinders has wel- campus bedrooms to highlight Flinders, the Halifax JCRC praised it for being “a really unavailable for comment on the comed the police presence as student security have been chair, commented that he had positive initiative” and declared new advice they had given to “highly encouraging” and it has scrapped after Security “massive reservations” over the that he was “very keen for the the Welfare Committee. But in already appeared to work. An Services controversially with- original plans, and students campaign to go ahead.” an interview with nouse John undercover Police Officer on drew their support and advised declared that it wasn’t up to the Security Services officers Rose confirmed that instead of campus confirmed that they against it. SU “to decide whether you would not accompany the cam- welcoming the campaign as had made one arrest after just The ‘Nicked It!’ cam- should close your door or not.” paign, but had promised their they had done before, they were an hour of surveillance. Rose paign, first reported in nouse in Alawyer fromsupport and guidance. now telling the SU “not to enter also commented that the nega- May, was spearheaded by the John Rose, Welfare Officer Cambridge University, James However only a fortnight into people’s rooms”. tive publicity for his ‘Nicked Welfare Officer, John Rose. Negative publicity Burke, also warned that enter- later this stance had significant- In the absence of an effec- It!’ campaign had actually done Student Union officials were to ing student’s bedrooms without ly changed. Minutes of the tive SU campaign, the its job by raising student aware- gain entry to campus bedrooms ‘made everyone permission would “be an Welfare Committee Meeting on University campus has been ness of security, and that it had through open windows or aware they should encroachment by the 27th May note that “the declared a crime “hotspot” by “made everyone aware that unlocked doors unsupervised be locking their University... and indeed a Welfare Committee did not Fulford Police. An Officer con- they should be locking their and place red stickers on any doors and windows’ potentially separate trespass by want to go against Security’s firmed that the “increase of doors and their windows.” NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 21st June 2005 Snappy Snaps News 5 Halifax students cautioned after killing protected campus wildlife

By Lauren Carter cerns that the animals had been impressed with the dish. Carter EDITOR shot, and reiterated to those told nouse: “The rabbit went involved that air rifles and BB well with some potatoes and A GROUP of Halifax students guns were banned from campus carrots in a stew.” He also have been cautioned by the ir accommodation. remarked: “You should have College Dean after it emerged The students had previ- seen the pheasant… red wine that they had been killing pro- ously boasted to nouse and shallots!” tected wildlife for elaborate reporters of how they’d shot the Some students, however, feasts in their campus accom- rabbit using a BB gun in the have reacted angrily to House modation. Halifax grounds. However, Q’s behaviour. One student has The first years were dis- Ryan Carter, who took respon- even reported the case to the covered last Wednesday by the sibility for the group, vehe- RSPCA. The University have Dean, Carl Thompson, skin- mently denied shooting the ani- also been accused of letting the ning a rabbit in front of a mals when the Dean arrived students off lightly; a former bemused crowd in St. and told him that the rabbit they case of a student killing one of Lawrence Court. Onlookers were in the process of skinning the campus ducks is reported to revealed that the students, all had been brought from a have resulted in their expul- residents of House Q, were stranger in a pub. sion. notorious for their culinary Thompson expressed dis- Chair of Halifax College, skills, having killed and belief at the story, exclaiming: James Flinders, said “it is a plucked a pheasant in the previ- “Do you really think I believe worrying development and I ous week. One neighbour com- that men still come into pubs will look into it. However, with mented: “this is typical of that and sell dead rabbits? Maybe these incidents, there’s not a lot house, they’re always getting fifty years ago, but not now. the JCR can do. The College into trouble.” I’ve lived in York for ten years and University have the disci- Elise Raffray from House and I’ve never seen anything plinary procedures in place to R defended her neighbours’ like that.” deal with these cases. antics: “All I know was it smelt The Dean decided not to “These are the actions of a really good and there isn’t search the students’ house for a very small minority of Halifax much else to comment on. They weapon and left them with a students. We’re not all gun- didn’t do anything wrong; not warning. He also advised them wielding animal killers!” University-wise anyway.” to continue skinning their catch Thompson has confirmed The University, however, inside to prevent distressing that no further action will be prohibit students from killing passers-by. taken against the students campus wildlife, which The House Q residents involved. He also denied includes the first year’s delica- have since revealed that they claims that the acts could be in cies of rabbits and pheasants. continued preparing the feast in reaction to high prices in the Thompson also raised his con- their kitchen, and were highly local Costcutters store. Students get in touch with their primitive side in Halifax. Photo by Lauren Carter Crackdown on Student loses hearing in gun crime as replicas banned cricket bat ‘happy slap’

By Elliot Taylor for a change in the law in this By Heloise Wood deafened me.” couldn’t be sure how much when it happened because it DEPUTY EDITOR direction for some time. DEPUTY EDITOR The teenagers, who had hearing would return and for was so senseless: there was no “We are particularly con- filmed the incident on their some weeks he had very mini- point to it whatsoever. It seems NEW LEGISLATION has been cerned for public safety in ASECONDYEAR student mobiles, ran off when Taite mal hearing in his right ear. that some kids with not much passed by Parliament which respect to the use of replica lost his hearing after being hit rang the police. Because he had Fortunately, now his hear- sense are getting caught up in bans the manufacture, import weapons. Police officers face a around the head with a cricket been in a fairly secluded spot ing has almost completely this fad and just going along and sale of replica guns; a difficult job when they can't bat in Fulford last month. by the river, no one else on the returned. “I’m very thankful with it. I still go out and enjoy weapon which was used earlier tell if a gun is real or not and Ben Taite feared he had green had seen the attack take that I haven’t lost my hearing, the nice weather but it’s sad this year in a gun siege invlov- have to make split second been struck deaf in one ear fol- place. because I really thought it had that I am always a bit more cau- ing a Costcutter employee. decisions." lowing the attack, which When Taite arrived at York gone. I was just so annoyed tious now.” The Violent Crime Reduction The police have argued occurred near the river on City Hospital, nurses told him Bill has come in light of a that the lack of visual differ- Friday 13th May. The assault there were three other victims sixty-six per cent increase in ence between replica and real is the latest local example of of slap happy attacks in there at replica gun offences over the firearms is a serious cause for the nationwide ‘slap happy’ the same time. The other inci- Police issue warning last year. Previously it had been concern, and can often cause craze, where teenage gangs dents had occurred when the North Yorkshire Police have look vulnerable and scared illegal to carry a replica gun in confusion. An armed police film themselves attacking oth- victims were walking down the urged students to guard you are an easier target.” public, but not to buy one. unit will be forced to take ers on their mobile phones. street and attacked from against violent crime when Since January there have Last November, nouse extreme action in the event of “I was sitting by the river behind. walking near campus, fol- been three attacks on students reported on the employee of a an incident involving any kind in Fulford, an area I had Ironically, Taite had read lowing a spate of attacks on on Hull Road and Tang Hall, campus Costcutter store was of firearm, and they are hoping always considered fairly safe. about ‘happy slapping’ in a the main pedestrian routes. all between 8 and 10pm. involved in a five hour armed that this new legislation will It was about quarter to eight newspaper that morning. The Spokesman Tony Lidgate Police patrols have increased, siege on the border of campus, prevent this. and I was engrossed in my craze, which started in South stressed that York has a very while Community Support highlighting the problem repli- Also in the Bill was an book but there were other peo- London, has already led to the low crime rate, but advised Officers and University ca guns pose for the police. increase in the age limit of ple about”, Taite said. rape of an eleven-year old that students should take pre- Security have tightened secu- Nine armed police officers sur- buying a knife from 16 to 18 “Suddenly I felt the full school girl, whose experience cautions, using taxis rather rity on campus. The descrip- rounded his house and after his years of age and granting force of a cricket bat against was circulated around the than walking alone at night. tions of the various attackers arrest it was revealed he was headteachers the permission to my right ear. I looked up and school. However, York Police He cautioned against wearing do not concur but the brandishing a replica. search pupils. Bars that sell there were eight or ten kids claimed to have never heard of things that identify you as a University’s advice is to be Sir Ian Blair, the drinks to minors can now be standing there, probably aged the craze before. student, like college sweat- alert against “violently anti- Commissioner for the temporarily shut, and ones in between twelve and fifteen. I Taite suffered internal shirts. “Make sure your body social behaviour, by teenage Metropolitan Police, said: "The binge drinking hotspots will just yelled ‘what have you bleeding in his ear and a perfo- language says I’m not afraid - white males” and to stay in police service has been pushing have to pay for extra policing. done?’ I thought they had rated ear drum. The specialist I’m a capable person. If you groups where possible. Sponsored by NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 6 News Snappy Snaps 21st June 2005

Societies denied space Goodricke: The only space left on campus whilst Pole Exercise reaps rewards

By Simon Davis Paul Nicholls, revealed that his for societies to function on NEWS EDITOR club has suffered numerous set- campus.” backs, and due to booking poli- James Alexander, the STUDENT SOCIETIES are up cy problems, lost more than Student Union President, has in arms over the University’s half of their training sessions faced criticisms of ignorance decision to remove their right after Vanbrugh closed. The and not supporting societies to book out Vanbrugh Dining high profile club went from interests. It was reported that he Hall. This leaves only training 24 people in week 10 arrived uninvited to a meeting Goodricke as an option by the of the autumn term in of societies, and insisted that middle of next term, which is Vanbrugh, to only 12 in they could still book out constantly booked out by the Goodricke at present. Vanbrugh, which a member of profit-orientated Pole Exercise Nicholls fears that his admin later confirmed was not Society. club will not survive, as they the case. The University plans to are failing to keep up with However, he has since begin refurbishment of interested members, of which issued a statement explaining Langwith Dining Hall half way they had 28 at the AU Mart, that he had not received any through next term, which has and fears they may be forced to complaints from the societies caused space-hungry societies turn people away due to lack of concerned, other than to worry about their future. space. Kenjutso club, which DanceSport, Dance Soc and Some have expressed fears that twice hosted Vic Cook Sensei, Pole Exercise Club, but that he they will have to shut down, one of Europes’ highest ranked is now willing to try and because Goodricke hall is pri- iaidoka, faces an uncertain address specific problems. In oritised for Pole Exercise Soc, future. Nicholls commented: “I support of the profit-making whose President personally bet if they made money from society, Alexander said “as far profits from the sessions. the clubs who want Vanbrugh as I know pole exercise are Freesoc, who prompted back then they’d let us have it.” now happy with Goodricke.” the Free Vanbrugh campaign in Numerous other clubs and The campaigners are now reaction to the University, com- societies have been affected in proposing “that an understand- ‘With Vanbrugh and ‘People won’t be mented: “Once again the similar ways, including Jiu ing is reached between man- ‘If we can’t have University has put its own con- Jistu Club, DanceSoc and agement and the wider commu- Langwith totally able to train and will classes at a time venience ahead of student BalletSoc. Nat Farren from nity whereby it is recognised unavailable...there leave. With no new which suits our needs and interests... The Dance Soc has expressed con- that Vanbrugh, while primarily won’t be anywhere intake, the club won’t teacher we can’t University belongs to students. cern that they would have trou- functioning as a dining hall, for clubs to meet.’ last.’ run.’ It should be a place for students ble finding another venue, stat- also serves a dual purpose as a to learn, to explore their inter- ing: “By carrying out moves community facility, and as such Tom Dugmore, Paul Nicholls, Helen Edge ests, to develop new skills.” such as this one the University it is in no ones interest to Jiu Jitsu Club Kenjustu Club Ballet Society Kenjutso Club President, are making it harder and harder monopolise its use.” Library told to put books York tops duck leagues back onto the shelves By Chris Spillane the pack with an impressive is a campus favourite as Gaz NEWS CORRESPONDENT duck density of 11.6, only Jenkins was willing to reveal. approached by Loughborough “Damien bosses all the other By Toby Green DEPUTY NEWS THE UNIVERSITY of York University with 8.5 duck and ducks, I‘ve seen him fell a has fought off competition Leeds University with 7.0 Greylag when he‘s on form.” from Oxbridge and other ‘red- ducks, according to website However not all students LIBRARY SERVICES have brick’ institutions to come top duckdensity.org.uk. are happy with York topping been forced to take a u-turn of the table once again with The unpopular Greylag the university bird table, as over plans to take academic something a little closer to the geese which dominate the York James college members wit- journals off the shelves and student’s heart. campus, has been described by nessed during the mass duck make them available on the Volunteers, including a Electronics student Ben Jarvis excrement clear up before the internet, after a report uncov- group of environmentalist as a “poor man’s Canada 2004 Quad Dash. Second year ered widespread resistance. Quakers, have tallied the num- goose”. Clearly showing that History student Shaun The internal report noted ber of wildfowl per rood (or popularity isn’t in numbers, Messenger said: “Instead of a results of a year-long trial of plete disposal of print journals, report also noted doubts over ducks per 1,011 square the sole Ruddy Shel duck, duck culling at the end of term the scheme. According to with many believing that stu- the reliability and cost of print- metres) of the country’s lead- known as ‘Damien’ to several there could be a welcome addi- Library Services, the aim of dents would lose out. ing on campus, as well as a ing universities. York leads second year Biology students, tion to the Vanbrugh roast.” the trial was to “find out Departments reacted with loss of quality of images when whether e-journals are a viable concern to students not being reproduced electronically. alternative to print”, creating a able to gain satisfactory access Matthew Platts, the SU cheap way to provide more to the journals and the History Campaigns Officer, welcomed Student abuses poverty shelf space. However, both stu- Department even lodged a for- the increased accessibility pro- dents and departments have mal complaint. In it they noted vided by online journals, but By Toby Green replied “Charity doesn’t lose ple in the world.” Angry users reacted negatively to the trial, that undergraduates had clearly warned that “a problem arises DEPUTY NEWS out my son, I sent in many texts of the site took to bidding mil- and expressed their displeasure expressed that they “were when electronic archives are at £1.50 each.” lions of pounds in an effort to at being denied access to hard strongly opposed to the restric- the exclusive vector to getting AYORK student has been Online auction site, Ebay, sabotage the sale of tickets. copies of journals. As a result tion of access.” The report also access to journals.” caught out selling charity Live were recently involved in con- Live 8 will consist of five the Library has had to provide concluded that “without print Students have also react- 8 tickets through the small ads troversy after Bob Geldof, the concerts, one each in the UK, open access to the journals in a journals the Library would be a ed with worry about the extra section on the University driving force behind Live 8 and France, Germany, Italy and the humiliating climb-down. less effective place in which to financial burden it would cre- website for personal profit. previously Live Aid, labelled USA. 125,000 tickets were dis- The Library’s provision research and to study.” ate. Sam Williams, a first year The second year them “electronic pimps” for tributed to the Hyde Park of ‘e-journals’ has been widely Computer availability Economics student, demanded Economics student, offered allowing Live 8 tickets to be Concert on 2nd July, featuring praised, with 207 people con- was a major discussion point, “that if the library wants to cut the tickets for £250 or highest sold on the side. He also acts such as Coldplay, U2, tacting the Library during the with many students unable to costs, they should make print- offer and claimed they were branded the attempted sale of Madonna and a reformed Pink scheme and praising it as their afford a computer of their own ing free, otherwise students for “a charitable cause to tickets as “sick profiteering.” Floyd, through an automated “best feature”. However there and not able to access one in lose out. Reading off the relieve student debt.” When “It is filthy money made prize draw which over a million were complaints over the com- crowded computer rooms. The screen just isn’t good enough.” asked to explain his actions he on the back of the poorest peo- people entered by text. NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 21st June 2004 Snappy Snaps News 7 Ascot up north was in a class of its own as crowds flock to Knavesmire

THE ROYAL ASCOT meet- ing has been deemed a suc- cess. After Wednesday the weather picked up, and so did the attendance. Altogether, 220,000 people have visited Knavesmire for Royal Ascot at York. With £3 million in prize money to be won, racegoers have flocked to York from across the country. The event has been well received by the surrounding areas as well. In particular, the city has pros- pered from the influx of tourism. York Racecourse was chosen to host the event this year, while the Berkshire racecourse undergoes a £185 million redevelopment. However, if building work over runs, York is likely to be the first choice for the event.

