CONFLICT RESOLUTION

A. CONFLICT RESOLUTION MECHANISM Mechanisms of conflict resolution In cases when the conflict cannot be prevented, there are commonly used mechanisms to resolve them. There are many alternatives for conflict resolution. Deciding on the type of dispute mechanism to use depends on a variety of factors including:  the nature of the dispute;  the relationship between the two partners;  the sensitivity of the issues involved; and  the likely outcome and cost of litigation. When these factors are considered, mediation 1. Negotiation Negotiation offers the best option and opportunity for peaceful conflict-resolution. When properly managed, conflicts can deepen relationships and strengthen the community, be it local or global. The basic rules of dispute-resolution are deceptively simple: Play fair. Apply the golden rules and principles of equality, justice and honesty. If one party keeps on moving the goal posts and changing the rules of the game, the other party will eventually cry “foul” and stop playing. Listen attentively and proactively. Try to understand each other's assumptions, ideas and intentions. Respect each other. Respect is the key to keeping the dialogue going. Don't insult, don't lie and don't play the "blaming" game. Find the common ground. Focus on sameness and common interests. Be clear about the objective. When either party is vague about its desired objective, it is difficult to reach an agreement. Be willing to consider other alternatives and be prepared to explore those various alternatives in order to find a win-win solution. Focus on facts. Separate facts from fiction and emotion. Agree on the basic set of realities that are directly relevant to the dispute. Use reason. Settle differences through meaning-clarification, problem-solving, mediation or third- party arbitration. Simply do what is reasonable according to most rational, objective observers. Resist the temptation to use force. When there is a power differential, the stronger one may want to settle the difference through force or threats of force. Be careful about achieving an unjust victory through superior might, because there are always negative side effects. Accept and tolerate differences. It is alright for a person to have deep convictions about his or her own beliefs and values, but that does not give him or her the right to attack those who hold different beliefs, no matter how offensive their views might be. Learn to co-exist. When there are irreconcilable differences, then the only solution is to agree to (a) go separate ways and (b) live apart in peace.

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Forgive each other. Both parties have to let go of past grievances and forgive each other in order to repair relationships. Be prepared to compromise. There has to be some give and take for both parties. It is possible for a person to compromise without sacrificing his or her principles.

2. Mediation

Mediation serves to satisfy the needs of the two disputing partners, while at the same time preserving or strengthening their future relationship. A mediator sits down with the two partners and guides their discussion. The mediator is a neutral third party, with no independent authority or ability to impose a settlement – his or her role is not to make the final decision, but to guide the partners to a mutually-agreed-upon solution.

3. Arbitration

Arbitration differs significantly from mediation. While the arbitrator is a neutral third party, the parties to the public-private partnership both argue their side of the dispute in arbitration, rather than working together to come to a solution, as is the case in mediation. The arbitrator then renders a final binding decision as to the solution to the dispute (unless the partners have agreed otherwise beforehand). In addition to saving time and money, the advantages of using either of these methods include:  confidentiality – discussions to remedy the dispute are conducted in private, in front of a mediator or arbitrator, not in a public courtroom;  the business relationship, which might be lost in the acrimonious environment of a courtroom, can be preserved;  the dispute can be resolved privately and by using terms that both partners have agreed to in advance;  complicated facts can be considered by the parties to the dispute, with the advice of outside experts from the field if necessary, rather than a decision being made by a judge or jury composed of lay people; and  the distractions that can be caused among employees when litigation is involved are minimized.

4. Litigation

Taking the case to court is the least preferred option – it increases the acrimony; it turns the conflict into a situation where the final outcome is a win-loss one; and pursuing legal action can be a drain on time and resources. Requirements for arbitration procedures and judiciaries Clear and fair arbitration procedures and independent judiciaries provide institutional safeguards because they provide accountability, and thus help make the contracting environment predictable and credible. These institutions help establish and maintain a high level of trust and co-operation between the public and private sectors.

