Dawson's Creek Season III

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Episode 22&23 transcripts were taken from Dawson’s Creek Information Zone

Like A Virgin

(Cut to a bus cruising down the street with encounter with a beautiful woman who’s destination of CAPE COD written on the front. ‘Old essentially a fantasy character of his own creation. Time Rock & Roll’ is blaring in the background. Eve: Hey, you’re adorable. What’s your name? Cut to the interior of the bus where Dawson is Dawson: Dawson. Dawson Leery. sleeping with his headphones on, head resting on (They shake hands. Dawson has to pull away his shirt. He wakes up and notices the girl sitting first.) next to him. It’s EVE. She says something to him Dawson: You alright? but he can’t hear because of the headphones. He Eve: My father taught me. Always when shaking takes them off.) hands make sure the other guy pulls away first. Dawson: Sorry. It’s a powerful advantage in all human intercourse. Eve: You’re drooling. On your chin. Saliva from Dawson: Actually...I meant your skin...do you sleep. have a fever or something? (Dawson moves to wipe it off.) Eve: No, it’s just me. It’s my temperature. I run a Eve: Did you know that you’re a very heavy few degrees hot. So...when are you going to tell breather? me about your girlfriend? Dawson: No. (Dawson looks at her. Cut to opening credits.) Eve: Oh, and an insinuating, conversationalist, (Cut to Joey holding a gas nozzle in a boat at just my luck. What’s on your lap? LOGAN’S MARINA. She checks her watch. A (Dawson looks at her.) figure approaches. It’s ROB LOGAN.) Eve: Not that! The movie, what are you watching? ROB: I’ll take it from here, Potter. Dawson: Oh, uh, Risky Business. Joey: You said you’d be here by eight o’clock. Eve: The one with Tom Cruise? ROB: Isn’t that sweet? Little girl is nervous about Dawson: Yep, and Rebecca DeMourney(sp?). missing the first day of school. Oh the Salad Days! Eve: The one where they do it on the train. And I remember them well. it’s unbelievably sweet and believable even Joey: Spare me the Shakespeare, Rob. My last though he’s a virgin and she’s a battle-scarred class ends at 2:30. I should be back here by 3:00. hooker who’s done it with hundreds of men. ROB: Don’t be late. Dawson: It’s more of a myth. Joseph Campbell (Cut to two Eggos popping out of the toaster. Jack meets Sigmeund Freud meets Holden Caulfield. A grabs them and puts them on a plate. Jen grabs teenage boy passes into manhood with a sexual that plate and another plate with two Eggos and 1 takes them to the kitchen table and then grabs Dawson: Alright... two glasses while Jack simultaneously pours milk Mitch: I’ll write down the number of the hotel into each one. Then, they both sit down to where I’ll be. breakfast and they notice Grams watching them.) Pacey: Coaching conference? Jack & Jen (simultaneously): What? Dawson: What? You haven’t heard yet? Grams: And how long have you two been Substitute Mitch is Capeside High’s new varsity married? football coach. (Jack turns and smiles at Jen. They laugh. Cut to Pacey: Congratulations, Mr. Leery. How are our Pacey and Dawson in the Leery kitchen.) trusted Minutemen doing? What’s the streak Pacey: And what happened when you woke up? now...0 and 38? Dawson: She morphed into pure oxygen air and (Dawson smiles.) just vanished. Mitch: Pacey, you have little faith. I can assure Pacey: I hate it when that happens! you as a former Minuteman myself that this Dawson: It was the weirdest night. She was like season will be a winning one. Here. the perfect girl and one minute she’s sitting right Dawson: See ya on Sunday, Dad. next to me and the next, (he snaps), she’s gone. Mitch: Bye. Pacey: You know, usually when I have moments Pacey: Wait, you’re just going to walk out like like that happen, I have to change the sheets that? No father/son warning, no rules and afterwards. regulations, no impending doom shall your sainted Dawson: Hey, she wasn’t real. son misbehave. Pacey: What about the one that is real? Mitch: Good idea. Keep Pacey out of the house. (Dawson pauses.) (Mitch winks and leaves.) Dawson: What about her? (Cut to Junior assembly in Capeside Auditorium. Pacey: Well, today is the day. Dawson Leery and Jen and Jack are sitting together.) Joey Potter have been apart for months now, in Jack: If I start to fall asleep, don’t wake me, okay? fact, the whole summer has passed and the whole (The cheerleaders walk up including the head world is waiting to figure out what’s going to cheerleader, Belinda.) happen. Belinda: Jen Lindley. How was your summer? Dawson: Maybe you and the whole world haven’t Host, you know, gang bangs? heard me the last 50,000 times that I’ve said that Jen: I have a really scathing comeback right now it’s over. but I’m thinking that I should show you a little Pacey: Yeah, until she speaks to you. sympathy, seeing as the lypo didn’t take... Dawson: She won’t. (Belinda storms off with her herd of cheerleaders Pacey: I think you underestimate the healing behind her. Jack and Jen laugh. Cut to Dawson powers of time, Dawson. Time for Joey to forgive and Pacey.) and forget. Pacey: She should be here any minute. It’s the Dawson: Even if Joey came up to me today and junior assembly. She has to come! said I forgive and I forget, I wouldn’t. I can’t forget Dawson: Pacey, that’s enough, alright? that this past year has been a hellish nightmare. I (Cut to the new principal speaking.) spent it verbalizing and angsting instead of living. I Principal: Hello, I’m Principal Green. Like you, need to just learn how to exist, and question when I was a junior, I had a new principal and on things later. our first day back he stood before us and told us Pacey: Ladies and gentlemen, Capesidians of all some earnest and touching words. Words that ages, new and fresh from Philadelphia, Dawson were to usher us into what he called one of the Leery. Now, just to play devil’s advocate here, best years of our lives. This is not that speech. let’s say you go to school today and Joey comes We’re living in a different time. You children are up and starts apologizing. She does that cute little thinking like people twice your age. hair flip thing she does and locks those truly (Joey enters silently through the back door of the remarkable brown eyes of hers on you...what do auditorium and Pacey turns and glimpses her...) you do? Principal (cont.): ...The rites of passage that Dawson: I’ll tell her that it’s over. That it’s been once existed before us are now almost extinct. over and that we’re better off without each other. (Principal continues speaking...Cut to Pacey (Mitch enters the kitchen.) turning to Dawson.) Mitch: Dawson, I’m off to my coaching Pacey: She just walked in. She’s right back there. conference. Right over your shoulder... 2 Dawson: Pacey... Pacey: Principal Green seems cool. Good sense (Cut to Principal’s view of the crowd.) of humor. He was joking about that whole see you Principal: ...For example, like that gentlemen in Saturday stuff, right? the 5th row who’s talking... Dawson: I’m not sure, Pace. He seemed rather... (Everyone turns and looks at Pacey. Pacey points (Dawson spots Joey and cuts his thoughts off mid- at himself.) sentence.) Pacey: Me? Pacey: Dawson... Dawson... Was there supposed Principal: Please stand, sir. to be a second part to that sentence? Pacey: (muttering) That didn’t take very long. Dawson: You were right. I’m gonna break. I’m Principal: What’s your name, sir? gonna crumble—It’s Joey Potter at three o’clock. Pacey: I don’t suppose you’d accept Shaga Pacey: Oooh. Verra, would ya? Dawson: Get me out of here. Anywhere. (The crowd laughs.) Pacey: Anywhere? Pacey: Pacey, Pacey Witter. Dawson: Someplace Joey Potter’ll never find me. Principal: Mr. Witter. Mr. Witter I’d like to applaud Pacey: Well, for a mere $25, young sir, I think I you for being the first student I’ve met at Capeside have just the place. who actually acts like one. I hope that someday (They turn to leave and Joey looks up in time to you all will act as one. Reclaim your youth. Live, spot them heading the other way. Cut to Joey’s learn, screw up. I applaud you, Mr. Witter. house. Bessie is finishing dinner and Joey enters.) (The crowd applauses.) Bessie: Hey, Jo. Principal: Oh, and I’ll see you on Saturday. In Joey: No, I’m not Joey. I’m just the shell of her detention... exhausted remains. I swear Bessie, if I have to (Cut to the signups for cheerleading. Belinda, the work another hour for that nimrod of a boss— head cheerleader, checks out the girl signing up.) Bessie: It’s just that until the insurance money Belinda: Sally, who’re we kidding? Lay off the hot comes through, then we’ll have enough for a sitter dogs and try Four-H. That’s where they’re looking and I’ll get a job. for the prize hogs. Joey: No speech required. I remember the (The girl walks off and Belinda turns to the other bargain, if you can call it that. cheerleaders.) (Bessie sits down with Joey.) Belinda (cont.): She only came over here in the Bessie: So? Tell me everything. first place because somebody made one too Joey: We got a new Principal. many Krispy Kreme pit-stops over the summer. Bessie: Not about school. About Dawson. What (The cheerleader is upset. Cut to Jack and Jen, was it like seeing him again? watching.) (Joey looks at Bessie’s excited reaction and starts Jen: Now I know how anthropologists feel when lying...) they stumble across one of those lost tribes Joey: It was great. whose ancient rituals have remained untouched Bessie: So, what’d he say? C’mon, Joey, I spend by time. most of my conversations with a teething baby, Jack: What I don’t get is why anyone wants to be your sister could use a little vicarious pleasure. a cheerleader in the first place? Joey: He just looked at me and I looked at him. In (Jen considers the thought and gets an idea.) that split second, it was like we forgave each other Jen: There’s only one way to find out. for everything. And then, of course, we talked (Jen heads toward the sign up table. She starts to about it until we were blue in the face. Just like old sign up.) times. Belinda: Jen, what’re you doing? Bessie: I’m glad, Jo. You two are meant for each Jen: Signing up for try-outs. other. If I’m sure of anything, that’s it. Belinda: Lemme think about that... NOT! Joey: Yeah... Jen: You sure, Belinda? Haven’t you ever (Joey sighs...Cut to: Pacey and Dawson at a strip wondered if I’ve got what it takes to hold the pom- club.) poms? Dawson: I think I’m having a religious experience. (Belinda smiles.) Pacey: That would be Wendy, who is a second Belinda: Okay, Lindley. You’re on. Tomorrow at year biology student at Woodtold(?). three. Be prompt. Dawson: How on earth do you know this? Jen: Will do. (Cut to Pacey and Dawson across the room.) 3 Pacey: It’s in her bio. And, according to this, she Dawson: Number One, she was working. And you also likes small children, big men, snowboarding saw me give her my number, it’s up to her to use and the color green. it. (A waitress approaches.) Pacey: And if she does? Waitress: What can I get you gentlemen? Dawson: She won’t. Pacey: Well, I will have a couple of beers and my Pacey: Dawson, I wouldn’t be so sure of that. friend here will have a tall glass of milk. Dawson: What is the likelihood of someone of (Dawson smirks and the waitress walks off.) that degree of life experience and sexual Pacey: You know, sitting here, something occurs liberation to take regard in someone who is having to me, Dawson. to take their PSATs. Dawson: What? (Dawson opens the door to his house Pacey: The meaning of life. Specifically, yours. finding...Eve in his living room.) Dawson: Not another diatribe of my manhood, or Pacey: Oh, I’d say about the chances of finding lack thereof. her in your living room. Pacey: No, I’m serious here! I just had a blinding Eve: Hey Dawson. vision about the purpose of your junior year. Dawson: Hi, um, what did you, um, I-I’m sorry, Dawson: You mean, besides the massive and um, h-how did you, um— dibilitated college anxiety? Pacey: This is excited teenage male for “How did Pacey: Yes, sometime during the course of this you get in?” whole year you are going to get laid. Eve: I thought I’d surprise you and take you up on (Dawson laughs.) your offer for a date. It was hot outside and the Pacey: C’mon, man, in keeping with this whole door was open so I let myself in. new attitude thing you’ve got going. You met that Dawson: It’s Capeside. We don’t exactly lock girl on the bus, didn’t ya? up... Dawson: Yeah, and I put her to sleep with all the Eve: Hm, interesting. What else don’t you do? talk about my ex-girlfriend, Pacey. I think it’s pretty Pacey: Oooh, (to Dawson) I need to talk to you safe to assume that I’m not going to be hearing for a second. from her anytime soon. (Pacey pulls him into the kitchen.) (The waitress comes and sets the glass of beer Pacey: Normally, at this point in the plot, the best down in front of Pacey.) friend exits stage left leaving the brand new Pacey: Thank you. Dawson Leery all alone with the mystery woman (She sets a glass of milk down in front of Dawson. in his parentless house. Then, she slides herself between Dawson and Dawson: (laughs) I’m freaking out. This is a little Pacey, facing Dawson.) too high in the too good to be true category. Pacey: You know, this is actually a group here. Pacey: I understand. But as someone who’s been Waitress (to Dawson): You don’t remember me, there before, I’m telling you, all you need now is do you? some separation. A little time to calm down, catch Dawson: Should I? your breath, and realize that you are in complete Waitress: Feel this. control of this situation. (She places her hand on his neck. He looks at her Dawson: I am not in complete control. surprised.) Pacey: Oh but you will be. Waitress: That’s right. (Pacey grabs the keys to Mitch’s boat and holds (She stands up and takes of the wig revealing them in front of Dawson.) Eve, the girl from the bus.) Pacey: The boat. Eve: It’s me. Dawson: What about it? (Dawson smiles. Cut to Dawson and Pacey Pacey: I think you should take it out for a little walking up to Dawson’s house.) spin. Pacey: (beginning of sentence cut off on my tape) Dawson: Pacey, that’s my dad’s boat. Dad being -by little Creekside village, Dawson Leery has the possesive in that sentence. once again proven successful in his endeavor to Pacey: Under the circumstances... avoid Miss Joey Potter. Although, I am starting to (Dawson and Pacey lean around the corner and question your committment to la vida loca. look at Eve.) Dawson: Why? Because I didn’t talk to my ex? Pacey (cont.): I think he’d understand. Pacey: No, man! Because you didn’t hook up with (Pacey looks at him and takes the keys and drops bus girl last night! them into Dawson’s hands. Cut to cheerleading 4 tryouts. A girl is up on stage getting ready to start. ROB: Man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were back The music begins and she starts cheering.) here. I wanted a Coke. Girl: (in the tune of ‘I Don’t Want to Wait’ by Paula (He grabs a Coke from the fridge.) Cole) We don’t want to wait, for this game to be Joey: You just happened to “get thirsty” right over, we want to root right now— when I’m standing here half naked? (Belinda sounds the horn.) ROB: I hadn’t noticed that coincidence. (He takes Belinda: Thank you! Next! a sip.) You know what, I think I’m in the mood for Girl: Um, I didn’t get to finish my cheer. a 7-UP instead. Belinda: Um, Stacy. Get a mitt, and catch a clue. (Rob gets a 7-UP and takes a long drink.) It’s your third year trying out for the Minute Girls. ROB: I’ll knock next time. Your waist line is thicker and your hairstyle is even Joey: Next time I’ll lock the door. more outdated. The only reason we even let you (Cut to Dawson on Mitch’s boat with Eve.) get this far is because we wanted to see what Dawson: What’re you looking at? lame song you picked to cheer to. Eve: You should take off your shirt. (Belinda sounds the horn again and the girl walks Dawson: --Any particular reason? off the stage.) Eve: I’d like to see you with it off. What’s the Belinda: Next up, Miss Jen Lindley! matter, too brazen for you? Jack: (to Jen) Are you sure you still want to do Dawson: No. Yes. I mean... sometimes I just think this? I was born in the wrong time. The wrong century, Jen: Are you kidding me? Now more than ever. even. (Jen walks onstage.) Eve: What? Tights and powder and a wig more Belinda: I’m sure you’ll dazzle us, Jen. I mean, your style? Or just: club her over the head and we all know how flexible you are. drag her into the cave? (Jen gives her an evil look. She grabs the Dawson: Well.... The latter choice does have a microphone.) certain appealing simplicity. I’m sorry. I guess, I’m Jen: When you see Belinda and her clique in the a little nervous. hallway, you’re desperately wishing you were Eve: How come you’re nervous? walking with them, aren’t you? You think that Dawson: The same reason you’re not. maybe if you were wearing the right shoes, Eve: Oh, but I am. sporting the latest hairstyle, and using the hottest Dawson: You are? shade of lip gloss, then maybe they’d toss a Eve: Of course. Listen, Dawson... anything that’s glance in your direction. Have you ever wondered worth anything is scary, or dangerous, in one way why they force their narrow minded views down or another. our throats? Maybe it’s because they have an Dawson: That’s a fairly extreme world view— inkling about what’s in store for them after Eve: Not at all. Without fear, there would be no graduation. Cut to 25 years from now when accomplishment. No testing of our limitations. No Belinda McGovern wakes up feeling empty. fun. Maybe it’s because her Dartmouth-educated- Dawson: Who are you? And where do you come lawyer-husband Ted has run off to Tiawana with from? her daughter’s roomate from boarding school. Or Eve: You said it yourself, Dawson. I’m a fantasy of maybe it’s because the twins, Timmy and Tommy, your own creation. call her my her first name and their live-in (Eve moves up really close to Dawson and puts housekeeper, Mom. Or maybe it’s because of her her arms around him.) 2 o’clock, 5 o’clock, 7 o’clock and 9:15 showdown Eve: I can feel your heart. Beating. with her bottle of Prozac. Her life has become a Dawson: You can? domestic wasteland. Avoid this fate. Don’t become Eve: It’s going a million miles an hour. Slow down. another cookie cutter, blonde, size 4, rah-rah-sis- Dawson: Huh? bam-boom, mindless, soulless, spineless wench. Eve: The boat. Screw these auditions. Screw cheerleading. And (Dawson slows it down.) screw Belinda McGovern. Eve: That’s better. Reduce speed. The problem (The crowd stands up and applauses loudly.) with teenage sex is that it’s something you “do”... (Cut to Logan’s Marina. Rob opens the door to the it’s something you “get done.” You’re a virgin, back room to reveal Joey in mid-change.) aren’t you, Dawson? Joey: Hey! I’m changing here. Dawson: What comes become virgin? (She smiles and moves in front of him.) 5 Eve: Everything but. Dawson: Maybe I’m just not ready. For any of Dawson: Everything but what? this. Eve: That’s what comes “before”. Eve: Ready? Dawson, I’ve known you for 48 (She kisses him. Dawson pulls away.) hours, but I think it’s safe to say that you gotta Dawson: Careful. I can’t see. stop living from the neck up. (She starts moving slowly downward.) (She starts to leave.) Dawson: What.... What’re you doing? Dawson: Don’t go! Eve: Well, if you’re not going to take off your Eve: You’re going to have to do a lot better than shirt.... that. Dawson: What’s your name? Dawson: I’m thinking about something I read Eve: Eve. You can call me Eve. once. That a man’s character is his fate. Dawson: Eve. That’s a biblical name. Eve: And? Eve: I’ll try and live up to it. Dawson: And this isn’t me, Eve. I don’t meet (Eve goes completely out of picture “below the strange girls on a bus. Or drive my father’s boat border”, if you know what I mean. Cut to the boat, without permission. Look what happens when I crashed, at Logan’s Marina. Joey saw the do. Unmitigated disaster. accident.) Eve: Well that’s too bad. Because this girl just Joey: Oh my God! Are you alright?! wants to have fun. Dawson: I..(realizing it’s Joey) I think so. (Eve leaves. Cut to Jen walking down the (Eve laughs and comes into view.) Capeside hallway, in a trance. Jack catches up Eve: Crashes are so intense. with her.) Dawson: Joey, this is Eve. Eve, this is Joey. Jack: What’s the matter, Jen? You look like your Joey: And suddenly everything comes clear. dog just died. Rob (to Joey): Wait a minute. You know this Jen: I don’t have a dog. moron? Jack: I know that. Joey: I thought I did. Jen: That’s right, you know that. (She walks back up the dock. Cut to Rob Jack: Jen...what is it? calculating damages.) (A cute “popular” guy walks by, grinning at her and ROB: Salvage charges plus yard costs plus gives her a congratulations.) carpentry and painting, I’d say you’re looking at Jack: Who was that? three-grand easy. Provided none of the gaskets Jen: No clue. I’m going to have to leave school. blew, or engine mounts cracked, as result of the Immediately. collision. Jack: Why? Dawson: Three thousand dollars? (Around her, girls giggle and say hi as Jen ROB: Give or take. continues in her trance.) Dawson: I should’ve gone down with the ship. Jen: The unthinkable has happened. ROB: No argument here. (Principal Green walks by.) (Dawson walks towards Eve, who is sitting on the Principal: Good going, Ms. Lindley. dock.) (Jen smiles.) Eve: Things could be worse. Jack: What? You’ve become popular? Dawson: That’s what they said to King Lear Jen: Worse. Follow me. before he lost his mind and his daughter killed (Jen heads to her locker and starts opening it.) herself. Or was it the other way around? Jen: It was a coup d’etat. A mutiny. A slave revolt. Eve: Come on, Dawson! No one was hurt, and Belinda McGovern has been excommunicated by you’ll never forget this day as long as you live. her brainless bishops. Dawson: That’s what I’m afraid of. Jack: Help me out here. I don’t think I understand. Eve: Everybody wants life to go smoothly. But the Jen: (She shows him the pom poms) They’re the truth is, it’s the mistakes that keep things golden ones. With the rhinestone-studded interesting. handles. Dawson: Another treacly truism and my sweet Jack: Don’t tell me they made you a cheerleader? tooth is gonna start to ache. Jen: Oh, no. Eve: Wait a second! You’re mad at me! Jack: Thank God. Dawson: It’s just...you made me crash... Jen: They made me Head Cheerleader. Eve: Made you what?! I didn’t make you do Jack: That’s cool. anything! 6 (Jack cracks up laughing. Jen throws one of her Eve: Well, I’ll get outta your hair. I just wanted to pom poms at him. Cut to Joey and Bessie out bring you this. front of Joey’s house with laundry.) (She gives him an envelope. He looks inside.) Bessie: But I thought you said— Eve: There’s about four hundred dollars in there. Joey: Forget what I said. I was lying, or at least, It’s a collection. hoping for the best. The truth is, Dawson’s been Dawson: A collection? dodging me for the past two days. Eve: I told the girls at the club the story. They Bessie: Dodging you? And then crashing Mitch’s thought it was so cute they took up a collection of pride and joy? It’s like one Dawson left for last night’s tips. Philadelphia, and another one came back. Dawson: “Cute.” I’m now officially mortified. Joey: Yeah... his evil twin. Pacey: Never underestimate the kindess of Bessie: Oh sis... strippers, Dawson. Lady Eve, on behalf of my Joey: Yet another chapter in the Joey Potter sob luckless buddy here, we gladly accept this story. Penniless girl from the wrong side of the contribution. tracks copes with a felon for a father, a slave Dawson: No, we gladly don’t. driver for a boss, and a two-timing boyfriend— Eve: Why? okay, ex-boyfriend. I keep expecting them to put Dawson: Because. It’s your money and it’s my me on daytime TV between Ivory Snow problem. commercials. Eve: You were right, I pushed you too far, too Bessie: Don’t go there, Joey. You haven’t spent a fast... summer pitying yourself. Don’t start now. Dawson: It was still my fault. Joey: At least, he could’ve told me... then I Eve: I feel responsible for what happened. And I wouldn’t feel like such a fool. don’t feel responsible that often. Bessie: About the girl, you mean? Dawson: It doesn’t matter. Joey: One look at her, and I knew: she’s Eve: Just take the money... everything I’m not. Wild, confident, blonde... I feel Dawson: I can’t. like the little kid. Always the one getting left (Pacey puts on the pair of sunglasses Dawson behind. found. He looks in the mirror. He gets an idea.) Bessie: Listen, I remember the time when there Pacey: Hang on a second...maybe these ladies was another blonde in the picture. don’t have to give of their wallets. But if they could Joey: Yeah... and look how well that turned out. give their time and considerable talents... Besides, it’s different now. Eve: I like where you’re going with this. Bessie: Yes. It is. Dawson: I don’t. (Cut to Dawson and Pacey in Dawson’s living Pacey: We’ll throw a party. Here. Tonight. room. Pacey’s reading a magazine and Dawson’s Eve: It’s genius! You’ll make the cash you need in searching under cushions of the couch.) two hours tops! Pacey: Look on the bright side. At least her jaw Dawson: It’s insane! I will not turn my house into didn’t lock. a strip club! No way! Dawson: Remind me to start cracking jokes when Pacey: Teenage boys will come, Dawson. They’ll your execution looms just hours away. Two more come for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll nickels, a shoelace, and a pair of sunglasses I lost turn up in your driveway, not knowing for sure why two years ago. I now have a combined total of they’re doing it, and arrive at your door, innocent forty-two dollars and seventy-eight cents. Even if I as children. “Of course, we won’t mind if you look sell my DVD player, I’m still close to two-thousand around,” you’ll say. “It’s only twenty dollars per dollars short. person.” And they’ll pass over money without even Pacey: Congratulations, Dawson. Next to Bill looking at it. For it is money they have and breasts Clinton you will have paid more for a certain they lack. No, Dawson. Teenage boys will come. service than anyone I know. They will most definitely come. Dawson: If I don’t come up with this money, I’m (Cut to the Leery house at night. Pacey is gonna pay with my life. standing outside with a LONG line of teenage (The doorbell rings. Dawson opens the door to males.) find Eve.) Pacey: Step right up gentlemen, with money in Dawson: Hello. hand. For you are about to enter the Leery house Eve: Didn’t think you’d see me again? Did you? of inequity. Oh and gentlemen, Chino here Dawson: Didn’t know if I wanted to. (motioning towards the muscular man) has strict 7 orders to break any part of your body that touches (Joey pulls her shirt off and stares at Dawson . the ladies, (to guy in front of line) understand? Cut back to Dawson and Joey right where we left. Alright, get up there! She moves in closer then...) (Cut to Dawson walking through his house full of Dawson: No. strippers dancing on tables. Eve walks up to him Joey: What is it? What’s wrong? counting money.) Dawson: Everything. This is not you. Eve: At the rate we’re going we’ll have something Joey: I can be sexual, Dawson. left over for Jerry’s Kids. Dawson: I know you can, Joey. But we can’t do Dawson: There’s something so not right about this. Not now. Not like this. Put your shirt back on. this. (She’s embarressed.) Some Guy: This is so freakin’ awesome! Dawson: I’m sorry if you’re hurt. Dawson (to Eve): Are you alright? Joey: Hurt? Why would I be hurt, Dawson? I hope (She nods.) you’re not delusional enough to think it was some Dawson: I’m going to go lay down. embarrassing attempt at getting you back. (Cut to Dawson in his bedroom. He lays back on Besides, if sex is all you’re about these days— his bed.) Dawson: Sex is not all I’m about, Joey. And you, Joey: Hey. more than anyone, should know that. (Dawson turns to find Joey sitting at his desk.) Joey: I am not responsible for your sexual Dawson: Hey. inexperience. Joey: Rager downstairs, huh? Dawson: I’m not blaming you... Dawson: Yeah. Less than a week into Junior year Joey: I never stopped you from being with and already my life’s in complete and utter someone else. upheaval. Dawson: That was particularly clear when you Joey: Then I’m probably the last person you want dumped me twice. to see. Joey: You had time, Dawson. There was plenty of Dawson: You’re a lot of things, Joey. You’re time for you to have all the fun you wanted. It’s not never the last person I want to see. my fault if you’re still a virgin. (Joey gets up and moves to sit by him on the Dawson: I love you, Jo. What happened between bed.) us or didn’t happen was because both of us Joey: Dawson, um, I’m sorry. Not just about wanted it that way. today. About everything. About my dad, I was Joey: (whispering) What’s wrong? What’s so wrong. However, in that total moment of wrong with me? adolescent anger and upset, I lashed out at the Dawson: It’s not you. It’s us. I can’t go through all one person who cares about me the most. Who I that again. You say it will be different, but it won’t care about the most. be. Dawson: You should have called me, Jo. Or Joey: You don’t know that. written. You should have contacted me. Dawson: Yes, I do. And so do you. Joey, another Joey: I should have done a lot of things. But I was year like last year and I can promise you, there so....ashamed. I figured I’d ignore life for awhile. will be no more love left between us. But you can’t do that forever, can you? Joey: So is there anything else? Dawson: No, you can’t. Dawson: Yes. Joey: Who is she? Joey: So you love me...you just don’t want me? Dawson: Eve? I just met her. (Dawson doesn’t answer. Joey starts crying and Joey: Are you two... exits the room through the window. Cut to Pacey Dawson: Hardly. downstairs at the rager as Dawson comes down. Joey: Did you miss me? Pacey interrupts everyone.) Dawson: You know I did. Pacey: Kids, could I have everybody’s attention Joey: Good. please? Ladies and gentlemen, and esteemed (She moves up standing above him.) exotic dancers, I’d like to present to you, the man Joey: Because I missed you, too. that made this all possible, Dawson Leery. Dawson: It’s not the same anymore, Jo. (The crowd applaudes.) Joey: It doesn’t have to be the same, Dawson. It’s Pacey: I think the preliminary results of our little a new year. It can be different. It can be better. pledge drive are in so Gino, if I could have the envelope, please. The unofficial tally of tonight’s festivities comes to $3,162! Now, you can call me 8 crazy, you can call me insane, but I think it’s time Dawson: That’s my father. Next stop at the home to open this place up to the public. What do you from hell. say? Eve: Listen, Dawson, you’re one step away from (The crowd cheers. Cut to Eve dragging Dawson the rest of your life. Get in. through the crowd.) Dawson: I crashed his boat and I wrecked his Dawson: Where are we going? house. I can’t just leave. Eve: I have a surprise. Eve: There’s nothing you can do tonight. Be Dawson: I think I should probably stay and make honest. What’s going to change between now and sure nobody burns my house down, right? tomorrow morning? Eve: And why would you do that? Dawson: Nothing...except maybe me. Dawson: Probably to avoid figuring out whether Eve: Last chance, Dawson. or not I’m going to sleep with you. Dawson: I can’t. Eve: Follow me, Dawson. And all secrets will be Eve: You know, I don’t know who’s the bigger revealed. mystery. Me....or you. Dawson: Go ahead, I’ll be right there. (She smiles and drives the boat away from the (Dawson pulls Pacey off a table with a stripper dock as Dawson stares after her. Cut to Joey and takes him outside on the porch.) sitting on her dock, crying. She looks up to see Dawson: She wants me back. Pacey rowing to her house.) Pacey: Joey? Pacey: Ahoy! Anyone ashore? Dawson: Yeah. And as we speak the ever- Joey: What are you doing here? tempting Eve stands in the wings waiting. Pacey: Well, a funny thing happened. I got in Pacey: Always comes down to this, my friend, Dawson’s rowboat and it magically drifted to your doesn’t it? The Madonna or the Jezebel... dock. Dawson: You should have seen her, Pace. She Joey: Magically drift any closer and I’ll kill you. was standing before me as innocent and as Pacey: I almost believe that. beautiful as she’s ever been and I wanted her as (Pacey ties up the boat and jumps up to sit beside much as I ever have. But, I don’t know, as large of her. She looks at him angrily.) a part of me that wanted me, there’s as big of a Joey: He told you, didn’t he? Didn’t he? part that knows that now is not the right time for Pacey: What do you think? us. Joey: I think I hate you both. Pacey: Yeah. Pacey: You’re gonna hate what I’m going to say Dawson: But I need to know she’s okay. Could even more. He did the best thing, Joey. You two you talk to her? Maybe watch out for her for a need to be apart now. couple of days? Joey: How would you know what I need? Pacey: Oh, no, no, no. Pacey: You’re probably right. I’m sure I don’t have Dawson: She needs someone. She’d never admit any idea what you’re going through. How hard it is it, but she does. to let someone go. How painful it must be to know Pacey: Dawson! Man.... that as right as you two are for each other, it Dawson: You’d be doing it for me, Pace. Please. doesn’t mean you’re right for each other right now. (Pacey nods. Dawson smiles and leaves the I wouldn’t know a thing about that. About how it porch. Cut to Dawson meeting Eve on the dock, makes you want to scream, or hit someone... or she’s in a boat.) cry. Eve: Want to go for a ride? Joey: Of all the people to see me like this, it had Dawson: Is it yours? to be you. Eve: It’s my boss’. I talked him into letting me Pacey: It’s a new year, Joey. You never know, we borrow it. could even end up friends. Dawson: I was kind of hoping that we’d Joey: Pacey, I’m upset enough as it is. graduated from the open ocean to dry land. (He smiles and pulls her closer.) Eve: If at first you don’t succeed... Pacey: Hey Potter. C’mere. Offscreen: DAWSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She leans against him and starts crying. (Dawson turns to see his Dad back.) Welcome everyone to season three. Cue ending Eve: Who’s that? credits.)

9 The Homecoming again, right? But since you are a young, virile, increasingly buff teenage male, you have certain (Pacey and Dawson are outside of Capeside High wants and desires. Enter Eve. A gift from the gods School.) of rebound high. A curvaceous vixen who is Pacey: I’m gonna explode, man. I mean, my meant for you to be explored in only a sexual insides are gurgling. Who gurgles at 16 unless manner... they’re going to explode, huh? (An arm reaches out and pulls Dawson into a Dawson: You’re not going to explode. closet, yet remaining unnoticed by Pacey who Pacey: Really? How do you know that, huh? I continues to walk caught up in his speech.) mean, some guy in Norway blew up in the middle Pacey: ...a femme fatale who’s entire genetic of a supermarket last year. coding screams objectify me. I’m telling you, Dawson: Nervous anticipation doesn’t cause Dawson, if you ever find her again, do not let her spontaneous combustion. out of your sight. Pacey: Who said I was nervous? (Pacey turns around to look at Dawson, finding Dawson: It’s natural that you’re nervous, man, he’s nowhere to be found.) you see Andie in what? Less than six hours? Pacey: Dawson? Pacey: Five hours, twenty minutes if the traffic’s (Cut to Dawson and Eve making out in a janitor’s right. (Holds his stomach) I guess I’m a little closet. They pull away.) nervous but what do you expect? Dawson: Eve? Dawson: Is your dad still letting you pick her up? Eve: Morning, Dawson. Welcome to school. Pacey: Absolutely. This train cuts at lunch. (Cue opening credits. Cut back to Dawson and Dawson: Need some company? Eve in the janitor’s closet.) Pacey: Actually, Joey’s going to come with me. Dawson: What are you doing here? She wanted to see Andie and per our Eve: At eleven I’m popping out of a cake for Mr. conversation last week— Sax in AP History. (pauses) Duh, I’m, like, a Dawson: Absolutely. Nobody welcomes a Potter- student. Witter détente more than me. I’m glad she has Dawson: You are not. somebody. It’ll only help as Joey and I weave our Eve: What? You’ve never seen a senior girl up separate ways through these pathless woods we close before? call life. Dawson: I’ve seen plenty of senior girls but none Pacey: Speaking of wood, Dawson, whatever of them look like you. Plus, you must be at least— happened with a certain busgirl? Eve: Watch it. Dawson: Don’t ask. She vanished. Disappeared. Dawson: ...Older than I am. Jonathan Krakauer-ed into thin air. Eve: I thought you’d be more excited about my Pacey: You let her get away?! sudden appearance. Dawson: I had a slightly irate father to answer to, Dawson: I am excited. It’s just they’re usually Pacey. It’s my life, you know? followed by an equally sudden disappearance. I Pacey: So what’s happened since? mean, Who are you, Eve? First you’re this Dawson: With Eve? I haven’t been able to find stunning passenger on my bus, striking up her. conversation, then you’re wearing a wig, serving Pacey: Did you check down at the strip joint? cocktails at the strip club—now you’re a senior at Dawson: Embarrassingly, yes. Turns out she my high school. doesn’t even work there anymore. She was a Eve: You’ve got it all wrong, Dawson. I’m none of temp. those things. I’m just a girl...standing in a janitor’s Pacey: Strip joints have temps? closet...asking you to kiss her. (By now, Dawson and Pacey have entered the (They start kissing then the bell rings.) school and are walking down a hallway.) Eve: Late for bio. See ya. Dawson: The only information I have about her is (She leaves and Dawson tries to follow after her, her first name and who knows if that’s for real. tripping over a mop.) Pacey: Well, that’s too bad, Dawson because Eve Dawson: Wait! Can I get a last name this time? was the ultimate transitional woman. (He stumbles out of the closet right into Principal Dawson: How do you figure? Green and his father.) Pacey: Well, you are coming off of a emotionally Mitch: Hey! It’s ‘Leery’ but you can call me ‘Dad.’ traumatic, life-altering relationship and the last The principal and I were just talking about you. thing you need to do is get emotionally involved We are in need of an honest student. 10 Dawson: Okay? Jack: Why can’t you just admit that you’re afraid? Principal: The pep rally is tomorrow and in our You can’t deal with having a gay son and me view’s a critical event in setting the home for this doing that around would be just that. football season. Mr.McPhee: Must you assume that every decision Mitch: And in light of the Minutemen having such I make is based upon my lack of character? bad luck the past few years and in light of me Jack: No, just the ones that concern me. Well, being the coach— since this is still my home I suggest that you Principal: We thought we would revolutionize leave. this. Set this pep rally apart from all the other (Cut to Pacey at psychiactric facility Andie has ones. been all summer. He’s talking to the nurse at the Mitch: So what do you think? front desk.) Dawson: Sounds good? Nurse: Andie McPhee is scheduled to be Principal: I’ll need your help. I’ll see you in my released tomorrow not today. office at three. Pacey: That’s why it’s a surprise. Dawson: Wait, but! Nurse: We try to avoid surprises. The only way Mitch: Very wise of you to help out, son, in light of she leaves today is with her own written consent. the fact that you owe me. Pacey: Which I will get if you let me walk in (They walk away leaving Dawson in the halls.) through the door and talk to her. Dawson: This is so not my day. Nurse: And that will be tomorrow at 9am when (Cut to Grams, Jack, and Mr. McPhee on Grams’ visiting hours resume and not a minute earlier. porch.) Pacey: You’ve gotta be kidding me. Mr.McPhee: I can’t thank you enough. Nurse: Does this look like a face that kids? Grams: After a year with Jennifer, having Jack (Cut to Pacey walking towards Joey sitting on the was like boarding Saint Francis. truck.) Jack: When does Andie get in? Pacey: This is ridiculous. Mr.McPhee: Tonight. Pacey wanted to surprise Joey: What happened? her and bring her home early. Pacey: Well, the clinic doesn’t allow visitors after Grams: She’s made a full recovery, then? hours so subsequently I can’t talk to Andie Mr.McPhee: That’s what the doctors say, but they subsequently I can’t get her permission to take like to remind you that with mental illness, you’re her home. never out of the woods. (Joey nods. Then holds out her hand motioning Grams: Well, you’ve given her an excellent for Pacey to grab it and help her down.) chance by moving your business this way so that Pacey: What? she can stay in Capeside. Joey: Follow me. Jack: Yeah, about that, Dad. I was wondering if (Cut to Joey talking to the Nurse.) we could wait til the weekend to move all my stuff Joey: You don’t understand. I have to see a back into the house.... doctor immediately. Mr.McPhee: Actually, that’s what I’ve come to talk Nurse: This is a private care facility. Unless it is a to you about. medical emergency, we do not take walk-ins. Grams: Why don’t I leave you two alone? Joey: This is a moral injustice—I have psychiatric (She leaves.) concerns! Mr.McPhee: I was...thinking...that perhaps....it Nurse: Well, obviously. would be better for you to stay here for awhile...as Joey: Fine, if that’s the way it is, then you’ll just long as it’s alright for Mrs. Ryan... have to do. Jack: You don’t want me home? Nurse: Excuse me? Mr.McPhee: You have a situation that works for (Joey moves her stuff and sits up on her desk, you. I don’t think it’s wise to disturb that. leaning against a wall.) Jack: What you mean is that you have a situation Joey: Well, somebody’s got to listen to me. I’ve that works for you... had a tough life, lady and I have a lot to talk Mr.McPhee: The changes that you are going to about. It all started when I fell in love with this boy make in your life now, the changes you have down the creek, that was after my mother died of every right to make, would be too difficult with me cancer but before my father went to jail for the around. second time. (With her other hand, she motions Pacey to crawl by the receptionist) The boy’s name was Dawson. He was your typical, 11 overanalytical, adorable teenager who happened Eve: Sex. Sex turns me on, Dawson. to be my best friend... Dawson: It tends to do that to people. (Cut to Dawson sitting in Principal Green’s office.) Eve: And you would know...how? Dawson: That’s propaganda. Dawson: I’ll choose to ignore that slight. Principal: In a word, yes. But it’s the only choice Eve: Maybe it wasn’t a slight...maybe it was an we have of getting people into those seats. Listen, invitation. all I need right now is for someone to recut this Dawson: What are you suggesting? footage and put it into some kind of promotional Eve: Only the obvious. A night of scorching hot, film for tomorrow. Now, your father says that unbridled, mind-altering sex. you’re the man for the job. Dawson: Just like that? No first date, no months Dawson: Footage of what? of getting to know each other? Principal: Our Minutemen. Fieldish champions of Eve: Those are small town rituals for small town the turf. Ambassadors of the sport. Paragons of girls. Face it, Dawson. We’re hot for each other. It athletic prowlice. would be a lot of fun. Who knows? Maybe it’ll Dawson: They haven’t had a win in three years even help you get over that certain brunette. running. Dawson: You’re on. Principal: Look, I know what the reality is, but the Eve: Good. Now I’ll take care of the time and footage wouldn’t emphasize what is, but what place...you just take care of being prepared. could be. Dawson: How do I find you in the meantime? Dawson: The Leni Riefenstahl approach. You Eve: You don’t find me, Dawson. I find you. know, the Nazis did this too. (She walks off.) Principal: (sighs) Dawson, throughout history, Dawson: This is so my day. film has been a very effective medium. Capra (Cut to Pacey walking upstairs in search of used film to get recruits for World War II, Annie Andie’s room. He finds it and opens the door to Hall... reveal Andie laying on a bed talking to a guy in (Dawson loses interest as he notices Eve outside. khakis, I believe his name is Marc.) The principal continues until Dawson interrupts.) Andie: Pacey, oh my God, what are you doing Dawson: I’ll do it, I’ll do it—can I go now? here? (He grabs his books and stuff and runs out the (Pacey runs and picks her up.) door to catch up to Eve.) Pacey: I came to surprise ya! Eve: Slow down, Mr. Brown. Andie: Yeah, okay! Yeah. (She notices Marc still Dawson: I’m warning you—this is the last time I’m there.) Oh, um, Pacey this is Marc, Marc this is a going to chase you, I spent a year chasing after a big surprise.... woman and it’s a very bad habit and I don’t plan (They shake hands and greet each other.) on getting into it again. Andie: I thought my dad said he was going to pick Eve: Oh, so you’re one of those, are you? me up tomorrow. Dawson: One of whom? Pacey: Yeah, I know but we thought, well, I Eve: You know, one of those guys who spend the thought— rest of their life comparing every relationship to (Andie shrugs it off and nervously laughs.) their first one? Marc: Well, it’s dinner time. I’ll come back... Dawson: That isn’t--- not entirely true. Andie: Bye Marc. Eve: Oh, so you’re completely over her? Marc: We’ll talk soon, though. Dawson: Over who? Andie: Yeah, we will. Eve: Nice try—the brunette it took you all of five (Marc leaves and Joey’s in the doorway.) minutes to bring up on the bus? Joey: Andie! Dawson: Okay, I motion for a change of subject. Andie: Oh! Joey! You came, too! Eve: Motion denied. Are you or are you not over Joey: Yeah, but if we don’t leave soon they’re your ex-flame? going to make me stay. Dawson: Yes. I’m over her. (Andie’s confused.) Eve: Nope. Don’t buy it. Pacey: Yeah, guess we should get you packed Dawson: Then why did you even ask? up, huh? Eve: To see if you’d be honest with me, you Andie: Right... weren’t. I like that. (She moves to start getting her things and Pacey Dawson: You like dishonesty? What else turns gives Joey a look to signal that he knows you on? Greed and corruption? something is up. Cut to cheerleading practice.) 12 Cheerleaders: 1, 2, 3, 4, we don’t care if we don’t (Henry starts running laps. Cut back to Jack and score, 5, 6, 7, 8, a few points would be really Jen. Yet another football spirals towards them.) great, that’s alright, that’s okay, you’re going to Jen: Ahh! Look out! work for us someday. Gooooo Capeside! (Jack catches it once again and tosses it back. (Jack and Jen have been watching.) Mitch stares at him. Cut to Dawson in the line at a Jen: What do you think? supermarket.) Jack: Jen, this is for a pep rally, don’t you think Dawson: Powerbars, advil, Polaroid film, (missed they should be slightly more... word), ah, what else am I forgetting? Oh, Jen: Peppy? condoms. Jack: Well, optimistic? Clerk: What was that? Jen: I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. Do you think Dawson: The condoms. A pack of....condoms. I want to be held responsible for killing off the last Clerk: You gotta speak up, son. vestiges of Capeside’s school spirit? I mean, ever Dawson: Condoms. since they elected me leader of their little junta, all (Girls behind him giggle.) they’ve wanted to do are these nasty, sardonic, Clerk: We don’t keep them behind the counter self-aware cheers. What’s worse is they’ve even anymore. CONDOMS, AISLE 6! started to dress like me. It’s like they’re genetically (Cut to Dawson staring at a wall of different kinds predisposed to having any unique identity. of condoms. A man walks up beside him.) Jack: That’s a blonde gene. Dawson: This is worse than breakfast cereals. Jen: Not funny. Man: Big night or are you just stocking up? (Suddenly, a football flies over by them.) Dawson: Um, a little of both. Jen: Watch it! Man: Well, your prophylactic purchases have (Jack catches it.) never been more difficult. It used to be that they Mitch (from the field): This isn’t fan appreciation just had two kinds. Regular, and for those of us day, we’re not giving the balls away! who needed it, the magnum. (Cut to Henry, a freshman, begging to get in.) Dawson: (very uncomfortable) Huh. Henry: C’mon, coach! Let me in. His arm blows Man: These days (places his arm around out there. Dawson) you got your ribbed, your non-ribbed, Mitch: Power down, Henry. your lubricated, your non-lubricated, your thin, Henry: They’re killing us out there! your extra thin, sheepskin, extra sensitive, and Mitch: We’re running play-action patterns against now you’ve got your glow in the darks. ourselves! No one is killing us! (Another man joins them.) (Cut back to Jen and Jack.) Man #2: Glow in the darks don’t work. Jen: I thought you weren’t sure yet about whether Man: No kidding? or not you wanted to go home... Man #2: Nah, you got to hold them up to the light Jack: I know, but the point is, he should have for 20 minutes. Who’s got time for that? asked me. (A woman joins them.) (Another football comes flying their way.) Woman: And if you really want to blow her mind, Jen: Look out! try the Brown Betty. (Jack catches it again and throws it back.) (Each of the men grab a pack of those as Dawson Jack: Besides, what kind of father doesn’t want stares in disbelief at the situation.) his son to live with him anyway? Dawson: This is not happening. Jen: Trust me, been there. (Cut to Pacey, Joey, and Andie carrying her boxes Jack: At least you have Grams. out to the car.) Jen: So do you, and me. Pacey: Marc seems like a pretty nice guy. What’s (Cut back to Mitch and Henry arguing.) he in here for anyway? Henry: C’mon, Coach! Andie: That’s private, Pacey. Mitch: For the last time, Henry, you’re a second Pacey: Come on, it’s just us. string freshman who’s lucky he’s not on JV. Andie: Let’s not talk about Marc, please? Henry: We don’t have a JV— Pacey: Well, it just seems a little odd. I mean, you Mitch: IN the instance, Full gets injured, that’s guys seem to be so close yet you never when you start. mentioned him in any of your letters or your Henry: What about in the instance that he sucks? emails... Mitch: FOUR LAPS! NOW! Joey: Pacey, drop the male jealousy thing. Pacey: It’s a long walk home, Potter. 13 Andie: Is that what this is about? You’re jealous? (Andie hugs him.) Pacey: How can I not be Andie? I’ve spent Andie: I missed you, too. months counting the moments until I’d get to see (Pacey comes up, pulling Jack away.) you again, and the thought of some other guy Pacey: Hey hey hey, get your hands off my getting to see you every day, and hear your girlfriend! stories, and eat dinner with you just kills me. Jack: Get your hands off my sister. (They kiss.) Pacey: (to Andie) About tonight. Joey: Finally, the reunion kiss we’ve all been Andie: What about it? waiting for so....let’s go. Pacey: Well, since it’s your first Friday back in (Cut to Mitch with the football team.) town I was thinking you and I could go catch a Mitch: Listen up! We’re going to play a touch movie and stroll right on down to our little spot. game. Now touch does not mean half ass. I want Andie: Oh, well, I was thinking we could all grab you to run hard, keep your patterns sharp. dinner tonight, you know, as a group. Ready? BREAK! Jack: Sorry, I promised Jen I’d go to that...pep Henry: Coach! rally thing with her tonight. Mitch: Yes, Henry. Andie: That could be fun! Henry: I’m second string. Pacey: Well, in case you forgot, we’re a very non- Mitch: Yes, Henry. spirited group and pep rallies are all about spirit. Henry: So that means I get to play. What about you and me? Mitch: Yes, Henry. Andie: Well, there’s plenty of time for us to be Henry: So seeing as this is my one shot at alone, I just want to be around normal people right impressing you I’d like to tip the odds in my favor. now, it’s been a long time... Call in a ringer. Pacey: Well, what am I? Mitch: Well, the team’s are divided, Henry. Jack: Well, she actually said ‘normal people.’ There’s nobody left. Pacey: You know, McPhee, if I didn’t know better, Henry: Sure, there is. I’d think you were trying to avoid being alone with (Cut to Henry in the huddle. Jack is in the huddle, me. too.) Andie: No, I mean, we can be alone after, or Henry: Tailbacks slant right, z-post on 1, Jack, tomorrow! Okay? (she kisses him on the cheek) you run ten yards out. Cut to the right, flat, look Bye! over your shoulder, the ball will be there. Ready? (Cut to Jack talking to Mitch out on the football BREAK! field.) Jack: Okay? Jack: I got a message you wanted to see me? (Cut to shots of Henry passing the football Mitch: You did a great job yesterday. perfectly to Jack, etc. The football team is looking Jack: Thanks, Mr. Leery. great. Mitch is impressed. Jack seems to be Mitch: I usually have my players call me Coach. having a good time. Cut to Pacey and Andie and Jack: Oh, no. No way, no. Joey getting into the car.) Mitch: I want you to join the team, Jack. You and Pacey: We shall be arriving at Capeside around Henry were amazing together. 10 so place your station requests now. Jack: I don’t play football. Joey: Alternative. Mitch: Well, you fooled me. Pacey: Classic rock, it is. Jack: Look, do I have to spell it out for you? (He looks over at Andie who’s staring glumly out Mitch: Yes. the window.) Jack: A gay kid on the football team. Now if that Pacey: You okay, Andie? isn’t a written invitation for ridicule, what is? Andie: Yeah, I’m just happy to be with you and to Mitch: C’mon, Jack. One thing has nothing to do be going home. with the other. (She turns back towards the window as Pacey Jack: In a perfect world, maybe. But that’s not looks at her, knowing something is definitely up. Capeside. Cut to Andie opening her locker at school the next Mitch: Look, I got this team on a (missed word), day. Jack walks up.) Jack. Nobody wanted to coach a team that had Jack: How’s the first day of classes going there, been so bad for so long. I thought, what the hell? gorgeous? It couldn’t be any tougher than the last year of my Andie: Very well, I must say. life and who knows? I might even like it. But the Jack: I missed you so much. chance of actually winning? That’s something I 14 could really use right now, and Jack? I think you Jen: Capeside Minutemen break the mold... could, too. Cheerleaders: Capeside Minutemen break the (Cut to Dawson loading stuff into his father’s car. mold... Jen walks over.) Jen: We’ve got style, we’ve got class. Jen: Not bad for a sherpa(????) invitation, but Cheerleaders: We’ve got style, we’ve got class. whatcha doing? Jen: So what if those other guys kick our ass. Dawson: Setting up for tonight, or trying to. Cheerleaders: So what if those other guys kick (He drops a bag and Jen picks it up and starts our ass. looking in it.) Jen: Go Capeside. Go Capeside. Jen: Dawson? Praytell condoms? (Dawson grabs Principal: Thank you...Minutegirls for them away.) Sorry it’s just in the list of things I’d your....candid enthusiasm. Now, it is my pleasure expect to find in your bag, condoms fall to introduce to you, the most integral part of the somewhere in between nuclear plans and crack Minutemen team. He’s the new coach, a cocaine. Curiosity begs, who is the lucky girl? substitute here at Capeside, Mitch Leery! Dawson: Privacy begs I ignore you. Mitch: Thank you, Principal Green and thank you Jen: Ever since Philly, somebody’s been whistling everyone for showing up tonight. We have a great a very different tune. team this season so I’ll waste no time introducing Dawson: It’s the Dawson Leery for the new them. millenium. The guy who’s not afraid to use the (He starts introducing them and Pacey, Andie, words “good” and “time” in close proximity. and Joey show up and take a seat.) Jen: Well, Dawson 2000, are you ready for this Pacey: Personally, I think I’ve seen enough. What good time? And I don’t mean in a Trojan kind of do you say we get out of here? way. Joey: I agree. Dawson: What do you mean? Andie: Nope, we’re here. We’re staying put. Jen: Sex isn’t a one way street. There are going (They notice Jack in a football jersey.) to be some expectations where you’re concerned. Joey: Do you see what I see? Dawson: Okay...any hot tips? Mitch: Wide receiver, Jack McPhee. Jen: I thought that you’d never ask. It’s all about (The crowd cheers.) one word, Dawson: pace. Now, most virgins either Pacey: When did this happen? go too slow or too fast. Which one do you think Joey: News to me. you are? Andie: Jen’s a cheerleader? Jack’s on the football Dawson: How would I know? team? I got sane and everyone else went crazy? Jen: Let’s say that you have an ice cream sundae (Cut back up to the stage on Mitch.) right in front of you and you have no spoon. Now, Mitch: And now for a first in Capeside history, it’s a hundred degrees out and you’re starving. starting quarterback, freshman Henry Parker. Now, do you lick the ice cream or do you bite right (Henry runs up on stage as the crowd cheers and in? he trips and drops the football and knocks into Dawson: Bite right in. Jen. He backs up looking at her. It’s obvious he Jen: Too fast. See, first you have to watch the likes her.) sundae, admire the sundae, then, just before it’s Henry: I’m sorry. about to drip, you let your lips lick around the Jen: It’s okay. It’s cool...it’s cool...it’s cool. exterior, savoring every inch. You want that (Henry bends down to grab the football and grabs sundae to last a long time...... but not too long, her pom-pons by mistake.) because then the sundae ends up all over the Jen: You got my pom-pons, though. table instead of in your mouth. But Dawson, if you (He gives them back and gets with the rest of the remember one thing, let it be this...If you don’t get team.) the whipped cream all over your face, you’re not Mitch: Capeside, meet this year’s Minutemen! doing it right. You see what I’m saying? (The band starts playing, explosions go off, (Cut to the pep rally. The band is playing, there’s confetti is everywhere. Cut to where Pacey, Andie, signs up reading ‘Hope You Score This Year’. Cut and Joey are sitting. Pacey puts his arm around to the cheerleaders doing their cheer at the rally. Andie.) Jen is wearing her cheerleader’s uniform with Andie: Frisky much? fishnet stockings and high boots.) Pacey: What can I say? Listening to (missed Jen: I don’t know but I’ve been told... word) just really gets the best of me. What do you Cheerleaders: I don’t know but I’ve been told... say we scram for a little bit? 15 Andie: In a little while. person that came to Capeside. I wasn’t the girl Pacey: Come on, McPhee. you fell in love with. My first week, I met Marc. He Andie: I said in a little bit. had been through everything I had went through (Pacey stands up, pulling her.) and more. In and out of facilities, three times, on Andie: What are you doing? and off medication since he was nine. I didn’t write Pacey: I want to talk to you and I’d really rather to you about him, because I didn’t want you to get not do it in front of the whole school. jealous—we were just friends. We’d spend our (Andie follows Pacey to the hall as Joey stares free time together, just talking endlessly, mostly after, knowing something is going to happen.) about our fears. I was so afraid, Pacey, afraid of Mitch: And now a little something different to end everything. I was scared that they were never tonight’s program, a closer look at the Capeside gonna let me out of there, or that whatever was Minutemen. broken inside of me wouldn’t be fixable. Marc—he (The screen comes down as Dawson’s video understood these things like nobody else could starts playing. Cut to Dawson behind the screen, because they were his fears too. He even had a listening and watching when Eve comes up girlfriend that he was anxious to get back to. behind him.) Pacey: You slept with him? Eve: “’The time has come,’ the walrus said.” Andie: We knew immediately afterwards that it Dawson: You don’t mean now? was wrong, for both of us. Eve: I pick the time and place, remember? Pacey: You slept with him, Andie. Dawson: Here? Right now? My video’s playing. Andie: We both agreed to just be friends and not Eve: Which is like the lamest of the lamest tell our significant others but, Pacey, when I saw excuses. you—It was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in Dawson: Good point. my life. And all I keep thinking right now is what if Eve: Dawson, let’s go. you can’t forgive me. Pacey, you have to forgive Dawson: They say that girls like you don’t exist. me. You have to forgive me. Eve: They lie. (Pacey makes a disgusted noise and turns and (She pulls him offscreen and we see his arm walks out of the building leaving Andie alone, reach out and grab the bag of condoms. Cut to crying. Cut to Dawson and Eve making out behind Andie and Pacey out in the hallway.) the screen.) Pacey: Okay, Andie, what the hell is going on? Dawson: There’s hundreds of people on the other And don’t tell me that it’s nothing because you’ve side of this screen. been acting strange from the second I picked you Eve: I know, isn’t it great? up from that clinic, and now I have to beg you to Dawson: Isn’t there a janitor’s closet somewhere spend some free time with me. So what is that we can sneak into? happening? Eve: Possibly. Andie: We shouldn’t talk about this here, Pacey! (They lean against a button panel and the screen Pacey: So, I’m right. raises slightly and the crowd is shown the feet of Andie: Look, this is not the time, okay? Eve and Dawson but the screen lowers back Pacey: Is it me? Are you trying to end things with down to normal.) me? Is that what this is about? Dawson: What was that? Andie: No! That’s the last thing I want. Eve: What? Pacey: Fine. Then, what is so awful that you’ve Dawson: That click. waited so long to tell me about, Andie? Eve: Nothing. Andie: A lot happened to me this summer, Pacey, (They continue and they set it off again this time a lot. raising the screen completely revealing Eve in Pacey: What are you trying to say? only pants and a bra and Dawson with his shirt Andie: Okay, if we are going to talk about this unbuttoned.) now then you have to promise me that you will not Dawson: That was definitely not nothing. say one word until I’m done. Eve: Dawson, relax. Pacey: Okay, go on. (She relizes the screen is going up.) Andie: No, promise me, Pacey! Eve: Whatever you do, don’t turn around. Pacey: Okay, I promise. Just tell me what’s wrong Dawson: Why? with you. (They turn and look at the crowd, which breaks Andie: (starts crying) When I went to Mayfield to out into wild applause. The band breaks into the get better, I was someone else. I wasn’t the same theme from ROCKY and Dawson and Eve stand 16 up and bow before Dawson notices Joey’s pained that, the only real thing we can offer each other is expression. Cut to Eve and Dawson after the pep forgiveness. And I couldn’t do that. Or at least I rally.) did it too late. Don’t let yourself get so angry that Eve: You’re ready? you stop loving because one day you wake up Dawson: I think I want to catch a ride home with from that anger and the person you love will be my father. gone. Eve: You don’t wanna... hang out? (Cut to Jen and Jack in the halls after the pep Dawson: Part of me really, really wants to. rally.) Eve: Just part of you? Jen: I tell you, these fishnets itch. Dawson: Eve, I don’t know anything about you! I Jack: I don’t believe you wear them. (Jack spots don’t know where you come from, I don’t know Mr. McPhee) Dad! why you’re here, I don’t even know your last Mr McPhee: Hi Jack. Jen. name. All you are to me is sex, and if I slept with Jen: Jack, I’ll see you home. you that would be the reason. Jack: Yeah. Eve: We don’t have a reason for sleeping with Mr McPhee: Jen’s grandmother called me, said I someone, Dawson. Either it’s their body or their should make my way down here tonight. I wasn’t personality, their money or their sense of humour. sure why ‘til saw you up there. Congratulations! What’s the difference? Jack: Thanks. Dawson: I guess the difference is the first time I Mr McPhee: Seeing you on that stage made me sleep with somebody I don’t want it to be for just realise I was wrong. any reason. I want it to be for every reason. Jack: How do you mean? Eve: (long pause) Your eyes. Mr McPhee: Jack, I honestly thought I was doing Dawson: What about them? what was best for you. I thought living under my Eve: That was my reason. When I first met you, I care would be too hard. That there were too many looked into your eyes and I saw such an old soul. differences between us. And when I saw you in Dawson: Thank you, Eve. that jersey, at the first time in a while, I saw myself Eve: Whitman. Thank you, Eve Whitman. in you. Dawson: I don’t suppose there’s any chance Jack: Dad, it shouldn’t take a football jersey to you’d give me your phone number. make you see that. Eve: That one you’ll have to earn. Mr McPhee: You’re right. I would like very much (Cut to Pacey driving Joey to her house.) for you to... Joey: Well, I don’t think we’ll be attending any Jack: Sorry, but no. more pep rallies any time soon. Mr McPhee: No, I figured that would be a Pacey: Probably not. response. But I needed to ask. Joey: Thanks for the ride. Jack: Thanks. Pacey: No problem. Mr McPhee: ‘Night. Joey: Pacey, you probably don’t want to hear this Jack: Night, Dad. Dad? right now, and I’m sure you don’t want to hear it Mr McPhee: Yeah? from me, but you have to talk to her. Jack: Ask me again some time? Pacey: No, not right now. I couldn’t even look at (Cut to Pacey walking towards Andie at their her right now. spot.) Joey: You have to, Pacey. You have to hear her Andie: I was hoping you’d find me here. out. Pacey: To be honest, I told myself a thousand Pacey: Why? What’s the difference, Joey, huh? times not to come. No matter what she says the ending’s still the Andie: So why did you? same. She slept with somebody else. Pacey: ‘Cause I owe you that much. Joey: You think that just because the two of you Andie: I’ve already told you how sorry I am. What were together what she did hurts more? It doesn’t. else can I say? There’s no difference, Pacey, I mean... Look, Pacey: There’s nothing else to say. she’s sixteen years old and so are you. We talk Andie: So you don’t think that you can forgive like we know what’s going on, but we don’t. We me? don’t have any idea. Look, we’re really young and Pacey: Whether or not I can forgive you, Andie, is we’re gonna screw up a lot! You know, we’re not going to be what keeps us apart. What you going to keep changing our minds and ... and did... Our relationship was like this beautiful thing, sometimes even our hearts. And through all of and I don’t think you ever realized how powerful it 17 was. You changed my life, Andie, you were that Joey: I know. It’s like that phrase, isn’t it? Can’t go person for me. You inspired me to be a man that home again. I realized that for a while. Earlier I’d only ever dreamt about being. When you first tonight... started to get sick, it dawned on me that I might Dawson: I’m sorry you had to see that. not be that person for you. I can never go back to Joey: Don’t be. I think I was meant to. In some loving you the way I did knowing that my love weird way it helped me. I mean, seeing you on wasn’t strong enough the first time around. I could that stage something inside of me clicked, and for always forgive you, Andie, but I will never forget. the first time I felt how wrong it would be. I mean Andie: But I still love you, Pacey. we... we really do need to... to move on and to Pacey: Goodbye, Andie. meet new people and to have new relationships. (Cut to Mitch and Dawson arriving home. Mitch Dawson: It’s weird as it happens, isn’t it? You still signals Dawson towards Joey on the docks. He love the person, you just stop needing them like goes up to her.) you used to. Dawson: Hey. Joey: Yeah. It’s weird and it’s kinda sad. So we’re Joey: Hey. friends, and then we are a couple, then friends Dawson: What are you doing here? again, then a couple. So, what are we now? Joey: I’m not sure. Your house is like magnetic Dawson: We’re Dawson and Joey. north. Certain nights, it just.. it draws me in. While (He takes off his necklace and puts it on her you were gone this summer, there were days I neck.) would just get in my boat and come riding past Joey: You think every Joey has a Dawson and your dock. For old times sake, I guess. every Dawson has a Joey? Dawson: We can’t go back, Joey. Dawson: I hope so—for their sake. (The camera zooms out. Cue ending credits.)