Photos: Toby Hall

York academics’ Honours York to get first

By Clive Crouch Speaking to nouse, (OBE), for services concerning since most of my campaigns black Archbishop Bradshaw said he was “very equal opportunities. had been aimed at changing THE ACHIEVEMENTS of two pleased” to have been given the Afshar’s research centres policy and therefore highly By Samir Jeraj to become a parish priest in York Professors have been accolade. around the Politics of the critical of the status quo. NEWS CORRESPONDENT February of this year. recognised by their inclusion in “It was a great surprise. I Middle East, and the fields of ‘I am lost in admiration John Sentamu has a long the Queen’s 2005 Birthday did not think that trouble mak- women’s studies and develop- for a country that rewards you THE RT Reverend John record of social and political Honours List. ers like me got awards,” he ment studies. for criticising it,’ she added. Sentamu, a former Ugandan campaigning, being active in Professor Jonathan remarked. She has been a member of The Birthday Honours judge and the current Bishop his birth country Uganda Bradshaw, Head of the Social Bradshaw’s research has the Group which advises the List, published a week ago, is of Birmingham, has become against the dictatorship of Idi Policy and Social Work involved studies of child pover- Cabinet Office Women’s Unit, intended to acknowledge the the new Archbishop of York Amin in the 1970s. Department, received the ty in the UK and other compar- seeking to raise awareness of services and achievements of and the first black Archbishop In his numerous posts in Commander of the Order of the ative countries. He has also gender issues among the civil individuals in a diverse range in English history. England he has taken part in British Empire (CBE) for his done work on the topics of servants who process the appli- of areas, including sport, aca- The Archbishop was cho- campaigns against racism, services to child welfare. social security, family change cations of female asylum seek- demia, community projects sen by Prime Minister Tony including the Stephen An advisor to the House of and the social needs of the eld- ers. and charity work. Blair from a list submitted by Lawrence and Damilola Taylor Commons Work and Pensions erly. ‘I think the award was in The two York academics’ the Church of England to be inquiries. Committee and Associate Professor Haleh Afshar, a recognition for a life-time work awards follow the recent elec- promoted to the second most As Bishop of Director of the Social Policy member of the University’s with minority Muslim women tion of Alastair Fitter to a important job in the Church of Birmingham, he helped the Research Unit, he first joined Politics Department, was in West Yorkshire but also Royal Society Fellowship, England. MG Rover workers who were the University as a research stu- awarded the Officer of the nationally. continuing a long line of suc- The former Archbishop made redundant after the clo- dent in 1967. Order of the British Empire ‘It was totally unexpected cessful accademics at York. of York, David Hope, resigned sure of the Longbridge plant. Sponsored by NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 8 Politics Snappy Snaps 21st June 2005 9 G8 leaders must now grasp decisive Britian left to pick up pieces opportunity to make a difference after EU constitution collapses As the leaders prepare to meet in Gleneagles, Zak Azimov discusses the issues headlining July’s summit, Alex Grant analyses the implications of the recent failed referenda and renewed disputes over the budget and the problems the G8 will have to face in achieving consensus on debt relief, aid and climate change or the European Union the past Others, it seems, merely wanted British farming is relatively small rebate if the French agree to reform dead but reform of the Union is still month has been one of the to give President Chirac a kick in the and efficient and thus receives a of CAP, which they are refusing to needed so that its 25 member states fter Genoa, Cananaskis, Evian, Fmost dramatic since its incep- teeth. Perhaps above all, many are small slice of the subsidy pie. do. can operate without gridlock. and Sea Island, it is the turn tion. Prior to the two upsetting refer- concerned about the state of their Chirac has called on Blair to Chirac seems to be trying to However, visions of what the Aof Gleneagles in Scotland to endums on the constitution the con- economies, with support for the make a gesture of ‘solidarity’ with deflect attention away from the future direction of the continent host the annual G8 summit this July. tinent’s political elite seemed, at Euro waning. his neighbours and give up the recent referendum defeat by high- should be are varied to say the least. If previous summits are anything best overconfident, at worst compla- Despite the mutterings of some rebate. Britain’s special treatment is lighting the UK as an uncooperative Such disparity continues to throw to go by then we are likely to see cent with regards to the result. members of the European plainly unfair considering there are partner. the proposed EU into confusion. It is plenty of anti-globalisation rallies, Despite earlier indications in the Commission that “every nation must now considerably poorer countries It is plain that, at some point, the now Blair’s challenge to try and rec- and talks of the greater, brighter polls, nobody really expected the have its voice heard” it is plain to such as Poland in the Union who rebate will have to be revised. oncile these differences and to forge future world leaders have in store French to vote no. French and Dutch see that the constitution, as it exists make large contributions. However, However, CAP too warrants drastic a way forward through this particul- for us. decisive rejection of the blueprint in its present form, is as dead as a Blair will only agree to give up the reform. The constitution may be rly turbulant time. The summits are intended as for ‘ever closer union’ throws the doornail. forums for debating the major glob- entire project into an unprecedent- With unanimous ratification al issues of the day. Leaders of the ed crisis. required, many argue it would plain- eight member countries seek to The people in the ‘no’ camps in ly be ridiculous for Britain, and reach informal agreements. At each the Netherlands and France were as indeed other countries, to hold a summit leaders agree on certain ini- varied as they were numerous; referendum when France and tiatives, with follow-up meetings seemingly voting against the consti- Holland have already said ‘non’ and held throughout the year to make tution for any reason other than the ‘niet’ respectively. Such sentiment is sure commitments are being hon- document’s contents. thought to let Tony Blair off the oured. Right-wingers feared being hook. Tony Blair, who, given the British swamped by immigrants from the The constitution referendum in Presidency of the G8, will be hosting East, and are extremely concerned at Britain would have been near impos- this year’s summit, has made the potential entrance of Islamic sible for the government to win. preparatory visits to Washington Turkey to what some see as an exclu- However, Mr Blair now faces a new and Moscow, and held brief meet- problem: for the next six months, he ings with Paris and Berlin to push The constitution in Britain will hold the Presidency of the for a commitment for further aid. European Union. It is up to him to On top of the agenda at would have been a near pick up the pieces after the past few Gleneagles will be African debt relief impossible for the weeks and he seems to have got off and global climate change. Long- to an extremely shaky start. standing issues, long forgotten and government to win. It is Early June saw an increasingly abandoned, have finally been now up to Blair to pick up bitter dispute develop between brought to the world-wide attention. Britain and France. The points of Other issues most likely to be the pieces after the past controversy are the British rebate discussed at the summit are counter- few weeks and he seems and the Common Agricultural Policy ing terrorism, non-proliferation and (CAP). to have got off to an The two are inextricably linked President Bush maintains extremely shaky start as Blair had pointed out. CAP, the system that distributes subsidies to that there isn’t enough The world’s most powerful leaders have been charged with the responsibility of tackling key global issues before they reach crisis point farmers across Europe, costs around scientific evidence on sively Christian club. half of the EU’s overall budget. Yet climate change to justify recommended that on top of current ic evidence and the matter needs efforts to forge a global partnership that the world leaders stay on target Socialists, on the other hand, there are many more farmers in agreements, an extra aid flow equiv- further examination. with co-ordinated actions and plan- and deliver the best results for the feared the encroaching free market France than there are in the UK. The significant action and that alent to $25bn a year needs to be Former Foreign Secretary Robin ning to increase international secu- future development of our common and what they see as an ‘Anglo- rebate (about £3.6 billion annually) the matter needs further established for optimum results. Cook said Mr Bush was "spectacular- rity. civilisation, as is widely, but pes- Saxon’ economic model being exists to compensate Britain for its While Europe appears commit- ly out on a limb" over climate With a lot at stake we must hope simistically, expected of them. imposed upon them. unfairly high net contributions. The victory of the ‘no’ camps in France and Holland have thrown the future of the EU into turmoil examination ted to additional development aid change. Mr Cook said climate flows, concerns that major or full change had to be treated as serious- supporting reform in the Middle debt reduction will lead to further ly as African poverty because the East. unchecked corruption have been two were intrinsically linked. Progress on debt relief has previ- raised. In the aftermath of the 11 ously been secured (though there is Climate change, "the single most September attacks in the US, the G8 Ukraine looks to Europe for stable future still obviously remaining controver- important long-term issue that we underscored its determination to sy over remaining debt.) At past face as a global community” accord- combat all forms of terrorism and to summits, the G8 have agreed $70bn ing to Tony Blair, is the second strengthen international co-opera- Jamie Merrill reports on the Ukrainian Ambassador’s vision for his country as it passes through a pivotal period after last year’s Orange Revolution of debt relief for 27 countries, 23 of major issue to be tackled at July’s tion. which are in Africa reducing their summit. Over the past few years, the G8 he events of last year’s Orange October’s Presidential elections, Mr split the Ukraine in two. Yushchenko more democratic may offset these economic development. To the visit came at a time of promise but debts by around two-thirds on aver- According to the has been actively involved in lead- Revolution were regarded Yushchenko and his supporters were represented the desires of western domestic problems. Certainly the ambassador, a close ally of also uncertainty for his country. age and freeing up resources for Intergovernmental Panel on Climate ing international efforts to counter Tworldwide as a triumph for shocked to find themselves defeated Ukraine for further integration into ambassador was confident that Yushchenko, “Ukraine is a European Whilst further integration into spending on poverty reduction. Change, global temperatures are the proliferation of weapons of mass democracy. Six months on, however, in the second round of voting to Europe and eventually the EU. The Yushchenko will be “able to build a nation” sharing a common vision Europe seems a certainty, obstacles The newest agreement, engi- predicted to rise by between 1.4 and destruction. Under its presidency, Ukraine’s future is far from certain. Viktor Yanukovych. The ambassador ambassador described how the democratic nation” and that “the with the rest of Europe. remain. neered by the UK Chancellor Gordon 5.8 degrees celcius over the next the UK will continue this vital work. In response to an invitation from described the gross levels of elec- Ukraine is “now a member of the base of corruption and oligarchy” Already Yushchenko is introduc- But such problems, however, are Brown, promises to write off the century with quite catastrophic con- Nuclear enrichment and reprocess- the Club of PEP (Politics, Economic toral fraud perpetuated by family of European nations”. By con- that so plagued the Ukraine has, in ing constitutional reforms to bring not necessarily insurmountable, as £22bn worth of debt currently faced sequences. ing, and the fight against bio-terror- and Philosophy) His Excellency Ihor Yanukovych’s supporters and the trast, Yanukovych represented the his words has been “cancelled, can- Ukraine further into line with long as Yushchenko can introduce by 18 of the most heavily indebted Tony Blair was in Washington ism are on the agenda along with Mitiukov visited the University to reaction of the Ukrainian people to old order of the Russian-orientated celled, cancelled”. Europe and allow closer relations. democratic reforms and in some way poor countries (HIPC). last week to ensure he has Mr Bush talk about the revolution and the falsified election. New elections east of the country. Whilst calling for closer However there are problems, start to deal with corruption. If such The debts to be written off were on side. Even though both sides Ukraine’s future in Europe. in December 2004 saw Yushchenko These divisions leave the new European integration Yushchenko with the rejection of the European targets can be achieved then inte- owed to the World Bank, the IMF and decided to collaborate and push for While Europe appears His Excellency, the Ukrainian elected as President. administration with the problem of must consider Ukraine’s relationship Union constitution and the lack of gration into Europe seems certain. the African Development Bank. debt relief, there was very little committed to additional ambassador to the UK since 2002, The battle for the Presidency how to incorporate the eastern with Russia. Yanukovych was the popularity regarding further Certain, that is for Ukraine. But with The so-called ‘New Marshall understanding and compromise previously held positions under provinces into Yushchenko’s dream pro-Russian candidate and received enlargement. the current political climate, Europe Plan’ will cost rich countries $1.2bn regarding climate change. development aid flows, then Prime Minister Viktor He described the Ukraine of a Ukraine integrated into Europe. support from the Russian President Ukrainian entry into the EU, may not be able to be as welcoming a year over the next three years. America is the only country that concerns that major or full Yushchenko. Drawing on a close The ambassador talked of “two Vladimir Putin. The bitter nature of therefore, does not look likely in the as Ukraine would like and His The G8 countries made it clear has refused to sign the Kyoto proto- relationship with the now President as “a European nation” different mentalities” and of “two the election has left relations with near future. Furthermore, with Excellency Ihor Mitiukov is perhaps that initial payments would come col, which restricts the emissions of debt reduction will lead to Yushchenko, His Excellency was able sharing a common vision different visions” effectively divid- Russia sour. Ukraine’s withdrawal of its forces aware of this. For Ukraine the future out of existing aid budgets, a fact gases said to be responsible for glob- further corruption have to give students a valuable insight with the rest of Europe ing Ukraine. It will be a hard task for For Yushchenko, further from Iraq, America’s support for may be bright but there are many that has attracted some criticism. al warming. President Bush main- been raised into the future of Ukrainian politics. Yushchenko to unite these. European integration is essential for Ukraine to join NATO is cooling. problems still to face. The Commission for Africa has tains that there isn’t enough scientif- After initially leading last However, moves to make Ukraine Ukraine to enable its political and His Excellency Ihor Mitiukov’s His Excellency, Ihor Mitiukov June 21st 2005 MUSE

Tomorrow’s chip paper We take a look at what’s been making the headlines this year

FEATURE Student entrepreneurs M2 FASHION Style for summer M6 BAND INTERVIEW Fightstar M9 M2 FEATURE MUSE 21/06/05

he idea of being a student can often con- jure up the image of three years spent Tboozing, cramming for exams and spi- ralling into enough debt to rival a small African Nowadays, many of the country. For most people at university the barriers which had biggest challenge in life is simply to get a 2:1. Being your The closest many of us get to entering the world previously prevented of work before we graduate is a nightshift at JJ’s, or for those really ambitious young hopefuls, an students from starting internship at some swanky bank in London. And their own businesses why not? University is often heralded as the one time in life when you are protected from the are gradually being pressures of the real world and ‘real work’. To broken down simply have the motivation and organisation to own boss juggle a part-time job while at university, how- juggling their degrees alongside running a busi- ever soul-crushing and menial it might seem, is ness venture. The most noticeable feature of not only impressive but really quite admirable. York’s entrepreneurial activity was simply its Yet, a surprising number of students across the sheer diversity. There was Johnny Fianu, a sec- country are going one step further. Not content ond year Economics student, who is steadily tak- to be someone else’s minion, many students are ing over the world from his Hull Road residence creating their own businesses and becoming by running three web companies. In stark con- before you their own boss before they even finish their trast Becks Lyle, a second year History of Art degrees. student who set up her own fashion label A recent study published by the London ‘Beguile’ and has since lived in a world strewn School of Economics illustrates this trend. The with buttons, sequins and ribbon. We also met a numbers of young people starting their own first-year partnership, James Carter and Rory businesses while at university has risen from 0.9 Shank, who formed Grinning Records, a record per cent in 2003 to 2.3 per cent in 2004. Whilst company that helps to develop school bands graduate initially this may not seem the most overpower- across the country. Finally one of the most ing of statistics (if statistics ever are), it does intriguing cases was Nick Grayson and his team show a sustained increase in entrepreneurial at the University’s Computer Recycling Project, activity among students. Such figures support who gallantly provide the community with free further evidence to show that the UK’s entrepre- computers that they reassemble from scrap. neurial culture is developing most among young One of the most striking things about this people. But how representative is this of York? collection of people was their surprisingly dif- Rachel Ringstead and Becky Mitchell talk Being one of the smaller universities, it would ferent attitudes towards money and motivation. be easy to assume that all these budding Richard Whilst business minded Johnny seemed particu- to York’s student enterpreneurs who share Branson’s would flock to business schools. Yet larly financially driven, Becks was happy to be on closer inspection the University of York does paid in wine. Furthermore, although the their tricks of the trade and reveal how to go have a surprising array of student business tal- Computer Recycling Project turns over three to ent. four thousand pounds per anum, this is all donat- it alone in the cut-throat world of business We interviewed a cross-section of students ed to York RAG. James and Rory on the other MUSE 21/06/05 FEATURE M3

admit that, “there is no real need for us to meet the bands, we do most of our work via email. Furthermore it is easy to create an image over the internet, as our business is essentially a vir- tual business.” The internet also saves greatly on time and can reduce overheads, two of the main reasons why businesses often fail. However if like Becks students decide not to run their business over the Internet, being young doesn’t have to be a drawback. Through targeting a younger market audience, students can actually use their youth to their advantage. For example the vivacity of Becks’s fresh, kitsch style, generated partly by her age, really appeals to people at a similar stage in life. This is also the case for James and Rory, who believe that their clients respond well to their youth. “Our age allows our clients to trust us, they see as Becks Lyle, fashion expert being on their side and the tone of our advertis- ing reflects this,” Grinning Record’s mission ‘it’s nice to be able statement is “We take school bands and make em’ cool.” Such a slogan clearly wouldn’t appeal to put that I’ve to bands that have been on the music scene for a while. launched my own However, one of the main factors which turns students off from starting their own com- independent fashion panies, aside from their youth and inexperience, is money. Indeed in many cases funding can be label on my CV’ one of the main obstacles deterring students from realising their entrepreneurial dreams. Yet Johnny waves this aside as a myth; “Most peo- ple see money as the big issue – but it is much less of a problem than people think”. Yet clearly the nature of your idea will dic- tate the funding required. If your business plan involves rescuing MG Rover or producing a bet- Left: James ter version of Concorde, then obviously a bit and Rory make more financial aid will be required (preferably a neat profit as from a benefactor like Bill Gates). However if you start small and operate via the web business owners of the start up costs are much lower. Grinning Although James and Rory admit that they Records label. can’t work at a loss, they did not really dwell on Far left: One money when they spoke to us. Initial investment of their suc- was provided from personal funds and support from family and friends, which they hope to cessful bands recoup in the summer. playing at a So if funding and age aren’t a problem, live gig what are the key ingredients for running a suc- Johnny Fianu, web master cessful student enterprise? Above all having a good idea is paramount. Yet the next stages of ed to York RAG. James and Rory on the other A gap in the market was also identified developing this idea into something concrete and hand are excited at the prospect of finally mak- seven years ago by York University students, ‘The more internet successful will undoubtedly determine whether ing a profit this summer, although they do admit who recognised the potential value in seemingly or not the business has a real future. they are not in it for the money, describing their useless, broken or outdated campus computers, companies I start, Johnny cannot stress the importance of net- venture more as a “hobby”. which were merely being thrown out and working enough (in fact we suspect in the inter- So what makes all of these people tick? replaced by newer models. To them this seemed the higher the view that he might actually be trying to network Why would any student give themselves any like such a waste. There were so many people in with us). Over the years Johnny has developed more work than was really necessary? For Becks the community who could not afford new com- probability that one global links, establishing a supplier base in Asia, it is easy, she wouldn’t have it any other way. As puters, yet there were perfectly serviceable com- particularly in Singapore’s electronics industry. she wryly confesses, “I will often emerge from puters on campus that were quite literally being will succeed.’ It doesn’t have to be this scary though. Global my room after passing a day spent with my dumped. With the help of the SU a team of ded- contacts are not the be all and end all and some- sewing machine, with thread in my hair and icated volunteers with the skills to repair and times the most helpful people can be those close paint all over my face. But I don’t care, I love update these dilapidated resources was enlisted to home. Indeed James, Rory and Becks rely it.” In Johnny’s case he is passionate about busi- to restore the computers that the University was more on networks of friends, family and word of ness and it seems to be the thrill of the chase that simply discarding. Seven years on the Computer mouth. drives him most. His business minded brain was Recycling Project has really taken off. Last term Furthermore since the Computer Recycling first displayed as a child when he started selling alone they raised £1,000 for charity and donated Project has been in operation it has gradually drinks on a stall in Zimbabwe. Since then he has 38 computers to RAG. Alongside this, the proj- expanded from its campus base and developed created and dissolved several companies and is ect also loans and sells recycled computers to links within the community, especially with currently operating three simultaneously. But students at a low cost. local businesses and charities. This network is this doesn’t phase him; “Many of my Internet However despite such examples of students also crucial to forging a good reputation – a very companies fail, but the more companies that I who have taken the plunge and started a busi- important thing, for as Bill Gates once said “rep- start, the higher the probability that one of them ness, there remains a large body of young people utation is crucial to dictating a companies suc- will succeed.” who are discouraged from taking their entrepre- cess”. In James and Rory’s case their business neurial ideas further. One of the main deterrents James and Rory are keen to stress that they was inspired by a niche that they identified in the is the fear that their youth will go against them. are not just a two-man band. They recognise the market. Frustrated at the lack of opportunity for Indeed as Johnny says, “I see my age as my only areas where their skills are lacking and bring youth music they established Grinning Records real hindrance”. expert help in to tackle those problem areas. As while they were at school together in However, nowadays many of the barriers they have found it is important not to neglect Lincolnshire. Together they created the only which previously prevented students from start- Nick Grayson, Computer nitty-gritty essential skills which can make or record company in the country, which caters ing their own businesses are gradually being break your business. If you don’t know how to specifically for school bands, assisting this pre- broken down. The internet has been instrumental Recycling Project balance your books – learn. If you can’t design viously neglected and unsupported area of to this process. Johnny, James and Rory all agree your own website recruit someone to help you young talent. “These people have bags of enthu- that running their business through websites has ‘OK, so we don't (preferably for free). It’s about ticking all of the siasm but no real business acumen about how to greatly increased their chances of success. As boxes, because if you are going to be successful develop image and get themselves out there. Johnny has found, “If my clients were to find out make any profits, you have to pay attention to detail, while keep- We’re not out to turn people into superstars but that I was a student they might lose confidence ing the bigger picture in sight. what we can offer is crucial help in developing in me. The internet means that I don’t have this but at least the As every successful entrepreneur will tell young bands.” Their idea has certainly been a hit disadvantage, it provides a layer of anonymity.” you, starting your own business can be very and they are currently marketing bands from To James and Rory the internet is crucial to business is sound’ over 250 schools across the country. the way that they operate their business. They Continued on following page M4 FEATURE MUSE 21/06/05

Clockwise from Continued from M3 But remember, for every maverick whose top left: One of worst nightmare is to be merely a cog in the problematic but also extremely rewarding. At KPMG or PWC or PG machine, starting your Johnny’s adverts the end of the day it is down to your persever- own business, however risky and time consum- to show off his ance, sheer drive and overriding faith in yourself ing, can be the most satisfying, fulfilling and latest gadget; and your idea that will prevent you from giving ultimately exhilarating adventure of your life. Beck’s trend up and calling it a day. It would have been easy setting hand for Johnny to lose faith the first time one of his companies failed, but instead he views failure crafted bags; objectively, seeing it merely as an occupational Setting up on the net The Fusion hazard of business. As Johnny says, “a success- fashion show ful company requires a lot of time and drive and at Leeds failing is an opportunity to learn”. On first impressions, Johnny seems like your Furthermore there may be occasions where you average twenty something, but when the conver- will have to adapt your idea, however painful it sation turns to business his whole tone and per- might feel. Inevitably there will also be times sona transforms. We are impressed by his pro- when it will seem like your venture is taking fessionalism and sheer business acumen. over your life. Becks could probably relate to When we first meet him, he is sporting his this when she spent seemingly endless hours latest gadget, the smallest MP3 player in the customising over a hundred T-Shirts for the world that has been specially customised to his Fusion fashion show last March, which lead to personal specification by his “agent supply con- her room beginning to resemble a small sweat tacts” in Singapore. “I hope that this can com- shop. pete with the IPOD shuffle, we should be able to As she states, her business can sometimes sell it at a much lower cost”. Johnny isn’t all very expensive and in previous discussions with be “Everything that I do other than my degree”. talk. He shows us the prototype, which true to Computer recycling possible partners it generally comes down to the Yet it is her passion and creative flair that keeps his word really is tiny. But even though the prod- lack of space or money or both.” her going when others might have stopped try- uct looks perfect to us, this isn’t good enough for With regards to money it is a purely volun- ing. Johnny. “I’m about to get back to them to One of the first things that you are struck by tary organisation. As Nick says, “OK so we don't For many people the prospect of starting instruct the features that I want changing.” when you enter the Computer Recycling make any profits, we are far too nice, but the their own business and shouldering the risks and Never one to do things by halves Johnny Project’s office in Grimston House is the utter business is sound. We can charge for picking up sacrifices that this involves is simply not worth now has three companies on the go, which sell shortage of space. One cannot help but wonder computers from businesses, of which there it, being tantamount to a living realisation of products and services over the Internet for a how a student business that specialises in the seems to be an endless supply, and then sell the their worse nightmare. In reality, entrepreneurs global audience. His main venture at the restoration of old computers, with a growing items that we pick up, again of which again there are an extremely rare breed and it is true to say moment is Celus, which is run through his par- team of dedicated volunteers, can function so is plenty of demand for.” that to become one you have to have something ent company Mengduo. successfully in an area the size of a broom cup- The volunteers are not afraid to get their of an X-Factor spirit that cannot be bottled - it Johnny flippantly tells us that one day the board. But they do it and they do it very well. On hands dirty, they will take anything and every- has to come naturally. thought came to him ‘that it was a shame that average the company makes £100 a week, which thing that they can and gut it. Just from our expe- Behind this determination will be different you couldn't buy ready made businesses over the is really quite impressive considering they are rience this seems to be a very dusty job. sources of motivation, whether that be the pure Internet.’ Instead of waving this thought aside only open on Wednesday afternoons. Last term However someone has to do just and for the vol- thrill of taking business risks, as in Johnny's Johnny has made this a reality through his busi- was particularly successful and they raised unteers the technical and business skills that they case, or for Becks, the essential love of what she ness Celus. £1,000 for RAG. are using and developing will be invaluable in does, or even for James and Rory and the volun- Johnny hopes to continue with his compa- In fact the business is expanding all the later life. teers of the Computer Recylcing Project, who nies after university and after having lunch with time, but being a charity this is problematic. The Computer Recycling Project is open are spurred on by their social ideals. However him we can’t help but think that that we might be “We would like to expand into York but from 2-6pm on Wednesday afternoons in what these different people do have in common hearing of him in the future. even in conjunction with other community Grimstone House. is the inability to fit into a specified box. To find out more visit www.celus.co.uk. groups the cost of renting warehouses etc. is Visit its website at www.comprec.org.uk. MUSE 21/06/05 FEATURE M5