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Certainty is increased for both parties when clear procedures exist for dispute resolution through arbitration or, when arbitration fails, through independent courts. The quality of these institutions is critical in signaling the government’s commitment to constraining the discretionary power of regulators. Thus, independent judiciaries provide a fundamental backstop to a country’s legal and regulatory system. An independent judiciary with a reputation for fairness adds credibility and transparency to the legal framework and thus gives comfort to investors. Ideally, domestic judicial or arbitral forums should not only be in place, but should also have a track record of predictability and fairness in decision-making. A consistent track record can produce potentially significant reductions in the risks associated with projects and with the associated pricing of project delivery.

5. off ramps

Rather than taking the other party to court, it might be better for all concerned to realize that things aren’t going to be resolved and to fall back on the “off ramp” clauses that the contract contains to formally dissolve the partnership. The reasons for invoking off ramp clauses must be spelled out in the contract and should cover such factors as dissolving the partnership because (of):  either partner feels that it should not continue in the relationship;  the financial situation of the private partner;  the scope of work or the price of subsequent phases of the project have been assessed as being unrealistic;  the private partner may not be able to successfully complete the project; or  the municipality may be unable to achieve satisfactory participation by the private partner. Much like the decision to partner, the local government should know the costs and benefits associated with the use of off ramp provisions before they are used. The local government should also have a contingency plan to mitigate service interruption should a public-private partnership off ramp be used.

B. CONFLICT RESOLUTION STRATEGY The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which is an assessment used globally in conflict handling, specifies five strategies used to address conflict. They are as follows:

1. Accommodating

Accommodation involves having to deal with the problem with an element of self-sacrifice; an individual sets aside his own concerns to maintain peace in the situation. Thus, the person yields to what the other wants, displaying a form of selflessness. It might come as an immediate solution to the issue; however it also brings about a false manner of dealing with the problem. This can be disruptive if there is a need to come up with a more sound and creative way out of the problem. This behavior will be most efficient if the individual is in the wrong as it can come as a form of conciliation.

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2. Avoiding

In this approach, there is withdrawal from the conflict. The problem is being dealt with through a passive attitude. Avoiding is mostly used when the perceived negative end outweighs the positive outcome. In employing this, individuals end up ignoring the problem, thinking that the conflict will resolve itself. It might be applicable in certain situations but not in all. Avoidance would mean that you neglect the responsibility that comes with it. The other individuals involved might think that you are neglecting the problem. Thus, it is better to confront the problem before it gets worse.

3. Collaborating

Collaborating aims to find a solution to the conflict through cooperating with other parties involved. Hence, communication is an important part of this strategy. In this mechanism, effort is exerted in digging into the issue to identify the needs of the individuals concerned without removing their respective interests from the picture. Collaborating individuals aim to come up with a successful resolution creatively, without compromising their own satisfactions.

4. Competing

Competition involves authoritative and assertive behaviors. In this style, the aggressive individual aims to instil pressure on the other parties to achieve a goal. It includes the use of whatever means to attain what the individual thinks is right. It may be appropriate in some situations but it shouldn’t come to a point wherein the aggressor becomes too unreasonable. Dealing with the conflict with an open mind is vital for a resolution to be met.

5. Compromising

Compromising is about coming up with a resolution that would be acceptable to the parties involved. Thus, one party is willing to sacrifice their own sets of goals as long as the others will do the same. Hence, it can be viewed as a mutual give-and-take scenario where the parties submit the same amount of investment for the problem to be solved. A disadvantage of this strategy is the fact that since these parties find an easy way around the problem, the possibility of coming up with more creative ways for a solution would be neglected.

Given the different conflict management styles, you might be thinking of the one style that would suit you the most. It is important to note that the strategy involved in coming up with a resolution is relative to the kind of the problem.

C. CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS

1. Active listening

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Active listening is a skill used by salespeople to better connect them with customers during a pitch. However, it’s just as useful a skill when trying to manage and resolve conflicts.