18 None of the Above

(Eve and Dawson watching ‘Felicity’ in Dawson’s Dawson: Ah, a temptress … who will test our bedroom) hero’s very moral fibre. Dawson: This isn’t exactly working out the way I’d Eve: Will he survive unscathed? Stay tuned. planned. Um, the whole point of us spending all Dawson: You know what else I hate about this time together was to actually talk, to get to television? They always cut to commercials at the know each other. best part. Eve: And then can we have sex? (Opening credits) Dawson: I’m not ruling that out, it’s just, you know (Alarm going off at Joey’s house. Joey gets up, … First thing’s first-movie night, we’re supposed already dressed, quickly puts on some shoes and to watch movies. we cut to a shot of her running through the halls at Eve: I prefer TV. school. She goes up to a door that says ‘PSATS Dawson: You’ve got to be kidding? in Progress. QUIET!’ and sees Dawson inside. Eve: Actually, no. She starts banging on the door, yelling his name. Dawson: Movies are an art form. This is just a He doesn’t hear her. Cut to Joey’s real alarm pablum used between beer commercials. going off, it was just a dream. Cut to Andie’s room. Eve: Don’t be such a snob, Dawson. I mean, a TV Andie is doing sit-ups in her Harvard sweatshirt show is just like a movie, except shorter, with with her PSAT notecards, studying) built-in bathroom breaks, and you get a new Newscaster: Good Morning. It’s 6:45 and it’s 65 sequel every week. degrees and sunny … Dawson: Sequels I hate on principle. Andie: Another glorious day on the Cape … Eve: Suit yourself. I’m hooked. Newscaster: Coming up next … as millions of (on the TV) kids around the country cram for this weekends’ Ben: When you read my paper, how bad was it? exam, we’ll talk to John (someone), author of the Felicity: It wasn’t bad. best-selling ‘Cracking the PSAT’ … (back off) Andie: (holding up book) Ah, one step ahead of Dawson: All right, you know what? Take Felicity, you, baby. for example. I mean, if you’ve seen one hour of Newscaster: … is supposed to be the most whiny, over-analytical teen angst, you’ve seen competitive year ever … them all. Don’t get me wrong, she’s pretty, but Andie: Competitive? Ha! Try this on for size. what kind of a heroine is she? She’s indecisive. Dogmatic. Synonyms: single-minded, stubborn, She’s basically paralysed by some romantic obdurate, adamant. Antonyms would be … notion of the way things are supposed to be. If (Cut to Jack and Jen walking out of Jen’s house) you ask me, she’s kind of chatty. Jen: Wishy-washy, ambivalent, umm … Eve: She’s you. equivocal. What? You thought that Dawson was Dawson: Excuse me? the only one with such a prolific vocabulary? Eve: She’s you, Dawson. Except she’s in college, Jack: No, I just didn’t think we really had to study and a girl … with our new found extracurricular activities. Dawson: … and a fictional character on Jen: Easy, tiger. You haven’t won that football television. scholarship yet. OK, your turn. Pick a card, any Eve: Exactly. Think about it. You’re straight out of card. central casting. Perfect hair, perfect skin, you’re a (Jack picks one) hero. Jack: Nonchalant. OK. The synonyms would be Dawson: Well, you obviously weren’t watching … last season, it was far from perfect. You know, (As Jack does the voiceover, we get a shot of which is in general my complaint about television. Pacey laying in his bed, asleep) It’s not reality. It’s perfection. I mean, nobody ever Jack: Carefree, languid, oblivious … blows it, or gets tested in any real way, or ever (School classroom, studying for PSAT) makes a wrong choice or a bad choice or a- Principal: OK, good. Now, antonyms. Mr. Leery! (Eve turns off the television and moves on top of Dawson: Alert, attentive, concerned. That is Dawson) provided you believe that the PSAT is a true Eve: Don’t you know that’s where I come in? You measure of intelligence, and not a culturally know, second season, shake things up. Screw biased weapon against the poor and with the status. disenfranchised. 19 Principal: That’s a good point, Dawson. cleaning toilets at the ‘dead end hotel’ for the rest Standardised testing isn’t perfect. In fact, some of my life. might say that Principal: Listen, here’s what I want you to do, I it’s designed to trip you up, mess with your mind. want you to take the night off, just to relax. Hang Generally convince you that you’re not as smart out with a friend, rent a movie, you’re gonna do as you think you are, but if you want to go to just fine. You’re gonna do better than fine. Now college, it’s the only game in town. the faculty and I, have all the confidence in the (The bell rings. Everybody gets up to leave) world in you. Principal: Alright, hang on, hang on. Now look, (Joey nods at Principal Green and smiles) don’t forget. Tomorrow, sample maths section. (Joey walking towards Dawson at his locker) OK, I need you to bring a number 2 pencil, and Joey: Dawson. your brains. Both of them sharpened, thank you Dawson: Joey, hi. very much. Ah, Joey, will you hang on for a Joey: Um, since we’ve agreed to “peace with moment, please? honour”, would it be against the rules of (Andie walking down the hallway, paying attention engagement to the study cards) to ask for your help? Andie: Belligerent … ah … crypt- Dawson: Of course not. (She runs smack into Pacey, causing her cards to Joey: Good, ‘cause I could use some. scatter) Dawson: What do you need? Andie: Ah, God is not listening to us. (They bend Joey: I don’t know, a night of mindless to pick them up and they bump heads) entertainment. Jurassic Park … or maybe one of Both: (holding their heads) Ugh! those meteorite/asteroid/atomic bomb movies Andie: Don’t worry, Pacey. This isn’t going to be where Bruce Willis or George Clooney or one of those horribly awkward “hope-boy-didn’t- someone with a receding hairline somehow mean-all-those-hurtful-things-he-said-during-the- manages to save the entire planet without breakup” moment. breaking a sweat. (sighing) I just need something Pacey: Well, that’s a relief ‘cause I sure don’t to take my mind off the test. want to play the “guy-feels-guilty-about-breakup- Dawson: You’ve really got a lot riding on it, I even-though-it-was-girl-who-had-an-affair-with- know. the-mental-patient” scene. Joey: Just my entire future. Andie: Fair enough. Dawson: Tell me when and where. Pacey: (picking up the study cards) Not that it’s Joey: How about tonight? any of my business anymore, Andie, but have you Dawson: Tonight? Um … ever heard of overpreparing for a test? (Eve walks up) Andie: What? As opposed to not preparing at all? Eve: Hey sports fans! Pacey: As opposed to making yourself crazy over Joey: (grabbing Dawson’s arm) How’s 9 o’clock? something with the word ‘practice’ in front of it. Dawson: It’s just that tonight, she and I were Andie: If you want to throw away everything thinking, um … why don’t you come with us? we’ve-I mean you’ve-worked for, that’s fine by me. Joey: Yeah, I might, on another planet, in a Pacey: (resignedly) Yeah. different universe. (looking at Eve) No offence. Andie: Me, on the other hand, I am not going to (she walks off) let our little bump in the road throw me off my Eve: What was that about? chosen course. See ya ‘round! (Mitch with the football team out on the field.) (Joey and Principal Green talking in the library) Mitch: I’d appreciate some contact, people! Come Principal: You keep your wits about you, Joey, off the ground hard, tuff tuff! Put some hurt on! and you got a legitimate shot at a National Merit EXECUTE! You’re up, McPhee! Scholarship. (Jack puts on his helmet) Joey: Yeah, so everyone keeps telling me … and Henry: Alright, Jack, you can do this. Now just telling me … and telling me. remember, when you’re hit, button up, become Principal: Too much pressure on you, huh? foetal, but hug that ball. Hug that ball! Joey: (sighing) I couldn’t sleep again last night. Jack: Hug that ball, hug that ball … Principal: Trust me, I know, I’ve been there. (Mitch blows the whistle and Jack charges at the Joey: Well, I just keep thinking that if I don’t ace other football players. He only makes it through this exam, I’m going to end up making beds and the first pair before being knocked down. Mitch runs up.) 20 Mitch: How to hit, baby, how to hit! Get up, Eve: I was searching for the perfect apple. Go McPhee, you’re defacing the landscape. AGAIN! ahead, take a bite. See if it tastes as good as it Jack: Come on, Coach. Can’t you see what’s looks. going on here? They’re singling me out. Dawson: And if I do? Mitch: Yeah, but not for the reasons you think. Eve: You will forever know the difference between Jack: Give me a break, it’s obvious. good and evil. Get out here, Dawson. It’s a Mitch: Look, Jack. Let’s get this straight. You are beautiful night. still the new kid on the block, and you are not Dawson: I haven’t been out here since … since (forcefully putting the ball into Jack’s stomach) Joey and I were still- protecting the football the way you should. Now Eve: Joey? The ubiquitous brunette? The one do it again. McPhee! Three-point stand! who hasn’t yet learned the power and sway she (Mitch blows whistle and Jack makes it through holds over the hearts of men? three pairs of players before getting knocked Dawson: She lives down the creek. She used to down.) sleep over all the time, before we developed Henry: Can you hear me, Jack? Jack, do you secondary sexual characteristics. know where you are? How many fingers? Eve: I had a boy next door. Jack: I think I’m gonna hurl. Dawson: You did? (Joey at work) Eve: Doesn’t everybody? ROB: I mean, this guy’s not exactly what you call Dawson: What was his name? a ladies’ man, but I tell him, it is easy. There’s only Eve: Monroe. We literally lived in adjoining one rule. Plain and simple. Give the ladies what houses on the base. they want. Dawson: You were a military brat? Joey: How about giving me what I want, Rob? Eve: I was Army, born and bred. Matter of fact, we ROB: I thought you’d never ask. could see into each other’s bedrooms. Joey: Friday night off, so I can study for the Dawson: Really? That must have been … PSATs, they’re Saturday. convenient. ROB: Yeah, sure, why not? No sweat. I remember Eve: No kidding. Only problem is … he was my what it was like. Of course, I didn’t take the dad’s commanding officer. PSATs. (Dawson’s face falls) Joey: What? Daddy built the university? Eve: I brought you something else. ROB: No, no, just endowed it. Actually, I hired a Dawson: What’s this? ringer. Seriously. Paid some brainiac a couple of Eve: Call it a study aid. thousand to take it for me. Won me a scholarship, Dawson: That is not— too. Eve: Oh, it is. An advanced copy of Saturday’s Joey: Well, since, I don’t have that kind of cash, PSAT. thank you. I owe you one. Dawson: Why are you showing this to me? ROB: Well, here’s a thought. You let me take you Eve: Well, I was planning on giving it to you. out for a post-PSAT celebration. Saturday night, Dawson: There’s no way I can do that. you and me. Eve: Don’t be so selfish, Dawson. I mean, if it Joey: Oh, thanks, but, um, husband doesn’t really goes against your moral code, fine, but surely like me seeing other people. there must ROB: Oh, sure. I thought you were going to say be somebody you know who could use it. The you had to wash your hair. apple was a metaphor. This is the real thing. Joey: No, that’s Wednesdays. Actually, Rob, the (Dawson stares at the envelope) truth is, I’m a lesbian. (School classroom - all the gang are present, ROB: Anyone I know? So is it a date? Saturday standing around a desk) night, what do you say? Pacey: An envelope? This is why you covertly Joey: Look, would it be alright if I just said no? hushed us into a corner? ROB: Yeah, sure thing Potter. No problem. (he Joey: Pacey, read the fine print. It says ETS, as in walks away) Educational Testing Service. (Dawson reading in his room. He looks out his Jen: Dawson, this is not what I think it is? window and then goes back to his book. He looks Dawson: Think again. again and sees an apple) Andie: Oh God. Dawson: I was starting to worry about you. Jack: How’d you get this? Dawson: Does it matter? 21 Andie: Of course it matters. When we’re all seats) One sample math section coming your incriminated, and sent to federal prison, I’d like to way. know just who I’m taking the rap for. (Fire alarm goes off) Dawson: Somebody gave it to me. Principal: On second thought … all right, you Joey: A certain someone with blonde locks, and a know the drill, leave everything exactly where it is name that rhymes with Steve? and file out in an orderly fashion. Pacey: (with admiration) Oh, she’s good. I like (Dawson attempts to hang around so he can hide that girl, she’s good. the envelope) Joey: Once again, Dawson Leery proves the Principal: Mr Leery, now please. groin is mightier than the brain. Dawson: OK. (Dawson leaves the envelope on Jen: Well, I mean, have you looked inside, it could the table and walks away) be a joke, anybody can just whip up a label. (The students spill out into the school grounds Pacey: (going to open it) There’s one way to find and Dawson looks back towards the school, out. concerned) Andie: Just go ahead Pacey, wade to complete (After fire drill - Dawson is looking under the desk) your return to the halls of academic loserdom. Joey: (walking up to the table) Dawson. Pacey: Maybe you’d like to open it up Andie? I Dawson: It’s gone. mean, after all, cheating seems to be an activity Joey: What’s gone? that you’re real comfortable with these days. Dawson: It. Jack: Look, nobody’s opening anything. Dawson, Joey: Very funny (she goes to look under the just bring it back to where you got it, and none of table). us ever saw it. Dawson: I already checked. Jen: Gee, not to sound like the only typical Jack: You just left it here? highschool student here, but really, as the only Dawson: I had no choice, Green was hovering. typical highschool student, what’s the harm Jen: OK, I took it. peeking? (They all quickly look at her) Pacey: Peeking? I could have us a detailed cryp Jen: (holding hands up) Ahhh … just joking. Good sheet in half-an-hour. God! Dawson: Guys, look. Admittedly, my first reaction Dawson: That’s not funny. Pacey, please tell me was to dump it, but … you heard Principal Green, you circled around and saved all our own lives? I mean, these things are a game. And as wrong Pacey: Excuse me? as cheating sounds, I thought I’d bring it up to you Dawson: It’s missing. guys for discussion. Pacey: What? Joey: OK, morals to Dawson, come in, Dawson. Dawson: It. This is wrong. Besides, it’s the PSAT, no-one’s Pacey: (shaking his head) Uh-uh. even required to take it, let alone do well. Dawson: Uh-uh, is it missing, or uh-uh, you don’t Dawson: Unless you want to qualify for a National have it? Merit Scholarship (he pushes the envelope in front Pacey: Both … or neither. I really don’t know what of Joey). you guys are talking about. Jen: (slides the envelope in front of Jack) Or if Andie: Pacey, will you quit screwing around! you’ve been too busy getting the crap beaten out Pacey: Oh, I am not screwing around Andie. I’m of you to study. just as upset as your are, dismayed, even broken- Jack: (sliding it over to Andie) Or, if you really hearted. want to go to Harvard. Principal: (approaches the group) Ah, the Andie: (sliding it over to Pacey) Or, if a failed McLoughlan group, right here at Capeside. Oh, I relationship has put you through the emotional love an early morning debate. What’s today’s wringer, and you just don’t care these days. topic? No, wait a minute, don’t tell me, don’t tell Pacey: Or if you’ve just been too darn busy me. ‘Why is the PSAT not an oral exam?’ Well getting busy (slides it back to Dawson). unfortunately boys and girls, you’re on your own Dawson: Point is, we could all use it for with this one, so let’s do me a favour and get back something. to it. Independently, OK? Let’s go, c’mon. Principal: Alright people, let’s take our seats! (Joey at work - she is refuelling a boat and allows (Dawson flips the envelope over to cover the the tank to overflow) label. The rest of the gang begin to take their ROB: Joey, what the hell-what do you think you’re doing? 22 Joey: It’s a mistake. Calm down already. Jack: And if I quit now, I’ll most surely quit in the (Rob takes the pump from her) more important … contests of the future? ROB: (to the couple in the boat) Look, I’m sorry Jen: Exactly. about that. She’s new here. Your gas is on the Jack: Yeah, well, I’m quitting. house. Jen: OK, smartass, how about this for a reason- Joey: You didn’t have to do that. I filled the tank. you caught the ball. Now, call me corny, call me So I spilled a little. It’s not exactly the Exxon superstitious, but fate tossed you that ball, Jack. Valdez. Who knows why, but it did. Maybe you’re meant to ROB: That thirty-eight bucks is coming out of your be a well-known gay athlete who inspires others pay check Potter, and consider your precious to come to terms with who they are. Maybe you’re night off cancelled. meant to help the school actually win a few games Joey: (incredulously) What?! and develop a sense of morale. Or, maybe this is ROB: You heard me. You’re working tomorrow just the first step towards meeting someone else night. in a similar situation. You don’t know the reason, Joey: Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be? but until you do, hang on to that ball. ROB: That’s how what’s going to be? Jack: That was cheesier that your first response. Joey: Look, this is not about me messing up on (Jen goes up to him to fix the bandages and pulls the job. This is about your bruised little ego. Not tightly) used to female rejection, are you Rob? Jack: Ow! C’mon. ROB: I have no idea what you’re talking about, Jen: Never talk back to someone who could cut Potter. off your air supply. (He walks away) (Jen pats him on the chest twice before leaving) (Bathroom at Jen’s house - she is bandaging (Dawson and Eve have gone back to the school at Jacks’ ribs) night to look for the envelope) Jack: Damn, Jen! Eve: You’re wasting your time, Dawson. Jen: Geez, just try not to make any sharp Dawson: It’s got to be here somewhere. movements, alright? Eve: How do you figure? Jack: It tends to happen with a certain pain Dawson: Look Eve, could you at least pretend to striking my chest cavity. help save my ass? Jen: I thought that you guys wore pads out there? Eve: It is a cute ass, but … Jack: Yeah, well, I must have worn the placebo Dawson: But what? pads. Eve: We don’t have a chance in hell of finding Jen: Well, at least you can maintain you sense of what you’re looking for. humour through all this. Dawson: How do you know that? The test was Jack: Until it gets beaten out of me too. this table one minute, and the next minute it was Jen: Yeah. gone. Obviously it has to have gone somewhere- Jack: Sorry. Tomorrow I’m turning in my helmet. Eve: Quick Dawson! Somebody’s coming. Jen: Jack, you can’t. (They hide under a table) Jack: Yeah? Watch me. Eve: The light. Jen: Alright my friend, you want to be a quitter? (Dawson turns the flashlight off - a security guard Go right ahead, be a quitter. enters and begins walking around) Jack: OK ward, I’m not Beaver Cleaver and we’re Dawson: (whispering) Question: what would look not in black and white here. And no half-assed better on my highschool transcripts? (a) Cheating; lame-induced reverse psychology is going to stop (b) possession of stolen materials; (c) breaking me from preventing my corpse from being carried and entering; or (d) all of the above? off that field. Eve: You’re right, Dawson. Jen: Alright, alright. Mock the sentiment, but you (The security guard leaves - Dawson breathes a can’t deny the truth. When you quit something, sigh of relief) you’re telling yourself that you’re not good Dawson: About what? enough. Eve: Let’s get out of here. Besides, if you really Jack: Oh, OK. So what you’re saying is that, what want that exam package, it would be too difficult. I learn out there on the grid iron about sacrifice Dawson: What do you mean? and pain will be of infinite value later on in life? Eve: It didn’t disappear, Dawson. Somebody took Jen: Mm-mm. it. Dawson: How do you know that? 23 Eve: Call it female intuition. (Pacey chuckles) Dawson: Eve, if you’re right, it could have been Dawson: Joey, Eve has nothing to do with this. anybody. There were dozens of kids in that room Joey: Oh, no? It’s typical Dawson Leery when the alarm went off. behaviour to offer your friends contraband? Eve: Process of elimination-of those kids, how Dawson: She didn’t tell me to do anything with many know what was in the envelope? that test. Dawson: Five … six including me. Joey: You are so blinded by her covergirl looks, Eve: Who would steal something they didn’t know you wouldn’t even notice if she did. I bet when she the value of? See my point? Face it, Dawson, in offered you that test, you didn’t fire one ethical the privacy of their own room, one of your friends comment her way, did you? It’s just your friends is right now slipping a finger between the pages, who have to sit here and … and suffer through the and breaking the seal. Dawson Leery morality play. Bleach blonde ho- (The gang seated in Principal Green’s office) bag is willing to put out and you gotta audition. Principal: (yelling) One month into my tenure Dawson: Are you finished? here as principal at Capeside High and I’ve got a Joey: I could go on. national (words were cut off). It makes no Dawson: Look, I’m sorry I brought you all into difference if one of you takes the fall for this, or this, but one of us has taken the charade to you all go down together in some sort of grand another level. Here’s the deal. I’m going to leave gesture of teenage loyalty. But somebody better my locker unlocked-whoever has the test will put it ‘fess up, and better ‘fess up soon! inside by 5:30 today. (Joey gets up out of seat) Pacey: Oh, come on, Dawson. The petty thief Principal: Otherwise, you are all expelled. among us already left the crime scene. They’re Dawson: Joey? not going to return that thing now, what’s the (Joey smiles at Dawson before pulling the fire incentive? alarm switch. The noise of the alarm turns out to Dawson: To do the right thing. be Joey’s alarm - it was another dream. Cut to (The gang disperses, leaving Dawson alone at the gang in the classroom again) table) Joey: So what kind of black market booty do you (Andie waits for Pacey in the school hallway) have for us today, Dawson? Just happen to find Andie: You got a second? It’s important, Pacey. out what Microsoft will be turning out tomorrow? Pacey: Sure. Dawson: Look, I called you guys here, because I (They go into a room off the hallway) wanted to give you all-give us all-a chance to Pacey: You know, Andie, I’m really not in the rectify the situation. mood for some sort of heart-to-heart today, so if Jack: How? we could kinda cut this thing short? Dawson: Whoever stole the test needs to give it Andie: OK. back. (Andie moves behind a desk and pushes toward Jen: Well, wasn’t it already stolen, Dawson? Pacey a small box) Pacey: I love the way that this girl thinks. Andie: Consider this final negotiations. Dawson: Look, the point is, it’s missing. Pacey: What’s this? Yesterday it wasn’t. Andie: Look for yourself. Joey: So what’s the harm in just letting it be lost, Pacey: It’s … some t-shirts, (putting the cap on) a Dawson? Panther’s cap. (Holding it up) Dumbo. This was Jack: Yeah, I agree. Whoever needed was no the first thing I ever gave to you. more desperate than the rest of us, only quicker. Andie: Everything you’ve ever given me is in this Andie: Doesn’t it bother anyone what this says box. All pictures, CD’s, jewellery. It’s all there. about our group’s level of integrity? Pacey: (throwing Dumbo and cap into the box) Pacey: Well, I think I speak for our group when I You don’t think maybe this is a little harsh? respond with hearty NO. Andie: Pacey. This isn’t going to one of those Jen: I’m starting to feel like some sort of long, drawn out break-ups. You’re not dealing the psychologically abused lab rat. basket case you met last year. I have my life in Joey: You’re not the lab rat, Jen, Dawson is. order, and I intend on doing everything I can to Dawson: Watch it, Joey. keep it that way. I have a plan. Joey: Throwing parties, crashing boats, upstaging Pacey: (pumping his fist) Right, Harvard, Harvard. marching bands. Dawson, if your rope was any Ooveralez. more yanked, you’d be a church bell. 24 Andie: I wanted you to be a part of it, and if you Henry: See how I am? You gotta help me Jack, can’t, you get nothing. I’m begging you. Pacey: (holding out a picture of the two of them) Jack: You’re not … you’re not talking about who Not even memories? … I think you talking- Andie: Especially not those. Henry: A certain head cheerleader. Pacey: Fine. Well, if those are the terms, where Jack: Jen Lindley? do I sign? (Henry nods and Jack bursts out laughing) Andie: You just did. Henry: What? (Andie walks away, leaving Pacey with his hands Jack: Word to the wise: this is no reflection on on the box) you Henry, at all, but um, you’re a freshman. OK? (Jack and Henry at football practice --- Jack is You have about as much chance with Jen Lindley practising his tackles on a padded bag) as I have of making it through that chute Henry: (egging him on) All right, Jacky boy, now tomorrow. move out, now to go, you hit, you hit … work, (Jack laughs, pats Henry’s chest and walks away) work, work! (Joey at work, in the office, studying for the (Jack stops, doubled-over, panting) PSATs - the service bell rings) Henry: You know what you need? Joey: Be there in a minute! Jack: (still panting) What? (Joey goes out to find Pacey, still ringing the bell) Henry: A montron-a private word or sound. Joey: No loitering, Pacey. Everyone’s got one. Pacey: (slurring his words) Listen, I am a Jack: Really? What for? legitimate customer, and I demand some service, Henry: Something to focus on, take your mind off OK? the fact that you’re about to be annihilated by a Joey: Have you been drinking? 250 pound lineman snorting fire at you from the Pacey: (holding his arms up) Only liquor, I other side of the ball. promise. Jack: Oh, that’s great. Joey: What’s wrong? Henry: Seriously, Jack. Anything to stop from Pacey: Oh, it’s nothing that a little bonfire won’t thinking. In this sport, thought equals death. fix. (he picks up box and begins walking down the Jack: Let me ask you something. Why are you pier) You see, our friend Andie, decided that she doing this? needed to cleanse me from her life to maintain her Henry: What do you mean? sanity. The casualties were the contents of this Jack: Helping me. I don’t … box. Henry: That’s easy. Two reasons. First, I want to (Pacey trips over and the box falls into the water) win football games. And without your magic Pacey: Ahh. Hello Mr Dock. hands, we don’t stand a chance. Joey: Pacey … (Jack scoffs) Pacey: (he turns around) Hey Jo? Henry: And two is … well, well you’re gay, right? I Joey: Yeah? mean, it’s not supposed to be like a secret or Pacey: Can you do me a favour? I probably anything? shouldn’t go home like this-you think you could Jack: No. ring my dad and tell him I’m hanging here? (Henry breathes a sigh of relief) Joey: Yeah. Jack: Why the sudden interest in my sexual (Joey gets up and steps over Pacey into the orientation? office. Pacey sees that the photo of Andie and Henry: Well … there’s this, this girl, that you himself is on the edge of the dock and reaches for know. More like an angel really, or a goddess. it) Jack: (smiling) Who? Pacey: That’s my girl. Henry: I dream about her, Jack. Every night, (He accidentally knocks the photo into the water heavy dreams about, about … about her lips, her and watches the photo slowly sink) breasts, her legs. If she would just allow me near (Dawson and Eve enter the school and walk up her, just smell her sweet smell, maybe even kiss the corridor) me, or take me in her arms, deliver me from Eve: You’re like a Saint Bernard, Dawson. Loyal suffering and falsity it would prove that there and faithful to the last. wasn’t anything bad, or … or anything empty- Dawson: In about thirty seconds I’m going to hearted in this world that couldn’t be corrected. open that locker and prove you wrong. Jack: (laughing) Slow down Henry. Eve: How can you be so certain? 25 Dawson: Because I believe in happy endings, Dawson: Pacey, we’ve be friends for 16 years Eve. I always have. and I’m not stupid. Eve: ‘Happy endings.’ There’s a contradiction in Pacey: Friends, huh? Friends. (he stands up, terms if I ever heard one. staggers, and begins walking down the dock) You (They stop outside Dawson’s locker) know, that word ‘friends’, is an interesting word. Dawson: (accusingly) You’re enjoying this? (he stops and faces Dawson) It implies that you Eve: Not really. It’s just that my taste in fairy tales would actually believe you ‘friend’ when he’s usually runs more towards ‘The Brothers Grim’. telling you something. Dawson: How can you be so relentlessly cynical? Dawson: Well, you can tell me the truth. Eve: How can you be so profoundly naïve? Pacey: (word?) (he laughs) You want to know (Dawson turns and opens his locker … the test is what if find so very amusing about this situation? I not inside) mean, what I think is so really, really rich about all Eve: All is not lost my sweet prince. this? Is that you, yourself, were capable of Dawson: You know what Eve? Just … leave me stealing this test. All right, you’ve thought about it. the hell alone, OK? You didn’t throw that test away, you didn’t give it Eve: Are you sure? I can help you get the test back to Eve. You brought the test to us. back? Dawson: No! (approaching Pacey) I wanted to Dawson: How? consult the people I trusted to determine what the Eve: By telling you who took it. best thing was to do. I never thought that anyone Dawson: I’m listening. was be so weak, or so self-motivated as to Eve: Tell me who you think it is? actually swipe it. Dawson: (shrugs his shoulders) I don’t know. Pacey: Weak and self-motivated, huh? Now Eve: Yes you do. Whoever you were just thinking which one of those two colourful adjectives would of … that’s the thief. I be? Dawson: It’s not that simple. Dawson: You are who you are, Pacey. Eve: It is. Simple and obvious. Pacey: Yes I am, Dawson. And so are you. Dawson: (closing his locker) I don’t buy it. If (jabbing his fingers at Dawson’s chest) You, there’s one thing that I’ve learned from these Dawson Leery, are a self-righteous son-of-a-bitch stupid PSAT prep books is that the most obvious who cares more about his rose-coloured, defunct choice, is usually the wrong one. 1950’s belief system than the people who fail to Eve: We’re not talking about standardised testing live up it, huh? here, Dawson. Take a look at your yearbook. It’s a Dawson: Interesting choice of words, coming crystal ball. The ones most likely to succeed, from a smug, cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch who just usually succeed. And the one most likely to wind dumped his girlfriend after she begged and up in a chain gang, usually has some rock- pleaded for an ounce of sympathy! breaking in his future. Welcome to the real world, Pacey: At least I didn’t send her father to prison. Dawson, where the first person to stab you in the Dawson: No, you just made her go crazy. back is your best friend. (Pacey punches Dawson, who returns the favour, (Evening at Joey’s work. She is asleep at the knocking Pacey to the ground. Joey emerges) desk, while Pacey is resting outside. Dawson Joey: Dawson, what are you doing? (She goes to approaches) Pacey’s aid) Pacey: (still drunk) Well, if it isn’t Inspector get-a- Pacey: It’s my fault, I’m sorry. clue-so. What brings you to these parts at this late Joey: Dawson, this has got to stop. (to Pacey) hour? Are you OK? Dawson: You’re drunk. (Office at Joey’s work - Joey enters. Pacey is Pacey: (holds a finger out) You’re quick. sitting on the table) Dawson: It’s the night before the PSAT, Pacey, Joey: Here, I brought you a Pepsi. why are you drinking? Pacey: No thanks, I’m not thirsty. Pacey: I don’t need to study. I mean, I got the Joey: (handing it to him) It’s for your lip moron, in test, right? (He laughs) lieu of ice. Dawson: (seriously) If you have it, give it back. Pacey: (holding the Pepsi to his lip) I can’t believe Pacey: Oh, I wish I did, Ombre. I mean, I really he thought I took it- wish I did. But I don’t. I don’t. It’s not here, it’s not Joey: So what, Pacey? at home under my bed with my Playboy’s. It is Pacey: I thought if I’d earned anyone’s respect, it nowhere to be found. was Dawson’s. I mean, if the guy who knows you 26 better than anyone on earth thinks you’re a loser, Eve: Which one of us gave you the black eye? then maybe- Dawson: Look Eve, I accept my blame in this, but Joey: Then maybe you are one? C’mon. (jokingly) don’t even try to tell me you didn’t know what I mean, I thought you were a loser for years, but giving me this test would do. you’ve never believed me. Eve: (begins laughing) Look, if crafting me as a Pacey: It’s just, you know, when does a person villain in your little mystery is what it takes for you start believing the general consensus about to sleep at night, go right ahead. The fact is, we’re themselves? all criminals Dawson, in one way or another. It’s Joey: When it’s right. just the stupid ones who get caught. Pacey: Do me a favour? Dawson: (gets up to leave) Nice knowing you, Joey: What? Eve. Pacey: Would you tell your friend, Dawson, that Eve: (grabbing his arm) Is that how it works? I’m innocent. I mean, he’ll believe you. Someone offers you a view of human nature that’s Joey: Oh, my friend? Look, he’s your friend too. even remotely truthful, and you just walk away And you know as well as I do that he’s from them? It terrifies you, doesn’t it? That somewhere right now sulking over the gravity of wholesome Dawson Leery could be so his wrongful accusation. overwhelmingly attracted to someone so flawed. Pacey: Oh, well, good. Let him stew in his own So real. pride for awhile. (Eve goes to kiss Dawson, who moves back) Joey: Oh, we’re all guilty of that. Dawson: Eve, if the purpose of us spending time Pacey: Yeah, well, I’d never accuse him of together was to get to know each other, you know cheating. what? Now that I know you, I don’t really like you. Joey: Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure he would never (Dawson walks away leaving Eve shocked with a take the first swing at you. ‘this doesn’t happen to me’ look) Pacey: (defensively) He started that whole thing! (Football practice. Cheerleaders are singing a Joey: I’m not getting into this. song and Henry is eye-balling Jen) Pacey: (taps the top of the Pepsi, opens it) OK, Jack: Parker! C’mon, move your tongue from the so tell me? turf. (they begin to walk) I need some words of Joey: What? encouragement. Pacey: What do you think happened to that test Henry: Ah, sure thing. How’s your ribs? Joey: (shrugs her shoulders) I don’t know. And to Jack: Oh, you know, I can still breathe, but then be honest, I … I don’t want to know. again, practice isn’t over yet. (Pacey tries drinking out of the corner of is mouth) Mitch: Alright people, get your helmets on. Joey: There are certain things in life you’re better McPhee, you’re first in the chute. off not knowing. Some things you wish you never Henry: You got your montron? knew, never asked, and ah, never saw. (Jack nods) Pacey: OK, so tell me honestly, does it look that Henry: What is it? bad? Jack: Fug. Joey: On your face, any reconstructive surgery Henry: Fug? whatsoever, is a definite improvement. Jack: Ah-huh. (putting his helmet on) F-U-G. It’s (Pacey takes another drink whilst Joey laughs) the only word I’ve got in my head right now. Fug. (Dawson sitting on a picnic table near the water - (louder) Fug! (louder still) FUG! he has a black eye - Eve approaches from the Henry: (handing Jack the football) Then go with it. rear) (Jack assumes the three-point stand, chanting Eve: Did you get it back? ‘fug, fug, fug’. The whistle blows. In slow-mo we (Dawson turns and faces her - she looks at his see him burst through each pair of players. The eye) cheerleaders look on and Mitch is pumping his Dawson: Not exactly. fist, egging Jack on … he finally gets through Eve: What happened? them all, to the cheers and congratulations of Dawson: That’s what I’ve been sitting here trying team mates and the cheerleaders) to figure out. Mitch: Way. To. Go! (more cheering) Way. To. Eve: And? Go! Dawson: The only thing I can come up with is (Jen walks a few yards towards the players) you, Eve. You happened to me. You and that Jen: (clapping her hands) Way to go. Unreal. stupid test. 27 (Henry sees Jen. He runs straight at her chanting Pacey: I left the oven on. (He and Joey exchange ‘fug, fug, fug,’ before swerving away at the last smiles as he leaves) second) (Dawson is waiting outside on the school steps. Jen: (as Henry comes towards her) What the … Pacey comes out to join him) (after Henry goes past) What the hell was that? Dawson: What took you so long? (Classroom. Just about to begin the PSAT) Pacey: Ah, it’s those analogies, man, they’re a Principal: Today’s PSAT test will be two-and-a- killer. (Dawson smiles) Remind me why we just half hours long. As you know, there are five did that, again? sections: two verbal, two mathematics, and one Dawson: Because, if we’re gonna beat the crap writing. There will be one fifteen minute break. Are out of each other, it should at least be over a there any questions? All right. You people have chick. thirty minutes to complete sections- (They both walk down the steps and off into the (Dawson gets up out of his chair, walks over to distance) Principal Green) (Back inside the classroom) Principal: Can I help you, Mr Leery. Principal: (starting stopwatch) You may begin. (Dawson hands over the test) (The camera moves around the room as we hear Principal: What are you doing? the shuffling of papers as they start the test. We Dawson: (sighs) It’s a long story. zoom in on Andie, who looks around to make sure Principal: OK, if there’s no-one else- she’s not being watched, and then looks at the (Pacey gets up and goes over to Principal Green advanced copy of the PSAT … that’s right folks, to hand over his test as well) she was the one) (Cut to ending credits)

28 Home Movies

(Dawson’s bedroom. Pacey enters with a box full Pacey: That’s exactly what’s happening here of stuff) seems pretty interesting to me. Pacey: The Commodore 64, the long darts, Dawson: My mom must have taped over her (word?) robots, super-sugar crisps, the laserdisc, work. and now, back from the halls of obsolescence, the Mitch: Good catch Dawson. betamax machine. Joey’s Mom: Honey, this is Dawson. Can you say Dawson: You’re a lifesaver. Less than 48 hours to hi? pick up an expert documentary and all my mom’s Joey (as a child): Hi. old movie reels are on beta. Pacey: Is that who I think it is? Pacey: What? Dawson Leery eschewing the Mitch: This is Joey, Dawson. Can you say hi? femoral world of make-believe for the gritty Dawson (as a child): Hi Joey. realities of real life? Has the world spun off (Joey pushes Dawson to the ground and they go course? Was the Dalai Lama spotted at Black running off together) Anges? Pacey: Once a heartbreaker, always a Dawson: More like my mother’s been dangling a heartbreaker, huh Dawson? big fat carrot. The human interest story she was (opening credits) working on at the network fell out at the last (Grams’ kitchen - Jen walks out in cheerleading minute. uniform with fishnets) Pacey: And? Grams: Why do you insist in degrading your team Dawson: And she says if I can get her some raw colours like that? footage by Friday morning, there’s a chance she Jen: Well, Grams, the fishnets only come in black, could whip it into shape and be on the air that and the uh, matching leather whip, it’s on back night. order. Pacey: Hey, chance of a lifetime. That’ll make a Grams: Oh, Jennifer. guy change his vision. Jen: C’mon Grams. The entire notion of Dawson: Oh, it’s a temporary change. As soon as cheerleading is just a sexist attempt to try to I get my foot in that proverbial door, I’ll be right objectify the female body. I’m making a statement. back to the magical land of make-believe. Grams: You’re making a mockery. Pacey: I don’t know, Dawson. You’ve got an Jen: The mockery has been made. I’m simply amazing opportunity here to change your whole pointing it out. Although I got to tell you, I don’t genre. Real life stories are always more know how many more pep rallies and spirit compelling than anything you could possibly cookies I can actually stomach. dream up. Grams: Your school has an important game Dawson: Real life is interesting, but it’ll never be coming up. Right now they need your leadership, as dramatic as a well conceived narrative. and vivre. Back when I was a member of the pep Pacey: Look at everything that’s been happening squad, we relished the opportunity to show off our in your life lately. Are you honestly telling me that team spirit by wearing our uniforms to school. you could conceive of something more thrilling, Jen: Grams, I hate to break it to you, but you were more sexy, and more farfetched? Huh? All right, showing a bit more than just teen spirit. fine. Who’s your guinea pig? Grams: (finally catching on) Jennifer! Dawson: It’s Jack McPhee. (School - Pacey follows Joey whilst hiding behind Pacey: I get it. Gay kid joins losing football team, a cardboard cutout) overcomes adversity, battles antiquated Pacey: (in a ridiculously funny high voice) Like, oh stereotypes and then ends up becoming the star. my God, go team! Haa … Haa! Now if you’re going to mess with that story, you’d Joey: For a minute, I thought you’d been just be gelding the lily, Dawson. possessed by these school spirit creatures from Dawson: It’s a great story, but you can’t just can’t planet overzealous. turn the camera on and let it run. Pacey: Not quite yet, but I am thinking about Pacey: Why not? making a run for it before the pods hatch. What do (Dawson is playing one of the tapes - Mitch you say Scully? playing catch with Dawson as a child) Joey: Cut class with you? Sounds delectable. I’ll Mitch: Tennn … hut pass.

29 Pacey: What if I told you that there were a blew, my brother ran on to the field and grabbed mission to my madness? it. Joey: Are you serious? Jack: Well the dude’s got some big molars. Pacey: (in a French accent) But of course! The Henry: They’re crowns actually. Check out the monsieur in the stylish shirt requests the presence number two bicuspids. Remind you of anyone? of the Madame for a very pressing appointment. (puts his finger in his mouth to show his molars) Yeah? Jen: Hey, what’s everybody looking at? Joey: What is it? Jack: Oh, ah, apparently we’re looking at Doug Pacey: (speaking normally) Well that would be the Flutie’s old mouth piece. (Henry holds it out for surprise part. Jen to see) Joey: Just tell me Pacey. Jen: That was actually in his mouth? Well, that’s Pacey: Let me think about that-nope. disgusting. (Henry palms it) Joey: Well fine. You won’t tell me then I’m not Jack: Henry says it’s his good luck charm. going anywhere Jen: Henry needs his head examined. (Jen and Pacey: Oh little Joey (grabbing her cheeks like a the other cheerleaders walk away) baby), you are so cute. But friend to friend, Henry: What am I going to do Jack? I gotta do honestly, you should check into more of those something. Jen Lindley … her voice is the feigning disinterest classes. sweetest music. Her very name is fire in my loins Joey: No thanks. But trust me Pacey, I couldn’t Jack: Ah, just a though Henry, but next time you care less. might wanna just start by saying hello. Pacey: Well, OK. Whether or not you’re actually (Jen walking down school hallway) interested, you have about ten seconds to make Cheerleader # 1: Hey! We missed you this up you mind after I round that corning, starting morning at the spirit table. Where were you? We now. One … two … three … four (he just rounds were worried about you? the corner). Jen: Look guys, I stayed really late at that pep (Joey gives a ‘what the hell’ look and turns around rally yesterday. I have limits. to follow Pacey) Cheerleader # 1: It’s just a low iron day. Pacey: Six seconds? Six? I mean, C’mon, have Cheerleader #2: Yeah, try not to let anyone else you no pride? I though you’d last at least eight. see, ‘cause it might hurt the auction. Joey: I loathe you. Jen: Auction? (Dawson interviewing Jack at football practice) Cheerleader # 1: The silent auction. Dawson: People have been shocked by how well Cheerleader # 2: Yeah, you should be really you’ve taken to the game. Did you love football as proud. It’s like the most successful one we’ve ever a child? had. Like half the senior guys have already put in Jack: I’ve only played football for a few weeks. I their bids. think the only subject I know less about is being Jen: What are you auctioning off? gay, actually. I, I don’t know. Some things are just Cheerleader # 2: Well, the winner gets to ride in instinct maybe? on the Minuteman Mule, at the end of the game. Mitch: Well once thing that Jack has learned is Cheerleader # 1: And receive a kiss from the the importance of starting practice on time. Go head cheerleader. (she points at a photo of Jen stretch out to run your forty, and taken a tenth off stuck to a giant glass jar containing all the bids) yesterday doesn’t mean you can coast. Jen: Oh, no they don’t! Jack: Gotta go, Dawson. Cheerleader # 1: Now Jenny- Dawson: No problem. We can take care of the Jen: Jen! OK, it’s Jen. You know this whole thing Coach Leery interview. What do you say dad? just started as a bad joke, and excuse to get out Mitch: Not now, Dawson. of biology but you see what it’s turned into? I have Dawson: But dad, it’s due tomorrow. pranced around this entire school at pep rallies Mitch: Dawson, you can get an extension. Me, without even knowing what the hell pep is. I have I’ve got a game on Saturday and I need these listened to clack and paddle about car washes, guys completely focused on football, OK? (going dance-athons and dog-sitting until I think I’m going back to the football field) Keep it up! to puke up my wholemeal spirit cookies. (Football team huddled in a circle, sitting down) Cheerleader # 1: Jenny! Henry: (holding a mouth piece) He wore it in the Jen: And despite the itch I am getting on my ass (word?)/Miami game. He spit it out right after from this polyester (word?) skirt, I’ve done it all throwing the Hail Mary. Right when the whistle with a smile of my face. But you know what ladies 30 The smile has gone. I’m sorry, but there is no way some horndog trucker? Stick out your own thumb that I’m going to be sold off like some herron girl you sexist toad. to the highest bidder. Everyone has a limit, and Pacey: I am not a sexist, I am a pragmatist. OK? I’ve reached mine. I quit. (she walks off) You ever seen “A Sure Thing”? That movie (Andie walks through door at school, bumps into elegantly portrays one of life’s simple truths-that a man from Educational Testing Service, causing female standing on the side of a road, even one papers to be spilled - they both bend down to pick with a perpetual scowl like yourself, has a better the papers up) chance of flagging down a car than a guy. Andie: (looking at the papers) PTS- Joey: Since I’m the only one here with an Man: Stop! Drop that folder. Back away from the opposable thumb, I guess it’s up to me to use it. material. Pacey: (handing her the package) And here’s you Andie: Yes sir. chance. (He runs away and jumps over a hedge Man: Keep your hands in plain sight. of bushes) Andie: Are you with the Educational Testing (Joey sticks out her thumb as a car comes along, Service? and it slows down) Man: That’s confidential. Joey: (places her hand in the window frame) Hi … Andie: It’s just that I hope nobody at Capeside (looks and sees that it is Principal Green) High has done anything wrong. Broken any rules? Principal Green: Today is your lucky day Miss Compromised the integrity of the exam? Potter, need a ride back to school? Man: Passing along that information would Joey: (Looking as though she just got busted) constitute a breach of security. Thanks. Andie: Of course. Pacey: (Comes running out of the bushes holding Man: You know where Principal Green is? some leaves) Oh! Principal Green. Whoo! Thank Andie: No sir. But, before you go, let me express God you were here. In preparing for out botany my regret and recalcitrance at this incident. assignment it appears Josephine and I wandered Man: Recalcitrance? significantly farther away from the school than we Andie: Um, I mean … repentance! Repentance, had anticipated. Frankly, I was beginning to worry as in contrition, compunction, you know, (smiling) that we weren’t going to make it back by nightfall. contriteness. Principal Green: (chuckling) That’s a good one, Man: Good day ma’am. Watch yourself. (Andie Pacey. walks away worried) Pacey: Yeah, well, you know, let it never be said (Pacey and Joey walking down a road) that I’m lacking in the creativity department. Joey: This isn’t a surprise, Pacey, it’s a death Principal Green: Let’s hope you’re not lacking the march on a deserted road. calamine lotion department either. Now put down Pacey: We’re almost there. the poison oak (Pacey drops it like a hot potato), Joey: Why didn’t we just drive? and get your butts in my car. Pacey: Because, Potter, on occasion my pop Pacey: (holding open front door) After you actually likes to use his car. Josephine. Joey: So I risk my future to cut class so I could (In one of school rooms, Mitch is planning football stand in line at the postoffice and then trapse five strategies in a chalk board) miles through the wilderness carrying some stupid Dawson: All right, dad. Dad? package? Mitch: (turning around) Huh? Pacey: (whispers) Oh, God. (normally) You know, Dawson: I know you’re very busy, I just need 10 did you ever stop to think about how much minutes of your time. I’ll be out of your hair. hormonally charged energy you waste on these Mitch: Can’t it just wait ‘til after the game? I quick quips and the biting banter? Your life would promise you I’ll have plenty of time for you after be considerably more productive if you would just Saturday. take some more, ah … (tapping his forehead with Dawson: Dad, I’ve got to FedEx this thing out. his palm and snapping his fingers), oh, what is Mitch: FedEx? that? More, ah … action! If you took more action. Dawson: Yeah. To mom, at the station. Joey: Oh, what, like voluntary manslaughter? Mitch: Station? What are you talking about? Pacey: Well how ‘bout like sticking out your Dawson: The story I’m doing on Jack. thumb, huh? Mitch: Your mother wants to do a story on Jack? Joey: Oh yeah? And what else? Maybe hike up Dawson: I want to do a story on Jack. I am doing my skirt, pout my lips, strike some sexy pose for a story on Jack. 31 Mitch: This is gonna go on television. When? couple of years his cup hasn’t exactly been Dawson: Hopefully tomorrow. Dad, we talked (word?). He had to give up his dream of a about this. restaurant. His wife stepped out on him with the Mitch: I thought this was just one of your school Capeside equivalent of Ted Knight, and his not projects? exactly shining as a substitute teacher. Dawson: It is a project. Remember last night, in Joey: So if you go ahead with the story he could your kitchen the blonde-haired kid moving his lose more than a game, he could lose his self- lips? That was actually me telling you this. respect? Mitch: Dawson, this is the last thing that I need Dawson: Yeah. What do you think? right now. Joey: Well, I think that the swords that are the Dawson: Well why is that? father and son have finally crossed in conflict. Mitch: Because football is a head game. And I Face it Dawson, this is the stuff of Greek drama. can’t risk my best player, or any player for that Dawson: Yeah, but is this tragedy or comedy? matter, losing focus. I’ve worked too damn hard. Joey: Sometimes we fight out fathers, and they Dawson: (getting annoyed) Forgive me if my respect us. And … sometimes we fight them and entire future conflicts with your precious football … well, we lose them forever. You have to decide team. how you want to live your life. You know, what you Mitch: Oh, don’t be so theatrical. I’m the one with can tolerate, and what you’re willing to lose. the football-loving principal breathing down my Dawson: God, this is so important to me, but if I neck. I am trying to build something here. do it it’s gonna kill him. Dawson: What do you think I’m doing? Dabbling Joey: Well, I hate to break it to you Dawson, but in a hobby? That’s the kind of opportunity I’ve according to Freud, that’s exactly what son’s are waited for my entire life. supposed to do. Mitch: All 16 years of it? Dawson: (handing over tape) I dubbed this for Dawson: So the importance of a person’s dreams you. is measured by their age? Joey: What’s this. Mitch: There will be plenty of other opportunities, Dawson: (smiling) Something I found. It’ll bring a believe me. smile. I guess now you can call it a thankyou. Dawson: Are you telling me not to do this? (Jen’s bedroom) Mitch: I don’t have to, because know you’ll make Cheerleader # 2: (pointing) That must be dried the right choice. saliva. (Joey at work - she walks around a corner to see Cheerleader # 1: No, it’s a zipper mark from the Dawson in the doorway) pillow. Dawson: Hey. (Jen stirs) Joey: Hey. You must be lost-bimbo cove is up the Grams: Yes, that bright sensations in your eyes is creek right past brainless bay. indeed sunlight. Rise and shine dear girl, these Dawson: Save your ammunition Joey, Eve and I lovely young ladies have an urgent matter to are not on speaking terms. discuss with you. Joey: You mean you guys actually talk? Jen: I thought I told that I was finished with Dawson: Among other things, yes. I need some cheerleading? And unless one of you is hiding a advice. very large cup of black coffee under her pom- Joey: What else are dumped ex-girlfriends for? poms, I suggest you leave. Dawson: It’s about my father. Cheerleader # 2: No, we respect you decision to Joey: Father? What about him? resign from the squad. Dawson: He told me not to do the story on Jack Cheerleader # 1: Maddison has accepted the and the football team. leadership challenge- Joey: He did? Cheerleader # 2: But please, you must reconsider Dawson: Well, not in so many words. He thinks it the kiss. might jeopardise his career, his chances against Grams: Someone has bid $500. (Woodworth?). Cheerleader # 1: But they’ve specifically Joey: No offence Dawson, but doesn’t a stipulated that the kiss from come from you. nationally televised broadcast kind of overshadow Jen: I don’t care if they’ve bid the kingdom of a highschool football rivalry? Brunei, I’m not for sale. Dawson: You’d have thought. I don’t know. I Cheerleader # 1: What are we going to tell the mean, look at it from his point of view. The last children at the CCHPC? 32 Jen: The what? Jack: Because you’re sitting in a stairwell in a Grams: The Capeside Country Home for public highschool. Now unless your smoking or Parentless Children. making out, it’s cause for concern. (grabbing Jen: Orphans? The … that’s what’s the auction is Andie’s hand) Come on, I’m gotta meet Dawson, for? Orphans? check out the footage for my interview. (Jen groans, and gets back under the covers) Andie: You went through with it? (Andy at school) Jack: Yeah, cool, it went great. Principal Green: Miss McPhee, I’ve been looking Andie: Well it may seem that way today, but for you. anything could happen tomorrow to rock your safe Andie: Principal Green. little world. Principal Green: Yes. Ah, a critical problem has Jack: What? been brought to my attention, and I need to talk to Andie: Jack, maybe you overlooked something. you about it. Maybe … maybe you didn’t see every angle … Andie: What sort of problem sir? maybe you had a terrible moment of weakness … Principal Green: It’s a disciplinary matter. maybe without realising it you totally, irreversibly Andie: Disciplinary? screwed up. Principle Green: Yes. I’m unable to discuss it with Jack: Andie, it’s not that big a deal. Why are you you at length now, but you come to my office being so paranoid. Monday, we’ll sit down and go through all our Andie: Look Jack, you could live your entire live options in detail. on the straight and narrow, driving towards Andie: Options. Yes sir. something you believe in. Then what? One tiny Principal Green: Monday morning. Be there. little mistake, one little error in judgement, and the (Andie looks like she’s just been caught big time) next thing you know your car’s on the side of the (Principal Green’s office where Joey and Pacey road flipped over, wheels still spinning and the are seated) radio on. Principal Green: Now, since Mr Whitter’s attempt Jack: What the hell are you talking about? at lying to me was so creative, I’ve some up with a Andie: I’m talking about being publicly shamed, little creative response in kind. exposed for what you really are, I’m talking about Pacey: Well, coming from a just-minded soul as a life being ruined, cut short, nipped in the bud. yourself, I’m sure your punishment will be nothing I’m talking about breaking dad’s heart. but fair, sir. Jack: Dad? Joey: Well thank you, Eddie Hascall. Andie: Think about how he’s going to feel, Jack. Pacey: Where is your school spirit Josephine? His disappointment, his humiliation. I mean we are Joey: I think I left it cowering in the bushes. his pride and joy Jack. Think about hard he’s Pacey: Now that is a gross misconception. I worked for us over the years, how much he’s hurled myself upon the flames of responsibility. sacrificed, and now this, out in the open, for Joey: I hope a deer tick crawled in your ear and everyone to see. laid eggs. Jack: Just calm down, all right? I mean, it’s not Principal Green: Enough. (puts down a large like I’m still in the closet. Dad’s already knows I’m cardboard box) Honestly, I am not sure how to get gay. through to the two of you. But since you obviously Andie: I kn-, yeah, I know. I know. I just want you have an affinity with one another, here’s what I to be careful, Jack. Every action has a have in mind. (opens box) consequence. Be sure you think this thing Joey: No way. through. Pacey: Oh, that’s not gonna happen. (Jack looks confused as Andie walks away) Principal Green: (smiling) Oh, I’m glad to see (The story on Jack airs on television) we’re all in agreement here. Jack: No-one seems to care what I may or may (Jack is coming down the stairs at school talking not do off the field. to a friend when he sees Andie sitting in the Dawson: (to opposing coach) So you have no middle of the stairs) problem playing against someone who is openly Jack: Hey. gay? Andie: Hey. (Mitch gives Dawson a filthy look across the living Jack: What’s wrong? room) Andie: Nothing’s wrong. Why should anything be wrong? 33 Coach: If a kid wants to come out wearing lipstick Mitch: What are you saying? and rouge, we’re gonna infringe on him, the way Dawson: I’m saying I parent you dad. I walk in on we infringe on anybody else, it’s no different. you having sex, I give you advice. I’m the kid (Dawson turns off television) around here, and sometimes I might even act like Dawson: Well? it. Mitch: I just lost the first game of my coaching (They stare at one another until Dawson turns and career. leaves) Dawson: If you say so. (Football match - displays scenes of Jack getting Mitch: Dawson, that just went out to three million hammered by opposition players and pile-ups) people. Not to mention, you interviewed the Opposing Player: Go back to tether-ball you opposing coach. limp-wristed homo Dawson: So? Jen: This is getting ugly. Mitch: So! Two days ago nobody knew how good Mitch: (Crap pack?) God dammit. (Crap pack, Jack was, or who he is. Now the whole world crap pack.?) (to one of his bench players) Wipe knows. You might as well have gone out and our blokes down, (Lip?) takes out the end. You’re painted a bullseye on his back. (he get up and kidding, Jack, he’s getting killed out there. Now begins to walk away) run a games, DOA. (yelling) Walk it off McPhee. Dawson: You never explained that to me dad. Good man, walk it off. Mitch: I didn’t think I had to, it’s pretty damn Jack: (to himself) Walk it off. I am walking it off. obvious. You walk it off. Dawson: Not to me, it isn’t. So instead of Mitch: You all right? Buckle up, let’s go. celebrating my first professional success in the Dawson: Now tell me the truth, is this all my fault? world, you’re sitting here worrying about a football Jen: In a word … yes. Look on the bright side game. Dawson, at least when this is over, win or lose, Mitch: Hey, don’t make me out to be the bad guy you won’t be on the fifty yard line puckering your here, Dawson. Yes I’m angry, just like you wanted lips for some spoiled brat with furry teeth and me to be. halitosis. Dawson: Dad, we’re talking about a football team (Joey and Pacey are unpacking the Minuteman that hasn’t put a notch in the win column in three mule costume) years. Pacey: Just think of it as method acting. Mitch: Now what are you saying, that I’m wasting Joey: Think of it as out of the question. my time? Pacey: I’ll flip you for it. Dawson: No, but I want you to have some Joey: Not a chance. perspective. Pacey: (word?) Mitch: I can’t even discuss this with you now. You Joey: Forget it. have no idea what you’re talking about. Pacey: Fine. I’ll just cut to the chase and beg you Dawson: Thanks to you I don’t. Ever since you … (falling to his knees and grabbing Joey around took this job you haven’t spoken to me. the waist) please Joey, please, please, please Mitch: I talk to you. don’t me go out there. Dawson: Not the way you do to the guys in your Joey: Pacey. Look. I am supposed to be at work team. right now earning much needed money, but Mitch: Well, you know what, they respect me. instead, because of you, I’m standing on a football Dawson: I respect you dad. It’s just they’re more field fighting over the rear end of a mule. the kind of son you wished you had. Pacey: Fine, fine. I’m just giving you fair warning. Mitch: That is not true. Dawson, I hum the theme Joey: What? from “Close Encounters” in my sleep. I reach out Pacey: Well I tend to get a little car sick in back to you. And when we can’t find common ground I seats. give you your space. (Joey has a ‘this can’t be happening’ expression Dawson: And when I take it, you get pissed off at and puts the mule’s head on Pacey) me- (Close-up of Andie’s face) Mitch: No! I’m just trying to break you out of you Andie: Principal Green. I made a mistake. Well, a self-centred, self-righteous fantasy world long terrible error in judgement, really. I know that enough to look out for other people. there’s no excuse for what I’ve done so I won’t Dawson: Since when is it my responsibility to look waste your time, but there is an explanation. One out for you? that I can only pray that you’ll find in your heart to 34 understand. See, there’s this guy. And when I met (The opposing team line up to find all of the him, it was like, a shade going up in a dark room- Capeside team have lipstick and rouge) light suddenly pouring in. He understood me in a Henry: Try and find the homo now. way that no-one ever did our could. And then, just (Late in the game) as suddenly, the room got dark again. In my mind Announcer: Twenty-four to twenty-one with I mean. See … over the summer, I was treated as seven seconds left. The Minutemen have one last a psychiatric hospital. (starting to cry) I didn’t have chance. to stay long because I got better. But when I came (Team in a huddle) back, I had lost the guy. He was my soulmate. It Henry: Can we get a step on them Jack? One was like having an organ, my heart, literally ripped more time, what do you think? from my body. And all I could feel was cold and Jack: I think my mascara’s running. Just throw me empty, my future slipping away. And I had lost the the ball, I’ll catch it. love, and so I was determined not to lose my life Henry: Consider it done. All right, cradle out, draw and that is why I stole the test and that’s why I nine shiver, broadside option, flow and go on two, cheated. Because I wanted to try to keep it from ready? all getting away from me, and … I know that I only Team: Break! made things worse. So, now all I can ask for is (In slow motion Henry throws the ball, Jack your compassion. catches it, breaks a tackle and dives over the line. (The camera moves away and we see Andie has Touchdown! The crowd cheer and go a crazy, been talking to a mirror) storming the football field) (Back to football game - siren sounds for half time) Announcer: What a come back. Final score, Announcer: (opposing team name?) lead Capeside 27, (name of other team) 24. Capeside Minutemen twenty-one to nothing. Principal Green: That was one of the most Dawson: Let’s go. irreverent and imaginative game plans I’ve ever Jen: Where are we going. seen. Congratulations Coach! Dawson: We’re gonna score. Mitch: Thank you. (Cut to locker room) (The team go over and dump water all over Mitch) Mitch: (snippets from Mitch’s talk) Come on guys, Jen: One good deed down, one to go. you can’t let them get to you … They are psyching Dawson: Jen Lindley, once again the victim of a you out … Putting us out of our game plan … lonely heart. Truth is, we’re not moving the ball … We’re not Jen: Don’t push it buddy. firing out on defence … Such in that gut and go (Andie comes running up to Principal Green) harder … A long time ago there was a Chinese Andie: Principal Green, I need to talk to you. warrior philosopher- Principal Green: Not right now Andie Dawson: General Sunzu. (he enters carrying a Andie: No, sir, it’s important, and it can’t wait for bucket of black paint) A brilliant military strategist me to clear this up. who lived about two thousand years ago. My Principal Green: OK, what is it? dad’s been telling me about him ever since I was Andie: I made a mistake. Well, a terrible error in a kid. judgement, really. Mitch: What’s with the bucket? Principal Green: What kind of mistake? Dawson: We turn out weakness into a strength, Andie: I know there’s no excuse for what I’ve just like the General said. We’ll start by obscuring done so- everyone’s numbers, so the other team can’t find Principal Green: What are you talking about, Jack. Andie? Mitch: That might work for a couple of plays. Andie: Didn’t you want to talk to me? Dawson: That’s why it’s only phase one. Principal Green: It was Monday, I was going to Henry: So what’s phase two. discuss it with you on Monday, but if you must (Jen and the other cheerleaders enter to the know now, I’m forming a new student disciplinary whistles of the players) committee, and I want you to be in charge of it. (Back on the field for the second half) Andie: (shocked) Oh … I could do that. I mean, I Opposing Coach: All right, let’s get up there, let’s would be honoured to do that. get up there and hit somebody now, hit Principal Green: Now, what was this mistake you somebody. were talking about? Mitch: Here we go. Cross your fingers.

35 Andie: I shouldn’t have interrupted you. It’s ah, a Andie: Look Jack, I’m just glad it’s all over. I can’t mistake to be so … impatient, but I’m working on it tell you how relieved I am. Hey, so who won the sir. game anyway? Principal Green: OK. I’ll talk to you later. (he jogs (Jack gives her a ‘what pills have you been off to make some announcement, leaving Andie popping’ look) relieved) (Voices coming from the mule on the ground) (Crowd on football field is yelling ‘speech, Girl: Someone was so sweaty I couldn’t even speech’) breath. Principal Green: All right. OK. OK. And now, Boy: Well, somebody wouldn’t let me take my ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been shirt off. waiting for … the winner of the silent auction, who Girl: Well somebody forgot to open the air vents. is entitled to one ride on the Minuteman mule and, (They appear and they are not Joey and Pacey) one heart-stopping kiss from our head Boy: Well somebody forgot to mention there were cheerleader. air vents in the first place. Jen: (whispering) Ex-head cheerleader. Girl: I told you we never should have listened to Principal Green: (ignoring her) And here he is. those two slackers. (The mule gets halfway to Jen before toppling (Joey getting out of car) over. Henry gets up and takes off his helmet) Joey: This is it? This is the surprise? Jen: (surprised) Henry How the hell did you get Pacey: Isn’t she beautiful? (a run-down old boat) $500? Joey: Yeah, in a Titanic, post-iceberg sort of way. Henry: Mouthpiece. Where did you get this? Jen: Mouth-wait a minute. You sold your good Pacey: A friend of my brothers, he works down at luck, Doug Flutie memorial mouthpiece just to kiss the marina. He rescued her after the last me? (people are egging Henry on) I don’t know hurricane. The guy who owned it didn’t want her whether to gag or be incredibly touched. any more, so I convinced him to sell it to me for (The crowd start chanting “kiss, kiss, kiss”) like, two hundred bucks. When I finish with this Henry: You, you don’t have to .. if you … boat it is going to be sheer perfection. Look at Jen: C’mere freshman. that. (They kiss to the cheers of the crowd - Henry Joey: Pacey, do you know how much money and looks like he died and went to Heaven) time it will take to even get this boat to float. Jen: OK, OK, everybody go home, show’s over Pacey: Yeah. (climbing aboard) Not a minute folks, go home. more or less than as long as it takes me. You Principal Green: No, no, no. Not quite yet. We watch Potter, in a couple of months I’ll be sailing have a little unfinished business yet here. Ladies this baby around the world. and gentlemen, may I present to you your choice Joey: I hate to break it to you Captain (Stubing?), for Capeside’s 1999 homecoming queen … Miss but you can’t sail around the world in a twenty foot Jennifer Lindley! boat. (The crowd cheers. A cloak is placed around her Pacey: Sure I can. shoulders, a crown on her head, and wand in her Joey: Where are you going to put the supplies? hands) Pacey: Hey, the USS Minnow was no bigger than Jen: (to herself) This isn’t be happening. this, and they found room for all of Mr Hallow’s (Jack sitting on a bench after the game - Andie money, all the professor’s tools, all of Ginger’s comes up and sits next to him) clothes and … where do you think you’re going? Andie: See, I told you everything would work out Joey: (holds our her hand) Permission to come fine. aboard. Jack: You did. Pacey: (helping her up) Permission granted. Andie: Yeah, everything usually works out for the Joey: Thank you. Ah. best as long as you keep a positive attitude. Pacey: Now the purpose for our fore into truancy. Jack: Positive attitude? OK, is this before or after (unwraps package - holds our name plaque for I disgraced the family’s good name and forever boat) What do you say? humiliated our father, huh? Joey: True Love? Andie: Oh, I wouldn’t worry about dad, I’m sure Pacey: Yeah, it’s my girl’s name. A little high on he’s over it. He’s probably off sailing or golf or the schmultz factor, huh? wherever he is. I wouldn’t give it another thought. Joey: Acutely. But sweet. Jack: Andie, you’re making my head spin. 36 Pacey: Now remember, I told you I needed your it myself. My job is to try and help. And every now help for something. and then, fit a piece of the puzzle. Joey: With what? Dawson: You have helped me dad. Pacey: (he hands over some sandpaper) Start Mitch: I hope so. But your future, your sanding. expectations … they belong to you. Don’t let Joey: (taking it) You are so overboard. anybody stand in the way. Not even me. (They begin sanding) Dawson: You always pushed me to be my own (Evening. Dawson is sitting on a bench at the person. To think for myself. I just did what you football field. Mitch comes out and sits next to taught me. him) Mitch: So what do you say, we go home-pop in Mitch: The night you were born I cried like a baby. little ‘Close Encounters’ or something? Dawson: (surprised) Did you really. I didn’t know Dawson: (picking up football) Actually, I was that. thinking, how about a game of catch? Mitch: I think I cried for 24 hours straight. Holding Mitch: (taking the ball) Gimme that. We’ll leave you, so small in my arms, I never knew I could the football out on the field where it belongs. love anything so much, so fast. So utterly. Part of (Mitch throws it - when it comes down we are me was terrified. Raising a son is more a matter of shown the tape of Dawson playing catch as a kid faith than most people know. and also of Dawson playing with Joey - we see Dawson: So’s being one. Joey watching the tape, smiling, thinking of what Mitch: You’re right. I think I realised something could have been) today. Dawson as a child: Bye Joey. Dawson: What? Joey as a child: Bye Dawson. Mitch: That my job as a father, isn’t to give you (Ending credits) the whole picture, because the truth is, I can’t see

37 Indian Summer

(Dawson and Pacey in his room watching B&W Pacey: Mmm-mm. movie) (Pacing, Dawson looks out window and sees a Pacey: (in Darth Vadar voice and holding fan) flashlight in the window of Jen’s house - calls Luke, I am your father. police) Dawson: Pacey, you’re monopolising what’s 911 Operator: Capeside police. passing for a breeze. Dawson: Yeah, I’d like to report a possible Pacey: Oah … Dawson, this is gonna go down as robbery. one of the most abysmal movie nights ever. (Dawson goes investigating only to have the Dawson: You care to elaborate? perpetrator land on him after jumping out the Pacey: Well look around you my friend. We’re two window - it is Eve) young happening men in the prime of our lives Eve: Hiya Dawson. who can’t find anything better to do than sit in (opening credits) some sweat box in the middle of an armpit (Eve and Dawson in his bedroom) staining Indian summer, and watch old movies. Dawson: OK, explanation. Correct me if I’m wrong Dawson, but didn’t we Eve: (Dawson putting a band-aid on Eve’s elbow) used to have a couple of really cute girlfriends? Ouch! Thanks to your nosy neighbour antics out Dawson: That was a long time ago Pace, in a there Dawson, I fell down and went boom. galaxy far far away. God, I can’t wrap my head (Holding out elbow) Kiss and make better? around this film noir stuff, which is making it really Dawson: I just called the police. They’re going to difficult to turn out a paper on it. be here any minute. Pacey: Well of course you can’t wrap your head Eve: OK, I’ll spill. We didn’t want you to find out around it Dawson. this way Dawson, but me and Jen, we’re having Dawson: Excuse me? us quite the (french word). Sleepovers, late night Pacey: Well what we’re watching here is the pillow fights, brushing each other’s hair and cinema of cynicism. No self-respecting son of clinging to each other’s arms. All that groovy stuff Spielberg would feel comfortable in a morally that girls do in pretty pink rooms behind close ambiguous world populated with hard-boiled anti- doors. heroes and duplicitous femme fatales. Dawson: Eve, there was a breaking, there was an Dawson: You know, could we just reschedule entering and there was a flashlight. All that’s those (word?) jazz Pace, it’s a little too hot for missing is a ski mask. (missed words). Eve: Good God! Not even the suggestion of teen Pacey: Mmm, but this right here, this is celluloid a lesbianism can get you off my case. Can’t we just man like me can relate to. Pacey Whitter is … like, make out or something? Make (word?) nothing if not the walking talking embodiment of your queries away. the fatherly protagonist. Dawson: Eve, either you tell me your version or I Dawson: OK, Johnny anti-hero, explain to me this tell the police mine. - how can this guy not know that this woman is Eve: Fine, do what your big bleeding heart wants setting him up for a fall of epic proportions? Dawson, but here’s a filthy four-letter word for you, Pacey: Because Dawson, not all of us are as and don’t you dare blush … PSAT baby. Don’t immune to the law of sex as you are. I mean, not you remember where you were when the all of us would opt for the warm and fuzzy cataclysmic PSAT scandal of ‘99 went down? I for emotional connections over those of, let’s say a sure do. more physical nature, you know what I mean? Dawson: Is that some sort of threat Eve? Might I Most of us are just big dumb guys happy to sell remind you, you’re the one who actually stole the our souls for the slimmest chance, of gettin’ some. test. Dawson: (smiling) Can I quote you on that? Eve: And may I remind you that you that you are Pacey: Oh yeah. Whitter. Two ‘t’s’. Fun time’s the one who gladly accepted my trial offer. (knock over. All this rapid fire deconstruction is making on front door) So feel free to get all boy scouty on me weary Leery. I think I shall retire to cooler me Dawson. But you should know, I’d get quite climes, namely the air-conditioned interior of my the perverse little thrill out of making things pops’ squad car. profoundly uncomfortable for you and the rest of Dawson: Night Pace. the Sweet Valley High extras you call your friends.

38 Dawson: (opens front door) Doug. Hi. Ah, my Jen: See, that’s what’s so great about us. Sex will sincerest apologies. I just … I just thought I saw never come between you and me. someone next door, but it was actually, just ah, (Water sprinklers come on) Jen, ah, sneaking in the window so as to not Jen: Oh God. Jack, Jack, get the quilt, get the disturb Grams. quilt. Doug: You sure about that Dawson? Jack: (They run off through the sprinklers Dawson: Yeah … Yeah. laughing) Not so tough now are you, Homecoming Doug: OK then. Queen? (Dawson goes back to his room to find Eve gone) (Joey at work, mopping down a boat deck) (Jack and Jen lying down on a blanket in a park) ROB: C’mon Potter, take a break. Hydrate Jack: I saw an article in this magazine once, yourself. where they put this thing up in the sky so that kids Joey: No thanks, I’m fine. studying astronomy could track something during ROB: I insist. It would look very bad for the Logan the night, and (pointing finger at stars) I think that family if you got heatstroke on me and died. is it ri- … or maybe that’s it. Joey: (taking the offered drink) It’s nice to know Jen: What … you expect me to believe there’s you care. some sort of giant disco ball orbiting the earth? ROB: (Taking off t-shirt and throwing it in Joey’s Jack: OK, when you put it like that it does sound lap) How can it possibly be this hot at 7:30 in the kinda stupid. Maybe we should start thinking of morning? Is this going to offend your delicate getting out of here. sensibilities? Jen: I don’t think so. Not before the main event. Joey: (Throwing it back using mop handle) I’ll C’mon, we got the stars … we got the moonlight probably swoon with excitement. But seeing as … it’s perfect. though I need this job to support my sister and Jack: Yeah, right! Lying in the grass on a hot nephew, I will just choose to look the other way. Indian summer night with your gay best friend. ROB: So Potter, what do you say, you and me at That’s your definition of perfect? the movies tonight? Jen: A girl could do a lot worse. Joey: Oh joy. Is this the part of the work day Jack: C’mon Jen, I know you too well. You can’t where you get inappropriate? tell me there’s someone else you’d rather be star ROB: That depends on what your answer is. gazing with? Joey: My answer is … ask me again in two years Jen: OK, you got me. Matt Damon. when I am legal. Jack: (laughing) Yeah right. ROB: You watch Potter. Some other lucky lady is Jen: What, you don’t approve? OK, I’ll have to go going to take me up on this offer and you’re gonna with Ben Affleck then. Well, he has that scruffy, be green with envy. (indi-cred?) appeal. Well? Joey: I think I can live with that possibility. Jack: No comment. Besides, I was talking more (Rob sprays her with water) about the realm of say, possible … Henry, for Joey: Stop it. Stop. instance? ROB: It’s just water. Jen: The freshman? Joey: Stop it. Stop it. Jack: Yeah, the guy paid 500 bucks just to kiss ROB: C’mon. What, are all teenage girls as you? Go gotta admit, that’s kind of sweet. uptight as you? Jen: Jack, Jack, Jack, my naïve little pet, it’s the Joey: No, just the ones with half a brain. sweet ones that you have to watch out for. They’ll (School office - Dawson asking about Eve) run over you like a Mack truck. Office Lady: You say this girl is a very close Jack: Well Henry’s harmless. Besides, he friend? worships you. Dawson: Yes. Jen: He’s a teenage boy. He’ll worship anything in Office Lady: And yet you don’t have the slightest a wonderbra. (Jack laughs) Besides, I’m already idea where she lives? sleeping with the best looking guy on the football (Cut to strip club) team. And best friends are nothing to sneeze at. Club Owner: Oh, sorry kid, we’re closed. God, I remember when I first met Joey and Dawson: I’m not here for the titillation sir. I’m Dawson. I was so envious of what they had, all actually looking for a girl I go to school with. She that history. used to work here. Jack: Then that whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing (cut back to school office) kicked in. Office Lady: What’s the name? 39 Dawson: Whitman, Eve Whitman. Jack: OK. So, what if you didn’t have to ask her (Cut back to strip club) out? Dawson: She’s tall, leggy, blonde, genetically Henry: You mean like you could get her to ask me engineered to corrupt the male species. out? I’m so down with that feminist stuff. Office Lady: Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Jack: (Laughing) Henry, I’m good, but not that young man, but someone’s been playing games good. No. What if your first date was like, um, was with you. like (word?)? You know, fate? Two people just Dawson: What do you mean? happen to be at the exact same place at the exact (Cut back to strip club) same time. Club Owner: How old are you? Sixteen? (Cut to Dawson approaching Doug who’s giving Dawson: Yeah. out parking tickets) Club Owner: If you’re sixteen, that means you’re Doug: Dawson Leery. How are things that go under age. And if you’re under age, you would bump in the night? never be permitted into my establishment. And if Dawson: (PD?) Whitter. I was wondering if I could you’re going to school with one of my girls that pose a hypothetical? means she would be under age as well. So, what Doug: Pose away. can be take away from today’s tutorial? Dawson: I’m working on a screenplay. It’s a film (Cut back to office) noir piece with a cop protagonist and I was Office Lady: There is not, there was not, there wondering if I could pick your brain on a few story never has been, an Eve Whitman enrolled at points? Capeside High. Doug: How can I help? (Dawson looks surprised and confused) Dawson: Well I could use some help with (Highschool hallway) procedure actually. I’m stuck at the part where the Henry: C’mon, C’mon, let’s go already. hero is trying to track down the femme fatale Jack: I don’t see why we have to practice in this who’s all but disappeared at this point. Now how heat. It’s got to violate, like a thousand child would a law enforcement professional such as endangerment laws. yourself go about finding someone who doesn’t Henry: Yeah, yeah, yeah, talk to the hand. Listen, want to be found? if we’re late, big bad Mitch is gonna kick our- Doug: Well, that’s a good question Dawson. Now, Jack: Our what? part of police work is knowing who your enemy is. Henry: Don’t look. She’s coming, she’s coming So let me ask you this … who is this girl? this way. Just act normal. Dawson: She’s kind of a lost soul. I mean she Jack: Henry, when she comes over, just ask her comes off like, sort of a wild child, but I think out alright, OK, ‘cause this is ridiculous. there’s something really sweet and vulnerable Henry: It’s not that easy. You don’t know how underneath all the posturing. hard it is for me to talk to her. Look at her. Look, Doug: Laundromat. she’s like this perfect thing. Dawson: Come again? Jack: She look good in that, you should see her in Doug: Laundromat. a towel. Dawson: A laundromat? Jen: Boys, do I have good news. The ice-cream Doug: Ah-huh. man, right outside. Wanna lick? Dawson: Really. Jack: No thanks. Doug: Yeah. You know Dawson, in a small town Jen: (Holding the ice-cream out to him) Henry? such as Capeside, everybody, except for those (Henry starts to stutter then shakes his head) with questionable hygiene sensibilities of course, Jen: Mm-mm no? has to do their laundry at some point. (Henry shakes his head again) Dawson: So you’re saying you’d stake out the Jen: OK, suit yourself. (Looking at Jack) See you laundromat? later? Doug: Exactly. Jack: Yeah. (Dawson staking out laundromat. Pacey comes Jen: Bye Henry. and sits next to him) Henry: You see. You see what happens to me, Pacey: Obsession is not a pretty thing my friend. why I can’t ask her out? She gets within three feet Dawson: C’mon, doesn’t it bother you? of me and it’s like my hard drive crashes. I go pre- Pacey: What? That we don’t know all about Eve? verbal. Probably if I asked her out, I’d hurl all over Dawson: Yeah. her like that little kid from Southpark. 40 Pacey: Let me give you a little life lesson from the Joey: Don’t tell me you actually found some Whitter of (Odd/Oz/?), Dawson. highschool girl so riddled with insecurities that Dawson: Ah, God. she’d fall for your minor league Englelbert Pacey: There are some women, who come onto Humpernick impersonations? the movie set that is your life and function solely Andie: (comes out from below deck) Hey Joey! as day players. They’ll show up, they know their Isn’t this great. I was at the country club today with dialogue, they’ll hit their marks, they’ll occasionally my dad, ‘cause he’s thinking about joining, and I steal a scene or two from you, but they will remain ran into Rob. always and forever an impenetrable mystery. Joey: I didn’t know you two knew each other. Dawson: But Eve, barged into my life and stirred Andie: Oh yeah, he went to prep school with my things up, for her own amusement. brother Tim. (to Rob) So did you know Joey and I Pacey: Correct me if I’m wrong Dawson, but didn’t were friends? she try to go where no girl has gone before? ROB: Well, I had a sneaking suspicion. After all, it Dawson: Snyopsise with me. She works at a strip is a small town. club, but she doesn’t. Alright, she says she goes Joey: So Andie, where is moneybags taking you to our school, but she doesn’t. She appears, she tonight? All the way down to the Bahamas and disappears. She reappears without rhyme or back? reason. Who the hell is this girl? Andie: No. You know, we’re just going to the Pacey: OK, simmer down Dawson. This girl is movies. It’s too hot to do anything else. giving you a meltdown. (Pats him on the shoulder) ROB: Well almost anything else. God. All right, this is what I propose. You and I Andie: (playfully) That wasn’t a sexual overture take a little trip down to the video store. You want was it? film noir right? How about that one with Matt ROB: Shh, not in front of the K-I-D (pointing at Dillon, where he has that really outstanding Joey). threesome with Neve Campbell and that chick Joey: I’m all finished here. from Starship Troopers? ROB: Great. Here you go Potter, (placing money (Dawson thinks about it for all of two seconds in Joey’s shirt pocket) buy yourself something before getting up off the park bench) pretty. Pacey: Yeah. Oh hey, one more thing. My Joey: (giving it back) Save it for bail money. brother, he uh, gave you the laundromat speech ROB: OK, let’s see what this puppy can do. didn’t he? Andie: (as the boat leaves the docks) Bye Joey. Dawson: Yeah. (In the park Henry sets out blanket, waiting for Jen (Pacey laughs - they walk off toward the video - he has words written on his hand) store and catch sight if Eve buying an ice-cream) Henry: (practising his lines) What a beautiful spot Pacey: Yo. (They hide behind a fountain) Now, this is. Deputy Doug’s laundromat theory may be all well (Jen creeps up behind Henry) and good, but it’s a tad too (word?) bearing for my Jen: Henry? taste. Given my druthers, I’d much prefer a share Henry: Ah … Ah … of dad’s dissertation on how to pin a tail on a Jen: Are you OK? suspect. Watch and learn my friends. Henry: Ahh … (They follow Eve) Jen: Go once for yes, twice for no. (Joey at work) Henry: (puts out one hand) ROB: (Ringing the service bell) Ah, Miss, a little Jen: Once! OK. What’s on your hand? service here please. Henry: Ah, nothing. Jen? Joey: Very funny. Jen: Yeah? ROB: I’m serious. I’ve got my father’s C-Right Henry: You … you’re awesome. You look cruiser over there. Can you fill it up for me, I don’t awesome, you smell awesome, everything about want to get gas all over myself. I’m on a date here. you is awesome. I … I just wanted you to know Joey: So I’ll smell. (walking past Rob) Ah, you that. may have gone a little overboard on the CK-1. Jen: (trying not to laugh) Good to know. So what ROB: Wait ‘til you see her Potter, she’s a real are you doing here? cutie. About you age too. Better dresser though. Henry: Hanging … out. You know, same thing Not so uptight about showing off a little skin. I’m you are, just … just hanging, out. gonna get so lucky tonight. Jen: Actually, I’m just waiting for Jack.