etc. I see it as covering my costs. It saves on Grinning Records awkwardness, as well as the money I would oth- The scientific briefing with erwise inevitably spend on drink.’ Beck’s biggest statement at York so far has James and Rory have always had a passion for been at Fusion where she customised over a hun- Luke Boulter music, indeed Rory has played in bands before. dred T-Shirts for the models and committee at They met at school and shared a concern for the Fusion. On top of this she has recently show- lack of support for school bands, so they estab- cased fashions at the three-day “Guilty lished “Grinning Records as a company aiming Pleasures”, a student fashion show which was to promote youth music and guide young bands held in Leeds. Although Becks is unsure whether Creating life: The in the right direction so that their efforts are not or not she will carry on with her enterprise in the Frankenstein of today wasted”. future as she has no hard qualifications, you They explain, “These people have so much can’t help thinking that she won’t let her creative enthusiasm and it can be wasted so often. There flair die. And anyway as she explains, “it’s nice is a lot of negativity associated with young peo- to be able to put ‘launched my own fashion ith a flash of lightening and So what are the bare essentials ple who are interested in music, but the question label’, on my CV.” a groan from the lab bench required for the production of these to ask is what else would they be doing, if they For more information on Beck’s products W‘the monster’ was born. little creatures? Well, basically exact- weren’t doing this? We want to channel their email her at [email protected] Constructed from a cocktail of ly the same as ours. They will energy effectively”. reclaimed body parts, Frankenstein’s require principally three things: a The service that Grinning Records offers is creature roams the village, kidnapping metabolism to generate energy, some two fold: first it creates a website for the band maidens and eventually is chased up genetic material to be passed on to the and a CD and sometimes even merchandise. The to a windmill, which is subsequently offspring of the protocell, and a sac to company then takes a cut of the merchandise and burnt to the ground by a hoard of hold the other two components and CD sales, which is about 40-50 per cent. They pitchfork-wielding villagers. Not all divide into new cells. sometimes go one step further through running together that inspiring then for Steen There you have it, simple! Well events, where they aim to get ‘good music to Rasmussen, who since early last year not really, the problems arise really local towns and cities across the United has worked obsessively to do what when you try to make this happen, Kingdom. We help young bands all over the scientists and the eccentrics amongst especially when the components country gig in front of a reasonable audience, us have dreamt of for years… create aren’t meant to go together. One way whilst also providing the youth of that town with life. to get around this is the ‘top-down’ a decent event’. Don’t, however, place your order method; take the simplest unicellular In many ways Grinning Records acts as a for a creature of your own just yet. At organism you can find, and then feeder record company which James and Rory the moment what you will receive in prune its genome, gene by gene until admit. “Ninety per cent of the bands cannot the post will be nothing more than a removing any one of the remaining make it commercially because the genre that beaker with what looks like a few genes will kill the organism. The they are operating in just isn’t tailored for that contently floating blobs of oil and result: the basic components for life. market. However not many of these bands real- even these won’t be as interesting as That’s the simple part, now all you ly want to make it commercial anyway. They you’d have hoped. The plan is to cre- are required to do is synthetically just want to get gigs, at least at this stage.” ate a being from scratch - A small reconstruct this stripped down As a partnership they provide an interesting organism; one tenth the diameter of a genome and reinsert it into the cell. insight into a joint entrepreneurial venture. Their normal human hair which will One catch remains, however, the cell advice is simple, “you have to work with people autonomously grow and replicate. Its has to live once the transplant has that you trust, who have useful and different name: the Protocell. taken place! skills from you”. Rory admits that although he is So why has the Los Alamos The second method it to deny the music mistro behind the business and could National Laboratory just put up five nature completely, and go ‘bottom- possibly run it as a sole trader he needs James’ million dollars for research into up’ – Rasmussen’s protocell will be calming pragmatism to curb his wild enthusiasm something that many scientists made using this method. He’ll make to take on too much. believe to be a little too sci-fi to be the sac for the genetic material by Asked about plans for the future both can true? Well, initially (considering using a molecule – one end loves see the scope to expand the business, but recog- Rasmussen is successful) we will be water, and the other end hates it. So nise the obstacles involved. “We don’t have the able to see what we looked like four what do the molecules do? They form resources and as we are all in full time educa- billion years ago. We’ll have some a ball with the water-loving parts on tion, neither us nor our clients really have the understanding of how our ancestors the outside (known as a Micelle). time to be able to be able to do that.” However formed from nothing more than a col- Next, in true entrepreneur style, he Grinning Records hopes to run some new events lection of gasses, which due to a ran- will add the genome – DNA and RNA this summer. dom spark began to react and form won’t do though, they’re a little too For more information visit the website amino acids - the basic building natural, so instead Rasmussen will www.grinningrecords.co.uk. blocks of life. Success in this project use PNA (Peptide Nucleic Acid). The would offer all manner of answers: PNA has two main parts; the bases, Why did we form as we did? How did similar to those in DNA allow repli- we form these stray molecules? cation and the transmission of genetic Creating fashion Whatever the outcome, according to material from parent to child. Peter Nielson, a biochemist from The second section however is Copenhagen and partner in the completely different to the sugar When you first meet Becks, you can tell that she Protocell project, the key answer that phosphate backbone in DNA; it is is into fashion. She started making bags around will arise from this research is “was made of molecules called peptides the age of 16, which she gave to family and life an accident or inevitable?” In which are normally associated with friends. Since then she has expanded into all either case this will have profound proteins. The peptide backbone is things creative. Making clothes, jewellery and implications on how we consider our- conductive, so when coupled with a hand crafted cards “basically lots of things for selves in the universe. light sensitive molecule an electron friends birthdays”. The research however does not will shoot through the peptide spine She describes her original style as “very merely offer a quasi-profound notion of the genetic material like electricity girly, glitterly, sparkly and even a bit OTT”. You of existence, there are practical appli- through a wire and metabolism is can’t help thinking that Becks could be talking cations to what Rasmussen and his kicked off. In the presence of food the about herself. Her vibrant and bubbly personali- team are doing. Once the basics have cell will grow and parts can replicate ty is reflected in the pieces that she creates. been mastered, the thought of home until the whole thing becomes unsta- Indeed her passion sometimes overtakes made multicellular organisms isn’t ble, and splits into two cells. – Or at her and she freely admits that she doesn’t always too big a jump. We need only look at least that’s the idea. run her business in the most economical way. the decade or so to see exactly how So what does it all mean? Well “Sometimes I will go to Duttons and just get genetic engineering has moulded our in the long term Rasmussen envisions really carried away buying ribbon and sequins. production of crops and medicines. self-healing planes and self-cleaning But at the end of the day I know that I will Steven Benner, a biophysicist from surfaces where a layer of his creation always use the things that I buy”. the University of Florida, envisages feeds of your mess. Now, however, Yet even if she was offered money, know- new organisms that can “offer quali- the possibilities are a little less radi- ing Becks she wouldn’t feel happy taking it. ties outside the realm of whatever cal. Getting it to work seems to be the “We are all students and I don’t feel com- nature can conceivably provide”. priority. fortable accepting money from people for doing Who knows, a few years down the One thing can be said though, something that I enjoy anyway. The compromise line there may be a little creature don’t look to the sky for alien life; is being paid in alcohol. If someone gives me a One of the campus Fusion models scampering around the lake clearing look in the bottom of a test tube bottle of wine in exchange for one of my bags shows off Becks’ customised clothing up after the geese! somewhere in Los Alamos, Mexico. M8 FEATURE MUSE 21/06/05 Save the world on a budget

n the seventies it was vogue to dance around barefoot to John Lennon and campaign to Isave the world - nowadays people seem to have given up and thrown their maracas away. It is common knowledge that apathy is on the rise, even among young people who traditionally embody the greatest social idealism. Indeed stu- dents form a large proportion of the forty per cent of the UK population that doesn’t even turn out to vote. Yet a newly published book entitled Change the world for a fiver, argues that it is not that peo- ple have lost their social conscience but rather that the insurmountable ‘scale of the problems induces a state of paralysis’. This statement rings true. Despite the fact that the government’s chief scientific advisers have pinpointed climate change as a far greater threat to our planet than international terrorism, it is easy to become numb to this reality, even when we can actually see great chunks of Greenland falling into the ocean. The thought of becoming ‘environmentally friendly’ can not only conjure up the unpleasant image of living in a tree and weaving your clothes out of recycled hemp, but also the disquieting possibility that perhaps we are all too insignificant and too late to make a real difference to our world. After all crusading to save the planet along- side trying to save your degree and enjoying your youth is a pretty tall order. Not many students have the time or the finances to install a solar Ride to lectures, powered generator to their James College en- suite, or buy a car that runs on vegetable oil. Yet don’t drive. Change the World for a Fiver with its ‘fifty Tuition fees will actions to change the world and make you feel be enough to good’ aims to provide easier and more affordable worry about solutions to going green. without having The book is created by the We are What we Do movement and it’s philosophy is simple; ‘We to pay for aim to show the power of a simple shift in atti- parking too tudes and day-to-day behaviour’. As it argues, people ‘think we have to leave change to govern- reducing the temperature on your thermostat can you go to www.fonebak.org you can recycle your ers, Enya and idealism. However at the same ments or big business even though we also know actually cut your heating bill by £25 per year. old mobile and stop it becoming part of the prob- time even staunch cynics cannot deny that the that we elect governments and that our spending Another surprising fact is the amount of lem. suggestions the book makes are so easy to do and is what creates big business. Surely the question waste that is generated simply by leaving the tap The Computer Recycling Project in can actually save you money to render it worth a is not whether we should act alone but how we on while you are brushing your teeth. ‘It wastes Grimston house will also happily take old or bro- shot. can act together’. up to 9 litres of water a minute, or 26’000 litres ken computers and donate them to a worthy Understandably most students feel disillu- So if you are up for it, how can you change of water per household, per year. This means cause. sioned by the knowledge that just because they the world for a fiver? The first thing that the book your street alone could fill an Olympic sized Furthermore, if you have empty printer do the decent thing and recycle their vodka bot- suggests is simply to carry a shopping bag and swimming pool every year.’ Furthermore, so inkjet cartridges, Tommy’s, a baby charity will tles every week, this will probably not counter ‘decline using plastic bags wherever possible’. It much power and water could be saved if people recycle them at no cost, just call 0800 435576 to the damage caused to the environment by the sounds small but ‘every person in the country only used less water in their kettles, and this has order some free envelopes. Recycling books is millions of petrol guzzling Chevrolet drivers uses an average of 134 plastic bags every year. the added benefit that it saves you hanging also a good idea and this can make you money over in Kansas. It is true that the future of our That’s 8 billion bags all together. All of which around for your caffeine fix. too, Your:Books normally offer a rebate of at environment will largely be dictated by the deci- take 500 years to decay’. And anyway you will Recycling is a really easy way to make a least 45% of what you paid for a book originally. sions made by major world leaders, such as those look so much more chic and continental carrying difference, yet it is something that very few peo- Another nice thing to do is to donate your old meeting at the forthcoming G8 summit in your carrots in a nice wicker number, than in a ple do. Most of York’s JCRC’s provide recycling glasses to a charity like www.vao.org.uk who Scotland. However despite all of the reasons rather passé Costcutter original. facilities for glass, paper and plastic goods. send them to people in developing countries who encouraging passivity, anyone who reads Other small acts include turning off unnec- However, if you live off campus you may be in cant afford them - ‘200 million people around the ‘Change the World for a fiver’ cannot help being essary lights and using energy saving lightbulbs. one of the lucky zones that has access to a kerb- world need spectacles every year’. Recycling inspired and empowered by its suggestions. It is In fact the book estimates that energy saving side recycling scheme, or if not recycling banks these kind of things really can make a difference perhaps because this book really shows how peo- lightbulbs can save you around £65 in the long shouldn’t be too far away. See to people’s lives. ple can do their bit and take responsibility for run. Furthermore merely turning your central www.york.gov.uk/waste/recycling for more The book goes on to advocate many other their piece of the world, however small that heating thermostat down by 1° and switching off information. ideas that would change society for the better, might be, which lies behind its appeal. electrical applications at the mains can really However there are also less obvious prod- such as sticking to the 30mph speed limit, build- Rachel Ringstead reduce a household’s energy consumption. ucts that you can recycle too. Many people don’t ing links with your neighbours, smiling at According to We are what we do, ‘a video realise that ‘15 million mobile phones are strangers more and spending time with different recorder on standby uses almost as much elec- replaced in the UK every year. This equates to generations. Admittedly at times it can be a Change the World for a Fiver, £5, Amazon, tricity as one playing a tape.’ Not only do such 1500 tonnes of landfill. That’s about the same as cheesy read that was quite possibly written by a or if you want to save paper, visit their website actions save energy but they also save money; burying a World War 2 Destroyer’. However if bunch of vegans in a room full of dream-catch- at www.wearewhatwedo.com M10 FEATURE MUSE 21/06/05 The latest statements Helen Edge explores the new debate on charity wristbands and questions whether we really wear them for a good cause

ook around your seminar group or, indeed, some people don’t know about it”. any group of people on a night out in town But it’s not just Make Poverty History that Land more likely than not you’ll see them students on campus are supporting. Second year sporting the latest fashion accessory: the plastic, History student Noel Davies sports a pink breast coloured wristband. Turn on the television and cancer awareness band, as “my mother had to go you’re faced with a similar scenario as celebrities for a mammogram a couple of years ago and from pop stars and footballers to Tony Blair are although everything turned out to be fine, it was wearing wristbands of a variety of colours. still a terrifying experience. Although I’m a man However, this is a trend with a difference and not and less likely to be affected myself by breast purely to keep up with the times, as money from cancer, I still want to show my support to the the bands goes straight to the charity which pro- cause”. As a whole then, it seems that the major- duces them. The question though is why? Why are charities suddenly producing plastic fashion accessories to raise money? Are the days of rib- bons, stuffed toy animal keyrings and flowers Charities are constantly now a thing of the past and how did this trend searching for new ways come about? The wristband craze was initiated by Tour to raise money. The de France multiple winner Lance Armstrong after he was diagnosed with testicular cancer and wristbands are just one given a 40 per cent chance of survival. He set up of many ideas designed the Lance Armstrong Foundation and produced yellow wristbands with his motto ‘Livestrong’ to make people give imprinted on them. Not only was yellow the colour of the winner’s top in the Tour de France, ity of students on campus are wearing their bands it also symbolises the hope, courage and perse- with pride to show their support and awareness. verance of cancer patients. After Armstrong’s The charities themselves must be benefiting recovery and subsequent sixth Tour de France then as the wristbands are easier to notice in most win, the sale of wristbands escalated and is now cases than the lapel badges previously worn and in constant demand. in buying a wristband you’re also making your- Further wristband campaigns were self fashionable. More people than ever are giv- launched after seeing the success of ‘Livestrong’. ing to charities in this way and Diabetes UK have These included black and white double ones, as sold out of their magenta “a future without dia- worn by footballer Thierry Henry campaigning betes” wristbands and are launching a limited against violence in football and blue ones edition two-coloured one to mark Diabetes Week launched by Radio One to coincide with the in June. Make Poverty History also use their Government’s anti-bullying week last November. white wristbands to convey a sense of unity to a HIV and AIDS charity Until There’s a Cure also cause to end acute poverty, stressing on their launched a range of silver and gold metal website that the most important thing is that “you bracelets, emblazoned with a raised AIDS ribbon just wear it.” to help raise awareness and recognition that any- Is this a sure-fire way of fundraising for one can be infected with AIDS. Other charities charities then? The outlook looks good, but there soon followed suit, with pink for breast cancer are some snags. Obviously the majority of chari- care, red for heart disease, purple for Cystic ties in the country are under funded and constant- Fibrosis, blue for the Asian Tsunami relief fund ly searching for new ways to raise money, the and white for the prominent Make Poverty wristbands are just one of many ideas designed to History campaign, urging rich countries to cancel make people give. The major problem they do Third World debt. face, though, is bogus suppliers of fake bands, It would appear then that the desire to pro- often on the streets of large cities, where none of duce ribbons and flowers is rapidly wearing thin, the money goes to the charity, so it’s worthwhile now that a large proportion of the population are to make sure that you buy bands from reputable cashing in on the wristbands, therefore donating suppliers or from the charity’s official website. much-needed money to charities. There are obvi- Wristbands were also subject to bad public- ously many reasons for this sudden shift, and ity when it emerged that the silicon Make here are a couple from people on campus. Firstly, Poverty History ones were made in Chinese as Steph Thomson, Merchandise and sweat shops, so whilst you were supporting the Sponsorship Officer for Halifax suggests “it’s cause to end global poverty, simultaneously you because celebs wear them and it’s also a chance were giving money to exploitative factories, to support a certain charity like Make Poverty which Jon Wilkinson points out is “pretty awful, History”, which means that not only are we help- because exploitation is being used alongside an ing a good cause, but in doing so we’re also emu- honourable cause”. lating are favourite stars. Oliver Griffiths, a sec- For now, though, the wristband craze is a ond year English student also agrees that the popular way of supporting and recognising a cer- wristbands are a good way of showing support tain charity. It has definitely pushed lapel badges for a chosen charity. He also wears a Make into the history books and has helped raising Poverty History one, as he thinks it’s “especially awareness and money into the front line of fash- important to awareness just before the G8 as ion. Long may it continue! MUSE 21/06/05 COMMENT M11 Robbie Dale

Rule of the mob: does democracy really work?

lections are so depressing. Most inevitability is that the European people you ask don't bother to nations will have to pull together if Euse their vote, the ones that do America and China are ever going to are usually caught up in some irrele- have some middle ground to help bal- vant agenda, and many voters will ance the planet. take to the polls with little knowledge All that the French and Dutch at all of the issue they have been given have done if force the EU and its the power to decide. There was clear- member states to spend even more ly a case of this in France and The public money on fiddling around with Netherlands recently as 'the mob' the political building blocks to get a chose to vote against the adoption of shape 'the mob' are more happy with. the European Constitution. I will save All those who think money should be the pro-Europe rant for another time spent on health and education say however, as what I have in mind today Merci Beaucoup... is something far more crucial to all My real point here, irrelevant of our lives; the prevailing insistence the implications surrounding this par- that democracy is something useful. ticular political issue, is that there Now, I imagine that right now seems to be little positive effect to you can't quite believe what you're ever arise from democracy. I'm sure The voice of the people is always the loudest, but it’s not necessarily always right. Photo: Toby Hall reading. Did he just suggest that people will be searching for their democracy is a bad thing? Did he?! soap-boxes as they read this, but I will campus elections regularly through- well educated experts is, well, a bit Indeed, one could argue that it is only Did he?! Well yes, I wholeheartedly need to hear something pretty persua- out the year (and some of those elect- crap. in contentious times, times when even did. I understand that most people sive to change my mind. Democracy, ed actually do important things I suppose the draw of democracy the experts are baffled by exactly consider our society and all our rights in theory is a great idea, in fact in the- despite what the student population is all to do with keeping rights that what to do that the great unwashed are to be built on the concept of democra- ory (and I mean theory in such a clin- will forever believe). I shudder to have been fought for over the years. allowed to have their say! cy. I even acknowledge the thought ical way it hurts) it is one of the great- think how many incompetents have Although maybe it's that democracy Of course, here in the UK we are that the people might wish to hold any est ideas in history. Unfortunately, it been elected over the years to the allows the blame to be spread far and unlikely to have a vote on the form of leadership to account. I just relies on the voters to be objective, detriment of student welfare. wide? I suspect, however, that for the European Constitution in the current have a huge problem with the idea intelligent and sensible. By nature, The question I pose therefore is most part no one’s really thought climate, so I guess we'll have to make that the general public, the people humanity is none of these things. why does society continue to consider about it. When a problem arises, and do with Big Brother. Unlike the real who put The Crazy Frog at number We've just had a general elec- democracy a valid form of dictating ministers or other leaders are too world of politics however, at least on one, have the slightest right to make tion; imagine how many talented the future? To my mind a process that scared to make decisions on it, they Channel 4 the public cannot fail but judgements on things they know noth- would-be MPs were shunned by nar- puts the general consensus of popular- can call for a referendum, a vote from do the right thing and vote an idiot out ing about. row-minded party fanatics? We have ity above an informed choice made by the masses to give the magic answer. of 'the house'. To take the European Constitution votes as a case in point, those of you who have had a glance at the paper will know that the main point is to provide better working practices for the European Union. Worship the domestic goddess within This will not as such change the aims of the EU, but allow more transparen- OK, it's time to own up - who can't are. This was brought to my attention an egg the same way you fry anything University. We’re even encouraged to cy and accountability that can only be make their own bed yet? Ok, and who most recently when I was round at a else and achieved the blank look I was embrace the student stereotype and of benefit to the populations of mem- is still at a loss to understand how the friend’s house and one of their flat after. It just makes me wonder some- this, of course, means being as ber states. I can only imagine that washing machine works? Fine, fine... mates asked the immortal question: times, how many blokes are in Toff's domestically backwards as possible. those who are against the constitution and who still can't cook? I thought “how do you fry an egg?” Now, I of a Tuesday nervous that if they pull, But what of the real world? A third of are against a European Union alto- you were doing a PhD? You are?! And wouldn't normally knock someone for the girl will invite herself back to his all Undergraduates are about to head gether. Unfortunately voting against you still can't cook? lacking certain skills, or even for lack- place, because as it's nearing the end off into real jobs, in real places with the constitution (which, lets face it, is No... Pot Noodles don't count. ing knowledge on the most basic of of term, it has been ten weeks since real houses to look after; let's hope a already being put into effect whether I'm nearing the end of my third year subjects, but I'm sure you'd have been Mum washed the sheets... degree from York is enough to secure you like it or not) makes no real dif- here at York, and it still never fails to on my side when, after half-choking At least (in some vague sense) the kind of salary that brings with it a ference in the long term. The amaze me how useless some people on a stifled laugh, I told him you fry all is ok while you're still at maid. AT A GLANCE JUNE 2005 The stories that made the paper this year