Active listening begins with intently focusing on what your customer has to say. Make note of their phrasing then respond using their same wording. This not only demonstrates that you were listening, but it will also help clear up any confusion about your argument. Additionally, be sure to ask questions when you’re confused about a point and focus on identifying the other person’s goals.

2. Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence describes the ability to read and understand your emotions, as well as the emotions of others. This is incredibly important for conflict management because it prevents escalation. If you can effectively interpret your opposition’s emotions, it’s easier to communicate with them without provoking them. If you can eliminate frustration and anger from the conflict, people will be more likely to focus on compromising because they aren’t distracted by their emotions.

3. Patience

Conflicts are rarely simple or easy to overcome. People don’t like to be wrong and will often hold their stance on an issue until they’re right or proven wrong. If you’re looking to resolve a conflict, it’s important to keep in mind that the problem may not be solved right away, even if the solution is obvious.

No matter what the conflict is, you still need to take the time to listen to every participant and value each argument evenly. Even if there’s a clear answer, rushing to a resolution can make people feel like they’re left out in the decision-making process. Taking the time to equally consider all options now can help create a long-term solution that will save you a headache later.

4. Impartiality

Conflicts can be difficult to resolve because they often never stay focused solely on the conflict itself. The conflict usually acts as an initial spark that ignites previous tension that has built up between the two parties over time. Now the problem that started the conflict can’t be resolved because of the historical bias that exists between the participants.

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In these cases, it’s important to separate the conflict from the people who are involved with it. Don’t focus on the people and their personal characteristics, instead, look at the problem itself and center your energy on finding a middle ground. While you probably can’t solve your personal issues with the other person, you can definitely work on the tangible issues that impede you from meeting goals.

4. Positivity

It’s hard to come to an agreement if no one is happy about it. Even if you do, a half-hearted compromise doesn’t motivate you to actually follow through on your promise either. In many cases, it can even provide a participant with an escape from having to continue to deal with the conflict altogether.

Being positive with your conflict management is a great way to keep progress moving forward. Conflicts are full of roadblocks and you’ll need to be willing to overcome them if you want to come to a resolution. Having the right attitude towards facing the conflict can become a catalyst for other participants who may be wearier of the interaction.

5. Open Communication

Conflicts create a relationship between the participants that doesn’t end with the resolution of the problem. This relationship lasts forever and needs to be nurtured for the conflict to remain solved.

Creating an open line of communication between the two parties is the best approach for fostering a healthy, long-term relationship. Both parties can check in on one another and make sure that both ends of the agreement are being upheld. If new challenges arise, this communication channel makes it easier for participants to address the roadblock without risking any progress they’ve previously made.

While these skills can help you and your team manage conflicts and prevent them from escalating, it’s important to understand how you can use them in action to work towards resolutions. In the next section, we break down some of the ways you can use these skills to produce effective conflict resolutions

6. Don’t jump to the defense

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In any conflict, whether it be professional or personal, it's easy to jump to the defense. Your banter might include a series of "no's" and "yes, but" statements that show that you're unable to see another perspective.

Rather than getting defensive about an attack on your argument, take it as an opportunity to see things from a different point-of-view. You don't have to agree with that person, but you can try to understand where they're coming from. Just as you have your opinion, they have theirs, and refusing to hear their point of view creates an impossible scenario to navigate.

Instead, change those "yes, but" statements into "I understand, and" statements that build off one another, rather than tearing each other down.

7. Don’t point fingers

On the opposite side, jumping on the offensive is also disrespectful and creates a negative foundation where a final solution is often hopeless.

Don't put blame on others or create a space in which someone feels unsafe to voice their opinion. The best way to solve a conflict is by allowing each person to frame their argument without being blamed or shut down. After all, you wouldn't appreciate the same being done to you, either.

8. Let the person explain themselves, and actively listen

Listening is a huge aspect of conflict resolution that's typically overlooked. Your goal is often to get your voice in as much as possible so you can explain every little detail of your argument and try as hard as you can to get the opposing party to see your side.