41 Henry: Oh, well, Jack couldn’t be here tonight. Doug: Yeah, oh. The Stepmonks are big fans of ‘Cause you see, he had these other plans, Capeside, but only in the summer time. They important plans, so … so he sent me instead. spend the rest of their time golden year in New Jen: OK, I think I know where this is going. York City. Continue. Dawson: I ah, must of clambered aboard the Henry: Um, that’s it … that’s it. wrong boat then. Jen: Out with it Henry. Doug: Maybe you did clamber wrong. Then again, Henry: Well, I guess he thought if you were here, maybe your friend is the one we’ve been looking and I were here and we were … (both speak) here for. together, that it would sort of be like a date. You Dawson: What do you mean? know, like our first date. Doug: Couple of weeks ago somebody stole a Jen: You know Henry, I know you’re new at this speed boat from the marina and took it for a little being all of uh, I don’t know what … fourteen? joy ride. Henry: (indignantly) Fifteen. Dawson: Speed boat. Really? Jen: OK, Fifteen. Dating is a consensual activity Doug: You wouldn’t know anything about that, that usually involves some sort of pre- would you Dawson? arrangement. Next time don’t skip the part where Dawson: No. I mean, why would I? you ask me. Doug: Look Dawson, I know that you’re a good (Jen walks off) kid, but something is going on with you. All of a (Evening. It’s dark and Pacey and Dawson have sudden, you’re the boy who cried 911, you pose followed Eve to the marina where Eve gets on a thinly veiled questions to an officer of the law, and boat.) all of this somehow revolves around some Pacey: And the plot thickens, my friend. mysterious femme fatale. Which of course, begs (They both unashamedly leer at the silhouette of the question … is there something you have to tell Eve changing. She emerges and they hide as she me, Dawson? walks back down the pier.) (Dawson looks awkward until Pacey comes Dawson: (as Pacey goes to leave) Where’re you walking down the pier) going? Pacey: Deputy Doug in the house! Pacey: What, are you daft man? I’m going after Doug: (laughing) Oh, I should have known. her. That girl is in dire need of following. Wherever there’s smoke, there’s my imbecilic little Dawson: You go follow her. I’m gonna stay here brother. and check out that boat. Pacey: Doug, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a Pacey: Sure, now you’re thinking, butch. million times, despite his dapper gap clad (Dawson goes onto boat, looks around the appearance, my friend Dawson does not play for haphazard interior and comes across a photo of a you team, OK? You’re just going to have to find blond girl) another date to the policeman’s ball. Doug: Hands up, you’re under arrest! Doug: Little brother, your obsession with my (Dawson pockets the picture before turning sexuality is just … plain weird. Look, do I have to around) talk to dad again, huh? (Dawson and Doug back on pier) Pacey: Doug, it may not be today, it may not be Doug: Dawson Leery. Why am I not surprised? tomorrow, and it might not even be the day after Let me guess, research for your screenplay? that. But one of these days you’re going to go to Dawson: No, a friend of mine lives here. your mailbox and open it up, and that Advocate Doug: This friend wouldn’t be by any chance be cover story, will be yours. The copy’s gonna read: your mysterious femme fatale would she? “Good Cop, Gay Cop - The Douggie Whitter Dawson: No. Nothing as lurid as that I’m afraid, Story”. (beginning to fake crying) And I’m telling just a friend. you Doug, we are gonna be so proud of you. Doug: Oh, funny. I never figured you to be the Really, truly. type to be pals with oxygenarians. Doug: (starts laughing then yells) I am NOT gay!! Dawson: Come again? Now both of you, off this dock now! I mean it. Doug: That boat, on which you were very much a (Doug storms off) trespasser, belongs to a Mr and Mrs Paul Dawson: So? Stepmonk. A sweet little couple, somewhere in Pacey: She’s a squirrelly one, lost me like that their late eighties. (snapping his fingers). Dawson: Oh. 42 (Rialto movie theatre - Joey walking around - Joey: Andie, in the light of the day, you can comes across Andie) psychoanalyse me all you want, but I am not Andie: Oh my God, Joey. What are you doing leaving you alone with this guy. here? It doesn’t matter, c’mere. Isn’t this great? ROB: What the hell’s going on here Potter? Me on a date with Rob Logan, Senator Logan’s Joey: Do you like nachos? Personally, I find them son. I mean his parents are loaded. Not that that to be one of the more disgusting innovations in matters, but it doesn’t hurt either, and he’s sooo movie food. I mean, all this congealed stuff, it’s cute. not even cheese you know, it’s kind of cheese Joey: Slow down Andie, OK? Rob Logan is not a food. (holding them out to Rob) Here, try them. nice guy. And since I started working for him my Andie: (to Rob) I’m sorry, I didn’t know. life has become one gigantic leer fest. He’s a Joey: Now this is comic gold, this stuff. (holding creep to an exponential degree. packet out to Rob) Guber? Andie: OK, Joey, this may come as a surprise to (Grams house - Jack looking through fridge) you, but not everybody minds being looked at as a Grams: There’s ice-cream in the freezer. sexual object. Jack: Oh yeah. Ever since I started playing Joey: The guy hits on me daily in a wide variety of football, I’ve been eating you out of house and creative and not so creative ways. First day, he home, huh? walked in on my while I was changing my clothes. Grams: No problem. Andie: Why are you trying to ruin this for me? Jack: I just wish I felt a little more like was earning Joey: Look, I’m not trying to ruin anything. I just my keep around here. thought you should know what kind of a guy Rob Grams: But you are. You are making my Logan really is. granddaughter happy, happier than I’ve seen her Andie: Joey, guys is hardly your area of in quite a long while. expertise. I mean, between Dawson and my gay (Jen enters, slamming the door - she’s not a brother … I’m sorry but it’s true. I mean, your not happy camper) exactly sophisticated when it comes to dealing Grams: Oh Jennifer, you scared me half to death. with guys. Jen: I’m sorry Grams. Getting surprised really Joey: Get a grip, OK. This is not about me. sucks doesn’t it Jack? Andie: Yeah, it is Joey. I mean, you’re still fixated Grams: Jennifer- on Dawson. And you’re so closed off to any new Jen: This is between Jack and I. So how does it experience that a guy so much as looks at you work? Do you take cash? Credit card? And is it and you freak out. Joey, staying home every just Henry, or am I going to have to service the Friday night isn’t going to bring him back. whole football team? Joey: And going out with a nimrod like Rob Logan Jack: Now calm down, you’re overreacting. is a recipe for recovery? Andie, if you think this Grams: Which one of you is going to tell me little escapade is going help you get over Pacey what’s going on here? you- Jack: I … I just thought I’d do a favour for a friend Andie: Joey. I’m moving on with my life. so I set him up. I thought it’d be romantic. Somehow, I though you of all people would Jen: About as romantic as a car-jacking. understand that and be happy for me. I guess I Jack: Jen, he’s just a kid. A nice kid, and he likes was wrong. you. (Andie walks off - back to movie theatre) Jen: Oh yeah, he’s a real nice kid. He stares at Andie: (getting to her seat) Sorry. me like I’m a pornographic fantasy come to life. ROB: I was getting worried. You missed the Jack: That’s because he’s infatuated with you. previews and dancing candy. Jen: Well I’m not infatuated with him, and I told Andie: Sorry, long line. you that a thousand times and you didn’t listen to ROB: This’s going to be great. me. You took his side. Joey: Excuse me. Coming through. Sorry. Sorry. Jack: I didn’t take anybody’s side. I … I just- (sitting down next to Andie) Jen: Wanted to get you little football friend lucky. Andie: Joey, what are you doing? Well sorry. (she walks away) Joey: These are great seats. Regular or diet? I (Dawson enters his bedroom to find Eve sitting in couldn’t remember so I got both. the frame of the window) Andie: No. Get out of here now. Dawson: What the hell are you doing in my room? Eve: I want my picture back. 43 Dawson: And I want some answers. had this oestrogen charged urged to seek out the Eve: Well Dawson, what would you like to know? missing pieces of the puzzle. Dawson: I’d like to know why every single word Dawson: Which brings you to Capeside. Why? out of your mouth has been a lie. Why you claim Eve: All I know about my birth mother is that she to be a highschool student and you’re not. Why lived somewhere in this part of the country, near you’re living in a yacht that doesn’t belong to you. the ocean, so I’ve been travelling up and down the I want to know once and for all, who you are. eastern seaboard, asking questions along the Eve: You have every right to ask those questions way, hoping to get lucky. Dawson, and I promise you, the answers are Dawson: And have you? forthcoming. Eve: Depends on what you mean. No Dawson, I Dawson: I’m sick and tired of being toyed with. haven’t found her. Not yet anyway, and not here. Ever since you slam danced your way into my life Which means it’s time for me to move on. So ends I wrecked my fathers boat- another instalment in my melodrama. Eve: That was so worth every penny and you Dawson: It’s more movie of the week than film know it- noir. Dawson: It’s been one disaster after another. Eve: With an itch. Eve: I turn a dork into a stud in a matter of weeks Dawson: (smiling) A lot of itch. I don’t know Eve, and this is my thankyou note? Where’s the love? call me gullible, but … it’s time I actually believe Dawson: Eve, the (words?) amoral routine is you (hands back the photo). really old. Eve: Thanks Dawson. You’re a hugely sweet boy. Eve: Is that what you think I am? Amoral? And you’re right, I play with you. I do that I guess. Dawson: Either that or a criminal. I move into a new town and chances are that I’m Eve: Sticks and stones Dawson. Now give me not staying forever, so I play a role. That way no- back my picture. one can get close to me. And believe me, most Dawson: Eve, for the last time, what were you guys are content with me, the actress. But you doing in Grams house? dug at me. You wanted to see inside my screwed Eve: Looking for something to steal, to get bus up little soul. money out of here. There. Satisfied? Now give it Dawson: Yeah, well I mean, once you get past to me. the lying, and the stealing, and the using a sex as Dawson: Not until you tell me how a faded old a weapon, there’s a lot of good stuff in there. snapshot could mean so much to someone so Eve: (laughing) I hope I haven’t done anything cold and detached as you. irredeemable? Because I like to think you’ll Eve: You’re right Dawson, I never was a student. remember me once in a while and smile. The yacht … not mine, I was sort of squatting. Dawson: Well riding my father’s boat was always And that girl is my mother Dawson. Whom I’ve on the list of things (words?) three. never met. Whom I’m trying to find. And that Eve: See, there you go. Maybe I’ll even get a picture is my only clue. footnote in the unauthorised biography. Dawson: Talk, I’ll listen. Dawson: You might just warrant a whole chapter. Eve: OK, let’s see. Where to begin. How about Eve: I’ll be checking the credits for you Dawson. last Christmas as I was rummaging around in the Dawson: Take care Eve. attic, looking for some wrapping paper, I found the (Jack approaches Jen, sitting on quilt in park) photo in question, of the girl that bears me an Jack: Should I just fall on my sword now, or wait uncanny resemblance. until the battle’s over? Dawson: What did you do? Jen: What do I care? Either way you’re a dead Eve: I asked my folks of course. man. Dawson: And? Jack: Look, uh, this whole Henry thing, you got it Eve: Painted into a corner Mom and Major dad all wrong. I didn’t do it for him, I did it for you. (she finally told me the truth. gives him a ‘yeah, right’ look) I’m serious. I just Dawson: That you were adopted. wanted to show you that the things that you want Eve: That’s right. No more calls, we have a are there for the taking. You just, you know, winner. believe you deserve them. Dawson: What did you do? Jen: You don’t get it. This was our place. Yours Eve: Nothing. Very strangely, I had no angst and mine. Doesn’t that mean something to you? whatsoever. It’s only after it crept up on me that I Jack: Yeah, of course it does. But don’t you want more? 44 Jen: No. Not from us. Jack, I’ve had lovers, I’ve Don’t we usually stay open until eight on Friday had boyfriends, but what I’ve never had is a boy nights? who was first and last a friend. Who wasn’t Joey: Nobody ever comes in after seven, you secretly trying to get in my pants, or wouldn’t walk know that Rob. away from me the second I said I didn’t want to ROB: Just answer the question Potter. sleep with him. Who like me … for me. Unless Joey: Yeah, we usually stay open until eight on you’ve recently decided to be bisexual? (Jack Fridays. laughs) You know, I think you setting me up was a ROB: You’re fired. lot more about you than it was me. Joey: What! Jack: Come on, give me a break. I do not have a ROB: You heard me. I’m in charge here, and it is secret crush on Henry Parker. unacceptable for an employee to close early Jen: Neither do I, but that’s not what I’m talking without my permission. about. I mean that … maybe it’s you who’s lonely Joey: Oh, yeah. And that’s really why you’re firing for the relationship. me Rob. Jack: Well maybe I am. But this isn’t exactly New ROB: Spare me the adolescent mini-drama York where gay kids are tripping over each other Potter. You’re fired because you closed early, end coming out of the closet. This is Capeside, gay of story. population is one. It’s me. I’m it. Andie: Joey, um, she can explain. I mean this is Jen: Jack, you’re going to have a love life. You’re all just a really big misunderstanding. going to have a fantastic love life. It’s gonna be Joey: Don’t bother Andie. awesome, and terrifying, and, and when it ROB: Nice working with you Potter. happens it’s going to change your whole life. Joey: You know what Rob? The day your out-of- Jack: Yeah, it’s easy for you to say. whack labido lands you so deep that not even Jen: I know it is. You have to have faith that daddy can save your ass, don’t call me as a sometimes things happen when they’re least character witness. Rot in hell! expected. (Grams house - she goes to answer the door - (watering system comes on again) Dawson stumbles inside) Jen: See what I mean. Grams: Oh, my word. Beware of (word?) bearing (Joey at work next morning - Andie approaches) air-conditioners. Joey: Hey. Step-puppy isn’t here yet. You must Dawson: (panting) My father’s orders. He wanted have kept him out pretty late last night. me to take this extra of ours over to you. Andie: OK, nothing happened. And not that you (Dawson enters a room and practically drops the deserve an explanation, but right after the movie air-conditioner on the floor. He notices a photo he walked me to my front door, and he was a that has the exact same woman as the one in perfect gentleman. Eve’s photo) Joey: Yeah, he’s a prince all right. Prince of Dawson: Mrs Ryan, who is that in that picture? darkness. Grams: Well that’s our Lord, Jesus Christ, as (Rob walks up) interpreted by one of our gifted Sunday School Andie: Hey Rob. students. ROB: Slacking off on the job again Potter? Dawson: I meant the one below it. (Joey gives him a go jump out a plane without a Grams: That’s my daughter Helen. She can’t parachute look) have been more than eighteen there as I recall. It Andie: You know, Joey and I, just girl talk. was right before she went away to college. ROB: Yeah, I know. So last night, quite a Dawson: So that’s Jen’s mom? threesome. Only next time I want to be in the Grams: I have only one daughter Dawson Leery. middle. It was quite an unexpected pleasure (Realisation comes to Dawson’s face - Jen and though, I mean, I assumed you were working. Eve share the same mother!) (Ending credits)

45 Secrets and Lies

[Open in Capeside High hall.] [Credits] (Dawson and Jen walk together down the hall.) [Outside Bessie and Joey’s house.] Jen: Genetic Inevitability is what it is. (Lots of workers are walking around. Bessie pours Dawson: What what is? coffee as Pacey and Joey walk up.) Jen:The fact that I’m turning into my mother. Take Bessie: Guys, it’s all so exciting. Now tell me, this whole Homecoming Queen debacle. whose brilliant idea was this again? Dawson: Your mom was an HQ? Pacey and Joey: Mine. Jen: She was a Miss Cape Cod. Same difference. Pacey: Okay, it was your sister’s idea to craft this She graduated from swimsuit competition to a life place into a bed and breakfast, but I’m the one of cucumber sandwiches, high teas and junior who told her how she could do it for next to league. nothing. Dawson: Point being? Bessie: Oh, and Pacey, be sure and thank your Jen: It’s just, despite all my best efforts, I too have Dad again for getting us the help. managed to reach the very pinnacle of Capeside Pacey: Please, I finally figured out what the police popular culture. Dawson, I have sold my soul. I auxiliary in this town is for. have become that false character who just follows (To Joey as he reaches for the coffee pot) Take it their name around. black? Dawson: Beat yourself up much Jen? Joey: Yeah (He pours her a cup of coffee.) Jen: Only when I deserve it. Just another Pacey: Ok, Potter what’s up? character flaw brought to you direct from Mommy Joey: Well, considering that a lot of our insurance Dearest. money is going to be swallowed up in this, I just Dawson: You know, I think you’ve got it hope it all works out. backwards. I don’t think anyone voted before you Pacey: It’ll work. because you’re like your mom. I think they voted Joey: It better. I can’t go back to the marina gig. for you because you’re different. Pacey: Yea whatever happened with that creep Jen: They voted for me because I’m blonde and I anyhow? fill out my sweater. Joey: Long story. (pauses) He was going on a Dawson: That too, (she looks at him skeptically) date with someone I know and and I was but I think, no, when kids voted for you they voted concerned about her and I tried to warn her and for an outsider, you know? A provocateur. as a result he fired me the next day. Messiah to lead them from the mainstream. Pacey: Oh what a charmer. Who was it? (They round a corner and are confronted by Mr. Joey: No one you know. Milo) Pacey: Really? Yeah, Potter, do yourself a favor. Mr. Milo: There she is. Miss Lindley, may we Never go into politics. You’re constitutionally interrupt? incapable of lying with a straight face. So who was Jen: With good news, I hope, Mr. Milo. she? (Joey is silent) Oh. Mr. Milo: Allow me to introduce you to Capeside’s Joey: Sorry. I wasn’t going to tell you, Pacey. finest. You are looking at half a century of Pacey: Why do I feel like I just got hit with a homecoming queens. (Camera reveals a large sledgehammer? group of women in nice clothes with big hair) Joey: If it’s any consolation, it won’t last. I mean, Ladies, may I present Miss Jennifer Lindley. Andie’s way too smart to fall for that jerk’s— 1999’s proud addition to your numbers. Pacey: Hey, it’s okay. Whatever makes her Miss Freckling: (steps forward) My name is happy, right? Constance Freckling of the Mayflower Frecklings, [Dawson’s house] famous Freckilng’s candies. I’m the oldest living (Dawson walks into the kitchen.) HQ. Now Jennifer, if you’ll just extend your index Dawson: Dad, i’m home. (looking across the finger along the inside of my wrist like this. (She room) Mom? takes Jen’s hand.) Congratulations. You’ve Gale: Hey. Oh Honey, I’ve missed you so much. learned the secret handshake. Welcome to the Dawson: What are you doing home? club. I’ve heard all about you. Gale: A mother can’t surprise her son? (All talk at once. Dawson and Jen smile nervously Dawson: I’m not complaining. at each other.)

46 Mitch: (entering from the doorway) I’ll tell you why Miss Freckling: (coming up from behind her) she’s here. This year’s HQ gala. Don’t slouch, young lady. Square your shoulders. Gale: Your father knows me too well. Being an Face the world! (motioning towards the dress) HQ from a certain undisclosed year in the late What do you think? seventies, yea, I thought I’d come home. Jen: Excuse me? Mitch: Late seventies? Miss Freckling: The dress. It’s nearly finished. I Gale: (laughs) make a new one every year for tomorrow’s gala Mitch: Hello, Gale. celebration. Gale: Hello, Mitch. Jen: Um, see that ‘s what I wanted to— Dawson: You know, Jen’s planning it. Miss Freckling: One must remain modern, after Gale: The gala? Jen Lindley? all. I’m thinking of lifting the hem and softening the Mitch: Yeah, Capesides’s newest Homecoming neck a little. Queen. Jen: Softening would be good. Listen Mrs. Gale: Well, how on earth did that happen? Freckling— Dawson: Nobody’s quite sure but I’m interpreting Miss Freckling: Miss Freckling. I never married. it as an early sign of the Armageddon. (Banging on the roof) Gale: Hm, well at the very least, that should make Jen: Oh, what in the---w-world was that? for a fun time for us. Miss Freckling: Hank. Dawson: Have you developed a lazy eye or were Jen: Hank? you actively looking in my direction when you said Miss Freckling: My handyboy. Lovely child. Lives us? right down the road. Presently, he’s hanging extra Gale: Honey, I need an escort. twinkle bulbs on my roof. (Dawson, Gale and Mitch glance uncomfortably at Jen: Oh yeah, about that party, I hope that you each other.) don’t mind, but it’s just that I’ve been through all [Capeside High Cafeteria] this before with my mother, and she was (Pacey and Joey sit at a table. Andie comes and constantly trying to turn me into a debutante and joins them.) it’s just not my thing. Andie: Hi. Miss Freckling: Oh, but I do mind. You have a Pacey: (getting up) I just remembered I got some responsibility, young lady, as the newly crowned French vocab to study for. queen to help me host this event. Andie: You don’t take French. Jen: But I didn’t ask for this. Pacey: Well, all the more reason, right? (he Miss Freckling: Nor did I ask for you, Jennifer. leaves) Most girls who walk through this door are pleased Andie: You told him. as punch to be here. They’re sweet, upstanding, Joey: It slipped out over breakfast. enthusiastic girls who relish the chance to be role Andie: Breakfast? models. They tend to stand up straight, comb their Joey: Yeah, Pacey’s been helping Bessie and me hair and... wear brassieres. Am I making myself with the addition. You know, the one we’re clear? investing every spare cent we have to build so we Jen: Crystal. can hopefully open soon and financially barely (Jen leaves. As she walks out the door, a figure scrape by? falls from the roof in front of her.) Andie: Look, Joey, it wasn’t my fault you got fired Henry: Aaah! and even if it was, which it wasn’t, you can’t stay Jen: You’re Hank. mad at me forever. Henry: Quick. Bees. Run for your life. Joey: Not forever... a few solid months. (He takes her hand. They run to the greenhouse.) Andie: Ok, I don’t know what Rob and I are. All I [Inside the new addition of the Potter house.] know is I can’t help it. I like him. (Pacey and Joey are sweeping up.) Joey: For now, but I can promise you this, Andie. Joey: Just like the cops to disappear when the You’re going to get a big, fat I told you so. going gets tough. [Freckling Mansion] Pacey: Some of them do have wives and children (Jen picks up a note on the door. She goes inside to get home to. And besides, we’re almost done and looks around at pictures on the wall. There’s here, and you know, I was thinking. You’re gonna a dress in the middle of the room. She looks in the need a name for this addition when we do get mirror.) finished, so a suggestion, if I may. How does the Pacey J. Witter wing strike you? 47 Joey: Keep talking, it’ll be a memorial dedication. ROB: Wait a minute, I didn’t even lay a hand on Pacey: You know, Potter, sometimes your lack of her. gratefulness, it borders on unappealing. Pacey: (walking away) Save it for the judge, (Bessie enters with the phone in her hands.) Logan, huh? Bessie: Joey, it’s for you. Whoever it is, she ROB: Get out of my house. sounds upset. [Miss Freckling’s greenhouse. Evening] Joey: Hello?.... Hello— (Henry and Jen admire the flowers.) Andie: (tearfully) Joey? Jen: It’s really beautiful in here. Joey: Andie is that you? Henry: Isn’t it? You’re looking at over 200 plants. Andie: Joey, please help me. (pointing to one) Bulbophyllum virginalis. [outside Rob’s house] Jen: You’re making that up. (Pacey, Joey and Andie are crouched under a Henry: No I’m not, I swear. Sometimes they get a tree.) little suggestive with the names. Joey: Andie, what happened? Jen: Okay, give me another one. Andie: I don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanna go Henry: Ok, how about Polystachya Pubescenes home. or Vanda Vaginatum? Pacey: Andie, you gotta tell us what happened Jen: Ooh, is it hot in here or did you just make me first. blush? Andie: Pacey, please— Henry: Oh- Joey: Andie, what did he do? Did he try to hurt Jen: Relax, Henry, it’ll take a lot more than a you? flower to offend me. How did you learn so much Pacey: Andie, you gotta tell us, what did this guy about these? do to you? Henry: Miss Freckling. Andie: Um, we were upstairs... in the Jen: What’s the deal with her? bedroom...and we were just kissing. And then...he Henry: What do you mean? started trying to...and I kept saying no and he kept Jen: She’s wound so tight, she’s like a violin trying. And then I managed to get away before string. anything else happened. And that’s when I came Henry: No, she’s—she’s just sad. down and I called Joey and can we just go now Jen: Sad? please? Henry: She’s got no one in her life. She never Pacey: Where is he? had kids, no relatives. I’ve lived next door to her Andie: Don’t worry about it. for 10 years, I think I’m her best friend. Pacey: Is he in there? Jen: I don’t know who to feel sorrier for, you or Joey: Pacey, let’s just go. her. We’re gonna have to toughen you up. You Pacey: I’m not leaving until I talk to that bastard. keep wearing your heart on your sleeve like that Andie: Pacey, no— and you’re gonna bleed to death. (He gets up and goes towards the house.) Henry: It’s not me, it’s her. You have no idea how [Inside Rob’s house. Lots of people are there. much she was looking forward to meeting you. Music is playing.] Jen: She was? (Rob is talking to some friends. Pacey comes from Henry: I told her all about you. See, the thing is, behind him.) she has exactly two events on her social calendar. ROB: But I tell him, it is easy... The W.O.C. in Miami every spring— Pacey: Rob- Jen: The W.O.C.? ROB: Yeah? Henry: The World Orchid Conference. And in the Pacey: You’re here with Andie, right? fall, the Homecoming Queen gala. It’s what she (Pacey punches Rob. Guys try to pull them apart.) lives for. Without them, she’s got nothing at all. Pacey: What the hell did you do to her? [Joey’s house] ROB: I didn’t do anything. (Joey, Andie and Pacey sit around the table.) Pacey: That’s why she’s outside bawling her eyes Joey: Look, um, you need to go to the station out, for nothing. tonight. ROB: Where is she? Andie: Uh-uh, I can’t go to the station. Pacey: You’re not going anywhere near her. Joey: Andie, you have to go to the police. ROB: Get off me. Andie: It’s not like he actually did anything. Pacey: If you so much as touch her again, I am Joey: Well, then why don’t you stay here. I really going to nail you to a cross. don’t think you should be alone tonight. 48 Andie: Thanks, but I can’t. Andie: True Love, that’s ironic. Pacey: I can take care of this, Jo? Pacey: Yeah, well I figured since it didn’t exist, I’d Joey: You sure? try and create it for myself. Pacey: Yeah. (He puts a blanket around her) Joey: Ok. Andie: Why did you bring me here? [Miss Freckling’s house] Pacey: Because, well, you said you wanted to go (Miss Freckling is working on the dress. Jen and someplace quiet. Henry enter.) Andie: There’s lots of quiet places, Pacey. Henry: Miss Freckling? Constance? She’s got her Pacey: Yeah, I guess there are. Um, I guess I just aid turned off. wanted to show you I’ve been okay since we Jen: Aid? ended things. I’ve found a way to turn what’s Henry: Hearing aid. Sometimes she likes to tune killing me into something potentially beautiful. out the world. Andie: I haven’t, Pacey. I’m not over you. (Henry taps her on the shoulder) Pacey: You will be, McPhee. Miss Freckling: Oh, Hank you startled me. Andie: See, even that, just you calling me by my Henry: I, um, I ran into Jen outside. last name. You know how long I’ve waited to hear Jen: Miss Freckling, I know that we got off on the that? wrong foot and I just wanted to see if we could Pacey: You’ve been through a lot tonight, Andie. start over. Let’s not go there. Miss Freckling: He is persuasive when he wants Andie: If it took what happened tonight to bring us to be, isn’t he? together, so be it. Jen: I, I—I ‘m just getting to know him. Pacey: We’re not together. I mean, I’m here for Miss Freckling: Well, if he likes you, you can’t be you, but we’re not together. all bad. Andie: If we’re not together, then I’m not sitting Jen: You know, I was just thinking the same thing beside you, staring into your eyes and kissing about you. you. Henry: So, should we wait for the waters to calm (She leans in to kiss him, at the last second, he or just dive right into the party planning? pulls away.) Jen: I say, dive right in. Pacey: Andie— Miss Freckling: Very well. Entertainment or food, Andie: Sorry. take your pick. Pacey: We just can’t. Phew, we can’t for so many Jen: Um... entertainment? reasons, we can’t. Miss Freckling: Ah surprise, surprise. Now, since Andie: I’m not asking you what we can’t do, it’s my house, there are some rules. Pacey. I’m asking you what you want to do. Jen: Surprise, surprise. Pacey: I want to know that you’re okay. That’s all Miss Freckling: No mimes, no magicians, no that matters to me now. Barry Manilow, no Elvis look-alikes, no Andie: That’s a shame, because you still matter motivational speakers, no comedy troupes, no to me in every way. I want to be with you, Pacey. breakdancing, no gangsta rap, no animal tricks— Pacey: I know that’s how you’re feeling right now, Jen: Okay, no nothing that you might possibly see but tomorrow could be an entirely different story. on Letterman. Andie: I’m not talking about tomorrow. I’m talking Miss Freckling: What’s Letterman? about right now. Tonight. You and me together, Jen: How does—a string quartet playing Mozart under the stars, just like it used to be. I’m talking strike you? about a kiss. That’s all I’m asking. Don’t you want Miss Freckling: Perfect. to? Jen: Ok, I’ll split the difference. (They kiss. They pull away and kiss again.) Miss Freckling: I’m sure you will. [Outside Andie’s house] Jen: Oh, and there’s one more thing. (Pacey and Andie drive up in the patrol car.) Miss Freckling: What’s that? Andie: Thanks for taking care of me. Jen: Well, uh, he doesn’t know it yet, but Hank Pacey: Right back at you, Andie. here is going as my date. (She puts her arm Andie: I just wanna say for the record, about last around him.) night. Whatever did or did not happen between us [Pacey’s boat] happened for a reason, and I, for one, am 100% (Andie and Pacey sit on the boat together. Andie okay with it. And you know, wherever it may lead, picks up the sign “True Love.”) whatever new status may result, it’s totally- 49 Pacey: Andie- (Dawson and Gale sit together at a table.) Andie: I’m rambling. Dawson: I wonder where Jen is. Pacey: Yea. Gale: Oh, don’t look now, here comes Marilyn Andie: Well, it’s an awkward moment and I’m Mendrick and her husband. I haven’t seen them in scared, and in scared moments I ramble. I mean, years. some people do that sometimes, I mean, Dawson: I can’t stand that woman. sometimes they even ramble when they’re— (They get up and go across the room where they Pacey: Andie— meet Marilyn.) Andie: Rambling again, right? I guess I just Marilyn: Oh, Gale, Dawson. wanna know that you’re feeling what I’m feeling. Gale: Neil, Marilyn. Pacey: I am. Marilyn: I heard all about Philadelphia. Andie: (sighs) That makes me so happy. (she Gale: I’m sure you did. Excuse us, we were just kisses him goodbye on the cheek.) Okay. going to get a drink. (They wave goodbye. He closes his eyes Dawson: Actually, I’m quite proud of my Mom. thoughtfully.) Marilyn: Oh, we all are, even if Philadelphia didn’t [Joey’s house] quite agree with her. Honestly, I think it’s perfectly (Rob is at the door. Joey opens it.) absurd to fire an anchor since the public felt she Joey: Didn’t you read the sign? No known sex was too old to identify with. You wouldn’t hear offenders within 200 yards of my property. them saying that about Diane Sawyer. ROB: I didn’t do it. Neil: Gale, I speak for the whole county when I Joey: Not bad. You could use a little work on the say you’d be welcome back on our airwaves delivery, however. I suggest a less foreceful anytime. interpretation. Gale: Thank you, Neil. (She tries to close the door. He doesn’t let her.) Neil: (to Marilyn) Shall we? (They leave) ROB: Joey please, tell me... tell me- (he grabs Dawson: Mom, is there something you want to tell her) she hasn’t gone to the police. me? Joey: You touch me again and I will scream faster (Jen and Henry enter dressed in gross, lacy than you can say William Kennedy Smith, you got costumes.) it? Miss Freckling: You’re late. The entertainment ROB: Look. She was the one that wanted to go still isn’t here and that wardrobe is far from upstairs. She- she practically dragged me up to appropriate attire. I demand you go home and that room... and when we started kissing, I swear, change this instant. I can understand why she she just freaked out would turn this into a travesty, but why you, Hank? Joey: Know what, Rob, you do not have a lot or Jen: Relax, okay? I put him up to it and you credibility with me right now. haven’t seen anything yet. ROB: Fine, I admit it, okay but there is a Amanda: (off-camera) I swear it’s hotter than a difference between an inappropriate workplace French prostitute in this place. flirtation and— (Drag queens enter) Joey: And sexual assault? You draw your own Christy: What you need, Amanda, is a long tall line in the sand, Rob, they are both against the stiff one. law. Amanda: On the rocks. (He grabs her arm as she tries to close the door.) Summer: You said it, Sugar. ROB: I have never forced myself on anyone. Miss Freckling: Who and what are they? Joey: If you say so. Jen: They are the entertainment. ROB: It’s no secret that she’s unstable. No secret Miss Freckling: I need to sit down. that she spent some time in a mental hospital. [Andie’s kitchen.] Joey: I’m going to pretend that you never said (Joey and Andie are chopping tomatoes.) that. Joey: Andie, have you told your dad? (She closes the door.) Andie: Why should I? I mean, it’s only gonna ROB: (yelling) Then why would she do this, huh? upset him and it’s not like anything cataclysmic That’s all I wanna know. For what possible happened. reason? Joey: Andie, this guy could have hurt you. [The gala] Andie: You dont know that, Joey, and maybe I (Miss Freckling survreys the party happily.) overreacted. Miss Freckling: Splendid. Splendid. Joey: Do you think you overreacted? 50 Andie: Well, I didn’t cry wolf, if that’s what you’re (Andie enters with a basket. Pacey’s working on saying. the boat.) Joey: No, that’s not what I’m saying. Andie: I come bearing gifts. Andie: Then what are you saying? Pacey: Hey, Andie. Joey: I have to tell you something. Andie: Hey, I thought that, uh, True Love could Andie: What? use a woman’s touch. What do you think? Joey: Rob stopped by my house this morning. He Pacey: Well, to tell you the truth, what she could told me his side of the story and he basically got use is a new rudder and a keel. down on his knees pleading his innocence. Andie: Ok, would you settle for a skipper’s cap Andie: So that’s why you’re here. You of all and a pair of my Dad’s old topsiders? people are gonna believe that scum. (He puts on the hat.) Joey: I didn’t say I believed him. Andie: Very nice. Andie: No, you just stopped by for a friendly little Pacey: To be honest, I—I’m really starting to chat. wonder whether I’m gonna finish her at all. Joey: No, I stopped by to make sure we were Andie: Why do you say that? doing the right thing, Andie. Look, I should’ve Pacey: Well, because sometimes it’s harder to reported the guy myself about his behavior rebuild something than it is to just start from towards me. I mean I could’ve prevented this scratch. whole thing. I think your water’s boiling. Andie: Why? Andie: Listen, Joey, maybe all of this happened Pacey: That picture that you have in your mind of for a reason. I mean, maybe something good the way something was, it’s never gonna be that came out of it. (She puts spaghetti noodles into way again. the pot of water.) Andie: Yeah, but it could be better. Joey: What do you mean? Pacey: Yeah, it could be... depending on how Andie: As of last night, Pacey and I are back badly damaged it was in the first place. together and I can’t tell you how happy I am. Andie: How badly damaged was it? Because now everything can just go back to the Pacey: It was pretty much totaled. way it was. Andie: Ok, Pacey, could we please stop beating [The Gala] this metaphor to death and just talk about what (Jen stands on the stage with a microphone.) we’re actually talking about. Jen: Ladies and gentlemen, the moment that Pacey: I made a mistake last night, Andie. We youve all been waiting for. Please help me in both made a mistake. welcoming the awesome talents of Amanda Andie: What did we do? Nothing. Wreckinwith, Summer Clearance, Megan Whoope Pacey: All I can tell you is how it made me feel. and Ms. Christi Anity. Andie: How ? (They sing “It’s Raining Men.”) Pacey: Like I went against what I know is right. Henry: Don’t—don’t tell anyone, but I think I got Andie: That’s funny because today is actually the the hots for Christy. first day that I felt really happy since I left the Jen: I always knew you had excellent taste in hospital. women. Pacey: That is funny. You know, there used to be Henry: Constance is gonna kill me. a time when you and I were so in sync with Jen: Don’t be so sure. Down deep buried in there everything we did, just connected. And look at us somewhere, I think she gets it. now. We have the oppoisite reaction to the exact Henry: Gets what? same event. Jen: Homecoming Queens, Drag Queens, what’s Andie: Pacey, please don’t do this. Not now. the difference? They’re all just people dressing Don’t break up with me. up, pretending to be something they’re not. Pacey: I never wanted to break up with you. Playing a role. (She rises.) Come on. Never. I mean, all those months just waiting, Henry: What—what are we doing? secretly hoping... Jen: Dancing, in hopes of performing a miracle Andie: You’re just—you’re just punishing me, and awaking the dead. that’s what this is about and you just need to stop (Jen and Henry get up and dance. Gale and being angry with me. Dawson smile. Miss Freckling looks worried, but Pacey: I’m not punishing you, Andie. Punishment she’s tapping her foot.) implies that you did something wrong. [The Boathouse.] 51 Andie: I slept with another guy six months ago. I But the point is, the heart is a fragile thing Break it knew it was wrong when I did it. I keep trying to too badly and it might well never recover. (sniffs) tell you this and make you understand it. How [Miss Freckling’s greenhouse] many times do I have to say it? (Jen and Henry are looking at flowers. Henry Pacey: Andie, if you wanted to sleep with him, if shows her one in particular.) even just for a second, then maybe it wasn’t Henry: She calls it the Spotted Heart. It’s her wrong. most sacred blossom. Took her over 15 years to Andie: It was. breed it correctly. Pacey: Maybe... maybe that was just your heart’s Jen: It’s older than you are. way of teling you that I’m not the one. Cause Henry: The world’s most beautiful things are. that’s what my heart’s telling me right now. It’s (He tries to kiss her. She doesn’t let him.) telling me that you’re not the one. Jen: Henry- Andie: [sob] You don’t mean that, Pacey. Pacey, Henry: I thought we were having fun. you can’t mean that. Jen: We are, but not like that. Pacey: Andie, I’m sorry. Henry: You asked me to come with you tonight. Andie: No, just—just forget it. Jen: Yes I did. (she leaves) Henry: Doesn’t that count for something? [Gala] Jen: It counts for us becoming friends. (A conga line is going. Miss Freckling sits with Henry: Jen, I- I think I’m in love with you. Jen.) Jen: Henry, you’re not in love with me. Miss Freckling: Well, Jennifer, the evening Henry: You can’t say that. How do you know what wasn’t a total disaster. I will say one thing, they I feel? sure do know how to dance. Jen: You don’t even know me, how could you Jen: That they do. You know, Miss Freckling, I possibly be in love with me? believe that I owe you an apology. Henry: Because I just—I am. Miss Freckling: Whatever for? Besides the Jen: I wish it was that simple. obvious, that is. Henry: It is that simple. If it’s our age you’re Jen: Well the truth is that I intended to shock you worried about, we’re not even two years apart. It’s tonight, but something unexpected happened. For nothing. the first time, I was able to see past the cliche and Jen: Right now, it’s everything, Henry. Do you I actually enjoyed being a Homecoming Queen. know how much is gonna happen to you in the Miss Freckling: Which brings us to one small, next two years if you do them right? Your heart is unresolved item. Hank. He adores you, you know. gonna swell and break a hundred times before Jen: It’s just a crush, it’s completely harmless. you turn 16. Miss Freckling: It’s more than that. He talks Henry: How does that make me any less ready about you nonstop. Your presence in his life has for you now? I can still care about you more than awakened him somehow. It’s quite special. anyone ever has. Though my concern is the sentiment’s not mutual. Jen: No offense, but that’s not saying much. Jen: That would be correct. Henry: Then give me a shot. What do you have to Miss Freckling: I had a beau, once. Heir to a lose? mattress fortune. Beautiful man. I was 17. We Jen: Listen, Henry, what you need right now is courted. He asked me to marry him. I remember it somebody who can not only understand what like yesterday. He took off his hat, got down on you’re going through, but who can also go through one knee, it was at his mother’s grave site on the it with you. Believe me, everything that you anniversary of her death. haven’t done, I have. Jen: You were proposed to in a cemetery? Henry: Except fall in love. You haven’t done that Miss Freckling: Looking back, I should’ve run or else you’d have someone. But you don’t, which from there screaming like a woman from a burning leads me to believe that everything you think you house. know about love is questionable. And as long as it Jen: But you didn’t. is, you can’t tell me I’m not the one for you. Miss Freckling: No, I didn’t. But the wedding Jen: Henry, what you need to know about me, never happened anyway. He led me on, Jennifer. and it’s something that I’m just beginning to Played me for a fool. And then he ran off to understand, is that until I can look at myself California with the girl who’d sold him his Cadillac. without judgment or condemnation, I’m not ready for anybody. Let alone you. 52 Henry: You know, what you just said about my Andie: Oh, okay, so it’s just a coincidence that heart breaking 100 times? Well, there goes one minute we’re together and the next he never number one. wants to see me again. (he leaves.) Joey: When did this happen? [Gala] Andie: Tonight. An hour ago. Right after you went (Dawson and Gale sit talking by themselves.) and told him that I made up the entire story about Dawson: I’m just sorry you didn’t feel you could Rob just to get him back. tell me. Joey: Look, okay, Andie. I admit, it- it did cross Gale: How does a mother tell a son, whom she’s my mind, but I didn’t believe it. Not for a minute. supposed to be teaching to dream, that she failed Andie: Is that right? at her own? Joey: I know you. I- I know that you’re a good Dawson: Mom, first of all, you didn’t fail. And person. You- you would never do anything so second of all, you don’t look old. You look great. hurtful and plainly wrong. (Andie walks over to the Gale: Thank you, Honey. bench silently.) What? What did I say? Dawson: Now, as for coming home... Andie: Nothing. Gale: Sweetheart, I have my reasons why I don’t Joey: You can tell me, Andie. want to race back to Capeside. Andie: Look, you don’t know me, Joey, okay? Dawson: And that’s between you and Dad and I You don’t know what I’m capable of when I set my don’t want to get in the middle but— sights on something. Gale: But you think that I should talk to him, don’t Joey: Andie, you’re a stubborn and determined you? person. There’s nothing wrong with that. Dawson: I just think you could use a friend like Andie: No, it’s- it’s more. It’s like I’ve got blinders him now. on and all I can see is what’s right in front of me, Gale: That’s not too easy, Dawson. There’s way what I’m after. And everything on the edges just too much history there. gets blocked out somehow. Dawson: But there’s no law saying that you can’t, Joey: What are you talking about? you know, lean on him a little. Tell him the truth, Andie: I’m talking about Pacey. I love him and I Mom. What’s the worst that could happen? need him.. . and the truth is...I don’t know what Gale: He could help me. We could become the truth is anymore. friends again. (Joey sits beside her and puts her arm around Dawson: Ha. God help us. her.) [Joey’s porch] Joey: It’s ok. (Andie paces furiously while Joey sits listening.) [Gala] (Jen is walking inside, she sees Miss Andie: You lied to me. You told me one thing to Freckling talking to the drag queens. She sits with my face and then you went right behind my back. I them, they make a toast.) thought you were supposed to be my friend. [Docks] (Henry walks alone with a hurt and Joey: I am, Andie. confused look on his face.) Andie: Oh, and you have such deep feelings for [Dawson’s porch] (Mitch and Gale sit talking to me that you went straight to Pacey and sabotaged each other.) everything. [Boathouse] (Pacey sands his boat furiously.) Joey: Pacey! I haven’t even talked to Pacey since [Joey’s porch] (Joey sits with her arm around you guys dropped me off. Andie.) Andie: And I’m supposed to believe that? (Ending credits) Joey: Well, it’s the truth.

53 Escape From Witch Island

[Screen Play Video] Island. (He wiggles his fingers trying to make it (Dawson enters from a side door to find Joey.) sound scary or something.) Dawson: Joey, hey. Joey: So, basically you’re ripping off The Blair Joey: Dawson, please tell me you guys have The Witch Project. Crucible. Dawson: I am insulted. I am making a real Dawson: Belinda checked it out about an hour documentary. I want to try to use the myth of ago. Witch Island to tell a larger story about hypocrisy Joey: Oh. Well, serves me right, I guess, for being and religious persecution. So, are you in? that girl. Joey: Well, if I blow off the paper, then I fail the Dawson: What girl? class. And if I fail the class, that could be the Joey: The girl who rents the movie the night beginning of a long and tragic downward spiral before an all important paper is due because her that dooms me to wait the tables of Capeside’s debilitating attention deficit disorder’s gotten in the greasy spoons for eternity, so count me in. way of her actually reading the book. [Opening Credits] Dawson: Since when are you that girl? [View from Dawson’s video camera] Joey: Between taking care of Baby Alexander (Principal Green sits at his desk, facing the and getting the B and B up and running, I—I camera.) haven’t had a lot of time for that pesky endeavor Principal Green: (missed words here) twelve known as schoolwork. teenage girls, really, were banished to a small Dawson: B and B? I thought you worked at the island off the New England coast because they marina. were suspected of practicing witchcraft. One night, (Joey shakes her head) a year later, a fire raged out of control killing them Dawson: What happened? all. Joey: That’s a long and exceedingly soapy story, (Mitch’s face on camera) Dawson. So, what’s up with you? Has Eve helped Mitch: Hands down, best High School make-out you add any more crimes and misdemeanors to place ever. your record? (Gale standing on the street, facing the camera) Dawson: Eve left town, actually. Gale: I think that’s where your father and I made Joey: Well, thanks a lot, Dawson. Guess I’ll see love for the first time. you around school. I’ll be the one cloaked in Dawson: God, Mom. failure. (the camera turns away) Dawson: You know what, Joey, what if I told you Gale: Honey, are you okay? you didn’t have to do the paper. [Outside Capeside High] Joey: I’m listening. (Joey, Jen, Pacey and Dawson walk up together.) Dawson: After we got the assignment, I went up Jen: I gotta say, Blair Witch was a joke. I wasn’t to Green and I said, “Look do you really want this remotely scared, that girl was irritating beyond standard five pages of footnotes and cryptic measure and I had to run to the snack bar in dire encyclopedia passages chronicling the Salem need of dramamine. Witch Trials or—“ Joey: I was scared. Joey: Let me guess, you sold him on the idea of Pacey: It’s no surprise there, Potter. After all, you making a movie instead. Classic Dawson Leery. are quite the skittish kid. Dawson: Here’s the best part. Jen and Pacey are (He pokes her, she shoves him.) also excused from the paper as long as they lend Dawson: I thought Blair Witch was me a hand with the— groundbreaking. Hollywood laid to waste by some Joey: I guess my invitation got lost in the mail. duds with a camcorder. How cool is that? Dawson: I would’ve invited you, I just— Pacey: Frankly, I think my father makes scarier Joey: Forget about it. So what’s it about, the movies with his home video camera. You guys movie? want scary, check out the Whitter Family Dawson: Well, since we’re reading The Crucible Christmas Project. Guaranteed. Make you and studying the Salem Witch Trials, I figured, [Inside Capeside High] why not do a documentary based on something that happened right in our own back yard? Witch

54 Jen: Now, before we’re off to see the witch, I (Andie enters, catching Principal Green, who’s on would like to opine that there are no such thing as his way out.) witches. Andie: Ah, Principal Green, do you have a Pacey: Here we go. moment? (Jen hits him playfully.) Principal Green: Now is not the best time. Jen: I say witch is just a buzz word. For a girl who (He tries to keep walking, she stops him.) happens to follow her completely healthy, totally Andie: I just want you to know that I take my natural urges and explore her sexuality. But see, appointment to the head of the disciplinary you can’t do that in school in the 1690’s without committee with the utmost seriousness and I am getting the good townsfolk all up in arms. So what determined not to lose your trust. do these puritanical, impotent creeps do? Instead Principle Green: That is an earnest attitude, now if of reaching for the Viagra, they brand these girls you’ll excuse me— as witches, they send them off to this godforsaken (He tries to leave again, she stops him again.) island to die a horrible solitary death. Andie: Oh, I just want to let you know that the last Joey: Well, lucky for you, Jen. I mean, we live in a few weeks have been tumultuous to say the least, world where you can follow your natural urges but I’m pleased to report that I have my priorities without fear of persecution. in order. Jen: You’re right. I would’ve been so burned at Principal Green: Good, I’m glad to hear that. the stake by now. Why don’t you check with me later? Dawson: Okay, I think it’s time to set up for some Andie: I’d like to run by a few ideas if that’s all interviews. Joey, could you lend me a hand? right. (He gives up and shows her into his office.) Joey: Sure. Okay, I’ve read the rules of conduct... Dawson: You guys wanna set up some [Outside Capeside High] interviewees? (Joey is setting up a tripod and Dawson prepares Pacey: Jawohl, mein Direktor. (Yes, sir!) Have the camera.) fun, kids. Now doesn’t that just warm your heart? Dawson: I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed Kevin and Winnie taking those first tentative steps this, Joey. back to the wonder years. Joey: Me too. Jen: Actually, it just makes me really glad that you Dawson: I just—I feel lucky. and I had the forethought never to hook up. Joey: So do I. Pacey: Amen, Sister Christian. Dawson: Like—like I’ve been able to recapture a Jen: Why is that, do you think? feeling that I lost somewhere along the way. Pacey: Well, if you look at the clinical research Joey: I know what you mean, it’s like— you’ll find that the smart-ass sidekick, he never Dawson: I mean, granted, you know, it’s only for gets the girl. a school project, but it feels good to be making Jen: (pitifully) Aw. movies again. Pacey: No, the real reason there was never a you Joey: (pauses) I thought you were talking about and me is because you and me, we don’t need us. You and me. anything from each other. Dawson: Well that—that, too. Obviously. I mean Jen: I’m sorry, I left my decoder ring back in the it, you know, I- I miss the whole let’s-make-a- cereal box. movie bug thing, before things got really angsty, Pacey: See you, as the girl whose wanton ways but I’m really glad we’re friends again. had her banished to the boonies, you needed the Joey: (nods.) Friends. Right. affection of the unblemished, small-town pure [Dawson’s camera view] heart to validate you in your oh-so-vulnerable (Grams sits at the table, speaking to the camera.) time. Me, as the perennial black sheep of the Grams: 300 years ago, harlots who were Whitter brood, I guess I just needed the love and practicing witchcraft were banished to that island. affection of a woman whose drive and devotion And what happened there is proof positive that the would so shame me to the core that it would force good Lord doesn’t take lightly to those who dabble me to get in touch with, uh, I don’t know, shall we in the black arts. call it my inner achiever? You and me, we’re (Bessie with Alexander on her knee.) different. We’re on a level playing field. Bessie: One time, in High School, this kid Jen: And I thought that Dawson was good at disappeared there. He was a big stoner. One of deconstruction. those guys who has Led Zeppelin Four playing in [Capeside High Office] his head at all times, so everybody said he 55 probably got wasted and drowned. I don’t know. you may have about Witch Island, which, I’m Some people say that the witches got him. ashamed to say, represents a particularly dark (Girl) period in our nation’s history. Girl: Yeah well, kids just mysteriously disappear Jen: Oh good God. there over the years and they say it’s the witches Pacey: Uh, you wouldn’t happen to have a snack or whatever, but I think the CIA or the NSA has bar or anything up there, would you? Cuz I’m something to do with it. It’s just like our famished and Cameraman over there decided to government to come up with some occult back cancel the 7-11 run before we got on the boat. story to cover up their malfeasance. (Jen sticks her tongue out to the camera.) [The dock] Wendy: You’ll find some refreshments at our gift (Pacey, Jen, Joey and Dawson enter, walking to a shop, young man, along with a lovely selection of boat docked nearby.) our witch themed souvenirs. Pacey: Nobody brought snacks? Oh come on, Jen: (hoping out of the boat) Oo, I like souvenirs. guys, what’s a field trip without the snacks? Wendy: Making a little movie, are we? Nobody brought the Doritos? Or HoHo’s? My Joey: He’s ripping off The Blair Witch Project. kingdom for a (missed word) wrapped in tin foil. Wendy: Seen it. Come with me, I’ll take you to the Boat Guy: It’s the Dawson Leery party, right? cemetery. Goes over real well with you filmmaker Dawson: Present and accounted for. Mind if I ask types. It’s got a lot of atmosphere. you a couple of questions? I’m making a movie. Dawson: Hey, Joey, you realize the Blair Witch Boat Guy: Only if you return the favor, all right? was fake, right? Whereas my documentary is real. (He pulls out a camera.) So, uh what’s your movie [Witch Island Gift Shop] about? (Jen picks up a book called Charms, Spells and Dawson: I’m making a documentary on Witch Formulas.) Island. Jen: Pacey, check this out. (Reads) Has that Boat Guy: I’m making a documentary about all wicked crush got you down? Do you stare at him the people making a documentary about Witch for hours without getting so much as a glance in Island. Ever since Blair Witch hit, every geek with return? Do you ever call and hang up, rifle through a camcorder and a dream’s been out here, so a his garbage? Has the thought of disfiguring his little luck, this baby will get me on the festival girlfriend every crossed your mind? Stalk no more, circuit, right? ladies, for this handy dandy incantation will turn Dawson: What can you tell me about Witch the object of all your affections into a love sick Island? puppy dog. Boat Guy: You know, you kids think its all spooky Pacey: Dream on, Lindley. fun and kitschy cool and all that, but don’t get so Jen: What, you don’t think it’ll work? caught up in your Scooby-Doo adventures that Pacey: Well, not to be a naysayer—no actually, to you get stuck out there past dark. be a naysayer, my belief in the power of spells is Jen: Oh come on, we don’t scare that easy. somewhere up there with my belief in the validity Boat Guy: (talking really fast) Oh sheesh, you call of sea monkeys. me a liar? You call me a liar? Is that what you’re Jen: I’m gonna try it. saying, huh? Listen, girls died out there. You don’t Pacey: On whom? think they’re a little, uh, ticked off about what Jen: You. happened all those years ago? You think thery’re Pacey: Me? above, uh, taking their anger out on an errant Jen: Who better? You’re not attracted to me in the teeny-bopper or two every once in a full moon, slightest. huh? These girls, sometimes they just, uh, they Pacey: Not in the least. can’t control their natural urges, you know? Okay, Jen: Ouch. all aboard, let’s go. Pacey: No, I didn’t mean it like that. You are (The boat pulls away from the dock. Dawson certainly quite the little ubervixen and I am nothing records.) if not fond of you, but you’re just not my type. [The docks on Witch Island] Jen: Right back at ya, man. (Dawson and co are in the boat. Wendy comes Pacey: (defending himself) I’m brooding... and out to welcome them.) comely. Wendy: Hey, gang. Welcome to Witch Island. I’m Jen: I’m sure that you score way high on some Wendy Dalrymple of the Capeside Historical girl’s cute-o-meter, Pace. Just not mine. Society and I’m here to answer any questions that 56 Pacey: Oh, better catch than Ty the bible beater Dawson: What about the fire, where did that or that skirt chasing Neanderthal Chris Wolfe. happen? Jen: This from the guy whose last two Wendy: Through the woods, at the church. relationships have ended with the girl either Dawson: Can you take us there? I’d love to get leaving town to avoid prosecution or cool out in some footage. crazy camp for the summer. Wendy: No. Because I never ever go into the Pacey: Ouch. woods. And if you kids are smart, you won’t either. [Witch Island Cemetery] But if you do decide to go, we do have maps in (Dawson films as he, Joey and Wendy wander the gift shop. through the graves.) [Witch Island Gift Shop] Joey: There are only twelve. (Jen stands over a cauldron, reading from the Dawson: What? book.) Joey: There were thirteen witches, Dawson. Jen: slow and feet on the floor chant these words Thirteen girls were sent here and there are only to make him yours. (she drinks) Your turn. twelve graves. Pacey: Excuse me? I’m sorry, it sounded like you Wendy: Smart girl. Nobody ever picks up on that. said something about me consuming that Her name is Mary Waldeck. godawful muck. Dawson: What happened to her? Jen: It says right here that both myself and the Wendy: Her body was never found. No one object of my affection must ingest of the potion for knows for sure what happened, but there are two the spell to work. distinct schools of thought. For those that like a Pacey: No, no, no, no, no. good ghost story, well they believe that she really Jen: Please? Pretty, pretty, pretty please? You was a witch and she haunts the island to this day. don’t have to swallow the branches, I promise. But for those romantics out there, they believe Pacey: Fine, fine. But Lindley, payback is gonna that her lover came and took her away from this be a bitch. (He drinks.) awful place. Jen: How do you feel? Joey: Her lover? Pacey: Less than fresh. Wendy: Yeah, I’ll give you the cliffnotes. Mary (Wendy enters quickly with Dawson and Joey was an orphan. She was taken in by a family behind her.) called the Bennet’s and raised alongside their own Wendy: What is going on in here? son, William. William and Mary got along Jen: Just a couple of crazy kids practicing a little famously, so much so in fact, that in time they fell bit of black magic. in love. Pacey: Yeah, you know— Dawson: Uh-oh. Wendy: You shouldn’t mess with things that you Wendy: One night, Mary and William were found don’t understand (To Dawson and Joey) Here, this in bed together. This did not go over well with the will take you through the woods and to the church. god-fearing Bennet’s, and in the blink of an eye, And, oh yeah, don’t get lost because it’s very Mary was no longer their daughter. She was a dark, it’s very dangerous, and there’s an excellent witch. chance that you will never be seen or heard from Joey: That’s horrible. again, okay? Wendy: Can you imagine what this poor girl had [Witch Island Woods] to go through? This is a young girl, no older than (Pacey, Jen, Joey and Dawson walk together.) you, put on trial, banished to some godforsaken Jen: Take that Mary Waldeck girl, for example, island for crimes she didn’t understand, much less was she a witch? I think not. Sounds like she just commit. She was separated from the love of her had a bad case of the warm and fuzzies. life. I think that that’s what makes this island such Joey: It’s too heartbreaking for words. a charging place. Cuz if you’ve ever loved Dawson: I couldn’t disagree more. somebody that you couldn’t be with, you can feel Joey: How do you figure? it in the air, the sadness, the longing, the Dawson: It clearly illustrates how love can thrive uncertainty. in even the worst of circumstances. Joey: Are you taking this down, Dawson. Joey: Yeah, and look what happened to her. Dawson: What do you mean? Dawson: Nobody knows what happened to her. Joey: Soulmates torn apart by circumstances Joey: Well, I think it’s safe to assume that Mary beyond their control doomed to wonder what died a very sad and lonely death, separated from might’ve been. There’s your movie. the one boy she ever loved. 57 Dawson: No, I don’t buy that. If two people are Joey: Hold on, Romeo. Why are you reading into truly, madly, deeply in love, they’ll figure out how this all of a sudden? How do you know that to be with each other. William didn’t light the torch? Joey: They were young. They were split up for a Dawson: Uh, I don’t know, maybe cuz he loved long time, maybe—maybe he forgot about her, her? maybe he met someone else. Joey: How do you know he was such the Dawson: If he didn’t meet somebody else and enlightened male, Dawson. I mean, if the whole forgot about her than obviously they were never town thinks your girlfriend’s a witch, maybe it’s just meant to be in the first place. See my point? easier to go with the flow. Joey: Could you be any more naive? Dawson: That’s not the story I’m interested in Dawson: Could you be any more cynical? telling. Jen: Could you be any more irritating? Pipe down, Joey: Well, a good documentarian looks at the you guys, we’re here. story from all possible angles, Dawson. Not just Pacey: What do you think the chances are that from the perspective of his coy and annoying little they’ve got a men’s room in there? I went a little view. heavy on the witch’s brew. I’ll be right back. Jen: Hey, has Pacey showed up yet? (Walks off into the woods.) Joey: Not since he went out in search for the [Capeside High.] perfect tree. (Andie walks up to a girl wearing a skimpy dress.) Dawson: We gotta get back, its starting to get Andie: Spaghetti straps and open toed shoes? dark. Not on my watch. Jen: You know, I’ll go find him. You two go back (A guy in a letter jacket starts to shut his locker to that boat guy and make sure he doesn’t leave that’s plastered with pictures of girls. Andie stops without us and well meet you back at the docks. him.) [Witch Island Woods] Andie: Inappropriate display of the female form. (Dawson and Joey walk together to the docks.) Statute 97.1, offensive and disgusting. Dawson: Joey, why does my optimism have you (Andie stops a guy with long hair and a guitar.) so irked? Andie: Excuse me, ‘scuse me, in case you didn’t Joey: That’s not what’s irking me, Dawson. know, Elvis has most definitely left the building, Dawson: What is it? and in his absence there will be no sideburns Joey: What’s going on with us? creeping past the earlobes. Rules of conduct, Dawson: Joey, this is not the time or the place to baby. Read em, learn ‘em, live em. run through an exhaustive dissertation on the [Witch Island Church.] state of our relationship. (The gang opens the door and walks inside.) Joey: Right, you know we should just stand back Dawson: (reading a historical plaque) Listen to and watch it crumble around us. We’ll just deal this, the townspeople built the church cuz they with it when it’s more convenient. thought it would help the girls find God. They sent Dawson: We’re friends, why can’t we just leave it a minister over every Sunday, but the girls teased at that? him so mercilessly, eventually he gave up and Joey: Friends. stopped coming. Dawson: Yeah, you take away everything else Jen: I could hang with those girls. (swinging her that we are and that’s what we are. We’re friends. arms around absent-mindedly) I wonder if Pacey Joey: Dawson, you can’t just will a friendship into loves me yet. existence. Joey: They were murdered. Dawson: You know, I give up, Joey. For the first Dawson: Beg your pardon? time in my life, I have no idea what you’re talking Joey: It says here that a group of men from the about. mainland treated the island like their own personal Joey: Of course you don’t. brothel. When word got out, the bible-thumpers Dawson: Well, explain yourself. got together and decided enough was enough. Joey: Dawson, what exactly do you know about And then an angry mob came, corralled the girls my life these days? I mean, think about it. Do you into this church, and set it on fire. know how I lost my job? How I did on my PSAT’s? Dawson: And that’s when William must’ve run off How the Potter sisters are eking out their meagre with Mary. living? And you know, I don’t know a thing about your life, either.

58 Dawson: Joey, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I that I feel like the creep at the end of the day. How thought that’s what we needed. does that happen? Joey: You know what the last year of my life has Jen: You think you’re the creep? Just wait till been? This wide-awake nightmare of conflicting some sweet, innocent freshman gets a crush on emotions. And no matter how bad it got, there was you and then you accidentally on purpose break always one thing that kept me going, and that was his smitten little heart, thus derailing his next (not us. Our bond, our connection, whatever you want sure if it was the word ‘next’ or not) love life to call it. You know, it made me feel like I wasn’t forever. alone, like I was part of something special. So I’m Pacey: You know, love has this horrible habit of not standing here whining about being friends or messing everything up. not being friends. It’s just, for the first time in my Jen: That it does. life, I’m not feeling that connection, Dawson, and it Pacey: But sex is nice. scares me. Jen: (looking a little surprised) Yes it is. (The boat engine starts.) Pacey: Yes it is. Sex good. Love bad. You toss it Joey: Wait! into the wok, it messes the whole thing up. Boat Guy: There you are, great. Get in, let’s go. Jen: This is true. Joey: No, we can’t leave yet. We got split up from Pacey: I’m starting to think that casual sex is our friends. maybe the way to go. Boat Guy: Stupid, stupid, stupid. Didn’t I warn you Jen: Sex is never casual, Pacey. guys about getting stuck out there past dark? I’m Pacey: Perhaps, but what if both partners agreed pretty sure I did. to the terms beforehand. Dawson: They’ll be here any minute. Jen: Like a pre-nup? Boat Guy: Nuh-uh. No way. I’m not staying. Pacey: Yes, exactly. Like a pre-getting-busy Weird things happen out here at night. So you agreement. I’m just thinking out loud here, but the come with me now, or I can come back in the concept of two horny teenagers coming together morning and find out who’s still alive. for some gleefully nasty coitus and parting as Dawson: We’re not gonna leave without our friends is positively revolutionary in this day and friends. age. Boat Guy: Fine. I warned you guys. I told you. Jen: Sounds killer in theory. Whatever you do, don’t go in the woods. Pacey: No guilt. (Boat drives away.) Jen: No shame. [Witch Island Woods] Pacey: No head games. (It’s dark now. Jen and Pacey walk through the Jen: No bad mix tapes. woods with a flashlight.) Pacey: I hate those. You know, this may be the Jen: Do you feel it yet? witch’s brew talking, Lindley, but you are starting Pacey: Feel what exactly? to look all kinds of cute. Jen: The spell. [Witch Island Gift Shop] Pacey: Yeah, yeah I am starting to feel (Joey sits reading from Mary Waldeck’s diary something. I think I’m starting to feel a little lost. while Dawson is in the background.) That’s what it is, lost. Joey: (reads) Another day goes by without word Jen: Yeah, I know. I gotta say, the idea of a from William. It’s been but a few weeks time since wholesome, biblically-themed meal this evening I arrived on the island, yet it feels like an eternity. with Grams isn’t sounding too gosh-darned This time apart has me wondering if our bond was unappealing. I’d even consider saying grace. But but an illusion. instead I am traipsing around some haunted forest Dawson: Is that what you think, Joey? That our with the likes of you. relationship was some slide of hand magic trick Pacey: Why am I always the bad guy, huh? Do I you made to fill up some hole in your life? deserve this? I don’t think so. What is it about me Joey: Look, I didn’t say that, Dawson. Don’t put that inspires such vitriolic diatribes? Take Andie, words into my mouth. for example. She goes away for the summer and Dawson: I don’t have to. sleeps with a mental patient. So I break up with Joey: Dawson, don’t you ever wonder where this her for conduct unbecoming a girlfriend, is going, where we are exactly? I mean, is this just something which I think I was pretty justified in, the first act or is our story ended and we’re just yet somehow she manages to turn it around so too stupid to realize that?

59 Dawson: Why do we have to figure all that out town who feel we should be punished further for right now? What’s wrong with just living the our crimes. (looks up) That’s the last entry. present for once. Jen: So you think he came back for her? Joey: Because the present sucks, Dawson. I Joey: No. He probably played her for a fool and mean, excuse me for thinking back and looking took up with some well-bred hussy from the forward, but I’m just trying to make sense of mainland. what’s happened to us. Jen: Come on, Joey. Hop on the happy train. Dawson: Joey. (he walks over to her.) Joey, you Sounds to me like those two were madly in love. yourself once told me that some love stories never Joey: Yeah, you know, I hate to be one of those end. What happened to that girl? girls who mistakes pop lyrics for profound thought, Joey: She offered herself to the boy she loved but sometimes love just ain’t enough. and the boy she thought loved her back and he Jen: And I hate to be the one to burst this whole rejected her. subtextual bubble that you’re living in, but do me a Dawson: Joey, listen to me. If we are truly meant favor, Joey. Don’t let somebody else’s love life to be, then we will find a way back to each other. dictate your own. It’s as simple as that. (Later. Dawson and Pacey sit in the back of the Joey: Are you so sure about that, Dawson? church, watching Jen and Joey.) Listen. (Reads.) I fill my days with memories of Pacey: You’re not filming anymore, hombre? him. I remember how he used to look at me, as if i Dawson: I’m not feeling particularly visionary at was his most valuable treasure. Has he found a the moment. Let me ask you something, Pacey. new treasure? I can’t help but wonder if we will be Do you think I made a mistake? able to find our way back to each other. The road Pacey: When and where. before us seems so very long and my head is Dawson: I told Joey that we needed some time clouded with such dark thoughts. I feel our bond apart. grows weaker by the day and I’m powerless to Pacey: Do you think you made a mistake? stop it. (a bell rings) Dawson: Not at first, but I look at her now, and I Dawson: That’s probably them. see how far apart we’ve drifted and I—I don’t (Dawson and Joey leave. A suspicious Wendy know. What if I was wrong? What if we don’t end watches after them.) up together and it’s all my fault? [Witch Island Church] Pacey: You wanna know what I see when I look (Pacey and Jen are inside the church as Dawson at you, Dawson? For better for worse, I see a guy and Joey enter.) who consistently wears his heart on his sleeve. So Pacey: Hey, you rang? no matter how harsh it may seem in retrospect, Dawson: I thought you guys rang. when you decided to put some distance between Jen: We didn’t rang. yourself and Joey, I know all you were doing was Joey: Somebody rang. just following your heart. And with that in mind, I Pacey: Well, this is mighty peculiar, people. really don’t think it’s possible for you to have made Dawson: What? a mistake. Pacey: There’s no bell here. (Later. Dawson and Joey are asleep in the pews. Dawson: What? Pacey and Jen sit close in the front of the church.) (They all look up into the steeple which is bell- Jen: So you really think we can pull this one off? less.) Pacey: I don’t see why not. Joey: Ok, I’m now sufficiently wigged. Jen: You don’t have any feelings for me, right? (Later. Joey sits reading the diary. Jen looks on.) Pacey: None whatsoever. No—no offense, of Jen: How goes the seventeenth century soap? course. Joey: She just got a letter from William. Jen: None taken, of course. Jen: Do tell. Pacey: You for me, feelings? Joey: (Reads) November tenth, Sixteen-ninety- Jen: Hardly even think about ya? three. Pacey: You gotta love that. Jen: That’s today. Jen: So what do we do now? Joey: That’s also the anniversary of the fire. Pacey: Uh, should I take my pants off? (Reads.) A letter today from my beloved William. Jen: Maybe we should kiss first. He has made me so happy. He says he’s coming Pacey: Yeah, that’s a good idea. tonight to take me away from this godforsaken (They move in to kiss. She pulls away just as their place, yet i am scared. He says there are those in lips touch.) 60 Jen: Wait, is this the spell? a girl who didn’t know what the future held for her Pacey: I—I don’t know. I don’t care. All I know is and the boy she loved. that in November of 1999, four hyper-verbal Principal Green: Nice work, Mr. Leery. A tad teenagers wandered off in the woods on Witch derivative in the wake of the whole Blair Witch Island to film some ridiculous documentary for phenomenon, but inspired work nonetheless. I history class, and eight hours later, two of them particularly like the part where- started making out. Girl: Hey, what’s that all about? (They kiss.) Dawson: What? Pacey: That was— Girl: It looks like two people standing on the dock Jen: --weird. watching you go. See, look close. Pacey: Yeah. Let’s try again. (Dawson rewinds the video. Sure enough, there Jen: Okay. are two figures in silhouette standing on the dock. (They kiss.) A student comes in from the hallway.) Pacey: How ‘bout that, more weird? Student: Principal Green, we’ve got a situation Jen: Not so much. here. (They kiss some more.) [Capeside High Cafeteria] (All of a sudden, they pull apart as tons of loud (Andie and Belinda are behind a table from which sounds come out of nowhere. People are yelling. extends a huge line of students.) There’s fire outside the windows. Blue writing Andie: Milling and making a filthy den in the appears on the walls. There are girls’ screams library. One week’s detention. (bangs her gavel.) and chanting.) Next! [Witch Island Church] Principal Green: Miss McPhee, you care to (There’s more yelling as they try to open the door. explain what’s going on here? It won’t open. Pacey bangs against it. A huge Andie: Principal Green, I took your advice and I fireball bursts in through the window. Afterwards, ran with it. I’ve teamed up with Belinda and we’ve everything is silent. Pacey bangs on the door. taken the first steps toward improving the quality Joey opens it. They run out the door.) of life at Capeside. Jen: Can we please just go home now? Principal Green: What could all these students Joey: Look I don’t care if we have to swim home, have possibly done wrong? let’s just get the hell out of here. Andie: Each and every one of them was in direct Dawson: There’s gotta be a logical explanation violation of the rules of conduct. for all of this. Principal Green: The rules of conduct were (A scream echoes through the woods.) prepared in 1957, of course they’re going to be in Pacey: Okay, well why don’t you send us violation. Now after you dismiss these students, postcards, Bob, because I for one am not sticking I’d like you to stop by my office. around to find out. [Screen Play Video] (They run to the docks. The boat is there.) (Pacey sleeps behind the counter. The sound of Joey: Hey, the boat’s there. the bell on the door wakes him. He looks up to (They fumble with the boat as they try to leave.) see Jen looking impishly at him.) Dawson: Get in, get in. Jen: So when are we gonna talk about it? Pacey: Watch out. All right. Pacey: Talk about what, exactly? Dawson: Get it, get it, get it. Jen: What happened out there. Joey: Go, go, go, go, go. Pacey: What did happen out there, Lindley? (Dawson tapes as they pull away from the docks. Jen: I don’t have any idea, but I would just prefer [Capeside High School.] if it didn’t get in the way of our experiment. (Dawson shows the footage just shown to the Pacey: Perhaps we should take the shadowy, ill- class.) explained events of our brief sojourn in the woods Dawson: To be quite honest, I envisioned a much as something of an omen. more straightforward documentary on the history Jen: No. of Witch Island, but I was surprised by what I Pacey: No? found there. A love story, pure and simple. Two Jen: No. If nothing else, that gooey little soulmates torn apart by the social climate of their melodrama just proves that love mucks everything time. And while what happened to us is certainly up. open to interpretation, there’s no disputing the fact Pacey: So then your thinking would be that we that the island embodies the emotional turmoil of should still have sex? 61 Jen: Yes. Joey: I think the crack habit has definitely come Pacey: Well, all right then. Okay. (pauses) Do you between you and your cognitive powers, Dawson. wanna do it right now? Obviously, Wendy and the boat guy were Jen: Um, do you? screwing with us the whole time. Pacey: I’m kinda tired, actually. Dawson: Skeptic. Jen: Oh, fine. Roswell’s on in five minutes Joey: Sucker. anyways. You just let me know Dawson: Cynic. when you wanna do it, and I’ll do it too. Joey: Gullible. Pacey: Okay, so let me get this straight. If I am Dawson: I don’t know, maybe you’re right. Maybe ever in need of... a release, you’re just gonna help we’ve seen the world according to Dawson one me out. too many times and we should just slip out of the Jen: Exactly, but keep in mind this is a two way Movie theater into the harsh light of day. street. Joey: I don’t know, Dawson. I mean, maybe Pacey: Of course. Well, that sounds fantastic. you’re right. Maybe William and Mary found their Jen: Doesn’t it? way back to each other after all. Pacey: It does. Dawson: You think? Jen: Good. Joey: It’s just a thought. Pacey: Should we—I don’t know, should we kiss Dawson: Joey, I want to apologize. on it? Joey: For what? Jen: No. Dawson: For taking our friendship for granted. I Pacey: No? was wrong to think that we could just pick up right Jen: No. Kissing is intimate and we’re not about where we left off. intimacy. Joey: Well, it’s not entirely your fault, Dawson. I Pacey: Perhaps we should just shake on it, then. mean, look at us. We’ve spent years (They shake.) intellectualizing every little feeling and it doesn’t Jen: Shaken. count for anything. All that matters is what we do, Pacey: It was good seeing ya. how we take care of each other. So let’s not talk [Dawson’s bedroom] this to death. Let’s take it slow and check in with (Dawson and Joey sit on the bed watching the each other every once in a while. frozen image of the two figures on the dock on tv.) Dawson: That sounds immensely doable. Joey: Who else could it be other than Wendy and Joey: Good. (looking back at the tv) I think this is that boat guy? I mean, he’s a guy, she’s a girl, one X-file we’re never gonna close. they both had access to the island, they left the Dawson: Not unless we go back. boat out there for us. I mean it’s the only possible Joey: No. explanation. Dawson: Come on, Joey. A sequel? Dawson: The only possible explanation? Joey: Let’s just see how this one opens first. Joey: Let’s hear your version. Dawson: By the way, how did you do on your Dawson: Okay, the girl is Mary Waldeck and the PSAT’s? guy is William Bennet. Look at those clothes, that Joey: Brilliantly. hat, those are 17th century clothes if I’ve ever (Ending credits) seen them.