Clockwise from top left: Stuart Leslie raises the Roses trophy as York win their forth title in three years; York graduate James Brandon is filmed by Reuters in the hands of Iraqi terrorists last year; Colleges stop buying unethical clothing for their hoodies and other merchandise, part of a campaign by nouse; The improb- ably titled Nadsat Fashion perform at battle of the bands - won by rockers The Morning Thieves; York take on Lancaster head to head in men’s lacrosse during Roses; the Media Charter debate at the start of the year raised questions about freedom of speech and press responsibility; Students collecting money for charity around York on the annual ‘Rag Parade’ M14 ARTS MUSE 21/06/05 The Japanese Ana Fletcher discovers a passion for Japan

ord Tokugawa Ieyasu is probably not a were my thoughts as D-day (that's 'D' for dead- name you remember from school history line) loomed ever nearer, and the inevitability of Llessons; in fact, you may well never have the visit became impossible to ignore. Pro Plus has teamed up with 8 times Memory World encountered it before. It hardly rolls off the Childhood memories of aching feet while being (Western) tongue, and just getting the spelling dragged around war museums, each featuring Champion, Dominic O’Brien, to provide students right requires more effort than the average stu- the same, endless, green-tinged replicas of rifles with some memory tips to help them revise dent is likely to expend in a day. But hop on the and gas masks, had made me wary of all things next flight to Japan, or, alternatively, get bellicose, as well as of all things old for that mat- 1) Association 2)Acronyms 3) Mental Pictures googling old Ieyasu, and you’ll soon realise that ter. 4) The Journey Method 5) The Rule of Five you’ve been missing out on a serious legend. Happily, a lot has changed since my oh-so- Responsible for unifying hundreds of rival fac- distant childhood days, and theRoyal Armouries tions into what we now know as Japan, as well Museum is actually leading the way. Hell, it's as bringing peace and prosperity under his won a 'Visitor Attraction of the Year' award, The Pro Plus research also shows that the top revision break lengthy rule, Tokugawa is still today revered as quite the achievement by any standards, and in activity is watching daytime TV, with Neighbours as the most a God. Move over Bismarck, make way particular considering it's based in Leeds. The popular choice of programme. To help students work out exactly Garibaldi; Lord Tokugawa is the unifier of the museum is a great big modern building on the what their revision break should be Pro Plus has developed a moment. River Aire, with five separate galleries and more revision reward fruit machine. Visit www.revisionreward.co.uk For all readers now tearing their hair out, interactive activities than you could shake a cursing the Eurocentric bias of their schooling, child at. It's an easy walk from the city centre, to see if you are entitled to enjoy a half hour session of and begging for it to be redressed, fear not; the free entry, and boasts a well-stocked shop where Countdown, a cup of tea or a drink in your local with mates. path to enlightenment is short, and costs a mere you can pick up anything from a full set of £5.80 return with a Young Person's Railcard. samurai swords, great for impressing guests a la That's right, the Royal Armouries Museum in ‘Kill Bill’, to a full set of Warhammer models, Also to help students get through exams Pro Plus is giving away Leeds is currently the home of 'Shogun: The Life great for, well, not a lot really . revision reward packs. Each one contains a PlayStation game, cine- of Lord Tokugawa Ieyasu', an exhibition dedi- But I digress. The purpose of my visit was ma tickets and a chocolate bar – all in a record bag. To enter simply cated to (surprisingly enough) documenting to check out what is being hailed as 'one of the answer the following question: Lord Tokugawa's ascension to power and glory most important displays of Japanese heritage What is the name of the eight times Memory World Champion? through a series of spectacular battles and deft and culture ever to be seen within the United political manoeuvres. Kingdom'. If that hasn't impressed you, bear in Admittedly, a day trip to a museum with mind that the eighty 'breathtaking' objects on Answer’s sent to [email protected], response required by end the words 'Royal Armouries' in its title is per- display are leaving their sacred shrine for the of week ten. The editor’s decision is, of course, final haps simply asking for too much. At least these first time, and are of such religious importance YORKRAG PRESENTS: Woodstock The ultimate summer festival on Vanbrugh Bowl, with 2 stages, juggling, festival treats, market stalls

On Saturday the 25th of June, 12 til 12 The ultimate summer festival! Vanbrugh Bowl, featuring two stages, juggling, festival treats, market stalls

In aid of mind: for better mental health. In association with Carling and SSHH! MUSE 21/06/05 ARTS M15

Exclusive British invade Yorkshire Asian Theatre Showcase in York

when she visits the latest offering from the Royal Armouries Museum Behind every door there is...an unseen woman. - The Unseen Woman, a production to be per- that they were accompanied by two priests formed on Tuesday and Wednesday in Week 9, on the journey over from Japan, to ensure their reveals these women and tells their stories. The safekeeping. Keep bearing it in mind as you innovative interweaving of three contemporary hand over the £4.50 for your entry ticket; surely plays by British Asian writers - Bells by Yasmin a couple of drinks can be forsaken for such a Whittaker Kahn; Chaos by Azma Dar; and unique learning experience. Ammah by Takbir Uddi - will allow British audi- Because, yes, 'Shogun' is actually a highly ences access to a strikingly different culture, but impressive, and unquestionably unique exhibi- one that very much exists within their own. tion. You may think you've seen enough objects Latest official estimates indicate that British- in glass cases to last you a lifetime, but the ones Indians number almost a million, the British- on display in Leeds at the moment will beat Pakistani community a further 675,000 and them all hands down. The armour, costumes, Bangladeshi 257,000 (source: BBC news). screens, weapons, scrolls, books and banners Additionally, a further 242,000 people in Britain that make up the exhibition are of genuine inter- have varying Asian backgrounds; a clear indica- est, and are complemented by engaging and tion that the time is ripe for their culture to be informative panels. I can now tell you that discovered and understood by the rest of the Tokugawa Ieyasu came to power in the early country. The Birmingham Rep certainly thinks 17th century, largely due to his leadership of the so; Kali Theatre Company’s touring productions massive battle of Seki-ga-Hara, which left over of Bells and Chaos began life in The Door, the 36,000 dead in one day (alright, I had to check theatre’s studio space, and Ammah debuted at the website for the number). At the exhibition their showcase for new, young writers, The you can see the actual battle plan diagrams used, Transmissions Festival, last July. In 21st centu- as well as the massive golden fan that was ry, multicultural Britain, the issues raised in the Tokugawa's battle standard. Tokugawa was sub- plays, as the productions’ acclaimed runs show, sequently given the title of Shogun, which grant- can no longer be ignored. ed him full control of the army, and upon his Each of the plays lets us into a world rarely death was made into a deity. seen and often suppressed; from the decadent The highlights are undoubtedly the amaz- mujra club hidden behind the façade of a ing full-sets of armour on display, so much more respectable butcher’s shop in Bells, to the local colourful and enjoyable than the Western stuff, muslim councilor hiding his cultural identity that in particular the helmets that cover the full face creates Chaos, via the eponymous Ammah, fea- and come with bushy moustaches stuck on, pre- turing a matriarch trying to hide her dishonoured sumably to intimidate the enemy. Also enticing son’s marriage to a gori (white girl), behind an are the computerised touch-screen reproductions arranged marriage. As articulated by Azma Dar, of the original books held within the cases, so all three explore and combine the ‘cliches of a that you can actually browse through the pages British-Asian family battling to straddle two cul- (they even turn from right to left). tures’. Dar’s central characters in Chaos repre- There’s also a special section for the less sent the difficulties of such duplicity through the energetic of the visitors; a zen area with benches juxtaposition of Mr Rizvi’s westernised attitude for relaxation and meditation; a little tacky in with Mrs Rizvi’s traditional, almost fundamen- relation to the rest of the exhibition, but decided- talist views. Yasmin Whittaker Khan exposes in ly useful for putting up the aforementioned tired Bells the supposedly respectful, religious Asians feet and shutting out restless children. who visit the exotic mujra clubs, with their danc- ing girls and prostitutes, ‘condemning these vul- nerable women in public whilst pursuing them in Move over Bismarck, private’. Finally, Ammah by Takbir Uddin make way Garibaldi; addresses the problem of mixed race relation- ships in contemporary Britain: ‘I wanted to get Lord Tokugawa is the the message across that these things happen and unifier of the moment. we have to accept it and move on to bring cul- tures closer together.’ If you’re still not convinced, time your trip The York University production, from the well and you may catch one of the many extra A schoolboy challenges two fully-clad samurais at the exhibition’s opening same team who presented last term’s The Vagina cultural and artistic activities organised by the Monologues to you, is a benefit performance for Museum to make your experience all the more the Anah project, a Women's Refuge for Asian enriching. These include origami, temari, and Women who have suffered from domestic vio- kumihimo demonstrations (that’s paper-folding, What have the Shoguns ever done for us? lence, based in Bradford. The women that thread balls and braiding to us), and there’s also The word ‘Shogun’ is a shortened version of the longer ‘Seii Taishogun’, receive help from the project are very much like flower-arranging, painting, and calligraphy. For those represented on stage in The Unseen those seeking more visceral entertainment, there which translates as ‘Barbarian-destroying Commander in Chief ’.For centuries, Woman, in that they all face varieties of domes- are martial arts demonstrations, as well as the real power in Japan was held by the Shogun, who commanded the military, tic abuse: financial, emotional, physical, psycho- rather ominous-sounding horse archery. And if while the Emperor saw to the ceremonial aspect of government. An integral logical, sexual. Women fight this treatment you find that you just can’t get enough of that part of the social hierarchy were the samurais, warriors and members of the daily, unseen and unacknowledged and since the Samurai sensation, you can go all out and sign military class, widely renowned for their sword skills. charity’s inception in 1993, The Anah Project up for my personal favourite, the Shogun has offered safe and secure accommodation for Sleepover. Asian women without children. The work of the The exhibition’s final merit rests in its size, We’ve been influenced by Japan in more ways than you may realise, Anah project is vital, as Asian women fleeing which is mercifully small. A well-administered check these out: domestic abuse need a refuge in which their cul- shot of quality over quantity that allows you to ture, tradition and unique situation will be both walk out feeling simultaneously erudite and itch- The 1960 Western ‘The Magnificent Seven’ is based on the Kurosawa understood and respected. ing for more. By buying a ticket to this show you will not To exit the exhibition you must first pass classic, ‘Seven Samurai’. One review calls it ‘nowhere near as good’. only be treating yourself to an evening’s enter- through the inevitable gift shop, this one exclu- tainment, but also helping women who, without sively dedicated to Shogun-related material. Darth Vader’s iconic mask is based on those worn by 16th and 17th charities and events such as this, would remain Which doesn’t quite explain the plastic monkey century samurai. Don’t believe us? Go over to Leeds and see for unseen. As the director Amy Beeson demands, keyrings, but we’ll let that one pass. yourself. ‘If women don’t draw attention to the plight of other women, then who else will?’- Beth Pitts) ‘Shogun: the Life of Lord Tokugawa Ieyasu’ is on at the Royal Armouries Exhibition in Leeds Remember Otomo, the cyborg samurai in Robocop III? Neither do Watch The Unseen Woman at 7.30 in until the 30th August 2005. Check out we, but the film wouldn’t have been the same without him. PX001 on 21st and 22nd June. Tickets www.shogun.org.uk are £4, available from Your:Shop. M16 FEATURE MUSE 21/06/05

Things to do when you finish The ways of boring your degree JCRs and their kids Dan Searle clearly has some spare time on his hands

ooooo! We've all finished!!! Unless you do a proper degree, like one involving numbers, or if you're not a Wthird year, or if you're not even a student, or if you've failed all your exams and have to do them again. But ignoring this small majority, it's time to party! Then, when you've run out of money within a few days, it's time to not Miranda Addey does something involving JCRS that will party! Wahey!!! So what can the metropolitan graduand-about- town do with their newly-acquired spare time? Hmm? No, you take up two whole lines of exciting subhead textings no I can't do that. Or that. Sorry. Hey, don't worry, little guy. Things will turn out O.K, I promise. I compiled a list for you. think that three lines are needed for the full excitement It's called 'Things you could and shouldn't do'. It'll make every- thing better again, like they were before Daddy left. Organise a protest march. After everyone realised that Bush's hat does the average York union, and the administrative side of Student’s Association. To get people War on Foreigners and tuition fees were really great ideas after University student think of Uni.” involved they: “have worked incredibly all, there's been a dearth of banner-bearing students gallivanting Wwhen they hear the letters Without the college systems, there hard to include all students in our deci- down roads in London. More please. There’ll be at least one JCR? Is it an organisation designed to probably wouldn’t be such a diverse sion making. The minutes from our amateur political theorist who, in an attempt to impress a girl, give students the best opportunities and range of events. James Flinders the chair meetings are on our website. We have protests too eagerly and gets ACTUALLY DEVOURED by support, or is it some secret society taint- of Halifax college says “There is rivalry Question Time (where any member of police dogs. Also, the march as a whole will be shown for ed with cliquieness, student politics and with other colleges, although this Halifax can ask questions to any Officer) around twenty seconds on Channel 4 News, and, from above, boring committee meetings? Miranda encourages us to offer the very best serv- for the first fifteen minutes of every resemble a huge, politically active Chinese dragon. But made of Addey peruses the world of JCRCs, and ices to our students.” There is definitely meeting.” Should representing more placards. If there aren’t any issues against which to slap your asks what is it JCRCs do? rivalry, for example rag reps are encour- people get you more money? Halifax is umbrage, then abuse a social minority first. Then protest away! JCRCs, which stands for Junior aged to raise as much as possible to by far the biggest college and James In every group of friends, except those who met through a Common Room Committee, are elected increases their college totals (amount Flinders thinks so: “We believe that col- sports team, there’s always one pseudo-intellectual BASTARD annually in the autumn term by each col- raised), and college sport relies on this to lege funding should be done on the num- who physically poops a philological poop on the post-degree lege as a whole and officially take over entice people to play. But is this a good ber of students, rather than by YUSU's party by informing everyone that, now they’ve finished, they’re at the Christmas Ball. They range from thing? The rag Parade, earlier this year, finance committee.” going to attend the lectures of other subjects. Instead of about 35 to the maximum 45, sharing was marred with petty rivalry between embarking upon this Pooptopian voyage, however, you could about 20 posts. These cover all the colleges. As Stephen Hill, chair of write and present a series of your own lectures. Try it yourself! aspects of student life, and provide the Langwith says “The rivalries are good Things can For example, I know a lot about the computer game ‘Lemmings’ main focus for college life (as opposed and promote participation and loyalty to sometimes seem – so I might give one lecture on the different skills, one on some to university life). your college as long as it is not taken too of the more interesting levels, and one on the sequels, such as The positions vary greatly, and pro- far.” How far is too far? unfair: the JCR of ‘Oh No! More Lemmings’, ‘Lemmings 2’, and ‘Lemmings vide a framework of activities and The main complaint of people sur- 3D’. What am I saying. I’m such a breast. resources for each college’s students to veyed about the JCR system is about Derwent get into Don’t jump in the lake. Too many other people have been enjoy. Goodricke Eco reps recently put their cliquieness, and therefore the diffi- Club D for free as there before, it’s cold, wet, and slimy, you’ll contract numerous on a successful Eco afternoon where culty to get involved in them, if you did diseases, and you might get a duck lodged up your anus. If you people could found about environmental want to. In response to this most colleges it is traditionally a want that experience, go on the bonk in Ziggy’s on a Friday. issues, and win prizes for recycling. say that JCRCs are simply not cliquey. richer college than Have a campus wank. Without JCRCs Fresher’s week wouldn’t Fran Tarrant says “One of the positive Have a nuzzle through your old photos from the first year. be as diverse, and show such a complete benefits of joining JCRCs' is the social the others When the nostalgic tears have dried, and the scars reopened by guide to student life . Ents reps across life, which is very involved and can memories of Hilda, and the good old boys who went to fight for the Uni have provided students with big often appear to be cliquey.” Compare it Certainly things appear unfair in their country, have once again closed, oh, times were hard, then DJs such as DJ Spoony, love dough DJs to living with people in halls. You other sides of college provision. do this please: Find a photo taken at a party. Find a person who and and drum’n’bass DJs. Bar officers become friends, to outsiders this seems Derwent are traditionally a rich college, you don’t know in the background of said photo. Then actually make sure your trip down to your college cliquey. The same thing happens in as Anouska Widdess says: “Their JCR go and find them, and, brandishing the photo, talk to them about bar is always interesting. With them you JCRCs, except in that case they all have gets into Club D for free, whereas James how great that party was! Yeah! Those were wild times, man, couldn’t win that crate of beer at the quiz something in common: they all want to can’t really afford that.” Vanbrugh have wild times! We should totally catch up sometime! Yeah! Then, or humiliate yourself in front of all your get involved. Stephen encapsulates this recently had a refit, making old after befriending them for the last two weeks of your university peers singing bad oasis. Each college has “By their very nature, the people in them Vanbrugh bar completely over. Langwith life, deliberately offend them and never see them again. welfare students whose sole purpose is spend a lot of time together so do have just had their eating provisions When I was young, if I told my mum that I was bored, to look after the wellbeing of their col- become friends and are social - this may taken away to make way for a new lec- she'd always suggest the same list of activities. 'You could draw lege’s students. They usually offer drop appear cliquey to outsiders.” Outsiders? ture room. Stephen doesn’t find this fair: a picture,' she'd proffer, 'or play in the garden, or write a story.' in sessions and supply their own person- It is possible to tell a lot about the “we feel Langwith is neglected by com- But, mum, I know I can do those things. You've suggested them al email addresses as a starting point for mindset of a JCRC by its constitution. A mercial services and the university as a every time I've asked for the past seven years. Have you got any people with concerns about any issues. constitution basically sets out what the whole - much money has been plied into other ideas? 'You could draw a picture. Or play in the garden, But what are the motivations role of the JCRC is and the role of each Vanbrugh and Derwent whilst ignoring or write a story.' Good idea, mum! They all sound like lots of behind people getting involved in these position. Halifax for example: its new that Langwith blatantly needs a refur- fun! You big spanner. So why not pay homage to having too things? There will always be a great (passed) constitution basically sets itself bishment” And nowhere for Langwith to much spare time by ringing up my mum and, without so much polarisation of people who attend uni- apart from any governing body. eat as a college, “is ridiculous as this as a by-your-leave, repeatedly tell her to 'Draw a picture! Play versity- those that really want to have a “HCSA is an unincorporated asso- provided a good meeting place and focus in the garden! Write a story! Draw a picture! Play in the gar- part in absolutely everything and those ciation which derives its exempt charita- for the college”. den! Write a story! Draw a picture! Play in the garden! Write on the polar opposite who do nothing ble status from its association with Student politics it may well be but a story!' Try variations, such as foreign languages, or culminat- other than degrees. Anouska Widdess, Halifax College at the University of without them there would be less options ing in a four-part harmonised choral piece which makes t'old James Chair, encompasses this with her York.” for York students to explore in their Brenda Searle believe she's actually just received a phonecall statement: “people are either really James Flinders says: “We're an everyday life. It is definitely a goal of from God. enthusiastic or massively apathetic.” independent unincorporated association JCRCs to represent and provide for the One night, when the moon is shining beams of celestial JCRCs definitely offer a great opportuni- which is an exempt charity. We have no students. As Richard Croker, Derwent value unto rogues and vagabonds, nip into all the computer ty to get involved in the running of those formal relationship with YUSU, chair, puts it “(If I could have one thing rooms on campus. Log on to each computer individually, then things that effect students the most. As although we work closely with YUSU for my JCRC) I suppose a college where push the mouse down through the inevitable brush-covered most JCRC chairs agree, they provide a and the GSA to get the best deals for every member was involved and active hole. The mice, having crossed their equivalent of the river first step on that ladder. In the words of Halifaxers.” It has combined the JCR and had a strong collegiate nature.” Styx, will never be found again, and you will have total control Fran Tarrant, Alcuin Chair: “a bridge and GCR and has become a charitable JCRCs can’t represent everyone; but over the university. And infinite lives. Get a job. between college students, the students organisation, known as Halifax College they sure try. MUSE 21/06/05 FEATURE M17 New year Join York’s oldest paper at Freshers New look Fair 2006