Instead, let the other person explain themselves, uninterrupted. You may find that you misinterpreted their original argument and you'll be more equipped to handle compromising or collaborating on a new solution when you've taken the time to listen, think, and plan.

9. Use “T” statements

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Similarly to pointing fingers, a series of statements that begin with "you" clearly come off as blaming. Conflict isn't about what the other person is doing wrong; it's about what you believe you're doing right.

Thus, using "I" statements, such as "I feel like I'm not getting the chance to explain myself" rather than "You're not listening to me" can totally transform your conversation. These sentences will make your argument more about your emotions, opinions, personal beliefs, and morals, rather than about all the things you don't like about the opposing party. No one can disagree with something you believe or standby, and it makes for a more respectful debate.

10. Maintain a calm tone

No effective conflict resolution was ever born from anger and tears. You need to remain level- headed in order to think rationally about a solution that appeases both parties.

Wait until you've let out your emotions before you plan a time to meet and discuss with the opposing party. You're allowed to yell, cry, vent, or whatever else you need, but do it on your own time. When you enter the conflict resolution meeting, you should be calm and ready to debate with consideration for differing perspectives.

11. Show a willingness to compromise or collaborate

Depending on the situation, other conflict management styles may be more effective. For smaller, trivial conflicts, avoiding them may make sense. An accommodating style may work when the other party seems to care much more about the solution than you do. And, a competing style could be the choice when there is limited time to make a decision and you simply need to put your foot down.

However, in most other significant conflicts, it's essential to come to some sort of agreement between both parties. Thus, you sometimes need to let go of your pride and your grip on your argument. Show the opposing party that, as much as you care about the conflict and about your side, you care more about coming to a solution that pleases everyone and has the necessary impact.

12. Don’t talk behind people’s backs

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What happens between you and the opposing party should stay between you and them, unless it’s absolutely necessary to divulge the details of your conflict. Conflict resolution should always be built on honesty with one another and trust that what was said will remain secret.

While you may sometimes have the urge to vent, consider other options to do so that won't affect the reputation of that person. You could write out your feelings in a journal or talk to someone who has no ties to that person and keep their name anonymous. This way, you can protect the privacy of the conversation.

13. Don’t take anything personally

A conflict with a customer or team member is typically not a conflict with you, personally. It usually involves your professional role or something that occurred to or with you. Thus, a conflict that emerges is never an attack on you.

Many people get defensive or upset or refuse to budge on an argument because they cling to their viewpoint as a part of themselves. If you can learn to separate yourself from the conflict, it will be a lot easier to accept compromise or a collaborated solution that is, at the end of the day, better for all parties involved.

14. Pay close attention to nonverbal communication

Not everyone is great at handling conflict head-on. These are the people who might typically lean towards avoiding or accommodating as their conflict management styles. Basically, these people don't like conflict and won't always be transparent with you about what they want or need. In these situations, it's important to pay attention to their nonverbal communication.

Body language can tell you when someone is saying one thing but means another. By being emotionally aware, you can notice when someone's posture, gestures, or facial expressions differ from their words. When someone says "I'm fine," you can tell they're not fine if they avert their eyes. Then, you can create an environment that makes that person feel more comfortable being honest with you.

15. Prioritize resolving the conflict over being right

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A conflict in the workplace is typically one that involves more than just yourself. Perhaps it's a frustrating call with an angry customer or an issue with a policy change implemented by your manager. Whatever it may be, the situation goes beyond you.

Thus, when you're trying to resolve the conflict, you might need to take a step back and assess the situation in such a way. Recognize that, even if you have a strong opinion on one end of the spectrum, it might be beneficial to wave the white flag if it ultimately improves the conditions for everyone else. Conflict resolution is occasionally about making those sacrifices.

16. Know when to apologize and forgive

Two of the hardest words to say are, "I'm sorry." It's not easy to apologize when you feel like you were right all along. Don't let your stubborn attitude and pride deter you from making amends with the opposing party.