62 Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner

(Jen and Pacey in a supermarket - Pacey is Whitter women, slaving over a hot stove all pushing the trolley) afternoon jut to be told that the butterball is too Jen: Uh, don’t let me forget to get the creamed dry. And this, coming from a guy who’s been onions, either. sitting on his derriere all day getting drunk and Pacey: (disgusted) Oh, (shaking his head) No. watching football. Mm-mm. Jen: Well, even despite the creamed onions, you (They begin moving down an aisle) gotta love Grams for offering an alternative. Jen: What’s the matter? You don’t like creamed Pacey: You do. Speaking of … you know, you onions? never told me who else is coming. Pacey: No, man, they creep me out. I’m being Jen: Don’t worry Pacey. Andie politely declined dead serious here, too. Just, the thought of them the invite. makes me sick to my stomach. All creamy and- Pacey: Hey, I wasn’t going there. (They pause halfway down the aisle as Jen picks Jen: (scoffing) Please. I think that she’s making up some cans) dinner for, uh, Jack and her dad tonight. Jen: OK Pacey, how about this-I promise to keep Pacey: (looking a little upset) Sound nice. It’s all offending vegetables out of your line of sight at good for her to have … family on Thanksgiving. all times. Good? Jen: (stepping towards him) C’mere. Pacey: You know Jen, when I suggested we hook (They embrace - Pacey begins to smell her hair) up today, this is not exactly what I had in mind. Pacey: Mmm. Good Lord, you smell good. (He Jen: Believe me Pacey, I know, but unfortunately backs away after hearing a sound) What was Grams’ Thanksgiving feast takes precedence over that? our burgeoning sex life. (Jen is laughing again) (Pacey starts pushing the trolley again) Pacey: (frustrated) Oh, Come ON. Pacey: (looking around and lowering his voice) Jen: (still laughing) Sorry. I’m sorry. Correct me if I’m wrong, but we don’t actually (Pacey walks off with Jen still laughing) have a sex life yet, do we? (The Leery household - Mitch is in the lounge Jen: What? And you think that that’s my fault? room watching a football game and Gail is baking Pacey: Ah … yeah, I do actually think that that’s in the kitchen - Dawson walks into the kitchen) your fault. Mitch: (encouragingly) All right, come on, big Jen: I’m sorry Pacey. I just—I just find it difficult to play, big play. C’mon, go go go, give him a block. … to watch you paw at me … what … (she bursts Somebody … out laughing) Gail: Hey. Pacey: (indignantly) Foreplay is no laughing (Dawson approaches the bench where several matter. How do you expect a guy to do his best pumpkin pies are laid out) work in the face of scorn and derision? Gail: So, what do you think? Tell me the truth, I Jen: (starting to calm down) It’s just that we’re want my contributions to Mrs Ryan’s Thanksgiving friends, right? And—and seeing as how we—we dinner to be straight out of Gourmet Magazine. are friends, but now we’re friends that … Dawson: (looking at the pies) It looks like the (swallowing hard) do that … um, it’s just gonna cover of their November issue to me. take a little time getting used to. (stepping closer Gail: (pleased) Ah. (she takes off her oven mits) to Pacey) Although maybe we could find a So while those cool, I can now get started with this moment later? oyster stuffing. Pacey: I can’t. I think I have to go to my parents’ (Gail starts chopping some ingredients) house for Thanksgiving. Dawson: So, how goes the apartment search? (Jen backs away) Gail: Oh, it’s—it’s coming. But, you don’t mind do Jen: OK. you? I mean me taking up temporary residence in Pacey: I—I’m sorry, I have to. I figured it’s the guest room? probably the right thing to do, seeing as they Mitch: (from the living room) Go, go, go … touch brought me into the world and all. down! Alright! Whoa! Jen: Gee, you sound so excited. Dawson: (chuckles) It’s starting to feel oddly Pacey: (first sentence said sarcastically) Oh, well, familiar. it’s such a joyous occasion. Just imagine it-the 63 Gail: What, your, ah, father watching football, and Jen: Well, despite the fact that I learned all that in me in my apron? kindergarten when we made those, uh, little Indian (Mitch enters the kitchen) construction paper head dresses, I really do Mitch: Hey, Dawson, you’re missing a great game appreciate the refresher course. But don’t worry, I in there. (he sees the pies) Oh whoa, check out plan to stay as far out of your way on this thing these pies. (claps his hands together and rubs (opens bedroom door) as humanely possible- them in anticipation) Dawson, grab a knife. Let’s (Jen stops suddenly with a shocked expression on see if they taste as good as they look. her face - her mother is in the room) Gail: (holding knife) Uh-uh. Don’t even think about Jen: Mom. it. Hands off. I cannot show up at Mrs Ryan’s with Helen: Hello, Jen. half-eaten baked goods. (Joey’s house - in the kitchen) Mitch: I—hardly seems fair, does it Dawson? She Bessie: I’m so stupid. invades the kitchen, fills the house with the scent Joey: What? of pumpkin pie, and then tells us we can’t have Bessie: Oh My God, that reminds me. I totally any. (he crosses his arms and leans against the forgot—I forgot that … you know, I forgot that bench) thing that goes inside the bird. (Bessie takes the Gail: Fair or unfair, no-one is going to spoil their turkey out of the microwave and puts it on the Thanksgiving dinner on my watch. table) What’s it called? Dawson: Why do I suddenly feel like I’m stuck in Joey: What, the gizzard bag? an episode of ‘The Waltons’? Bessie: Yeah. (she extracts the gizzard bag with (Mitch looks uneasily at Gail) tongs) Gail: Honey, why don’t you go and change? Joey: Oh, yuck. (Bessie tosses the bag in the bin) (Dawson looks at her dubiously) I swear, I mean, if mom were still alive, she would Dawson: (walking away) OK. probably have her own cooking show on the food (Jen enters her house with two brown paper bags network by now, and look at us. of shopping) Bessie: The truth is, (putting turkey back in Jen: Grams! microwave) I’m glad we’re having Thanksgiving at Grams: Oh, there you are. the Ryans’. Jen: (walking into the kitchen) Hey, Sam says ‘hi’. Joey: Me too. I don’t know, maybe it’s just the Grams: Who’s Sam? holidays, but … I just feel like any minute now Jen: You know Sam. The deli guy. The one with she’s gonna come walking through that door, and the big bad dentures, the liverspots and all that … ‘out of the kitchen everybody’. nostril hair. I think he likes you. (Bessie chuckles, nodding in agreement) Grams: (trying to say something serious) Jennifer (Dawson’s bedroom - Gail knocks on the door) … there’s something I need to tell you. Gail: Dawson? Jen: Grams, I know, I know. I won’t eat any of the Dawson: Come in. food before the meal is served. I will clean out my (Gail enters just as Dawson comes out of his closet to hang up the guests’ coats in. And will closet) think of something to be thankful for, so I won’t Gail: Hey. You’re wearing a new sweater. embarrass you in front of your prayer group. (She begins to adjust the sweater, pulling it here (Jen starts unpacking the groceries and goes to and there) the fridge) Dawson: Mom? Grams: Uh, yes. Actually, no—no, that—that’s not Gail: (pulling her hands away, palms up) Ah, … what I want to talk to you- sorry. Um, you know honey, I didn’t want to say Jen: Face it Grams, you gotta relax, it’s only a anything earlier in front of your dad, but, ah, meal. you’re never gonna guess who I ran into this Grams: It’s a meal with a long history. morning-Helen Lindley. Jen: I’m sure it is. (she goes to leave) I—I’ve got (They both sit on the edge of the bed - Dawson is to go get ready. putting on his shoes) Grams: (following her) Jennifer, I just want you to Dawson: Jen’s mom? bear in mind that—that—that—Thanksgiving is— Gail: Hmm-mm. So what do you think that is a holiday with a tradition. A tradition of people means? with differences-different ideas, different beliefs- Dawson: Well, why would I think what it means? coming together, sitting down together (they go up stairs), breaking bread together, in harmony- 64 Gail: What? You think it’s not possible that this Grams: Well, maybe you can’t find the right words very moment the two of them could be discussing because there’s too much to say. Jennifer, for the a certain half-sister? past 14 months I’ve been watching you-I’ve Dawson: Well, I think it’s highly unlikely watched you change. You—you’re more serious considering Jen doesn’t know she has a half- now, you’re—you’re at peace with yourself. It’s— sister. it’s like you’ve … you’ve crossed some kind of a Gail: (shocked) You didn’t tell her? threshold. Dawson: No. Jen: ‘Threshold’. It’s more like a crossroads, like Gail: Dawson, I’m impressed. I had no idea that I—like I could just go either way. you had such self-control. Grams: Well, I know that you will choose the right Dawson: Well, I’d like to brag and say it was self- way. control, but I think it was more gutlessness than (she puts her arm around Jen’s shoulder - Jen anything. closes her eyes) Gail: Well, then, it’s just a coincidence. (she gets Jen: But in the meantime? up off the bed) Grams: In the meantime … one foot in front of the Dawson: What’s just a coincidence? other, starting in that (turns head towards the Gail: Well, that one week you discover a skeleton house) direction. in the Lindley closet, and then the next the (Jen looks back at the house dubiously) aforementioned family just happens to get Grams: Come on Jennifer. (they stand up with together for the first time in over a year. Grams leading Jen by the hand) You can’t stay (Gail leaves Dawson to ponder the issue) down here all afternoon, people are starting to (Jen sitting on a bench near the water - Grams arrive. Besides, I’m willing to bet that your mother approaches) is just as nervous as you are. Grams: You’ve been down here for nearly half- (they begin walking back towards the house) an-hour now, Jennifer. You have to come up Jen: You think? sooner or later. Grams: Absolutely. In some ways, the two of you Jen: How could you not tell me that she was are more alike than you know. coming? (Jack and Andie are walking through the gate at Grams: I didn’t know. She just … arrived. (sitting Grams’ house - Pacey comes along on his push down next to Jen) It seems your father was bike) detained unexpectedly in Europe on business. Jack: Hey Pacey, happy Thanksgiving. Jen: Now that I can believe. Probably tossing (Pacey stops at a large table in the front yard and back a vodka martini about now, drowning his gets off) sorrows. (a bit angry) As if he actually felt any. Pacey: Yeah, you too, man. Happy Thanksgiving, Grams: Be generous, Jennifer. Andie. Jen: (still angry) Why? My mother isn’t here Andie: You too, Pacey. because she really wants to see me. She’s here (there’s a few seconds of awkward silence as they ‘cause she’s got nowhere else to go. look at on another) Grams: You don’t know that. Pacey: I, uh, I thought you guys were spending Jen: You know what? You’re right, I don’t. And the afternoon with your dad? how would I? The only contact that I have had Jack: Well, that was, ah, plan A. But he got stuck with her in the past year is a phone call. in Chicago. You know, any other dad would find a Grams: You know what I think? plane, train, automobile … anything to see his Jen: What? kids. But not Joseph McPhee. Grams: I think that underneath all this, you’re Andie: (placing a pie on the table) You know what really pleased to see her. Jack, I’m sure he did everything he could to get (Jen shakes her head) here. Grams: Well, maybe pleased isn’t exactly the (a few more seconds of awkward silence) right word. Maybe it’s more like ‘prepared’. You Pacey: What’d you bring, Andie? are prepared to deal with the past. You are Andie: Apple pie. prepared to … start facing the problems between Jack: Yeah, she made it herself. you. Pacey: Yeah, it Looks amazing. Jen: (upset) I can’t even look at her, let alone talk Jack: Um, what’d you bring? to her. Pacey: Um, (taking it from a brown paper bag) some cranberry sauce, in a can. (he laughs) A 65 little on the lame side, I know, but it’s about the Jen: Sorry, I didn’t realise you were still here. (she extent of my culinary expertise. dumps the coats and goes to leave) Jack: Don’t knock cranberry sauce, it’s the Helen: Oh- oh please, we can share. Ah, it is your backbone of any good Thanksgiving dinner. room now, after all. Pacey: Yeah. So how you been, Andie? Jen: Nah, I- I was just gonna drop these coats on Andie: Me? (shrugs her shoulders) Fine. Why do the bed. I’m sorry. you ask? (Jen goes to leave, getting as far as the doorway) Pacey: Well, it’s been a while since you and I Helen: Jen? (Jen turns and faces her mom - touched base. I just wanted to check in, see how Helen motions to the zip at the back of her dress) you’re doing. Um, would you mind? Andie: (scoffs) Could somebody please tell me (Jen walks slowly across the room, stands behind why guys always do that? I mean, you want to be her mom and fixes the zip-they can both see the nice, polite friend after the break-up. You themselves in the mirror) know what Pacey? You made a decision, so at Helen: Thanks. My God, you’re getting so least have the strength to believe in your beautiful. (Jen’s eyes are downcast) I’m sorry, did convictions. I say something wrong? Pacey: You’re right. Yeah, you’re absolutely right. Jen: No, no. I- I- I was … Um, listen, Jack, I think, ah, I’m just gonna mosey Helen: Tell me. (starts to leave). You know, I—I---, I think I’m just Jen: I was just remembering … how I used to gonna get off to my second stop on my Capeside watch you in the mirror when I was little. Watching tour of Thanksgiving. (he starts to walk off holding you put on your lipstick, brushing your hair. I his bike) studied your every move. Andie: No, no, no, you know what, we were the Helen: Like I was the most important person in ones who came at the last minute, so I really the world. should be the one to, ah- Jen: Something like that. Pacey: Andie, I wouldn’t think of it, it’ll be fine- Helen: Here, I have something for you. (she goes Andie: Be the one to leave. over to her luggage and gets out a small felt case) Jack: (stands up between them) Look, (pointing Mom gave these to me when I was about your at Pacey) you’re not going anywhere, and (looking age, and I figured that it’s, um, about time to pass at Andie) neither are you. It’s Thanksgiving. Now I them on. think it’s pretty cool of Grams to—to play host to (Helen hands the case to Jen, who unfolds the this group of misfits, all right? Now if the two of case to reveal a set of pearls) you can’t get over your history for just a couple of Jen: They’re beautiful, mom. You know I’ve hours, and enjoy the company of your friends, you always thought so. (pause) But I can’t. should be home eating a TV dinner under a bare Helen: Why not? bulb, OK? So get over yourselves, already. God! Jen: Because where would I wear them? Yeah, I (Jack storms off) mean at home, maybe. I mean in New York, (The guests begin arriving at Grams’ house - maybe, but here? And this is where I live now. Mitch and Bessie pass through the archway, Helen: Save them for a special occasion. following by Gail holding the baby, and then Joey Jen: Mom, you’re the one who taught me - pearls and Dawson, holding plates of food) lose their lustre is you don’t wear them. I guess Joey: It’s weird to see your parents together. they’re like people in that regard, you should keep (Dawson scoffs) them close to your skin. Joey: They seem to be getting along. Helen: Jen, please. Dawson: So it would appear. Jen: I need to go help Grams in the kitchen. (Grams and Jen appear at the door) (Jen walks out of the bedroom, leaving her mom Grams: Ah, hi everyone, happy Thanksgiving. staring after her) Come on in. (Grams’ kitchen - Grams is getting dinnerware out (They all reply to the same effect) of the cupboards - Joey and Dawson enter) Jen: Alright, everybody-coats, hand ‘em over. Joey: Is there anything we can help you with, Mrs (The guests all go up the front stairs as they Ryan? chatter) Grams: Pray. (Jen enters her room carrying the coats to find her Dawson: About anything in particular? mother just finishing getting ready, applying Grams: (leaving the kitchen carrying the lipstick) dinnerware) General prayer will be fine. 66 (Jen enters the kitchen) Helen: Oh, Gail’s son, of course. Hello, pleased to Dawson: Jen. meet you. Jen: Hey. Dawson: Pleased to meet you. Dawson: Hey, rumour has it your mom’s in town? Helen: I don’t think I could have imagined a more Joey: Yeah, are we gonna get a chance to meet beautiful day. Sometimes if forget how magical her? this place can be. Jen: (going through the cupboards) Um, I would Dawson: Um, you should know that- that Jen and love for you guys to meet her. I- It’s just that we I … actually dated for a little while. We are- we’re seem to be having a little failure to communicate still very good friends, and I care very deeply right now. She’s currently primping in the mirror, about her. I’m sure that she’ll be down shortly. Helen: Well that’s nice to hear, Dawson. I’m glad (Jen moves across the room to some other that Jen has a friend in you. cupboards) Dawson: (sighs) Um, there is also something else Dawson: Did you know that she was coming? that you should know. Jen: (shaking her head) Mm-mm. Big surprise. Helen: Yes? Guerilla style. Seems my mom is a graduate of Dawson: Alright, it is not going to be easy to say the Ho Chi Minh school of parenting. this, so I’m just going to say it, and you can tell me Dawson: Is she here for some reason other than if I’m out of line. Thanksgiving? You know, any news on the home- Helen: (bemused) I’m listening. front? Dawson: A few, ah … not too long ago I met a girl Jen: (shutting the cupboard) What, you mean is who was just passing through Capeside, and I, she begging me to return home to the familial ah, got to know her a little bit, and it came out that fold? I don’t think so. she had been given up for adoption. Um, she’d Dawson: Well, did you talk to her? I mean it’s- it’s just recently discovered this and she was been a long time. She must have a lot to tell you. determined to find her birth mother. Jen: Like what? Helen: What does this have to do with me, Dawson: (shrugging) Maybe she misses you. M- Dawson? maybe she- she’s sorry she sent you away. You Dawson: Mrs Lindley, this girl was carrying a know, I mean, I know she hasn’t alway been there picture of you. for you- (they stare at one another) Jen: Dawson, ever since I was 13 years old that Helen: And, ah … where is she, is she still here in woman has done nothing but stare at me with a town? look of mild disregard, like I was some stranger Dawson: No, she’s not. By the time I’d realised who spilled a cocktail on her carpet. who she was, she’d left. (they are all standing around the table) (Mrs Lindley’s expression gives away the truth) Joey: Jen, um, we’re all strangers to our parents. Dawson: So it’s true? I mean, they love us, but they don’t really know Helen: Does Jen know anything about this? us. And sometimes, before we get the chance to Dawson: No. I- I wrestled with telling her, but I- I know them, they’re gone. So we can’t ask them all ultimately decided with was not my place, which is the things we want to know about turnips or turkey why I’m really glad you’re here. gizzards, or … you know, what they were like Helen: This is a very difficult and a very personal when they were young. issue. Jen: (looking sad) Joey, I’m sorry. Dawson: I’m sure it is- Joey: Nah, it’s OK. Helen: And as you said, the girl is gone. So I don’t Jen: No, I am. I- I- totally- see any reason for Jen to know anything about Joey: No, look. What I’m trying to say is … would this. you give her a chance? She’s your mom, and um, Dawson: That’s not entirely true - I mean there’s the reality is is that she came here today to talk to nothing preventing Eve coming back into town, you, and … to be with you. And I think you owe and- her that much. Helen: Eve? (Helen is standing on the docks by herself - Dawson: That’s her name. Eve Whitman. And, for Dawson approaches) all I know, she could approach Jen herself. Dawson: Mrs Lindley? (he offers to shake her Something tells me that this information would be hand) Hi, I’m Dawson. Dawson Leery. much better coming from you than from her. (they shake hands) 67 Helen: Remember when you asked me to tell you Grams: (tapping her glass to get attention) And if you were out of line? now my favourite part of the meal-shall we all Dawson: Look, I- I’m not an authority on stand and join hands. Dawson Leery, would you functional families, all right, but- but I’ve seen what begin. happens when families keep these kinds of Dawson: Ah, sure. Um, I would like to give thanks secrets from each other. I just don’t want to see for the, ah, wonderful food that was just on our Jen get hurt. table. Helen: (walking away) Neither do I. Group: Here, here. (Dawson sighs heavily) Mitch: (to Pacey) Great cranberries. (Jack and Pacey walk through the front yard at Dawson: Um, I’d also like to give thanks for the Grams’ house - Andie watches them from the opportunity to gather with, ah, friends and family, veranda - Joey walks up next to Andie) who, in the best of all worlds are the one and the Joey: It gets easier, you know. same. Andie: What does? Pacey: Well, I would just like to pass along my Joey: Being in the same room as him. thanks to the ladies of the Ryan brood for an (Cut to Jack and Pacey walking up to the table outstanding meal, and an afternoon of peace, outside) both of which will be sorely lacking from the noisy, Pacey: Does she every ask about me? dysfunctional feast I’ll be having in about 45 Jack: What do you think? minutes. (they both begin to set the table) Andie: First of all, I’d like to thanks Mrs Ryan for Pacey: I’m thinking she’d probably hate me right her kindness, and for welcoming me into her about now. home at the last minute. Jack: Nah, only every other day. Grams: Of course, dear. (Pacey look over to the veranda—cut back to Andie: But I guess what I’m most thankful for … is Andie and Joey) my friends. All of you around this table have Joey: Andie, as a veteran of multiple break-ups helped me in so many ways that you’ll never with the same boy, I know what you’re going know, and ( about to cry) without you I’d be lost. through. I just wanted to let you know that … that Jack: Ah, I’d like to give thanks … for the kind of the dark nights will pass. Eventually you will find people that take strays into their life. You know, peace. the kind of person to whom it doesn’t matter Andie: I wish I could believe you, Joey. Because whether or not you’re family. Just that you have a sometimes, it is so unbearable, and it’s like this home. feeling of being uncomfortable in my own skin, (Grams smiles) and it’s like I have to keep busy, ‘cause if I stop, Joey: It’s my turn, I guess. Um, I guess I’d- I even for just one minute, all I can think about … is would just like to give thanks to all the people we how badly I hurt him and how badly I got hurt. love who, aren’t necessarily here with us today, (Cut back to Jack and Pacey, still setting the for whatever reason. Just because they’re not table) here doesn’t mean we love them any less. Jack: Well, it’s not a judgement, it’s a fact. I Grams: It’s your turn, Jennifer. mean, you broke my sister’s heart. Jen: Let me think. Well, I- keeping with the theme Pacey: She broke mine. I guess I’d like to give thanks for second chances. Jack: OK. So … imagine how much pain she’s in. For the opportunity to try and rebuild bridges once (Andie and Joey, back inside the house) thought beyond repair. And for the promise of Andie: So … ah, you guys have gotten to be many more Thanksgiving’s to come. pretty good friends lately. Helen: (Walking away from the table) Excuse me. Joey: Yeah. I mean Pacey’s a doofus, but, you (Grams turns to go after her) know, he has his moments. Jen: Grams. I’ll go. Andie: So, ah, so … does he talk about me? (Helen walking through the grass - Jen is trying to Joey: Not really, Andie. (Andie looks upset) I catch up) mean, you know Pacey. I mean, if he can’t come Jen: Mom, wait up. up with a clever quip about something, then he (Helen pauses until Jen catches up, then they goes stoic. The way he feels about you, he keeps both begin walking) that close to his heart. It’s really precious to him, Jen: I didn’t mean to upset you by what I said. I Andie. was just being honest. (Entire group having Thanksgiving dinner) Helen: You didn’t upset me. I was just thinking. 68 Jen: About what? Dawson: Alright, look. I’m obviously out of the Helen: Well, maybe I did something right for a loop here, but maybe that’s for the best, OK. I change. mean, because the last I want to do is get caught Jen: What do you mean? in the middle of your drama. BUT, guys, if there’s Helen: Sending you to live with Grams. something going on that affects me, then I need to Jen: Sending isn’t the way I’d put it. know about it, OK, you guys have to be honest Helen: Fair enough, Jen. But I don’t think you with me. realise how lucky you are. I’ve been searching in (Mitch and Gail look uncomfortably at one vain for friends like that all my life. another, knowing they have to tell Dawson Jen: Well I’m glad that makes you feel better, but something important) … as good as friends as they are, they’re not (Back to Jen and her mom - both are sitting down family. on a bench) (they stop walking and face one another) Jen: OK, let me see if I understand. Mother finds Helen: You’re right, Jen. daughter in compromising situation, and, instead Jen: I mean, this past year has been anything but of sharing her own experiences as a teenager easy for me. I’ve … stumbled and picked myself when … when she actually got pregnant and had up, and stumbled and picked myself up, over and a child, mother instead turns into a hypocrite and over and over, with no safety net. sends her daughter into exile? Helen: I know I should have been there for you. I Helen: It wasn’t only me, there was also your should have written or called. father to consider. Jen: (becoming teary) So why didn’t you? Jen: Well, I forgot about him. Helen: I wish I could tell you that. For a thousand Helen: Just for a minute, try to put yourself in my different reasons-I kept wanting to. place. (they begin to walk again) Jen: Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? Didn’t you Jen: You have no idea how much that hurts. once think that maybe it would help with what I Helen: I know. was going through, that you would make Jen: What did I do that was so bad? What was so something easier on me? Ins- instead of pushing wrong? me away and turning your back? Helen: Nothing, Jen, nothing so wrong. Helen: It was a shameful secret. A secret I’ve had Jen: Then what? to carry for over twenty years. Helen: Let me try and explain this. Jen: So the answer was to then make me fell dirty (Back at Grams’ house - Gail and Mitch are talking and ashamed? and laughing at the table - Dawson approaches) Helen: That was never my intention. Dawson: Do you mind if you join you? Jen: You know what I think? I think you’re just Gail: Well of course not. Sweetheart, I was very afraid of dad finding out. About your indiscretion. proud of what you said at the table today. The story of my life, just waiting for the day that Mitch: Dawson, check out your mom’s pie. It’s you decide to take my story for once over his. well worth the wait. Helen: You can think what you want, Jen. But I (Mitch and Gail start eating again) was not, and am not, prepared to wind up alone. Dawson: Alright, guys, that’s enough. Jen: And that’s the difference between you and Gail: What’s wrong? me, mom-because I would rather be alone than in Dawson: You two, acting like Rob and Laura a pathetic, loveless marriage. (she gets up to Petrie. One more moment of false sitcommy good leave) cheer, I’m gonna throw up your oyster stuffing. Helen: Don’t go. Gail: we’re just trying to become friends again, Jen: Mom, you are the most intensely selfish Dawson. person that I have ever known. Dawson: Friends, or more than friends? Mom, (Her mom just stares back at her) you move back into town and you take up Jen: God, I mean look at you, you can’t even cry. residence in our guest room. What is that Something’s taken that away from you-you’re supposed to mean? Are you part of the family, or numb, and you know what, you look grateful for it. are you a tenant, or … what? Know why you’re so afraid of being alone? Mitch: It’s not that simple, Dawson. Because the day you are, you’re going to have to Dawson: (sighs) It never is with you two. look inside of yourself and you’re going to see (Dawson moves around the table and sits next to what I’ve known for a long time-there’s nothing Gail) there. 69 (Jen walks off) Pacey: Did I, ah, miss something here? (Grams’ house - Bessie is holding the crying baby, Jen: No. We agreed to be available at a moment’s and Joey sits beside her) notice. Besides, don’t you like getting dirty? Bessie: Well, he’s had it. It’s definitely time for us (they reach the shed and go inside) to go. Pacey: I- I- I do, but you see, I- I don’t want to Joey: Yeah. Let me just say goodbye to them, seem like a prude here, Jen, but I actually- (he alright? looks at his watch) I really can’t do this right now. (Bessie stands up, collecting the nappy bag) (Jen begins to take Pacey’s jacket off) Bessie: It’s just us, not you. You stay, be with Jen: Come on, Pacey. I can say with absolute your friends. certainty that there will be no giggling right now. (Bessie starts to walk away as Dawson (she goes to kiss him, but Pacey pulls away) approaches) Pacey: You- you, just, ah, need to give me a Dawson: Hey Bessie. You leaving? second to catch up here. Bessie: Hi. Oh, yeah. Jen: Pacey, our arrangement precludes any sort Dawson: I’ll see you later. (he goes over and sits of emotional foreplay. next to Joey) Pacey: Yes, it does. (he takes both of her hands Joey: Hey. So … I, ah, saw you huddled up with away from his shirt) Which, by extension, also your parents over there. What’s going on with precludes the idea of angry sex. (she glares at them? him) Now you want to tell me what just happened Dawson: Well, the final chapter of the Mitch/Gail with your mom? saga. Jen: (sharply) Nothing. (pause) OK, long story Joey: What do you mean? short-like mother, like daughter. Seems I’m not the Dawson: The divorce is final. The, ah, Leery’s of only girl in the Lindley family who can’t say ‘no’. Capeside are officially finished as a family. Pacey: Ah … well, wake up and smell the Joey: (leaning in close) You know how sorry I am. sanctimony, mom. Dawson: I know. Jen: My sentiments exactly. I plan to file it under ‘I Joey: So what did you say to them when they told wish I never knew’. you? Pacey: I wouldn’t be so hasty. Ah … Dawson: I really let them have it this time. I Jen: What Pacey? looked them both in the eye, and I said, Pacey: For what it’s worth, as a guy who has just ‘congratulations’. gone through this himself, what just happened to Joey: Good for you, Dawson. you is a defining moment. When you come to see Dawson: Yeah, but you know what? I figure after your parents as human beings, with their own a year of iffing and butting, any decision is a good problems, it is, oddly, kind of liberating. And when decision. Right? you realise, they’re way more messed up than you Joey: (vigorously nods her head) Hm-mm. are, it’s not worth your time or energy to go on Dawson: You know, I mean, besides, the only despising them for it. homes we have are the ones we make ourselves. (Jen begins to cry and Pacey hugs her) Joey: I know what you mean. (Evening outside of Grams’ house. Helen pushes Dawson: So what do you say we really cut loose the trunk on her car shut and is about to open the tonight? driver door when Jen walks through the gate and (Joey looks at him dubiously) approaches) Dawson: Yeah. Act out our teenage ennui in, Jen: Leaving so soon? wanton, destructive ways. Helen: I think I’ve wreaked enough havoc for one Joey: What do have in mind? holiday, don’t you? (she opens the door) Dawson: Sex … drugs, rock’n’roll. Or we (laughs) Jen: If you’re worried I’m going to spill your little could just sit right here and have a mind-blowing secret to dad, don’t. I won’t get in the middle. It’s three-hour conversation. your marriage, and your life. (Pacey is walking down the front steps of Grams’ Helen: Jennifer- house - Jen comes up to him and begins to drag Jen: But I don’t regret saying any of the things him along) that I did. I won’t take them back. Jen: C’mere. Helen: I deserved them. I deserve everything that Pacey: Ah, where are we going? happens to me. Jen: To the gardening shed to play in the Jen: What do you mean? enriched potting soil. 70 Helen: Don’t marry a cold man, Jen. Don’t wake Pacey: Yeah? No hard feelings for this afternoon? up at 40 and realise that one false move and, Jen: Except the ones of utter embarrassment. No, everything you’ve built you life around could be I’m sorry about what happened. pulled out from under you. Pacey: Sorry? There’s no need for you to Jen: Why don’t you just divorce him? apologise to me. I know, this may be a little hard Helen: I can’t. for you to believe, but actually, it’s not everyday Jen: Why not? that a beautiful woman throws herself at me. Helen: Because do you realise what happens to (Jen laughs) women like me when their marriages fail? The Jen: And- and thank you. charity events stop, the social register inexplicably Pacey: For what? loses your address, and you disappear. You just Jen: Conduct above and beyond. disappear. Pacey: Ah, it was nothing. Jen: Since you put me on that plane I always Jen: Pacey, you’re a sixteen year old boy - that thought that you hated me. But you never did, did must have taken superhuman restraint. you? Pacey: (wholeheartedly agreeing and putting his Helen: (shaking her head slowly) No. arm around her shoulders as they walk over to the Jen: I anyone, you just hated yourself. God, if I group) Oh, Jen, you have no idea … had realised that, the past year would have been (Jen laughs again - they arrive at the group) so much easier for me. Pacey: (to Andie) Is this seat taken? Helen: I’m sorry, Jen. Andie: It is now. Jen: (with conviction) I know. (Pacey sits down) Helen: I guess now I have to stop worrying that Dawson: You know what I’m thinking? It’s been you’ll turn out like me. Because you’re already so kind of a while, you know, since we all ended up much stronger than I ever was. in the same spot together. I must say, it’s nice. (they both sniffle - Grams approaches and puts Jen: You know Dawson, you’re right. I feel like I’m her arms around Jen) in the middle of, ah, a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Helen: I guess I should be going. special. Grams: Bye Helen. Andie: (excitedly) Oh, I loved that one. That’s the Jen: Bye mom. Call me sometime. one where they all eat on the ping-pong table, but Helen: I will. it keeps collapsing, and then they end up making (She shuts the door and drives off) the popcorn. Grams: You alright? Joey: Yeah, well, I think a group hug is a little Jen: Yeah. I’ll be fine. premature, however. I’m sure we’ll find a way to (Grams goes back to the house - Jen sees Andie, be estranged again in no time. Jack, Joey and Dawson sitting at a campfire - Dawson: Well, before we do, I would just like to Pacey comes up besides Jen on his bike) say that in a world where people who raise you Jen: (smiles) Pacey. What are you doing here? end up letting you down, it’s an honour and Pacey: Oh, I just couldn’t do it. You know, I got privilege to have you guys to turn to. right up to my front door, and I thought to myself, Joey: Well, I can’t wait for the Oscar speech - I ‘what the hell am I doing here?’ I mean honestly, mean, there’s not going to be a dry eye in the who would I rather be spending my time with-my house. family who thinks I’m an idiot, or my friends, who (The group sit around the fire, drinking from mugs think I’m an idiot? and chatting) (they begin walking towards the group) (Ending credits) Jen: Well, I’m glad that you’re here.

71 Four To Tango

[Dawson’s bedroom] Dawson: What are you doing in my room in the (Pacey and Jen are making out furiously on middle of a school day? Dawson’s bed. Then, suddenly they pull away.) Pacey: Just playing some Crash Bandicoot. What Jen: Nothing. are you doing home? Pacey: Nothing! Ahh! You? Dawson: I had a dentist appointment. I came Jen: Nothing. back to get my books. Pacey: (Groans) Pacey: You, uh, have any cavities? Jen: God, Pacey, this is weird. Dawson: No. How—how did you get in? Pacey: It really is. It’s the damnedest thing. I Pacey: Is that clock right on the VCR? Cuz if it is, mean, how are we supposed to have some lurid, man, I should really be getting to school. purely sexual affair if every time we get together— (Pacey gets up and walks to the door.) Jen: There’s no sexual tension. Dawson: Aren’t you forgetting something? Pacey: Nada. Pacey: I don’t think so. Jen: Zilch. Dawson: You sure? Pacey: (sighs) Pacey: Pretty sure, yea. Both: If its me—No, it’s not you, it’s me. Dawson: Cuz you’re only wearing one shoe. Jen: No, no I mean we’re both—we’re both two (The camera pans down to see Pacey’s feet, only highly sexually charged people one of the with a shoe on. Pacey chuckles.) Pacey: Absolutely! Look at our track records. [Credits] Jen: Oh yeah. [Outside Capeside High] Pacey: We’re all that and then some, thank you (Andie’s sitting at a table. Jack walks up to join very much. her. He carries severa sheets of paper in his Jen: And look at the measures that we’ve gone hands.) through today. Jack: Hey. Pacey: (rising on the bed) We’ve come properly Andie: Oh my God, I hope that is not your report equipped— on Manifest Destiny, because mine is only four Jen: And we’ve picked the perfect locale. paragraphs. Pacey: Absolutely. You know, Dawson and Mr. Jack: No, no. Remember when Dawson did that Leery both at school for the afternoon, window’s story about me joining the football team on the always open, this was sheer genius on your part. web? Jen: Grams always said that that ladder was an Andie: Yea. invitation to sin. Jack: These are e-mails from people who saw it. (Pacey raises his eyebrows. They kiss again Andie: Oh, Jack, this is amazing. I mean look how passionately. They pull away abruptly and both many people you reached. sigh.) Jack: No, look, I didn’t exactly reach everybody. Pacey: Just starting to get depressing. Check this out. (He picks up a paper and reads.) (They sit on the edge of the bed and start to put “Dear Homo, Too bad Capeside didn’t make it to on their shoes.) regionals. Our linebackers are looking forward to Jen: All right, I’ll tell you what, why don’t we give it playing smear the queer. a week, keep trying in hopes that whatever sexual Andie: Oh my God, that’s so sad. I mean, some spark once flickered will burn again. poor dumb cheerleader is wasting all of her prime (A door slams somewhere in the house.) boy-chasing years on that closet case. (She goes Pacey: Whoa, did you just hear somebody come through the papers) ‘Kay this one looks good. into the house? “Dear Jack, Saw the stor about you on the web. (Jen looks at him nervously for a moment, then Have you been deluged with letters addressed they both make a run for it. Jen goes out through ‘Dear Homo?’ If not, then they’ll come soon. the window. Pacey throws on his jacket, then That’s what happened to me when I took another dives onto the floor and grabs the Playstation guy to the prom last year and the story got picked controller. Just as he does, Dawson enters.) up by the AP wire.” Dawson: Pacey. Jack: Who’s that from? Pacey: Hey, man, what’s happening? Andie: Um, some guy named Ben. Ben Street. “If you ever need to talk t someone who’s been there

72 and lived to tell, you can find me in the pink pages Andie: Okay. Oh, so it would be like, if I were under out teens.” searching for, say, a boyfriend, then I’d want to Jack: (taking it from her) Give me that. meet a lot of people and get to know them and Andie: Gotcha. You should write him back, he eliminate the incompatible ones. sounds like a nice guy. Jack: You know, you really should have your own Jack: Yea, I’m gonna write him back. He- he’s a website, www.annoyingsister.com. total stranger. What would I say? Andie: Hahaha, Jack. Ok, I really think that you Andie: I don’t know. Say anything. It worked for should write this guy Ben back. I mean, he seems John Cusack. (She rises) Ok, gotta go. Bye. super nice and he only lives two towns over. I [Capeside High Guidance Counselor’s Office] mean, you guys could end up being friends or.. (Pacey throws open the door and immediately Jack: Or what? begins addressing the counselor who stands Andie: Or whatever. nearby.) Jack: Please. Pacey: All right, whatever it is, I didn’t do it. But if I Andie: What? You worried that he has a did do it, then I just want you to know I take full boyfriend? Let me assure you, a lot can happen and complete responsibility for all of my actions. between May and November. I mean, prom guy Counselor: This isn’t a disciplinary matter, Pacey. could be completely out of the picture by now. (He motions for Pacey to have a seat.) Please. Jack: Andie, stop it. (He sits down at his desk.) You’re here because Andie: Jack, you have to seize the day! If you when Mr. Milo sent your file over to me, you don’t, I’ll do it for you. (Jack sits paralyzed staring jumped immediately to the top ten of my most in at the computer screen. An instant message has need of guidance list. And when I started talking come up from Ben Street reading “Anybody out to your teachers— there?”) Jack? What? Someone just instant Pacey: Uh-oh. messaged you. Just hit—oh my God, it’s Ben Counselor: You’re failing math, Pacey. Street! It’s him! It’s him! Pacey: I’m failing? Jack: Yeah, yeah I know. What do I do here? Counselor: I’m afraid the only other grades How do I make this thing go away? you’ve got going here are four D-pluses and one Andie: You don’t make it go away. He’s talking to very lonely C-minus. Want to tell me why that is? you, say something! Pacey: Just lazy, I guess. Jack: Now? Counselor: Has there been some trouble at Andie: Yea, he’s waiting. home? Any- any sort of change in your family Jack: Yeah, but it— situation? Andie: Type. Pacey: No, it’s nothing like that. Jack: I—I don’t know what I’m— Counselor: Mr. Milo mentioned something about Andie: Type! Go on! a girlfriend being sick. Jack: All right. (He slowly types “hi.”) Pacey: She’s not my girlfriend anymore. Andie: Ok, well you have to hit send. Counselor: I’m sorry to hear that. (He hits send and the message appears on the Pacey: Yea, you and me both, but life goes on, screen.) doesn’t it? Listen, you think I could get out of [Capeside High School Hallway] here? I’m probably missing a filmstrip or (Joey walks down the hall on the way to her something. (Pacey gets up and goes to the door.) locker. Pacey runs up to her.) Counselor: You seem like a good kid, Pacey. Pacey: Hey, Joey. Joey, how are you doing? My, Whatever’s eating at you these days, don’t let it you are looking absolutely ravishing today. Is that win, okay? a new- uh, hair thing-a-ma-jig you got going Pacey: Maybe it already has. there? [Capeside High Computer Lab] Joey: You need my notes from today’s class that (Andie and Jack are on two computers.) you missed. Andie: Ok, 40,000 hits? I must be doing Pacey: You missed me, huh? something wrong. Joey: Oh, how could I miss you? It’s so much Jack: (looking at her screen) Oh, well you can’t do easier to see the board without your big fat head a search on such a broad topic like democracy. in the way. (She opens her locker.) I need these You have to decide what you want, what you don’t back by tomorrow morning. (She hands him the want, and then, you know, establish some paper.) restrictions. Pacey: (he reads it.) What’s a cosine? 73 Joey: You don’t know what a cosine is? You’re Penny: (walks up to Joey and Pacey and tries to never gonna catch up by midterms. correct their form.) What did I say about ribcages Pacey: You’re absolutely right. I’m not. Not touching? And refresh my memory, who’s leading unless, of course, you— here? Joey: Look, I’m not gonna help you, Pacey. I’ve Pacey: I’m trying, but Janet Reno here doesn’t been busting my butt all semester while you’ve exactly make it easy on a fella, you know what I’m been—ah, who knows what the hell you’ve been saying? doing lately. Joey: Like you even know how, Pacey. Pacey: I’ve been busy. Penny: (to Pacey) You lead. (She walks away.) Joey: Busy, right. Pacey, you have a very Pacey: We’ll just give it the old college try, shall undemanding part-time job, your only familial we? obligation is to feed the dog everyday, and your Joey: Oh, don’t get too close. Ow! social life is basically a triangle consisting of you, (She gets frustrated and stands on his feet. He me and Dawson. (They get to the stairs and start dances around stupidly. Penny walks by.) going up.) Joey: Stop! Pacey: Ok, listen. Truth be told, I’m failing math [Dawson’s bedroom] right now. Yeah, so if you could find it in your (Dawson picks up some books and his jacket. heart to explain all this trig stuff to me, I’ll do While he’s doing this he notices something. He anything you want. picks it up and examines it. It’s a condom.) Joey: Anything? [Oustide Capeside High] [Starlight Dance Studio] (Joey and Pacey walk together.) (Joey and Pacey are attempting to dance. Several Joey: Here, this is your assignment for study hall. others are there too. Instead of being in dance I want you to do all the even problems on page position, they are far apart, holding each other’s 107. And show your work, don’t just copy the hands. Kind of like Anna and the King in The King answers out of the back of the book. and I.) Pacey: You know, if I had known the sadistic Penny: Slow quick quick. Good footwork, people! pleasure you were gonna take out of tutoring me, I Joey: Ow! never woulda let you have such free reign. Pacey: Maybe you should probably tell me what Joey: Look, we’re gonna spend an hour after I’m doing here before the other nine suffer the school doing math and then we’re gonna go back same fate. to— Joey: You expect me to believe that you actually Pacey: I—I know, the Starlight foundation for have control over those lead feet of yours? (he another afternoon’s torture at the hands of Miss steps on her foot again.) Ow! Pacey! Penny Pretty. You do realize how absolutely Pacey: I’m sorry! imperative it is that no one, and I mean no one, Joey: Look, every year the Starlight school offers find out about our after school activities, because a $1,500 scholarship to the high school student on the sliding scale of embarrassing and who best exemplifies the spirit and grace of decidedly non-butch activities for a teenage male ballroom dancing. If you look around, there about to be involved in, waltzing is right up there with six people who wear their teeth to bed, let alone painting your own pottery. go to high school with us. Joey: Pacey, do you really think I’m eager to have Pacey: Which would make you—what? A shoo- this information disseminated to the general in? public? Joey: I do have to complete at least one of the Pacey: Perfect, then were in agreement. two week courses. (Transcriber’s Note: He actually said agreeance, Pacey: Why didn’t you get Dawson to do this with but I think agreement is what he meant.) you? Or Jack for that matter? Joey: Exactly. Joey: Because they don’t owe me like you will Pacey: No one is to find out. after I perform CPR on your math grade. Joey: No one. (Dawson comes up from behind.) Pacey: So that’s the trade-off. Dawson: Find out what? Joey: Mmm-hmm. Joey: Nothing. Pacey: One study session for one dance class. Pacey: No, no we can tell him. It’s Dawson, right? Joey: That’s the trade off. (Joey glares at Pacey nervously.) We were—we Pacey: (sarcastically) Excellent. were just discussing the fact that I am really awful

74 at home improvement and decor, right? How are Dawson: (he consults a chart) Um, he isn’t in till you with a roller? Tuesday. Dawson: I can hold my own? Jen: But he told me that he was working today. I Pacey: Fantastic! Cuz the Pacey J. Witter must’ve gotten him confused. Memorial addition to the Potter family home is in Dawson: That’s not too surprising considering desperate need of painters and plasterers, all what a flake he’s been lately. (Dawson walks over union wages. to the shelf and stocks some videos.) There aren’t Dawson: (warily) Count me in. any especially do-able new faculty members I Pacey: That’s good to hear. All right, so Joey? don’t know about, are there? (He motions her to leave.) Jen: Pfft. What? Joey: Yeah. Dawson: Well the last time Pacey was acting this Pacey: Yeah, okay let’s do that. weird, I ended up with taped outtakes of him and (Pacey and Joey walk away.) Miss Jacobs performing tree surgery at the ruins. Joey: See ya. Jen: What you don’t—you don’t think that Pacey’s Dawson: Hold on, Pacey. I wanna talk to you for older woman fetish has returned with a a sec. vengeance, do you? Pacey: Yes—I, uh can’t talk at all right now. I’m Dawson: I don’t know what to think. really trying to stay off of Mr. Milo’s top ten most Jen: But you’re definitely thinking something. tardy list. Can I—can I get ya after school? Yea, Dawson: Yeah, I ... yesterday I came back to my okay. house in the middle of the day and I found Pacey [Capeside High Computer Lab] sprawled out on my bedroom floor. (Andie looks on as Jack types.) Jen: Wow. Was he alone? Andie: Have you asked about prom guy yet? Dawson: Yeah, he was playing Crash Bandicoot. Jack: All right, they were never really dating, Jen: (smiling) Dawson, I hope that’s not one of okay? They just did the whole prom thing as a— your clever euphemisms for.. as a statement. Dawson: (laughs) No, it’s just a video game. Andie: Oh, political commitment. I like that, in Jen: Good. moderation of course. Well, what else? Dawson: But—here’s the weird thing, all right? Jack: Uh, he’s a saxophonist, um, huge Charlie Later that night, I found a condom on my floor, Parker fan, all-conference track. and then when I asked Pacey about it this Andie: Hmm, sounds hot. What’s he look like? morning, he and Joey were huddled together like Jack: Ah, come on, that’s not important. it was some sort of conspiracy. (A librarian is listening to them.) Jen: Has- has- has, uh he said anything to you? I Andie: Well, yea but he saw you on the web in mean, have you- have you talked at all with him your uniform. It’s only fair. yet? Jack: We’re just writing here, it’s not like we’re Dawson: No, he- he took off and he’s been going on a date. dodging me ever since. Andie: Yet. Jen: Hmm. Librarian: You know, I dated a guy from the [Capeside High Classroom] internet once. Hideous. (Pacey walks around frantically while Joey looks Jack: I’m gon—I’m gonna get that picture, yea. on.) Andie: Two. One formal, one casual. No baseball Pacey: Can we take a break, please? hats, baggy sweaters or other articles of deceiving Joey: We just took a break. No wonder you’re so clothing. far behind. I swear, Alexander can sit still longer [Screen Play Video] than you can. (Jen enters with a mischievous smile. There’s no Pacey: You don’t understand, okay? It’s just that one behind the counter. She rings the bell. She recently, whenever I crack a book to study, its like looks disappointed as Dawson comes in from the I automatically want to be doing something else, back.) anything else. I mean, it seems to me that under Dawson: Jen, hey what are you doing here? the previous regimes in my life, every time I was Shouldn’t you be off campaigning for prom studying, I was given a reward. queen? Joey: I offered you Chex mix. Jen: Very funny, Dawson. No, actually I’m—I’m Pacey: And I’m not talking about Chex mix. I’m working on a project with Pacey. It’s a human talking about Tamara and I’m talking about Andie. growth and development thing. Is he here? 75 Let’s just say that those two ladies, they trained Jack: What? Oh, come on this is completely me to acquaint studying with.. empirical. I mean, anyone would be attracted to Joey: With what? that—extremely attractive guy. Pacey: Sex. I acquaint studying with sex, sex with Andie: And I sense a blush. studying. Now I get studying, but no sex, you Jack: (reads the Instant Message) “So what do understand? So it’s a little hard to get motivated you think?” He- he wants to know what I think. these days. Andie: Okay, so you tell him that that you think Joey: So what you’re saying is that you’re merely that he should travel two towns over. the innocent victim in some behavioral psychology Jack: No, I can’t do that. experiment gone horribly awry? Andie: You can and you will. Pacey: Yeah. Jack: Andie, come on, this is way, way too fast. Joey: (She moves seductively towards him.) And Andie: Okay, so you tell him that you want to that you’re desperately in need of some able- meet for coffee. I mean I can go with you, if you bodied female to help you provoke those want. preconditioned Pavlovian homework responses? Jack: Yeah, that will be a lot of fun. Pacey: Yes. Andie: Ok, Jack, agree to meet at some very Joey: That is the worst pick-up line I have ever safe, very well-lit public place. I mean, it’s not like heard, Pacey. we haven’t done an extensive background check Pacey: Thanks, Toots, but I wasn’t hittin’ on ya. I’ll on the guy to know that he’s for real. have you know I have my own prospects, thanks. Jack: Look, I can’t, all right? Look at me, I’m Joey: (laughs) Like who? shaking. Pacey: (laughs) For right now, they would prefer Andie: Fine, Jack. You’re just nervous. Here. to remain anonymous, but let me tell you, they’ve (She takes the keyboard.) Um, the picture was made it clear to me in no uncertain terms that great. What can I say? Want to meet tonight. For should the mutual desire occur, that they will be coffee? more than willing to take care of all my physical Both: (reading Ben’s reply) I thought you’d never needs, you understand? ask. Joey: So is this a potential relationship or are we Andie: Oh! talking a free-trade agreement? [Screen Play Video Front Window] Pacey: All right, listen. If you had the opportunity (Jen hangs a poster while Dawson hangs up a to be with somebody, no questions asked, no noose from the ceiling.) strings attached, no awkward first dates, no Jen: Dawson, I don’t know how the hell you waiting by the phone, no any of that. Totally on suckered me into helping you with your centennial the surface. 100% casual. What would you do? Hitchcock window display. Would you go for it? Dawson: It needed a woman’s touch. Joey: A totally empty, emotionally unfulfilling Jen: Oh, I suppose that’s where Pacey usually sexual experience? That sounds great. comes in, huh? Pacey: You’re not listening to me. I’m being Dawson: No, Pacey’s usually in the back sleeping serious, but it’s kind of a limited-time offer, so I while I’m doing this. just thought I’d ask you, what do you think? Jen: All right. (She notices something out the Joey: Pacey, I think that if you really wanted to be window.) Well, maybe he’s rediscovered his work having causal sex with someone right now, you’d ethic. be doing it instead of sitting here having a Dawson: What do you mean? hypothetical discussion about it. That’s what I Jen: Pacey, 2 o’clock. (She points out the window think. to where Pacey is walking across the street. Joey [Capeside Computer Lab] joins him.) Is that Joey? (Dawson joins her at the (Andie and Jack sit anxiously staring at the window.) computer screen.) Jen: Dawson, do you have one of those littls Andie: Oh, come on already. signs that says ‘back in 5?’ Jack: Yeah, ok, all right. (A picture begins to load Dawson: Yeah. on the screen.) All right, it’s—it’s happening. [Starlight Dance Studio] Andie: Ooo, not bad. (Pacey and Joey dance together, smiling. Jen and Jack: You’re not kidding. Dawson stare at them stupefied.) Andie: Jack, did you actually express attraction to a member of the male species? 76 Jen: Ok, so Joey and Pacey are auditioning for Penny: There’s enough sexual tension here to Capeside Dinner Theater’s version of ‘Strictly power a Kiss reunion tour. I can’t remember the Ballroom.’ Let’s get out of here. last time I saw dancing this bad. True. Dawson: Right behind you. Dawson: Wait a minute, just because they can’t (As they try to exit, Penny stops them and moves dance you think that they’re— them into the room.) Penny: Well, it’s this theory that I’ve developed Penny: Excellent! Two more young people eager based on years of experience. If people dance to learn the sophisticated art of ballroom dancing. that badly, then they’re usually hot for each other. And people say kids these days have no The dancing doesn’t lie. (To the class) All right, appreciation for the finer things in life. people. Let’s take it from the top! Jen: Actually we’re not here to dance. [The Ryan House. Jack’s room.] Dawson: We’re looking for some friends. (Andie enters to find Jack walking nervously.) Penny: Okay, good. Well, while you look, you Andie: Hey, Mrs. Ryan let me in. Is that what dance, okay? Attention, everybody! Looks like we you’re wearing? have yet another set of delightful young people Jack: Good night, Andie. joining our class. Must be something in the air. Andie: No, I just like you better in blue. I mean, (The class applauds. Joey and Pacey are you look fine, better than fine, you always look confused. Jen and Dawson smile awkwardly.) fine, i mean Marky Mark fine— [Starlight Dance Studio] Jack: (closes the door) Yea, all right, I sense a (Pacey and Joey dance close to Dawson and pep talk coming on. Jen.) Andie: Ok, Jack. Look, I’m your sister and I love Pacey: And what, pray tell, are you two doing you and your romantic future is vitally important to here? me, because if I wind up an embittered old maid Jen: Just enjoying the fine art of ballroom I’m coming to live with you and your boyfriend. dancing. Jack: So you’re fairly certain that I’m actually Penny: (observes Dawson and Jen.) Didn’t I say gonna have a boyfriend? you two would be naturals? (She nods to Pacey Andie: Sure. and Joey.) Much better than these two and Jack: It hasn’t occurred to you that this whole they’ve been here all week. But you used to date, online thing could be a complete disaster? didn’t you? Andie: Okay, Jack. Worst case scenario, you Jen: Uh, not right now, okay? show up, you meet each other, you hate each Penny: I’m right, aren’t I? You dated, it didn’t work other, you drink your mochachinos and you go out, but then you got past all your issues and now your separate ways. I mean, that’s not gonna you actually trust each other, right? See, you can happen, Jack. I have a really good feeling about see that in the dancing. You can see that the trust this. is there. (She looks back at Pacey and Joey.) Now Jack: I’m glad someone does. these two, on the other hand, a whole different Andie: Jack, there’s no need to be nervous, I story. I mean, look at them. Look at their form. mean, Ben obviously likes you. Look at the tension in their arms. Jack: I don’t even know Ben. You know, Ben Pacey: Okay, is there some sort of problem here? doesn’t know me. Penny: Well, what did I say about rib cages Andie: Thus the reason for having coffee. touching? Jack: Andie, this is different. This is a whole new Joey: No, sorry. level of my life that I don’t know if I’m ready for. Penny: Can we do that? When I walk through that door and I say hello to Pacey: It’s just not gonna happen, all right? this guy, my entire life is gonna be different. I’m Penny: Right, see what I mean? See the hostility, not just gonna be telling the world that I’m gay. I’m the way they’re wary with each other, not to actually gonna be gay. mention the constant bickering and name calling. Andie: Jack, you’ll be gay anyway. I mean, if you Now these two clearly are in the early stages of don’t go you’ll be gay and without a boyfriend. some screwball mating ritual. Jack: Yeah. Pacey: What? Andie: Ok. Joey: Ok, you’ve got it wrong, Lady. [Starlight Dance Studio] Penny: Really, I do? (Penny is on the stage with a microphone before Pacey: Oh, completely. the class.) Joey: Actually, you could not be more wrong. 77 Penny: Ok, people, we’re gonna play a little Dawson: Scholarship? game. I want you to consider this musical partners Joey: And I needed a partner, so— instead of musical chairs. (She begins to pair Dawson: So, why’d you ask Pacey? Why didn’t people) I want you two, you two, you two, you two, you just ask me? you two (pairs Jen) Thank you, you two. (She Joey: Pacey came to me first. He needed help pairs Dawson with Pacey. They look confused.) with math, I needed help with this. That’s what Pacey: What? No, I think you must’ve made some friends do, Dawson. They help each other. sort of mistake here— Dawson: That’s all you guys are is friends? Penny: Come on, children. Play nice. (to the Joey: (nods) class) Ok, we are going to dance happily, Penny: And switch! (Pacey tears Joey away from joyously, enthusiastically because we love to Dawson.) dance! Now when you hear the music stop and I Pacey: Excuse me, just for a second. I need to yell switch, I want you to stop dancing and reach talk to you. (They dance.) for the nearest available partner, all right? Joey: What is wrong with him? (Jen has been paired with Joey and they stare Pacey: Uh, nothing really. It’s just, um, Dawson uneasily at each other.) seems to think that we’re doing it. Jen: So, when did you and Pacey discover your Joey: What? mutual love of ballroom dancing. Pacey: Well, you know, having sex. Getting to Joey: Obviously just moments before you and know each other in the biblical sense, uh— Dawson did. Joey: Pacey, that’s impossible. And he would (Camera goes back to Dawson and Pacey.) never think that. Dawson: I can’t get over how weird it was to see Pacey: No, not under normal circumstances, but you in my room the other day. What’s going on? in this case, I think certain events were perhaps Pacey: What? Not everybody’s got the dazzling misconstrued— array of electronics available to them in their Joey: What events? bedroom that you do. Penny: Switch! Dawson: And that’s the only reason that you were Pacey: Well, I just-- (Dawson darts across the in my house when I wasn’t there. room and pulls Pacey away. They dance.) Pacey: No, no, no, there’s always the lure of the Dawson: Ok, so do you wanna just tell me what’s Leery kitchen which, I have to say, has kind of lost going on? its luster in Mitch’s reign of terror. Pacey: It’s not what you think, Dawson, not even Dawson: So what was the condom for? close. Pacey: What? Dawson: How do you know what I think? Dawson: The condom I found in my room. Pacey: Well because, man, it’s written all over Penny: Switch! your face, ok? Yes, me and Joey have been Pacey: Excuse me for a second— spending a lot of time together recently because (he leaves Dawson and literally picks Jen up and we’ve been here trying to learn how to ballroom pulls her to the other side of the room. They begin dance and then she’s teaching me a little to dance.) trigonometry. You know what’s much more Pacey: We’re dead. He found the condom. interesting to me is that of all the possible blonde Jen: I know, I’ve already talked to him about it. I and brunette combinations of women that you and wouldn’t worry. I both know, the first one that popped into your Pacey: Really? You don’t think Dawson’s gonna mind is Joey. Now why is that, do you think? mind that we’ve been mapping out each other’s Dawson: Pacey, you’re not going to get out of this erogenous zones between his sheets? by attempting to psycho-analyze me. Jen: The question’s moot. He’s not on to us. Pacey: I’m just asking a simple question, Dawson. Pacey: He’s not? You and Joey—she’s not your girlfriend anymore. Jen: No. Well, at least he’s not on to me. He’s Dawson: You’re right, she’s not. cast somebody else as the female lead. Pacey: Right, so then why are we having this (They both look over at Joey who’s dancing with conversation? You see where I’m going with this? Dawson.) I mean, you’re the same guy who told me a Dawson: So when did you discover your love for couple weeks ago that the two of you just needed ballroom dancing? to go your separate ways. Joey: I read about some scholarship that they Dawson: Yea, we do need to go our separate were having. ways. It just never occurred to me- 78 Pacey: That what? That she would actually go her Jen: Ok, how about the fact that our mothers separate way, too? Or perhaps it didn’t occur to teach us to be embarrassed about sex... or that you that her separate way would include a we live in a country that thinks violence is cool but stopover at me, is that what it is? God, man! This gets squeamish whenever two people under legal is the way it always is with you! You talk and talk, voting age start using the correct terms for each but you don’t listen to yourself. You say you’re others body parts. over her, but you’re not. They’re just words, they (Pacey puts his arm around her. After a moment, don’t mean anything to you. he brings his head close to hers.) Dawson: You don’t know what you’re talking Jen: Pacey, is this your not-so-subtle way of about. telling me that you’re ready for a return to Witch Pacey: Look at that girl, Dawson. (motions Island? towards Joey who’s staring into space as she Pacey: Maybe it was the dancing, or perhaps it’s dances with an old man.) Just take a good look. just the romantic setting of this coatroom, but I am She’s a freaking goddess, man. How long did you definitely getting that witchy feeling. think it was gonna be before some guy comes [Streets of Capeside] along and is interested in her? I mean, really, (Jack is walking down the street. He comes to the dude! And when that happens, what are you door. He looks inside and sees Ben. Ben talks gonna do? briefly to a waiter, nodding. He doesn’t see Jack. Dawson: I’m just gonna take it all as it comes. Jack looks nervous. There’s a hand on a Pacey: You’re gonna take it as it comes. Oh doorknob.) great, well perhaps you should start figuring out [Starlight Dance Studio] right now because the guy that comes along is not (Dawson opens a door leading back to the gonna be your best friend and he’s not gonna ask coatroom. Joey is with him.) for your permission. The guy that comes along is Dawson: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to accuse you of gonna take one look at that woman and then just anything, but something really strange is going on cut right in on ya. here. If Pacey’s not sleeping with you, he’s Dawson: What are you hiding, Pacey? definitely sleeping with somebody. Pacey: What? (They round the corner and find Pacey and Jen Dawson: All this analysis of my love life doesn’t making out in the corner. Joey’s jaw drops. change the fact that you haven’t answered my Dawson lets out a surprised chuckle.) original question. Why did I find that condom? [Starlight Dance Studio Coatroom] Pacey: (turns away from Dawson) Why do I (Dawson and Joey stand stupefied before Jen and bother? Pacey, who are lip to lip.) Penny: Switch! (Pacey walks away. Joey and Dawson: Whoa, what do we have here? Dawson watch him go. Jen hurries after him.) (Jen and Pacey pull apart, surprised to see [Starlight Dance Studio Coatroom] Dawson and Joey.) (Pacey reaches for his coat angrily. Jen is right Pacey: It’s... nothing, right? behind him.) Jen: Yea, nothing. Pacey: God, I don’t believe that guy! Dawson: Doesn’t look like nothing. Jen: Pacey, chill out. Pacey: Believe me, man, we’ve done exhaustive Pacey: Here we are again, though I have to say research in this area. It’s nothing. the storyline is starting to stretch the limits of Jen: Pacey and I are just friends. believability. Joey: Is that what the kids are calling it these Jen: Meaning what? days? You guys are so stupid. You’re both gonna Pacey: Meaning that we’re two red-blooded get hurt by this. American teenagers who, weeks ago, made the Pacey: Nobody is gonna get hurt by this. enlightened decisions not to keep our bodies to Jen: We both agreed that neither of us have our ourselves and what do we have to show for it? emotions in it. Nothing. Nothing, how is that possible? I mean, Joey: And you’re proud of that fact? I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure this out and Jen: Joey, we were just messing around. frankly, I’m just drawing a blank. Joey: Dawson— Jen: Pacey, it’s for about a million different Dawson: They lost me at nothing. reasons. Joey: Pacey, this isn’t you, I mean, Jen maybe Pacey: Really? Do you think you could hit me with you’re trying to prove something to somebody a couple so it would make me feel better? about— 79 Pacey: What? Hey, slow down, this was as much Jen: Pacey, I saw the way that you overreacted to my decision as it was hers, okay? Dawson. I saw the way that Joey overreacted to Joey: So is that why you named your boat ‘True us. I know that you’re having trouble in math these Love?’ Because you think it’s okay for casual days, but it doesn’t take Einstein to get the sum acquaintances or even friends to just, you know, total of these two overreactions. use each other as scratching posts. Pacey: You’re gonna have to explain this one to Pacey: I knew you weren’t gonna understand. me because I gotta be missing something here. Joey: You know what? I understand. I understand You’re talking about Joey Potter, right? The one just fine. (she leaves) who can’t walk into the same room with me (Dawson sighs and looks at them with a confused without gagging, huh? That Joey Potter? There’s smile. He follows Joey.) nothing going on between us. Jen: I’ve never in my life seen somebody so Jen: No, Pacey. There’s nothing between us. No worked up over just a kiss. matter what we do, it’s not gonna work out Pacey: I don’t think it was just the kiss. between us. Jen: What do you mean? Pacey: No, it’s not, is it? Pacey: I mean that Joey knows about our Jen: No. Are you disappointed? arrangement. Pacey: Yea, I’m disappointed. And at the same Jen: How could she possibly know, Pacey? time...I think I’m also a little relieved. Pacey: Because I went to her for some Jen: Me too. I’m gonna go. hypothetical advice, but when she saw us kissing, Pacey: Okay. I’m pretty sure she figured out that it wasn’t so Jen: See ya, Pacey. (She leaves. After a moment hypothetical. she comes back.) You know what, Pacey? Thanks Jen: You went to Joey for advice about us? for nothing. (She gives him a kiss on the cheek.) Pacey: Yea I know, not so smart, huh? (Pacey smiles as he watches her go.) Jen: Smart or not smart, it’s just funny you went to [The Ryan Kitchen] her. (Jack enters. Andie’s sitting at the table.) Pacey: Well, I wouldn’t say that I went to her. I Jack: What are you still doing here? mean, she just kind of happened to be there. We Andie: Anxiously awaiting to be regaled with first were studying— date stories. Jen: Can I ask you something, Pacey? What is it Jack: Well they tell me in order to have first date about her? stories you actually have to have a first date. Pacey: What? Andie: What happened? Jen: She’s obviously got something that makes Jack: I can’t get into this with you. You’re just boys in emotional turmoil just flock to her. gonna get on me about how I handled it. Pacey: Come again? Andie: Jack, that’s not fair. You’re always the one Jen: Come on, Dawson’s the same way. who’s scraping me off the concrete. Can’t I return Whatever small problem got to him, he went the favor? straight to Joey. Jack: I didn’t even go in, okay? I panicked. I got Pacey: So who else would you have me talk to? I there, looked through the window and I saw him can’t exactly go to Andie with something like this, sitting there, waiting for me. Then I saw this so I guess I’m supposed to commune with Deputy couple, this girl and this guy, and when I saw Doug, then? them it...when I saw them, at that moment, I didn’t Jen: Dawson. Why couldn’t you just go to wanna be me. I wanted to be them, and I got so Dawson? upset that I just left. So I guess when it comes Pacey: (chuckles) right down to it, I’m just not brave enough to walk Jen: Unless, of course, you don’t feel comfortable through the door. talking to him about your sex life, considering— Andie: Jack, you are so brave. I mean, your entire Pacey: Considering what? life you have been nothing but brave. Jen: That your current girl Friday used to be his. Jack: Not this time. I mean, I keep taking these Pacey: Ok, now correct me if I’m wrong, but baby steps, but I’m not getting anywhere, you Dawson Leery didn’t actually know about you and know? I’m not getting any braver. I until, what, two minutes ago. Andie: Don’t be so hard on yourself. I mean, Jen: I’m not talking about us. that’s what fear is for. It’s- it’s life’s way of telling Pacey: What, Joey? This has nothing to do with us that we’re not ready for certain things. Joey! 80 Jack: Aren’t you the same girl who spent the past Dawson: The point is that you can’t control those week dragging me kicking and screaming towards feelings, Jo, even if they’re wrong, they’re there. my romantic destiny? They’re always there. You can understand that, Andie: Yea, but I know when to push and when can’t you? not to. It’s a little something I picked up from Joey: You know, I forgot my coat. I- I better go annoyingsister.com. Anyway Jack, when it’s right, inside and get it. you’ll know it. And that’s when you’ll walk through Dawson: Okay. that door. When you’re ready. Joey: Good night. [The streets of Capeside] Dawson: Good night, Joey. (Dawson and Joey walk down the street.) [Starlight Dance Studio] Dawson: If it makes you feel any better, what (Joey walks in with her coat. She sees Pacey at a happened was inevitable. table, watching the class. She’s about to go out, Joey: What was? but reconsiders. She walks over to Pacey) Dawson: What we just saw. All right, look at it Pacey: (motions for her to sit.) from a storytelling perspective. Pacey’s brooding, Joey: I forgot my coat. disillusioned, tough guy persona was destined to Pacey: Well yeah, you ran out of there in a bit of a collide with Jen’s fake sexual bravado. It was hurry, didn’t ya? Look, if it makes you feel any inevitable. better, we never actually slept together. I mean, Joey: Dawson, you’re the ultimate romantic! How not even close. could you not be more upset about this? Joey: It’s none of my business what you guys did Dawson: If Jen and Pacey want to mess around or didn’t do. I’m sorry I overreacted. in a coatroom, that’s their business. Pacey: Yeah, you did overreact, didn’t you? Joey: But Dawson, you don’t understand whats Joey: Don’t act so smug. I’m not saying you’re going on. They made some sort of casual sex right, or that I approve of what you guys are doing. pact. They’re just using each other. Pacey: Were doing. I’d say the time limit on the Dawson: Joey, we’re all guilty of that. At least limited time offer has probably run out now. they’re being up front about it. Joey: Oh. Joey: So you buy into this whole raging hormones Pacey: So, you got your coat. What made you theory? So you think it’s okay for two people who come in here? aren’t in love to just let their sexual impulses run Joey: Dawson. He convinced me to take pity on wild? your poor, misguided, testosterone-impaired self. Dawson: No, what I’m saying is if Jen and Pacey Pacey: He did that, did he? made some sort of agreement, I don’t think they Joey: ‘Fraid so. made it because they wanted sex. I think they Pacey: Man, guess I owe him another one, huh? wanted comfort. Joey: You do. (She rises and pulls him to his Joey: I’m sure that’s all they were doing in your feet.) Come on, let’s go. bed, Dawson. Providing each other with comfort. Penny: Hey, not so fast, you two. There’s a class Dawson: It’s not impossible. It’s all you and I ever about to start. did. (Joey stares at him angrily.) Aw, give ‘em a Joey: I think we’ve done enough dancing for a break, Jo. They’re just lonely. lifetime. Joey: Dawson, being lonely is no excuse to just Pacey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s not get too hasty throw yourself at the first available warm body. I here. We’ve still got a scholarship to work for, mean, could you sleep with someone that you right? didn’t love? Penny: Oh, about that scholarship. Things have Dawson: No. And neither could you. But I do been kind of tight here at the Starlight. understand the impulse. Joey: There’s no scholarship? Joey: What impulse? Penny: No, but what I can offer you is 6 months of Dawson: The impulse to... to put you hand out free dance lessons. and want someone there at the end of your reach, Joey: And what would we do with those? to- to want someone to be close to, to want to kiss Penny: The cha-cha, the rumba, the merengue, or touch, even if it’s wrong. when you’re ready, the tango. It’s the dance of Joey: That’s just it, Dawson. It’s wrong. If a kiss is love. just some purely physical thing, and if there’s Joey: Thanks, but no thanks. nothing else behind it, what’s the point?

81 Pacey: Come on, think about this for a second, (Joey pulls him out of the studio, both of them don’t be too hasty. We may have found our calling laughing.) in this dance studio. (Ending credits) Joey: Give it up, Pacey. You definitely were not that good.

82 First Encounters of the Close Kind

(Dawson’s bedroom - He’s editing his Witch Island Joey: Yeah! But in a good way. I mean, I know documentary - Grams is on the screen) we’re just visiting, but this trip kinda gives me Grams: And what happened there is proof hope. Maybe one day I will make it out of here. positive that the good Lord doesn’t take lightly to Dawson: (walking over to his closet) Hey Joey, it those who dabble in the black arts. never once crossed my mind that you wouldn’t (scene on television shows the boat moving off make it outta here. shore - Dawson walks around the room holding a Joey: It’s easy for you to say, Dawson. film reel when Joey throws an overnight bag in (he walks back towards Joey) through the window and then follows) Dawson: Come on, Jo, look at the original Dawson: (turns and faces her, chuckling) Nice impulse, look at this weekend as an adventure. entrance. Alright, I mean this is- this is our first fore into the Joey: (looks at the TV) Dawson, isn’t there a limit real world. You know, this weekend could be a on the number of times a person can watch their glimpse into the rest of our lives. own movie? Joey: Or, it- it could be the weekend when all of Dawson: I- I’ve gotta be prepared. We’ve got a Q our hopes and dreams just come crashing down & A session after the screening. around us, I mean, forcing us to withdraw from Joey: Oooh, ‘The Screening’. How Sundance. mainstream society and spend the rest of our (Joey begins to take her coat off) days as these cynical embittered shadows of our Dawson: Let’s not blow this completely out of former selves. proportion, shall we? (Dawson chuckles) (Dawson stares at his feet, then starts looking Joey: (smiles) It’s just a thought. around) (Cambridge University in panoramic view- Joey: What’s the matter? Dawson, Andie, Jack and Joey are strolling past Dawson: (quickly) Nothing. the buildings) Joey: (smiling) Could it be...? Dawson: I feel like Richard Dreyfuss from Close Dawson: What? (he is packing his own overnight Encounters of the Third Kind. You know, the bag) director’s cut where he finally boards the mother Joey: (sits on bed) Dawson Leery, the gifted, ship and meets with the aliens. young, self-motivated auteur; Capeside’s own Joey: News flash, Dawson. We are the aliens. Spielberg and wonder, can be nervous? Jack: So, what’re you thinkin’, sis? Dawson: Yeah. (sighs) Yeah, of course I am. I Andie: (motions around her) These students mean, it’s, you know, it’s one thing to be a big fish enjoy the distinction of attending America’s finest in the small pond that is Capeside- college. Founded in 1626, it was named after a Joey: But entirely another to swim in the talent British colonist who ended up donating his entire pool with hundreds of your egocentric competitors. collection of books. And the original faculty Dawson: (pointing at her) Exactly. And thankyou teaching here in the colonial wilderness could for that gut-wrenching visual. hardly have imagined that- that over the next Joey: Now I may be a little biased here, because, three centuries it would become known well, let’s face it, I am one of the stars of the throughout the world as a premier centre for movie, but, it’s really good. I mean, look at it this teaching and research. way - for better or worse, this experience will only Dawson: (laughs) You should write for the take you one step closer to realising your dreams. catalogue. (Dawson looks unconvinced) Jack: Aahh. It is the catalogue, Dawson. I think Joey: Besides, you don’t have to spend an entire she sent away for it when she was about nine. weekend with a complete stranger. Andie: (scoffs) Class of 2005, baby, early Dawson: It is kind of cruel and unusual. admissions - I’m gonna ace this interview. Joey: Yeah, well, I signed up for the College tour, (they all stop and pause) and they pair you off with one of the students. Joey: Well, I better go meet my room mate. Those are the rules. (reading from a piece of paper) Uh, A.J. Moller. Dawson: Are you nervous? Andie: Joey, you are gonna have a blast. I took the junior tour last year. Joey: (surprised) As a sophomore?

83 Andie: Early bird gets into college. (Joey is walking along a dorm hallway looking at (Dawson and Joey chuckle) the numbers - she stops and knocks at door #381 Dawson: What are you doing, Jack? and when there is no reply opens the door to find Jack: Uuh, just hang out, I guess, do the tours a guy sitting at his i-Book) thing. Joey: Excuse me. Dawson: (looking at his watch) Well, it is about A.J: Sshhh! that time. Joey: I’m sorry, I just- Jack: Yep. A.J: Shh, shh, shh, just a second. Andie: (excitedly) I am so psyched. (Joey sighs impatiently but waits a moment until Joey: Me too, (softer) me too. (she looks he finally looks up) nervously around) A.J: Yes, what is it? Andie: OK, bye. Joey: I’m looking for A.J Moller, is this her room? Joey: (waves) Bye. A.J: (closing a book and throwing it on the bed) Dawson: Bye. No, this is not her room. (Dawson approaches a girl, African American with Joey: She’s supposed to be my room mate for the long black braided hair, who is sitting behind a weekend; junior tour. Do you have any idea where desk at a computer and taking the entrants into I might find her? the film festival) A.J: Nope. Dawson: L- double E-R-Y. Joey: OK, well, the number on my information Nikki: First name? card says ‘Room 381’. Dawson: Dawson. A.J: I’m certain it does. Nikki: (extending her arm outwards) Movie Joey: And this is Room 381? please. A.J: You betcha! (Dawson hands over the film reel) Joey: And you can’t tell me where to find A.J Nikki: Which category, comedy or drama? Moller? Dawson: Documentary. Well, actually more of a- A.J: I didn’t say that. What I said was I didn’t know Nikki: Date of birth? where you could find her. Him, I can point you Dawson: Uh, three, fourteen, eighty-three. directly to. Nikki: Uh, favourite director? (Joey looks confused) Dawson: Spielberg. A.J: I’m A.J Moller. (holding up a card) That must (she looks up at him skeptically, eyebrows raised) make you (reading) Potter comma Joseph. I Nikki: You’re kidding? guess our gender ambiguous names have Dawson: (shaking his head) No. fostered a precarious situation. (she sighs, then walks over to place the film reel Joey: To say the least. on another table - Dawson follows) A.J: (patronising) Before you start crying and Nikki: Steven Spielberg. Undoubtedly a gifted film calling home, I promise to give you one of the maker, but I mean, come on, where’s the edge? beds. And if- if you’re really nice, I’ll even leave Dawson: The edge is (pauses) fleeting. Heart the light on for ya. lasts forever. Joey: (scoffs) I’m not staying here. I mean, this is Nikki: (eyebrows raised) Say ‘cheese’? not what I signed up for, OK? I’m supposed to be (the flash of a camera goes off) spending the weekend with someone who’s going Nikki: OK, sign here, and here. to show me what college is like, tell me what to (as Dawson signs his name on the release forms expect. Someone- he looks up to find Nikki staring at him) A.J: With ovaries? Nikki: This card will get you into the screenings. Joey: Yeah. (Dawson hands back the clipboard) A.J: Listen, Jo, Joseph? Nikki: You didn’t fill out a synopsis. Joey: It’s Josephine. Joey. Dawson: Not enough room. You see, uh, my film A.J: Joey, listen. (motioning around the room) started out as a documentary, chronicling the This is what college is like. Guys and girls living history of this so-called island which was thought together, mostly in harmony. I mean at Columbia, to be haunted, but- they even have co-ed bathrooms. And if you’re Nikki: Another Blair Witch Project. Gotcha. not up for that, maybe you should be visiting (walking back to other table) Good luck. Next! women’s colleges instead. (Dawson sighs) Joey: (throwing her bag on the floor in defiance) Look, maybe you’re right. There’s really no reason 84 two people of the opposite sex can’t spend one Fran: (kindly) Not a chance. night together in the same room. Andie: But, uh, I just want five minutes with the A.J: That’s my girl. Now, if you don’t mind, (Indian Dean, that’s all. Chief voice) Bigum college boy have important Fran: The thing is, everyone else here has an paper to write. Little highschool girl take long walk appointment. Today. around the campus. Andie: Uh-huh. Well, do you think something Joey: (incredulously) You’re kicking me out? might open up? A.J: You’re kicking yourself out, so I can have two Fran: Would you cancel your university interview more hours of unadulterated silence. at the last minute? Joey: That’s not- (Andie looks on in silence) A.J: Careful, careful. Say ‘fair’ and you’ll really be Fran: You see my point? showing your age. Oh, and uh, Potter comma (Andie walks away disappointed) Joseph, shut the door on your way out. Otherwise (Witch Island screening - it finishes and only a few I’m gonna have those idiot Econ majors playing people clap half-heartedly) Nerf basketball down the hall. Student: Been there, seen that. (to her friend) (Joey picks up her bag and leaves, slamming the Where do you want to go eat? door behind her) (Some MC gets up the front and speaks to the few (Andie is walking along and comes upon Jack, people left in the room) sitting on a bench looking at a book) MC: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if anyone has any Andie: Hey, what you got? questions or comments, uh, the film maker will be Jack: (stammers) Uh- just uh, you know, a glad to, uh, answer them for you. guidebook to Boston. (Dawson slowly sinks in his seat) Andie: Oh. OK, tell me you are not going off in MC: Mr Leery? (no-one gets up and Dawson sinks search of Thoreau’s butt-print at Walden Pond?? further in his seat) Dawson Leery, can you step up Jack: (laughs) No, I hadn’t planned on that. here please. Andie: Hey, you know what you should do? I (people start looking around and Dawson heard there’s a really great art museum around reluctantly stands up and walks down to the here. You should go check it out. podium - Nikki watches on) Jack: OK, maybe I will. Dawson: Hi (he speaks into the mic too loudly Andie: OK. Well, I gotta go. Bye. causing a feedback whine) Oops. Jack: See ya. (Some students laugh - the MC whispers in his (After Andie leaves Jack unrolls the book- it’s the ear) “Pink Pages 1999”) Dawson: Sorry. Uh, I’m Dawson Leery. Um, d-d- (Andie enters the admissions building- she walks does anyone, um, have any questions, or...? into the Dean’s secretary’s office where a lady of (all is painfully silent for a few seconds) about 60 years sits behind a desk) Girl: Yeah. Andie: Hi. I’m Andie McPhee. Dawson: (relieved) Yes, question! Fran: (looks at a sheet of paper) Mmm. Spell the Girl: Where’s the Joey chick - she here? She is last name, please. hot! Andie: M-C-P-H-E-E. (Outside the theatre - Dawson is walking away - (her computer bleeps) Nikki angles to meet him) Fran: It says here that your appointment isn’t until Nikki: Dawson. Are you all right? March. Either there’s something wrong with my Dawson: (snaps) Fine. calendar, or you’ve got a very long wait. Nikki: These screenings, they can get pretty Andie: Well, uh, Mrs (looking at name plate on brutal when the lights come up. her desk) Boyd- Dawson: I can handle that. I mean, so what if my Fran: Call me Fran. movie’s not hip enough to rouse the interest of Andie: Great. OK, well, my dad, Joseph McPhee, these pseudo-intellectual art-house snobs. is an alumnus, class of ‘72. And he always said, if Nikki: On the bright side. At least no-one threw you want something badly enough, make sure things. you’re first in line. Dawson: (sarcastic) Thank God for small favours. Fran: A daddy’s girl, huh? Me too, God rest his (he starts to walk away) soul. Nikki: You are upset. Andie: So, you think maybe you could squeeze Dawson: (turns and faces her) Wouldn’t you be? me in? 85 Nikki: I’m sorry about what happened in there, I back it up. What if I- I just simply don’t have what really am. But in light of The Blair Witch Project, I it takes to be a great filmmaker? don’t know what you were thinking. Joey: Dawson, I’ve been there from the Dawson: What? beginning. To most people, movies are just a way Nikki: Riding the coat-tails of some absurdly of passing time, but I was there that day that- that successful cultural phenomenon is simply not they became something more to you. The day you gonna cut it. I mean- decided to pick up your parents camcorder and Dawson: B- before you eviscerate my work any make a movie of your own. The day that you said further, why don’t you at least tell me your name? for the first time out loud that you were going to be Nikki: Nikki. Nikki Greene. a film maker. I’ve had the privilege of watching Dawson: Nice to meet you, Nikki. you take this dream and make it a reality. And you Nikki: Take this Joey character for example. I know what? mean, who is she, and- and what does she mean (Dawson looks at her) to you? Are you friends? Lovers? What? Nothing Joey: I’m really proud of you. was clear. More troubling was that you didn’t (Joey puts her arm around his shoulders) seem to understand that that was the most (The Dean’s secretary returns from lunch to find interesting part of your story. Andie waiting) Dawson: (sarcastic) Well, aren’t you perceptive? Fran: You. Nikki: Don’t patronise me. I’m trying to give you (Andie waves) an honest assessment here. Fran: How’d you get in here? Dawson: (snidely) Well, excuse me, but it’s not Andie: Janitor. Don’t worry, I- I didn’t touch every day that I’m subjected to an unsolicited note anything. But, I brought you dessert. session from- (Andie walks over to the secretary with a piece of Nikki: A volunteer? Paper-pusher? My position cake) and altruism is to validate my opinion. Well next Fran: (shakes her head and laughs) And I thought time I’ll pick what you wouldn’t (select?) more I’d seen it all. carefully. Andie: Well, I thought I’d be here, you know, in (she pats him on the chest with the flat of her the off chance that Dean Hardgrove got back hand and storm off) early, and then I could, well, you know... (Jack waits at a bus stop - a bus pulls up and after Fran: You’ve got chutzpah, I’ll say that much for a couple of guys get on he stands there still you. undecided as to whether or not to get on) Andie: So, is he back yet? Driver: Well, are you in or out? Fran: He’s a notoriously late luncher. (Jack boards the bus and it leave - he takes a (Andie’s face falls and she slumps into a chair) seat and looks at what appears like to be a gay Fran: What’s the matter? couple) Andie: (despondently) Nothing. (Joey who is still walking around the campus (the secretary walks around and sits next to comes across a brooding Dawson sitting on a Andie) bench) Fran: Do you know how many kids I have? Joey: Dawson! Hey. Seven. You know how many went to this Dawson: Hey. university? Zero. Didn’t seem to bother them Joey: How’d the screening go? much. (Dawson looks down and sighs) Andie: So you don’t think I’m gonna get in? Joey: Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad, Fran: Oh, I gave up a long time ago trying to could it? figure out who they’re gonna accept. Dawson: It was an unmitigated disaster. Andie: So, you had seven kids? Joey: What do those hipper-than-thou film brats Fran: Two are doctors, um, one’s an investment know anyway? banker, whatever that is. The three girls are Dawson: Maybe they’re right. married and one didn’t go to college. Plays horn in Joey: Come on. (she sits next to him) You don’t a jazz band downtown. Which do you think is mean that. happiest? Dawson: You know, maybe the problem with Andie: OK, so what you’re telling me is avoid having such a big dream is ... you never stop to medical school and Wall Street, don’t get married, question whether or not you have the talent to and... skip college.