We’re looking for Summer Week Nine Tuesday 15 June 2005 www.nouse.co.uk students with flair, Estd 1964 dedication and NOUSE passion to join our team for next year. Roses victory 2005 If you’re interested Turn to back pages and Muse in any of the following fields, York graduate steals £30,000 from then let us know. professor in identity fraud campus Former student given four year sentence journalism Credit card and loans run up huge debts Six month drinking and gambling spree photography By Lauren Carter When Ashby was finally found two rooms full of com- EDITOR caught by the police in puter equipment at one of October, he had nearly his home addresses in York. YORK PROFESSOR Sultan £10,000 in cash as well as a Bentall has confirmed food & drink Barakat unknowingly funded list of personal details and that the police are currently the extravagant lifestyle of a credit card numbers for 140 trying to reunite Professor former student who stole his people in the York area. Barakat and the other vic- financial details and Defending, Simon Waley tims of Ashby’s fraud with comment claimed Ashby had been their money. The fraudulent comment defrauded him of £29,000 to spend on drinking and given the list by a stranger accounts that Ashby created gambling. and had only used some of have all been frozen and he Joseph Ashby, a gradu- the details to feed his alcohol will learn at a hearing on ate from the University, and betting addictions. July 15th how much of his advertising received a four year prison However, when passing illegal goods will be confis- sentence during the Easter sentence, the Honorary cated. vacation for running up Recorder of York, Judge Paul Recent police reports debts of over £40,000 in Hoffman, told Ashby: “I have reveal that identity theft and other people’s names, includ- no doubt that had you not large-scale fraud of this websites ing the substantial sum been apprehended when you nature is becoming an stolen using Professor were, you would have gone increasing problem in York Barakat’s identity. on to use the full extent of and as many as three cases York Crown Court heard the list.” are seen each month. Bentall how Ashby drank and gam- Ashby pleaded guilty to also explained that many finance bled away most of the money seven charges of deception incidents are left unreported in venues around the city in and four of transferring because credit card compa- just six months. Andrew criminal property. His nies offer insurance and reg- Kershaw, prosecuting, defence requested a further ularly write off debts. design explained: “People who knew nineteen offenses to be taken Ron Johnson, him when he was in York say into consideration on the spokesperson for North his life was simply a party. basis of his addiction. “He Yorkshire Police, warned stu- He lived in hotels and bars.” was continuing to lead a dents to be particularly vigi- Professor Barakat, a completely fake life”, Waley lant and be aware of how satire Politics academic at the said. easily these crimes are per- University, was a close neigh- As well as spending petrated. He commented: bour of Ashby and living in excessively on nights out, the “the recent government cam- the same building in Melrose Court heard how Ashby ran paign offers sound advice. Court when he was targeted up further debts buying com- People need to be careful and the arts at the end of last year. Ashby puters. Detective Constable keep their personal details applied for a £20,000 loan Pete Bentall, one of the secure.” in the Professor’s name and police officers investigating Johnson explained stu- also set up two credit card the case, revealed that they dents should be aware accounts, running them both music to their limits. Professor Barakat, who had been away HESLINGTON EAST from home, realised what had happened when he Exclusive interviews with the York politics returned to find a “night- academics leading the fight against mare postbag” of payment demands and letters from the University’s development plans solicitors regarding credit agreements he had never Pages 4–5 film made. Joseph Ashby starting his four year term for fraud. Photo by York Evening Press MUSE 21/06/05 REVIEWS M19 Arts Reviews

Nan Langfeldt-Flory experiences Stephan Poliakoff’s Sweet Panic at the Drama Barn and for cardboard London to come crashing scarily uptight Mrs. Trevel and an equally believ- down around Clare’s ears. As it is, there are some ably Alex Hargreaves as Richard, although he did major potential crises, such as Richard’s fright- falter a little in the more highly charged, emo- ening attack in the park, but by the end of the tional scene in the park. play you realise that it is Clare’s fear of the col- The use of 13-year-old patient Jess’ card- lapse of her rigorously structured world that puts board models of London to set the different her and the audience so on edge. When she final- scenes around the city was an effective tech- ly relinquishes her strangle hold on life, the omi- nique, demonstrating how Clare is defined by her nous shadow ceases to follow her. An interesting young patients; she, as Jess earlier demands, is concept, the play lacks believability; why would seeing London through Jess’ eyes. Throughout a woman with such control over her life, who the play, Clare acts as the children’s mouthpiece, apparently holds her work so close to her heart (if taking on their voices, but at the same time they anything too close), risk everything by not are her bridge to the world. She even keeps a reporting Mrs. Trevel to the police straight away? recording of herself as a child, as if the only way Why would such a by-the-book professional go she can engage with herself is to go back to her off for a picnic in a deserted park with an ex- childhood state of mind. he weekend of week six, Francesca Seeley than stable state, another child, Jess, terminates patient whom (it is later revealed) she suspects of The photographic backdrops used worked brought Stephan Poliakoff’s Sweet Panic her sessions and a parent, Mr. Boulton (Stevie being less sane and successful than he makes out. well in the park scenes when large prints of Tto the Drama Barn. The play is a dark Ratcliff), is determined to demonstrate to Clare These issues may render the play somewhat leaves indicated an outdoor setting, but the black piece which follows the relationship between the importance of his work perfecting the meal- moot as Clare’s dilemmas seem far too obvious- and white art prints in Clare’s office, though child therapist Clare Atwood (Panda Cox) and in-a-cup. Clare’s regimented and controlled ly solvable and her reactions don’t always fit beautiful, were a little self-indulgent. Would a the neurotic, obsessive mother of one of her world begins to crumble against a haunting with her characterisation. However, I was child therapist not be more likely to decorate her patients, Mrs. Trevel (Becky Baxter). When London backdrop and Mrs. Trevel reveals her impressed by what the cast and crew did with a walls with something more suited to her clien- Clare goes away for a bank holiday weekend complexity as she imparts to Clare the wisdom difficult script, at times excellent in its attention tele? The prints served only to further confuse with her metro-bus expert boyfriend, Martin “panic is good”. to detail and the truth of its dialogue, but patchy our image of Clare although they were an ingen- (Nick Payne), she refuses to give Mrs. Trevel her The play is slightly disconcerting, like an as a whole. The most striking feature was its all ious way of indicating scene changes. mobile number and thus can’t be contacted when Escher drawing in that you can’t quite identify round high quality acting; the cast was a York A play that, ultimately, did not quite suc- George, Mrs. Trevel’s son, goes missing. Mrs. what it is that gives it such a strange and menac- University all-star offering, with Panda Cox fol- ceed in examining the questions it raised, this Trevel begins stalking Clare, demanding ing tone. It has a disturbingly spooky effect; you lowing up her work in Far Away with another was nonetheless an impressively performed and George’s files; at the same time, a former patient, are constantly waiting for something really terri- memorable and natural performance as Clare thought provoking production which showcased Richard (Alexander Hargreaves), returns in a less ble to happen, for some dark secret to be revealed Atwood. She was matched by Becky Baxter’s the high calibre of our student actors.

Reviewed by Reviewed by Reviewed by Reviewed by The Ninth Life of Rebecca Gower Hope in the Dark Ben Wilcock The Flood Rebecca Hammond Ghosting: A Double Heloise Wood Louis Drax Life £7.99 £7.99 £12.99 £7.99 Liz Jensen Bloomsbury Rebecca Solnit Canongate David Maine Canongate Jennie Erdal Canongate

“I’m not most kids … Stuff happens to me that It was with some degree of trepidation that I In The Flood, David Maine attempts to flesh out Jennie Erdal’s Ghosting is a literary feast which shouldn’t happen, like going on a picnic where picked up Hope in the Dark; another semi- the Bible’s rather brief depiction of Noah’s Ark effectively deconstructs the writing process and you drown.” So begins The Ninth Life of Louis activist, sociological chronicle in the wake of and the forty day flood. He imagines the sheds light on the enigma of ghost writing. Each Drax, Liz Jensen’s compelling tale of lies, 9/11. I was, however, pleasantly surprised. impracticality of gathering two of every beast character is immediately bought to life, particu- obsession, and the hidden workings of the Rebecca Solnit weaves together significant whilst building a huge boat in a dry, sparse land- larly the key player Tiger, the pseudonym Erdal human mind. political events in the period leading up to the scape. Noah’s success is accounted for, some- gives to the man she spent years working for, Louis is a precocious but difficult nine- new millennium in a thought-provoking and what satirically, by convenient coincidences, or writing articles, even novels, under his name. year-old who has always been accident prone – enlightening manner, gradually guiding the rather God’s foresight; one of Noah’s sons is a He is ebullient, absurd and charismatic, a one as he puts it, “Everyone said that one day I was reader to a refreshingly ambiguous climax. ship-builder, his fourteen-year-old daughter-in- man theatre. Erdal reveals how she tried to use going to have a big accident, an accident to end The first chapter begins with a Virginia law manages to solve the logistical problems of semi-colons as frequently as possible because all accidents.” On a picnic to celebrate his ninth Woolf quotation, “the future is dark, which is on stowing the ship’s live cargo. Noah laments the they were his favourite type of punctuation and birthday, that is exactly what happens: by the the whole, the best thing the future can be, I challenge as he attempts to describe his wood the difficulties she encountered when the main end of it, Louis, having fallen from a cliff into a think”. This is to become a recurrent theme requirement to two irreligious giants, “things criteria for ‘his’ novel was the inclusion of ravine, is in a deep coma from which he may throughout the book; the idea that the unknowa- were much clearer when God was explaining”. simultaneous orgasm between female twins. never awaken, and his father has disappeared. bility of future events is indicative of the posi- The novel is fun, easy to read and contains She struggles inwardly as she tries desper- The book centres around the attempts of Pascal tivity of human choice. some undeniably witty passages, but it might be ately to appease him, her considerable intellect Dannachet, Louis’ doctor, to piece together Solnit’s philosophy is that the individual worth casting a glance at Dick King Smith’s suffocated in writing slushy romance novels. exactly what happened on that fateful day: was can make a political difference, and dedicates children’s book Noah’s Brother before giving And indeed, Erdal shows great literary talent, it an accident, or did someone push him? This her work in part to Wes Niskes, a US radio pre- Maine exclusive credit. Certain characterisa- her love of language spilling out of every page. search for the truth is complicated by senter who famously said “if you don’t like the tions disappoint; Noah’s son Japheth is based on She pays frequent homage to philosophers and Dannachet’s growing attachment to Natalie, news, go out and make your own”. She chroni- the assumption that all sixteen-year-old boys writers, untangling their theories on time and Louis’ mother, and by the fact that Louis may cles her personal beliefs on direct action and relate stories exclusively in the present tense creativity, making the most complex statement not be as unable to communicate with the world political movements in a witty and mature way under the delusion of being from Brooklyn, “So accessible. as everyone assumes. which more than makes plausible connections we’re standing on this great rutting monster, Ultimately, Ghosting shows itself to be a Darkly amusing and more than a little dis- between Solnit as a cultural historian and the going nowhere in a hurry”, though Brooklyn is great novel by creating more questions than turbing, it’s a brilliantly woven story that hints likes of Simon Schama and Susan Sontag. Well another few thousand years in the making. answers, making one marvel at the sheer inge- at how badly wrong families can go. worth the read. Entertaining food for thought for a lazy mind. nuity of writing. M20 REVIEWS MUSE 21/06/05 Music Reviews

The composing duties were shared amongst Oasis Reviewed by the band, with Noel contributing five songs, Chris Spillane three by Liam, two from Andy Bell and Gem Archer writing one song. This has resulted in a Don’t Believe the Out Now Truth (Big Brother) different Oasis sound and the outcome is shown Single in accomplished numbers such as The Importance of Being Idle, the Liam penned con- fessional Guess God Thinks I’m Able and gui- Honours tarist Gem’s soul contribution, the ever opti- When asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer mistic A Bell Will Ring. These tunes justify in the world, Paul McCartney replied he wasn’t Oasis’ longevity and if Andy Bell sticks to play- the best drummer in The Beatles let alone the ing bass and not composing, Oasis should be world. Bad drumming must be hereditary as around for a long time to come. Don’t Believe the Ringo’s son, Zak Starkey demonstrates on Don‘t Truth marks the maturing songwriting of the Believe The Truth. Nevertheless, his effortless younger Gallagher brother, with Liam’s contri- approach to music brings a new dynamic to the butions showing great improvement from Little group and encourages a more relaxed, understat- James. In comparison with Gallagher senior’s It was with a sense of sadness and, erm, possibly ed Oasis. songs, Liam’s songs lack the inconsistency of relief that we assembled in Langwith coffee bar Turn Up The Sun is the driving album open- Noel’s, yet he can still write anthemic flag for the last time this year. Well, in truth we shall er that was to be expected, followed by the one wavers like the impressive Let There Be Love. probably return before the term is out, but it was chord affair that is Mucky Fingers flavoured with Don’t Believe The Truth lacks the edge of the last time we came together in order to pass a a Harmonica solo that sounds like a derailing Definitely Maybe, the god awfulness of Standing harsh judgement on the efforts of the musical train. The album closes with Let There Be Love on the Shoulder of Giants and is far, far removed community. Which is a poncy way of saying that which features a Gallagher duet. With the from the rock n’ roll swindle that is Be Here Now. most of the singles were shite. Plain shite. nineties over Lyla is the closest Oasis get to their The truth being that by abandoning their rock n’ original sound, a song which Noel Gallagher has roll swagger for pensive acoustic music, their described as their poppiest single since Roll With sixth record is their most thoughtful and mellow Mercedes - Daydream It from (What’s the Story) Morning Glory. release to date.

An intriguing offering from a young lady who clearly can’t decide whether to be a little bit country or a little bit rock ‘n’ roll and isn’t really either. Lyrics of increasing sexual suggestiveness are ruined by the vocal, which sounds like pro- longed vomiting played back on a reel-to-reel at reduced speed, and the guitars are migraine inducing. Jen was a little more generous, describ- ing it overall as “not bad to sleep to”.

Do Me Bad Things - Move in Stereo

A fresh, quirky little tune from the purveyors of glamourous indie rock and roll. It’s only a mat- ter of time before the Toffs’ indie boy collective are seen doing their special headrolling dance to this. Jen thought it lacked the catchy quality of some of their earlier single releases, “but you can’t hate a sing with a guitar solo that poppy”. Rob Thomas Reviewed by The Coral Reviewed by The Levellers Reviewed by She went on to add that they were probably “the Laurence Jenny Lee Laurence meatloaf of glam rock”. Quite. Something to Newman The Invisible Truth and Lies Newman Be Invasion Out Now Out Now (Delta Sonic) Out Now Little Barrie - Long Hair (Atlantic) (Eagle) This is so stripped down it could be arrested on an obscenity charge. For a gorgeous moment it sounds like Der Stuhl era White Stripes - is that bluegrass I hear? - then the chorus kicks in and it Blandness is never a good thing in a pop record, Back with their fourth album in three years, Brighton based folk-rock-punk group The gets a little dull. Still, there are definite Gomez especially from an album that promised so much, Scouse scamps The Coral have never really been Levellers have a sound and cult following that is echoes and they pick up coolness points for but tragically delivers so little. Something To Be, away since they released their self-titled debut, the stuff of legend. In 1994 the band headlined being called Barrie. the new album from Matchbox 20 singer Rob and the result seems to be that their sound hasn’t Glastonbury to the biggest main stage crowd in Thomas, is possibly the most disappointing moved on much since then. The Invisible the festivals history, and with their new album The Raveonettes - Ode to LA release to pass through the nouse office this year, Invasion is pretty much more of the same psy- they stick to their musical roots which gave us especially since his last release, the collaboration chedelic jangly pop, but this time it sounds the 90s crusty classics Beautiful Day and Far This is the tune that made all our hard work this Smooth with Carlos Santana, was such a big hit watered down and frankly it isn’t a patch on past From Home. week worth it, the Raveonettes have, in Jen’s in the UK. efforts. Truth and Lies captures the infectious live words, “become the chilled, melodic band they Unfortunately, with his latest album it Much has been made in the music press of energy of the band in the opening track Last Man want to be”. She thought the festive bells seems like Thomas is pandering to the kind of the presence of former Portishead knob-twid- Alive which is almost a throwback to the reduced the driving- around-to-it-in-a-convert- sanitised over-produced Latin pop niche that dlers Geoff Barrow and Adrian Utley on produc- anthemic sound of One Way and Make You ible potential, but this saccharine bitter master- Ricky Martin had such phenomenal success with tion duties, but they don’t seem to have made any Happy. As the first single to be released, it shows piece about smog and heartbreak is our Single of in the late 1990s. Not that this would be a prob- significant contribution to the sound. Instead, the that the band can still make a great pop song. For the Week. lem, if he had not made a career out of releasing band have crafted twelve pleasant pop songs that Us All sees the band at their most folky with records like Mad Season which make Something may fit in well on the radio playlists but don’t some sublime fiddle playing and a kazoo solo. Nelly - N Dey Say To Be sound uninspired and distinctly average. offer the originality and exhilaration of previous Truth and Lies is an album that was born to Lonely No More, the first single to be efforts. be heard live and loud, and when The Levellers This single deserves a mention purely because it released, sounds like a cast off from Enrique If an album could be damned by faint played a recent gig in Leeds the songs made the samples the Spandau Ballet 80s classic True, and Inglasias with Spanish influences that should be praise, this would be it. The Invisible Invasion is transition from studio to stage effortlessly and seamlessly makes it into an R’n’B track (and left to Jennifer Lopez, and after four weeks it is simply ‘quite good.’ At less than forty minutes with the conviction of a band that has been on the that’s something I think none of us would have languishing at number twenty-four in the charts long, it’s brief and most memorable song is lead road for the last fifteen years and made more ever expected!) However, Martin Kemp won’t The only saving grace on this record is single In The Morning which has quite rightly albums than you could shake a fiddle at. have to worry about his pop crown being taken Problem Girl, a song which is so much better been all over the radio in recent weeks. On this, Although the first few tracks give Truth and by this ‘gangster rapper’ because, quite frankly, than any of the others that it seems almost James Skelly actually sounds like he can sing. Lies a phenomenal opening, the mixing leaves Spandau Ballet did it best. strange to hear it amongst this bad bunch, Meanwhile Arabian Sand sounds like the Zutons, something to be desired. By the end of the album although the fact that Problem Girl sounds like a and So Long Ago reminded me of Belle and you get the feeling that the band have used the Matchbox 20 song may have more than a little to Sebastian. There is nothing wrong with anything best songs first and the record seems to lose its Written by Jenni Marsh and Daisy Steinway do with this. here, it just doesn’t do anything new. sense of energy from then on. MUSE 21/06/05 REVIEWS M21 Film Reviews

Sin City The acting isn’t bad either; a large and eclectic cast of nobodies, much-maligned jour- ney-men and Bruce Willis add flesh to the styl- Director: Robert Rodriguez ish bones. Mickey Rourke is a revelation as the With: Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke sweet yet sadistic freak Marv. Actors like Runtime: 124 min Benicio Del Toro, Rosario Dawson and Clive Owen work wonders with a clichéd script, mak- ing the strangely similar characters seem believ- Reviewed by Rob Perkins able and important. Its not easy to make an audi- ence care about two dimensional characters Quentin Tarantino was recently voted one of the whose contrasting moral codes are as black and- most influential directors of all time, and white as the colour scheme of the film itself. although he only ‘guest-directed’ one scene of Don’t get me wrong, it won’t win awards, but Frank Miller’s Sin City his influence is prevalent then Sin City isn’t that kind of film: it’s an edgy throughout. Sin City is a film very much in the and increasingly notorious cult classic rather Tarantino mould: a cool but brutal, modern clas- than an Oscar-polishing Hollywood love-fest. sic. Its no over-statement to call it the first true The ultimate effect is a triumph of style over successor to the glorious bravado and swagger of substance, undoubtedly the film’s greatest asset Pulp Fiction. The structure is even reminiscent as (other than the scintillating Jessica Alba, this director Robert Rodriguez weaves together three summer’s biggest new star). separate and personal stories of passion, revenge There are those who will criticise Sin City’s and mind boggling violence against the bleak lack of morality, its sexist outlook and its horrif- canvas of a sprawling metropolis filled with ic violence (when you have to use a plural to amoral low-lifes, vicious power struggles and yet describe castrations you know you’ve stepped more violence! It is simultaneously a faithful and over the line) but these critics miss out on the detailed adaptation of Frank Miller’s graphic film’s vital point. It is an adaptation of the high- novels and a wonderfully original, rule- breaking, est fidelity, both a tribute and parody of 1940s genre-defying movie. ‘film-noir’, simultaneously mimicking and repli- The most remarkable and breath-taking cating the classic crime movies now deemed aspect of Miller’s stunning creation is the use of either too dull or pretentious for modern con- colour. The film is shot entirely in black and sumption. These criticisms cannot be levelled at white; the rare splashes of colour are used as a the awesome adrenalin rush that is Sin City. It is weapon for dramatic and artistic impact. It works the boldest, coolest and most exciting film I’ve superbly, adding a captivating and shocking edge seen in a long while, and a far cry from the turgid to the atmosphere of sinister tension and simmer- comic-book rubbish which currently congests ing passions. It’s especially effective in moments the cinema screens. If you like crime films, cool of extreme gore and savagery; the violence made films, Tarantino-esque films, or films at all, then more cartoon-like. It stops it from becoming gra- see Sin City. See it, see it now, and if you can tuitous, merely omnipresent. afford it at this late stage of the year, see it again.