In an instance when the party might be responsible for apologizing to you, you may feel so riled up about comments they made that you don't think you can forgive them. However, these relationships are professional, first. Put aside your personal annoyances and forgive that person. This will make for a healthier relationship moving forward.

17. Focus on the conflict at hand and not past ones

In attempting to resolve a conflict, you may start getting frustrated with the other person. This can bring up memories of past conflicts you've had with that person. And, in the heat of the moment, it can feel like the perfect time to bring those up, too.

I like to consider a 48-hour rule. If a conflict emerges or there's something that bothers you about someone else, you should reach out and ask to discuss it within 48 hours. Once that time frame has passed, you should let it go. So, any pent-up frustrations about past conflicts that were never resolved should not be brought up later on when trying to resolve a different conflict. The time has passed, and it's important to remain in the present.

18. Use humor, when appropriate

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Using humor to lighten the mood during conflict resolution is only appropriate in conflicts that are not personal. You never want to offend someone by making a joke about something that is a sensitive topic.

Instead, consider this to be a tool to make you both loosen up and feel more comfortable discussing a solution. Read the opposing party, and use your best judgment to decide if humor is something they would appreciate. Sometimes, that's all it takes to end an argument and turn it into a constructive conversation.

19. Remember the importance of the relationship

At the end of the day, a conflict is usually one small roadblock in an, otherwise, healthy relationship. While you may not necessarily be friends with that person, you probably aren't usually butting heads.

How far are you willing to go to protect your argument? Are you willing to ruin a relationship over it? If not -- which, hopefully, is never the case except in very serious circumstances -- then breathe and take it as it goes. In most cases, you won't even remember the conflict after some time has passed. So, learn to put your relationships first. That will create a more collected and respectful conflict resolution process.

D. STEPS TO THE CONFLICT RESOLUTION PROCESS

1. Clarify what the disagreement is.

Clarifying involves getting to the heart of the conflict. The goal of this step is to get both sides to agree on what the disagreement is. To do this, you need to discuss what needs are not being met on both sides of the conflict and ensure mutual understanding. During the process, obtain as much information as possible on each side’s point of view. Continue to ask questions until you are certain that all parties involved (you and those on either side of the conflict) understand the issue.

2. Establish a common goal for both parties

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In this step of the process, both sides agree on the desired outcome of the conflict. “When people know that they’re working towards the same goal, then they’re more apt to participate truthfully to make sure that they reach that end goal together.” Kimberly A. Benjamin explained in a recent BLR webinar. To accomplish this, discuss what each party would like to see happen and find a commonality in both sides as a starting point for a shared outcome. That commonality can be as simple as “both sides want to end the conflict.”

3. Discuss ways to meet the common goal

This involves listening, communicating, and brainstorming together. Continue with both sides working together to discuss ways that they can meet the goal they agreed on in step 2. Keep going until all the options are exhausted.

4. Determine the barriers to the common goal

In this step of the process, the two parties acknowledge what has brought them into the conflict and talk about what problems may prevent a resolution. Understanding the possible problems that may be encountered along the way lets you proactively find solutions and have plans in place to handle issues. Define what can and cannot be changed about the situation. For the items that cannot be changed, discuss ways of getting around those road blocks.

5. Agree on the best way to resolve the conflict

Both parties need to come to a conclusion on the best resolution. Start by identifying solutions that both sides can live with. Ask both sides and see where there is common ground. Then start to discuss the responsibility each party has in maintaining the solution. It’s also important to use this opportunity to get to the root cause to ensure this conflict will not come up again. “A lot of times when we try to fix problems, we get so caught up in fixing it that we do not identify what we need to do so it doesn’t happen.” Benjamin cautioned.

6. Acknowledge the agreed upon solution and determine the responsibilities each party has in the resolution

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Both sides need to own their responsibility in the resolution of the conflict and express aloud what they have agreed to. After both parties have acknowledged a win-win situation, ask both parties to use phrases such as “I agree to…” and “I acknowledge that I have responsibility for…”

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