86 Fran: What I’m saying is whether or not you (Joey sits with arms crossed and gives A.J the evil attend this distinguished university with have little eye) or nothing to do with what kind of person you turn A.J: (patronisingly) And what’s the lesson here? out to be, or whether you find fulfilment in your life. That we can’t say a book is great simply because Andie: Hmm. we identify with the hero or heroine. (Joey sits in a lecture theatre that is about half full (Joey is walking down the stairs after the class - - A.J enters and comes up to her) A.J is following her) A.J: Freshman English, huh? A good one to visit. A.J: Joey, wait. Joey: Don’t tell me you’re in this class? Joey: Why, so you can sic one of your little over- A.J: Kinda. educated minions on me? Try again. Joey: (reluctantly) You wanna sit? A.J: Admittedly we were a little harsh. A.J: Uh, no, I can’t. Joey: (sarcastically) I concur. Joey: So I, uh, I guess this professor’s really late? A.J: You said you wanted the college experience. A.J: No, he’s not coming. They do that a lot. And Joey: Don’t be so glib. What you did in there was then some poor schmuck undergraduate teaching insensitive. You hardly know me, A.J. Maybe I am assistant has to come in and try to rally the troops just some naïve little highschool girl, but I was for what’s called (loudly) discussion session! actually looking forward to getting a- a taste of the (A.J walks off down the front of the class) fun part of the college experience, not just that A.J: Hi, guys. Professor Taylor is at some mean, bitter part. Do you spend so much time semiotics conference in Seattle, so you’re stuck staring that i-Book that you’ve forgotten that part with me, again. Now we have a lot of visiting high even existed? school schoolers in our midst today, so I thought A.J: (sincerely) Sorry. How about we start over? we’d take a break from our ongoing ‘great books’ Give me chance to show you what college is really discussion, and ask some of them what books all about. What do you say? they consider great. (points at Joey) How about (Movie screening - Dawson watches on - the you. In the cheap seats. Brown haired girl. audience is spellbound) Joey: What’s my favourite book? Guy: (to Dawson) Have you got any idea who A.J: You read, don’t you? shot this? It’s on another level, is what I think. Joey: (after a moment of thought) Little Women. (the film ends and there is loud applause and A.J: Louisa May Allcott. Interesting. Now I haven’t cheering) read that since I was ... ten or so. As far as I MC: Let’s get the gifted young filmmaker up here, remember it’s sort of a less successful version of shall we? Jane Eyre. Something about a girl with a boy’s (the crowd gives a standing ovation as Nikki name? stands and moves down the front - Dawson looks Joey: The girls name is Jo. She has three sisters, on surprised and confused) a mother, a father who’s usually not around and (Outside the screening theatre - Dawson comes when he is he’s very impractical, and he’s not the up to Nikki who is trying to get a pack of M&M’s greatest at providing the material things in life. from a vending machine) A.J: (patronising) That’s right. They’re poor, but Nikki: Dawson! they have each other. And there’s something to Dawson: Hey. do with a boy next door. Yeah, it’s all coming back Nikki: I need a sugar fix after all stressful to me. OK, so Little Women. Perennial American experiences. classic, yes, but great book? Worthy of inclusion (she hits the vending machine and the M&M’s in the literary canon? What do we think people? drop down) (Female student puts her hand up and A.J Nikki: Finally. (she retrieves the confectionary) motions for her to have her say) Dawson: Stressful? Come on, that was a love- Student 1: No way. This book is completely anti- fest. feminist in spirit. Nikki: (snappy) Don’t sound so overjoyed. Student 2: I concur. I mean, the heroine Dawson: Don’t be falsely modest. supposedly burns with this artistic genius, but Nikki: If it had been the other way around, I would ultimately she gives up all of her dreams, gets have enjoyed your success. married and starts popping out babies. Dawson: So you’re not only a better film maker Student 3: Alcott’s a minor writer. Most of what than I am, you’re a better person. she wrote, she wrote purely for money. Nikki: Look, can we start over again? Dawson: Yeah, lets. 87 (they move over to a table and sit down) Fran: (chuckles) A sixty year old, career Nikki: So, what did you think of my film? Really. secretary? Constructive criticism only, please. (Andie smiles and nods) Dawson: I, uh, I thought your film was- was Fran: Well, one thing I learnt a long time ago - life technically accomplished. can surprise you, in a thousand different Nikki: Technically accomplished. That sounds like ways. a nice dismount off the balance beam. (A.J and Joey are walking along a hallway) Dawson: Well, it’s better than derivative. Or Joey: You know, as much as I appreciate you unclear. Or not understanding your own material. willingness to spend time with me, I’ve gotta ask, Nikki: OK. Maybe I was a little insensitive in my where are we going? comments. I’m sorry. A.J: You’ll see. Dawson: Duly noted. Now, you never mentioned, (they come up to a door and A.J uses a key to before, that you were entered in this film festival. gain entrance - when they step inside its wall to Why not? wall covered with high bookcases and a large Nikki: I don’t lead with my chin, Dawson. You can table in the middle of the room) get hurt that way. Joey: OK, what is this place? Dawson: That you can. Well, um, you seem to A.J: A rare book and manuscript library. have really knocked them dead. Congratulations. Joey: Are we supposed to be in here? (Dawson stands up and walks away) A.J: (smiles) What’s the matter? You afraid the (Andie and the Dean’s Secretary, Fran, are sitting library police are gonna come snatch us up? I at a table outside having coffee) wanted to show you something. Andie: I think I’m gonna write about her. (A.J uses a small ladder to reach a box on the top Fran: For your application essay? shelf of a bookcase) Andie: ‘Who’s the one person who influenced you Joey: What? most, and why?’ A.J: Have a seat. Fran: You should. It might help you organise your (He steps down and they both sit at the table) thoughts about her. A.J: Look at this. Andie: I remember one day, it was about six (He opens the box and a very old-looking copy of months after the accident, I found her by a creek. Little Women is inside) She was just sitting in the water, her blouse was Joey: Little Women? soaking wet and ... her hair was flustered in A.J: Not quite. The book we know today as Little strands across her face. It was like she didn’t Women was originally published in two separate know where to go or what to do. (teary) I don’t volumes. This is just the first. It’s Louisa May think I’ll forget that image as long as I live. Alcott’s very own copy. Go ahead, look at it. Fran: (reaching out and holding Andie’s hand) Do Carefully. Let’s see what this favourite book of you mind if I lay a dose of truth on you? yours has to offer. Andie: Sure. After I spoke my deepest, darkest (Joey picks it up carefully and looks at it in wonder secrets, why not? - she opens it to a particular page) Fran: One. Always wear sensible shoes. If your Joey: This is the part where Jo and Meg go to feet are killing you, you can’t think straight. Mrs Gardiner’s party. (reads) ‘Jo saw a big red- Andie: (smiles) OK. And two? headed youth approach her corner, and fearing he Fran: Let yourself off the hook for things over meant to engage her, she slipped into a curtained which you have no control. Just because your recess. She found herself face to face with the mother couldn’t get past your brother’s death, Lawrence boy’. doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up for A.J: (reading) “Don’t mind me, stay if you like.” making peace with it. Joey: “Shan’t I disturb you?” (Andie just looks at her) A.J: “Not a bit. I only came here because I don’t Fran: I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be sticking my big know many people and felt rather strange at first, nose in. you know?” Andie: No, no, I was just thinking something. Joey: ‘”So did I. Don’t go away please, Sir, unless Maybe when your mom starts to lose her mind, you’d rather.” you sort of do too, you know, as a way of trying to A.J: ‘The boy sat down again and looked at his understand what she’s going through. This is so boots. “How’s your cat, Miss March?”’ weird, I mean incredible even, that I’m sitting here, Joey: (turning the page) “Nicely, thank you, Mr in Cambridge with- Lawrence. But I ain’t Miss March, I’m only Jo.” 88 (they both look at one another for a few seconds Dawson follows and catches up with her outside before Joey closes the book) the theatre) Joey: My mom used to read it to me. That’s why Dawson: Nikki. she named me Josephine. It was her favourite Nikki: (sharply) What now? Time to rub salt in the book. wound? A.J: Was? Dawson: You were robbed. Joey: She passed away. Nikki: Excuse me? A.J: I’m sorry to hear that. Dawson: I saw every single film at the festival and Joey: I guess that’s why I read it. And re-read it. yours was the best, hand’s down. ‘Cause when I do, it’s- it’s like she’s with me. Nikki: Let’s dispense with the mock compassion, A.J: So- so it’s like a friend, the book? shall we? Joey: Yeah. Exactly. Dawson: There’s nothing mock about it, Nikki. It’s A.J: Well, you can never have too many friends, a simple fact. Potter, Joseph. (she smiles) (she stops and turns to face Dawson) Joey: Sooo, Miss A.J Moller (he smiles), what is Nikki: If it’s OK with you, I’d like to be alone right your favourite book? Some ponderous tone by now. Heroditis? Dawson: How can you be so upset about this? A.J: Are you ready for this-The Lion, The Witch, Nikki: Like your failure didn’t affect you? And The Wardrobe. Dawson: Point taken. But there’s a huge Joey: (smiles, feigning shock) Well that sounds difference between what happened to me and rather infantile. what happened to you. A.J: Entirely. But, like all the best things in life, Nikki: And what’s that? simple, sweet ... magical. Dawson: Well I learned that I have to dig deeper, (Jack walks into a gay bar where the lights are and- and reveal more of myself in my work if I’m dim and the music loud - he walks around then going to make a film that’s worth anything. You sees a guy looking at him so he heads over to the learned that film festivals don’t necessarily award bar) the meritorious. Bartender: Hey, what can I get you? Nikki: (more calmly) I wanted to win, Dawson. Jack: Uh, I- I, um, I guess I- Dawson: Nikki. Your film just wasn’t technically Guy: My guess is he can’t handle much more brilliant, OK? It was inspired. It inspired me. It—it than a beer. Make that two. made me remember why I got into film in the first Jack: Oh- oh no, you- you don’t have to do that- place. Not to win festivals, not for glory, but to Guy: It’s OK, I wanted to. reach people. And you did, you made them laugh, Jack: Thanks. you moved them. No matter what happens to me, Guy: (smiles) You’re adorable. I’m not gonna give up until I reach that goal. (Jack half-smiles) Nikki: You really liked my movie? Guy: You’re shy, right? Well let’s just start all Dawson: Yeah. I really liked your movie. over, OK? You’re not adorable, and I am not (Train station—Dawson meets up with Andie at attracted to you. Would you like to go somewhere the bottom of a stairwell and they walk towards else? I mean, this really probably isn’t your scene. the platform) We- we could just talk, OK? Maybe, I don’t know, Dawson: Are we the first ones here? get to know each other a little better, and- Andie: Yeah, it looks like it. (Jack bolts while the guy turns to get the beers) Dawson: So did you get your interview? (Screening theatre - they are announcing the Andie: Yeah, I did. Not the one I expected, but winners of the film festival) maybe the one I needed. Co-ordinator: Our second-place finalist is ... Dawson: Pray, tell. Windscape, David Steiner. Andie: Oh, long story short, I had this chance (applause - David comes up to accept and award - encounter that yielded a little clarity. How about camera zooms in on Nikki - her expression is that you? Did you get what you came here for? of a person who fully expects to win) Dawson: (smiles) Yeah. I did. Also in a most Co-ordinator: And now, in first place, the award unexpected way. goes to ... Tommy and Moe, Carl and Michael Andie: Hmm. I think that’s what screws us up the Biggins. most. (applause and cheering - Nicky’s face drops in Dawson: What? disappointment - Nikki gets up and leaves - 89 Andie: It’s like you get this picture in your head of (they both laugh) the way things should be, and- and you end up Dawson: This is too weird. closing yourself off to some of the wonder and Nikki: What are the chances? serendipity of the actual experience. (they both laugh again) Dawson: Who was this chance encounter with, Dawson: Wow. Um, so Mr Jordan, he’s the film Deepak Chopra? teacher and his film lab is actually really full. I had Andie: Yeah, something like that. beg, lie, and steal just to get in. But you know, I (Jack is on the train - the seat next to him and the think I have some pull with him. two across from him are unoccupied, but Jack has Nikki: I’m already in. his bags on them) Dawson: What? Ethan: Are these seats taken? Nikki: We’ve been e-mailing each other. He’s Jack: Uh, yeah, I’m kinda saving them for some been giving me this sort of, uh, private tutorial. friends. Dawson: (surprised) OK. I wasn’t aware that he Ethan: No problem, say no more. (he starts to did that sort of thing. move further down the compartment) Nikki: (playfully) You can handle a little friendly Jack: Actually, you know what? Um, it’s cool. I competition, can’t you? don’t even know if they’re coming. (Jack and the guy talking) (he moves his bags to the seat next to him) Jack: Bingham, Breely, and Buckingham? Ethan: You sure? Ethan: It’s a prep school. Jack: Yeah, positive. Jack: Sounds more like a law firm. (the guy puts his bag in the overhead storage Ethan: Huh. Sometimes it feels like one. But in space and sits across from Jack) the main, I’m just happy to be out of Ethan: Do me a favour? Wake me up when we claustrophobic Capeside. get to Capeside. Jack: So what brings you back? (he puts a jacket under his head as a pillow) Ethan: Heartbreak. I need a little parental TLC, Jack: (surprised) You’re going to Capeside? some chicken soup, and the comfort of my Ethan: Yep. childhood bed. Jack: (smiles) Me too. Jack: A long relationship? (Dawson is walking along another part of the train Ethan: Two years. It feels like a divorce, I swear. carrying several coffees - he unknowingly walks Not to mention that I see him everyday at school. past Nikki) (Jack who was sipping coffee suddenly stops) Nikki: Hey porter, is that uh, decaf or ‘caf? Ethan: It’s like we’ve broken up but still living Dawson: Nikki! Hey. What are you doing here? together. Nikki: I’m doing the divorced-kid shuffle. Mom’s a (he notices Jack starting at him) techie, she’s been transferred to Chicago, so I’m Ethan: What’s the matter, I get under the going to co-habitate with my dad. ‘gaydar’? That’s what everyone says, I’m the (Dawson sits on the arm of the seat in front of straightest gay guy they know. What about you? Nikki whilst still facing her) Jack: What about me? Dawson: I know that drill. My parents just got Ethan: Can people tell right away? divorced. Jack: (sighs) How can you tell? I mean, is it- is it Nikki: Sucks, doesn’t it? that obvious? Dawson: Hmm-mm. I mean, I guess, you know, Ethan: (laughs) Actually, yeah. I mean, not in a it’s for the best and everything, you know, it was raging queen way, but more in a... just a really long, drawn out long battle that- Jack: More in a what way? Nikki: If it’s for the best, then why do I still fell so Ethan: A babe in the woods, newbie way. lousy? Jack: Newbie? Dawson: Yeah. Ethan: Any sweet, inexperienced young gay man Nikki: Yeah. destined for broken hearts. Dawson: So, um, where does your father live? Jack: You make it sound so inviting. Nikki: Um, a place called Capeside. Ethan: Well, let’s face it, most guys are clueless. Dawson: You’re kidding? Jack: How do you mean? Nikki: No, he’s a- a highschool principal there. Ethan: You’ll see. (pauses) Hey, what’s your Dawson: (getting excited) What? Wait a minute. name, anyway? Your father’s Principal Greene? Jack: (clears his throat twice) Jack. Jack McPhee. Nikki: Do not tell me that you go to school there? 90 Ethan: (extending his hand) Ethan. It’s nice to Dawson: Joey! Hey, this is, uh, Nikki. Nikki, Joey. meet you. Nikki: Hi. Nice to meet you. (Joey and A.J walk towards the platform) Dawson: She’s going to our school. A.J: I hope I didn’t keep you up all night. (Joey looks back at A.J and they exchange Joey: You talked for eight hours about Ulysses. waves) A.J: Yeah, I know. Sometimes it’s hard to get that Dawson: Who’s that? teaching assistance stuff out of your head. Joey: (shrugs) My roommate. Especially when you’re really passionate about (Joey squeezes past and Dawson allows Nikki to something, you know, ‘cause then your inner geek go before him then he looks at A.J suspiciously just runs wild. So what about you Joey Potter. before following) What are you passionate about? What do you (Joey and Dawson in his room lying on the bed) ache for? Dawson: Is it just me, or is the prospect of going Joey: I don’t know. I mean, I wish I did... to college seem a lot larger? A.J: But? Joey: I know what you mean. Is it the light at the Joey: Well, for the past couple of years my life end of the tunnel, or is it an oncoming semi? has kind of revolved around this boy. How Dawson: Or is it both? pathetic is that? Joey: Well, it’s definitely going to take some A.J: But, you guys aren’t together? getting used to. Joey: No. Dawson: Hmm. Do you ever have one those (they continue in silence for a moment until they moments when you kind of just realise that the near the train and stop) world has snuck up and completely blind-sided A.J: Do you know what a manifold is? you? (pauses) I’ve been thinking about a career in (she shakes her head) fast food. A.J: It’s a math thing. It’s hard to explain. But, (Joey sighs exasperatedly) imagine yourself shrunk to the size of a pin point Dawson: ‘Welcome to Taco Bell, can I take your sitting on the surface of a doughnut. Look around order?’ It kind of just rolls off the tongue. you and it looks like you’re sitting on a- a flat disk, Joey: Dawson, everything in life is not just about right? But go down one dimension and sit on a winning. I mean, you have to find joy in the curve, and suddenly it looks like a- a straight line. process, you have to love what it is that you do. Joey: You kinda lost me somewhere around the Dawson: Good point. Which begs the question, doughnut. what, uh, life lesson did you stumble upon this A.J: In other words, the way something appears weekend? from afar might be quite different from the way it Joey: Well. Well, college to me has always been appears to your near-sighted eye. about getting the hell out of Capeside, right? Joey: So in order for me to figure things out, I Dawson: Right. should get myself some distance? Joey: Well now I’m thinking that it could be more A.J: (smiles) Take your face out of the i-Book. than that. I mean, it’s scary, sure, but it’s a world (they smile at one another) full of these deeply passionate people. I mean, A.J: Look, would it be alright if I were to, you people who get excited about books and ideas know, phone you sometime? and theories and ... it kind of excited me. Joey: (shrugs) Well, it wouldn’t suck. Dawson: (gravely) My suspicions have been A.J: OK. confirmed. Joey: You got a pen? Joey: What do you mean? A.J: (reaches into his jacket) Oh. Yeah. Do- do- Dawson: That you are a really ... big geek. do you have a piece of paper? (they smile) Joey: Um (checks pockets), no. Joey: So is it just me, or- or does this room seem A.J: (disappointed) Oh. a lot smaller all of a sudden? (Joey reaches for his hand and writes her number Dawson: Really? on it - they smile at one another - he goes to offer (she nods) his hand to shake it, but realises it has her phone Dawson: I was kinda thinking it seemed ... safe. number on it, so they use their left hands instead) (they both sit for a moment before Joey starts to Joey: Bye. get up) A.J: Bye. Joey: I’ll see ya, Dawson. (Joey boards the train just as Dawson and Nikki Dawson: See ya, Jo. are moving to another section of the train) (Joey leaves through the window-ending credits) 91 Barefoot at Capefest

(Capeside High - Dawson and Joey are walking Dawson: Well, there’s a project I want to start down the hall approaching a classroom) working on. Joey: Correct me if I’m wrong Dawson, but don’t Nikki: There’s a project that I am working on. you already own a camera? Dawson: (sighs) OK. Well then when can I have Dawson: A video camera, yeah. the camera back, exactly? Joey: And the difference is…? Nikki: When I’m done. Dawson: Well, imagine Schindler’s List shot on a Dawson: And when will that be? family camcorder. (Nikki wheels the projector a few feet then starts (Dawson opens the door and allows Joey inside walking towards the door) before following and closing the door) Nikki: Filmmaking is not fast food, Dawson. You Dawson: Alright, I mean, it-it’s- video is a great can’t rush it. format to learn on, but the look and the feel is (Nikki walks out the door past Dawson and Joey - strictly amateur. Film is key, and if we can find her Dawson looks as though he wants to throttle we can give it another spin. Nikki) Joey: “Her”? (Jen and Jack are grocery shopping - Jen is (they enter an adjacent room full of filming gear - pushing the shopping cart) Nikki is already in the room) Jen: Wait a minute. Three boxes of cereal, Jack? Dawson: The Aeroflex. Capeside High’s one and You’re gonna need an explanation before you put only 16mm camera. those in the cart. Nikki: She is a beauty, Dawson. Jack: OK, fine. First, we have our Grape Nuts; Dawson: (surprised) Nikki! Hey, what are you combination of taste and sufficient nutrients to doing here? make the perfect day-starter. (Nikki is tinkling with a film projector) (he throws it in the cart) Nikki: Extra credit for joining this film class. Plus, I Jack: From there we move onto the premier get to be near all the equipment. afternoon snack - the, well, underrated, but, uh, Dawson: (with a hint of sarcasm) Ah, how very ever-tasty, Cocoa Pebbles. earnest of you. (he throws it in the cart) Nikki: J- Joey, right? Jack: And then, we round out the, uh, cereal- Joey: Right. Hey. I- I heard wonderful things lovers perfect day with a yummy, late-night about your film? staple… (in an announcers’ voice) Captain Nikki: (surprised) Really? From who? Crunch! Dawson: Um, speaking of equipment, hand her (Jen smiles and begins pushing the cart) over. Jen: If there was ever a concern that you are not Nikki: Sorry, Dawson, she’s checked out. Andie McPhee’s brother, it’s been solved. (Nikki begins wheeling the film projector out of the (she stops the cart and takes out two boxes) room into the classroom) Jack: Whoa! What are you- come on! Dawson: That’s highly unlikely- (he tries to get a hold of the cereal boxes but Jen Nikki: Yet completely true. hugs them to her chest) Dawson: Well, how long has it been checked out Jen: You’re a good man, Jackie Brown, but as a for? grocery shopper, you blow. I’m afraid I must leave Nikki: About seven days. you with the Grape Nuts. Dawson: Then it’s due back today. (Jen walks off to put the cereal back) Nikki: Nope. She’s checked out for the next four Jack: (playfully) Fascist. weeks straight. Jen: Pig. Dawson: There’s a one week maximum. (Jack picks up the Grape Nuts from the cart) Nikki: I cleared it with Mr Jordan. Ethan: At least you fought the good fight. Hey Dawson: You did. Jack. Nikki: Hmm-mmm. Jack: (surprised) Uh, Ethan. From the- from the Dawson: You checked out the camera? train Ethan. Nikki: Me checked out the camera, yes. Ethan: (smiles) I prefer just plain Ethan. (Ethan grabs a shopping basket)

92 Jack: Wow, uh, what are you doing here? Mr Broderick: I’m very familiar with the scenario. Ethan: Food shopping. I hear it’s pretty standard Andie: (loudly) Look, Mr Broderick, (holding paper in one of these places. in front of him) I want to be Assistant Director. I’m Jack: Uh, I meant, I- I thought you were going smart, bossy, and super efficient. And the truth is, back to school last weekend? you need me. Ethan: I did. I came back for Capefest. Mr Broderick: (grabbing the paper) Why didn’t Jack: Oh. Uh- wh- what is that, I mean, is- is it like you just say so? a, uh, a feed the poor type of thing? (the bell rings) Ethan: Which one of us lives here year ‘round? (Dawson’s House - Joey and Dawson arrive home It’s a concert. A free concert in the park. from school) Jack: Oh, OK, so it’s like a- a palooza-type deal? Dawson: (mocking Nikki) Filmmaking is not fast Ethan: Marching, stage diving, overpriced bottled food, Dawson. water. Anyway, um, there’s a campsite outside the Joey: She’s entitled to the equipment too. concert where everyone hangs out. I’m going Dawson: Look, if you check out a camera, you down to get a spot tomorrow. return the camera in a timely fashion, that’s all I’m Jack: (eagerly) Oh, well cool, that sounds like a asking. blast. (Dawson enters the family room to find it empty, Ethan: Well if you’re a fan, you should come. completely devoid of furniture - Gale is in a corner Jack: Uh, yeah, I’m a total fan. picking up a box) Ethan: Telltale fan quiz: who’s your favourite Dawson: Uh, mom? What’s going on? Foofighter? Gale: Hey. Uh, look, honey, I’m going to be taking Jack: (clears his throat) Courtney Love. some furniture over to my place. Ethan: (trying not to laugh) You’re in the Dawson: Oh, OK. alternative nation, just not quite in the right Gale: Just from the family room and the guest zipcode. room. It’s part of the settlement. I asked your dad (Jack looks disappointed, and Ethan begins to not to say anything because I wanted to explain leave) myself. Ethan: (turning back to Jack) You should come Dawson: Mom, you don’t have to explain yourself, anyway. that’s how it works. (Jack smiles - Jen approaches looking back at Gale: I need you to keep being as positive as you Ethan) can be about this, honey. It’s going to make it so Jen: Cute! much easier on all of us. Jack: Yeah. Dawson: Well, I aim to pease. Jen: Aren’t they all. (she hugs him) (Capeside High - Andie approaches a teacher Gale: Thank you for understanding. who is just leaving a class) (Gale takes the box and goes upstairs - there is a Andie: Excuse me Mr Broderick, can I speak with long pause) you for a minute? Joey: Do you want to talk? (they begin walking down the hallway) Dawson: (shrugs) What’s there to say? Mr Broderick: (rudely) And you are…? Joey: About what you’re feeling. Andie: Andie McPhee. Dawson: I’m thinking my parents are divorced Mr Broderick: And you want to waste my time and I’m glad it’s finally over. about…? Joey: Dawson, I said what you’re feeling. Andie: The school play. Dawson: (walking away) I’m still working on that Mr Broderick: I see. Auditions are after school, one. so if you don’t mind- (Capefest - Jack and Jen have just arrived and Andie: No, but if you can just give me a minute- are scouring for a spot to set up their tent) Mr Broderick: (annoyed) I am not auditioning at Jack: This is gonna be great, I mean, sleeping out this time, comprende? I am eating lunch. I assume under the stars, fresh breeze off a that ocean, call you eat lunch on your planet, do you not? of the wild… Andie: (protesting) But I’m not here to audition. Jen: It’s the call of nature I’m worried about. Jack, Mr Broderick: I know, you want to star in the where are the chemical toilets? show. Jack: I dunno. What do you say we set up here? Andie: (points at a sheet of paper) Assistant (Jack starts dumping all the bags on the ground) Director. 93 Jen: God, I thought I’d go to extreme measures to Mr Broderick: Granted, the boy I know is a get into some guy’s pants. deplorable student and he has the ethics of a billy Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I am not trying to get goat. into his pants. For crying out loud, this is the first (he takes the pill with a drink) gay guy that I’ve actually conversed with, excuse Andie: We’ve already cast our Corrie and me for wanting to get to know him. Valasgo, please don’t let our only Paul slip away. Jen: Jack, I know. Just be aware that you’re Mr Broderick: Have no fear, Miss McPhee. I cut a venturing into new territory here. And that before deal with one of my students. The kid is a natural you take this great big emotional leap, Jack, you with comedy. should be willing to admit that you’re taking it. Andie: OK, Mr Broderick, if I may be so bold. Don’t just try and brush it off as simply wanting to From my limited perspective, I see but two kinds get to know somebody. of actors - those with talent… and those with the Jack: I’m telling you, it’s all it is. ability to expand on that talent. Which requires Jen: OK. Even still, take my advice - play it cool. maturity, which requires a sense of responsibility, Let him come to you. which requires the ability to come both prepared Jack: I think I’m gonna see if I can find him. and on time. (he leaves Jen to set up the tent) Pacey: Hey you guys, I’m sorry I’m late. I’m here (Capeside High - auditions for school play - Andie for the read for the role of Paul. Pacey Witter. and Mr Broderick look on) Mr Broderick: That’s him, that’s our Paul. Student 1: (reading very passionately) OK Corrie, (Andie looks surprised and not exactly happy, maybe you’re right, maybe love isn’t enough, throwing her pen down in disgust) maybe two people should have to take more than (Dawson approaches the front porch of Nikki’s a blood test… house who sits on a bench reading) Student 2: (reading blandly) …maybe love isn’t Nikki: Dawson, tell me this isn’t an attempt to enough… repossess the camera. Student 3: … OK Corrie, maybe you’re right, Dawson: I just want to reiterate something. maybe love isn’t enough… (she closes the book and looks up at Dawson) Student 1: (still overly passionate)…maybe two Nikki: Reiterate away. people should have to take more than a blood Dawson: OK, I get this little ego trip. I- I know test, maybe they should be checked for common you’re the principal’s daughter, but that does not sense… give you the right to be selfish or rude- Student 2: …maybe they should be checked for Nikki: Dawson. I didn’t know you wanted to use common… the camera. But… you’re just gonna have to get Student 3: …common sense, understanding… used to it. Student 1: …maybe they should be checked for Principal Greene: I thought I heard a familiar- common sense, understanding, and emotional sounding voice. If it isn’t my second favourite maturity. student filmmaker. (Mr Broderick and Andie look on with pained (they shake hands) expressions) Principal Greene: How are you, Dawson? Student 4: (delivering the lines pretty well) OK Dawson: Principal Greene. Good. Corrie, maybe you’re right, maybe love isn’t Principal Greene: So I understand you and Nikki enough, maybe two people should have to take have become fast friends. more than a blood test, maybe they should be Dawson: (after a pause) Yeah, yeah. checked for common sense, understanding and Principal Greene: I had a feeling you two would emotional maturity. hit it off. Hey listen, why don’t you stay and join us (Andie looks on very interested) for supper? Andie: (excitedly) I like him. What do you think? Dawson: I couldn’t, I gotta- Mr Broderick: I think I’m getting a migraine. Nikki: Oh, daddy, I’m sure Dawson has other (he reaches for some pills) plans. Andie: I think he’s got a certain dramatic flair. Principal Greene: Now wait a minute. As your Mr Broderick: I’ve got someone else in mind. father and as your principal, I think I’m gonna Andie: (exasperated and waving a pile of paper) have to pull rank here. (he smiles) Besides, how Who ‘someone else’? We are out of someone often do I get a chance to have a nice meal with else’s. one of my students?

94 (Nikki has her head in her hands and Dawson Henry: (not looking up) You want your bun looks like he wants to just leave, but can’t) toasted? Principal Greene: And I promise not to talk too Jen: I thought you’d never ask. much about my lovely little daughter. (he laughs) (Henry looks up and realises it is Jen) Come on. Jen: Hey. (Dawson reluctantly follows Nikki and Principal Henry: (disinterestedly) Hey. Greene inside) Jen: It’s quite a crowd you have here. (Capefest - Jack is walking around looking for Henry: Listen, I- I really don’t have time for small Ethan) talk at the moment. Did- did you want a burger, or Ethan: (sitting on the branch of a tree) Hey there. not? (Jack turns towards Ethan) So you decided to Jen: (a little taken aback) Yes. show. (Henry starts flipping burgers while Jen looks on) Jack: One small step for man, one giant leap for Jen: You know, I was wondering if you could give mankind. me a hand with my tent. I was never much of a girl Ethan: You here by yourself, or with? scout. Jack: Um, with - (quickly) a girl. She’s, uh, a (Jen smiles but Henry just gives her a long stare, friend of mine. She’s setting up our tent. (clears contemplating her request) his throat) What about you? Henry: Stanley? Take over here for a minute, will Ethan: All by my lonesome. you? Jack: Um, ah… (Henry stands and joins Jen - they begin walking ) Ethan: So, you want to go grab a bite to eat, take Jen: So you never told me you were a vegetarian. a walk, what? Henry: You never asked. Jack: Yeah. Uh, to both. (realising he’s a Jen: Do I detect a note of ambivalence in seeing bumbling idiot) Whatever. me? (Ethan laughs and jumps down from the tree) Henry: That would be correct. Ethan: Come on, I’ll lead the way. Jen: Any particular reason? (they begin to walk together - scene cuts to Jack Henry: You- you mean besides the fact that you and Ethan walking on the beach) led me on for the sole purpose of crushing me Ethan: After the train ride I thought for sure you’d underfoot? ask for my number. Jen: That’s not true Henry, and you know it. Jack: Yeah well, typical paranoia set in. Hey, Henry: Well, you could have fooled me. what can I say? Jen: What are you talking about? Ethan: I figured as much. Henry: Don’t tell me that you’re not taking some Jack: How come you didn’t ask for mine? small satisfaction in… Ethan: Because I could. It’s more important that Jen: In what? you learn to ask. You’re the newbie, remember? Henry: Being on the requited side of unrequited Jack: Yeah, newbie. Barely outed gay kid soon to love. have his heart broken, right? Jen: Henry, I thought that you and I agreed to be Ethan: (impressed) Good recall! friends? Jack: Well there’s not much I’m gonna forget Henry: (incredulously) Friends? You haven’t even about that conversation, it was a first for me. noticed, have you? Ethan: (surprised) It was your first time talking to Jen: What? Noticed w- another gay kid? Henry: (getting worked up) That we haven’t even Jack: Yeah, well, unless you count the Internet. spoken in over a month. For the past four weeks Ethan: (laughs) I- I don’t. I’ve been giving you the silent treatment, and it (Capefest - Jen is having real difficulty getting the hasn’t even registered on your radar screen. Hell, tent set up - it is all twisted into a big mess - a kid I could have fallen off a cliff ten thousand feet for walks past eating a burger) all you care- Jen: Hey man, where’d you get that? Jen: (protesting) That’s not true- Guy: (pointing behind him) Over there. This guy’s Henry: (getting angry) You know what? You can like a genius with a veggie burger. put up your own damned tent. (in the background we hear a voice saying ‘veggie (Henry storms off) burgers, get ‘em while they’re hot!’ - Jen strolls (Principal Greene’s house - they are seated over and where Henry has just served a around a table having dinner) customer) 95 Principal Greene: Dawson, you’re looking at Ethan: My camping gear. It’s gone. possibly the only little girl in America who wanted (Ethan let’s out a frustrated and angry groan with a super eight camera for her tenth birthday. (he hands on head) laughs) Nikki, should I tell him the name of your (Capeside High - Andie and Pacey meet as she first cinematic achievement? rounds a corner and are about to head up the Nikki: (embarrassed) Oh, don’t you dare! stairs) Principal Greene: (laughs) ‘A Day in the Life of Pacey: (motioning with his hand) Well, after you. Daddy’. She followed we around all day long. Andie: I want you to quit. Nikki: James Cameron of third grade. Pacey: (defensively) Listen, he saw my potential, Principal Greene: So tell me, has she enlisted OK? your for her new film? (Pacey starts up the stairs but Andie steps in front Dawson: Uh, no, she hasn’t. I don’t even know of him) what it’s about. Andie: No, no, no, no, no. This was my after Nikki: That’s between me and my crew. school activity. Dawson: So in order to bask in the glory of this Pacey: (continuing up the stairs) But I’m the lead mind-bending idea of yours, I have to offer my in the play. services? Andie: (forcefully) I want you to quit! Nikki: Is that an offer? Pacey: Listen, the guy said he’d give me a C in Dawson: Are you asking for my help? English, what do you want? Nikki: I don’t need any help, Dawson. Andie: Oh, and that’s what it’s come to? Anything Principal Greene: I think it would be a great idea for a C? What’s happened to you? for you two to work together. Pacey: (sighs) OK. Not that any of this is your (Nikki and Dawson speak simultaneously) concern, but Mr Broderick says he thinks I might Nikki: Forget it. actually be good at this (Andie scoffs) and so do I. Dawson: I don’t think that- Andie: OK, listen. Mr Broderick may be a lousy Principal Greene: Sorry I mentioned it. English teacher, but as a theatre director, he is (A long awkward silence ensues) probing new lows, Pacey. Rumour has it that he Dawson: Yep. has botched every school play for the past five (Jack and Ethan on the beach at Capefest) years. And, it’s only been by sheer force of will Jack: You knew that young you were attracted to that the past student theatre geeks have managed men? to sandbag his bi-hourly nervous breakdowns. Ethan: No, I knew that young that I was different. Pacey: So what’s your point? Being gay isn’t about what sex you’re attracted to, Andie: My point is, I got into this to get over you, it forms so much of what and who you are. OK? To give myself a new focus, and instead your Jack: You lost me. presence is giving me perpetual myopia. Ethan: I’ll make it simple. You haven’t talked to Pacey: (laughs) What? We haven’t even done another gay kid, so you definitely haven’t kissed one rehearsal yet. You want me to throw my one, right? whole theatre career to the wind? Jack: No. Andie: (frustrated) Ooh. OK, listen, Sir Barrymore, Ethan: But you still know you’re gay. our director is irrational. And your lack of ability, Jack: Sure. though not apparent to him yet, is enough to send Ethan: How? him over the proverbial edge, and me with him. Jack: (shrugs shoulders) I just know, I guess. Pacey: Fine. You quit then. Ethan: (sighs) Everyone always wants to define (Pacey continues up the stairs) gay and straight by who you sleep with. It’s not Andie: (following Pacey) I most certainly will not- about that. It- it’s about moments, it’s about being Pacey: I’m not going to quit. Witter’s aren’t too nervous to ask for my number. It’s about quitters. conversations like this, alright? It’s about who and Andie: Oh, oh that’s really cute. You know what- what you love, and that’s why you can’t erase it, fine, just… don’t. because it’s not just a part of your life… it’s Pacey: Fine. I won’t. everywhere. (The Greene’s house - Dawson is walking around (Ethan pauses and realises his camping gear is the house and enters Nikki’s bedroom—a moment gone) later Nikki comes by and sees Dawson) Ethan: Unlike my stuff. Nikki: Dawson? Jack: What? 96 Dawson: Hey. I must say, film-geekdom is disappointment of being the product of something definitely not evident in your bedroom decor. that didn’t work out. ‘Cause- because that’s what Nikki: Your room, let me guess - wall-to-wall our parents are - they’re our- our primary Spielberg (word??) sheets? examples of love, and… in my example it just Dawson: Aah, yeah. More or less a shrine. wasn’t I guess, strong enough to… (he realises Nikki: I figured as much. he’s been thinking his thoughts out loud) Um… Dawson: You say that like it’s a bad thing. (he stands to leave) Nikki: Oh, it’s not, it’s just… there’s so much to be Nikki: Dawson? passionate about, it seems kind of silly to focus on Dawson: Yeah, I should keep going. (he turns just one. and starts walking out) Um, tell you dad thanks. Dawson: Yeah, but if you’re lucky enough to find (Nikki looks on concerned) that one thing, why not immerse yourself in it? (Capefest - evening - Jen sits on the tent which Nikki: Don’t get me wrong, Dawson, I love film. lays flat on the ground with a torch illuminating her But I love it because it allows me to explore all of face before turning it off when she realises Jack the other subjects that interest me. If all you care and Ethan have arrived) about is film, then you’re just going to end up Jen: Oh, Jack, thank God you’re back from your making movies about other movies. What good is stalk - walk. You’re never going to guess who I ran that? into here of all- (Nikki goes and sits on the bed) (Jen realises Ethan is standing a few metres Nikki: I’m really sorry about my father. Um, ever away) since the divorce, he does this really aggressive Jen: (sheepishly) Hi. thing when it comes to me making friends. It’s so Ethan: Hello. weird. But, you know, I try to cut him some slack. Jack: Ethan, Jen - Jen, Ethan. Dawson: So (he sits in a chair), so you’re cool Jen: Nice to meet you. with it? The- the divorce? (they shake hands) Nikki: T, um, constant shuttling between living Ethan: It’s nice to meet you. Looks like you could quarters? The continually veiled and not so veiled use a little help with this tent. comments my parents make about each other? Jen: Yes. Please. Relieve me of all of my feminist The, um, never-ending expectation that I look on delusions about the equality of the sexes the bright side of things? Oh, sure, I’m just dandy. concerning spatial relations. Dawson: That’s the oddest thing. I mean, judging Jack: Uh, listen (he leads Jen a few feet away) All from how well put-together you come off, I would of his stuff got stolen, OK, all his gear. So, uh, he have just assumed that you were not affected by it needs a place to stay tonight. all. Jen: And you, being the kind-hearted soul that Nikki: It’s a well crafted disguise, Dawson. Inside, you are, offered him a spot in our tent. I’m just another angry kid. Jack: Yeah, so could you, uh, go take a walk for a Dawson: How angry? couple of hours? Come back around, say, Nikki: Angry enough to make a film about it. midnight? Dawson: So that’s what your movie’s about? Jen: (unbelieving) You’re kidding me? Nikki: More or less. It’s about the, um, “American Jack: No. Go mix, mingle. Write a few letters for Family”. What makes them functional, or as more Amnesty International. You’ll probably make a lot often seems to be the case, dysfunctional. of nice new friends. Dawson: (sighs) (words?) should provide you with Jen: (annoyed) You know what, I got a better a healthy supply of material there. idea. How about me and the car, we go back to Nikki: What about you? Your parents are grams’ house and we pick you up in the morning? divorced. How do you feel about it? Besides Jack, I thought that you two were just Dawson: Um… getting to know each other. Nikki: I, um, I didn’t mean to probe. I’m sorry. (she starts walking away) Dawson: No, no. I mean, you- you were honest Jack: (nodding) Hmm-mm. with me (words), right? Um, truth is, most of the (Jen walks towards the sound of music and is time I’m fine with them no being together. You surprised to find Henry playing a guitar - he then know, I mean, maybe I’m just… self-obsessed, but starts singing in a pretty good voice—Jen looks on I- I just don’t think about it that much, you know? in wonder) And then, um, other times it- it just kinda sneaks Henry: (singing) up on you, you know? I mean, it’s… like a 97 Well we busted out of class, Pacey: (holding his hands out and leaning back in had to get away from those his chair) Whoa, hey, gesticulating? Me, never. I feelings, mean, sometimes in the privacy of my own home- we learned more from a three- Andie: (standing up) W- w- w- wait, Pacey. That, minute record, baby, than we ever just now, that’s it. You nailed it. learned in school Pacey: What ‘just now’? Tonight I hear the neighbourhood Andie: The joke. The dry, smug delivery. That’s drummer sound, the character. I can feel my heart begin to Mr Broderick: W- Miss McPhee? Am I, or am I pound, not the director here? You’re confusing my actors. you say you’re tired and you just Andie: Well, I just thought that- want to close your eyes, and Mr Broderick: (waggling his finger at Andie) Don’t follow your dreams down think. Ever. (to the stage) Let’s do it again. (chorus) Louder, and angrier. well we made a promise (Andie sits back in her chair resignedly and Pacey we swore we’d always remember tiredly takes his feet off the table) no retreat, baby, no retreat Pacey: (virtually having an aneurism and stomping his feet on the stage) It’s not that kind of (Capeside High - rehearsals of the school play - club!! It’s a hand-ball court with a locker room Pacey is on the stage while Andie and Mr attached to it, and to stay there I’d have to keep Broderick sit on seats below) winning the serve!! Pacey: (reading script in a bland tone of voice) It’s (Andie watches on with a pained expression) not that kind of club. It’s a locker room and a (Capefest - Jack and Ethan at their campsite - hand-ball court, and to sleep there I’d have to they are standing outside the tent) keep winning the serve- Ethan: This is really cool of you guys. I- you’re Mr Broderick: No, stop, right there. Pacey, in sure Jen’s not going to mind if I take her sleeping theory your character may deliver his lines like bag? that, but in concept, no. Jack: Definitely not. She’s, uh, she’s a bit of a Pacey: In concept, no? night owl. Mr Broderick: Yes. Ethan: Old girlfriend? Pacey: Well, what precisely is the difference Jack: Nah, not exactly. (Ethan gets into the tent between ‘in theory; and ‘in concept’? and Jack follows) But we did get set-up once. Andie: Well, I think what Mr Broderick means is- Ethan: Let me guess - school dance? Mr Broderick: What Mr Broderick means is that Jack: (laughs) Yeah. How’d you know? he can speak for himself. You see, Paul desires Ethan: The punchbowl, (risk) corsage, all the his young bride to know she knows nothing of the trappings of straight-dom. Until you realise you real world. both like boys. Oldest story in the world. Pacey: Right. Which practically speaking, means (Ethan gets into his sleeping bag, shoes and all, what? and snuggles in) Mr Broderick: (speaking loudly) Louder, and Ethan: Well, goodnight. angrier. (Jack look at him surprised and confused) Pacey: Louder and angrier? Jack: Ah, goodnight. Mr Broderick: Yes. Let’s do it again, right now. Ethan: (after a moment) Aren’t you going to turn Louder, and angrier. off the light? (he sits down and takes puff of ventilin) Jack: Look, I- I was thinking, maybe, um, you Pacey: (yelling with anger) It’s not that kind of know, we could talk… some more. club! It’s a handball court with a locker room, and Ethan: You know what? I’m really beat. We got a to stay there I’d have to keep winning the serve! big day ahead of us tomorrow - twenty bands Mr Broderick: Good. I liked it. starting at daybreak. Pacey: (surprised) You liked that? (Jack still looks confused and hurt but turns the Mr Broderick: Well, except for the hand stuff. light off) (pointing his finger at Pacey) You were (Capefest - Jen walks up to Henry as he packs up gesticulating. his guitar)

98 Jen: Hey. Um, that was really beautiful. I mean, Dawson: What? that was more than beautiful, it was… it was Joey: I mean, first Eve practically tugs you around awesome. town by a dog collar, and now this new film girl Henry: Whatever. breezes into town and you’re tossing your identity Jen: I didn’t know that you could sing? out the window. Henry: I thought we established that there’s a lot Dawson: (getting angry) I’m not tossing my you don’t know about me. (he starts to walk away) identity out the window. If anything, for the first Jen: Henry, Henry wait up for me. time in my life, I’m actually getting closer to Henry: (turning to face Jen, he speaks angrily) discovering what my identity is, alright? I talked to Why? Nikki; she helped me sort through all the Jen: Because I wanted to talk to you. (words??) with my parents. Henry: Look, you can’t- you can’t keep doing this Joey: Dawson, I wanted to talk to you about that to me. and you didn’t want to talk. Jen: Doing what? Dawson: No, I didn’t. How did this become all Henry: Trying to be my friend and then pushing about you? me away wh- when my feelings scare you. Joey: (getting angry herself) Because you ran to Jen: (waits a moment before speaking) OK, I her ! admit it - I miss you. I miss the goofy way that you Dawson: (yelling) I did not… used to look at me with all that passion and Joey: (yelling also) What did you do then? intensity. It made me feel that I was actually worth Dawson: Look, you want to (cite) this for a the fuss. friendship, try this on for size, Joey - every time I Henry: (calmly) You know, I used to spend every express one iota of interest, or even respect, for day thinking about you, and dreaming about you. anyone else of the opposite sex, you attack me And every time you walked by, I lost myself. Do like I’m some sort of criminal. you know what that feels like? Do you? Joey: (accusingly) And you don’t attack me? Jen: No. Dawson: No, I don’t. (pointing his finger) As Henry: Then you couldn’t possibly know what it you’ve noticed, I have not once asked about Mr feels like to have that person not have the same Ivy League. feelings back. Look, I’m sorry you miss how I Joey: Yeah, that’s noted. His name is A.J, OK, looked at you. But I don’t miss how you never and maybe you’re not asking about him is worse looked at me. than my attacking you, OK? (Henry walks away leaving Jen looking upset) Dawson: No, it’s not. My choice is civil. (Dawson’s bedroom - Joey enters the window to Joey: And I’m not civil? find Dawson taking down the last of his movie Dawson: No, you’re yelling. That’s not civil. posters) Joey: You’re yelling too! Joey: Have I stepped into some parallel (Dawson realises he is and shuts up) universe? Say it isn’t so, Dawson. Joey: Out with the old, in with the new, huh? Dawson: It’s very so, Jo. (Dawson doesn’t reply) (Dawson lays the poster on his bed with the Joey: (going to leave) Have fun. others) (Joey leaves via the window and Dawson slams Joey: Is this about your parents? the window shut) Dawson: (sighs) Truth me told - I don’t know what (Capefest - Jack and Ethan emerge from their tent it’s about. All I know, is I was at Nikki’s house at daybreak) today and we were talking, and it hit me. (Dawson Jack: Well, I’m gonna go grab some breakfast goes over to the Jaws poster) The kid who hung before the music starts. these posters up - I’m not him any more. I don’t Ethan: Thanks again for letting me crash here. see the world the same way. My viewpoint was so Jack: Sure. limited, and now i… I don’t know what I see, but I (they are both now standing outside the tent) don’t (taking poster down) see this. Ethan: Aren’t you forgetting something you’re Joey: (frowning with confusion) So you were at supposed to ask me for? Nikki’s house—your worst enemy? Jack: (putting on his jacket) I don’t think so. Dawson: Hey, she’s not my worst enemy. Have Ethan: My number, Jack. You know, so you can you missed everything that I’ve just told you? call me sometime, we can talk, get together. Joey: I never thought that I’d say this about you Jack: I don’t get this. I mean, last night, you didn’t Dawson, but, you’re such a sell out. seem interested enough to want to talk to me, and 99 now all of a sudden you want me to have your (Capefest - Jen is walking around and comes number? across Henry who is pouring a cup of coffee at the Ethan: I was tired. I wanted to sleep. That’s got back of his pick-up truck) nothing to do with us being friends. Henry: (pointing) The stage is over there. You lost Jack: Friends? or something? Ethan: (sighs) I figured you were probably (Henry sits down on the tailgate and sips the interested. coffee) Jack: You’re not? Jen: Kinda. Actually, I came here to apologise. Ethan: Even if I was, I would never go there with Henry: For what? you, you’re so not ready. Jen: For being callous with your heart. For Jack: (a little annoyed) How could you possibly thinking that just because I’m older, I knew better. know what I’m ready for? (sighs) Last night, I stayed up all night thinking Ethan: It doesn’t mean that I’m not interested in about what you said, and… you’re right. I don’t you, Jack. It just means that if I’m gonna stay in know what it’s like to be in love like that. I don’t your life, and I want to, then I’m a lot more likely to know what it’s like to completely lose yourself in stick around this way. somebody else. (pauses) But I’d like to. (pauses Jack: So, you are interested? even longer) And if one of us is younger than the Ethan: (smiles) No comment. other here, I don’t think that it’s you, Henry. (they smile) Henry: You got that right. (he laughs a little) Jack: Wow, this is, uh, this is sort of funny. I (Jen looks dismayed) mean, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, you Henry: Now… (he reaches for the coffee holder) were the first guy that I was ready to take that- how do you like your coffee? that next step with, and you said no. I guess I (they both smile and he pours her a cup) should be somewhat discouraged. I don’t know, I (Capeside High - school play rehearsals - Pacey mean, I keeps me really optimistic just to know and ‘Corrie’ are going through some lines) that there’s someone like you out there. Corrie: You can’t say that we didn’t try. (Ethan begins writing on a small pad of paper - Pacey: (aka ‘Paul) Yeah, almost two whole he’s obviously writing his phone number) weeks. Ethan: (handing the pad over) Take care, Jack. Corrie: It’s better than finding out in two years. (Capeside High - school play rehearsals - they (clapping comes from back of the theatre - it is Mr have not yet begun - Pacey sits on a stool on the Broderick) stage and most of cast sit below in the seats) Mr Broderick: I like it. I like where this is going. Girl: I had a date. I ditched a perfectly good date (Andie grins) for a non-rehearsal. Pacey: Yeah, we started running it with Andie, Andie: OK, be patient. He’ll show. and- Guy: (sarcastically) Oh, joy, then we can do more Mr Broderick: All those exercises I’ve been (mockingly) “louder, angrier!” throwing out at you to stretch your range - they’re Pacey: Well, why not just start without the grand paying off beautifully. poo-bah? I mean, Andie’s here, she can direct us. (by now he has reached the stage where Pacey Andie: How about not. I’ve been in the dungeon and Andie are standing) enough, thank you. Corrie: (protesting) Mr Broderick, we ran through Pacey: What? All we’re gonna do is run through a those with Andie- few lines. (walking down the stairs towards Andie) Mr Broderick: I like the pacing, I like the funny, I Besides, wasn’t it you who said this is actually like the energy. Andie, get me the set designs, your after-school activity? Hmm? would you please. Andie: OK, fine. Pacey, do your dead-pan thing. Pacey: I’m telling you, all those things were Corrie, (the girl who forewent the date - both Andie’s ideas. Andie and her move towards the stage) when the Mr Broderick: Yes, sir. I mean, I- I was beginning phone rings I want you to do just like the stage to doubt myself there for a moment, but you guys directions, you know, confidential, um, laughing at are definitely in the groove. times, provocative, OK? OK, on my direction. (Andie returns with the set designs and gives (Pacey and Corrie position themselves standing them to Mr Broderick) around a table) Mr Broderick: The rest is just grunt work - Andie: OK. And… begin. memorisation, pacing - the easy stuff.

100 (he looks at the set designs that Andie has just Pacey: I’m sorry, what did you- I can’t hear you- brought back) it’s good to hear you’re so fired up about this Mr Broderick: Andie, these aren’t the set designs project. that we discussed. Andie: (yelling after him) Pacey, I said no. Andie: They are. I told Lauren you wanted a Pacey: (has continued talking) … it’s good. completely simplistic set - freestanding doorways, Andie: (frustrated) Oh, Pacey, I said no. hanging windows, and minimal props. (Capefest - Jen and Jack have just finished Mr Broderick: Well then I changed my mind, packing up and are about to start walking) didn’t I? I mean, the- the actors will send this stuff Jen: So all your efforts to secure some major flying around like a trapeze. (word - face?) time with the new beau backfired? Andie: No, no, no, Mr Broderick, we don’t- Jack: Yeah, well, it turns out that the gay version Mr Broderick: (impatiently) Andie, don’t argue, of the ‘let’s be friends’ speech is basically the just… follow orders. (to the actors) Alright. Let’s same as the straight version. run the scene again. Same way, no changes. Jen: Hmm. (smugly) So would that mean that the (Andie walks off the stage, down the stairs then part when you were rude and insensitive, and sent slams the set designs on a table and storms out of me off into the cold dark night unescorted - that the theatre—Pacey follows) was all for nothing? Pacey: Andie, you can’t leave like this, alright? Jack: ‘Rude’ is such a- a strong word. I- I prefer You said yourself that this guy thinks he’s something more like, uh, momentarily self- (words??) He’s just terrified that someone’s going involved? to find out that that he’s not. Jen: (laughs) Now that does have a certain ring to (they stop at the bottom of the stairwell) it. Andie: No, I can’t work under these conditions, Jack: (somewhat surprised) Am I forgiven? OK, it’s hard enough as it is. Jen: Yes, Jack, you are forgiven. You know, it’s a Pacey: OK, alright, if it’s hard, I’ll quit. happy turning point in a girls life when her gay Andie: You can’t do that. I mean, you’re… you’re best friend finally dumps her for another boy. They actually good. should make some sort of greeting card for that. Pacey: (smiles) Thank you. But the fact still (they stop walking) remains that you’re better, alright? We need you Jack: Wh- hold on, what happened? in there even if that guy’s a jerk. You gotta stick it Jen: What? out. I mean, I need you, McPhee. Jack: You’re good attitude. I mean, you’re Andie: What am I supposed to do? Resume wigging me out here. Explain. What did I miss? kissing his ass? Jen: Well, remember when you sent me off into Pacey: Yeah basically. the night and told me to make new friends? Andie: (sighs) Well, is he going to stay out of my Jack: Yes! I thought we already established that way? was not my finest hour. Pacey: Who Broderick? (laughs) You’re talking Jen: (smiling) I know. Well, let’s just say that… crazy talk, he’d never do anything like that. It’d be that while I was wondering around I may have… too easy. inadvertently stumbled upon somebody. Andie: (sighs again) Alright then, what’s in it for Jack: A, uh… friend? me? Jen: (still smiling) Yep. Pacey: Well that depends. I mean, are we talking (she begins to walk again - Jack follows) in concept or in theory? Jack: Anyone I know? (they smile) Jen: Yeah. Yeah, most definitely someone that Pacey: Alright, what’s the verdict, yes or no? you know. Andie: I thiiiiink… no. Jack: Well who is it? Pacey: Alright, good. (he puts his hands on her (they continue walking with their arms around one shoulders) I mean, you know actually, that’s kinda another’s shoulders) what I expected you to say, so, um… (he starts to Jen: (playfully) I’m not telling. walk back up the stairs) I’ll see you at rehearsal Jack: Who is it? then. Jen: Uh-uh. Andie: (calling after him) What? No, Pacey, I said (he starts to tickle her) no. Jen: (laughing) You’re not getting it out of me! (Dawson’s bedroom - Dawson is lying on his bed when a knock comes at his window) 101 Joey: (tentatively) Do I still have ladder Joey: I also wanted to remind you that, even privileges? though sometimes my emotions, particularly Dawson: (non-plussed) I suppose so. jealousy, uh, sometimes get the best of me, I still (Joey enters carrying a rolled up poster) hear you. No matter how much we yell, or, no Joey: I come bearing gifts. matter how quiet you are… I hear you, Dawson. (she unrolls the poster - it is a John Lennon Dawson: I hear you too, Joey. “Imagine” poster) Joey: Listen, I know what’s going inside of you is Joey: Do you remember? Do you remember that huge. (she sighs) It’s OK if you don’t share it with summer we came across a pile of Mitch and me. Just promise me you’ll keep trying to share it Gale’s old Beatles albums, and listened to them with someone? on the porch everyday for hours? Dawson: Do you want to give me a hand? Dawson: (laughs a little) Grams kept on yelling for (they stand on the bed and place the poster above us to turn down that hippy music. Dawson’s bed - then they stand back and Joey: (laughs too) Yeah. And you wanted to be evaluate how it looks) John Lennon. You wanted to write songs and Dawson: Hmm. So what do you think? You think change the world with your music. John here will inspire me to walk my own path? Dawson: I did? Joey: You’ve always walked your own path, Joey: You did. You weren’t just about Spielberg. Dawson. You just needed to widen it a little. You weren’t limited. You- you were about so many (pauses) And be on the look out for your Yoko. things. I just wanted to remind you of that. (he laughs a little and they go back to admiring (she holds out the poster to Dawson who takes it - the poster, side by side) she then sits down on a chair) (Ending credits)

102 A Weekend in the Country

[Joey’s House](The Big Chill is on television, Joey: You, Pacey Witter, single-handedly Kevin Kline and others are dancing in the kitchen encouraged this pipe dream. I mean, you should to ‘Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.’) know better than going around inspiring financially Joey: Who are these people? I mean , they’re and spiritually bereft people, people who have no dancing, nobody dances in the kitchen. business being inspired. Dawson: Your parents danced in the kitchen. I (There’s a knock at the door. Joey stops in her mean, my parents love this movie. This is like the tracks and looks fearfully towards Dawson and definitive movie of the entire Baby Boom Pacey. Dawson glances to the door, directing her generation. to open it.) Joey: (to Pacey) Do your parents dance in the Joey: (smiles, then to Pacey) Feet. (Pacey sighs kitchen? and takes his feet down from where he’s had Pacey: (looks up from the bowl of popcorn on his them propped up. Joey hurriedly fixes her hair and lap) My parents? No, they definitely don’t dance in opens the door. A couple stands there.) Can I the kitchen. help you? Joey: (handing popcorn to Dawson) Here. Woman: Hi, we were wondering… Dawson: I don’t know, I took all the movie Joey: Yes? pictures off my wall, everything’s in question, I Man: Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as figured why not something unexpected for movie your personal savior? God loves you. night. (He hands her a pamphlet.) (Pacey laughs. Joey: Oh, so we’re scaling new heights of Mount Dawson chortles. Joey smiles forcedly.) Lane? (Turns off tv) [Capeside High] Dawson: Sorry, Joey tonight’s activities were Henry: (Meeting up with Jen on the stairs) Hey. meant to calm your nerves, not agitate them. Jen: Hey! Stranger, where you been all week Joey: Well, that’s impossible. I mean, this Bed Henry: Workin’ and Breakfast has been open for a day, a very Jen: Miss Freckling must be keeping you busy, I costly Bed and Breakfast mind you, and there are don’t think I’ve seen you since Capefest. no guests. Have either one of you checked the Henry: Well, actually I’ve been working at the reservations list? There’s not a name to be found, Bass. not a one. Jen: My favorite restaurant. Do you work there full Dawson: Joey, it takes time to establish a time? reputation— Henry: No, just a week-long gig. Miss Freckling Joey: Dawson, Bessie and I have invested every heard that they had some roof problems so I dime we have. Along with guests, time is another offered my services. thing that we don’t have. Jen: That’s an expensive place. They better pay (The phone rings. Joey sighs hopefully and picks you well. (Jen opens her locker and pulls out it up.) books.) Joey: Potter Bed and Breakfast, can I help you? Henry: They did, but instead of cash I opted for a (Annoyed) No, actually I’m perfectly content with free dinner. my long distance service, thank you. (Excitedly) Jen: The implication being? But how ‘bout you? (Dawson smiles, Pacey eats Henry: That you and I are gonna meet there. more popcorn) I mean, thinking about a vacation? Jen: That’s funny, ‘cause I don’t recall being Come to the Cape, take a room at our lovely- asked. (Sighs and hangs up) She hung up on me. A Henry: You weren’t. See, I finally figured you out, telemarketer hung up on me. Jen. Given the opportunity to say no, you do. So, Pacey: Come on, Jo, keep the faith. I’m not giving you the opportunity. Joey: (Accusatory) Is that all you have to say, Jen: But then you’re also not giving me the considering that you were the primary force that opportunity to say yes. escorted Bessie and I down this road to economic Henry: Would you? Say yes? ruin? Jen: Probably not. Pacey: All I did was figure out a way to kick in Henry: So I’m not asking. some free labor. Jen: Henry, we’ve been over this before. Dating is a consensual activity.

103 Henry: Don’t get ahead of yourself, I never called Jack: Okay, so he knows that I don’t want to it a date. I said we’d eat dinner, you know, get to move home so he enlists you to speak for him. know each other. That’s what this is, isn’t it? Jen: I’ve been around the block enough to spot a Andie: (gathering her stuff) You know what, Jack, date in sheep’s clothing. thanks for you help, but I can manage on my own. Henry: Do you really think a kid like me would (She walks off) See ya. deem to consider himself worthy of dating a [Office] (Joey and Bessie are in a Loan Office) woman of your silk? Woman: Bess, I gotta be honest with you. I spoke Jen: Ilk. It- it’s ilk. to our manager about you, I made a personal Henry: See my point? What’s it gonna be? plea. But you’re a single mother with multiple Jen: It’s gonna be let me think about it. dependents, and an income-to-debt ratio that Henry: Now we’re talkin’. doesn’t even qualify for our most liberal profile. Jen: Yeah, but I didn’t say yes. Bessie: Is there something you could suggest? Henry: But you didn’t say no. (Runs off) I’ll see Some solutions? you ‘round, I’m late for class. Woman: Well, you could do what a lot of small Jen: Yeah, but I didn’t say yes. (The bell rings as businesses do, and that’s leverage your assets. she watches him go.) Joey: Unfortunately, our Microsoft options have [Hallway in Capeside High] (Andie sits on a been called and our yacht is in hock. bench, iBook nearby. Jack comes up to her.) Woman: Have you thought about taking out a Jack: Hey, my sister the future bureaucrat. How mortgage? goes it? Joey: On the house? Andie: Uh, to start with I have 42 ads, 10 bios and Woman: It is paid for, free and clear. a directors note that I have to turn into a play bill Bessie: Do you have an application?(Joey looks by Monday. In addition to which, I have to pick up astonished.) the posters, hang ‘em around town , get the [The Potter house] (Joey and Bessie drive up in tickets to the community box office and check to the truck.) make sure the local paper’s running our ad next Bessie: I’m just thinking about it. (gets out) week. Oh, and did I mention that I’m a student Joey: (angrily) Bess, it’s our house, where we with a little obligation called homework? live, the only connection we have to Mom. How Jack: (looking over her shoulder) And you’re not could you even think about it? very familiar with this layout program, are you? Bessie: Joey, everything takes longer and costs Andie: What gave that away? more than we expect. If there’s a way to take a Jack: Each of your words are in a different font. little out, then maybe we should. Andie: It’s a style choice. Joey: Well, you can’t do something like this Jack: And upside down. without my approval, and I’m not giving it to you. Andie: It’s a bold style choice. Bessie: Actually, I can. I’m an adult, you’re a Jack: Yeah, right. (He takes the computer and sixteen year old girl. sets it on his lap.) Joey: Bessie, I am your sister, a part of this Andie: What are you doing? family. If this thing doesn’t work out, I lose my Jack: Helping out a wayward sister. Where are house, the only tangible connection that I have— the bios? Bessie: (shouting) She left it to me, Joey. Just like Andie: In there. she left me in charge around here until you turn Jack: I don’t know how you keep all that together. eighteen. That’s a responsibility you can’t I mean, personally I wouldn’t be able to handle all understand. this. Joey: I know all about responsibility. Andie: You would if you had a supportive family Bessie: Do you? Because until you know what it’s to come home to every night. like to humiliate yourself by asking some trust- Jack: Thanks, but I’m happy where I am. fund snob who looked down on you in High Andie: You couldn’t be happy at home? School for money, I don’t want to talk about it with Jack: Not with him there, no. you anymore. Andie: Dad misses you. (Bessie goes inside. Joey walks down the steps, Jack: (laughs) Yeah, I’m sure he does. All those still upset. Dawson comes walking through the father-son heart-to-hearts we used to have… yard, camcorder in hand.) Andie: It’ll be different. Joey: Dawson?