audience are aware of what happens before the Batman Begins characters in the film. For fans only familiar with Mr. and Mrs. Smith basis of what is tearing their marriage apart but the Batman films, this is not the case with everything changes when they both get assigned Director: Christopher Nolan Batman Begins. After the opening flashback Director: Doug Liman - somewhat predictibly you might argue - each With: Christian Bale, Katie Holmes from his childhood, we see our protagonist in the With: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie other as their next targets. middle of a Mongolian prison, not something What follows is an excellent example of Runtime: 141 min normally associated with millionaire playboy Runtime: 120 min how a big dumb movie should be done. It follows Bruce Wayne. The first third of the film charts the ever-reliable template of guns, explosions Reviewed by his journey from grief stricken child to angst rid- Reviewed by and car chases and it does it very well. The guns Lewis Charlesworth Tom King den adult intent on bringing real justice to are huge, the explosions would make Jerry Gotham. ‘Bang’ Bruckheimer jump and the chase scene But hold on guys, this is Christopher Nolan, nearly equals Liman’s Mini chase from The things don’t run so predictably as that. The adult Bourne Identity. And yet it also has hidden and child storylines run parallel to each other, depths. Liman proved his action calibre with The with little Bruce’s story interupting the present Bourne Identity but his roots lie in slick and iron- action to give weight to the emotional and dra- ic indie comedies such as Swingers and Go and matic aspect of the film. Here we also see the he brings this sensibility to Mr. and Mrs. Smith as director of Memento effectively playing with the bickering banter between the leads fairly siz- narrative to place us in the perspective of one of zles with darkly barbed quips. the central characters Ducard, as we simultane- Speaking of the leads, how are they? Well ously learn more about Bruce’s fear. they ain’t bad to look at for a start and their sex- In the midst of shallow, generic comic ual chemistry (while unsurprising in the wake of book capers (Underworld, X-Men, Blade) Pitt’s divorce from Jennifer Aniston) is electric. Batman Begins gives us a complex protagonist, Pitt, as usual, plays it cool-but-goofy with a win- who is as much an empathetic human as a hero. ning smile but it is Jolie who really comes out- This is why it is so refreshing. Nolan manages to smelling of roses. One gets the feeling that the effectively reveal the mechanics behind Tomb Raider films were just training for this as Batman’s powers while also changing the per- she gets to play a proper kick-ass heroine with spective, when needed, to create an element of quips to match. surprise for us and his foe’s in the action Obviously it’s not perfect, there are several sequences. moments that feel slightly uncomfortable, not With Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan accept- Although the cast were generally very It looks like the domestic scene so typical of least the moment where John gives Jane a sur- ed the difficult task of breathing new life into a good, there were some interesting cast choices. modern relationship films. A couple who seem to prisingly savage kicking (thankfully off-screen). franchise that was seriously on the ‘Wayne’. Tom Wilkinson, for example, seemed miscast as have it all, looks, money and style, sitting across While this is not blatantly shown, the implied (Sorry, couldn’t resist). The Batman films gener- mob boss, Falconi. The way he played the role the dinner table from each other and quite delib- violence feels a little extreme despite the 15 cer- ated a new wave of comic book adaptations in seemed more ‘Bugsy Malone’ than Al Capone, erately not saying anything. However, there’s a tificate. Also, while Pitt and Jolie have a consid- the 90s that began as a successful stylistic/gothic which is strange because little kid, he ain’t. Katie twist… Most failing marriages aren’t accompa- erable amount of chemistry and screen presence, crime caper and ended as a camp, star studded Holmes was out of place as a ‘lawyer’, but Nolan nied by an oven full of hi-tech weaponry or a they seem to struggle somewhat with some of flop. With this installment Nolan ignores the has to make some concessions to appease those toolshed full of grenades. the comedy, meaning that some potentially styles of the previous films and in some cases movie dates looking for a pretty couple on the Mr. and Mrs. Smith follows John and Jane excellent lines are lost. most contemporary comic book adaptations to screen to emulate. Smith, married for half a decade but now suffer- Mr. and Mrs. Smith is unashamed action- re-imagine an old icon. The odd cast decisions were insignificant ing ‘marriage fatigue’ and a loss of passion. But movie fun and, lets be honest, with two such The new Star Wars films revealed that however, compared to the achievement of a under the well-mannered veneer of suburban sits obscenely attractive leads, deep philosophy was a prequel could give a concrete back-story to the British director and a mainly British cast who an explosive secret – they’re both top assassins never going to be the most important aspect. original film, allowing for many sly asides as the rejuvenated a very American franchise. working for rival agencies. This secret is the Disengage you brain, sit back, and enjoy. M22 REVIEWS MUSE 21/06/05 Food and Drink Reviews

sonable at only £2.30. The drinks come in very trendy take-out The Juice Reviewed by Place cups - you can rival Star Bucks any day, safe in Vicky Hallam The Shambles the knowing you are slurping healthy goodness. Whilst there I was persuaded into trying a shot of wheat grass, I knocked it back as if it were a shot of Sambuca, however I’m sure the Wheat grass is Th far more beneficial for my general well being, as Are you sick of Pizzas and greasy Takeaways? it contains the equivalent of 1kg of fruit and veg- Probably not! But if you are like me, and some- etables. how strangely crave fruit and vegetables, the The benefits of wheat grass are endless, it Juice Place can provide an easy option to your boosts the immune system, helps repair sports healthy eating conundrums. This juice emporium injuries and if you, along with most students, feel is hidden away in the Shambles, it offers over queasy at the very sight of sprouts and broccoli, forty delicious Juices and Smoothies, from this is a great way of avoiding actually having to immune boosters to hangover cures and is perfect eat something ‘good for you’, for just £1.95. for those in need of post-exam invigoration. The Juice Place doesn’t just sell drinks; they Please don’t be afraid to try the strange also have home made jams, salads, quiches and a Which wine? blends of Juices and Smoothies on offer, wide selection of fair trade products on offer. although I have to say the prospects of apple and You may be thinking this all sounds terribly Recently the wine market has become flooded spinach, and even beetroot, pear and cucumber new age, but I really can’t stress enough the ben- with bottles and bottles of cheap generic plonk, can be quite daunting! But if that’s just too much efits of these healthy innovations. Not only do which the less refined palates of students will fruit to handle in one day, you should try a stu- they take the effort out of getting your recom- guzzle with gusto: a little like blackcurrant or dent favourite; the smoothie. They contain no mended daily intake of fruit and vegetables, but pineapple cordial at 14% proof. Wine is becom- additives, and come in delicious combinations they give you a natural high without the killer ing the drink of all peoples, yet I mourn the such as raspberry, banana, apple and yogurt. All hangover! The Juice Place are also considering death of realised appreciation of this most noble drinks come in 3 sizes and the regular is very rea- offering students a ten per cent discount... and ancient of liquids. The Italian Job, £3.99, 3 for £9.99, Costcutter Kapadokja Reviewed by Cross Keys Reviewed by Butterfingers Reviewed by Raul Sellez Flora Bradwell This is an obvious ‘student wine’, although rela- George Hudson St. Tom Crockett Goodramgate Hull Road tively low in alcohol at 11.5% this wine has a heady and full character and is typically earthy, as are many Italian reds. The wine has deep pur- ple colour and is clearly very young and, I should say, be drank young too. I didn't rate this wine, the heavy body was not adequately tempered by fruit. I would imagine this wine is made from poor quality and randomly mixed grapes (mainly nebbiolo?), as the overall impression I got was a coarse and unrefined wine, which really needs red meat to balance it. I think it would be better slightly warmer than I tasted it and would be more than adequate for those summer barbecues. Jacob's Creek, Chardonnay 2004, £5.99, Costcutters Hasn't the sun set on the reign of the chardon- nay? Certainly its not as universally popular with aspiring sophisticates and women wishing to reform their Essex-girl reputations by not drinking pints of lager. What we have seen with chardonnay is a complete reinvention. A move has been thankfully made away from over- oaked, over-ripe, hot and fat-tasting wines. I have often staggered past the garish yellow “What the f***?!” Whilst I’m no prude, the use Picture the scene, you wake up in an unfamiliar Jacob's Creek is a case in point. The characteris- exterior of Kapadokya on my way to Toffs and of profanity in public isn’t normally my thing. house, with drool on your face and the distinct tic tropical fruit is acceptably balanced by wondered what the food was like. The menu was But if you’ve ever ventured into the Cross Key’s impression that you may not have been the most enough vanilla-scented American oak, to make it certainly more lamb-based than I expected. The on a Monday night – I defy anyone not to mutter eloquent individual the night before. The only an enjoyable, if a little predictable, drink on a lamb here is served in every possible form, from the same three words. From the outset the Cross place any self respecting student (or indeed any- warm summers afternoon. I should say this wine steaks, kebabs, köftes, dumplings, and the superb Keys seems a good bet, a semi-historic venue, a one who feels they may have lost all self respect ought to be chilled, but not as low as I see many lamb shank which we made short work of. stones throw away from the Minster but looks they had the night before) is Butterfingers. people (and restaurants) chilling wines; to about Service was friendly and swift, our waiter can be deceiving. Upon approaching the venue at Perfectly placed between campus and town seven or eight degrees would be perfect. revelled in the fact that he was able to speak in around two minutes past seven (funny how you there is no excuse not to stagger to Hull Road and his native tongue with our friend and warmly rec- remember the little things when you feel you’re saturate yourself with a huge sandwich. The joy Les Meslieres, AC Touraine, ommended the Turkish Efes beer. Everything going to die) “Surely”, I thought “Nothing can of being able to purchase the entirety of a fry-up 2003, £6.59, Majestic possible was done to accommodate us, which possibly be that bad”. Boy was I wrong. between two baps for under three quid can only was really nice to see in a world of sniffy waiters The layout of the pub – if you can get past be rivalled by the elation felt when you realise This is a wine I bought during my last trip to and insolent service. The food was frightfully the broken glass and overflowing ashtrays – isn’t you are biting into a delicacy that is aptly named France, and have subsequently found it available good. I started with humus, which was rather dry too bad. A large horse-shoe shaped bar dominates ‘the big boy’. With sausages, eggs, bacon, mush- at Majestic. Following a trend in lesser-known for my taste but otherwise excellent. Other (and divides) the bulk of the peculiar shaped rooms and tomatoes, this beast of a breakfast ful- French appellations, it is of a single grape vari- starters were also of a high standard and I recom- room. I witnessed two groups of males at either fils all your nutritional requirements and is per- ety - in this case, gamay. The gamay grape is not mend the vegetarian options. The mains were side of the bar, glaring at each other over dirty fectly succulent to boot. For the vegetarian there known really for anything other than Beaujolais. very filling to the extent that light eaters should pint glasses. Monday, as it turned out, was £1.50 is a wide range, my favourite being ‘the vegetar- This wine is described as a ‘vin de soif’ and I think about having two starters. Despite there a pint night. There are various other offers. A sin- ian full house’ which comes with cheese, egg, cannot think of a better description. It is beauti- being a selection of every form of lamb, there are gle vodka coke is a measly £1.50, as would a bot- tomatoes, mushrooms and beans, with additional fully smooth and light and is full of sweet red other dishes and vegetarians are not forgotten. tle of Carlsberg. But at what price? The so-called onion if you so desire it. Unlike the offerings of fruit without being sickly or unpalatable. This is Perhaps it is my Turkish friend Selen's football thugs were whooping with delight when other York eateries, none of the ingredients seem a wine I regularly drink and is best drank very views which are of more consequence than mine. a woman closely resembling Dorian from Birds to have been stewing for days in grease, howev- slightly chilled, and is a complex rarity to enjoy, She felt the food was very traditional and cooked of a Feather staggered inside! So, if you don’t er the calorific nature of these delights can not be especially in the summer. This is also a good in an authentic way. Speaking personally I will want to end up like Burt Reynolds in that movie denied. The high quality grease fest that wine for those who do not regularly drink red. definitely return to Kapadokya, which is praise Deliverance or spend an hour talking to some Butterfingers has to offer at a relatively low price enough; specially as I find it hard to say a bad senile old guy about his rheumatism; avoid the coupled with service with a smile makes this one Written by Tom Crockett word for this restaurant, which may surprise you! Cross Keys. The risks far outweigh the rewards. of the best sandwich shops in York. MUSE 21/06/05 LAST WORD M23

No 05, Management Studies The last word Blag your If you like your light-hearted comment thrust violently into your digestive system, you’ve come to the right place, says David Cole degree

your own home. The S.E.X. Issue “Call now for hot sex talk! Tonnes of sex- starved YUSU Committee sluts gagging to take the full length of your call! We go all the way! H C Call now to find out what exactly goes on back- stage at the UGM, behind closed doors. We’ll A give you an officer’s report you’ll never forget - O you’re bound to cum back for more! Just call L now on extension number 6969.” T Calls charged at only £5 per minute, five L pence of every call guaranteed to go to the S minibus fund. Calls may be monitored or, indeed, N minuted by Jolene for unnecessary and overly Mmmmng... talking complete bollocks, you are E O bureaucratic purposes. Gimme some Sugar: mmm... just look at X Shove it that authentic management facial lustre W Wakey, wakey! Rise and shine ya bastards. Pick up the phone now and you’ll be hooked I’ve got a bad “O Death, where is thy sting” - 1 Corinthians Once again it’s up to me to sort out the putrid up with busty babes like this gem in minutes! 15:55. mess you’ve made of your lives. You know, “It’s been emotional” - Lock, Stock and Two you should really start putting some effort in, Hello, good afternoon, and welcome to this, the feeling about Smoking Barrels. I won’t be here to wipe your nose forever. special, extended edition of nouse (est. 1964, Never, in my life, would I have expected to I’ve got beef with some serious idlers this ‘Best font’- Guardian Student Media Awards, this... find that Jesus Christ and Vinnie Jones could issue; Management students, here it is, crazy 2004), with 25% more text!!! As we all know, convey the exact same sentiment in such erudite, fools. students invariably are a bunch of dirty little Right now, in a galaxy far, far away (Goodricke inherently similar vocalisations. Even less likely, It is the U-bend into which flows the tramps, and you lot at York are no exception. I’ll Delta Prime Spunk, to be precise), the fate of our would I have expected their parallels to be so annual, excremental discharge from all other wager the majority of you can be found at the media societies is being decided. perfectly representative of my present situation. academic departments. Are you a complete biweekly ‘dogging’ marathons in James’ College The evil Galactic Union, led by the power- Nevertheless, they certainly are. and utter failure? Have your parents threat- car park, if not taking part with the SU exec then ful Darth Alexander, has joined forces with the To word this feeling in my own, ened to divorce you? Never fear, Management heckling from the sidelines, salivating like an Impaired Vision Federation (‘Biggest breasts’ - sesquipedalian way, I guess I just have to say, is here! This course spawns the next genera- Alsatian. Guardian Student Media Awards, 2004) with the “You can stick your light-hearted comment sec- tion of embittered, misanthropic lechers I bet some of you are a tad fed up and disil- common purpose of eliminating all logic and har- tion up your arse. I quit.” Forever yours, this is required for ‘important’ positions in manag- lusioned with pursuing this perversion. Do you nessing the Media Rebellion under its tyrannical me, signing off, with love, arriverderci, sayonara, ing ‘companies.’ Examples of companies are feel dirty? Defiled? Deviant? Well now you don’t regime. bon appetit, break a leg. I recommend blagging shops. Despite not being capable of hanging have to worry about what other people think, We must stop them before any more articles Women’s Studies in the next issue. That’ll get on to a decent degree, you now have the YUSU are here to ensure that you can live out are written about ducks! For more information their bra-burning, hairy-armpitted boy-featured chance to redeem yourself at a microscopic your subversive fantasies from the cum-fort of contact [email protected]. knickers in a twist. level. So take note, the dog may have eaten your Chemistry degree, but this one is lami- nated, so that won’t happen again. If you cock up Management, you’re a royal genetically transmitted disorder. Let’s do this thang: 1. Okay, so you’ve escaped shit creek for now. You buggered up your Philosophy degree, but you’ve been given a second chance. Don’t think you can relax yet though, or there may be a bowel eruption of volcanic proportions. If you fail again, you won’t get another chance here. You may even have to go to a former polytechnic (cringe) if you want to try again. 2. Obviously you can see that it’s important for you to pull your fecking finger out this time. To this end, here comes the choice snip- pets of advice, straight from the horse’s arse. For starters, it’s imperative that you have some sort of mild personality disorder to get ahead in this subject, preferably sociopathy. Practice your firebrand aggressive tendencies by spontaneously and literally throwing the book at your housemates. Your 10kg manage- ment textbook will work best. 3. Once you’ve mastered this art, and/or been evicted by your friends, you must try and find happiness. Buy a pack of cigars called Hamlet, a big leather swivel chair, and get puffing! Try to accompany this with sporadic outbursts of, “Get out of my office, see?” or, “I built this company from a nickel and a rusty shoe, see?” 4. Photocopy your arse. Repeat Ad nauseam. 5. Employers view work experience as extremely attractive in Management appli- cants. Try to get this in as early as possible, i.e. now! One simple way of doing this would be to become an amateur pervert. Experience as a sex pest is the first step towards profes- sional sexual harassment. Go team! M20 LISTINGS MUSE 21/06/05

Clockwise from top left: Willy Wonka ‘hmm, its strawberry!’ ; Ballet Boyz get balletic in a manly way; Woodstock 2004 - looks promising for this year; Madagascar - after years of cabin fever, freedom didn’t look so great either!

Live Music Campus Events

Saturday 25th June Friday 1st July Friday 24th-Saturday 25th June Tues 12th July The Bluetones, Fibbers Once in a Lifetime, Hallam Fm Arena, Woodstock, Vanbrugh Bowl Gradball, York Racecourse Gradball perennials and a Fibbers’ favourite, Sheffield Glastonbury tickets sold out in three hours, so for This year’s extravaganza boasts Liberty X, The Bluetones are known for the psychedelic David Cassidy, David Essex, The Osmonds and all of you disappointed and ticketless, York RAG Edith Bowman, a drinks reception, a three- twist to their guitar pop. If you are not familiar The Bay City Rollers... Let’s hope the title is a presents Woodstock; two days’ worth of the best course meal, a fairground, a fire cave and an with their music, expect something between promise, because once is definitely more than campus bands, DJs, theatre and more. Forget ice-rink. They are even promising snow in July! Oasis and The Stone Roses. enough in my lifetime, thank you very much! (If those exams, pack a picnic, and see out the year Wednesday 22nd June Thursday 30th June you are a fan, tickets are still available- I wonder in style. Woodstock is free but RAG relies on Twilight, Halifax Ball, Museum Gardens Funeral For a Friend, Leeds University why...) your donations so bring your spare change. Includes a barbecue and drinks reception. Whether you love them or hate them, it has Tuesday 5th July Thursday 30th June Thursday 30th June been a great year for Funeral For A Friend; Finch, Leeds Metropolitan Big D, Derwent and Langwith James Summer Ball, York Racecourse their headline set at London’s ‘Ally Pally’ last The Californian emo-rockers are playing eight This is a 1,200 capacity all-day charity event Includes a drinks reception, a four-course meal, weekend was broadcast live on BBC Radio UK gigs before their massive US tour this sum- which is rumoured to have five rooms of music, a DJ and a live samba band. One. They are set to play at Reading and Leeds mer. Say Hello to Sunshine is their heaviest and BBC Radio One’s very own DJ Spoony, a beer Tuesday 28th June Festivals and their album, Hours, is released most ambitious album yet, but it retains their tent, a bouncy castle and a bucking bronco. Languith Summer Ball, Ask on 13th July. characteristic pop element. Come along and help reach the £5000 target. Live jazz and Pimms reception Theatre and Performance Movies

Tuesday 21st and Wednesday 22nd June life but gets more than he bargained for when a Batman Begins (12a) Madagascar (PG) Unseen Woman, University P/X/001 stranger is knifed in his flat and he gets framed Finally, after the disaster that was Batman and This one’s for you, finalists! A zebra, a lion, a Three interwoven plays by British Asian writ- for the murder! (Anyone spot the not-so-hidden Robin, a good sequel. What’s more, fans can rest hippo and a giraffe are persuaded by four pen- ers on social issues, such as arranged marriage moral?) assured that Batman’s costume no longer has nip- guins to escape from their zoo in Central Park and fundamentalism. Proceeds to The Anah Friday 8th- Saturday 23rd July ples. This is very important, apparently! and rediscover their wild side. After years of Project; a women’s refuge in Bradford. Abigail’s Party, York Theatre Royal. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (tba) containment though, the world seems like a big, (Tickets £4 Your:Shop) Mike Leigh’s classic; a 1970s party brings Johnny Depp and an entire chocolate factory! scary place. It’s not Finding Nemo, but it’s Wednesday 26th June- Saturday 2nd July unhappy couples into “a circle of hatred” at the Surely this is every girl’s dream? What twists worth watching just to hear Ali G as a lemur. The Fence, York Theatre Royal. mercy of an over-bearing hostess. (The Good will Burton add to the original, and will the The Island (tba) “Britain’s greatest living playwright”. Howard Life meets The Weakest Link?) Oompa Loompas scare yet another generation? Lincoln Six-Echo (Ewan McGregor) and Barker portrays the identity struggle of a blind Tuesday 12th- Wednesday 13th July War of the Worlds (tba) Jordan Two-Delta (Scarlett Johansson) long to boy living in the Gaza strip who becomes an Ballet Boyz, Grand Opera House, York. Another disaster movie (yawn). This time Earth leave their contained environment and reach illegal immigrant. As seen on TV; grown-up Billy Elliots on tour is being destroyed by alien forces. You are in for ‘the island’, the last unspoilt place on Earth. Friday 17th June- Saturday 2nd July to prove to ‘da youf’ that there’s more to ballet the usual emotional manipulation as couples are However, they soon realise the more sinister The 39 Steps, West Yorks. Playhouse, Leeds than the tights. Let’s hope that their cinematic separated and Cruise tries to protect his young reality; that they are clones and that ‘the island’ A London ‘suit’ wishes for more excitement in backdrop is more tasteful than their spelling. family at all costs. Spielberg directs. is where their body parts will be harvested.

SPONSORED BY SNAPPY SNAPS Sponsored by NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 10 Student Comment Snappy Snaps 21st June 2005

Local MP, John Grogan, has his first ever PMB Comment Supporters are vital to our sport

Contrary to the popular adage, who has just taken over sport and politics have always Manchester United could not mixed. Just reflect back on the treat fans with contempt. At the sports boycott of South Africa very least he or his representa- in the 1980s which helped to tives would have to discuss isolate the apartheid regime. their plans for with recognised Alternatively, look forward to supporter representatives at the Beijing Olympics in 2008 regular intervals. Information is and there can be little doubt power and the fact that it would that politics will play a role. have to be shared could act as a The open question is whether powerful disincentive to the the fact that the attention of the more irresponsible owner. world will be focused on China In parallel I will be tabling will provide a window of a Commons motion calling on opportunity for democratic the Government to extend the voices or rather the chance to list of sporting events (which assert Chinese nationalism and currently include the Olympics power. and the football World Cup) I myself will be seeking which must be offered at a fair this week to raise two sporting price to terrestrial free to air tel- issues in Parliament. For the evision. first time in my eight years in “A” list events must be the House of Commons I have shown live and “B” list events been lucky in the Private at least in highlights form. SKY Members Bill ballot. Although have refused to sell highlights I am told by the Senior of the British Lions test match- Committee Clerk that at num- es against New Zealand to the ber 19 in the draw my Bill will BBC, depriving many keen probably never even be debat- rugby union fans of a chance to ed, at least I have the opportu- see their team play. Similarly nity to publicise a cause. My this summer’s cricket test Bill which I must present to the matches will be the last to be House this week is entitled the shown on Channel 4 before Professional Football Clubs SKY’s exclusive deal with the (Supporter Involvement) Bill. England and Wales Cricket The aim would simply be to Board takes effect from next compel each of the 92 Premier summer. League and Football League Why does any of this mat- clubs to produce a plan which ter? It is simply because our involves its supporters playing football clubs and our great a part in decision making. sporting events belong in some Some clubs like York City way to us all and should be are already run by Supporter enjoyed by all, rich and poor Trusts and would obviously alike, not least so that future have no difficulty in passing generations are inspired to take such a test. Although my Bill up sport. would not seek to restrict own- The more exclusive these ership of football clubs it football clubs and events would mean that a figure like become, the more diminished Illustration by Chris Hallam the American Malcolm Glazer they are.

Toffs or Ziggys. away with it. But that is not that might not happen. However, it seems that the what I want and that is not why However I am sure there are SU is doomed. Students don’t I stood for President. things I am able to do and, like to be told what they need, Obviously I will continue the therefore, if you ask, I can President Elect, Micky Armstrong, nor how to live their lives. Any good work of my predecessors promise I will try. action the SU takes seems to be in the (seemingly) never ending My point is not to have a tells us his plans for the year ahead doing this. If students don’t tell issues of a central venue and go at people for not voting, or us what’s wrong or what they student welfare etc. but I would to tell you to stop hating me or and asks what we want from the SU want how are we meant to love to know what else you the SU, it’s your right to have know. would like from the SU. an opinion. I don’t want to To go back to my election I can’t promise much, I sound preachy or arrogant and campaign; I ran on the basis would love to have a union bar if you think what I am writing If you can’t be bothered to read university career. This does not was. that the SU was meant to work that sells a pound a pint, for is crap then turn the page. this don’t bother to condemn it! shock me. Throughout cam- I see the SU and, particu- for the student body, not the every room to be en suite and My point is simply this, if My first column for a student paigning I was amazed that larly my job, as serving the student body working for the for everybody to get a first you don’t tell me what’s wrong newspaper; I do not want to many people didn’t know what needs and interests of all stu- SU. Therefore this year I aim without attending a lecture, but I can’t fix it, if you don’t tell seem patronising, dictatorial, the SU was, never mind what it dents throughout the to ask more of what the stu- me what you want I can’t give bombastic or idiotic… so bear was meant to be doing. University of York; be it from dents want. This can’t fall on This year I aim to it to you. The SU is easily con- with me. Therefore perhaps it wasn’t ensuring that the development deaf ears, I need an answer. tactable and I’ll try my best to I start my term in office student apathy that led to only of Heslington East has our It may seem great if make more of what make it more so, so its now having been elected in the most about ten per cent of people interests at heart, to the welfare nobody speaks out - I just do the students want down to you. What do you poorly attended elections of my voting. Then again, perhaps it of people walking back from whatever I want and try and get want? What’s the beef? NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 21st June 2005 Snappy Snaps Student Comment 11 and Analysis

Taking the society activities out of a college obscures the whole point of a college, says Daniel Fairbrother The newly drawn lines of Vanbrugh are shaky

Hopefully, many will have was refitted want to carry on protest would not have a case. splurges of disorganised mess heard of the protest over the using it. That does not sound However, as far as I can in the middle of an otherwise ousting of societies from particularly radical to me. see, the alternatives are not effective décor? I refer, if it is Decadence is on the rise, Vanbrugh dining hall. Reclaim Surely a campaign like that practical. Langwith hall’s clo- not obvious, to the two paint- Vanbrugh is a message that I would simply need a ‘please’ sure next term will squeeze ings hung on the walls of the Matthew Platts have seen on posters and to a reasonable person in everyone into Goodricke. Can Vanbrugh dining hall. This aes- says chalked across paving slabs charge, as opposed to an organ- Goodricke cope? Apparently, thetic (and perhaps personal) along the University walk- ised public/student awareness even now it is impossible to complaint may be irrelevant to ways. The message is not campaign? However, a quiet book space there because of the the Vanbrugh campaign. Killing rabbits is immediately apparent for those and rational ‘please’ would committed Pole Dancing Soc However, the confusion is not in the know. Seeing one only work given one important using it with great frequency. analogous to the confusion of example near the library, I assumption, that the people in Maybe I misunderstand, but I kicking societies out – the thought that perhaps the charge are reasonable. In terms cannot see Yoga Soc sharing whole point of Mondrian is his not good taste Vanbrugh JCR were trying to of results, it seems that that with Pole Dancing Soc. The straight lines and bold colours, extend the boundaries of would be far too presumptu- serious point here is that they and the whole point of a col- No doubt, dear reader, from butchers to prepare the meat, Vanbrugh College, perhaps ous. really should not have to. lege is the combination of the time to time you will have fol- we do not eat the meat raw, we with a view to a full campus Am I too quick to point It is certainly true that the social, functional and academ- lowed that traditional route of do not eat the meat with blood. take-over! But no. the finger? The simple reloca- refit of Vanbrugh has made it a ic activities that take place students; up Clifford Street, In short, we may eat meat, That, given about ten sec- tion of societies from one large nicer place to be (it is a lot within it. Not only do admin past the tower, and into the but we have the good taste not onds of thought, seemed quite hall to another surely cannot be cleaner and feels less like a demonstrate a clear lack of Gallery. Now, here is a pop quiz to like the fact that it’s meat. implausible – the JCR have considered unreasonable? rugby clubhouse) although I appreciation for art - they also for all of who you have been The modern trend, notwith- enough on their hands with There are other large spaces on have a major gripe about the fail to recognise what the func- there recently – what was the standing the Atkins Diet, is to Vanbrugh. What else could it campus that would be just as use of the Mondrian style. It tions of a college should be! original purpose of the building eat less meat and to pay atten- be? Could it be another col- useful to societies as Vanbrugh does not take a Professor of Art We waited patiently for that houses he Gallery, the York tion to proper farming condi- lege trying to get their hands (it is the space not the décor of History to tell you that our dear the refurbishment of Vanbrugh Dungeon and other bastions of tions and animal welfare. This on our shiny new dining hall Vanbrugh that is wanted – I’ll old Piet was all about clean and now it’s re-opened, stu- culture? No? Time’s up. and cafeteria? get to that in a minute). We lines and uninterrupted blocks dents can’t even use it for what Blazoned on its fascia is the Residents of an area The actual campaign have Langwith and Goodricke of colour. they want. There are three original purpose of the build- of campus have behind the slogans I saw is halls that could be utilised in So why have the design- words that need to be said to ing: the York Institute, founded quite a modest one – people the same way. If these alterna- ers of Vanbrugh ignored that those who have taken away in 1827 as York’s abode of art, become the cast of who used Vanbrugh before it tives were practical, then the and whacked two great big Vanbrugh: Give it back! science, and literature. Now the Lord of the Flies Gallery, abode of Northern Soul and cheesy chips. Vive le is a sign of an advanced civili- Thomas Fremlin difference! sation. Yet the times they are a- Students should be prioritised, says For it seems that the times, changing, and this atavistic act they are a-changing. The York is a haunting thought. For the Institute has become the reference to the change of use Just a money-making machine? Gallery. Vanbrugh has become, of the Gallery is deliberate. well, Vanbrugh and some of the Once the centre of enlighten- Upon hearing about Heslington sary, provided for. On the other for three years. making money. Here, it is clear residents of an area of campus ment, now the centre of intoxi- East, I naturally assumed it was hand, when those at the top fail Three years on campus, that students are losing as a in St. Lawrence Court, have cation and license. a train station. Realising that it to consult students, and yet pro- with its miserable grey atmos- result of the university’s plans become the cast of Lord of the Decadence is growing. I was, in fact, the plan for York vide 38 per cent of the footprint phere, lack of facilities, and to accumulate, and so it seems Flies. That’s right. These par- don’t want to sound like University to expand, I have to for business, there is a tendency often poor accommodation is, only right that we should take a ticular students have satisfied Richard Littlejohn – partly confess that I was initially for it to appear investment ori- to say the least, repulsive to stand. the main plot element of because I’m not. I am as pro- rather enthusiastic. Good, I entated. Sustainable develop- most students. Surely moving Personally I think the Watership Down in shooting gressive as you would like me thought, a young and success- ment is the guise that the off campus is part of growing University should try some- down a fluffy bunny with a to be. I’m not a bigot or a prude ful establishment is looking to University uses to cover the up - the idea of fostering inde- thing new, and consult the stu- trusty 22 air-rifle and skinning - but I can’t help but think that provide more for its students fact that, if we’re being totally pendence, spreading wings and dents. Most realise that you it in preparation for the pot. society is changing for the and, furthermore, to grow as an honest, business is dictating the entering the real world (not to cannot have a University with- How delightfully primitive! worse. In years gone by, people institution. new expansion – Heslington mention the saved expenditure out investment. However, the Primitive indeed; so much would be oppressed by tradi- However, since then, the East. that not being forced to shop in running of a University has to so that I would like to reiterate: tion and close-knit spying net- picture painted has been less Where, then, does the line Costcutter will ensure). For be related to students, and the at least one student has taken works. We are now oppressed enticing, one of money spin- come in? At what point is it many this is where lessons in best way to do that is to talk to out a rifle, shot a rabbit, killed by commercialism in products ning and corporate domination, safe to say that the University, household diplomacy, day-to- them. How should this be it, and skinned it. With the and ideas. A uniformity which with student opinion at best which should ostensibly be day chores and domestic achieved? What is certain is intention of eating the damn brings in its wake a disassociat- taking a back seat and, at worst, about students, has become a finance are learned. Removing that there needs to be a repriori- thing. Now, normally, human ed, disillusioned and arrogant being thrown out of the win- money-spinning venture. I the option of living away is cer- tisation such that students are at beings being the squeamish populace happy to do anything dow. think now, for two reasons, tainly not going to be popular the fore of everything that goes creatures they are, they like to they like to relieve the bore- Business is undeniably firstly the aforementioned plans amongst the student popula- on. It will be a feature of the pretend to be rather above that dom. The Crazy Frog drags vital to the University’s finan- for the Heslington East expan- tion, just ask a few students. So, focus on students that business sort of thing. If we really must happy slapping behind it on its cial viability, and so to an sion, and, more controversially, why on earth is the University has to be involved, not to make eat rabbit (and I don’t), then we coat-tails – so, too, does it bring extent, one expects to see it new plans to incarcerate stu- even considering it? Hardly money, but to make learning have the good taste and decen- the home-shot and home- embraced and, where neces- dents on the University campus surprisingly, it comes down to and opportunities better. cy not to relish it. We hire skinned rabbit. Sponsored by NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 12 Student Comment Snappy Snaps 21st June 2005

Est. 1964 Win!Best letter receives a party camera from LETTERS Snappy Snaps Please send your comments and complaints by email to [email protected] or by York’s first fence post to nouse, Grimston House, Vanbrugh College The York area, we are told, has gained massively from playing host to Royal Ascot 2005. £60 million extra in immediate financial terms, and perhaps a lot more if York Star letter be able to reason to a level where they manages to learn how to put on big events like this, and do realise what’s best for themselves without more in the future. Those were probably not the immediate the parental guidance the SU’s welfare offi- thoughts of most York students however - the glitz of Ascot SU’s campaign cers seem to be providing. Are we really has to come first in the minds of most. Horses are big that stupid that we need to be told all the money, and as we know, the event attracts big hats and big is a step too far time what’s good for us? And I’d hope that entrances. Most locals, including students, seemed to get if someone on my corridor saw a strange into the spirit of things and many could be seen in I’m sure I speak for everyone (apart from person walk into my room then they’d go Ladbrooks flaunting the remains of their student loans in possibly all those who that think good gov- and knock and check it was ok, or ask the hope of hitting the big time. ernment is a police state), when I say that someone else to help them. There is such a York are a knock out at Roses 2005 So that is that. Ascot was great. But why ‘was’? I’m immensely glad that the idiotic plan thing as a student community and looking Because York only gets it when the South cannot manage it. from the SU to go into people’s rooms when out for each other is one part of the role that But why should Ascot just be a Home Counties affair? This they leave their door open, is finally dead community plays. year has shown that the North can cope just as well, if not and buried. And lastly I’d probably say that the better, with organising the national event and it created the Now I’m not against the principles fuss made over the whole campaign was Roses coverage most wonderful atmosphere in the city. behind it. I don’t want any of my property probably enough to make people aware of Dear Toby and Luke It’s simply tradition that keeps the heart of Ascot in the stolen and neither does anyone else, but the issues involved and lock their rooms I am writing to express my sincerest South, but whilst there are some good traditions associated invasion of privacy doesn’t seem to be the more often. So if the welfare officers had thanks for the hard work put in by yourselves with Ascot, like Pimms and weird lampshade-hats, the tra- best way to get the idea across. All the points just targeted their campaign more carefully, and the entire nouse crew during Roses 2005. ditional location is perhaps a little out-dated. The event was have obviously already been made against it; maybe in the student newspapers or used Without doubt the success of the week- not spoiled by re-rooting it to a more Northerly clime this law suits, illicit finds, and the fact that those posters and the like they probably could end was helped by the huge contribution of year so why not allow the financial benefits to be spread stickers leave a nasty residue all over the have got the same effect without having to your publication to what was a thoroughly across the country? York racecourse was not solely laptop they’ve just been placed on, so I’m go through the whole argument about the enjoyable few days for everyone in atten- designed to host Grad Ball and JCR Christmas meals. not going to list them again. But it just seems legality and principle of the issue in the first dance. The reports, stories, and pictures col- Lets just hope Ascot at York will be tried again - It may to me that seeing as their principle is to be place. lected by your paper really did a fantastic job just become a tradition. there to support the students, interference of I’m all for the SU providing services, of chronographing the weekend and I would this sort may be over-stepping their bounds. but I came to uni to get away from my par- just like to take this opportunity to thank you They obviously mean well, and John Rose is ents, I don’t need a new set while I’m up for your involvement in what must have been clearly just looking out for the well being of here. quite a frantic weekend! nouse thanks the students. But as we are a top ten uni in Tom Cullum Thanks again for passing on those pic- this country you’d hope the students would Vanbrugh College tures and I hope that you enjoyed being To all the members of the nouse team who will be graduat- involved in Roses 2005. ing this summer, thank you for all your hard work and ded- stand in the way and make things difficult! Stuart Leslie ication over the years and good luck in the real world! Whining culture Robbie goes on to suggest that these Athletic Union President A special credit must go to the former Deputy Editors student ‘crusades’ are arrogant because Clive Crouch and Sam Fugill for spending many a sleepless Why is Robbie Dale allowed a column in they’re unlikely to make a difference. I On behalf of the Roses 2005 Committee night in the office trying to meet print deadlines, and for your paper? It seems to me that his last col- admit, it’s difficult to actually change any- continuing to help out behind the scenes after standing umn was nothing more than a pathetic and thing - especially when you’re up against the down. Thanks also to the former News Editor James bitter rant against the students who dared not University like we are with Free Vanbrugh. Doughty for bringing us endless stories and exclusives. to elect him as SU President. I’m all for con- However, that is exactly why we elect fellow Take a joke Previous Music Editors Daniel Searle and his partner in troversial views, but to accuse the student students into the SU - to represent us! Can he crime Rob Taylor (also our extremely talented cartoonist) body of a culture of ‘whining’ and little else really be surprised that he failed miserably Don't listen to James Goulding (Letters - 8th will be fondly remembered for their amusing reviews. is plain ignorant. when he stood for SU President and, more March), the ComSci Blag your degree was Similarly, Gemma Ware, former Arts Editor, is not to be Did your paper not demonstrate a need recently, Communications when he is so hilarious! It made a Friday night shift at forgotten for her hard work and immaculately produced for ‘whining’ when it lead the protest against resistant to the student voice. Alcuin bar almost bearable, (no small feat). section. Another thank you to past Features Editor Jo-Anne Fruit of the Loom? We’d still be wearing I applaud your efforts to raise important I'm a second year ComSci student and while Hodgson for contributing a range of stylish and original sweat shop hoodies if no-one took the initia- issues in your paper, but Robbie’s column I can testify that there are some wierdos on features to the paper. tive to ‘whine’ about it. Similarly, the Free belittles both your efforts and the efforts of the course, the majority of us are OK. Finally, we can’t even begin to thank Toby Hall for his Vanbrugh protest may be dismissed by all your readers. Unfortunately James Goulding and his continued commitment to the paper for three long years. As Robbie and his SU chums as another thing Name and College supplied inability to take a joke only makes the article the former Editor, Toby worked hard to get nouse to the for students to moan about, but did it occur to look less like the bit of fun it was intended to standard it is now and has remained an indispensable mem- them that it’s because we actually care? It Robbie’s views are not necessarily shared by be and more like a factual piece! ber of the team. Thank you to everyone and we look for- infuriates me that whenever there is an issue the editorial team and, in general, our paper Gareth Haigh ward to seeing your names in the nationals... important to students, the SU can’t wait to strives to support student campaigns. Ed. Alcuin College Your:Platform Enough of what our writers and editors have to say, we sent reporters to find out what York students think of today’s issues 1. Should Halifax students have eaten a campus rabbit? 3.What impression has this year’s Students’ Union left on you? 2. Could you live on campus for your entire degree? 4. Has Vanbrugh been taken over by commercial interests?