104 Dawson: Hey. I figure, even if my film career is in your local B&B. Guests, if you would, please? no man’s land, I can still at least put this thing to (Grams enters with Jack, Jen and Andie.) We good use, right? have the sweet, God-fearing grandmother here to Joey: What are you doing? help her grandkids try to reconnect to the magical Dawson: Making a virtual tour of Capeside’s Creekside village where she frolicked as a little newest B&B. If we post this thing on the web, we girl. get it to all the Cape Cod visitor information Andie: I’ll need an 8am wake up call. sites— Jack: I take my OJ freshly squeezed. Joey: Dawson, we don’t exactly have the money Jen: Black coffee for me, and God help you if you for such frivolous things known as advertising. wake me up before noon. Dawson: Which is where this comes in. (Joey looks a little embarrassed) Joey: Look, I really appreciate the offer but— Pacey: (Mitch and Gale enter) And just to make Dawson: No buts, Jo. This is actually a really sure that our home is filled with happy, boisterous good idea. I mean, look at this place. Who people, we have a loving married couple here to wouldn’t want to come stay here if they could see spend a romantic weekend getaway. it from every angle and meet the charming (Dawson is crestfallen. Joey forces a smile.) proprietors beforehand? [Joey’s Porch] (Joey pulls Pacey outside with [Inside Joey’s house] (Joey scowls and drinks a Dawson in tow.) glass of juice. Dawson stands nearby with the Joey: One minor detail, Pacey, don’t you think camera.) you could’ve asked me first? Dawson: Uh, Joey if you could try to look Dawson: You think you could’ve left my parents welcoming that would be great, because anxiety out of it? really doesn’t fit in with this whole homey come- Joey: It was reckless. stay-with-us thing we’re going for. Dawson: And insensitive. Joey: Dawson, I do toilets and I do windows. I Pacey: Okay, one at a time, shall we? Starting draw the line at faux perkiness. with you. (pointing to Dawson) I only asked Mitch Dawson: Okay… to help, okay? It was his idea to bring Gale along. Pacey: (enters) Let me tell ya, kiddies, we are Dawson: His idea? looking good. Looking good. Pacey: Yes, his idea. So if you want to tear Joey: What canary did you swallow? somebody’s head off, why don’t you try the guy Pacey: Well, after having felt just a teensy, that sired you? (To Joey) And as for you, how weensy little bit of guilt over having wrongfully could you possibly be so ungrateful after just inspired this establishment, I took it upon myself to having witnessed an outpouring of love and expose the Potter B&B to the outside world via the support that would’ve made George Bayley mighty pen of Mr. Frederick Fricke. proud? Dawson: Fred who? Joey: (Angrily) There is nothing wonderful about Pacey: Fricke. He’s, I don’t know, he’s like the my life right now, okay? (She grabs the phone and Roger Ebert of the B&B world. Writes for Travel, gives it to him.) So I don’t care how you do it, but Travel and Leisure, and most importantly, he you get Mr. Fricke on the phone and you tell him writes for the New York Times travel section, the that there is no room at the inn. next edition of which will have nothing but glowing Pacey: Why? things to say about this establishment, because Joey: Because you don’t show a movie reviewer one Mr. Fred Fricke is frequenting here. a rough cut, and you don’t serve a food critic your Joey: He’s coming here? first stab at a new recipe. Especially if that recipe Pacey: Oh yeah, he’s on his way back to Boston is your last chance of keeping a roof over your right now. Happened to fit into his plans, I gave head. him a call… Pacey: What? Joey: Are you insane? Have you seen the half- Dawson: What do you mean, last chance? finished room? Have you tasted Bessie’s Joey: (hanging her head) Bessie is thinking about blueberry pancakes? We’re not ready for taking out a mortgage. something like this! Not to mention that we don’t Dawson: What? A mortgage? You can’t let her have any guests… risk the house! Pacey: I beg to differ, we do have guests. Not Joey: Dawson, does the term “legal guardian” only do we have guests, we have the perfect mean anything to you? guests for the perfect heartwarming weekend at 105 Pacey: Um, I’m sorry, Jo. I’ll make this right right Joey: (smiles nervously) You’re right, I did. My now, okay? mistake. (She leaves, shutting the door behind it. (There’s a knock at the door. Joey goes inside She leans back against it and sighs.) and finds a man in the front room.) [Jack and Andie’s Room] (Jack shivers as Andie Joey: (sarcastically) Don’t tell me, the Fuller walks to the dresser) Brush Man? Jack: Is it just me or is it cold in here? Mr. Fricke: Hardly. (He hands her his card.) Fred Andie: So, you think we can successfully Fricke, Bed and Breakfast Quarterly. Is now a bad impersonate brother and sister this weekend? time? (She opens a drawer) Joey: No. Not at all. Jack: I don’t see why not. (Joey looks worriedly back at Dawson, who throws Andie: Jack, I don’t know how you do it. I can a glance at Pacey. Pacey stares at the floor.) never get a good night’s sleep if I’m not in my own [Mitch and Gale’s Room] (Dawson enters.) bed. (Unpacks) Gale: Hi, Honey. Jack: (buttons up jacket) God, Andie. Listen to Dawson: So you two are staying in the me. I get the message, okay? If Dad wants me to honeymoon suite? move back home that’s fine, but you’re not going Gale: Well, we’re just here to help out Joey and to spend the next couple of days waging a subtle Bessie, Honey. Later tonight, after the critic is campaign to wear me down. asleep, your Dad is gonna go home and crash. Andie: (turns back innocently) Who me? (She hangs up clothes from her bag) Jack: (not convincingly) I’m serious. Any mention Dawson: Don’t you think it might be a little of home, house, any kind of dwelling where confusing, even hurtful to the child of a divorce to people live, I’m gonna go stay in Jen’s room. You see his parents playacting a happy marriage? understand? Mitch: Like your Mother said, Dawson, we’re just [Potter Bed and Breakfast] (Joey and Bessie look here to help out. on as Mr. Fricke sits on the couch.) Dawson: Dad, Pacey asked you to help out. He Bessie: (whispering) Does he look like he’s didn’t say anything about Mom. having a good time? Mitch: (slightly amused) Easy, Dawson. Listen, Joey: Does a lemon ever look like its having a you’re seeing something dark and complex here. good time? There’s nothing there. Bessie: Be nice, Joey. He’s just doing his job. Dawson: You know what I’m seeing? I’m seeing Joey: And we trust our entire future. two people who don’t know what the hell they Bessie: Where’s Pacey anyway? He said he’d want, and I’m sick of it. (He storms out.) help me turn down the beds. [Potter Bed and Breakfast] (Joey addresses Mr. Joey: He’s in the bathroom, counting animals two Fricke who stands inquiringly in the middle of the by two. room.) Bessie: Why? What happened? Joey: So, is there anything else I can get for you? Joey: What else? A flood. The toilet overflowed. Mr. Fricke: Heat. [Bathroom] (Pacey mops the floor frantically.) Joey: I beg your pardon? Pacey: Note to self. Career options. Delete hotel Mr. Fricke: It’s freezing in here. management. Joey: (goes to thermostat) Well, that’s because [Dock] (Dawson sits on the dock, gazing into the we’re an environmentally friendly inn. We like to distance. Mitch joins him.) conserve our natural resources, not to mention Mitch: You’re right. I didn’t ask her here for just save on our energy bills. any reason. Your Mother and I have enough of Mr. Fricke: (looking inside the room and coming the same friends for me to know what’s going on back out) What? No en suite commode? in her life. And she’s hitting a wall, Dawson. Every Joey: Excuse me? network, large and small, it seems, is passing her Mr. Fricke: (slowly, as if Joey was a little dense) by for a job. Where is the bathroom? Dawson: (surprised) She never told me that. Joey: Oh, just down the hall. It’s communal. Mitch: She didn’t tell me. Mr. Fricke: (dissatisfied) I see. Dawson: Well, no offense, Dad, but I’m her son. Joey: Well, enjoy your stay. Um, we serve high You’re her divorced husband. tea at five o’clock and breakfast tomorrow morning Mitch: I’m her friend. And I want her to know that, starting at seven. Enjoy your stay. whatever our history, I am there for her. I’m sorry Mr. Fricke: You said that already. if that threatens you. 106 Dawson: It doesn’t threaten me. Bessie: You know, you’re certainly behaving like Mitch: (annoyed) Well, it does something. a child. What is your problem? Dawson: It pisses me off. Joey: Bessie, do you even remember what it’s Mitch: It pisses you off that your parents have a like to be sixteen? Is it like some far off planet? cordial post-divorce relationship? (Joey goes back into the furnace room) Dawson: No, it pisses me off that I don’t know Bessie: I remember. what to believe anymore, okay? You’re married, Joey: Because it’s like you have all the you’re divorced. You’re enemies, you’re friends. responsibilities of an adult, but none of the What? authority. You can’t vote, you can’t drink, you can’t Mitch: We are trying very hard to be friends right make any definitive decisions about your life. now. (Joey tries to light a match) Dawson: Well, it’s a little late for that, don’t you Bessie: You think getting older automatically think? gives you more say in your life? Get real, Joey. Mitch: That’s where you’re wrong. There’s no You think I wanted to be stuck here at 26 taking time constraint about how long you can care care of two kids by myself? about someone, no limit on how much. Especially Joey: Well, I guess I missed the part where you if they’ve been so much a part of your life already. begged and pleaded with Bodie to stay. [Potter Bed and Breakfast] (Mr. Fricke is Bessie: I ask him to come home every chance I sandwiched on the couch between Joey and get, but he knows we can’t afford it. Trust me, this Bessie) is now how I planned for my life to turn out. Bessie: Now, this is our first full week of Joey: Well, I’m really sorry if Alexander are operation, Fred. putting a such a crimp in your lifestyle, but with Joey: So we’re still trying to work out all the kinks. any luck, I won’t be here much longer to trouble Bessie: I think our family style approach is what you. sets us apart form all the competition, Fred. Bessie: That’s not what I meant and you know it. (She puts her hand on his knee. Joey looks Joey: That’s certainly what it sounded like. (She worried) gets the match lit and lights the furnace.) Pacey: (Off Camera) Bathroom’s almost fixed! Bessie: You know, for a girl who supposedly Joey: We have great people working for us. wants to leave Capeside as soon as she can, you Bessie: Fred, have you met our on-site sure are putting a hell of a lot of effort into this handyman, Pacey Witter? place. Mr. Fricke: (Stiffly) No, I haven’t had the pleasure. Joey: (rises from the furnace) You’re right. Maybe Pacey: (enters, mop in hand) Rest assured, folks. it’s just time I stopped. I have everything under control now. Taken care (Bessie rolls her eyes.) of . (A thump is accompanied by a cloud of smoke [Outside the Bed and Breakfast] (Pacey is splitting coming from the overhead vent. They all look up.) logs with an axe. Mitch comes up behind him, Mr. Fricke: You might want to have Handyman eating an apple.) Witter check the furnace. (Pacey looks sheepish Mitch: Whose head was that? and exits.) Pacey: Ah, not to worry, Coach. If anybody’s [Potter Bed and Breakfast] (Joey pounds on the head belongs on the chopping block, it’s mine. furnace) (He puts another log on the block.) Bessie: Hey, we’re in luck. Fricke went into town Mitch: What makes you say that? to grab dinner. Pacey: Oh, let me count the ways, shall we? For Joey: Shoot. one, it was my idea to refurbish the old furnace Bessie: (laughs) I don’t think swearing at the instead of just buying a new one. (He chops.) thing’s gonna help. Mitch: Guilty as charged. Joey: (snidely) Oh, and flirting with it might? Pacey: Yeah, and this is the one you’re really Bessie: What’s that supposed to mean? gonna love. It was my idea to bring Herr Fricke Joey: (she rises and goes into the kitchen) down to our little weekend in the country. Nothing. I’m just a child, remember? I’ll just stick Mitch: You did? with the little things, you know, like how we’re Pacey: Yes. I did. Let me tell ya, (he chops) it was going to prevent everyone we know from freezing no easy feat, okay? I had to pull out all the stops to death in what’s supposed to be the coldest on that guy, use all my dazzling people skills. And night of the year? (She retrieves something form for what? A comedy of errors that’s probably going the cupboard.) to put the Sisters Potter in the poorhouse. (chops) 107 Mitch: (laughs) You know what I think? (throws Andie: (picking up a large mug with JACK written the apple core away) I think that if I were Joey and on the side) Coffee much? Bessie, I would consider myself very lucky to have Jack: (laughing) No. you in my life. (Mitch hands him another log) Andie: What’s this about? Pacey: Why? Everything and everybody that I Jack: That’s an inside joke, it’s kind of hard to touch, I screw up, all right? You’re aware of the explain. Midas touch, right? You’ve heard of that? Okay, Andie: It’s okay, you don’t have to. I get it. I well the Midas touch, whatever that is, I got the mean, you’re part of a family now. Families have opposite. (chops) three types of milk and inside jokes. Why would Mitch: Don’t be so sure. I mean, look at you. you want to move back into that big, cold house You’re still at it, right? You haven’t given up. Pace, with a man who has no idea what kind of milk you instead of dwelling on everything that’s gone drink or what kind of play you’re directing. You’re wrong this weekend, so far, um… think about really lucky. what you contributed. You’ve put a lot of selfless (Jack comes back from the door.) work into this place, right? That is the real Jack: It’s you, isn’t it? It’s not Dad that’s asking question. Listen, that goes to the heart of who me back home, it’s you. Pacey Witter is.Pacey (chops) What? Andie: I miss my brother, Jack. Especially when Mitch: What makes you care so much. my life gets crazy and I want somebody around to [Dawson’s House] (Gale and Dawson are share it with. And that’s not meant to make you rummaging through a closet.) feel guilty and its not meant as a sympathetic Gale: The heavy wool blankets are on the top plea. It’s just the truth. shelf. (Andie goes to the door. Jack looks guilty.) Dawson: I got it. (climbing up to reach them) Hey, [Outside] (Jen and Dawson stare up at the moon, Mom, I’m sorry. (He hands a blanket down to her.) which has a rosy cloud around it.) Gale: For what, Honey? Jen: Gorgeous. Dawson: For blowing up at you before. I Dawson: It’s pollution. Certain, uh, industrial should’ve been a little more sympathetic. It’s just pollutants make the moon appear more vivid. the rules of engagement keep changing on me. Right about now, some factory in Boston just Gale: Tell me about it. The post-divorce released something highly toxic into the air. landscape is like an emotional battlefield. Jen: You know, there was a time when you’d just Dawson: What I don’t understand is that you and see the magic in a sight like this. Dad seem to really like each other, still care about Dawson: I still do, it’s just—you know, I have a each other. (He grabs another blanket) bitter sense of the reality behind the magic. Gale: Well we do, Honey. Which is what makes Jen: Can I ask you something, just for the record? the knowledge that were better off apart even Dawson: Yeah, sure. Fire away. more difficult to bear. I mean, think about your Jen: When we were dating and I told you about own life. me, my past, um what was it that you were scared Dawson: What about it? of? Gale: You and Joey. The decision to break up it Dawson: I think anything that we don’t know or isn’t made in one sitting. It’s cumulative. You have understand can scare us, and I had certainly to re-decide over and over each day. never known anyone with your degree of life [Jen’s House] (Jack and Andie enter. Jack goes experience. I admit that I was madly infatuated into the next room while Andie looks at a note on with you. the refrigerator.) Jen: And you have one very intimidated Dawson Jack: Okay, I know there’s a space heater in here Leery. Do you think that most other boys would somewhere. react the same way? Andie: Hey, what’s Jack Milk? Dawson: I’d love to say no, but honestly I don’t Jack: What? know. I can’t know how anyone’s gonna react. But Andie: It says, ‘get more Jack Milk.’ I can tell you, just for the record, that how I Jack: (coming back into the room and heading to reacted was wrong. And that now I can see that the door) Oh, that’s whole milk. You know, Grams the only thing more beautiful than Jen Lindley is is skim, Jen’s one percent. the reality behind her magic. And I feel sorry for Andie: Ah everybody gets their own milk. any guy who’s too insecure to see that. Jack: Yeah, Grams isn’t commenting, but she [Potter Bed and Breakfast] (Mitch, Jack, Dawson runs a tight ship. and Pacey are all gathered round the fireplace, 108 trying to light a fire. Grams, Jen, Joey, Gale, Andie Jen: No, when class would get out at the Chapin’s and Bessie all sit nearby.) School in New York, um, there was this old Mitch: Okay, let’s get that right up there. storage room in the back of the auditorium that (All guys talk at once.) the drama club used to keep all their costumes Mitch: Air vents, okay? Guys, blow, blow, blow! and props in. God, I would spend hours in there (Nothing happens) hiding under Guinevere’s skirt, wrapped in Lady Jen: We’re so gonna freeze. Macbeth’s cloak. It always seemed like, no matter Grams: You’ll never get it started with the hickory what had happened or how bad the day had been on the bottom. May I? (She goes to the fireplace or how much I thought I was falling apart, there and arranges the wood.) Hickory is a glorious was nothing that could get to me in there. wood, but it’s a hard wood. Will never burn on its Jack: (laying by the fire) Kickapoo juice. It was own. Soft pine goes on the bottom, oak in the this grape juice, and they used to hand out a cup middle, hickory on top. (She lights it.) There we of it at the end of every day at summer camp. And go. the owner of the camp, Mr. A, gave it that stupid Mitch: Wow, I’m impressed. name. We all knew it was Hi-C. (transcriber’s Jen: You know, she churns her own butter, too. note: Product placement much?) Grams: Oh, I used to build a fire after dinner Pacey: This might sound a little goofy, but do you every night in the winter. Jennifer’s Grandfather think it’s actually possible to smell snow? would sit in his leather chair, feet on ottoman, and Mitch: Absolutely. read to me. Some nights we’d travel with Ahab in Pacey: Well, that’s my first memory, then. I don’t search of the great whale. Or some nights we’d know, I was maybe two or three years old. I just float down the perilous river with Huck and Jim. distinctly remember getting up on my tippy toes so Nearly every night, at some point in our journey, I could look through this half open window at the he’d fall asleep, chin on chest, book in lap, snow falling down on the frozen creek, and content. You know you love someone when you everything just blanketed in stillness. can spend the entire night just sitting by the fire, Andie: New car. We’d go on these family trips, watching him sleep. and dad would always request a brand new rental Gale: Sounds like you loved him very much. car. And I guess, um, that smell just reminds me Grams: Love is the hardest of woods. Takes a of all of us traveling together down some big open long, long time to heat up, but it does. highway. Jen: God, it smells good in here. Joey: Bacon. Sizzling, crackling, wafting into my Grams: Hickory burning in the hearth, smells like bedroom while I was still asleep, starting in my 46 years of my life. dreams and coaxing me into awake. Dawson: They say that smell is the most powerful Bessie: I know that smell. sense of recall that we have. It can bring back all Joey: Mom. kinds of buried experiences. Bessie: Yeah. Gale: Vanilla. Joey: See, every Sunday when she didn’t have to Mitch: (surprised) Still? work, she would make breakfast. And I would find Gale: Every time I smell it… Your Father worked my way down the hallway and stand next to her in a restaurant when we first started dating… by the stove. And we would talk about school, and Mitch: (laughs) The Franklin Family Fish House. boys, and we’d take the pancake batter and pour (Everyone laughs.) it into tiny molds shaped like pine trees and Gale: And every night after work, when he would animals. My Mom always loved to cook and take come to pick me up, he always smelled like care of everyone, and hated working at that bar vanilla. every night. She always told me not to worry, Mitch: Well, I used to soak my hands in it to, uh, because eventually she was going to make alleviate the smell of the cod. enough money and she was going to open up her Dawson: Phenylene diamine. It’s the main very own, um, her very own Bed and Breakfast. chemical used to process film, might’ve been the She obviously didn’t get the chance to see that first time I ever opened a film canister. It’s an dream happen, so I thought I would give it a shot. intense smell. At the time, it smelled like So, thank you everyone for coming and helping possibility. us. You’re the best fake guests a girl could ask Jen: (curled up in a blanket) Mothballs. I love the for. But really, you can all go home now. smell of mothballs. (Everyone laughs.) (Joey rises and walks across the room. She finds Mr. Fricke is in the doorway.) 109 Joey: Mr. Fricke, I’m really sorry this has been Bessie: I was up for hours last night, thinking such a horrendous experience. I realize it’s no five about what you said by the fire. And I went up to star B&B, but I’m pretty sure my mother would’ve the attic— loved it. Joey: (apologetically) Look, Bessie— [Joey’s Room] (Joey is asleep in bed. Voices Bessie: (she shows her an old Guest Book) Dad come from off camera. Joey opens her eyes and gave this to Mom for Christmas ten years ago. We gets up and smiles. Ain’t Too Proud to Beg plays. signed it over breakfast… her first guests. How The gang is in the kitchen dancing as they make could I have forgotten her dream? breakfast.) Joey: You’ve had a few other things to worry Andie: Woo! about, Bessie. The lives of two kids. Jen: Oh, yeah. (There’s noise from the other room.) Andie: Ow! (laughing) Mr. Fricke: (raising his glass in a toast) To the Jen: Ow, that hit me! Potter B&B! May it live long and prosper! Pacey: What kind of toss was that man? Pacey: Here, here. Andie: Okay! Oo! Oo! Oo! (singing along) Andie: Yay! Pacey: Ah! Ah! (handling the bacon) [Gale and Mitch’s Room] (Gale is at the mirror Jen: Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh, that smells good. fastening a necklace. Mitch is packing.) Joey: (smiling) So is someone going to tell me Gale: May I bother you? what’s going on? Mitch: Yeah. (He fastens the clasp for her.) You Pacey: Hey. Want some coffee? Could someone remember last night around the fire, that whole please get this lady a cup of coffee? nostalgia vanilla thing? That brought back another Joey: I thought everyone was going home. memory… Dawson: Well you know you sleep late, you miss Gale: The Fish Bistro. a lot. O okay you’ve done the bed thing its time for Mitch: Yeah. some breakfast Gale: How could I ever forget that pipe dream? (The gang gathers around the table with their Mitch: We thought that up when you were plates. Mr. Fricke is at the head.) pregnant with Dawson. Leery’s Fresh Fish. But Pacey: This is for you, Mr. Fricke. you know what? I think back to that time now, Joey: Morning, everyone. before the teaching and the coaching, that wasn’t All: Morning. really my dream at all. It was yours. Joey: Morning, Mr. Fricke. Gale: Well, I don’t know about that… Mr. Fricke: Morning. Mitch: I’m not saying that you bailed on it or Joey: You know, I know we still have a few kinks anything, I mean, it’s not your fault you were more to work out. We’ll probably never have the fine successful doing something else. (Gale looks linens and gourmet food that you’re used to. away) Anyway, I know that you’re interviewing Mr. Fricke: The heat didn’t work last night, but with a lot of different stations and everything, but this is one of the warmest places I’ve ever stayed. there is this little empty place by the river. I, um, (He lifts up a forkful of pancake.) And these came across it the other day and wrote the pancakes may be the best in the county. number down, (he hands her a paper from his Andie: All right! pocket) just in case you wanted to take a look at Joey: (confused) Um, what am I missing? it. Bessie: Why, whatever do you mean? Gale: Thank you, Mitch, but that dream was so Joey: Well, for one thing your pancakes are very long ago. nowhere near this good, Bessie. Mitch: Seems like yesterday to me. Pacey: Well, then perhaps we should pay our [The Docks] (Henry and Jen sit outside talking.) compliments to the chef, huh? Henry: So this is why you brought me here? All: (chanting) Chef, chef, chef, chef! Jen: Henry, I just shared with you all the events of Bodie: (entering the kitchen with Alexander in his my sordid past, a veritable laundry list of sexual arms) Now who here wants seconds? crimes and misdemeanors. Joey: (rising and hugging him) Bodie? What are Henry: Yeah? you doing here? Jen: (confused) So, so you’re not acting Bodie: What do you mean? I wouldn’t miss this disgusted or self-righteous or intimidated or even for the world! agog? (Bessie pulls Joey aside into a neighboring room.) Henry: Why would I be any of those things? Jen: Because that’s how boys always react. 110 Henry: Whatever you did before is part of what Jen: Oh, just in time to carry our bags. (They makes you who you are. And I’m thankful for that. hand him their bags.) Jen: Did you just say what I think you said? Jack: (setting them down) Uh, listen there’s Henry: Whatever it was, I think I did, yeah. something I want to talk through with you guys if Jen: (smiling) Who are you, Henry Parker? you have a second. [Outside the Potter B&B] (Pacey is setting up the Jen: Absolutely. What is it? camcorder on a tripod while Dawson looks on.) Jack: Okay, uh, Andie is, um, Andie’s giving me Dawson: Pacey, do you have any idea what the hard sell about moving back home. you’re doing? Jen: Well, what about your Dad? Pacey: Well, I have put a lens cap on before, Jack: As much as I thought it was, my moving yeah. back home doesn’t really have anything to do with Dawson: I meant just in general. Everything’s my Dad. He’s not there half the time anyway. It’s changing so rapidly, I’m having troubles finding about Andie. You see, when you guys invited me my bearings, you know? last summer to stay with you, I didn’t have Pacey: I’ll second that emotion. anything or anyone. And it was so generous of Dawson: You know, I lay awake at night on my both of you and it’s not that you just offered me a bed staring at my walls, which are now blank home, it was the act of reminding me that except for a Lennon poster, trying to imagine the somebody cared about me when I didn’t really feel future… and it’s as blank as the walls. All I can like I deserved it. And now Andie needs to be see is a past that’s barely recognizable anymore. reminded of that. I’m her brother. So look, I’m Perfect example: you. sorry. I want you to think that I appreciate Pacey: Me? everything and you did so much for me and I— Dawson: Yeah, you concocted this whole Jen: Go home, Jack. Go home. (The three of metamorphosis. You used to be glib and them hug.) predictable. I don’t know, I mean I thought it was, [Potter Bed and Breakfast] (Pacey enters. Music you know, your relationship with Andie, but now montage begins.) you’re not with her and still… I guess what I’m Pacey: Potter? Potter, look, I talked to the furnace trying to say is, thank you. guy. He said he could come by tomorrow if you Pacey: For what, man? didn’t…(He finds Joey asleep by the fire. He walks Dawson: For doing what I asked you to do: taking over and kneels beside her, tucking her in. He care of Joey. You really went above and beyond watches her for a moment, then walks away.) the call. I mean, you did something really special [Outside. Night.] (Bessie, Bodie and Alex sit for her. I’m glad she has you. outside together, playing by candlelight.) Pacey: Let me tell you something, Man. It’s no [Docks. Night.] (Henry and Jen sit together, picnic, okay? That Potter girl, she ain’t easy, talking.) alright? She’s physically incapable of keeping her [Street. Night.] (Gale walks along, and looks at the mouth shut for more than two seconds at a time. property by the river hopefully.) She’s got an opinion about everything. I mean, it’s [Jen’s house] (Jack sadly pulls a dreamcatcher off uncanny, alright? So anytime you want to jump the wall, and puts it in a box. He takes the box out back in there, you just let me know, because I am of his room, turning off the light and shutting the eager to return to our regularly scheduled door.) programming. That good enough for you? [Dawson’s room] (Dawson stares with deep Dawson: That’ll do fine, Pace. concentration at the wall and sees his Imagine [Joey’s Porch] (Grams and Jen are leaving with poster.) their bags.) [Potter Bed and Breakfast] (Pacey stares with Grams: (singing) Sunshine all over the place, just deep concentration at Joey as she sleeps by the put on a happy face. fire. It looks as though he could sit there all Jen: Did you mix your red pills with your blue night…) ones today? (Ending credits) Grams: I like that song. (Jack comes up to them.) Ah.

111 Northern Lights

[Outside Joey’s House] (Through a window, we Pacey: (slightly offended) Yeah, I’ve heard of can see Pacey inside.) them. I mean, I may not be Ivy League material, Pacey: Tomorrow night will be your night. We’ll do but if you give me a road map and a remote whatever you want. control, I can probably find my way to The Joey: Something wild, insane and crazy? Discovery Channel and back. Pacey: I promise. Joey: Yeah, well there’re like ten nights out of the Joey: Like what? year when you can actually see the northern lights Pacey: Like I’ll come home from work early and from this part of the world and tomorrow may be we’ll wallpaper each other. (Inside. Joey pauses one of them. And if you factor in the recent to look at the script.) sunspot activity, there- Joey: No way. Sorry, we’re done. Pacey: Northern lights, my ass. This guy is Pacey: What? We can’t stop now! I don’t know obviously just trying to separate you from the this stuff at all! Potter pantalones. Joey: Sorry, Master Thespian, but the whole next Joey: (annoyed) Pacey, read a newspaper once page consists solely of cooing, tickling and lap- in a while. You cannot fake geomagnetic activity. sitting—three things definitely not in my range as Pacey: What? Well, yeah you can. Sure you can. an actress. You can fake anything. Pacey: (angrily) Okay, you’re gonna be sorry Joey: No. tomorrow night when I get up on that stage and Pacey: Especially if you’re some Ivy League panic, draw a complete blank and then just start egghead and its all part of some grand ad-libbing obscenities to the crowd. astronomical make-out scam. I’m talking as the Joey: (hesitantly) Actually, Pacey, I kinda thought voice of reason here, okay? I mean, come on. The I’d go on Saturday. chances of the northern lights appearing in the Pacey: (looks crestfallen) Saturday? night sky above Capeside are about as good as Joey: Yeah. the chances of me acquitting myself with Pacey: No, no, you don’t wanna come on distinction on that stage tomorrow night. Saturday. You gotta come on Friday, it’s opening Joey: Yeah, well call me crazy, but I’ll take those night! Much better chance you’ll get to witness odds any day. some amusing disaster. You know, like seeing me [Credits] falling on my head or perhaps my co-star [Outside Capeside High] (Dawson and Joey walk hyperventilating from one of my intoxicating stage to school) kisses. Dawson: So what do you think? Joey: (drolly) Yeah, you’re known for those. Joey: What do I think? Pacey: (laughs) So, what do you say? Front row Dawson: Yeah. center? Joey: I think you’re going to be pretty bored in Joey: (wiping the table) I can’t. I kinda have this study hall, Dawson. thing I have to do on Friday night. Dawson: It could be a very interesting opportunity Pacey: (suspiciously) What thing? to study some human behavior while I figure out Joey: (quietly) It’s just this thing—this guy. what my next move is going to be. Pacey: What guy? Joey: Just don’t go joining the yearbook, okay? I Joey: AJ. mean, it’s bad enough that Pacey’s doing this Pacey: (really high pitched) College guy?! whole play thing. Joey: He’s coming out to the Cape for a party and Dawson: Tonight’s opening night isn’t it? he invited me to go with him. Joey: Yeah I- (She’s interrupted as Nikki comes Pacey: (high pitched again) You’re goin’ to a frat up to Dawson) party?! Nikki: You dropped film class? Are you insane? Joey: He’s not that kind of a college guy, Pacey. I Joey: Um... I can tell you guys have a lot to mean, have you ever heard of the Aurora discuss, so see you later. (She leaves) borealis? Nikki: (unsurely) This doesn’t have anything to do Pacey: (knowingly) The northern lights. with the film festival, does it? Joey: Yes. Dawson: No, its just, I need to walk away for a little while, you know? Recharge my batteries.

112 Nikki: Well, the least you could’ve done was given Jack: I can do the tickets and the after party. me a heads up. We’re partners, Dawson. And in Mr. Broderick: There you go. Jack will help you. three days, we’re supposed to stand in front of our Andie: But- but— entire class and pitch a feature film. Mr. Broderick: I have faith in you, Andie. I mean, Dawson: Nikki, I’m sure Mr. Jordan would be who am I kiddin’? It’s been your show all along. more than happy to give you an extension and get This is your night. (He hands her a black binder) you another partner. Here. Nikki: I don’t want another partner. I want you. Andie: Your director’s binder? Dawson: Look, who are you kidding? You’ve Mr. Broderick: It’s yours now. And as the house probably got the entire assignment done already. lights fall over that magic place we call the theater, Nikki: (guiltily) Well, yeah. But I was gonna ask all I ask is that you give pause for a fleeting for your ideas! moment... and think of me. (Andie looks stricken. Dawson: Well, if you did you would’ve realized Jack tries not to laugh, but can’t help but chuckle.) that I don’t have any. [Capeside High Hallway] (We see Jen as she Nikki: You don’t have any ideas? Dawson, you walks towards the stairs. She looks down and are the most creative person in the class! sees Henry at his locker.) Dawson: See, that’s where you’d be wrong, Jen: Henry! because as of 8:15, I’m now the most creative (Henry immediately closes his locker and runs off. person not in the class. Jen goes down the stairs after him.) [Backstage at Capeside High] (Pacey and “Corie” Jen: Wait, Parker! Parker, wait up! walk nervously) (She chases him. He’s running out of the building. Corie: How are we supposed to go up tonight if She cuts him off and catches him as he’s coming you keep forgetting your lines? out the door.) Pacey: I know the lines, okay? It’s just that I got a Jen: Hi, Henry. bit of recall delay, that’s all. Henry: Jen. (He starts walking away. She follows Andie: (walking frantically) Where’s Mr. him.) Broderick? Our play is falling apart at the seams! Jen: Okay, why are you avoiding me? (She passes Pacey who’s just kind of standing Henry: Why are you canceling my dinner there) Pacey. Just take it from the top. tomorrow? Pacey: Sure thing, boss. (He just keeps on Jen: What makes you think that I’m canceling? standing there.) Henry: Ever since you agreed to this little dare-I- Andie: Your entrance. call-it date, you don’t even make eye contact with Pacey: Entrance, right. (He goes off. Jack enters) me in the hallway. It’s like you’ve got this giant Jack: Andie, Andie. blind spot in exactly my shape and size. Andie: (exasperated) Not now, Jack. I- I- we’re Jen: Okay, don’t you think that maybe you’re just trying to do this line read-through but Pacey has being a little bit paranoid? conveniently chosen to leave his memory at Henry: Are you or are you not canceling our home. date? Jack: Yeah, well about thirty minutes ago in Jen: I’m not. I’m not canceling anything. English class, Mr. Broderick... Henry: (stops and smiles) You’re not? Andie: What? Jen: No. No, I’m- I’m just postponing. (Henry turns Jack: Just come with me. Come on. and walks away angrily.) [Capeside High Nurse’s Office] (Mr. Broderick lays Jen: Look, see its Pacey’s opening night and I on a cot, a damp cloth on his head.) just figured that maybe I should be there to Mr. Broderick: (quite the martyr) The nurse thinks support him. its a kidney stone. My wife’s picking me up in five Henry: So that’s all this is about? The play? minutes. Jen: Yeah. Yeah, that’s all this is about. Andie: No, no, no, no. The play’s going up in less Henry: Well, great. than 8 hours! Jen: (caught off guard) What do you mean, great? Mr. Broderick: I’m sorry, Andie. I’m not gonna Henry: I’ll go with you. To the play. What time’s make it there. You’re gonna have to take my curtain? place. Jen: (pauses, somewhat reluctantly) Seven. Andie: No, you don’t understand. See, I have, Henry: Alright, I’ll be there. I mean, if that’s all um, tickets to sell and the after party to set up. I right with you. can’t do everything by myself. 113 Jen: (not believably) Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine. (She Latin, that’s a dead language. (Bessie comes watches him walk away, looking guilty.) back inside) [Joey’s house] (Bessie is attempting to get Joey to Bessie: He’s here. use an eyelash curler) Pacey: Okay, thank you. (He promptly puts his Joey: Don’t even think about coming near me with hand on her face and pushes her out of the room, that medieval torture device. (There’s a knock on shutting the door behind her.) It’s not too late to the front door) bail, okay? Believe me. Joey: (panicking) That can’t be him. Joey: (getting annoyed) Why would I want to do Bessie: Relax. I mean, let Bodie get it and finish that, Pacey? telling me how I’m not supposed to worry about Pacey: Because this guy’s an operator, okay? I you going out with some much-older guy. can tell, I mean, you know the first thing he’s Joey: He’s not that old, Bessie. He’s like 19. gonna do when he comes through that door is (There’s a knock on the door of their room. Bessie he’s gonna pay you some lame compliment about opens it, shuts it) how incredible you look tonight. (He says the last Bessie: Well, it’s a boy. Just not the one we few words with complete honesty as he looks her expected. (She opens the door again and lets over.) Pacey in as she leaves.) Joey: Pacey— Pacey: (talking very fast this whole scene) Okay, Pacey: I’m just lookin’ out for you! (He follows her so I tanked. I did. I completely tanked. out of the room) And then he’ll try something cute, Joey: (motherly) Calm down, Pacey. You’re just like a negligible, but not entirely insignificant, nervous. amount of physical contact, you know what I Pacey: No, no, no, this is way beyond nervous. mean? Like helping you on with your coat, hmm? You know that read-through I had today? I Joey: (angrily) It’s called being a gentleman, couldn’t remember a single line. Pacey. I’m surprised you’ve heard of it. Joey: (calmly) I don’t know why you’re psyching Pacey: (even faster) And this party he’s yourself out like this. You know the play, Pacey. supposedly taking you to, I bet it doesn’t even We went through it two nights ago. exist. And if it does exist, I will lay you money that Pacey: No. I know the play when I’m running it our boy wonder over there (motioning towards AJ with you. When I gotta do it with actual human who’s standing in the foyer, looking anxious) beings, nothing. seizes the first possible opportunity to get you Joey: I know I suck for not being there. I’m sorry. alone. Pacey: (a little angrily) You do suck for not being Joey: (commands Pacey as she would a dog) there, don’t ya? (going back to the fast talking) Stay. (She walks over to AJ. They stare for a Listen I’m gonna give you the opportunity to get second at each other.) back in my good books, okay? There’s still the AJ: Hey. after party I told you about and, you know, don’t Joey: (quietly) Hi. say no too quickly because you’re definitely going AJ: You look, uh you look amazing. to need a shoulder to cry on after this whole Joey: I should get my coat. (Pacey watches as northern lights thing doesn’t work out. she gets it out of the closet. AJ helps her put it on. Joey: (chuckles) Okay, I’ll try but don’t count on it, Pacey looks on with hurt and anger. She looks at alright? Current geomagnetic conditions are him for a second with half-guilty, half-annoyed extremely favorable for auroral activity, actually. eyes.) Pacey: Where did all this scientific mumbo-jumbo [Outside a large house on the Cape] (AJ walks come from? I thought this AJ dude was a poetry down a staircase with two pewter mugs in his geek. hands. He brings them over to Joey who’s looking Joey: (proudly) He’s interested in more than just up at the sky) that. He’s a Renaissance man. Joey: (greeting him) Hey. Thank you. So, who are Pacey: Fantastic. He can bore you in 7 all these people? languages. AJ: Well, the guy who owns the place is a Joey: No, just three actually. English, French and mathematician. Once upon a time, he was my Latin. mentor. Pacey: Latin? Joey: And everybody else? Joey: Mm-hmm. AJ: His grad students mostly, some Pacey: Who speaks Latin? I mean, like Spanish, astrophysicists and left-leaning impoverished now that’s the foreign language of the people. But academics, can’t you tell? 114 Joey: And how would I tell? Andie: Okay, Dawson, don’t look, just find, AJ: Well, by the cheap haircuts, the unfortunate please? And tell him not to worry, I’m not going to fashion sense, (he takes a drink and grimaces) kill him. Till after the show. (Jack gives Dawson a the pretentious taste in beverages. (throws it out) worried look as Andie walks away) It’s mead. It’s what Beowulf drank before he slew [Capeside High School Gym] (Pacey is playing Grendel. (Joey starts to drink) basketball, already decked out in his costume and AJ: (stops her) You know, I wouldn’t its-- (he fake sideburns. Dawson enters and watches him takes the glass) for a moment. Pacey gets a basket and Dawson Joey: Can’t I have some? claps. Pacey turns, surprised to see him) AJ: No, no, no. It’s alcoholic. Pacey: How’d you find me? Joey: Ah. I thought that’s what college guys look Dawson: I have the misfortune of knowing how for. your brain works. (Pacey takes a shot and makes AJ: What? it) Joey: Opportunities to get high school girls all Pacey: You know, I seem to recall that the last liquored up. time you and I were on a basketball court AJ: Well, only ones with very little imagination. together, I ended up getting my nose broken, Alcohol isn’t exactly the most sophisticated way to didn’t I? seduce a girl. (realizes what he just said) I mean, Dawson: (he takes the ball) Pacey, we don’t have there are better ways to go about it. Not that I’m- I time for this. You’ve got a show to do. mean… I wasn’t-I’m not planning on— Pacey: Just a couple more. You know it helps, it’s Joey: (looking around) Where’s everyone going? part of the whole acting process. (Dawson passes AJ: Oh. Cloud cover. Viewing conditions aren’t the ball to him) exactly clear. Dawson: So what are you so nervous about? It’s Joey: Does that mean no lights? not like you’ve never acted before. AJ: Well, not necessarily. It could clear up before Pacey: (nervously) Yeah. How many times did it midnight. take me to actually get that sea creature thing Joey: (sadly) Midnight? right? AJ: Yeah, for some unknown reason, midnight, Dawson: Good point. astronomical midnight to be exact, is the best time Pacey: Yeah. And at that point how many people for viewing auroral displays. were watching me? (Pacey shoots) And for that Joey: (laughing) So… that means we have quite matter, how many ex-girlfriends were there a wait in store for us. counting on me to do a good job? AJ: You’re not gonna turn into a pumpkin if I keep Dawson: (rebounds the ball) Let me ask you you out that late, are you? this…acting… do you like it? You having fun? Joey: (she shakes her head and shivers) But I Pacey: I kinda got blackmailed into the whole might freeze to death so… maybe we should go in thing, but yeah, I’d have to say it’s been fun. side…mingle with those astrophysicists. Actually, it’s been a blast. AJ: Let’s take a walk first, want to? Dawson: So then go in on stage tonight and have Joey: (looking pensive) Sure. a blast. (He spins the ball on his finger and then [Capeside High School outside the auditorium] shoots it) That’s all that matters, man, find what (Jack is at a table handing out programs. Dawson you love to do and do it. is at the table to get one. Andie walks up, dressed Pacey: (rebounds the ball) This is coming from a all in black) guy who just gave up his life’s passion to hang out Andie: (frantically) Oh, Dawson, there you are! with the underachievers in fourth period study hall, Where’s Pacey? right? Dawson: Uh, as director shouldn’t you have a Dawson: I didn’t give it up. (Pacey shoots) I just better idea of that than I do? decided to spread it around a little bit (Dawson Andie: (panicking) Oh! goes for the ball) Jack: What’s going on? Pacey: (annoyed) When did you become all zen? Andie: Well, it’s only twenty minutes till curtain I thought you of all people would be freaking out call and my lead is nowhere to be found. big time right now. Jack: I swear I saw him come in earlier. Dawson: Why? Andie: Okay, so he’s got to be around here Pacey: Well, I don’t know, maybe because of somewhere, right? Joey’s big date with college guy? Dawson: I’ll go look for him. 115 (Dawson shooots and misses,.he runs after the Andie: But you can! (dragging him over and ball) putting a tie on him) Come here. You know what, I Dawson: (laughs) I really suck at this game. gave up on you knowing this word for word a long (anxious to change the subject) Alright, come on time ago, so you’re just going to get the general Olivier, your public awaits. gist of it and you are gonna be fine, okay? Come Pacey: What- what if this guy is some big sex on, let’s go. maniac? Pacey: (hesitantly) Uh- Dawson: (calmly) Joey’s a big girl. I’m sure she Andie: (pushing him towards the stage) Let’s go, can take care of herself. you’re up! Pacey: Take care of herself? That’s all you’ve got Pacey: Uh, I don’t know, uh— to say about this? You know were talking about Andie: Come on, come on, come on. Oh wait! No, Josephine Potter, the girl whose destiny is no, no, suitcase! (she picks up a suitcase that’s intrinsically linked to your own? laying around and hands it to him. He looks out Dawson: It had to happen eventually. You said warily at the audience) Okay, go! (She pushes him that yourself. Let’s go. (Dawson exits and Pacey onstage) grudgingly follows) Corie: (running to him) Oh, Paul darling! (She [Capeside High Auditorium] (Henry walks around gives him a long, forceful kiss) looking lost. He spots Jen in one of the seats. She Pacey: (tongue tied) Uh— looks back and waves) Corie: Well? Say something! (Dawson looks on Jen: (trying to get his attention) Hi. Henry. from the audience) Henry: Jen, I thought we were gonna meet out Pacey: Uh- (breathes heavily and looks nervous) front. (From backstage, Andie motions for him to do Jen: Oh, I thought that whoever got here first was something) supposed to save seats, so I did. (She turns to Pacey: (still breathing heavily, regaining his Grams who’s sitting beside her) Henry, I’d like you composure) It’s six flights! Did you know that it’s to meet my Grams. six flights? (He throws down his coat. The Henry: (stuttering) Your- your grandmother? audience laughs) Jen: Yup, uh, Grams this is Henry Parker. Corie: It isn’t, it’s five! (Backstage, Andie rejoices) Grams: Oh, well what a pleasant surprise. I’ve [Outside on the beach] (Joey and AJ walk in the heard so much about you. moonlight) Henry: Nice to meet you. AJ: Think you wanna go to an Ivy League school? Grams: Jennifer, why didn’t you tell me Henry Joey: (shrugging) I dunno. I just know that if I was coming? I would have gladly stayed at home don’t try, you know, I’ll always wonder. so that you two could be alone. AJ: Wonder what? Jen: (as the lights dim) You know what, it looks Joey: If I was good enough, smart enough to do like the show’s starting. We should take our seats. something really important with my life. (She maneuvers so that Grams is sitting between AJ: You sound pretty driven. her and Henry. He looks miserable as the Joey: (laughs) Yeah, driven by fear of failure. audience applauds) AJ: You know, I think maybe sometimes that [Backstage] (Andie runs frantically, as we hear the happens to girls who lose their mothers when actors giving their lines onstage) they’re really young. They’re really driven to Telephone man: How long did you say you’ve succeed. been married? Joey: Like Madonna? (laughs) Corie: Six days. AJ: Well, I was thinking more along the lines of Telephone man: He won’t notice the place is the Bronte sisters, but— empty till June. Joey: For a while, I thought I liked art. Andie: (directing one of the actors) Dawn, we’ve AJ: But now you don’t anymore? got to get you buttoned, okay? You look great, Joey: No, it- I do, I—It’s—I don’t know. It’s like don’t be nervous. there’s this person that you wanna be for other Pacey: (entering) Andie- Andie. people, you know, and to make them happy and Andie: (really fast)_Pacey, no! How could you do to make them proud of you. And then there’s this to me? I sent your understudy into makeup yourself and sometimes its really hard to tell fifteen minutes ago! where one ends and the other begins. Does that Pacey: (nervously) That’s good, um, I think he make sense? should stay there, cuz, Andie, I can’t do this. 116 AJ: Yeah. Completely. You know, in Medieval Pacey: You know, you better watch out. I think Europe, they used to think the Northern Lights Grams is moving in on your date. were spirits of dead warriors. Jen: And I think you’d better stick to comedy Joey: And now? that’s scripted. AJ: Well, now we just know that they’re charged Pacey: Good enough. Thanks for coming tonight. particles of the sun interacting with the earth’s Jen: I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Opening atmosphere. night, packed house— Joey: (laughs) Charged particles. Not too Pacey: And not a Witter in attendance, what a romantic. surprise. But Dawson’s here. AJ: Think about it from the particles’ point of view. Jen: Yeah, I saw him. Explicably drawn to something, unable to resist. Pacey: And Jack. (He moves in and they kiss. They pull away and Jen: That he is. stare at each other open-mouthed) Pacey: And of course, you. Joey: (smiles and looks nervous) Um, you know, I Jen: I am. But you know who’s not here? just remembered I’m supposed to meet someone Pacey: Uh, the critic from the Capeside Clarion? somewhere. Jen: Joey. AJ: Now? Pacey: She couldn’t make it. Big date. Joey: Yeah. Can we go? Jen: That’s too bad. She missed a great show AJ: Yeah, sure. and an incredible leading man. [Capeside High Auditorium] (Pacey (Paul) is up in Pacey: Well, thank you much. the rafters while Corie looks on) Jen: Of course, you hardly noticed. Pacey: I’ll come down when you’ve said it again, Pacey: Hardly. loud and clear. Jen: Barely missed her. (Joey comes up behind Corie: What? Anything, Paul! them) Pacey: Paul Bratter— Joey: Missed who? Corie: (repeating) Paul Bratter— Pacey: Nobody. Pacey: Rising young attorney— [After Party] (Dawson sits alone at a table, Nikki Corie: (she screams) Rising young attorney— comes up to him with a plate) Pacey: Is a lousy stinkin’ drunk! Nikki: I come bearing crudite. Corie: Is a lousy stinkin’ drunk… and I love him. Dawson: Thank you, I think. Pacey: I love you too, Corie. I mean, even when I Nikki: You know, Dawson, I think you’re taking didn’t like ya, I loved ya. this whole precocious teenager thing a bit too far. Corie: Then please come down, Darling, please! I mean, people shouldn’t get disillusioned and (Andie looks on and smiles) give up the biz until they’re at least, I don’t know, [The After Party] (Jack comes up to Andie with a 25. large bouquet) Dawson: It’s not that big a deal, all I’m doing is Jack: For you. drooping an elective. Andie: Oh, you shouldn’t have. Nikki: Film. You dropped film. I thought that was Jack: If you don’t want em, that’s— who you are. Andie: No. I cannot believe that you did this in Dawson: It’s part of who I am. Remember at your one afternoon, Jack, I mean it’s amazing. house how you were talking about how there were Jack: Come on, you’re the amazing one, Sis, and so many different things to be passionate about? one word about how my people excel at Nikki: Sure. decorating, you’re dead. Dawson: Well, on that day I took all the movie Andie: (to Jen who stands nearby with Henry and posters off my walls. Every last one. There’s this Grams) Hey. image that I keep on coming back to. I’m ten years Jen: Congratulations. old, my parents have taken me to see Jurassic Andie: Oh, thank you so much. (Andie and Jack Park. I’m sitting there, fourth row center, popcorn walk away, leaving Jen with Henry and Grams. in lap, flanked by Mom and Dad. These two She looks antsy) teenagers walk in, a guy and a girl, probably Jen: You know, if you guys wanna grab some about our age. They sit in front of us and they punch or something, I’m, um- um- I’m just gonna proceed to make out throughout the entire movie. be right back. (She walks over to Pacey as Henry And I remember sitting there just being shocked looks on nervously) that anyone would rather kiss than watch this miraculous fantasy unfold on screen, you know? 117 But actually I tapped the guy on the shoulder and Joey: What? asked if he wouldn’t mind keeping it down. He Pacey: Well, I think your date may not be over so looked at me like, one day kid you’ll get it. And soon after all. (He points across the room. AJ is here I am, all these years later, and I’m still not the standing there. Joey looks and turns back) kid who goes to the Movie Theater to make out, Pacey: Well, go on. You know you want to. and I’m not the kid who sat between his parents. Joey: Okay. (She hands him her drink) Thanks. I’m this third person who’s so busy analyzing (She walks away while he watches sadly) everything that I can’t enjoy anything. I mean, the Henry: Jen! (The crowd looks up) other two guys, they were having fun. I’m just not Jen: Henry, what the hell? (He has climbed up anymore. And that’s why I dropped film. into the rafters just as Paul did in the play) Crowd Nikki: So, uh, where are you gonna find this joy members: He’s up in the rafters! Check it out! you once had but have now lost? Henry: Jen! Dawson: I have absolutely no idea. Any [After Party] (Henry is up in the rafters) suggestions? Jen: Henry, get down. Nikki: Where were you when you had it last? Henry: No. (Dawson eats, but doesn’t answer) Jen: I’m- I’m not kidding. Get down from there. [After Party] (Joey and Pacey talk) Henry: I’ll come down when you say it loud and Joey: So you’re a huge hit. I told you everything clear. would work out. Jen: What? Say what? Pacey: What’re you doing here? Renaissance Henry: I, Jen Lindley— man bail on you? Jen: (embarrassed) I, Jen Lindley— Joey: No, it’s just that it was getting late and the Henry: Am embarrassed to be here on a date with clouds are moving in and since it’s overcast Henry Parker. there’s really no chance of actually seeing the Jen: Am embarrassed to be here on a date with Northern Lights from this latitude, plus it was Henry Parker. Now get down! getting cold so we just decided that- Henry: I ignored him— Pacey: He kissed you, didn’t he? Jen: I ignored him— Joey: (freezes) What makes you say that? Henry: I’ve taken him for granted— Pacey: (sincerely) He’d have to be a moron not Jen: I’ve taken him for granted— to… and your lipstick is smeared all over your Henry: And spent the last five months of my life face. making him miserable. All to disguise the Joey: (rolls her eyes) That’s what I get for letting horrifying fact that I like him. Bessie talk me into Very Berry, I guess. Crowd member: Get over it, Jen! Pacey: So are you gonna see this guy again? Jen: (not going to give in) Henry, get down. Joey: I don’t know. I mean, what’s the point? I (Henry looks crestfallen) mean, he’s older than me, he’s smarter than me, Henry: Could someone get a ladder? (The crowd lives far away, a very not-insignificant problem laughs) seeing as I can’t even drive yet. How could I ever [Docks] (Joey and AJ walk along the water) feel about him the way that I— Joey: What made you come back? Pacey: Feel about Dawson? AJ: I—I never left. Since I dropped you off, I’ve Joey: No. I was—I was actually gonna say felt. been sitting in the parking lot, thinking about how Pacey: Wanna know something, Miss Josephine when someone says something you don’t Potter? I think the world may just surprise you yet. understand, you’re suddenly faced with this rather I mean, you fall in love, it doesn’t work out and limited window of opportunity in which you can ask you think that it’ll never happen again. But it does. the person to explain what they mean t, or spend Believe me, it does. In the strangest of places. the rest of your life pretending you understood Joey: What makes you such an expert, Pacey? them. I just thought I’d reopen the window. Did I Pacey: (lightly) I’m an actor. You know, a poor do something wrong? player strutting and fretting and all of the rest of Joey: No, uh, AJ. I kinda panicked. And you know that Shakespearean stuff. And as such, it is my that thing called grace under pressure? Well, I job to understand the sophisticated inner workings don’t really have it, not even a smidge. of the human heart. AJ: Joey, it was jut a kiss. It wasn’t the running of Joey: (nods) I think I liked you better when you the bulls in Pamplona. were brooding and defeated. Joey: When you kissed me, I suddenly realized Pacey: Uh-huh. (He looks past her) that I was standing there with this person who, 118 you know, has skipped about a zillion grades and Andie: Yeah, I’m great. knows everything about everything. And I knew Jack: Sure you’re that great? (He points to Pacey, that the minute that you stopped kissing me, you who’s sitting outside) would realize that you had made a terrible mistake Andie: There’s one way to find out. (She gets her because— coat and goes out) AJ: Because why? [Outside] (Pacey sits on a bench. Andie Joey: Most things that you talk about, I don’t even approaches) know what they are. Things like literature and Andie: Hey. science and history just pour out of you like you’re Pacey: (surprised) Hey. this Good Will Hunting impersonator. Is there Andie: You weren’t exactly the life of the party anything that you’re not an authority on? tonight. AJ: Girls. Beautiful girls: their hopes, their Pacey: No. I- I guess I got a lot of stuff on my dreams, what makes them tick. I wish I knew a mind. little more about that. Andie: Yeah. It’s too bad your parents couldn’t Joey: Me too. come. AJ: You might know more about that than you Pacey: Well, as it turns out, there were a lot of think you do. people who couldn’t make it tonight. So, c’est la Joey: (looking up) So I guess we never got to see vie. the Northern Lights. Andie: Yeah, but I mean, too bad they couldn’t AJ: No. Next time. You know, I’ve seen them see you being the star and all. before. Pacey: I think you and I both know who the real Joey: Could you tell me about them? star of that production is. I mean, the actors, all we AJ: It’s like the sky you’ve know n your whole life, do is come on at the last moment and grab all the the one you’ve looked up at every night as a kid, glory. Whereas the people who work behind the only you look up at it and it’s like it’s on fire. You’re scenes, you guys are the ones that make flooded with all these brilliant colors. everything happen. I mean, nobody even knows Joey: Sounds kind of scary. all the work that you guys do. AJ: Yeah, it is. But beautiful. Andie: They know. So, uh, looks like you’re [After the After Party] (Andie and Jack clean up) gonna get that guaranteed C in English. Jack: Not too glamorous, huh? Stuck with clean Pacey: You’re disappointed, aren’t ya? About my up duty on your big night. pathetic return to the depths of academic Andie: I don’t mind. mediocrity. Jack: I’m sorry Dad couldn’t be here. Andie: I’m not disappointed. Girls have these Andie: Oh, don’t be sorry. That actually kinda idiotic, misguided notions about guys. I mean, we made it better. You know, all these people around think we can spruce them up and turn them into who don’t know me so well, who believe in the something they’re not. person I am today, that don’t really know Pacey: In your defense, I wasn’t exactly what everything that I used to be. It was great. The you’d call a luxury model. I did have fixer-upper whole night, I felt like— written all over me. Jack: The belle of the ball? Andie: Yeah, you pretty much were a price to sell Andie: No. More like me, like myself. weren’t ya? Jack: Now that is some of the best news I’ve Pacey: Yes I was. Damaged goods. heard in a long time. Andie: But, uh, thing is, Pacey, I was wrong. Andie: I had this, uh, this mantra in the hospital. There was never anything about you that needed You wanna hear it? fixing up. And there never was and there never Jack: Yeah. will be, cuz you’re perfect as is. Andie: Structure and purpose. I mean, I know it Pacey: You too, Andie. (They hug) was just a stupid little school play, but that’s what Andie: So, uh, what do you think my next project it was to me: structure and purpose. I think when should be? Definitely won’t be involving you. you have something like that in your life, you Pacey: No, no, my people will certainly not be know, to hold on to, that’s not another person, but calling your people. it’s more like a part of yourself, like a goal or a Andie: I was thinking maybe an all-girl cast. dream, the whole world falls apart around you, Pacey: Or perhaps puppets. Puppets are very you’ll be okay. good, they’re very direct, unlike myself. Jack: And you are okay? [Outside] (Henry and Jen walk together) 119 Henry: I can’t remember when I’ve felt this Joey: Dawson? depressed. Oh yeah, ten minutes ago. Dawson: Yeah, I’m sorry to show up like this. I Jen: You’ll get no sympathy from these quarters. know you just got back from your date. Henry: I know. For a second there I thought I saw Joey: If that’s what this is about— you smiling. Dawson: No. It’s not. It’s not, I swear. Jen: You are not like other boys, has anybody Joey: (She walks up cautiously) How did you told you that before? know about my date anyway? Henry: Yeah, you. Dawson: Pacey told me. And you don’t have to Jen: It’s just that you’ve got to stop it with these explain. If anybody has to explain, it’s me, grand gestures, these larger-than-life public showing up like this. declarations. I- You’re like the Christ o of teenage Joey: (Sits) So why did you show up like this? crushes. Dawson: (Sits) I needed to see you, you know? I Henry: Who’s Christo? just suddenly felt very lost. Jen: He’s kinda like a sculptor, he does these Joey: How did you think you were gonna feel really large—nevermind. It’s just that you don’t after you took down all your posters and suddenly have to try so hard. decided to drop film class? Henry: It’s just that I wanna know you, Jen Dawson: Well, I didn’t think. I just did. Lindley. I wanna be honest with you, totally and Joey: And now you’re thinking and you realize completely honest. you don’t know who you are anymore? Jen: Nobody can ever be completely honest, Dawson: Something like that, yeah. Henry. No one over the age of six, that is. Joey: I think you lost your True North, the fixed Henry: I can. point in the night sky that you guide yourself by. Jen: You know what, you can, can’t you? I don’t Dawson: What about you? What’s your True know what it is or how you manage to keep it for North. so long, but you’ve definitely got that thing that Joey: I don’t think I have one. children have. Dawson: (looks up) What is that? (Joey looks up Henry: You have it, too, you’ve just forgotten and sees bright lights in the sky) about it. Joey: The Aurora Borealis. Jen: No, Henry, I don’t think that I ever had it. Dawson: The Northern Lights? Aren’t we a little Henry: Then I can teach you. Just say whatever’s far south for that in Capeside? in your heart right now, right at this instant. Joey: Apparently not. It’s funny, I have been Jen: (She give him a peck on the lips) Is that waiting all night for this and it happens now. With honest enough? you. Henry: Almost. I’d say about 70 %. (He kisses Dawson: Is that a bad thing? her) Joey: No. It’s- it’s just typical. (There’s a long [Joey’s doorstep] (Joey walks to the door as AJ pause as they both look up at the sky) I thought drives away. Bessie is there waiting for her) that they’d be bluer than this. Bessie: Not so fast. A certain boy we both know (Ending credits) is waiting to see you. (Joey goes around to the side of the house where Dawson is waiting)

120 Valentine’s Day Massacre

(Joey and Dawson are in Bessie’s pick-up - Joey: Pacey, I know it’s a hard concept for you to Dawson is attempting to teach Joey how to drive - grasp, but some people are actually dedicated to the truck is moving very slowly down Joey’s the pursuit of academic excellence. driveway) Dawson: OK, so then why don’t you just come Dawson: …so you kind of want to ease into it, with us? It’ll be fun. alright? It’s very gentle - kind of give and take Joey: (thinks about it) Depends on what Goofus action, alright? (Dawson is moving his hands back and Gallan are up to this evening? and forth attempting to illustrate the clutch and Pacey: Well, as it happens, Matt Caulfield is accelerator) So… you might wanna do it right throwing a massive anti-Valentine’s Day party. about now. Joey: (has a sour look on her face) Why would (Joey attempts to change gear and stalls it) you want to go to a Matt Caulfield party? Dawson: Wait, wait! Ooh. (sighs heavily) OK, Dawson: After everything we’ve heard about it, remember when I said that thing about stepping why wouldn’t we? on the clutch before you actually try and shift - is Joey: Well that surprises me, Dawson. that coming back to you? Dawson: Why? (Joey gives him a sour look) Joey: Matt Caulfield? I mean, he’s not exactly of Dawson: Um, so you’re in neutral - now put your your tribe - he’s a creep and his parties are foot on the clutch and put it in first gear- infamous for complete and utter debauchery. I Joey: No, no. (turns engine off) That’s it, OK? I mean, it’s not really your scene- don’t want to learn how to drive any more—it’s too Pacey: Why are you coming down on the guy hard. from wanting to shed his skin and have some fun Pacey: Are we there yet? Look… (he sits up from for a change, you know? the bed of the truck) come on, kiddies - we’re Joey: And why are you dragging him into a barely half-way down the driveway. What on earth seedy, depraved world reserved for bottom- have you guys been doing up here? feeders like yourself? Dawson: See, this is a shining example of why Dawson: OK, this tug-of-war over my morality is friends should not teach friends to drive stick. entertaining and all, but we gotta get going, we’ll Joey: (defensively) You’re not exactly Lloyd be late for school. Dobler, Dawson. Joey: As much as the idea of the two of you make Dawson: What is that supposed to mean? fools of yourselves is appealing to me, I’m gonna Joey: “Say Anything”? - John Cusack teaches have to pass on the whole party thing… and make Ione Skye how to drive? it a Blockbuster night. Dawson: Yeah…? Pacey: (smugly and patronisingly) You know, that Joey: Except, if I remember correctly, he was sounds like a great idea, Jo. Who are you gonna quite the patient tutor. get to drive ya? Dawson: Well, as I remember, she actually (Joey gives Pacey the evil eye) listened to his tutorial. (Capeside High - Dawson and Pacey are walking, (Joey gives his an open-mouthed, shocked looking over at Matt Caulfield) expression) Pacey: Can you imagine the life that guy is Pacey: (patronisingly) OK kids, let’s try and find leading? the love up there, shall we? (he dismounts from Dawson: Urban legend has it he slept with six the back of the truck) You know, Dawson, what cheerleaders in one weekend. say you and I invite Miss Josephine Potter to step Pacey: I’m telling you man, we gotta go to that out on the town with us tonight? (they both look at party. Joey) Unless, of course you’ve prior Valentine’s Dawson: I don’t know man, maybe- maybe Joey’s Day plan with the College beau? right- Joey: No - massive mid-term crisis. Pacey: (frustrated) Ah, what is this - is this doubt Pacey: (acting disgusted) Excuse me? What kind that I’m hearing young Skywalker? of moron would rather shove his nose in a book Dawson: Well, I’m not exactly cut out for a career than take his girl out for Valentine’s Day? in hedonism.

121 Pacey: Dawson, pick up the phone already - this motive - and what is that satanic racket you’ve got is your call to action, OK? Your hero’s journey going in there? begins now, my friend. Doug: (laughs) Oh, listen to that voice, Pacey. Is Dawson: Pacey Witter - poor man’s Yoda. that not a cause for joy, and is that not the voice Pacey: You know, I’ve always seen myself more of a diva? as a Hans Solo type. Rogue-ish good looks, devil- Pacey: Douggie, if you continue in this manner, may-care attitude… you are going to force me to unleash a (souvel (Jack comes jogging over, out of breath) word??) of gay stereotype humour that will leave Jack: Guys, guys, wait up. you breathless and quivering, OK? Pacey: Hey, here comes my Chewbacca. Doug: Always a pleasure, Pacey, but I got Jack: (confused) What? somewhere to be. Pacey: It’s not important. Anyway, have any luck? Pacey: Well, look, maybe I could do a ride-along Jack: Yeah, I talked to some of the guys on the with you tonight? team, and it turns out that the- that the location is Doug: And why would you want to do that? completely confidential. I guess Caulfield and Pacey: Because, Doug, you’re my big brother - I some of his buddies were afraid of, you know, if look up to you. Call me crazy, but I think it would the cops get wind of it, they’ll bust it up. be fascinating to spend a night in the life of butch (Dawson and Pacey look disappointed) supercop, Douglas Witter. Jack: (smiles) But - I did get the password. Doug: Not tonight, OK. Pacey: Nice! Pacey: Why not? Dawson: What is it? Doug: Because you would be bored. Tonight I Jack: “I know kung-fu.” have to suffer through the ignoble task of staking (Henry is at a blood bank) out the golf course. Nurse: I told you yesterday, Henry, you can only Pacey: Golf course, huh? sell blood every 72 hours. Doug: Yeah. A concerned citizen called in a Henry: But I feel fine. heads-up about some big party at the golf course, Nurse: I know that huge heart of yours could so, you know? Hey, you haven’t heard anything probably fill half the blood banks in New England, about a party have you? but I’m sorry. Pacey: At the golf course? Henry: (pleading) Please? I- I’ve got a date with Doug: Yeah. an angel tonight. (she looks at him dubiously) And Pacey: Nah, nah. I did hear about this rager out everything is almost perfect—I’ve spent the last on Witch Island, but that’s not really important. two weeks working at her favourite restaurant to Thank you Douglas Witter. pay for the meal, I- I’ve got a reservation at the (Pacey walks away quite pleased with himself) best table. Now if I could sell just one more pint, (McPhee residence - Jack is approaching Andie’s I’ll- I’ll have enough for a gift. room and overhears her talking on the phone) Nurse: (shaking her head) I can’t bend the rules. Andie: … OK, so you take a left of Dearborn, and Henry: Nurse Nicole. Somewhere out there is a then we’re the third house on the left. So I’ll see guy, who thinks about you everyday, and dreams you around eight o’clock? (pauses as she listens) about you every night, a- a- a guy who would sell Kate, come on, you have to come. I mean, it’ll be his blood just to make you happy. so much fun. Besides, you have to get your mind Nurse: Well, he’s late. off things right? (Jack enters her room) OK, great, Henry: Maybe he’s stuck. Maybe someone I’ll see you then. won’t… bend the rules for him. Jack: Kate? Kate who? Nurse: (thinks for a minute then sighs) Roll up Andie: Kate Douglas. She’s coming up from your sleeve. (Henry smiles and jumps on the Rhode Island for the weekend to crash with us. hospital bed) And promise me you’ll get some rest Jack: Kate Douglas - as in my ex-girlfriend? before your big date. Andie: And as in a very good friend of mine. (Pacey walks through a park to Doug who is Jack: I can’t believe you would actually ask her sitting in his patrol car listening to some crappy up here without asking me first! music) Andie: Jack, it’s Valentine’s Day, and she just Pacey: Hey Douggie! broke up with her boyfriend, and she needs a Doug: So what do I owe this dubious honour? change of scenery. So, I… Pacey: Can’t a fella just wanna hang out with his Jack: (sighs) Did she mention me? own brother? Do I always have to have an ulterior Andie: Well, yeah. I mean, it’s only natural. 122 Jack: What did you tell her? Grams: Have fun on your date, dear. Andie: That you’re great. (Jen nods - Grams leaves and Jen lets out a Jack: And? heavy sigh, full of nervous tension) Andie: And? (Andie’s car moving down a street - Kate sits in Jack: And? the front with Andie, and Jack is in the back) Andie: And no, OK, I didn’t tell her that - that is so Andie: OK, so the plan is, is we’re gonna meet your gig. out friend at the club, and we’re gonna try and find Jack: I can’t believe you! this senior’s party, OK? Andie: Jack, look, it’s not that big a deal, OK? Kate: (looks around at Jack) Jackers, you’ve been She gets here, you ask her if she wants a glass of pretty darn quiet for someone I haven’t seen in a water, and then… you- you know, you kind of year. mention that you like boys. Jack: It’s just weird to see you, that’s all. (Grams’ house - Jen is in her bedroom holding Kate: Have you missed me? two dresses in the mirror - she look nervous) Jack: Yeah, of course. Jen: What do you think - red or black? Kate: I’m a pretty missable kind of gal, don’t you Grams: It’s Valentine’s Day - red, of course. think? Jen: Yeah. Yeah, I thought so too. Alright. (she Jack: Extremely missable. goes off to change) Kate: So, who’s that special someone in your life Grams: You know, it’s perfectly natural to be these days? nervous. Valentine’s is a very exciting day- Jack: Um… it’s… funny you should ask that. Um, Jen: (poking her head out of the door) Oh, I am (Kate begins to cry) ‘cause I think there’s not nervous, alright? It’s just another day, just something that you should know. another dinner. Andie: (concerned) Kate!? What’s wrong? Grams: It’s not just another day. It’s the day St Kate: My boyfriend, the one who broke up with Valentine gave his life to the Romans rather than me—it started just like that. I asked him what was stop marrying young Christian lovers. (shivers) wrong and he said, “Funny you should ask.” And Ooh, you can feel his spirit all around us. then he told me that he was gay. Jen: Oh, it’s called a draft. And it usually wafts (Andie and Jack looked shocked and Jack looks through old doors around the middle of February. at Andie in the mirror - she gives him a ‘you can’t Grams: Oh, Jennifer, you are far too young to be tell her now’ look and he throws his head back, this jaded. not believing his luck) (Jen emerges wearing the black dress) (Pacey and Dawson are standing on a green at Jen: Who’s jaded? I think it’s great that we have a the golf club - Pacey is lining up for an imaginary day which commercialises on our emotions. putt) Grams: Not even the harsh jangle of the cash Pacey: Here we are, eighteen green, Augusta. If register can keep love at bay. Pacey Witter can sink this putt, he will become the (Jen is inspecting herself in the mirror, still looking youngest ever Master’s champion. You can see nervous) the tension etched all over the face of his Jen: Something’s missing. girlfriend, acting sensation… Miss Heather Grams: You look beautiful, just beautiful. Graham. (Jen rummages around in a draw looking for some (Dawson chuckles - Pacey goes for his imaginary jewellery) putt) Jen: No, something is definitely missing. Andie: Hey guys. (Jack and Kate are with her) Grams: Now, an unadorned neck is proper for the Pacey: Ugh! McPhee! You just made my drop my first date - chaste, pure. putter. Jen: (smiles) And that’s so me. Andie: (sarcastic) Woo-hoo, tragic. Grams: You know, I’ve often found that the best Pacey: (mimics in a high-pitched voice) Woo-hoo. thing for nerves is- is to simply breathe, deeply. Andie: Dawson, Pacey, I’d like you to meet my (begins breathing deeply) In… (exhales) out… friend, Kate Douglas. Jen: (unconvincingly) OK, for the last time - I’m Dawson: Nice to meet you, Kate Douglas. not nervous. I have absolutely nothing to be Kate: Any friends of Jackers, are instant friends of nervous about. I… I have been on plenty of dates, mine. with plenty of guys, on plenty of days, and this is Pacey: ‘Jackers’? (to Dawson) I believe she just just another one, so please don’t make such a big said ‘Jackers’? deal out of it because it’s not a big deal at, OK? 123 Jack: Well, Kate and I go way back. (clears his (Grams’ house - we see a hand knock on the front throat) Way back. door - Jen answers smiling) Kate: Jack was my first boyfriend. Jen: Hi. (she closes the door behind her) Henry, (Pacey and Dawson look on, surprised) do you feel OK? You look… kind of peaked? Pacey: (trying not to laugh) Oooh, waayy back. Henry: I- I’ve been dreaming about this for so Kate: I’d, uh- I’d just like to put it out there that I’ve long, I’m afraid if I speak I’ll wake. recently broken up with my gay boyfriend, and I Jen: (smiles some more) You are awake. find myself in a highly charged emotional state. Henry: You look gorgeous. OK? Thanks for your time. Jen: So are you. (Pacey and Dawson look on, not knowing what to (they start to walk along the verandah towards the say) driveway) Pacey: Could we have a moment, please? Thank Henry: We’re wearing the same colour. you. (he puts his arm around Dawson’s shoulders Jen: Black. and leads him away from Andie and Co) Did you (they reach the screen door, which Henry opens hear what she just said? for Jen) Dawson: I know, I feel bad for her. I- Jack - that’s Jen: You know, my- my grams would probably not one, but two gay boyfriends. say that- that was a sign of the spirit of St Pacey: OK, I wasn’t really talking about so much Valentine. what she said - more like what she’s saying. Henry: Of course it is. I believe that. (they pause Dawson: And the subtext is? on the stairs) Uh, this is for you. (he holds out a Pacey: That she needs to overcome the memory single red rose) of her lost love. If only for a brief time. She’s Jen: Henry, thank you. It’s perfect. looking to hook up, man. This night just turned Henry: This whole night is gonna be perfect. into a teenage fairytale, and you my friend, are the Jen: Ouch! (she pricked her finger) big bright shining star. Henry: Oh, I’m sorry. Dawson: I wasn’t quite looking at it from that Jen: It’s OK. angle. Henry: No, it’s not OK - you’re bleeding. Pacey: Well that’s why I’m here, little buddy, isn’t Jen: No, no, it’s fine. Really. It’s just a flesh it? Huh? wound. Jack: Hey, look who’s here. (she smiles and they continue walking) Andie: Joey! Hey. (Golf course - the group are riding golf carts Pacey: Huh? around the course - they are paired off - Joey and Joey: Hey. Pacey, Andie and Jack, Dawson and Kate) Jack: Hi Joey. Joey: Well that was as subtle as an Oliver Stone Joey: Hi guys. film. (Pacey and Dawson walk back to the group) Pacey: What was? Pacey: Well, that’s odd. I mean, this couldn’t Joey: Shoving Dawson on that girl. possibly be Miss Josephine “Buzz Killer” in front of Pacey: What, are you jealous? me, because I was pretty sure she was boycotting Joey: No! I’m worried about him, Pacey. tonight. Pacey: (shrugs his shoulders) Why? Joey: Well, I came to make sure that I don’t lose Joey: Because he’s lost. I mean, can’t you see Dawson to the Dark Side. that? Dawson: Joey. (she turns towards him) I Pacey: I whole-heartedly concur with you - appreciate your concern, but I’m really quite Dawson is lost right now. That is why he needs to capable of taking care of myself. acquire as much life experience as possible. Joey: Some day you’ll thank me, Dawson. And if Joey: Pacey, why does ‘life experience’ have to Pacey insists on being the devil on your shoulder, translate into these wild parties and random hook- then the least I can do is be the angel on the ups? other. Pacey: What would you have the man do, join a Pacey: (sarcastically) Fine then. Come with me book-of-the-month club? sweet little angel, be my guest. But you are not, (cut to Jack and Andie) and I repeat (he starts walking way), not going to Jack: I’m screwed. ruin this night for us. Andie: You have to tell her. (the group follow Pacey) Jack: I can’t tell her now. I don’t want to give her a complex. 124 Andie: Well you can’t keep avoiding her all night, (he holds the tray out for Pacey and Kate) either. Matt: Go on. Jack: Well if I tell her, I’m just gonna end up Pacey: (downing the contents of the cup) Well hurting her all over again. thank you Mr Cosby. Andie: (scoffs) Oh, OK, get over yourself, Jack. Kate: OK. (she takes one and swallows it) Jack: What? Yummy. (cut to Dawson and Kate) Jack: OK for the soul. (he drinks) Kate: Is there something hideously wrong with Matt: (offering the tray to Andie and Joey) Betty, me? Veronica? Dawson: Not that I can tell. Andie: Actually, I’m the designated driver tonight. Kate: Dave, the guy I just broke up with? The guy Matt: Alright, what about you, doll? who turned out to be oh-so-very-much a Joey: An attractive offer. Although I sure you’re homosexual… he used to tell me I was an dying for the chance to hold back my hair when I acquired taste. Is that just a nice way of saying I’m inevitably vomit up that nasty keg beer, I’m gonna just a filthy eyesore? I’m not a filthy eye-sore am have take a raincheck. I? (Matt shrugs and walks over to Dawson who takes Dawson: No, you’re beautiful - in the way that one the cups) beautiful used to actually mean something. Joey: (incredulously) You’re actually considering Kate: What was your name again. participating in this nonsense? (Dawson just smiles and keeps driving) Pacey: Why can’t you just let the man make his (cut to the three carts pulling up - the party is just own decisions? ahead - the group starts walking towards the Joey: Dawson, this isn’t you. party) Pacey: (sighs in frustration) You know what? Your Joey: You know, this (word??) is still playing at concern for Dawson is starting to border on the Realto. We can still catch it- pathological, Potter. Pacey: Easy, Potter. Dawson: Hey guys, we’re not at the gates of hell, Jack: How do you think these guys are going to and you are not arguing over my soul. respond when they find out we’re crashing their (Dawson holds the cup up and drinks - Joey looks party without an invite? disappointed and walks away - Andie follows) Andie: Uuh… a good question, and one we Pacey: All right. probably should have considered before we go (he starts heading off to the party) here. So who wants to go get ice-cream? (Jen and Henry at the restaurant) Pacey: We made it this far, party people, we Jen: Thank you, Henry. might as well. Henry: You’re just saying that. (Matt Caulfield approaches the gang) Jen: All right, well, maybe- maybe I had my Matt: This is my party. And I don’t recall inviting doubts at first, but, um, everything’s turned out any of you. really really nicely. Andie: (cheerfully) Well, you didn’t. Our mistake, (Henry looks like his about to faint but Jen isn’t so we’ll be going now. looking) (she starts to leave but Jack grabs her arm) Jen: We’ve got a fun place to eat, and what’s Matt: Do you know the password? more important is that we can spend some time (the gang just look at one another) doing what I was hoping we could do on Dawson: I know kung-fu. Valentine’s Day, which is- is just, get to each Matt: OK then. other, you know what I mean? Pacey: Well, OK. (nodding his head) OK. (she finally realises Henry isn’t paying attention) (he starts to walk forward but is stopped by Matt) Jen: Henry? Um, Henry? Matt: Not so fast, kids. You do know about the Henry: (finally snapping out of it) Huh? entrance fee, don’t you? Jen: Am I boring you? Pacey: Oh, uh, of course, it’s, uh, what, five bucks Henry: No, no. I was- I was just… resting my to cover this, right? eyes. (Matt walks over to a table and lifts up a tray Jen: Oh. Well, feel free to put your head down containing small plastic cups full of some alcoholic and take a nap if you like. concoction) Henry: (closing his eyes) Oh, OK. Matt: If you’d like to join us, I need each of you to (Henry falls off his chair and crashes to the down one of these bad boys. ground) 125 Jen: Henry! Jen: What were you thinking? (there is commotion as people wonder what Henry: I wanted to make sure I- I did everything happen) possible to make tonight unforgettable. (Golf course - Andie and Joey ride in a golf cart) Jen: Yeah, well, you did. Joey: (annoyed) How does he do it? Henry: (he reaches into his pocket) And I wanted Andie: Who, Dawson? to buy you this. Joey: No, Pacey. I mean, how does he always (Henry hands her a small box felt-covered box) manage to get us into these situations? Jen: (protesting) Henry. (she opens it) It’s a ring. Andie: (smiles) It’s his cocky charm. And- and it- and it’s orange. Joey: Cocky, yes. But I don’t think the village idiot Henry: It’s Hungarian red. Try it on. routine equals charm. (she does but it’s too small) Andie: Nah, he means well. Henry: (disappointed and upset) No! Joey: Why is he so irritating? Jen: Henry, Henry please don’t worry about this- Andie: Well if you think about it—I mean, he is Henry: I ruined it. I’ve ruined everything. just this big, dopey dog. Jen: No, no, it’s- Henry, it’s fine. Please, don’t Joey: You’re right. It’s like he runs through the worry about it. house destroying everything in it’s path, and then (the paramedics are about to load Henry into the he looks up at you like, “What do you expect, I’m ambulance) just a dog?” Henry: I wanted everything to be so perfect. Andie: (laughs) You know who you sound like? Jen: It is, it is. This is- this is perfect, it- it- it’s Joey: Who? perfect. Andie: Me. Right before I started dating him. (they load him up and shut the doors and drive (Joey gives her an ‘as if’ look but then the lights of away - Jen just shakes her head and walks away) a cop car flash) (Golf course party - Dawson and Kate are on their Doug: (on the loudspeaker) You in the golf cart, walk) pull over. Kate: I know what you’re doing. (Joey brings the golf cart to a stop and Doug gets Dawson: Really? And, uh, what’s that? out and walks over, realising that it’s Joey and Kate: You’re the resident caretaker. Andie) Dawson: (laughs) The what? Doug: Good evening, ladies. Kate: The gang’s ‘nice guy’. Pretty friendly. The (Golf course party - a bonfire is ablaze and the one who volunteers to take highly emotional and party rages on - Dawson comes across Kate progressively wasted types off of everybody’s pouring a drink) hand, so the other boys can go and have fun. Dawson: Hey, Kate. (Dawson looks surprised) Kate: Hey, Dawson. Kate: Don’t worry about little ol’ me, Dawson. I will Dawson: I was wondering- present you with no burden whatsoever. (pauses) Kate: You were wondering? This place is hilly. (she walks away a bit) Dawson: (laughs) Are you going to repeat Dawson: Wait a minute. Why would you assume everything I say? that? Kate: Are you going to repeat everything I say? Kate: Assume what? (smiles) Isn’t that annoying? I’m sorry. You were Dawson: That I’m a nice guy. Maybe I could be… wondering…? trying to advantage of your situation. Dawson: Ah, I was wondering if you wanted to (Kate begins to laugh) take a walk? Dawson: And you find that humorous? Kate: With you? Kate: I may be drunk, and I may hardly know Dawson: With me, yeah. you… but that’s not you. Kate: (she thinks about it) A walks sounds good - Dawson: It isn’t? let’s go. Kate: No, it isn’t. I mean, first of all, who in a Dawson: OK. million years that was trying to take advantage of (Outside the restaurant - Henry is wheeled to an my situation use the expression “I’m trying to take ambulance) advantage of your situation.”? Paramedic: He’ll be at St Matthew’s later. He’ll be (Dawson sighs, thinking he’s blown it) fine. Dawson: (speaking to the heavens - he’s Jen: Henry, I cannot believe you sold your blood. obviously half-drunk as well) Would it really be too Henry: Twice in a forty-eight hour period. much to ask the universe that- that once, just 126 once- just one single solitary time, you conspire Jen: Sweet, yes. Adorable, sure. Grammer with my desire to have a good time? school, definitely. Kate: Quit whining. There are people dying in the Grams: Henry never claimed to be the Balkins. sophisticated sort. Dawson: You be quiet, OK? This is between me Jen: Which is exactly my point. I mean, why go for and the fates. all this trouble, why- why plan a dinner, why buy Kate: Call me loco, but maybe if you just acted me jewellery if that’s not why you are? instead of hymning and hawing, and debating and Grams: Maybe he thinks that’s who you want him conversing, then maybe you’d actually see some to be. results. (Back at the party - Doug pulls up in his cop car) Dawson: What is that supposed to mean? Doug: (over the loudspeaker) This is the Kate: Simply put - if you don’t want to be a nice Capeside police. guy, Dawson - when you take a girl into the (everyone starts to scatter, leaving Pacey hanging woods, don’t talk to her about kissing her… kiss from a tree with a funnel and hose) her. Especially after you told her that she was Pacey: Hey, guys. Yo, guys. What, did I do it beautiful in the way the beautiful used to actually wrong? Hello? mean something. (he looks up to find Doug starting down at him) Dawson: (smiles) It’s that simple? (Capeside police station - the gang are all in the Kate: (nods her head) It’s that simple. same jail cell - Jack and Andie sit together, as do (they go to kiss but Kate screws up her face at the Dawson and Joey - Pacey sits alone in a corner last second) and Kate is standing) Kate: Hold that impulse. Kate: Do you guys party like this every weekend? (Kate then up-ends the contents of her stomach) Because, I gotta say, this has been the most fun Dawson: (shaking his head) Perfect. (looks up at I’ve had in a really long time. I mean, I am just so the sky) Just perfect. over my ex-boyfriend right now. (a light shines in his eyes and he looks to find (she goes and sits next to Jack) Doug, smiling) Jack: I am really glad to hear you say that, Kate. (Gram’s house -Jen gets home and Grams is at ‘Cause I think there’s something that you really the kitchen table) need to know. Grams: You’re home early. (Andie, slaps him on the shoulder and whispers) (she goes over and places her handbag on the Andie: You are not going to tell her in an table) enclosed space! Jen: Unfortunately, not early enough. The Kate: I heard that! Tell me what in an enclosed haggard girl that you’re looking at now is straight space? from the date from hell. Jack: Hey, look, I know this isn’t the optimum time Grams: Something for you and Henry to laugh to do this, alright, but I… (turns and faces Kate) about on your second date. Alright, look- Jen: Sadly enough, I don’t think there’s going to Kate: Ooh, I know what this is - you’re not over be a second date, Grams. me, are you Jack? Grams: Because of one sour evening? Jack: No, no, no, that- that’s not it. Not to suggest Jen: This was our first real date, and to call it sour that you’re easily get-overable or anything, but… would be a kind review. the thing is- Grams: (placing her reading glasses on the table) Kate: Oh, my God. You’re gay, aren’t you? Jennifer, you have got to get over your (Jack’s expression gives it away) preconceptions about what a date is supposed to Kate: (laughs) But we had… be. A date is- even if it is a bad one, it’s just Jack: Yeah, yeah we did. another moment - it’s just another- another pearl Kate: And you were good. in a great wondrous necklace. Jack: Thanks. But that doesn’t have any bearing Jen: OK, before you (act/ax???) geriatric, let me on our current situation. I’m still gay. just cut to the chase. (she sits down at the table) Kate: (to Dawson) Are you gay too? Henry is right now at the hospital because he Dawson: (surprised) Me? No. oversold his blood in order to buy me a Hungarian Kate: Are you sure? Because apparently only gay red ring, which by the way, is too small. guys will kiss me. (Grams gives her a ‘how sweet’ look) Joey: (shocked) You kissed her?

127 (Dawson just sighs and rests his head on the that sometime soon you could make up your bars) mind? Please? And the reverence that you two Kate: He started to, but my less-than-iron treat this little saga of yours with, is enough to stomach napalmed the moment. make a guy wanna puke. Joey: Dawson, what were you thinking? (Pacey then goes over to the sink and throws up) Dawson: I wasn’t. (laughs) For a fleeting moment (Capeside police station - Doug approaches the I wasn’t actually thinking, and it felt good. cells followed by Mitch looking totally pissed off) Joey: To take advantage of girl who was drunk, Doug: All right, everyone out. vulnerable, and clearly on the rebound? I mean, is (the gang quickly exit - Andie, Kate, Joey, Dawson it just me Dawson, or is this jaw-droppingly out of ,who gets the evil eye from Mitch, and Jack) character? Doug: (closing the cell door) Everyone that is, Dawson: (angrily) What character, Joey? The except you little brother. Dad thinks it might be a little sketch in your head that you have labelled good idea if you spend the night. ‘Dawson’? Look, this might not be the me that (Pacey looks dejected and goes back to the bed) you’re used to, and I might make a complete fool (Capeside hospital - Jen enters a room where out of myself, but you have to start letting make Henry is on a bed eating jello) mistakes. Jen: Hiya. Pacey: (in an announcer’s voice) Here we go Henry: (holds the jello out) Jello? again, kiddies. For the 476th time this hour, our Jen: (laughs and sits down) What is it about number one Billboard chart topper - The Ballad of hospitals always serving jello? Do they think it has Dawson and Joey. Will those two crazy kids ever some miraculous healing power? get back together again? Boy, I sure hope so. Henry: I’m sorry I can’t offer you more. Joey: Pacey, would you stay out of it? Jen: No, I’m sorry. Henry, I think that I may have Pacey: Oh, of course, far be it for me, lowly been, um, just a bit more anxious than I let on creature that I am, to ever tread on the sanctity of about this whole thing. the Dawson and Joey dynamic. Sorry, it’s just that Henry: (surprised) You? Anxious - really? I find the way that you treat him so fascinating, Jen: Yeah. Um… y- you see, at the Chaplain Potter. School, um Valentine’s was the day when the guy Joey: (sarcastically) And how is that, Dr Witter? that I was dating would take out the girl that he Pacey: Like he’s some weird, neutered, little really liked. Give her presents, and chocolates- virginal creature. Henry: I don’t believe that for a minute. Dawson: What’s your problem? Jen: Yeah, well it’s true, alright? I’ve never had a Pacey: (scoffs) I don’t have a problem. I am but a date on Valentine’s Day. Let alone a first date, so, (great course??), here to observe and interpret. I think that my- my need to fulfil that experience is Joey: (standing) Pacey, when did you adopt this what got the best of both of us. mean streak? Henry: That’s one way to put it. Pacey: Come on, Joey, you and I have always (they laugh) been known for the snap, crackle and pop or our Jen: If we’re going to continue dating, and… and repartee. I’d like that, um, what do you say that we start Joey: Right, the good-natured banter. But to the acting more like ourselves and less like a couple best of my recollection, I don’t remember it being in our thirties? pointed, and it’s never been hurtful. Henry: Does this mean you want me to return the Pacey: Or even being taken so seriously. ring? Joey: But how could I not take it seriously, Pacey. Jen: (smiles) Not on your life! This is the best- I mean, you’ve said one harsh, nasty thing after looking Hungarian red-pink ring I’ve gotten. And another to me tonight. What did I do to really besides, it reminds me of you, which makes it deserve all that? pretty invaluable. (they stare affectionately at one Pacey: You didn’t do anything to deserve this. another) Mind if I do? (she motions to the jello and The drunken lout in the corner just pleads sheer picks it up) frustration. I mean, honestly, do you have any Henry: Do you realise what we’re doing? We’re idea how exhausting it is to exist on your having a date. No floods, no earthquakes, no- periphery? To witness this perpetual dance that Jen: Shh-shh-shh. Let’s not think about what you two have - one week you’re soulmates, the could go wrong, let’s just… eat the jello. next week you’re giving each other up for the Henry: (spooning another mouthful) There’s greater good. I mean, do you think it’s possible always room for jello. 128 (McPhee residence - Jack is helping Kate pack) Dawson: Dad… what I’m trying to do is get back Jack: So are you OK? to the basics of being a kid. I mean, I- I’m sixteen, Kate: Yeah. You know, I’m starting to realise that and it was a party, and those two things are there’s something kind of cool about a relationship inextricably linked. not working because the guy turns out to be gay. Mitch: I have no problem with you going to (Jack looks at her quizzically) parties. I have zero problem with you being Kate: I mean, sure, it’s heartbreaking in it’s own sixteen. I do, I admit, have a problem with, oh, way, but it’s not my fault. There’s nothing I can do wrecked boats, strippers on the kitchen table, and about it. fishing you out of the drunk tank on a Friday night. Jack: Of course it’s not your fault. Dawson: Fair enough. But can you, uh, chalk it up Kate: It’s not your fault either. to youthful exuberance? Jack: (sighs) I know. Mitch: Yes I can. Kate: Do you? Well then why were you so afraid Dawson: Dad, thank you. I really appreciate it- to tell me? Mitch: I’m not finished. Since you’ve suddenly Jack: I didn’t want to upset you. decided to start acting like a kid, I guess I’m left Kate: (shaking her head) Mmm-mm. No, not with no choice but to start acting (pauses) like a buying it. You’re going to have to do better than parent. And until you decide on a path for that, Jackers. yourself, I’ve chosen one for you. Jack: (chuckles) OK. Um, when you and I were Dawson: What does that mean? seeing each other, I always thought there was Mitch: Your mother’s planning on buying a something a little… off. I mean, I’ve come a long restaurant. way, but when I saw you it brought me back to a Dawson: (surprised) Really? time that I thought that the feelings I was having Mitch: And you’re gonna work there, doing were- were wrong. And I guess I thought that if I whatever she needs you to do - after school, told you, I’d be somehow disappointing you. evenings, weekends, whatever. And you’re going Kate: In a million years, you could never to do this until you begin to understand that disappoint me, Jack. (sitting next to him on the suddenly deciding to be a kid doesn’t give you bed) Gay or straight, you’re a world-class human licence to be reckless, and irresponsible. Good being. That’s why I wanted to see you - you take night, son. me back to this nice, safe place, where crushes (Dawson is left to ponder the consequences of his never end and hearts can’t be broken. And I actions) needed that this weekend. (Capeside police station - Doug enters Pacey’s Jack: Good. Well, I hope you found that cell with some coffee) somehow. Doug: (clears his throat) You were in rare form Kate: I did. I’m glad I get to go home knowing the tonight. real you. Pacey: How bad do I suck, huh? Jack: Come here. Doug: So what seems to be the problem? (he hugs her head to his chest and kisses the top Pacey: There’s no problem, Douggie. of her head) Doug: Oh, come on, Pacey, I found you hanging (Dawson’s place - in the kitchen - Mitch goes to from a tree getting completely wasted. Huh? So the fridge and gets some ice-cream, then goes what is it, a girl or something? and gets a spoon - Dawson watches on) Pacey: (defensively) What? Dawson: I thought the silent treatment was a Doug: OK, so it’s a girl. Who is she? tactic typically employed by kids. Pacey: You know what, Douggie, it’s really not Mitch: I’m not giving you the silent treatment. (he that important, OK? sits on the counter and starts eating the ice- Doug: OK. cream) (he starts to walk out of the cell) Dawson: (laughs) You’re not talking to me, either. Pacey: I’ll tell you something though, she is really, Mitch: I was thinking. really annoying. Dawson: (taking his coat off) About what? (Doug pauses) Mitch: My son. It’s been quite a year for you. Doug: Yeah? Dawson: (taking his scarf off) What do you Pacey: Yeah. I mean, this girl is amazing - there mean? is not a single subject on the face of this planet Mitch: Well, it all started out with a wrecked boat that she doesn’t have an opinion on. It’s mind and a wild party. And I was angry- boggling. 129 Doug: (walking back towards Pacey) Well, that Pacey: Look, what I said last night was way out of certainly sounds like a nightmare. line. And yes, I was drunk, but more to the point, I Pacey: Wh- no, I mean, no, it’s not quite like that, was just plain wrong. And I want you to know that I mean, you gotta understand that the girl’s really I’m really sorry. smart so she’s usually right, and when she Joey: Well, I was worried about you too, Pacey. argues, it comes from this really beautiful, pure Pacey: (surprised) Me? Why? place, so I mean, how can you fight against that, Joey: (shrugs) I don’t know. (she closes the door you know? Especially if you’re a smart ass like behind her) Because, I mean, Satan himself could me. lead Dawson into the fiery pits of hell but he would Doug: (smiles) Is she pretty? still emerge with his moral code intact. But you… Pacey: Yeah, she is pretty. She is very, very (pauses) Maybe I think that nobody’s worrying pretty. She’s actually that kind of pretty that gives about you right now. you butterflies - know what I mean? Pacey: So then, (clears his throat) what you’re Doug: Ah, yeah. Never lose the butterflies. really saying then, is that given the highly Pacey: What? dysfunctional nature of our relationship, this is Doug: You asked me what sucks most about how you actually express concern for me? getting older. Somewhere along the line, you just Joey: (nods, smiling) You gotta learn to read lose the butterflies. So the question is, little between the banter, Pacey. brother, what are you gonna do about it? Pacey: Right. Pacey: Do? (there’s a long awkward pause) Doug: Yeah, do, as in do something. Take action. Joey: So. So are we all finished here? Pacey: You know, I don’t think you’re really Pacey: No, actually. Um, there’s something else. properly grasping the gravity of this situation, Joey: Something else? Douggie. You see, if I was actually to do Pacey: Yeah. (pauses) It’s just something that I’ve something about this, there is the strong been meaning to tell you. possibility that the sun would cease to shine, that (she looks at him as if to say, ‘yeah, what is it?’) the tides would cease to rise. In fact, I’m betting Pacey: Uh, look, uh… Joey? there’s a pretty good chance that the very earth (he looks at her for a moment, on the brink of would crack open and Capeside would become telling her how he feels) home to a huge hell-mouth that would spew forth Pacey: You’re lingering on your clutch, OK? I endless hordes of monsters and demons, that know you think you’re just easing into the gear, would choke the denizens of this city, making but it’s not a good idea. You know, maybe not them fall to their knees, and pray for a return to today, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon you’re the days before I took action. That’s what we’re gonna do a lot of damage to your transmission. really talking about here. So, what I was thinking is that if you wanted to, I Doug: Hmm. Yeah, maybe. (he walks to the cell could show you door) Look, Pacey, uh, in my experience, you Joey: (smiles) Now? don’t come across that many people with the Pacey: (smiles back) Yeah. Yeah. ability to give you butterflies. You just don’t. And if Joey: OK, Pacey. you don’t tell this girl how you feel, well it’ll be like Pacey: OK. spending the rest of your life in your own personal (cut to the Potter pick-up being driven slowly down prison. (he goes to leave) the driveway by Joey) Pacey: Hey Doug? Joey: Now? Doug: Yeah. Pacey: No, no. Pacey: Thank you. Joey: Now? (Doug smiles, nods and then leaves) Pacey: Now! Shift. (Morning - Pacey walks slowly towards Joey’s (she manages to change the gear without stalling) front door - walks up the stairs and pauses before Pacey: Huh? Huh? knocking - Joey answers wearing a dressing gown Joey: I did it! - she goes to shut the door) Pacey: Yes you did! (laughs) Congratulations, Pacey: (putting his hand on the door) Hold on. Potter, you are finally getting somewhere. Please. (Ending credits) (Joey relents and looks at Pacey expectantly)

130 Crime and Punishment

(Capeside High - Joey is painting a mural on a Pacey: I didn’t say I don’t like it. I’m... pretty sure corridor - she wears a bandanna and headphones the rest of the murals will probably be a little more listening to music - she doesn’t hear Pacey as he traditional... approaches and stands with hands in pockets, Joey: (sarcastically) What, like football players appraising her work - she turns to find Pacey and lighthouses? What do they actually say about watching) the highschool experience? Joey: (taking off earphones) I don’t recall Pacey: Jo, this is the US of A—we’re a very requesting the pleasure of your company, Pacey. prosaic nation, and when we have art in public Pacey: (points towards some materials on a places, we want it to be about as subtle as trolley) Rag? Godzilla. Joey: Brush. Joey: Yeah, but Pacey, don’t you think that art Pacey: (swaggers slowly over to Joey with can have this power? I-I mean, it can bring people several small paint brushes) You know, after Van together. Gough chopped off his own ear, there was a rash Pacey: Oh, yeah, absolutely... in museums - the of copycat mutilations amongst the students. thinking man’s pick up joint. Joey: (taking a brush) Your point being? (she Joey: (laughs a little) That’s what I like about you, goes back to painting) Pacey. You just go so deep. Pacey: My point being that the whole world Pacey: Thanks. reveres the artists - envies their talent, wants to be (Capeside High - Dawson walks along the hallway just like them. So that’s what I’m doing here - I’m and comes up to Joey’s hidden mural - he goes to hoping some of your genius will rub off on me. take a peek behind the covering) Joey: (matter-of-factly) You got kicked out of your Joey: (putting her hand over the mural cover) No house again. peeking! Pacey: No... not exactly kicked out. It’s more like Dawson: What, I don’t get a preview? they’re filming a life-time original movie in my Joey: No. living room right now. Dawson: Why not? Pacey did. Joey: (turning and facing Pacey) And, uh, which Joey: Dawson, the unveiling is a crucial part to one of the Witter sisters is in complete distress any new work. I want you to have the complete right now? experience. (frowning) He didn’t tell you what it is, Pacey: That would be numero uno - left sergeant did he? major for conduct unbecoming, fled back to the Dawson: No. But he- but he said it was great. home front, and of course brought along my Joey: (laughs) That means a lot coming from the screaming nieces. world’s most discriminating art critic. Joey: (moving trolley of materials) So I finally get Dawson: Well, he- he knows what he likes. my own room and you have been exiled to Silver Joey: Dawson, Pacey’s prized possession is a City. Ouch. black velvet painting of the baby Elvis. Pacey: My sentiments exactly. (Dawson goes to peek behind the mural cover Joey: (stands back next to Pacey) So, uh, so and Joey puts her hand over his preventing him) what do you think? Dawson: (makes a disappointed sigh) So how’s (we see the mural is a bunch of Chinese writing) your speech coming? Pacey: (looks at it for a moment) Is it done? Joey: I don’t know why I even have to say Joey: (impatiently) Yes, it’s done. anything. I mean, isn’t an artist just supposed to Pacey: I thought Principal Greene had let her work speak for itself? commissioned you guys to do murals exemplifying Dawson: Yeah, but when PTA’s and School school spirit and unity? Board’s let you paint something in the hallway of a Joey: He did. public school they expect a little public ceremony Pacey: Well, no offence, but this looks like in return. something you’d find tattooed on Quai Cheng Joey: (hesitantly) So are you going to be there? King’s forehead. Dawson: Of course! I mean, if you want me to? Joey: (sighs) You don’t like it. Joey: (smiles, relieved) Yeah, I want you to. Dawson: OK.

131 Joey: And whatever you think, be honest with me. Principal Greene: Let this be the last time we see You know, even if you hate it- you before this committee. Dawson: Even if I hate... what makes you think (Caulfield merely smirks and leaves, followed my I’m gonna hate it? his minions) Joey: (pauses) Nothing. It’s just... (cut to Disciplinary Committee having broken up Dawson: Stepping out from behind the curtain? and Andie is about to leave) (Joey nods) Principal Greene: Uh, Andie, would you wait for Dawson: I can understand that, that can be me for a minute please? terrifying. Up there with the lights, in front of all Andie: Sure. those people... being judged. (a moment later Principal Greene comes up to Joey: It’s even more than that, I mean, I fell like Andie) I’m declaring myself for the first time. What I really Andie: Um, Principal Greene, I’m really sorry think about this place. With everyone staring at it, about earlier. I overreacted to the whole- it’ll be like they’re all looking right into my soul. Principal Greene: No, that’s not what this is (Dawson just smiles compassionately) about. Andie, I have news. (Capeside High - the disciplinary committee Andie: News? comprising Principal Greene, Andie and a couple Principal Greene: I was contacted this morning other students sit behind a series of desks - the by the Educational Testing Service. student at the center of the hearing is none other (Andie just nods nervously) than Matt Caulfield, looking smug and arrogant as Principal Greene: Andie, your phenomenal PSAT per usual) result’s have placed you among the top 50,000 Matt: Give me a break, it was a joke. scorers in the country. You, young lady, have just Andie: There’s nothing funny about cheating, taken one giant step towards a National Merit Matt. Scholarship. Isn’t that fantastic? Matt: Principal Greene, members of the Andie: (not overjoyed) Fantastic. Disciplinary Committee, I—I admit it, I didn’t know Principal Greene: Andie, what’s wrong, you the answer on the quiz, so—so I did what any self- seem stunned? respecting kid would do in a cellular age. You Andie: No- no, no, it’s just, um... well it’s just- know, I whipped out my (Star-Tak?), I dialled yeah, I’m a little stunned. home, and—and I asked my mom - how many Principal Greene: (laughs, shaking her hand) justices sit on the Supreme Court? You know, call Congratulations. me crazy - you know, even Mr Higgins laughed. (Principal Greene pats her twice on the shoulder (Mr Higgins, the teacher, looks down at the desk, and leaves - Andie looks terribly guilty and embarrassed) ashamed) Andie: And you claim that your mother didn’t (Pacey enters an apartment building carrying his know the answer either? bags and a container of food - Doug opens the Matt: (nods) Uh-huh. door to find Pacey smiling like he wants Andie: OK, so how do you explain your perfect something - Doug goes to shut the door but Pacey score on the quiz? puts his foot out) Matt: I guessed. Doug: No, no, no. Look, Pacey, last time you Andie: OK, well then, I guess my were here you left water rings on my deco coffee recommendation would be that you get a failing table. grade on the work at question, and a three hour Pacey: Douggie, mom and dad just wanted me to detention. bring you something, that’s all. Matt: Why don’t you just bust my kneecaps while Doug: Yeah, what? you’re at it? Pacey: (hands over the casserole dish then Principal Greene: That’ll be enough, Mr pushes past Doug) Me. Caulfield. While your behaviour clearly violates the Doug: Look, what are you doing? letter of the Honour Code, I do not believe it is in Pacey: I’m moving in, bro. violation of the spirit. Doug: Why, excuse me? Matt: Am I free to go then? Pacey: You heard me, I’m moving in. Oh, look, Principal Greene: Yes, you’re free to go. Dad gave me a cheque to give to you - it’s like a (Caulfield goes to leave) security deposit, in case I break your stereo. Principal Greene: Mr Caulfield? Doug: (shakes his head in disbelief) Nah, you’re (Caulfield pauses to look at Principal Green) not going to break my stereo, because you’re not 132 touching my stereo, ‘cause you’re not moving in Bodie: Don’t try and stop it, Joey. When a little with me. Not now, not ever. This is not Party of sister accomplishes something impressive, it’s Five. very important for a big sister to create a huge Pacey: (going through Doug’s CD’s) Come on embarrassing fuss over her. Douggie, please, you can’t make me go back to Bessie: Yeah, and the more embarrassing the that house. (walking around the lounge room) I better. mean, think about it. You’ve got this whole styling Joey: Thank you. I mean, I know it’s not going to bachelor pad all to yourself, with the nice lighting be too fun for you to walk the halls of Capeside and the fancy window dressings, and (whispering) again seeing as though it wasn’t exactly your all the other trappings of the modern extremely favourite place on earth. closeted homosexual male. (speaking normally) Bessie: Yeah, but I’m older, remember, and that And I don’t even have a room to myself any more. was a long time ago, and things are different now. Doug: (sighs) Since when? (he starts putting the Bodie: Not that different. What, are there like, ten CD’s back in their alphabetical order) black kids in that school. Pacey: Well, since Kerry decided to take an Joey: Eleven. (puts on her coat) And don’t try to extended leave-of-absence from Jerry. You rewrite history, Bess. I mean, I remember the days remember Jerry, don’t you? Our favourite brother- that you used to pick me up from kindergarten and in-law, the one with all the tattoo’s? And of course, complain the whole way home about some smug, she brought along the no-neck monsters who are two-faced idiots who thought they were better currently residing in my room. So what do you than you simply because you had the wrong kind say, man, can I stay here? Please. of jeans. Doug: (sighs again) OK, look. If I agree to this, Bessie: OK, I admit it - I hated highschool. But and that is a very big if, there will be rules. that’s why I’m so glad that it’s not like that for you, Pacey: I am your willing pupil. Joey. You’re talented. And everybody at that Doug: Rule number one: we don’t eat anything school knows it, they’ve known it for years, and that mom sends over. The woman thinks that today they’re going to see proof positive that Joey iceberg lettuce is Au-cuisine. Potter is a force to be reckoned with. Pacey: Agreed. (Joey just smiles) Doug: Rule number two: the coaster - live it, love (Capeside High - the unveiling of the murals - the it, use it at all times. one on screen is that of a lighthouse) Pacey: Done. Girl: And I painted this so that we all can Doug: You will keep the CD collection in remember the beacon of knowledge that our alphabetical order - by last name, not first. Do you teachers shine on us every day. In closing, I understand? would like to thank Principal Greene and all of you Pacey: Oh, yeah, perfectly. But I don’t foresee the for this opportunity to impart my message of unity. need for me to dip into your diva collection any (there is mild applause - Jack, Dawson, Pacey time too soon. and Co look like they are about to gag) Doug: Oh, I think you would be surprised at how a (cut to Joey’s turn) tortured and passioned female voice can soothe Principal Green: And now, the last of our an achy-breaky heart. Capeside High murals. I’d like to ask Joey Potter Pacey: My heart is just fine, thank you very much. to step up, and grace us with a few words about Doug: (knowing it isn’t) Oh, sure it is little brother. her creation. Sure it is. (Joey walks up the front next to her mural, which Pacey: Look Douggie, if you’re referring to our is still covered) brief jailhouse conversation the other night, you Joey: Well, Principal Greene said the mural can just chalk it up to drunken rambling. should focus on what unifies us as a school. And Doug: Well there won’t be any of that on my if you think about it, nothing really unifies us. Even watch. And I won’t have any moping around like a our mascot is divisive. The Minute Man - right love-sick puppy either. By the way, are you any there you’ve alienated half the student population. good at decupage. (light laughter) So, the only thing that I could think Pacey: (to himself) Oh God help me. of that unites us all, that we all have in common, is (Potter household - Joey is getting ready for the that... well it’s that we all start off in kindergarten big mural unveiling) thinking that we can be anything that we want to Joey: You’re not planning on taking pictures? be, and by the time we get here, we- we’ve somehow lost that feeling. We’ve all started to 133 believe whatever our parents or friends have told Dawson: Paranoid much? us about what we can achieve and what we can Pacey: You don’t think there’s a possibility that be in life, and... and we’ve forgotten about that there’s somebody out there who hates Joey just possibility we had when we were younger. And for being Joey? Who hates the way she talks, the that’s what I think we all have in common, and way she dresses, the way she chews on her lower that’s what the symbol on my painting means - lip? possibility. I painted it because I thought we could Joey: (indignantly) Look, I don’t chew on my lower all use a daily reminder that, if you believe in lip. yourself, even when the odds seem stacked Pacey: OK, look, I’m just putting it out there. I against you, anything’s possible. So I hope you mean, think about it. Does anyone come to mind? like it. Joey: (in a mix of anger and sarcasm) What, so (Joey smiles at Dawson, who smiles back - Joey we can all gang up on him, and call him dirty nods at Principal Greene who uncovers the mural names? I mean, do me a favour - just stay out of - to everyone’s shock and horror the mural has this. been obliterated by black paint having been Dawson: (raising his voice) It was an act of smeared all over it - there are gasps and vandalism, pure and simple. Some idiot trying to murmuring amongst the crowd) rage against the machine- Joey: (whispers) Excuse me. (she runs off) Pacey: This doesn’t make any sense. (Capeside High - Joey comes out a door and jogs Joey: Perfect - Heckyl and Jeckyl. I mean, this is down the stairs and begins walking - Dawson exactly what a girl needs in the middle of an follows) existential crises. You know what, it’s not helping. Dawson: Joey. Hey, wait up. (he catches up with So thanks, but no thanks. her) Are you OK? (Joey storms off - Pacey and Dawson just look at (they are both walking briskly) one another) Joey: This is what I get for answering the call to Pacey: Well, shouldn’t we, uh... (he motions at public service - public humiliation. Joey) (we see Pacey in the background jogging to catch Dawson: No, let her go. up with Dawson and Joey) (McPhee residence - Andie and Jack are in the Dawson: Nobody’s humiliated in there, except for kitchen - Andie is preparing a salad for dinner) maybe the person who did this. Andie: So, uh, have you heard any word on Joey: Well it felt humiliating, Dawson. To me. Joey? Dawson: L- look, it was a silly prank. Jack: Well, she’s pretty broken up about it. (they stop and face one another) Andie: Yeah, obviously. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Joey: (sharply) You don’t know that. Jack: I’ll go catch they guy and you can have the Dawson: Look. Y- you put your heart and soul last laugh. into that, and- and I- I don’t blame you at all for Andie: Huh? being angry, but don’t turn this into some sort of Jack: DC - throw the book at them. personal attack on you. Andie: Right. You know what, actually Jack, I’ve (Pacey has finally caught up) been thinking about quitting my position. Pacey: Well, not to stick my nose in here, but to Jack: (surprised) On the Disciplinary Committee? just stick my nose in - of course it was a personal Andie: Hmm-mm. attack. Jack: Andie, you’re like the senior most student Dawson: What? representative. I mean, that’s one step below the Pacey: Well, there are only three murals in that saviour for mankind - I mean, as far as college hallway. Yours was the only one that got touched. admissions are concerned. Dawson: So? Andie: I know. But you know what? It’s just been Pacey: So, either someone didn’t like what Joey taking up way too much time. And besides that, was trying to say, or someone just didn’t like you. my school work is starting to slip. And the more I Dawson: Your logic leaves a lot to be desired. think about it, the more uncomfortable I feel about Pacey: Dawson, we’re in highschool here. It’s a sitting in judgement of others. veritable society unto it’s own, OK, with a pecking (Jack just stares at Andie uneasily) order that makes the caste system look forgiving. Andie: What? Who knows what subtle line you may have Jack: I- I’m just a little shocked. crossed or what offence you may have given, Andie: Why? without even knowing it. 134 Jack: (shrugs) It’s not like you to bail on a Joey: For the same reason you haven’t shot a roll commitment. of film since January. Andie: Come on, Jack. A lot of things aren’t like Dawson: (sighs) Joey, this is completely different. me, but I’ve done them anyway. Joey: Really? (Andie goes over to stir some pots simmering Dawson: Yes. I chose to quit film making - that away on the stove top) was a personal decision. Andie: Can you set the table? Joey: It had nothing to do with the fact that it was Jack: (distractedly) Yeah. poorly received at the festival? (Potter’s B&B - Dawson rings the service bell - Dawson: Truthfully? No. Joey approaches then shies away when she Joey: (sarcastically) Well, then how convenient realises it’s Dawson - she goes about gathering for you. plates from tables) Dawson: What does that mean? Dawson: Any room at the inn? Joey: You have all of these choices, Dawson. Joey: (guarded) Depends. You’ve all of these choices that you just take for Dawson: On what? granted. I mean, God... you know, one day you’re Joey: Like the lecture I’m going to be forced to sit a filmmaker, the next day you’re not, and- and through. tomorrow you could wake up and you could Dawson: (walking over towards Joey) No decide that you wanted to be a sculptor, or you lectures, I promise. Although I do want to say that wanted to just backpack through Europe or- or I’m sorry that what happened today happened. climb Mount Everest, and you can do that. Joey: (walking over to the sink to begin washing Dawson: And you can’t? the dishes) The whole thing was tragically lame to Joey: No, I can’t! begin with. I mean, as if painting on a wall is going Dawson: Why not?! to make any change or the slightest bit of Joey: I can’t afford to waste the time to go find difference in school. myself and be artistic, and I can’t afford to just Dawson: Maybe. Maybe not. reject reality and go off and chase my pipe Joey: For some reason I don’t like the sound of dreams. I can’t do it, because that’s not my life - those “maybe’s”, Dawson. that’s your life. Dawson: Repaint the mural. Dawson: Do you know what I think this is about? Joey: What? (Joey just turns away) Dawson: Do it tonight. Surprise that bastard when Dawson: I think you’re relieved. he shows up tomorrow morning. (Joey just gives him a ‘what would you know?’ Joey: You know, I would rather shove red-hot look) needles underneath my toenails, OK? Dawson: I think you’re relieved somebody painted Dawson: So you’re going to let some highschool over your mural. ‘Cause you never had to go prank keep you from finishing something you through the hard part. You never had to show it to obviously care about? the world. Never had to hear what anyone else Joey: I finished it Dawson, OK? It’s not my fault thought about it. You never had to decide for that not everybody got a chance to see it. yourself, how good or talented you really are. Dawson: (incredulously) I can’t believe you’re (Joey just remains silent) being like this. Dawson: Look. You know why I came over Joey: (defensively) Like what? tonight? (he pulls out a set of keys and holds them Dawson: Defeated. Dejected, demoralised. up) These are the keys to the school. Principal Joey: (a little sarcastic) Newsflash, Dawson. I Greene gave them to me. (he throws them on the can’t always be your plucky little Joey Potter. I table) Do what you want. don’t have this unlimited reserve of goodwill and (Dawson leaves - Joey is surprised with the keys good faith in humanity, and- and sometimes I am and looks like she realised she acted like a cow) going to be a little depressed. (Capeside High cafeteria - Pacey comes up to a Dawson: (frustrated) It’s not about demeanour. couple of guys waiting in line and looks at their It’s about not being a victim. tray which so far has potato and hamburger) Joey: (a touch annoyed) You know what? It took Pacey: Well, if it’s brown, it must be Tuesday. me a month to do that, Dawson. I had to conceive Guy # 1: What do you call these things again, it, and I had to execute it, and you can’t just Witter? expect me to start over. Dawson: Why not? 135 Pacey: Elephant scabs. Packed with whole grain (Dawson looks concerned then walks off) goodness. (pauses) Did you guys see the look on (School parking lot - a nice black four-wheel-drive Principal Greene’s face? pulls into a spot and Matt Caulfield gets out - Guy # 2: Huh? Pacey approaches him) Pacey: At the unity mural thing. I thought the guy Pacey: That’s a nice rig. was going to have a breakdown. Caulfield: A Christmas present. Guy # 1: Yeah, that girl Joey, she totally lost it. A Pacey: Man, that sucks, huh? classic. Caulfield: What’s that? Pacey: (softly) Yeah. Look, uh, I’m running myself Pacey: Oh, your parents shorted you on the off- a little pool here - guess the true culprit, winner road package. takes all. You guys in? (Caulfield goes to leave but Pacey grabs his arm - Guy # 1: How much? sinister music starts playing) Pacey: It’s only a buck a pop. Caulfield: Get your hands off me. Guy # 1: (handing over a dollar) Had to be (Pacey grabs the front of Caulfield pullover and Caulfield. pushes him hard up against the side of the 4WD) Guy # 2: (handing over another dollar) Yeah, Pacey: Oh, come on, tough guy. definitely. Caulfield: What the hell do you want? Pacey: What makes you guys so sure? Pacey: (shoves his hard against the car again - Guy # 1: ‘Cause there’s no other possibility. speaks threateningly) You know exactly what I Pacey: OK, Caulfield it is. want. (he pushes him again) (Pacey moves away and then spots Caulfield Caulfield: So what’s next, Whitter, you gonna sic walking over to his friends and sit down - Pacey your civil servant dad on me? Can’t you see, walks over and pulls up a chair) (pushes Pacey back) I’m fairly shaking in my Pacey: Caulfield. boots. Caulfield: Do I know you? Pacey: Well, you know my name. That’s a good Pacey: No, not really - thankfully for me. Look, starting place. rumour has it that you have this irrepressible urge Caulfield: What I know is that I’m gonna count to to express yourself artistically? three, and you’re gonna step aside. Caulfield: What? That thing yesterday at the Pacey: Dream another dream, cowboy. That’s not mural? That was pretty classic, huh? Too bad I how this is gonna shake out. can’t take credit for it. Caulfield: One. Two. Three. Pacey: So you didn’t do it? (Caulfield goes to push Pacey, but Pacey grabs Caulfield: (coyly) I don’t know. I mean, everyone him and pins him against the 4WD again) seems to think I did, so maybe I should just do the Caulfield: What, are you whacked or something?! police thing and accept the credit and say thank Pacey: (menacingly) Oh no, not yet. Not by a long you. shot. Pacey: Maybe. But look, I’m here to tell you that Caulfield: What? You want me to say I did it? OK, not everybody thinks what you did was funny. I did it. There, you satisfied? Caulfield: Well, some people don’t have a sense Pacey: (still menacingly) OK, good. Now what are of humour. Is that your problem? you gonna do about it, huh? Pacey: (nods) Yeah, that’s me. I’m humourless. (Caulfield doesn’t answer) Caulfield: Hmm. (leans forward seriously) What Pacey: (throws Caulfield against the car again do you want? and yells) I said what are you gonna do about it?!! Pacey: I want you to apologise. And then I want Caulfield: I’m gonna go and apologise. OK? you to turn yourself in. (he begins to stand) And I (Pacey relents and it looks as if Caulfield is going want you to do it before the day is done. to go apologise to Joey - but he swings around Caulfield: And why would I do that? and punches Pacey in the face a couple of times - Pacey: Because this time you just happened to Pacey throws Caulfield over the hood of the next mess with somebody I care about. car then scrambles after him - Caulfield manages (Capeside High - Dawson walks along the hallway a couple of punches to Pacey’s stomach and puts to Joey’s covered mural and takes a peek - he him in a headlock before Pacey throws him to the let’s out a disappointed sigh then spots Andie ground and proceeds to punch Caulfield’s face walking past) repeatedly - a car horn blares) Dawson: Hey, have you seen Joey? Principal Greene: (yelling) Hey! On your feet, Andie: No, she wasn’t at home room. both of you! 136 (Pacey gets off Caulfield and stands) Caulfield: I went nowhere near that thing. As if I Principal Green: Inside, now! could give a rats ass about some stupid Chinese (Principal Greene’s office - he opens the door and drawing. speaks to the secretary - Pacey and Caulfield are Dawson: If you didn’t go anywhere near it, how seated in his office) did you know what it was? Principal Greene: Get me Dawson Leery and (everyone looks at Caulfield) David Curran please. Principal Greene: That’s a very good question. Andie: Uh, Principal Greene, can I talk to you for Caulfield: (shrugs) Anyone could have taken a a minute? look. She’s been working on it for weeks. Principal Greene: Not now, Andie, I’m in the Dawson: Yeah, at night and before school. But middle of something. other than that, it’s been sealed up tight as a Andie: Please. It’ll only take a second and it’s drum. I’m one of her closest friends - I didn’t even really important. know what it was. Principal Greene: (impatiently) What is it? Caulfield: You know, this (pointing at Dawson), is Andie: I’d like to tender my resignation from the ridiculous. Disciplinary Committee. Dawson: Not to mention, if you didn’t as you say, Principal Greene: (surprised) What? give a rat’s ass, then why would you go to all that Andie: I think that you have this idea about me trouble of finding out what it was? that I’m somebody I’m not, that I’m- that I’m (there is a moment of silence as everyone looks at somebody with unwavering integrity, and I can’t Caulfield - who himself look guilty as all hell) live up to that. Pacey: (smugly) Check the floor, Caulfield. I think Principal Greene: Can we discuss this later, at you just painted yourself into a corner. length? Caulfield: OK, you got me. (snaps his fingers) Andie: I don’t think that there’s anything more to Busted. Yeah, I (words??) some meaningless discuss, Principal Greene. Thank you. mural. You know what, for one thing, it was ugly. (she walks away leaving Principal Greene looking You know, it was an eyesore. And not to mention, stunned) why do I have to look at some trivial girl’s little (cut to Principal Green’s office where Dawson and message to the masses every morning? Frankly, it David have arrived) offends me. Principal Greene: Now since neither Mr Witter Principal Greene: (incredulously) “Possibility” is nor Mr Caulfield choose to clarify the meaning of offensive to you? their little title fight in the parking lot, I’m counting (Dawson scoffs) on their friends to look out for their best interests. Caulfield: I’m white, I’m rich. That’s all the Mr Leery? possibility I need. Pacey: Don’t say anything, Dawson. (McPhee residence - Jack and Andie sit at the Principal Greene: Mr Curran? kitchen bench eating dinner) Caulfield: Not a word, Dave. Jack: (surprised) Say again? Principal Greene: Well somebody better speak Andie: (softly) You heard me. (pauses) The up, and you better speak up fast. (to Caulfield) advance copy of the PSAT that Dawson had - I’m Because a timely call to the Dean, over at the one who stole it. That’s how I did so well on Dartmouth, would trigger an immediate review of the test, Jack. That’s how I scored in the ninety- your early admission status. And Mr Witter, one ninth percentile. more suspension on your record and you can Jack: That was you? (sighs) Oh, Andie... (sighs bend down and kiss this whole higher education again, speechless) deal goodbye. Andie: I know, it’s quite a surprise. (a moment of silence ensues) Jack: Well why? You knew that stuff cold - inside Principal Green: OK. I have no other alternative. and out, backwards and forwards. If anyone was Dawson: It’s because of the mural. going to ace that test it was gonna be you. Pacey: (angrily) Hey, shut up Dawson, this is not Andie: It was just sitting there on the table like- your fight! like this piece of forbidden fruit, and... not a Dawson: It’s not yours either. chance of getting caught. I don’t know, it just Principal Greene: So what your saying is that the seemed like all the answers to my problems at the reason that Mr Witter picked a fight was because time. he believes Mr Caulfield had something to do with Jack: What do you mean? the vandalisation of the unity mural? 137 Andie: I thought that, you know, if I aced the test Pacey: Because, the guy deserves whatever he then everybody would think that I was OK again. gets, OK? Preferable his silver spoon shoved up You know, that that would somehow convince his ass. them. But now that I really am OK, I’m having a Joey: That’s funny, Pacey, that’s really funny. hard time living with myself. Pacey: Oh, this is rich. Here I am trying to do the Jack: Hence your resignation from the right thing. (throwing his hands in the air) You Disciplinary Committee. know, sometimes a guy just can’t win. Andie: (nods) Jack, the past six months I have Joey: No, he can’t. Not if he completely been walking around feeling like the biggest overreacts to a situation. If you’re gonna throw hypocrite. I mean, don’t you see, I’ve been so away your future, do it on your own account, OK? hard on all these other people just as a way of Pacey: Oh, hey, don’t get me wrong. Don’t think I punishing myself. (pauses) But now it’s time to ever cared here. I was only doing Dawson a make amends for that. favour. (he crosses his arms) Jack: (raises eyebrows) Wait a minute, what- Joey: Dawson? what are you planning on doing? Pacey: Yes, Dawson - looking out for ya. Andie: I’m going to tell Principal Greene (Joey gives him a quizzical look) tomorrow. Pacey: Think back with me. Way back. You know, Jack: No, you’re not. like the beginning of the school year? Dawson Andie: Yeah, I am. Leery returns from the big city a changed man, Jack: No, no, Andie, look. Think about this, OK? determined to sever ties with girl across the creek. You screwed up - fine, OK? It was a moment of So he asks trusted friend to look after said girl weakness, but do you really want to get kicked out during the delicate transitional period. Trusted of school for cheating on something that has the friend, of course obliges, and now his friends gets word “practice” in front of it? his head handed to him on a platter. Andie: (sharply) Jack, you know what I want? Joey: So you guys just traded me off like some (pauses) I want to be free of this thing once and sort of baseball card? Is that what this is about? for all. You know, I- free of what I did. And I- I Pacey: What? want to be able to go to the mirror and recognise Joey: Us! You and me. I- I thought that... who I am again. Pacey: Thought what? Jack: Andie, there’s got to be a better way. Joey: I guess I thought something else, Pacey. Andie: Jack, I’ve thought long and hard about (Joey storms out) this, OK? There is no better way. Not for me. (Capeside High - sitting of the Disciplinary (Doug’s apartment - Pacey lies on the couch with Committee - Caulfield is the object of current a steak over his eye) consideration - Pacey sits up the back waiting his Doug: (taking the steak away) Do you mind, I’m turn) having that steak for dinner tonight with a nice Principal Greene: You have consistently flaunted barnaise sauce. my authority, Mr Caulfield. You’ve undermined my Pacey: Well what am I having? teachers’ ability to educate. And now, you (the door rings - Doug goes to answer it) challenge my commitment to reshape this school Doug: Bread and water. into a community. (Doug opens to door and Joey enters) Caulfield: Principal Green, it was only a mural. Pacey: Doug, I’m a soldier here, returning from Principal Greene: Yes, it was only a mural. But it the killing fields. I mean, what- where’s my Purple was so much more than just a mural. You don’t Heart, my ticketape parade? fool me, Mr Caulfield. I know exactly who you are. Joey: (sarcastically) Watch it on your black and You’ve been led to believe you’re untouchable, so white. You know, the one with the coat-hanger as you disrupt the school, disobey the rules. You an antenna at the Chevron station, where you’re serve to divide the student body with your going probably going to be pumping gas for the arrogance and your attitude. Now you may be rest of your natural born life, Pacey. Of all the smart, and you may be rich, Mr Caulfield, but you boneheaded moves! are not above the law. And for that reason, it is my Pacey: What are you talking about? I was right, it decision that you be expelled from Capeside High. was Matt Caulfield. Caulfield: Expelled? Joey: Yeah, and that lets you off the hook how? Principal Greene: You heard me. Caulfield: For the rest of the year? Principal Greene: For the rest of the year. 138 Caulfield: Principal Greene. Do you have any (Capeside High - Pacey exits the Disciplinary idea what my father’s going to say about this? Committee hearing - Dawson stands to greet him Principal Greene: Yes. I have a very good idea and they being walking down the hallway) about what your father’s going to say about this. Pacey: Let me just state for the record, (points (cut to outside the room where Dawson is looking towards the room) I like that man in there. In fact, in through the window at the DC hearing - Joey I’ll go one better - he is a great human being. He’s approaches) got the fairness of Lincoln, the charisma of Martin Joey: (coolly) So what’s going on in there? Luther King Jnr. He’s- he’s- he’s even-handed and Dawson: I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. tempered, and, if I may say so myself, acutely Joey: (looks through the window) Well, no sign of susceptible to a certain type of irreverent humour. birch cane or knuckle-wrapping. Dawson: So he let you off? Dawson: No, but let’s face it, Pacey’s going to be Pacey: Not exactly. lucky if he gets off with just another suspension. Dawson: But he didn’t suspend you? Joey: The way things are going, I mean, you Pacey: Well, let’s just say I’m not packing my should have just asked me to look out for him. bags quite yet. Although three days off would Dawson: Excuse me? have provided a welcome diversion. Joey: I know all about the little wife-swapping Dawson: (impatiently) So divulge - what arrangement. happened in there? Dawson: Wife...? Joey, that’s not how it was, and Pacey: (proudly) I’m going to be a mentor. you know it. Dawson: You’re going to be a what? Joey: Then how was it? Pacey: A mentor. You know, Capeside High’s Dawson: Well, first of all, it was months ago. I mentoring program. Since I seem to be completely mean, things then were very different between us. incapable of suppressing my own juvenile Joey: You’re right. Back then I felt like you still impulses, Principal Greene seems to think that I understood me. would benefit from the company, and example, of Dawson: And I don’t now? someone half my age. Joey: No. I never asked for your pity. (Dawson laughs) Dawson: Jo- Joey, it wasn’t about pity. I couldn’t Pacey: What’s so funny? be there for you, so I wanted someone you could Dawson: What about the poor kid? What are you turn to, someone you could talk to. Now tell me, gonna teach him? where is the harm in that? Pacey: (mocking outrage) What are you talking Joey: Well, it just would have been nice if that about? someone could have mustered a shred of genuine Dawson: Are you going to teach him the concern, Dawson- importance of keeping a secret? Like, say, from, Dawson: Joey, that someone is that room right you know, Joey, for example? now because he’s got a hell of a lot more than a Pacey: (bows his head) Oh, that. Uh, she told “shred” of concern. you? (Joey just shakes her head and gives Dawson an Dawson: Yeah. ‘as if’ look) (the bell rings) Dawson: (sighs) Joey, why are you doing this. Pacey: Hmm. Well, what do you think the odds Joey: (sarcastic) Doing what? are that you, yourself, will be as enlightened and Dawson: Casting aspersions on people who forgiving a person as Principal Greene just was? obviously care about you. Would you really think Dawson: (not entirely serious) No good, Pace. that I don’t want the best for you? I mean, Pacey. I Not good. mean, Pacey’s a lot of things - impulsive, (Pacey just sighs) thoughtless, stubborn - but after everything that’s (Principal Greene’s office - he sits at his desk happened this year, can you honestly doubt for a reading a typed letter - he finishes and puts the second that he doesn’t truly care about you? letter down, then looks across the desk in a very (Joey looks sufficiently chastened, realising she serious manner) was being a little harsh on Pacey)) Principal Greene: To say that I am profoundly (Capeside High - Andie is at her locker, clearing shocked and disturbed by what you did would be her things out, teary-eyed - the last thing she puts an understatement. Your behaviour was deceitful, in the box is an advert for the play she directed - immoral, and ultimately a disgrace to this school. Barefoot in the Dark) Andie: (nods) I know. I just wish that I could have told you sooner. 139 Principal Greene: You know I’m going to have to at work, standing on a ladder, painting over the inform the Educational Testing Service, and that top to provide a fresh backdrop) they’re going to cancel your scores, and that Joey: (smiling) What on earth? you’re going to forfeit your chance at a National Pacey: (turning to face her) Hey, Potter. Merit Scholarship? Joey: Pacey, what are you doing? Andie: (nods again) I’m aware of that, yes. Pacey: Painting. Principal Greene: Now, you say that there were Joey: Duh. other students who were... aware of this test, but Pacey: I just thought it’d be good if you could start you were the only one who exploited it. Are you with a blank canvas. absolutely certain about that? Joey: Blank canvas, huh? Andie: Absolutely certain. Pacey: Yeah, you know, wipe the slate clean, Principal Greene: (speaking a bit more kindly) (some foreign words—dabalarassa??) - return to What do you want me to do here? What am I point A. All that good stuff. supposed to do about this, Andie? Joey: (puts the paint tins down) Hmm. And, uh, Andie: (teary) Um, well... I heard that Matt who may I ask, told you I was planning on Caulfield was expelled from Capeside today. And repainting the mural in the first place? what I did was no less grave or serious an Pacey: Ah, it’s just this guy I met out on the street. offence. Joey: Just some guy? Principal Greene: Is that what you think? Pacey: (steps down from the scaffolding) Yeah, Andie: I’ve cleared out my locker, and I know that you know, your typical do-gooder type. (pauses) all actions have consequences. So, are you gonna thank me? Principal Greene: Andie- Joey: For what? Andie: Most of all, I’m sorry for letting you down, Pacey: Well, for all manner of things. You know, and- and for letting myself down. like for defending your honour, bucking the Principal Greene: Andie, you and Matt Caulfield system- have nothing in common. He is a selfish, spoiled Joey: (Tilting??) at windmills while in the throws young man, who has no sense of right or wrong. of a misguided hero complex? Who actually takes pleasure in hurting others. The Pacey: (smiles) Well, yeah, that too. only person that you hurt... is yourself. Joey: Pacey, if I was going to thank you for Andie: (crying) But I did cheat. And it was wrong, anything, it would be for being yourself, an, you and I should be punished for it. know, for not caring about what anybody else Principal Greene: When you were on the thinks, and- and for knowing in your heart what’s Disciplinary Committee, one of the things that I right and wrong, and... for being there this year... tried to reach you was the idea of proportionality. when I need you the most. Make the punishment fit the crime - yes. But also Pacey: (gloating) You’re welcome. (holding out a look at the person. Now Matt Caulfield, he doesn’t can of paint) Going up? deserve, nor would be benefit from, my leniency. Joey: (taking it) One condition. But Andie McPhee? She just might. Pacey: Sure, name it. Andie: I don’t know what to say? Joey: Be honest. The only reason you were Principal Greene: Don’t say anything. Get your hanging out with me is simply because Dawson stuff, put it back in your locker. As for your told you to? punishment, I’ll have to think about that for a Pacey: Yep, that’s the only reason. couple of days. Joey: (she considers this) Hmm. You need to get Andie: (nods, looking very relieved) Thank you, a life. Principal Greene. Thank you. (Pacey chuckles and Joey smiles - they begin (Capeside High - Joey walks along the hallway painting over the mural - Dawson enters the with bib overalls, hair in a bandanna, and cans of building and looks over at Joey and Pacey - he paint dangling from either arm - she approaches nods like he’s glad things are back the way they her desecrated mural to find Pacey already hard should be and continues walking- Ending credits)

140 To Green, With Love

[PTA Meeting] Woman: And if you were doing your job as a (The schoolboard is seated in front of a large parent, Mr. Caulfield, maybe your son would still group of parents. People are yelling and fighting. be in school right now. Dawson, Pacey and Joey sit dejectedly in their Pacey: Hear, hear. seats, observing.) Woman: He has a file in the guidance office over Dawson: This isn’t going well, is it? an inch thick. Pacey: Well, that depends on who you ask. Joey: Look, Principal Green is a fair man. Joey: Yeah, if you’re an enraged parent with Mr. Caulfield: I’m sure he seems that way to you, misguided agenda, it’s going great. dear, and maybe to some of the other students Man: I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, whose families don’t— Superintendent, but I don’t recall the Board of Ed Joey: Don’t what? passing any rule that allows a lunatic to start Mr. Caulfield: Don’t embrace the values— passing death sentences just because one of our Pacey: Oh, come on! kids acted like a kid! Mr. Caulfield: --that we as a— (Crowd applauds) Dawson: (rising) Where do you get off attacking Superintendent: Please, please, please. As I’ve her family? You don’t know anything about her mentioned— family! Pacey: This is unbelievable. Superintendent: (slams gavel) People, that’s Superintendent: We strongly urged Principal enough! (rises) As of this Friday at three o’clock, if Green to reconsider his decision, but as much as I Principal Green has not reduced Matt Caulfield’s wish it weren’t so, Principal Green has final say in expulsion to a more reasonable sentence, I will all Capeside High disciplinary matters. ask him to tender his resignation. (Mr. Caulfield stands up) (Joey sits and shakes her head) Mr. Caulfield: Dr. Fielding- Dr. Fielding, may I? Pacey: Did what I think just happened happen? Superintendent: Yes, please. Please, Mr. Fielding’s gonna railroad Green into changing his Caulfield. ruling? Mr. Caulfield: You consider yourself a member of Dawson: Either that or out of town. this community? Joey: (she rises and begins to walk away) Come Superintendent: Yes. on. Mr. Caulfield: Are you going to let the prejudices [After the PTA Meeting] of an outsider ruin my son’s future? (Shot of Sherry through the lens of the camera) Joey: I can’t take this any longer I have to say Sherry: He’ll be expecting Green’s resignation. something. (stands) This is ridiculous, this whole For now, this is Sherry Eisler of WKWB reporting thing has been blown out of proportion. from downtown Capeside. (She finishes and Superintendent: This is a PTA meeting, young sighs, fixing her hair by looking at her reflection in lady, not a pep rally. Now you’ll have your seat the lens) please. Gale: (from behind her) Hello, Sherry. Joey: Well, isn’t anyone going to defend Principal Sherry: Miss Leery, I mean Gale, it’s great to see Green for everything he’s done? you! You look terrific! Mr. Caulfield: Miss Potter, my son tells me that Gale: So do you. Hey, congratulations on making you are the one whose mural was destroyed. field reporter. That’s a long way from the shy Joey: This has nothing to do with me, okay? intern that I hired. Mr. Caulfield: You’re exactly right. What this has Sherry: Well I could say I owe it all to you. The to do with is the scare-tactics of a man whose new generation of female reporters would be extremism and notions of justice are better suited nowhere without veteran trailblazers like yourself. for an urban war-zone than our civilized Gale: (slightly offended) So, what’s your story? community! Sherry: Well you were inside there, didn’t you Joey: You did not just say what I thought you see? said. Gale: I saw a bunch of out-of-control parents Mr. Caulfield: What I’m saying is that if this which, for this town, is hardly news. educator were doing his job in any capacity none of us would have to be here tonight

141 Sherry: Oo, maybe but what about the principal Sherry: Concerned parents demanded actions expelling a kid for the rest of the year. He sounds and answers tonight from Capeside School like a real whacko to me. Superintendent Byron Felding. Cameraman: Come on, Sherry, we’ve gotta (Dawson watches from his room) move. Sherry: The uproar started when a high school Sherry: Ah, we’ve gotta get going, got a deadline girl painted a mural that was intended to bring to make. You remember those days. It was great unity, (we see a shot of Joey’s defaced mural) seeing you, Gale. instead all it brought was discord. Gale: You too, Sherry. (Nikki watches with concern and glances at her [The Docks at night] father in the other room) (Joey and Pacey walk quickly, wrapped up in Sherry: And a potential resignation of a high warm clothes) school principal under siege. (shot of Principal Joey: I mean, what happened in there was so Green looking angry) Howard Green has thus far unjust, not to mention personally demoralizing. refused to comment publicly on his controversial Pacey: You know how this system works, Jo. decision to expel Matt Caulfield, (Matt’s dorky high Convicts, mental defectives, and people under the school picture is shown) a senior accused of age of 18 are routinely denied the chance to vandalizing the so-called unity mural and fighting participate in decisions that affect their everyday with another boy lives. (Pacey watches and shakes his head) Joey: Well the problem is that the squeaky wheel Sherry: who took exception to the prank. The gets all the grease. I mean, while these idiots rant other boy was let off with only community service and rave about low test scores, the people who (Gale watches with disapproval) are perfectly happy with the way things are just sit Sherry: leading some people in this community to back and mind their own business. question Green’s motives and wonder whether he Pacey: True. Happy, satisfied people rarely let some kind of personal agenda affect his attend emergency PTA meetings. judgment. Joey: And teenagers. I mean come on, they’d (Back to Joey who is watching, the phone still in have to be coaxed and prodded before they’d her hand, Bessie and Bodie standing behind her) actually set down their Playstations, turn off TRL, Sherry: Joey Potter, the girl who painted the and do something about something. mural, was present at tonight’s meeting and Pacey: You said it, Sister. So who’s gonna rally summed it up best when she said this about the troops? Caulfield’s harsh punishment. Joey: (shrugs) Obviously nobody. Joey: (shown on tv from the meeting) This is Pacey: You could. ridiculous! This whole thing has been blown out of Joey: (laughs) Yeah, Joey Potter against the proportion. system. What am I gonna do, paint another Joey: (watching) I never said that! mural? Bessie: We believe you, Sis. [Joey’s House] Joey: (to AJ) I mean, I said it, but not in that (Joey’s on the phone with AJ) context. I mean, this isn’t fair! No one is ever Joey: I don’t even know why I bothered to go. I gonna give me the chance to say everything that I mean, it was a total waste of time, there were want to say. barely any students there, and I got two AJ: You’re right, they won’t. Not unless you stand sentences out before I was attacked. up and demand to be heard, show them you won’t AJ: Joey, you can’t just expect people to rally be ignored. around a cause that doesn’t exist. They need Joey: What are you suggesting? leadership, they need— [Capeside High Hallway] Joey: That’s what Pacey said. (Joey tapes a poster to the wall) AJ: Pacey? What kind of a name is Pacey? Pacey: Well, Norma Rae, looks like you took my Bessie: (to Joey) You’re gonna want to see this. advice after all. Joey: I’m on the phone! Joey: And what advice is that? (tapes a poster) Bessie: (going into the other room) No really, I Pacey: This meeting, rallying the troops. I have to think you’re gonna want to see this. say, this is a big step forward for you. I mean, I’m Joey: (to AJ) Hold on. known as the Capeside crusader far and wide, (She follows Bessie and sees Sherry on TV breaking down sexual stereotypes, eradicating reporting on the story) robed teachers, but you, you’re definitely more the 142 rebel without the cause type. So look, I just her story. (Dawson turns off tv with remote) You wanted to say, don’t hesitate to ask for any help know, what kills me is an important story done that you might need, seeing as this whole thing badly simply because the person covering it has was my idea in the first place. no idea how to decipher truth from popular Joey: (patronizingly) You were encouraging, yes, opinion. Pacey, but this meeting was hardly your idea. Dawson: Sounds like you miss it. Pacey: If that’s the way you wanna play it, fine. If Gale: I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, but hey, I’ve got you wanna pretend like you devised this whole- this place right now. (She rises) Onward and Joey: I didn’t. (she goes around a corner and upward (Dawson follows her) What if you tried to walks up to AJ) tell the real story about what’s going on? AJ: All out. Gale: Relive my glory days as a field reporter? Joey: Me too. (Pacey watches uncomfortably and Dawson: Well all you would need to get back in clears his throat) Oh that’s right, you guys have the game is a camera. never met. Um, Pacey this is AJ. AJ, this is Pacey. Gale: And a crew. AJ: Right, the one with the peculiar name. How Dawson: In these days of digital video, a crew is you doing? one person. Joey: AJ came down to help us rally up the Gale: And just who would my one person be? troops. Dawson: You have one indentured servant at AJ: Yeah, give Capeside a small taste of some your disposal. tried and true college protest action. Gale: I don’t know, Honey, you know, even if we Girl: Quick! Green’s coming inside… and you did this and did it right, there’s no promise that the guys have to see this. station would run it. They’ve made it clear many (Joey goes out the door followed by AJ and times over that my services are past their prime. Pacey. People are picketing and chant with signs, Dawson: Well we’re not doing it for the station, “Green too extreme!” Principal Green walks we’re doing it for you, and for Principal Green, and through them, up to the door. He stops in front of for Joey. Joey.) [Outside the Superintendent’s Office] Principal Green: Joey, after you. (Joey stands with Dawson and Gale, who are (Joey looks uncomfortable and goes inside, setting up their camera) followed by Principal Green, Pacey and AJ.) Joey: We barely have enough people to field a [Gale’s yet-to-be-named Restaurant] softball team, let alone change the world. (Gale and Dawson watch the news) Dawson: Rome wasn’t built in a day, Joey. Sherry: Concerned parents showed up at (AJ and Pacey stand nearby. Pacey gives AJ a Capeside High today to express their outrage at a mug) principal that many think has gone too far. AJ: Thanks for doing this. Hot coffee is great for Gale: Thanks for helping out tonight, Honey. morale. Dawson: Don’t thank me, thank Dad. He’s the Pacey: Oh, no problem. So, where’s Jo? one who indentured me to this servitude. AJ: She’s getting ready for her close-up. She’s Gale: And not a moment too soon. I must say, this great isn’t she? Born leader. restaurant stuff, it’s a lot more work than I Pacey: Ah, she’s a peach, alright. expected. Gale: (to Dawson) Ask her a series of questions Dawson: Sorry I couldn’t be here any sooner. about the nature of the protest and where they’re Gale: Oh, what happened at that meeting at picketing from and then I think we should Joey’s tonight? concentrate on- Dawson: (smiles) You should’ve seen her: totally (Sherry and her crew come from behind) confident, totally inspired. Sherry: Gale, what’s this? Gale: You’re proud of her. Gale: I’m doing a story on the Green situation. Dawson: Yeah. How could I not be? She’s finally Sherry: For cable? standing up for herself and fighting back the way I Gale: I don’t know, truth be told. I was thinking always knew she could, you know? I can’t help about submitting it to Roger at the station. but feel a part of that. She’s organizing an action Sherry: Hm. Good luck with that. Joey, I would tomorrow outside of the superintendent’s office. love to get a follow-up interview with you. Gale: Well she’s got a tough road in front of her. Joey: In your frosted blonde dreams, Barbie. (she looks at the television) Especially with that (Sherry walks away) You don’t think I was too spokesmodel-turned-journalist misrepresenting hard on her? 143 Dawson: Sounds about right to me. Fielding: 300? (The Superintendent looks out the window at the Joey: Mm-hm. And there’s gonna be a rally group below) tomorrow night, I mean, if you think the crowd last Joey: (to AJ) What is it? night was vocal, you just wait until tomorrow. Pacey: Superintendent Fielding wants to see you. Fielding: I didn’t know about this. Joey: Me? Joey: Make no mistake, Dr. Fielding, there’s a AJ: First signs of resistance falling. voice that doesn’t agree with what’s happening Joey: Why don’t I get that feeling? here, and that voice will be heard. Pacey: Because Fielding’s an unscrupulous Fielding: I’m all ears. (He sits) Now I suggest that ineffectual jerk who cares more about job security you and your friends hurry back to school before than about what anybody out here thinks. He’s that principal that you love so dearly has to serve only gonna threaten you, Jo. I don’t think you you with detention for cutting class. should go in there. Joey: Who’s cutting class? I’m out sick with a Joey: (to AJ) What do you think? cold. AJ: I’d go. [Principal Green’s House] (Joey goes inside. Pacey stares at AJ) (Principal Green goes to answer the doorbell. [Superintendent Fielding’s Office] Gale and Dawson are there. Nikki stands behind (Joey walks into the office, right beneath a large her Dad) elk head) Principal Green: Dawson, Mrs. Leery, to what do Fielding: Ms. Josephine Potter, correct? I owe the late-afternoon honor? Joey: Yes. Dawson: For your interview. Fielding: Have a seat. I assume you know who I Principal Green: Interview? What interview? am. Gale: For the story I’m hoping to run on channel Joey: The man who shows up at football games three about the situation in the community as a and graduation? result of Matt Caulfield’s expulsion. Fielding: I appreciate a sense of humor, though I Dawson: I talked to Nikki this afternoon, she said prefer to think of my involvement in your life as a it was okay. touch more personal than that. I hear you’re Nikki: I just wanted you to have an opportunity to responsible for that dissonant clamoring outside. speak. For everyone to know your side of the Is that true? story. Joey: Well parents can picket a school, students Principal Green: I know my side of the story and can picket a Superintendent’s office. that’s all that matters. I’m sorry, but my daughter Fielding: Fair enough, and just what is it you misinformed you. intend to accomplish with this first amendment Dawson: Principal Green, for what its worth, display? people have severely misinterpreted you in this Joey: Well it’s our belief that Principal Green was entire situation. Are you sure you don’t want a right in expelling Matt Caulfield and he shouldn’t chance to explain your actions? be forced into changing his ruling simply Principal Green: It’s not my job to prove to because— people that I’m a fair and decent man. If they don’t Fielding: No one’s forcing him. know that by now, some sound byte on a Joey: Pardon me, Dr. Fielding, but you television show is not gonna help. threatened to ask for his resignation. Nikki: When you see a good fight, get in it. Dr Fielding: That wasn’t a threat, that was a direct King’s words, but your lesson to me. request. Principal Green: This is not a good fight, Nikki. Joey: As a representative of the student body, I’m The more I try to prove myself, the more I telling you what is happening to Principal Green is empower this insane notion that I’m an enraged wrong. man on a bigoted tirade. I’m sorry, but I cant grant Fielding: As far as I know, all you represent is you the interview. Have a nice day. that meagre handful of students out there right [Joey’s house] now and that’s it. (Lots of people stand around, preparing for the Joey: (lying) Well, there’s more of us. rally. Andie walks by on the phone while Pacey Fielding: Oh really? talks to Joey and AJ) Joey: (gaining confidence) A lot more. In fact, we Pacey: I’m just saying it might’ve been nice to have a student-signed petition with 300 have a little heads up before you invented a signatures. 144 petition with over 300 signatures. I don’t even (They kiss. Pacey watches and shakes his head think we have 300 students at our school! forlornly. Jen sees him and comes up to him) AJ: She had to bluff, how else was she gonna get Jen: You okay? the guy’s respect? Pacey: Yeah. Yeah, I’m just gonna hang some of Joey: Right. Look, it’ll be fine, Pacey. Just tell us these fliers up. (he leaves) what we’re doing to get people to come to the Bessie: (coming up to Joey and AJ) Okay, I just rally. got a phone call. Pacey: Well that bluff’s gonna be a little bit harder Joey: What is it? to pull off. I mean, a petition is easy enough to Bessie: Some concerned citizen wanting me to fake. You just convince kids you’re campaigning know that letting High School students using my for extra chocolate milk days in the cafeteria, but place of business as their point of attack against for a rally you gotta produce actual bodies. the system is not the best way to keep my AJ: (dramatically) Those are problems, we need business afloat. solutions. Joey: I don’t get it. Jen: (coming up to them) All right, which we have. Bessie: You don’t, do you? You never do. (She See, Pacey here said think internet, so Jack is exits leaving Joey looking crestfallen) right now putting an announcement out on the [Joey’s kitchen] Capeside web site and Andie is getting word out (Bessie chops vegetables while talking to Joey the old-fashioned way. and Bodie) Andie: (on the telephone) Okay, well if you don’t Joey: Bessie, it was probably just a stupid little come then you can forget about me participating prank and I wouldn’t be surprised if Matt Caulfield when it comes to putting all those little names and did it himself. faces together in the yearbook, okay? Great. (She Bodie: Bess, relax, I’m sure its no big deal. hangs up) Personal touch is always nice when it Bessie: What if it wasn’t a prank? We can’t afford comes to blackmail. (the phone rings) Oh! Hello? to antagonize the people who hold the mortgage Hello? No, oh hold on one second. Bessie! on this house. Or at least Bodie and I can’t, we’ll Bessie: Yeah? still be living here when you go to college. Andie: For you. (hands her the phone) Joey: So I’m just supposed to sit around and wait Jack: (comes up to Joey with a laptop) Joey, we patiently until I get out of this town? I’m not designed a new flyer, for your approval of course. allowed to criticize it or even try to change it in any Joey: (nods) Great. way? Jack: (smiles) Good, because I already ordered Bessie: I didn’t say that. 500 copies. Joey: Look, I can’t stop now, Bessie. Is that what Joey: How are we gonna pay for that? you want me to do? Jack: We’re not, actually. Pacey managed to Bodie: Jo, Jo, Jo, no ones’ asking you to stop. I convince a civil minded copy shop owner to run think Bessie just wants you to be realistic about them for free. the situation. Joey: He did? Joey: I am being realistic! Jack: Yup. Bessie: Spending a lot of time and effort Jen: Yes. He did. defending a man who won’t even defend himself? Joey: Okay. Okay, attention everyone! Look, I How is that realistic? know you’re all working very hard and we’re only Joey: He shouldn’t have to defend himself, he 20 people right now, but by tomorrow night we didn’t do anything wrong! have to be 200 at least, so keep up the hard work. Bessie: And you’re sure of that? You sure this kid We’ve got many miles to go before we can sleep. doesn’t deserve another chance? Great job. Joey: Of course I am! Everyone at school knows (applause) that Capeside High is a much better place without AJ: Are you sure you’ve never done this before? Matt Caulfield. The students know it and the Joey: Yeah, and I can’t believe I’m doing it now. teachers know it. AJ: Well believe it, cuz it’s happening. Bessie: So all these parents that are so up in Joey: Thanks to you. I mean, you’re the one that arms, they’re just wrong? convinced me to do it in the first place, came all Joey: Yes! You weren’t at that meeting, you don’t the way down here. I couldn’t have done it without know what Mr. Caulfield said, okay? He’s got his you. own personal agenda and I’m not just talking about saving his son’s ass. 145 Bessie: What do you mean? Jen: Only if we pretend to have a conversation Bodie: She means all these concerned citizens about it. wouldn’t be fighting this decision so hard if Pacey: You really wanna make me do that? Principal Green were white. Okay. Okay, um, let’s just say for the sake of Bessie: (stubbornly) They would still be upset. argument that I had gotten myself into an Bodie: Upset, yeah. And they might try and take impossible situation. That I had, hypothetically action about it, but not like this. There wouldn’t be speaking, fallen for, or was in the process of this level of anger and hostility and falling for, the worst possible person that I could misunderstanding and they certainly wouldn’t try ever fall for. What would you tell me to do? and threaten the family of some teenage girl trying Jen: I guess I would tell you that impossible to speak her mind. situations are only made better by doing Bessie: I give up. Joey you want to change the something about them. world from our living room, fine. Whatever. Pacey: So I should just go and declare myself to (Bessie exits in a huff. AJ enters looking penitent her so that she can laugh in my face? That’s a and Bodie exits) great idea. AJ: Sorry. Jen: How do you know that’s how she’d react? Joey: It’s okay. I’m glad you’re not a paying guest, Pacey: Well, I have it on pretty good authority that this scene would have been even more heinously my rough charms don’t really register on her awkward. rarified romantic palate. I mean, let’s face it. I’ve AJ: Look, this is probably not the best time to say got Duckie written all over me. this but, uh— Jen: Duckie? Joey: You’re leaving? Pacey: Yeah, Duckie. Molly Ringwald’s best AJ: Yeah. I figured since I’ve alienated you from friend from Pretty In Pink. The guy who definitely your sister and completely undermined the does not get the girl. financial liability of your family business, my work Jen: Yes, but he makes the girl feel good about here is done. herself. He does, he stands by her through Joey: You can’t leave, I mean we just started! I innumerable fashion emergencies, he even could give you another room maybe, something humiliates himself by lip-synching in a public without nautical wallpaper. place, and he takes her to the prom. AJ: No, I’ve gotta go. I’ve got papers to write, Pacey: Where she promptly dumps him for actually papers to grade. Listen, Jo, you think you another guy. need me, but you don’t. You’re surrounded by a Jen: Alright, the question is, Pace, this girl that lot of people who believe in you, good people, you have developed impossible feelings for, are smart people. I mean, Pacey turned out to be not you going to stand by her in a very Duckie-like such a bad guy. fashion, or are you going to let hurt feelings and Joey: What gave you that idea? pride prevent you from being the friend that you AJ: I’m an excellent judge of character. I found so innocently purport yourself to be? you, didn’t I? Pacey: (staples a poster and sighs) I guess it just (Joey shrugs) hurts, that’s all. [Docks at night] Jen: Well that just means that it isn’t pretend (Pacey furiously staples a flier onto a pole. Jen anymore. comes from behind him) [Outside Superintendent Fielding’s Office] Jen: Pacey? I think you got that one covered. A (Dawson and Gale sit waiting for an interview) hurricane won’t take it down. You know, it might Dawson: Mom, why are we doing this? If Green make you feel better if you talk about it. won’t talk, why are we interviewing Fielding? Pacey: Talk about what? Gale: Because there’s two sides to every story Jen: About what’s bothering you. and it’s not our job to editorialize. Pacey: There’s nothing bothering me. Dawson: Well I’m sorry, but it’s my editorial Jen: Oh, fine. opinion that the world’s heard enough from his Pacey: Okay, so I do kinda have a problem. side. Jen: Yeah, I noticed. Gale: Honey, if I didn’t do this interview, I’d be just Pacey: It’s that obvious, huh? like Sherry, picking the news that I want to tell. Jen: Yeah, it’s becoming so. Dawson: Well why shouldn’t you? Everyone else Pacey: So you think it would be at all possible to, does these days. I don’t know, pretend like it wasn’t that obvious? 146 Gale: No, not the best journalists. The best ones Principal Green: Nikki, can a concerned father just ask the right questions. That’s the only way ask where his daughter is going in such a hurry? that the truth can surface. Nikki: He can, but he’s not going to like the Secretary: Dr. Fielding will see you now. answer. [Superintendent Fielding’s Office] Principal Green: Joey’s rally? (Shot of Superintendent Fielding talking through Nikki: You could come with me, you know. Dawson’s camera) Principal Green: You already know my position Fielding: What we’re asking Principal Green to do on that. is not an unreasonable request. Simply readmit Nikki: I’m not sure I know your position on one student who may have caused a little trouble anything anymore. You spent so much time trying here or there. to protect how you’re seen for fear that they’re Gale: Yes, but most of Matt Caulfield’s fellow going to paint you as some angry man. students side with Principal Green on this one. Principal Green: I am angry, and why shouldn’t I Fielding: Green could offer to shorten the school be? Nikki, do you have any idea how much it hurts day by fifteen minutes, they’d follow him to know that I did the right thing and I’m doing the anywhere. right thing and because of someone’s deep- Gale: They can make a lot of noise, though. This seeded fears. it’s not working? Now I don’t want to rally, for instance? leave these kids and I don’t want to leave this Fielding: They can rally all night for all the good town and I certainly don’t want to put you through its going to do them. Howard Green has until this. So yes, I am angry. But if men like Robert Friday at three o’clock to rescind his ruling or its Caulfield see one flash of this anger, they will use going to be his last day at Capeside. it against me. Gale: It would seem to me that firing Principal Nikki: The people tonight aren’t like that. They’re Green is as extreme as him choosing to expel on your side, they support you, they’re fighting for Matt Caulfield. Now are you really sure that firing you, for us. And they need to know that, win or Principal Green is what’s best for our students? lose, you support them. Fielding: It’s what’s best for the community. (He turns back and sits down without answering Gale: Ah, and that’s who you’re responsible to, her. She leaves) the community. [Capeside High Auditorium] Fielding: Ultimately, yes. (Joey’s Rally. Dawson walks with camcorder in Gale: Could I ask you to read something for me, hand through the auditorium and sees Nikki sitting Sir? in a seat. Jen and Joey talk by the podium on the Fielding: Of course. stage.) Gale: Could you please read line-item number Jen: I’d say that Pacey did a pretty impressive job one for me, on that page? of getting the word out to the people, don’t you Fielding: (reading) I hereby to declare to, above think? all else, protect and serve the welfare of each Joey: Yeah. Speaking of Pacey, I haven’t seen or student in this district (slowing) to the best of my heard a word from him all day. ability. (Dawson smiles) What is this? Pacey: (at the podium) Testing, testing, one, two, Gale: A contract for Capeside’s Superintendent of testing, uno, dos, okay… As you can see, we’re Schools, the one which states what he’s hired to not having any technical difficulties, so I’d like to do. In fact, that’s your signature at the bottom of turn it over to the lady who’s responsible for the page, Mr. Fielding, is it not? gathering us all here tonight. Let’s give her a nice, Fielding: Yes it is. warm round of applause shall we? Miss Joey Gale: So what you’re holding is a contract which Potter. you’ve signed which states that your number one (Applause. Joey goes to the podium) priority should be to these students and their Pacey: (whispers as he walks away) Think I welfare. In fact, it doesn’t say anything about the warmed them up for you? community anywhere in that contract, Sir, correct? Joey: Well, uh, everyone’s been coming up to me Fielding: (rises and storms off) This interview is at in the last week asking me why I’m doing this, an end. even people in my family. I’ve certainly asked (Dawson pats Gale on the back) myself plenty of times. And it’s not because Matt [Principal Green’s House] Caulfield trashed my extracurricular art project (Nikki tries to sneak by her father, who’s reading and I’ve sworn eternal vengeance. It’s because in a chair) some people in our town seem to think that our 147 principal doesn’t know what’s best for us, that he’s (After the Rally. Jen approaches Pacey at the an outsider. How can he be an outsider when he’s podium) been there walking the halls of our schools with us Jen: So you did it. You rallied to a certain everyday since September. When he’s taken the someone’s side in a very Duckie-like manner. time to get to know us, to figure out our talents Pacey: Yup, mission accomplished. whether it be filmmaking or student government or Jen: How do you feel? painting, and supported and encouraged all of us Pacey: To be honest, I feel like dog meat. She who don’t even know yet what our talents are. didn’t even thank me. How can he be an outsider when he’s been there Jen: She will. One day. with us everyday, trying to make our lives better. I Pacey: How can you be so sure? thought that’s what we could do tonight: talk about Jen: Because every dog has it’s day, just ask how Principal Green has made our lives a lot Henry. better. (There’s silence in the crowd) Okay, no (Pacey watches her walk away and smiles) hands. Uh, I’m starting to feel like I’m back in Mr. (Joey and Bodie walk to the exit) Peterson’s English class. (A few hands raise) Joey: Ready to go? That’s better. Andie. Bodie: Whenever you are. Andie: Well, the two most important things that I Joey: Think she’ll let us in the house? learned from Principal Green were that mistakes Bodie: Bessie? If she doesn’t, well uh we’ll sleep and setbacks aren’t necessarily irreversible and in the car. Wanna drive? (holds out the keys) that if you can’t learn from yourself, then you can’t Joey: Stick shift? No thanks, think I’ve had learn from anybody. enough-- (She sees Bessie standing by the door Girl: And he doesn’t treat us like children, even if holding Alexander) challenges this week. we act like ‘em. Bessie: Backing down from a challenge? That Boy: He treats us with respect and listens what doesn’t sound like the Joey Potter I know. we have to say. We’ve been trying to form this Certainly wasn’t the one in front of all those committee of students who— people tonight. Nikki: I don’t know very many of you, I’m the new Joey: You saw? kid and all, but what I do know about you is what Bessie: Yeah, well Alexander here, he just my father tells me at home over dinner, while insisted on coming. See, he’s extremely proud of we’re watching TV, when we’re doing the dishes. his Aunt Joey. Because that’s what he talks about, that’s all he Joey: Really? talks about. (Principal Green walks in from behind Bessie: Oh yeah. When you’re not there, he goes her) His students, his school. (She turns to see on and on about how talented you are and how him and smiles. Joey smiles also. He comes up to smart and how brave. the stage.) Joey: On second thought, maybe I will drive us Principal Green: I had mixed feelings about home. coming here this evening, but after sitting at home [Principal Green’s office] and thinking about some of the things my (Principal Green packs a certificate into a box. daughter said earlier, it was clear that I needed to Joey knocks at the door.) come. She said, “Dad, those people are on your Principal Green: Come in. (She enters) Ah, Miss side, they’re fighting for you.” And so I wanted to Potter. You haven’t been in my office in a long come and to say thank you for your support. Now, time. You haven’t gotten yourself in trouble, I neither myself nor Dr. Fielding seem to be willing hope. to budge on this particular issue, so it looks like I’ll Joey: You know, you have a few minutes. You be leaving. (Members of the audience look around could still change your mind. in confusion) But as I look around this evening, Principal Green: Is that what you want? I’m motivated because I see a room full of people Joey: No, I-well, maybe. I- I don’t know. who have chosen to harness their inner power as Principal Green: Why is that? individuals. But regardless of the outcome of this Joey: I know that you’re doing the right thing. It’s situation, know that I thank you, all of you. Thank just that I can’t help but feel that maybe I failed you. you. We couldn’t stop them. We weren’t loud (Everyone looks upset from their seats. Pacey enough or strong enough. And I’m really sorry. looks at Joey, who looks distressed) Principal Green: Joey, look at me. Look at me. [Capeside High Auditorium] (She looks) In all my years in education, I have never felt more successful than I feel right now. 148 You understand that? (She nods) Thank you for [Streets of Capeside at Night] fighting for me. (Pacey runs along, pulling Joey behind him) Joey: (shrugs) You’re welcome. Pacey: Come on, just a little bit farther, right up Principal Green: I guess it’s time to go home. here, a couple more steps. Right there, whoa, Joey: After you. stop right there. Perfect. We’re here. (Principal Green looks around and goes out the Joey: Pacey, I don’t know where you think here door, carrying his briefcase) is, but it seems to me we’re nowhere. Joey: We’ll see ya, Mr. Green. Pacey: Think back with me for just a second. Principal Green: See ya, Joey. Remember how this whole thing started? It started (Principal Green turns the corner to find the hall with a girl, a wall, and a paintbrush. (He holds up lined with students, applauding him as he leaves. a brush) He puts his arm around Nikki, who is with them, Joey: You bought me a paintbrush ? and they exit together) Pacey: No lame-o, I stole this from your [Gale’s yet-to-be-named Restaurant] permanent collection. (He points at the wall (Gale is on the phone as Dawson enters) behind him with the brush.) Gale: Well tell everyone that I can be down there Joey: You bought me a wall? in less than an hour, okay? Okay, I’ll see you Pacey: Not bought, rented. And this thing didn’t then. (She hangs up) come cheap either, it cost me a hundred bucks. Dawson: That sounds like distinctly good news. Joey: You bought me a wall? Gale: They’re gonna run our story tonight, they Pacey: You said that already. Look, it’s a limited want me to race down now and tape an intro at time offer, so you should get cracking. the station. Joey: Pacey, did you notice the size of this thing? Dawson: Mom, that’s great! Pacey: I just thought your next endeavor should Gale: Oh, and that’s not all. One of the executive be bigger and better than your last one. It’s producers asked me if I would be interested in important that you keep on growing, both as a doing a few other special reports in the upcoming person and as an artist. I also got you this. (hands months. her a bucket of white paint) Now I know its not Dawson: That’s great! What’d you tell them? gonna cover the whole thing, but as the saying Gale: I told them I’d get back to them in about goes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with twenty years when I retire from the restaurant a single step. business. Joey: Well, I’m going to need your help on this Dawson: You’re kidding. I thought this was what one. you wanted. Pacey: No, no, no, not this time. You’re on your Gale: No, I think what I wanted was just my own, Sister. chance to say no, to leave on my own terms, start Joey: (laughs) Pacey, you’re unbelievable. I fresh with no regrets. And I can do that now mean, as soon as I think I’ve got you all figured because of you. out, you go and do something so outrageous that Dawson: What did I do, Mom? completely challenges me in a way that no one Gale: What you always do, Honey. You inspired else would even think of that… (sighs) In case I me the way you inspire everybody. You see, as don’t say it enough, thank you. much as you think you’ve changed, Dawson, Pacey: (smiles) It’s about time, Potter. (He walks you’re still the quiet hero, stepping in at the right off) It’s about time. time, lending your efforts, never asking for a (Joey looks up at the wall, almost a little reward in return. You’re smart and capable and frightened. The camera pulls back and we see sincere. how very small she looks in comparison to it- Dawson: I think you’re editorializing. Ending credits) (She laughs, hugs him, gives him a quick kiss and leaves)