Name: Ken Toe Name: Jasmina Mataz Name: Angeline Delebecq College: Vanbrugh College: James College: Goodricke Course: Music Tech / Electronics Course: History of Art / English Course: Linguistics Year: 1st Year Year: 1st Year Year: Visiting Student

1. It sounds horrific. I thought you’d get kicked out of Uni. 1. They should be shot and cooked. 1. That's a shame. You shouldn’t kill a rabbit, never. Especially 2. I’d love to stay on campus. In fact I’m planning to stay on 2. I would, because I’m just getting to know everyone. It would on campus. campus next year. It brings us together and it’s easy to socialise. be nice to stay for another year. 2. Yes, I would like to stay on campus but only if it wasn’t I want to stay on campus for three years. 3. I started off with good expectations, but some officers haven’t Goodricke. If I could change the college I was in, then I would 3. They just seem to bitch a lot between themselves. Im sure done their jobs properly and the UGMs have been a mess. stay for all my course. they are doing some good stuff, but I’d like to hear about it 4. Definitely. Vanbrugh is the best college and having their soci- 3.Really good impression. There is a good atmosphere, nice more. ety space taken away is rubbish. Heslington east is also about people and it’s a nice place. 4. Its a shame, but I’m not a member of a society affected by it. commercial interests and not students. 4. They should let societies use the dining hall. NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 21st June 2005 Snappy Snaps Sport 13

Cricketers Federer leads defeat Wimbledon Westminster to win plate challenge Continued from back page team’s only threatening bats- men who had reached his half Chris Love and Shaun century. Ollie Butterworth was brought on to finish off the Messenger look forward to a overs, and helped by the quick thinking of keeper Arthur fortnight of tennis at SW19 Vaughan as well as an amazing catch from Andy Milnes, York IT’S THAT TIME of the year of the draw. A potential second won by 32 runs. again when footballers pack round clash with Queens Still coming to terms with their suitcases and head off to Finalist Ivo Kalovic, the tallest his team’s success Belk said to exclusive sunny beaches full of man in tennis makes Roddicks get this far was ‘unbelievable’ Playboy models. While their progress into the later stages adding that the win was ‘a team overpaid agents go to war with less than certain. performance and I’m very clubs selling off their clients The newly crowned mas- proud of everyone’. With their silky skills to the highest bid- ter of clay Rafael Nadal is an Presidents’ weekend coming up der, that we are able to consider unknown quantity on grass, next week, the Cricket Club other sports. Neighbours will having only previously played will no doubt continue to cele- be disrupted but that’s accept- once in Wimbledon. All will brate their well-fought, if able due to the return of depend if he can adapt his game slightly unexpected victory as Wimbledon and Henman to tel- to the grass quickly, and Plate Champions for a good evision screens around campus. Nadal’s draw contains none of while to come. Daily coverage will play havoc the other main contenders until with revision and exams as we a semi-final, which may be the The University’s Women’s become obsessed with the best the Spaniard can hope for. Cricket team had a highly suc- annual question of ‘is this No guide to Wimbledon cessful start to their season Tim’s year?’ while indulging in would be complete without the before losing to Leeds strawberries and cream. Tim Henman factor. Another University in the Quarter-final Number one seed Roger year on he is again our only of the BUSA Shield. Federer is odds on to join Pete hope of a British winner since They had an unbeaten Sampras and Bjorn Borg as the Fred Perry 69 years ago. record in their group division, only players to win three suc- Henman remains the best bowling Newcastle out for 10 cessive titles. Unbeaten on volleyer in the world but is let runs in one of their matches, grass since 2002 and having down by a lack of penetration and were in a strong position lost only three times this year, on serve which was highlighted going into the knock-out Federer’s ability to hit winners following a disappointing stages. Easing past a boastful from any angle, to control a Queen’s. However, few would Warwick side in their last 16 rally from the baseline and then bet against Tim reaching the tie, they faced a tough match seamlessly convert to a serve quarter finals and a likely clash against Premier Division side and volley game combined with Roddick. Henman will Leeds. York struggled to make with his ice cold composure, have to produce the best tennis an impact on Leeds’ batting but makes him the man to beat. of his career if we are to hear did manage to limit them to 140 Top of the chasing pack is the cries of ‘come on Tim’ with some good bowling by the world’s fastest server Andy echoing down halls at the end Debbie Farrington. However, Roddick, who looks the most of week 10. Leed’s bowlers demolished likely to stop Federer claiming Despite Henman’s best York’s batting order and won his third successive title. efforts it would take a brave comfortably by 104 runs. Having lost to the Swiss in his man to bet against another epic Despite this disappointing past two outings at SW19 encounter between the conflict- end, the girls have performed Roddick will be thankful that ing styles of the powerhouse well against top-class opposi- following his victory at Queens that is Roddick and the subtle tion and will hope to build on he is now on the opposite side mastery of Federer. Liam Cunnah scores 51 off 51 as York defeat Westminster. Photo: Toby Hall their successes next season Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust: Is the curtain falling on Australia’s cricketing dominance?

By Daniel Whitehead stood in the sweltering sun- Australian cricketing history. though. With emphatic wins in DEPUTY SPORTS EDITOR shine after their embarrassing The unwritten rules of ‘The unwritten the West Indies and victories defeat to a Bangladeshi team on sport state that all great teams both home and away against FIN 1989, an Australian team Saturday evening they must come to end, just look at rules of the previous world number two’s captained by Allan Border took have been left with plenty to Manchester United’s and sport state South Africa, England have the Ashes back Down Under in ponder. After all the world- Wigan Warriors decade of dom- removed the image of being an emphatic 4-0 test series vic- champions had just been out- inance in their respective that all great distinctly average and replaced tory over England. Who would classed by a team described by sports. And the fact that it with a team who are general- think that 16 years on the Ashes the English press as being ‘no Australia has followed the teams come ly feared by everyone, even the would still remain in the hands better than a minor counties same ugly path as these two Aussies in the cricketing arena. of Oz? However the 2005 side’, and who’s victories occur teams, of not replacing their to an end’ So with the Test series just Ashes brings new hope, about as often as Tim Henman aging veterans with new blood weeks away, and with England England have arguably their winning a major competition. fast enough must be a high Although it would be fool- They are young, determined, unbeaten in their five previous best test team for decades, and This wasn’t a one off occasion cause for concern at this pres- ish to get carried away with and in the likes of Andrew encounters against the an ageing Australian team in though, with two other succes- ent time for the ACB. Of even saying that this summer’s Flintoff and Kevin Pietersen Australian’s I would suggest the past fortnight have wilted in sive defeats to England in the greater cause for anxiety for the Ashes is already won, and that they possess a killer instinct watching the Ashes with a pint games that a few years ago Twenty20 and Somerset just a Australian Cricket Board right England are now officially that English cricket has been of extra cold lager would be an would have been in the bag few days earlier and defeat then now may be that the most obvi- superior to the Aussies, it is fair without since the days of Ian excellent way of spending your before the first ball was again to England this Sunday ous successors to their crown of to say that Michael Vaughan’s Botham. It is not as if vacation. This could prove to bowled. this has to go down as the worst cricket’s number one team are side have all the makings of a England’s rise has not been be a truly momentous occasion As Ricky Ponting’s team week ever suffered in their most hated rivals England. truly great cricketing team. coming for several years now in English sporting history. Sponsored by NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 14 Sport Snappy Snaps 21st June 2005 Nik Engineer’s plans for York

By Daniel Whitehead This will be a great relief to DEPUTY SPORTS EDITOR many students who have been forced into attending an AU FROM THE end of Week 10 mart, an event which has suf- Stuart Leslie will be replaced fered as first years stay away by the towering figure of Nik with Fresher’s Week hang- Engineer as Athletic Union overs. Such simple improve- President. Interrupting him ments will no doubt increase form his busy schedule as cur- the appeal and accessibility of rent vice-president, Nik was the AU. able explain what York has to With continuous improve- look forward to in the coming ment of the AU the main year. theme, it will be no doubt a When asked about his plans great benefit to University for the year ahead Nik said sport when the new facilities “revitalising the AU” was a key are completed which Nik hopes aim, with “increased efficiency will open in the spring term. and professionalism” his main And with the sporting priority. Although he didn’t “advancements in the wish to go into specifics about Heslington East development” the policies he would be look- he claims 2006 will be one of ing to implement, he did prom- the “most important and inter- Photo: Toby Hall ise a “summer of policy plan- esting years in recent history.” ning” from him and the other On a final note before officials which will make up Stuart hands over the reigns to the team leading the Athletic his deputy, Nik wanted to thank Union next year. “the wonderful people” that he Student winners and losers as Nik’s main ideas for trans- has worked with over the past forming the AU seem to twelve months for “one of the revolve around the “modernisa- best years for a long time” in Ascot comes to the Knavesmire tion of the way people join the York’s recent sporting history. AU” with the introduction of But with a “better and stronger online forms for signing up AU” promised for 2005/06, By Toby Hall spent everything before the catering companies were des- racing got going you couldn’t “vital” to his plans. things may get even better. PRODUCTION MANAGER bookies had put up the odds for perate to recruit anyone who stop them. Some of them were the last race. No Pimm’s, no could take the pressure of pretty disgusting on Ladies day ROYAL ASCOT may have cheap champagne and only the delivering the gallons of alco- – one woman had a shit in a uri- been an unprecedented success walk home to reflect on a wast- hol needed to quench the mass- nal, and there were plenty of Squash Club taste for the Knavesmire racecourse ed £60. es of northerners basking in the couples having sex behind my and the thousands of punters At least I drew comfort uncharacteristic sun. Second Pimm’s tent.’ In retrospect, who bet on the favourite from knowing there were peo- year Flora Bradwell comment- maybe working wouldn’t have tri-racket glory Westerner in the Gold Cup on ple worse off than myself. ed that ‘things were pretty quiet been worth it, at least not for Thursday, but my experience of Probably the only safe bet I in the mornings, but when the the unlucky toilet attendants. By Clive Crouch took place throughout the after- Ladies Day in York taught me made all day was to turn up noon of Saturday Week 7. one valuable lesson: never bet without a ticket, as wild-eyed MEMBERS OF the University Squash, who are somewhat your bus money on a horse with touts begged passers-by to buy The best bets at this year’s festival Squash team emerged victori- renowned within the Union for an amusing name. tickets at half their face value. ous when the campus racket their self-proclaimed ‘leg- I was forced to return There was more than a hint of Tuesday, 4.55, Leg Spinner, 9/1 clubs faced off against each endary’ socials, eventually won home on foot after some casual desperation in their bartering, Under pressure throughout race, just held off challenge to win other in a three-way tourna- the competition. gambling that left me without a and a minute or so of haggling ment last weekend. After beating the Tennis win on any of the day’s six under the noses of the race- Wednesday, 3.05, Peeress, 14/1 In a competition to find club at badminton, they pro- races. Preferring the rank out- course security guards led to Held up behind leaders for most of race, led in final furlong York’s ‘ultimate racket club,’ ceeded to see off the sider Mr Dinos at a speculative some serious discounts. Thursday 3.05 Thakafaat 22/1 men’s and women’s sides from Badminton Club’s challenge on 20/1 for the Gold Cup, as well It seemed to me that the Took an early lead after two furlongs, and just held on Tennis, Squash and Badminton the tennis courts, amassing a as placing a hopeful fiver each sensible money was all in the played matches against each total of 33 points. way on Beaver Patrol in the pockets of students who had Friday 4.20 Imperial Stride 25/1 other in their two respective The Badminton Club fin- Brittania Stakes left me penni- decided to dump their lectures Held up early, but led final furlong to win by two lengths non-specialist sports. ished second, with 21 points, less. When the favourite Indigo and seminars for a week and The tournament, conceived having put a clear margin Cat cruised home in the fifth work behind one of the many Saturday 5.30 Cruzspiel 10/1 and organised by committee between themselves and third- Led over five furlongs, driven out in final furlong race of the day to uproarious bars. Despite surprisingly few members from the three clubs, placed Tennis. applause, I realised that I’d tips from stingy race goers,

leave a lasting legacy and fulfil Frank Warren handily the pro- Birth of a British champion, his potential he has to pick his moter of Hatton and Calzaghe. fights well. This exposure would cement The most likely option Hatton’s image in the US and but can Ricky Hatton take hinted at by Frank Warren, allow him to fight against Hatton’s promoter, is of Hatton potential contenders such as taking on Diego Corrales the Floyd Mayweathern and Arturo the pressure at this level? WBC and WBO lightweight Gatti. The last step of Hatton’s champion, in November on the journey may be a fight against By Paul van der Neut Few commentators fans packed into the MEN same card as WBO mid- the Puerto Rican golden boy, BOXING CLUB PRESIDENT expected Hatton to beat a fight- Arena in Manchester. dleweight champion Joe Miguel Cotto. Cotto who is er of the calibre of Tszyu. The Afterwards both warriors were Calzaghe. unbeaten in 24 fights would be RICKY HATTON’S victory pace and intensity of Hatton’s the epitome of sportsmanship Welshman Calzaghe is an even more challenging over Kostya Tszyu has been performance in the early hours with Hatton magnanimous in due to fight the American IBF prospect than Tszyu. That fight quite rightly described as one of of June 5th were staggering and victory and Tszyu full of praise middleweight title-holder Jeff would be the defining moment the greatest fights on British ultimately more than the ageing for the younger fighter Lacy and has come out publicly of his career. soil in the last two decades, pro- Tszyu could bear. Tszyu failed However, Hatton’s win in support of a lucrative British The path Hatton takes will viding a master class of prepa- to make it out of his corner for should be seen as the beginning needs to be planned as meticu- ‘super-fight-night’. Lacy hap- end in either a waste of talent, ration, execution and determi- the twelve-rounds to the of his journey rather than the lously as Hatton’s preparations pens to have the same promot- or the emergence of a boxing nation. absolute delight of the 22,000 end point. This is a journey that for the fight itself. At 26, to er, Gary Shaw, as Corrales with legend. Good luck Ricky. NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 21st June 2005 Snappy Snaps Sport 15 AU Sports day victory for Goodricke Edge not enough as Langwith take title With AU President By Daniel Whitehead Stuart Leslie DEPUTY SPORTS EDITOR The final standings Recently, the Colours Committee IT WAS a damp, miserable day 1. Langwith 247 have considered several nomina- to be competing in the penulti- tions for Club and Team of the mate event of the college sport- 2. Goodricke 232.5 Year, and on receiving these ing calendar, but for Goodricke applications it became apparent it seemed perfect. The team 3. Derwent 230 just how much initiative and ded- who dominated York 4. Vanbrugh 206.5 ication has gone into the success University’s college sport scene of the past twelve months. All 16 between 1997 and 2002 were 5. Halifax 177.5 applications for Club of the Year giving current leaders Langwith 6. James 145.5 were excellent, and I was gen- serious cause for concern as uinely impressed by the efforts they finished 18.5 points ahead 7. Alcuin 117.5 put in by volunteers on all the of them on Wednesday. Yet the club committees. Without doubt consistency displayed by it is such hard work that has con- Langwith, and their convincing saw them steal the title from tributed to the drastic improve- lead they had built throughout Langwith on the final day last ment of our teams’ performances the year was enough to see them year, and it does now seem that this year. In the BUSA clinch their first ever college the new holders did have the University Points Table, York sport title over the weekend. last laugh. Vanbrugh were has had its best year on record, For Goodricke it must steady throughout the three potentially ending up with a top have felt like quite an achieve- terms, with there never really 25 finish, once the points for ment to finish second in the being a worry of being sucked winning the Men’s Cricket Plate final standings, after what could into the lower end of the table have been added this week. I can only be described as a mediocre and never a sign of confidence assure you that this result is an few years by their standards. in their ability to push for victo- incredible achievement for the After finishing in mid-table ry either. Athletic Union and the obscurity in 2003/04, and being The award for the most University, considering that York in a similar position for the first disappointing performance of has failed to finish in the top 50 two terms this year, to finish the year must go to Halifax. for the past three years, and has only 14.5 points off the winners They were touted as obvious placed above several institutions was an extraordinary feat. They favourites for this year’s com- with considerably more students, must now look to carry forward petition due to their size in com- let alone resources. this momentum in the winter parison to other colleges. Yet It is not only our BUSA- months of the 2005/06 season. despite a decent mid-season playing clubs that have experi- As for third place their final term was shambolic, enced good fortune in their Derwent, they may not be as and as they came ahead of only exploits. Whatever personal content with their final position. Alcuin on Sports Day their reps opinions you may have on the At around the half-way stage of have plenty to ponder over the statement expressed by Pole this marathon competition they summer months if they are to Exercise Club, I challenge any- were just three points adrift of mount any serious challenge one to doubt that to accelerate leaders Langwith. However, next year. from 0-300 in less than six their disappointing final term To wrap up the final stand- months in terms of membership was made up for by an impres- ings were the two newest col- is an incredible achievement, and sive performance on sports day, leges, James and Alcuin, who the club’s integration into the AU leaving them with the bronze were stuck fighting for the has been almost seamless; a and a feeling of needing to do wooden-spoon throughout the credit to those at the helm. better next time round. season. They must be giving Looking to the future, a Shock 2003/04 winners credit for still competing suc- Photo: Gorgie Mabee new indoor facility will be on Vanbrugh were unable to pro- cessfully in several sports campus by the end of this calen- duce the same heroics which though, despite their small size. The Shot Putt was one of a few field events that did not fall foul of the weather dar year, solving many of the problems of demand for space in the current Sports Centre. This will provide an ideal stop-gap for Tuesday 21st June, set by Cornius the next 5-7 years until The Quick Crossword Heslington East acquires its own high-quality sports provision. Across 23. One Across’ possibly Twenty-one Across To briefly sum up the year, crucial decider (9) (5) we won Roses by the largest 1. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...(9) 19. Clapton or Cantona margin in recent memory, a new 8. Old fashioned cloth- Down (4) Varsity tournament was not only ing (7) established but conquered, the 9. Vibratory sound (5) 2. Toffs belong in this AU raised more than double the 10. What you pick your class (5) Solution for 8th March amount of money for charity luggage off at an air- 3. Inflictor of pain (10) than ever before and several port (8) 4. More greasy (6) teams have got promoted. I feel 11. At the beginning of 5. What this publication proud to have been involved over stories, does this get has a lot of (4) the past twelve months and up on time? (4) 6. Used to keep your would like to thank all of the 13. Idle gossip; light tresses in place (7) AU’s 2500-strong membership conversation (6) 7. One Across’ number for making this all possible, 15. ____ Of a Down (6) queen, Carol ______along with a flock of other 17. A musical work (4) (9) invaluable devotees. All in all it’s 20. approach; result of 10. One of two options been an experience I know I’ll ursine wrong footing Carol (Seven Down) never forget. (4,4) might give you (9) Finally, I’d just like to wish 21. For him, getting shot 12. H (8) Stuck? Solutions for this edi- Nik and his team the best of luck tion’s Quick Crossword can be is part of the job 14. Executor of the will found on our website at for 2005-2006, and let you all description (5) (7) http://www.nouse.com/cross- know that if you happen to be 22. Like Paul Daniels or 15. What beefeaters pre- word at the start of Week 10 offering employment (or alterna- (Monday, 27th June). A full solu- David Copperfield fer to be called (6) tion crossword will also be print- tively a plane ticket to South (7) 18. Wilde; vied for by ed in the next edition America) you know where my office is for the next two weeks!! 16

Royal Ascot in York: The winners and losers at this Sport year’s festival 21 JUNE 2005 Page 14 Langwith victorious in three way fight

By Daniel Whitehead into the final term. DEPUTY SPORTS EDITOR This is not to suggest that it was straight forward though. LANGWITH made history in Langwith had to fight off a the early hours of Monday Spring term resurgence from morning as confirmation came early favourites Halifax who through that they had won their looked liked they might over- first ever college sport title. haul them at one stage. It was- They fought off strong n’t to be though as Halifax self- competition from York destructed in the later stages of University’s two most histori- the year. More problems were cally successful sporting col- to follow in the final week leges, Goodricke and Derwent, though, as they suffered a dis- who finished second and third appointing Sports Day on the respectively, and took the top Wednesday of Week 8, finish- spot by a margin of fourteen ing a long way behind late chal- and a half points. lengers Derwent and The victory will have Goodricke. But their Langwith come as a huge relief for a col- spirit (which is apparently part lege who exactly a year ago of us all, so we’re told) and were agonisingly knocked off excellent form throughout the the top spot on the final day by year saw them through to a well Vanbrugh, who took the title by deserved victory. an unbelievable half point mar- Now they must look ahead gin. However, Langwith did not to becoming only the third col- mourn their defeat over the lege to ever retain their title. summer period, but came back But in 2005/06 they must even stronger this year, as they improve in the athletics and produced convincing displays their one-day events or face a throughout the winter months, less impressive final position and took a comfortable lead next time around. Langwith’s strong college spirit helped to a first title, despite poor sports day results. Photo: Toby Hall Northern weather and Southern opposition no match as York Men’s Cricket team take title

THE UNIVERSITY’S Men’s By Gemma Ware ry over Liverpool John Moores such a highly anticipated off 51 balls in an impressive bowled. Then York’s captain 1st Cricket team finished off in the quarter final which saw match. York opened the batting, display, which formed the Matt Belk brought on the spin- their season in style last them chasing 249 to win, York but the wet ground led to a slow backbone of an innings in ners, in a timely move which Wednesday by beating the eased past Bolton in the semis outfield and initially many of which he went on to make 72. saw Jamie Vanner take 3 for 28. University of Westminster in to secure the chance to prove the runs were gained from Other useful scores were However, it was York’s sharp- the final of the Men’s Plate to themselves at home against hard-won and nervy singles. reached by Andy Exley who ness in the field that steered become BUSA Champions. Westminster. Westminster’s bowling made 39 and Jamie Vanner them to victory with some Having only progressed into In a match hampered by was never a great threat and at whose 20 not out helped shep- superb catches around the the knockout stages of the com- bad weather, which reduced the times it seemed like York were herd York to a total of 168 -7. ground. And as Westminster petition because of an adminis- innings to thirty overs apiece, making it hard for themselves Westminster’s chance to were left needing 54 off 26 trative error by Newcastle, York never really looked like at the crease. Some dubious pile on the pressure after tea balls to win, and Liam Cunnah York never took their progress being the losing team. A few calling led to York’s first three fell victim to some superb secured his position as Man of for granted and continually spectators braved the weather wickets being lost to over- bowling by the home team, the Match by making a superb stepped up their game to meet and sat huddled under the ambitious run-outs. Despite with James Hallam starting the running catch to take the wick- the challenges of each oppo- veranda of the pavilion, but it these early problems, York’s run of wickets in only the sec- et of Kamran Akthar, the away nent. With an impressive victo- was an inauspicious start to opener Liam Cunnah scored 51 ond over with a tidy caught and Continued, page 13

THE VOICE OF YORK STUDENTS