149 Cinderella Story

[Pacey’s car] Joey: (tosses her head) Sometimes wishes come (Pacey is driving while Joey sits in the passenger true. seat) Pacey: Yes, sometimes wishes do come true, Joey: (happily) You know, you never know how sometimes even in unexpected places. But reality things are gonna turn out. always finds a way of creeping back in, Jo. Clock Pacey: Very true, Potter. inevitably strikes midnight and then it’s pumpkin Joey: I mean, who would’ve thought that I’d city, the fantasy fades. actually be able to use those dance lessons? Joey: (walks away) Try to have a good weekend, Pacey: There’s gonna be dancing at this thing? Pacey. Thanks for the ride. (He takes a flier from her) Pacey: Have a good time. Joey: Yeah. (She waves goodbye without looking back at him, Pacey: I thought you said it was just self- obviously annoyed. Pacey looks regretful) congratulatory award giving. [Gale’s Yet-To-Be-Named Restaurant) Joey: This is a big deal! AJ’s going to be reading (Dawson looks over some papers. Gale enters his work in front of several very important alumni. carrying a tray.) He’s the youngest person in his department to win Gale: We could have a winner here. the- Dawson: I really hope you’re right. Pacey: (reads) Creating Viting Award? (he holds Gale: What, just because my restaurant opens in up the paper) less than a week and I haven’t found a chef? Joey: (taking it from him) Creative writing. Dawson: Or waiters or menus. Pacey: Yeah, I’ll say. Gale: What, the menus still haven’t arrived from Joey: (annoyed) It’s calligraphy. the printers? Pacey: It’s pretentious. (pauses) You know what, Dawson: No, we sent them back yesterday, don’t mind me. Just have a good time this remember? We said twenty-two hundred dollars weekend. was a little pricey for scampi. Joey: I will. (wistfully) I mean this could be the Gale: Right, um you just keep screening most romantic night of my life. I mean, its not applicants for my wait staff. (She stirs her spoon in every day that I get invited to elegant dinners with the bowl) Hopefully we have found our kitchen distinguished guests, accompanied by a friend talent. The chowder smells amazing. (Both of who them take a bite and grimace.) What do you think? Pacey: Friend? Is that what you and AJ are? Dawson: Look, I don’t know fine food, but I know Joey: (starting to explain) Well I… AJ and I are… enough to tell you that this sucks. (gets upset) It’s really none of your business what Gale: Are you sure that we don’t want to just steal AJ and I are. Bodie from the Potters? Pacey: AJ and you are friends who kiss. Dawson: Not unless we decide that Bessie and Joey: (exasperated, throws her head back on the Alexander don’t need a home, and I don’t need seat) Pacey, look. Long-distance relationships Joey as a friend. don’t necessarily follow the same rules and Gale: Chowder isn’t easy to master. Here, try his definitions as regular relationships. breaded monkfish, it looks great. I’ve got to go off Pacey: No they don’t, and that’s why they’re to the printer. Oh and Honey, don’t worry. perfect for you. Cuz they’re not real. Everything’s gonna be fine. (She gives him a kiss Joey: What is that supposed to mean? and leaves. Dawson shakes his head. Andie and (Pacey parks the car and he and Joey get out) Jack enter behind him. Jack holds a large sign in Pacey: Don’t you see? (he gets her bag from the his hands.) trunk) Little scrubber girl gets to put on a pretty Andie: Hey. dress and go to the ball with college Prince Dawson: Hey. Thanks so much for picking up the Charming. That’s not real. It’s a fairy tale. sign, I really appreciate it. Joey: Say what you will, but fairy tale or not, I still Jack: Yeah, well unfortunately this may feel what I feel, Pacey. exacerbate the insanity. (Jack holds it up to show Pacey: All I’m saying is all you have here is an there’s nothing written on it.) eyes-closed wish. Andie: Unless of course you want to keep the place a secret.

150 Dawson: What happened? [Boston Train Station] Jack: Well, the guy told your mom he had to have (Joey looks around, looking lost. She sees a sign a name by today, he’s already got another job. that says “Potter, Joseph.” She smiles and waves. Dawson: I thought it was The Fish Bistro. The crowd parts to reveal Morgan, a tall, beautiful Andie: Dawson, a woman has the right to change blonde. Joey’s face falls.) her mind. Joey: Hi, um, I’m Joey Potter. Dawson: Not this late in the game. Morgan: Of course you are. Andie: Well, uh, okay so the restaurant could be Joey: And you are? like one of those hip no-name clubs, you know, Morgan: I’m Morgan. I am AJ’s oldest friend. too cool to have a name. Joey: Oh. Where’s AJ? Foreign Man: Excuse, please. I look for Morgan: The jumpy boy is still trying to decide on restaurant of fish, I am trying out for chowder what to read for tomorrow night. menu. Joey: (laughing hesitantly) Why do I feel like I fell Dawson: You guys hungry? asleep on the train and suddenly woke up the Capeside Mentor Center protagonist in a Kafka story? (Pacey and a Woman walk down a staircase) Morgan: Well, there’s the wit, just like he said. Pacey: So who is this kid worthy of being a Witter Joey: The wit? mentee? Morgan: The famous Potter wit. He’s told me all Woman: Someone your school administration and about you: artist, political agitator, and size 8 foot. I thought would be appropriate. (She holds up some rollerblades) Put these on, Pacey: How exactly do you guys go about making we’re gonna go blading. that determination? Joey: (hesitating) Thanks. Woman: You’ll see. If there are any problems, I [Arcade] (Buzz and Pacey walk through the can always assign you to someone else. arcade) Pacey: I think I’ll probably be able to handle a Buzz: Is this the fun part? Is this the part where nine-year old, thanks. we’re having fun, or did I blink and miss it? (The Woman opens the door to reveal Buzz sitting Pacey: You know, you got me, man. I don’t want on the floor.) to be here anymore than you do, I got stuck with Woman: Buzz Thompson, meet Pacey Witter. you, but this still doesn’t have to be so horrible. Pacey: Hey, how you doing, kid? (He reaches Buzz: Here comes the honesty, next is the down to shake Buzz’s hand) intimacy. Buzz: How old are you? Pacey: What exactly do you want? Pacey: Sixteen, how old are you? Buzz: Let me make this easy for you, read my Buzz: You have a five o’clock shadow. lips, Pikachu! Pacey: Well, I’m mature. Pacey: You want something that has to be treated Buzz: Is that what you call it? with antibiotics? Pacey: (bends down) I get it, you’re a smart-ass. Buzz: Man, your generation is so out of it! (He sits) That’s why they put us together, people Pokemon, you putz! think I’m a smart-ass, too. Pacey: (defensively) I knew that. Buzz: (sarcastically) But when they really get to Buzz: I got Alakazam through Medopod, but I’m in know you, they discover under the gruff exterior serious need of Apollyra. There’s a vendor right lies a vulnerable, beating heart. over there. (He points) (Pacey laughs bashfully) Pacey: You’ve got to be kidding me, man. There’s Buzz: Get real! I’m not like one of those kids on no way I’m spending twenty bucks on a Japanese 7th Heaven, and I’m not like you, Pissy. trading card. Pacey: (trying to be patient) Pacey. Buzz: You have a serious problem with anger. I Buzz: Whatever, Pissy. hope the Capeside Mentoring Program knows Pacey: (getting more angry) Pacey, and you don’t who I’m dealing with here. know anything about me, kid. Pacey: (kneels) Okay, if I buy you the stupid card, Buzz: I know you think you don’t want to be here, would you shut up for two seconds, please? but you’re just dying to throw your arm around me Buzz: Mm-hmm. and have a warm and fuzzy. Well don’t bother, Pacey: Okay. (He gives Buzz some tokens) Here, ‘cause you’re going to be back here trying to get take these. Go whack some moles and stay out of rid of me. I give you 48 hours, kid! trouble while I’m gone. (Pacey looks back at the Woman who smiles) Buzz: Whatever, Pissy. 151 (Pacey mutters to himself under his breath. He though she studied there for four months. Come comes back a moment later to see a bunch of kids on! I learned that my first lesson in French Class!!) yelling and Buzz hitting them with the mallet.) Joey: I’ve always wanted to study in Paris. Pacey: Hey, hey, hey, what the hell’s going on Morgan: pleutage a tu de ser est publice over here? What are you doing? (Transcriber’s note: They spoke really quickly et Kid #1: He hit me in the head with the mallet. ma Francais est tres mal) Kid #2: Put me right in the nose. AJ: ah si je peut te pege Buzz: They tried to push me out of my game! Joey: I’m sorry, my French isn’t very good. Pacey: Okay, that’s it, you’re done, no more AJ: Oh, Morgan likes to embarrass me, so I’m not decisions. (He throws Buzz over his shoulder) letting you two hang out together anymore. Buzz: Let me down! Morgan: See? Threatened. [A café in Boston] AJ: Don’t let the friendly banter fool you, Joey, we (AJ sits at a table, writing. Morgan enters and really can’t stand each other. blades over to the table.) Morgan: You know, you were all he wrote about Morgan: Hey. in his letters to me. AJ: Hey. Where’s Joey? Joey: Really. Morgan: I showed her around town just like you Morgan: I’ll bet he never tells you a thing about asked. me. Yeah, well I can see that you two need some AJ: You didn’t. You did. time together. (Joey hobbles to the doorway, teetering on her AJ: Thank you, at least you can take a hint! rollerblades.) Morgan: (rising) Joey, I’m glad that you’re here. I AJ: Joey, it’s great to see you. was beginning to think that you might be one of Joey: Hey, you too. (She goes to the table) his fantasies. AJ: How was your trip? AJ: Nope, she’s real, told ya. Joey: It was a trip. Morgan: Yeah, flesh and blood. AJ: I’m sorry I wasn’t there to meet you, but I still Joey: That’s me. Joey Potter, flesh and blood. haven’t picked a reading for tomorrow. Do you [Gale’s Restaurant] hate me? (Dawson, Jack and Andie are still tasting) Joey: (deadpan) Completely. Dawson: Here’s another one, this guy says his AJ: (smiles) Hi. (They kiss) Spanish Mackerel Quiche is world famous. Does Morgan: (disgusted) Oh good God, get a room. anybody have any idea what that is? AJ: I hope she didn’t totally wear you out. Andie: You don’t want to know. Joey: No, it was actually very informative. I had Jack: The lady who did the cod flambe, that was no idea that the Charles River ran through so my favorite. much of the city. Dawson: Yeah, she was a gem, huh? You should AJ: You took her on the Charles River circuit? see the kitchen ceiling, it’s covered in tiny burnt Morgan: She did better than you. fish bones. AJ: I’m sorry, I asked her to pick you up, not take Jack: Yeah, your mom needs some serious help, you on an endurance test. man. (Jen enters) Morgan: Oh, you’re threatened. (To Joey) He Andie: I want to know what rock these people can’t blade to save his life, and if anytime a girl have been cooking under. shows greater skill than him, he gets totally Jen: Hi, guys. threatened. Andie: Hey! AJ: What?! Jack: Hey, Jen. Joey: How long have you guys known each Dawson: Its you! I know you, you were at a rally other? right? No, or was it the hacky-sack circuit at Morgan: Pretty much since we were zygotes. Capefest? AJ: Morgan and I grew up together, same town, Jen: Very funny. I know, I’ve been a little out of same high school. circulation, spending most of my time with Henry. Joey: Same college? Andie: Ooohh. Morgan: Actually, I got bored with this geek and I Dawson: That’s understandable. I think there’s a decided to make some new friends, so I went to six-week honeymoon period you go through school last semester at Sorbonne. (Transcriber’s whenever you get into a new relationship. Note: This should be The Sorbonne, but apparently Morgan never caught on to that even 152 Jen: Well yeah, but then you wake up one day AJ: Really? you realize you’ve got the relationship, but not Joey: Yeah, I don’t think my hemoglobin is much else. transporting enough oxygen through my body. Dawson: Well, if you’re in need of sustenance, AJ: Oh, that could be a problem. (He kisses her. you’ve come to the right place. Morgan enters the room and finds them lip- Jen: Actually, I was thinking about serving said locked.) sustenance. Morgan: I was thinking-oh, I guess you guys got Dawson: Jen Lindley wants to be a waitress? that room. (She turns to leave) Jen: Yeah, I think it would be a great way for me AJ: No, wait, what were you thinking? to meet new people, I could earn enough tip Morgan: I was thinking, Arthur, go with the Nature money to occasionally take Henry out and I’m of Love piece. tired of living off of my Grams. AJ: You don’t think it’s too old? Dawson: Okay, well as you can see, my mom is Joey: Arthur? in immediate need of assistance. Morgan: They already know your new stuff they (A crash comes from the kitchen) want to know where it comes from. I say be Dawson: How soon can you start? honest and show them your roots. [AJ’s dorm room] AJ: Yeah, you’re right. Yeah, that’s a great idea. (AJ is cleaning a scrape on Joey’s knee) Morgan: (looking over at his closet) What’s up AJ: Can you believe I haven’t been able to decide with the double-breasted jacket and the rope tie? on a reading for tomorrow? It’s only the most You win one award and suddenly you turn Ralph important opportunity of my lifetime. What’s wrong Lauren on us? with me? AJ: I just want to look respectable, what’s wrong Joey: She’s pretty. with that? AJ: Who? Morgan: It’ll take a lot more than a boring jacket. Joey: Morgan. She’s really pretty and so smart. Why not just be yourself? You know, khakis, AJ: (sarcastically) Yeah, real smart. sweater, loafers. That’s you. (To Joey) Oh, and I Joey: (As he touches her knee) Ow! have something for you. (She pulls Joey out of the AJ: Sorry. room) Joey: AJ, why didn’t you tell me about her? Joey: Who’s Arthur? AJ: I don’t know, I guess we have so little time [Pacey’s boat] together, I just figure I’d concentrate on the big (Pacey takes Buzz over to the boat) things. Buzz: You can’t make me do this. Joey: And you don’t think one of your oldest Pacey: The hell I can. friends is a big enough thing for you to tell me Buzz: This is slave labor! about? Pacey: Can you do anything besides whine, kid? AJ: Yeah, but I mean how much do you talk to me Buzz: I could write letters. about your friends? Pacey: You could paint. (He demonstrates with a Joey: I guess you’re right. brush) Look, watch and learn, right? It’s up and AJ: So I’m trying to decide on something I did then down, and then up and then down, you got more recently, or maybe one of my older pieces, I it? don’t know. Buzz: Have you ever heard the expression don’t Joey: Did you two ever date? go against the grain? AJ: Joey, look, I promise you, you have nothing to Pacey: Who on earth got you to sit still long worry about. enough to teach you how to paint? Joey: Ow! Buzz: My dad. AJ: I’m sorry, damn this stuff, but I just want to Pacey: Really? Where is your dad now? make sure that no foreign elements get introduced Buzz: Somewhere in the Atlantic. into your hemoglobin, ‘cause that’s the part of the Pacey: Oh yeah? Your dad’s a sailor? blood that transports your— Buzz: No, fish food. Scattered his ashes off Joey: I know what that is. Nantucket. AJ: Sorry. You know, I know something that might Pacey: Oh. work better than this. (He bends down and kisses Buzz: Where’s yours? her knee) Is that better? (He kisses it again) Pacey: Uh, my dad, he’s probably hanging up his Joey: Well, uh, see now I’m feeling a little light holster right about now. headed. Buzz: A cop! That explains your authority issues. 153 Pacey: (sniffs) I don’t have authority issues. Joey: Really? Buzz: Issues, issues, issues. Morgan: Yeah, he’s been banned from social Pacey: I don’t have issues, okay? gatherings in over twenty states. Buzz: Look how you handled me at the arcade. Joey: (laughs) Well, I have been witness to his Pacey: You got into a fight! You’re gonna have to pasta slurping. learn that there are better ways to handle Morgan: (She imitates his slurping) Does he still confrontations like that than playing Whack-A-Kid. conjugate Latin verbs under his breath when he Buzz: (in a funny voice) Okay, mentor, how’d you gets nervous? get in this stupid program? Joey: Yes! (She imitates him) Adamo, adamas, Pacey: (looks down and says quietly) I hit a guy. adamat. Buzz: What? Morgan: He is such a mutt. Pacey: I hit a guy. Joey: Yeah, but he can kiss. Buzz: That’s it! I’m out of here! (He runs off) Morgan: Yeah, well… Pacey: (in pursuit) Hey, come back! Hey, come Joey: You don’t have to. back here! Morgan: Once. Afterwards we felt really weird Buzz: I won’t, you’ll whack me upside the head! and silly and um, well we just we know each other Pacey: You little brat. (He catches him and picks too well, and uh we have way too many fights, but him up) there is just no mystery, so um there’s absolutely Buzz: Help, help, child abuse! Let go of me, you and positively nothing there. hypocritical maniac! Joey: Do you have any plans for tomorrow night? [Morgan’s Dorm Room] Morgan: Actually, one of my favorite activities. I’m (Joey sits on Morgan’s bed while she goes gonna get the early Sunday times and just— through drawers) Joey: Come with us. Morgan: His father’s name is Arthur, so they Morgan: That’s your thing. named him Arthur Jr. That’s what the AJ stands Joey: No, you’re AJ’s oldest friend, you should be for. there. Joey: I can’t believe he never told me. Morgan: Yeah, but you’re his girlfriend. Morgan: You would’ve gotten it eventually. Joey: Isn’t it possible for the both of us to be a Joey: Who’s that? (She points at a picture) part of AJ’s life? Morgan: A friend. Morgan: You’re alright, Joey Potter. Joey: He’s gorgeous. Wow, these drawings are [Gale’s Restaurant] incredible! I can’t believe that people just draw (Jack and Andie stand up to leave) these on the sidewalk. Dawson: Hey, you guys are leaving already? Morgan: Actually, sidewalk chalk drawings are a Andie: Ach, Dawson, I’ve eaten so much in the classic Parisian tradition. last few hours, I just can’t be objective. (They both look at the pictures on Morgan’s wall) Dawson: Are you sure you want to say that? I’ve Joey: Yeah, but who does this kind of work? got a good feeling about the guy who’s back there Morgan: Me, um that one took me three days. now. People just respectfully walked around while I Jack: (as he and Andie put on their coats) Yeah, worked. This semester, I’m studying photography. well I can still be objective. If this guy is half as I guess I was wanting something more substantial bad as the dozen before him— in my life. Here, take this. (Morgan hands her a Dawson: H says that his salm— coat.) Andie: No, no, no, don’t even mention anything Joey: It’s beautiful. that comes from the sea. Morgan: Yeah, well he may chicken out and not (Jen enters and drops a tray, spilling its contents even show up tomorrow night. You know, all over the floor.) sometimes you really have to kick his butt. (She Andie: Oh, thank you. sits on the floor) I mean, once I gave him some Jen: I promise to stop doing this before you guys thick, gray crane paper, told him he had to fill it up open. with words before he talked to me, and he didn’t Dawson: Don’t worry about it. talk to me for two weeks. Gale: (enters from the kitchen) Is everything Joey: Wow, there are so many things about him okay? Oh God, what happened? that I’m learning every day. Mitch: (from off camera) Your wait staff is just Morgan: Did you know that he likes to eat all the experiencing the difficulties of proper serving. peanuts out of Chex Mix? Gale: Hi. 154 Mitch: (helping her pick up her mess) Jen, I’d be Pacey: Well maybe tomorrow I just won’t show happy to demonstrate the standard way of up. carrying a stack. Buzz: Make my day, loser. Jen: Oh, thank you, God. [AJ’s Banquet] Gale: Well, thanks for the offer, but I think we’ve (AJ, Joey and Morgan sit together at a table, got it covered. dressed up) Mitch: Well, okay then, what can I do? AJ: What am I doing here? I mean, I had a good Gale: What do you mean? life, good friends, modest but promising little future Mitch: Well, I’m here, reporting for work as teaching at a junior college in a pleasant suburban requested. town. Gale: Who requested that you come to work? Woman at the podium: At this time, it is my (Mitch looks at Dawson, Dawson looks at Gale, honor to introduce the young man who made this Gale looks mad) institution so proud. Tonight he will share with us [Pacey’s boat] his imaginative mind and distinct voice. (Buzz is up on the boat doing work while Pacey AJ: (to Joey) There’s still time, you wanna make a looks on from the ground) break for the back door with me? Buzz: You know, you can’t keep treating me this Woman: AJ, come up here and share with us. way. There are laws, you have to feed me. Joey: Too late. Pacey: Here. (handing him a hot dog) (The audience applauds as AJ rises and goes to Buzz: Wieners?! the front) Pacey: It’s all beef. AJ: Greetings. Tonight, I’m reminded of FDR’s Buzz: Want to know what part of the beef? immortal words: the only thing we have to fear is Pacey: Come here. (Pacey picks him up and puts fear itself. Of course, FDR never stood up here. him on the ground) (The audience laughs. AJ begins to read) A silent Buzz: When are you taking me home? My dream. It had always seemed like a silent dream mother’s cooking me meatloaf and mashed to her, the many meaningless passings in the potatoes tonight. hallway, the sense of disconnection from those Pacey: You want to wait for meatloaf and mashed she supposedly knew so well. But when she met potatoes, wait. him, the boy she’d already known all her life, she Buzz: Who’s the girl? realized that love unspoken was the loudest Pacey: What girl? sound of all, and she awoke. (Aj looks at Morgan Buzz: The one you named your boat after. who smiles. Joey looks nervous.) Her name was Pacey: True Love isn’t a person, it’s an idea, an Mary, and more than anything she loved to read unattainable idea. the times on Saturday night. Mary dated Buzz: Who’s the unattainable girl? frequently, and sadly found the time spent alone Pacey: Man, you just love getting under my skin, as merely shelter from the rain. It seemed no one don’t you? else noticed the dawn of her heart. I fell into her Buzz: Have you kissed her? and awoke by the radiance she gave me. Her Pacey: I told you, there’s no girl. silent dreams gave me courage, her dances my Buzz: Why didn’t you just kiss her? feeling, her smile- Pacey: And why don’t you just shut your mouth? (Morgan continues to beam proudly while Joey Buzz: He has no problem taking a swing at a guy, squirms in her seat) but he can’t tell a girl how you feel about her. [Capeside Mentor Center] Man, you’re pathetic. (The Mentor Woman sits behind a desk, facing Pacey: You wanna go home? Pacey) Buzz: You’re bluffing. You need me to finish your Pacey: The kid hates me. boat. Woman: Don’t take it personally, he’s been Pacey: I don’t need you, let’s go. (heading through four mentors in the last year. towards the car) Pacey: And you’ve been expecting this Buzz: Bluffing coward. conversation? Pacey: (getting in the car) Let’s go. Woman: I had hoped not to have it with you, but Buzz: Fine, but tomorrow you’d better find I’m not surprised. His mother works all hours and something creative for me to do, because I’m not the program really isn’t designed to be a cheap working on your pitiful raft anymore. baby-sitting service.

155 Pacey: I’ve tried to do more with that kid than just [Streets of Boston] baby-sit him. (Joey, AJ and Morgan walk home. Joey carries Woman: He has the highest IQ in his class, but her shoes in her hand) he’s constantly failing. He can’t seem to finish AJ: Can you believe the pinshon look alike gave anything he starts. me a bottle of dom? Pacey: Guess that thing with his father really Morgan: It’s definitely your night. (to Joey) You screwed him up, huh? have no idea how lucky it is you broke your heel. Woman: Wouldn’t it screw you up if your father The guy can’t dance to save his life. ran off with a young woman? (They all stop at the corner and look around) Pacey: Ran off? AJ: Well, here we are… Woman: Started a whole new family. Joey: Here we are… Pacey: In Nantucket. Morgan: Have you guys thought about heading Woman: Mm-hmm. That’s why he behaves the down to the arboretum? I bet its amazing down way he does, he feels rejected. there tonight Pacey: Well I know that feeling. Joey: (to AJ)I want to go back to your room. Woman: So he tests the people in his life just to AJ: (smiling) Okay. (Transcriber’s Note: I guess see if they’ll come back to him. Well if you like, we AJ thinks he’s getting lucky. He smiled pretty big) can reassign you immediately. Morgan: Good, I’ll have the arboretum all to Pacey: Reassign? You thought I came in here myself. Catch you kids later. because I couldn’t handle the kid? I don’t know Joey: This is yours. (She takes off the coat and what kind of problem those other four guys had, hands it to her) Thank you, Morgan. but there’s not a kid on earth Pacey Witter can’t Morgan: You’re welcome. handle. The only reason I came in here was to (Morgan walks away and AJ and Joey exchange a ask you if I could pick him up early tomorrow. look and take hands) Woman: Sure, I think we could arrange that. [AJ’s Dorm] [Gale’s Restaurant] (AJ and Joey walk down the hall towards his (Dawson comes out of the kitchen. He doesn’t see room) Gale standing behind him) AJ: What’s the matter? Gale: I’m really angry with you, Dawson. You had Joey: You tell me. You’re feeling guilty right now, no business telling your father that I needed help. aren’t you? Dawson: Mom, you do! AJ: Guilty? No. I don’t like the idea of Morgan Gale: Where did you get a ridiculous idea like hanging out by herself at night, that’s all. that? Joey: Go join her. I want to go back to your room Dawson: Ridiculous? You mean like the state this alone. place is in right now? Mom, you open in less than AJ: What? a week, I can’t do it all! Joey: Tonight is one of the most memorable Gale: I only ask you to screen applicants for my experiences of your life, AJ, and you should share wait staff, oversee some tastings! it with Morgan. Dawson: Yeah, things I know nothing about. AJ: I don’t understand. Gale: Well, bringing in my ex-husband certainly Joey: You’ve got to be the thickest Mensa isn’t the solution. member around. AJ, Morgan is your muse. Dawson: Okay, Mom, you and Dad had made it AJ: No, Joey, she’s just my friend, that’s all. very clear how much you want to be a part of each Joey: No, she’s more than just a friend. She picks other’s lives. I thought I was confused before. out paper for you and she encourages you to write Gale: Dawson, do you want people to tell you how and she demands that you be yourself and she to direct your movies? No, you need people to act does this in such a selfless way that you can’t in them, light them, take direction. This is my even begin to comprehend and— career now, Dawson. God, I thought of all people AJ: Wait, wait, wait, did she tell you something? you would understand that! Did she say that she wants more than friendship? Dawson: Well, excuse me for not wanting to see Joey: No. you fail, Mom! You know, if there’s one thing that AJ: Then where is this coming from? you’ve taught me, it’s that you should never be Joey: I know what its like to, to harbor feelings for ashamed to ask for help, right? I don’t understand somebody that you deny, and I know how horrible why you can’t take your own advice. it is to realize those feelings way too late. And this (Dawson walks away. Gale looks upset) 156 is coming from my own experience, my own life, Pacey: What do you know about making meatloaf which honestly you know very little about. and mashed potatoes? AJ: Well God, Joey, give me a chance! Let me get [Buzz’s kitchen] to know more about you, isn’t that the fun part? (Pacey stirs the meat in a bowl with a wooden Joey: Yes, it’s fun and it’s romantic and exciting spoon while Buzz watches) and unbelievable, but it’s not real. Buzz: You have to work it with your hands. AJ: Well then, let’s make it real. (Pacey gives him a look, then does as he’s told) Joey: See, you already have something that is Pacey: Like this? real, and Morgan has just recently realized it, why Buzz: You’re getting the hang of it. do you think she came back from France? Can’t Pacey: It’s a good thing your Mom had to work you hear it, too? late tonight, huh? AJ: Hear what? Buzz: Yeah. And so you know, my Father’s not Joey: The loudest sound of all, love unspoken. entirely dead. The feelings between you and Morgan. (Pacey nods, Buzz sighs) AJ: Joey, you’re reading way too much into this. Pacey: Her name’s Joey. Joey: Am I? Buzz: (smiling) Is she a hottie? AJ: Yes. Pacey: I’m not answering that. Joey: AJ, then why the look? Buzz: Come on, I’m nine, I have years before I AJ: What look? What are you talking about? get there. The least you can do is cough up a Joey: In the reading, you paused and you looked description. at her. Pacey: Okay. (leans in) She’s so beautiful that AJ: I don’t know, I was reading something and, every time you look at her, your knees tremble, okay, I guess it made me think of her. your heart just melts and you know right then and Joey: It’s because it’s about her. there, without any reservation, that there is order AJ: No, it’s a made-up character, Joey. and meaning to the universe. Joey: No. AJ, I want you to go to her, and I want Buzz: She’s a hottie. you to look into her eyes, and look deep and see Pacey: She is. just how made-up that character is. Buzz: Where is she? AJ: Is that what you really want? Pacey: Right now? She is probably out having the Joey: Yes. time of her life… AJ: So that’s it? I mean, what about us. [Boston Train Station] Joey: This is something that I’m gonna remember (Joey walks in, goes to the screen with the for the rest of my life, but see, us is a memory and schedule. The next train to Capeside leaves at you and Morgan, a reality. 9am. Her face falls, she looks around at some AJ: I used to think a broken heart was just people on the bench. Then she takes a long look hyperbole. Now I know the truth. at the phone, goes up to it, looks at her watch, Joey: AJ, there are worse things than a broken gets some change from her pocket and begins to heart. Like the love that you don’t explore. dial. She lets out a long, deep breath) AJ: Guess I’ll see you around, Potter comma [Docks] Joseph. (Jen walks up to Dawson who’s looking out over (Joey nods and gives him a kiss on the cheek. He the water) looks at her a long time then walks off dejectedly.) Jen: Looks like you’ve been out here for a while. [Buzz’s Front Door] I’ll bet you could use a friend. (Pacey knocks, a bag of groceries in his hands. Dawson: For someone who’s been so wrapped Buzz opens the door, then tries to close it again. up in her own little world, you’re pretty perceptive. Pacey stops him) Jen: Well, that’s just the kind of girl I am, Buzz: I gave back ? (Sorry, couldn’t tell what he thoughtful, empathetic, and I can see pretty much was saying) everything that happens out here from the Pacey: I just wanted to come by and tell you Restaurant. something about your work on the boat. Dawson: So you heard the fight I had with my Buzz: Yeah? Mom? Pacey: Yeah, it ain’t half bad, kid. Jen: Yeah, and then I caught a mini-version of her Buzz: Yeah, if you pay attention, I’ll teach you a wrath myself…just after I broke a few more plates. thing or two. Dawson: I think the pressure of the Restaurant has finally gotten to her. I mean, you saw, all I was 157 trying to do was help her out and she completely Dawson: Good morning. I came here to apologize unloaded on me. for undercutting your authority around here, and Jen: I think you were trying to do a little more than offer my services, but it looks like you’re doing just just help her. You’re trying to help yourself, too. fine without me. Dawson: Help myself? (Gale hands him a mug. He takes a drink) Jen: You’re trying to put your family back Dawson: This coffee tastes like Clam Chowder. together, Dawson. Gale: Oh, that’s good. Dawson: No, I’m not. Jen, come on, you saw how Dawson: (takes another drink, with surprise) That angry I was at the B&B when they tried to pose as is good. husband and wife. Gale: Uh-huh! Jen: Exactly, because that was a façade, a lie. Of Dawson: This is not the place I left last night. course that upset you. What’s going on in the Gale: Oh, you mean you weren’t at Leery’s Fresh Restaurant is real. Fish? Dawson: No, what’s going on in the Restaurant is Dawson: I thought Leery’s Fresh Fish was— chaos. Mitch: (off-camera) It’s her name, too, Dawson. Jen: We invariably return to what we know, (Mitch stands beside Gale) Dawson, what’s in our bones. Your family, it’s in Dawson: Okay, so what’s going on? your bones. Gale: You know, you were right about what you Dawson: Yeah, but I know that they’re not getting said, Honey, I do need a partner and I was just back together, so what am I doing? too proud to admit it. Jen: (looks into the distance and points) I Mitch: Don’t be so hard on yourself. Running a remember a couple of years ago, at that spot right restaurant takes many talents, you’ve got the most over there, you asked me to dance and you said important one already, you know how to delegate. that you wanted to be my boy adventure. Dawson: So you made dad a partner after all? Dawson: Did I really say that? Mitch: No, no, that would never work. She hired (Jen nods and laughs) me as a general manager. Dawson: God, I was so naïve. Gale: Hired being the operative word. Jen: And sweet and honest. On the outside, Mitch: And my first order of business was to you’re not that same naïve little boy anymore, strongly suggest she make Bodie her partner. you’ve been through too much recently. But deep Dawson: Bodie? Well, wait— down at your core, there’s always gonna be a part Gale: Yeah, he’s going to own twenty percent of of you that rejects reality and that’s eternally the business, and in return he’s going to provide hopeful and just wants his parents back together. me with all his recipes, oversee the kitchen, work [Train Station] only nights that way it won’t take him away from (Joey sits on a bench, her hand on her head. his B&B. Oh, and we’re going to have to fire Jen Pacey comes up to her) from the wait staff. Pacey: Hey. Dawson: But— (Joey looks over, then looks away and wipes her Gale: Honey, as a waitress she’s going to put me eyes) out of business in a week. Joey: Hey. Mitch: But she’d make a charming hostess. Pacey: So, what happened? Dawson: I think she would like that. Apparently, Joey: Nothing happened. (puts on her scarf and you guys work well together. coat) (Gale smiles at Mitch) Pacey: You got bored? You got homesick? He [Pacey’s car] finally ripped off his rubber mask and revealed his (Joey stares out the window, not looking at Pacey) true alien features, what? Pacey: So you ever gonna speak again? Come Joey: (sullenly) I don’t want to talk about it. (She on, Jo, say something. gets up and leaves) Joey: (angrily) What do you want me to say, Pacey: (follows her) Well, forgive me if I’m having Pacey? You were right? You were right, okay? a little trouble with the no-questions-asked part. Right, as always. Pacey Witter, the only person in [Gale’s Restaurant] my life who ever speaks the truth. (Dawson enters and looks around. All the tables Pacey: That’s not entirely accurate. are set up and everything is in perfect order. He Joey: Well, you told me what was going to sees Gale sitting in a chair at the bar) happen. Gale: Good morning. 158 Pacey: Which was what, Jo? What happened up Pacey: About me knowing you better than there? anybody else? Joey: There was another girl. Joey: Exactly what I said, Pacey, you know me, Pacey: Oh, I’m sorry, Jo. okay? In a way that nobody else besides Dawson Joey: You know, the whole time that I was ever has— watching them, I just kept thinking, this is it. This is Pacey: We’re not talking about Dawson right now, real, just like Pacey said. This is the real thing. we’re talking about me. I mean, you can’t keep on And it reminded me once again what exactly I doing this to me, Potter! don’t have. Joey: Doing what? What, so I count on you and I Pacey: You keep looking, you’ll find it. tell you secrets, and suddenly— Joey: No, I won’t, I mean, isn’t that obvious by Pacey: And you call me in the middle of the night now? I’m not meant to. to pick you up, why? Pacey: Why, because you’re sixteen and alone? Joey: Well, I’m sorry that I called, I thought that Come on. I— Joey: No, because I’m sixteen, and in my entire Pacey: I’m not mad that you called me, I just want life there have been two people who have actually to know why you called me. known me, Joey: You were the first person that I thought of, Pacey: Dawson and- This AJ guy didn’t know you, Pacey. alright? I don’t care how you felt about him, Jo, he Pacey: (urgently) What does that mean, Jo? didn’t know you cuz if he did, he never would’ve Joey: It means that, I guess it, it means that I can walked away. talk to you, and that you’re there for me— Joey: (sullenly) I was going to say you, Pacey. Pacey: Don’t you ever get tired of talking? (Pacey looks over at her. She is looking out the Joey: No! window and sighs. He sighs with frustration) Pacey: Well, I get tired of talking— Pacey: Okay. (He pulls the car over) Joey: I don’t get tired, I don’t know, I don’t— Joey: Have you totally lost it? Pacey: I don’t want to talk anymore. Pacey: No, not totally. Not yet. Joey: What are you trying to say , Pacey? (He gets out, she gets out and he nervously walks Pacey: Jo, I don’t- over to her side of the car) Joey: Why are we standing, I don’t— Pacey: (demanding) Alright, what did you mean (He cuts her off mid-sentence and kisses by that? her…and the camera pans out to the water…and Joey: By what? all the P/J fans scream in frustration)

159 Neverland

(Outside Pacey’s car on the side of the road— Joey: No. Pacey and Joey still kissing—he pulls away and a Pacey: Jo, it’s at least another six miles to your second passes before she violently pushes him house, it is freezing cold outside, and if you don’t away) get in I’m just going to do this the whole way Joey: (furiously) Are you insane?! How could you there, so would you get in, please? do that? How could you take some simple (Joey stops - she gets in and looks sullenly out declaration of friendship as an invitation to just the window) maul me, Pacey? (pushes him again) Answer me! Pacey: So I guess I’m to take it from your angry How- what were you thinking? (pushes again) silence that you’re not speaking to me any more? What?! Joey: Nope. (buckles her seatbelt) Pacey: What? I- I don’t know. God, I mean, it- it- it Pacey: Great. Great, and how long do you plan was an impulse— on keeping that up? Joey: (pushes) An impulse?! Joey: How does indefinitely sound? Pacey: Yes, an impulse! Sudden, momentary Pacey: Fine. and, believe me, fleeting. Joey: Fine. Joey: Do you have any idea the monumental Pacey: Fine. implications of that meaningless little impulse? Joey: Fine. The ripple effect that it could create on our small (Potter Kitchen - Bessie and Joey are cooking but fragile universe? breakfast - this scene goes back and forth Pacey: (softly) You’re right, Potter, forgive me for between them and Pacey, who’s with Doug eating thinking a kiss is just a kiss. breakfast in a diner) Joey: Well, it’s true. A kiss is not just a kiss. Not Bessie: Come on, I’m about to die from between you and me, and you know why. (she anticipation. pauses to wait for his response, but he doesn’t Joey: What? say anything.) Dawson, remember? I mean, he Bessie: How was it seeing AJ? And leave no factors into this little hormonal meltdown. sordid detail unturned. Pacey: (upset) Meltdown? Joey: (casually) Well, let’s see, we broke up and Joey: Yeah. then Pacey went insane and kissed me. Pacey: (incredulous) I just had a meltdown?! (Cut to Joey and Bessie) Forgive me if I don’t think that this is the worst Doug: Hey, you kissed her, good for you! tragedy in the history of humankind, that Pacey Bessie: Oh my god, oh my god! How could he do Witter in a moment of impulsive, compulsive this to you? hormone-induced insanity would have the nerve Joey: Well, technically I maybe sort of let him do it to kiss Joey Potter. And you let me do it! You did, to me, but I still blame him entirely. you let me do it. So what? Now I guess the (Cut to Doug and Pacey) universe begins to unravel. Well excuse me while Pacey: The whole thing was her fault. I mean, you I get in the car. know, she told me I’m the one she thinks about. (He walks away, she turns and watches him, then You know, me! And then she gives me this look, I walks the other way in a huff) mean what was I supposed to do? Do you know Pacey: (turning to see her walking away) Would how long I’ve been waiting for her to give me that you get in the car, Potter?! look? Joey: (turning to answer him) No! Joey: And then he gave me this look, this look (Pacey gets in the car and drives after her - he like— comes up right beside her and goes slowly, Bessie: I know the look. keeping in step with her) (Cut to Doug and Pacey) Pacey: Would you just get in the car, Potter, Doug: Look, I don’t get it. She gave you the look, please? you kissed her, it was a good kiss, so what’s the Joey: No. problem? Pacey: I didn’t even mean to do it. This is me, Pacey: Well, the hitting, punching, and rejecting, Pacey. Act first, think later. And now that I get a that might be a bit of a problem, not to mention- chance to think about it, I take it all back, okay? (cut to Joey and Pacey) So get in the car.

160 Joey: Dawson. I mean, if he found out, I mean, I Doug: Oh, grow up, little brother. Do you think don’t even want to think about what would happen she would’ve reacted so strongly if she didn’t feel if he found out. I mean, I know one thing, we could something for you too? kiss our friendship goodbye. (She pours syrup (Pacey considers this) over her pancakes) (Jack and Andie’s back porch—Jack is eating his Pacey: (He pours syrup over his pancakes) He’d breakfast as Andie comes out to join him) never speak to me again, I can’t risk that. You Andie: Oh, there was no hot water in the shower know, he’s the brother I’ve never had. today, I ran out of shampoo, and I have two tests: Doug: So what you’re saying is Joey is like a bus. French and Math. (looks at Jack) What the hell Pacey: (with his mouth full of food) No, what I’m are you so smiley about? saying is Joey’s like a girl. Jack: Ethan’s coming over this afternoon, he’s Doug: No, no, hear me out, okay? Joey is like a gonna spend the weekend. bus that can’t go below 50. Dawson is the bomb Andie: (teasingly) Hmm. Do I smell a romance a- hidden underneath that bus. And you are the brewing, big brother? brave, heroic police officer wanting to drive the Jack: Come on, it is possible for two gay males to bus to safety but can’t because of the bomb. be friends without it turning sexual, you know. (Joey and Bessie are now sitting down outside) Andie: Jack, I’m not talking about your Joey: Do you think it was more than just an orientation. I’m talking about the fact that you can’t impulse? wipe your grin off your face. Bessie: I don’t know, Joey. Jack: No, I’m serious, I’m just glad I’ve finally Joey: (annoyed) Thanks you’re a big help. found a friend that actually, you know, accepts me Bessie: I’m sorry, look I’m obviously not telling for who I am, and understands. It’s just a gigantic you what you want to hear because I honestly relief. That’s all. don’t know. You know, maybe you should talk to Andie: So, uh, what does Dad have to say about someone about it, someone who could help you all this? figure it out. Jack: Well, he’s got that business trip this Joey: Who? Dawson, Pacey, Andie? I mean, this weekend anyway, so I figured, you know, why risk is what you’re supposed to help me with. a fight? (Andie cringes) What? Bessie: I can’t shed light on this one for you, I’m Andie: Uh, Dad cancelled it. sorry Joey. Jack: (groans) You know what? So what? You (Doug and Pacey are now walking down the know, it’s- it’s a harmless situation, you know, I’m street) an adult pretty much , and if I want to have a Doug: You need to forge ahead. Things can work friend come over to the house, I can, you know, between you two if you first diffuse the bomb. and there’s not a damn thing he can say about it. Pacey, you need to tell Dawson about Joey, Mr. McPhee: (coming outside) Not a damn thing okay? Now the trick is to do it in a manner that who can say about what? makes it impossible for him to hate you. Now, Andie: Not a damn thing that congress can say to what I suggest, is that you take him to a place that the president if he decides to veto that new tax reminds him of the strong history the two of you initiative reform thingie. (Jack nods dumbly) share. A place where he’ll think about how much Mr. McPhee: (suspiciously) Okay. Bye. (He goes you really mean to him. Then you tell him. Sure, back inside) yeah, he’ll be upset. But he’ll also understand that Andie: Bye. (She gives Jack a weird look) your friendship is more important to him. In fact, (Capeside High School hallway—Jen and Henry he’ll probably respect the fact that you cared walk to his locker) enough to tell him in the first place, in which case Henry: Why are you smiling like that? he’ll tell you to go right on ahead. And you and Jen: No reason. Let me ask you something, Joey can just drive off into the sunset. Henry? Pacey: That’s your advice? Henry: Okay. Doug: And what is wrong with that advice? Jen: When exactly were you planning on telling Pacey: Nothing, there’s nothing wrong with that me that tomorrow’s your birthday? advice it’s just very thought out and un-Dougie (they reach Henry’s locker) like. However, even if your ridiculous plan was to Henry: How’d you find out? work, you left out a couple minor details, i.e, her Jen: I have my sources. And in honor of your hitting, her punching, her yelling. birth, I planned this little outing: dinner, a movie,

161 and then comes your present, which will remain a Pacey: (nervously) Great. Okay. surprise so don’t even try to get it out of me. (Jen sits with Joey and Andie) Henry: Jen, actually, I can’t. Well, not tomorrow at Joey: What’s wrong? least. Jen: Well, my boyfriend is ashamed of me and a Jen: Why not? weaselly little liar, but other than that, I’m just Henry: I have plans. peachy. Jen: You have plans on your birthday, with who? Andie: Sorry, Jen. Your other girlfriend? Joey: Me too. Henry: With my Mom. And my family. You know, Jen: Well, given the pathetic track record of my it’s a family thing, no friends. I’m sorry. love life, why would I expect any less? Jen: That’s okay. I mean, I understand that. Andie: Okay, you know what, friends? Other girls Guy: (walks by and gives Henry five) Hey, Henry, don’t have these problems like we do, and you I’ll see you at your party tomorrow, man. Can’t want to know why? Because they actually hang wait! out together. Jen: (incredulously) You’re having a birthday Jen: What do you mean? party and you didn’t invite me? Andie: I mean, this mood of yours is in clear need Henry: Okay, just let me explain, okay? of a little oestrogen energy boost. Not to mention Jen: Oh, I can’t think of one thing you would the fact that there’s this mysterious black cloud possibly say right now that would dig you out of hanging over Joey’s head. So, I think this calls for the Grand Canyon sized hole you are in. While a girls’ night out. you frantically search for a shell, I’m going to Joey: (sceptically) Girls night out? class. Andie: Yeah. Okay, don’t you guys think it’s a (Cafeteria—Joey gets her tray - she looks up and little abnormal that the two of you never hang out sees Pacey sit with Dawson - she stops and looks with anybody that doesn’t have a penis? You’d be around for somewhere else) surprised at how powerful female bonding can be. Dawson: I can’t believe- look at this. Look what Haven’t you ever seen Thelma and Louise? they’re doing. (hands Pacey newspaper) Joey: Andie, they killed somebody. Pacey: (reading) Construction to begin next week Jen: Yeah, and- and then they drove off a cliff. on phase three of Capewoods Condominiums. Andie: Yeah, but the point is they did it together, And? solidarity. I mean, in this cold, cruel world, a girl Dawson: And Pacey, they’re gonna bulldoze our can rely on one thing - her sisters. I need a little woods, our fort. That’s where we did all our pre- female bonding, and so do you. So what do you adolescent male bonding. say? Pacey: Yeah, our first furtive glance at a Playboy, Jen: (She sees Henry walk in) You know what, you watching me take my first sips of stolen beer. I’m in. Dawson: We should- we should protest, you Andie: Yay, Jen. know? We should handcuff ourselves to the fort or (They both stare at Joey) something. Joey: (shakes her head) Yeah. I’m- alright, I’m in. (Joey at a table with Andie) Andie: (excitedly) Yay, okay you’re not going to Andie: You seem a little, I don’t know, weird or regret it. something. (McPhee residence—the doorbell rings - when Joey: No, I’m fine. (She looks at Dawson) Jack answers he sees Ethan) Andie: Oh. So, how was your weekend? Anything Ethan: Hey. interesting happen? Jack: Hey Joey: Um... Ethan: Jack. (Pacey and Dawson’s table) (They hug) Pacey: You know what we should do? We should Jack: What’s up, man? go camping, you and I, give the old fort one last Ethan: Yeah, it’s good to see you, man. hurrah. Jack: You, too. Dawson: Really? (A door slams, they look over - it’s Mr. McPhee Pacey: Yeah, you know, I mean this could be our getting out of the car) last chance, man, Pacey and Dawson paying Jack: Dad. You’re home early. homage to their swiftly disappearing childhood. Mr. McPhee: Can I see you for a minute? Dawson: That’s a really good idea. Let’s do it. (Jack walks over to him) Let’s go camping. Mr. McPhee: What’s the meaning of this? 162 Jack: No meaning, he- he’s a friend. Pacey: Buzz, I can’t, this is a no-kids trip. It’s just Mr. McPhee: If you had just asked my permission, me and Dawson. But next time, you and me, you would’ve saved yourself the embarrassment camping, I promise. How does that sound? Huh? of having to tell that boy to go home. See you on Sunday? Jack: He just took a two-hour train ride from Buzz: (disappointed) Whatever. Bye Pacey. boarding school. I’m not telling him to go home. Pacey: (mutters) Okay. Mr. McPhee: Jack, this is not a good weekend for (Pacey walks away) guests. (Jen’s bedroom - Jen and Joey sit on the bed - Jack: This is not a good weekend for guests, or Andie is standing) this is not a good weekend for the kind of guests Andie: I’ll go first. (excitedly) Facials and that I would have? pedicures, what do you think? Mr. McPhee: That is not what I said. (Joey and Jen look at Andie, eyebrows raised) Jack: No, but you know, it’s what you mean. Andie: Great, okay, I’ll go get the stuff ready. Look, Dad, I don’t care, alright? He’s a friend, he’s Jen: So, what’s up? staying, I don’t have to justify that to you. Joey: (pauses) Not much. Mr. McPhee: Yes, but you thought you had to Jen: Really? ‘Cause Joey, if- if you’re going keep it from me, which makes it all the more clear through a particular situation right now, and you that it’s not a good idea. need somebody to talk to, somebody to shed light, Jack: Yeah dad, I thought I had to keep it from but yet who’s still uninvolved, I just wanted to let you because I knew you’d react this way. you know I’m here. Mr. McPhee: My answer is no. Joey: (looks quizzically at Jen) Do you have any Jack: Look, you know what, I don’t care what your information you’d like to share about a particular answer is because I’m not asking. When I moved situation? back home, there was a promise that- that this Jen: Look, you, me, Dawson, Pacey - it’s a real would be an open household, that I could live my incestuous little group. Now I know I’m just sitting life free of judgment. on the periphery, but it seems like there’s a whole Mr. McPhee: As long as you’re under my roof- world balance that’s definitely been shifting. Jack: Look, the only reason I’m here is because Joey: You know, what I’d like to know is, uh, how of Andie. You know what, I’m glad you came back some meaningless and impulsive scenario which here this week, because if watching me hang out was over before it began somehow became public with my friends makes you suffer, then you knowledge. And what makes you think I wanna deserve to suffer. talk about it? (Jack storms off) Jen: Joey, nothing’s public knowledge. And- and I (Pacey carries Buzz on his shoulders as they walk have no idea what particular scenario you’re around the side of Buzz’s house towards the front) referring to, but (pauses) it’s pretty clear from your Pacey: I gotta say, that was good work out there attitude that it’s not meaningless. today, Buzz. A couple more weekends like this, (Joey has her hand on her forehead) we’ll be done. All right, down you come. (takes Jen: And like I said before, if you need somebody Buzz down and puts him on a ledge) You little to talk to, to help figure things out with, I- I just monkey. Alright, slam me some skin man, that wanted to tell you that I’m here. was good work. (Joey just nods) Buzz: (grabs Pacey’s shoulder) You can’t leave (McPhee residence - Jack and Ethan are playing yet, my friends are coming over and I’ve told them chess - Mr McPhee enters the room) all about my semi-cool mentor. Mr. McPhee: So what are you guys up to? Pacey: I wish I could stay, but I’ve already made Jack: (very sarcastic) What does it look like we’re plans, little buddy. up to? Buzz: (grabs the front of Pacey’s shirt) Are you Mr. McPhee: (takes a seat) Mind if I join you? trying to give me a complex about my height? Jack: Actually, yes. Why don’t you go over to Pacey: Look, this has been a ton of fun, but I’m Jen’s with a pair of binoculars and spy on Andie already late to meet my buddy, okay? for a while? Buzz: (teasingly) Girlfriend! (Mr McPhee gets up and leaves) Pacey: No, nosy, I’m going camping with by Jack: God! You’d think he’d be a little less blatant buddy, Dawson. about watch-dogging us. I’m sorry to put you Buzz: But I wanna go camping. Why don’t you through this. take me camping? 163 Ethan: Don’t worry about it. I’ve been there and Andie: (painting Joey’s toenails) Still two and half back with my own dad. I know how to handle it. more minutes. (Pacey and Dawson on their way camping, laden Joey: This popcorn is good. (stuffs more into her with backpacks and walking along a footpath) mouth) Pacey: How the hell did we do this when we were Andie: Thanks. It was my mom’s specialty when I ten years old? was a kid. It reminds me of being a child. Don’t Dawson: We’d normally have our bags packed you ever wish you could be 10 years old again? with a bag of chips and a couple of Capri Suns. Everything was so simple and under control then. Pacey: I guess a lot’s changed since then? God, I felt so protected. Dawson: Yeah, of course. Joey: You know, I know what you mean. I mean, I Pacey: But, um, a change is good, right? I mean, miss the time when I could just climb trees and roll a change can be good? You know, sometimes around in the mud and hang out with the boys, change that seems bad, can end up being good. and it was like, we were the same. None of this (cut to Dawson and Pacey reaching their old fort) stupid man-woman stuff getting in the way, and I- Pacey: Hey, there it is, man. Our old fort. The fruit and I felt free to just be myself. of an entire summer’s labour. She’s still standin’. Jen: I never really got to be a little girl. My mom Dawson: You know, this is typical. wouldn’t let me play in the dirt, because it wasn’t Pacey: (venturing inside fort to look around) Of proper, and she wouldn’t let me dress up in her what? high heels because they were too expensive. And Dawson: Of me. I mean everything. I mean this she was not about to let me pig out - she was fort, of everything we’ve seen today I remember afraid I’d get fat. as being bigger than life. But now it’s just ordinary. Joey: All I’d wanna do is eat ice-cream. Eat ice- Maybe my whole life has been ordinary. cream, pretend to be a kid, and forget about those Pacey: (comes back out) All this over an old fort? stupid boys. We were nine years old when we built this, Jen: Oh, I know, they’re twits. Awful. Maybe it’s Dawson. What did you expect, the Taj Mahal? genetic or something, but enough is enough. Dawson: Of course not, it’s just that... I dunno, (sighs) And they lie. the reason I’ve been trying to connect with who I Joey: Mm. (points her finger) They mess with was in the past. I knew why I had this passion, your heads. and I knew who I was. Everything was simple, Jen: And the worst is when they have feelings for magical even. And now I just ... maybe I never you but they won’t even admit it. was that person, maybe I just thought I was. (Joey looks back at Jen awkwardly for a few Pacey: (breathes deeply, looking nervous) You seconds) know, it’s funny you should put it that way, Joey: You know what, I’ve decided on my activity. because what it sounds to me like it... it sounds My favourite place as a kid - the roller rink. like you’re looking for an answer, you know? And Andie: (nods) Yeah, roller skating. so am I, because just this morning I was sitting Jen: Good! I think that your activity can overlap over breakfast with Deputy Doug, of all people to with mine. ask for an answer, but, you know, so he tells me (Jen pulls out two bags and smiles - neither Joey that I should probably come to you, ‘cause you’re nor Andie can see what is inside) the one who’s gonna have the answer that I need, (McPhee residence - Jack and Ethan are about to so... (realises Dawson is looking around, listening) go out - they pass by Mr McPhee in the kitchen) Dawson: You hear that? Ethan: Uh, Mr. McPhee, would you care to join us Pacey: No, what? for dinner? (Buzz and two of his friends come riding into view) Mr. McPhee: (surprised) Well, you know, if you Buzz: Yes, we found them! boys don’t mind... I’d love that. Kid # 1: Hey, neat fort. Ethan: Great, let’s go. (All three kids dump their bikes and run into the Mr. McPhee: Well, uh, just let me get my jacket. fort - Dawson looks at Pacey who has a ‘why me?’ Jack: Okay. expression) (Mr. McPhee goes to get a jacket - Jack walks (Jen’s house - all three girls are wearing some past Ethan and gives him the evil eye) green facial cream) Ethan: What? Joey: Could we take to gook off now? (The old fort at night - Pacey walks towards Jen: Oh God, I know, I can barely move my Dawson and the boys who are sitting around a cheeks. campfire) 164 Pacey: All right, I talked with your parents, they then you just melt, like this big blob of ice-cream, said it’s okay for you to stay here tonight. even when you don’t want to. (smiles) Pacey used Three boys: Yea! to do that to me all the time. Right before he Pacey: (without any enthusiasm) Yea. I just want kissed me. It made my knees weak. you to know - a ten year old with a cell phone is (Joey just smiles guiltily) just plain wrong. Jen: Henry’s got a look like that. Does it to me Buzz: Dawson was gonna tell us a story. every time. Dawson: That’s right. That’s right, I was gonna (they all skate over to the side of the rink) tell you a story, about a very old man, he was very Andie: Okay, who wants to go again? rich and decided to build a very unusual type of Jen: Oh no, no, no. I’m gonna take a break. amusement park. Andie: Come on Jo. (she takes Joey’s hand) Buzz: With dinosaurs and they called it “Jurassic Joey: Okay. Park”. And I’ve seen it twelve times. Try again. (Andie and Joey begin to skate away) Dawson: (smiles) Okay. Um... all right, this is a Andie: Bye. story about a boy named Elliott, who thought he Joey: Bye. saw a goblin in his tool shed out back- Jen: Bye. Boy # 1: Hello? That was a movie, it was called (Jen smiles at them then turns around at the “E.T.” sound of chanting - Henry is blindfolded swinging Dawson: Okay, a great white shark? at a piñata and his family and friends are all Three boys: No! chanting “Henry, Henry” - Jen goes over to the Boy # 2: Why don’t you tell us one of your group) stories? Jen: Henry? Dawson: Okay. All right, well, this is a true story, (the chanting stops and Henry takes off the and Pacey... well, I shouldn’t tell you guys, but blindfold - he is surprised to say the least) yeah, I think he can handle it. Actually it takes Jen: (waves timidly) Hi. place in the woods we’re sitting in right now. It’s (Jen looks just as embarrassed with the costume about an old man, who actually used to live she has on) (points) in that fort right back there. (ominous (Restaurant with Jack, Ethan and Mr McPhee) music begins) It used to be his home. His name Ethan: (with admiration) A ‘57 Ford Thunderbird? was Max, which is an ordinary name, but Max is I can’t believe it, that’s my dream car. not an ordinary guy. Max is evil. And nobody Mr. McPhee: Oh, let me tell you, Ethan, it drove knows why, but he hates things that are adorable, like a dream too. Mint condition, cherry red, black or kind, or even happy. He walks around these interior, eight cylinders, three speed convertible. woods. He used to be a lumberjack, so he carries Jack, you remember that photo that year you’re this huge, bloody axe. He stalks the woods killing, mother took of the- the two of us on the bumper bunnies, birds, whatever he’d come across. But when you were just a baby? his favourite target, were nine year olds. Jack: (looking very annoyed) I guess I blocked it (Buzz looks like he’s gonna leave skiddies in his out. underwear any minute) Ethan: Why’d you get rid of it? Dawson: You okay, Buzz? Mr. McPhee: Oh, well, kids and everything... Buzz: Just keep going. “impractical”. But I loved that car - cried when I Dawson: One day, Max arrived home, to find traded it in, I mean, tears... three boys sleeping in his house. (Jack is looking increasingly pissed off with how (Roller skating rink - Andie, Jen and Joey are Ethan and his dad are getting on) skating, holding hands - they also wear Ethan: Oh, man! I can’t believe that. outrageous costumes that Jen had in the bags Jack: Me neither. earlier—satiny sleepwear, feather boas, and Mr. McPhee: I haven’t thought about that in forties-vintage hairdos and make-up) years. Jack used- used to beg me to take him for Andie: You know what? I was thinking about what rides in it. You remember that car, Jack? you said earlier, about how all guys are twits, and Jack: I think I already said no. (shrugs his I think you’re right. But, I think there’s more to it shoulders) than that, because sometimes you know when Mr. McPhee: Right. There’s a classic car museum they give you that certain look. You know, that just down the road. They stay open late on look that says you are exactly where they wanna weekends. They’ve got a 1926 Cadillac. Blow be right now, and you feel it for them too. And your mind, Ethan. 165 Ethan: Sounds great. wearing this (holds out her bright pink feather Mr. McPhee: Jack? scarf)... and- and you’re humiliated? Jack: Great. Henry: Can you blame me? I mean, look around, (Jack gives Ethan the evil eye and Ethan looks this place is fit for a six year old. I told my mom I away) would do this for the last time. How could I have (Camp site - the three boys are sound asleep - brought you? You couldn’t have possibly Pacey is digging for something next to the camp understood. fire and with some effort finally pulls free an old tin Jen: How do you know what I’ll understand unless box) you tell me? Pacey: Dawson! Hey, check it out, man. Henry: It’s been hard enough just trying to get (Dawson walks over and laughs when he sees you to stop thinking of me as a little innocent kid. what Pacey has digged up) And then what? Bring you to this? Come on. Dawson: God, I completely forgot about this. (sits Jen: Henry, how many times do I have to tell you down next to Pacey) this? Your innocence is one of the best things (Pacey open the box and Dawson takes some about you. And it- it’s helping me find the same items out) thing inside myself. You don’t have to hide who Dawson: This is (laughs)... look, a ticket stub from you are. Not from me. the first time I saw Jurassic Park, and the second Henry: So, are you saying you forgive me? and the third. Jen: I’m saying I don’t like being lied to. Pacey: That’s just sad, man. Henry: You know, I’m sorry. I understand if you Dawson: Tell me about it. never want to speak to me every again. (he skates Pacey: Hey! Check this out. (holds out a pocket off) knife) This is Deputy Doug’s pocket knife. (laughs) Jen: (sighs) So dramatic. (follows Henry) Come You know, my dad never found the evidence, but back here, Parker! he still gave me the spanking of a life time. Go (Jen skates over to Henry who is standing at the figure. side of the rink) Dawson: Oh my God, look at this. (laughs) It’s a Jen: You know, by the way, you’re- you’re picture of me and little Joey Potter. (holds it for birthday present would have been a “Born To Pacey to see) God, look how beautiful she was, Run”, mint condition, on vinyl. even then. I really had no idea. Henry: Would have been? Pacey: Well, you must have been deaf, dumb and Jen: Well, I- I- I sort of sold it back to record store, blind not to notice. and bought some angry chick music. Dawson: What’s this? (reads a piece of paper) Henry: I guess it’s the thought that counts. The Secret Code of Pacey Witter and Dawson Jen: Yeah, something like that. Leery. Do you remember this? We drew this up (Jen smiles then hooks the bright pink feather the day- scarf around Henry’s neck, drawing him to her - Pacey: (finishes) -- day became blood brothers. they kiss) Dawson: Yeah. It’s our Oath of Loyalty. This is Jen: Happy birthday, Henry. Come on. great. I can’t- I can’t believe you found this. It’s so (they go off to skate some more) weird you can just put your friendship with (Car Museum - Mr. McPhee is seated behind the somebody in a box and bury it and completely wheel of an old car) forget about it. Mr. McPhee: The beauty with the old car is- is the Pacey: (nods) Yeah. simplicity. Everything is right here. There’s nothing (Roller skating rink - Jen and Henry skate side by automatic. You have to prime- side) Jack: (puts his hand on Ethan’s shoulder) Can I Jen: Again, let me- let me assure you that this is a talk to you over here for a minute, please? pure coincidence. I’m not crashing your party and Ethan: Sure. your mom insisted that we stay, and that’s the (they walk a few metres away from Jack’s dad) only reason. So you can stop being mad. Ethan: What’s up? Henry: I’m not mad. Humiliated maybe, but not Jack: (scoffs) What’s up is that I didn’t ask for you mad. to come and visit some we can hang out with my Jen: Oh, wait a minute. Firstly you lie to me about dad, who hates me, okay? And doesn’t even try to this party, then you hurt my feelings by not inviting understand me. Who can- who can cry stupid me, and now I accidentally show up anyway tears over a car, but can’t muster up a shred of emotion for his own son. 166 (Ethan goes to say something) Jack: Actually, I’d just like to pretend it was all a Jack: No, no. He stopped being my father a long bad dream. time ago, Ethan. I don’t want to spend some Ethan: Well that would be a mistake, Jack. Look excruciating evening being reminded of that. (sits down on bed) I know you’re mad at me, but (Mr. McPhee can easily overhear Jack who has don’t be, I was just trying to help. gotten quite loud - he gets out of the car) Jack: No, I’m not mad at you, I’m just... I’m just Jack: I mean come on, this is a nightmare. mad. (Sighs and throws his hands in the air) I- I Ethan: Jack, calm down, I mean- mean, I mean tonight- tonight, he just somehow Mr. McPhee: (walks over) Boys, I’m uh, I’m gonna managed to make it look like he was the victim in head back. You- you can get home okay? this whole thing, and- and I was like some Jack: (emphatically) Yes! malicious ogre, but it’s not like that... (Jack and Mr McPhee stare at one another for a Ethan: God, Jack. Don’t you get it? You’re both moment before Mr McPhee walks past Jack - he victims here. And it’s not gonna get any better then pauses) unless you start letting go of some of that anger. Mr. McPhee: You know, I really thought things Jack: Yeah, but he’s the one who did this to me, were getting better. I was so grateful for tonight. okay? He’s the one that made me this angry. A (Jack turns and faces his dad) year, Ethan. A whole year he spends acting like Mr. McPhee: I cancelled my business trip this I’m the worst thing that ever happened to him. weekend, to spend time with you. I guess I’m just And he cancels one trip so he can- he can not the father you want. Or need. passively aggressively throw it back in my face (He walks away leaving Jack to ponder his and everything’s just supposed to magically fall father’s motives) back into place? It just doesn’t- it just doesn’t work (Camp site - Pacey and Dawson lay in their like that! sleeping bags around the fire) Ethan: (stands) Well, let me tell you how it does Dawson: Pacey, you awake? work, Jack. You keep walking around with all that Pacey: Wide awake, yes. What’s up, man? anger, you and your dad are gonna lose another Dawson: It finally occurred to me, one thing in my year. And another one. And before you know it, life hasn’t lost it’s lustre over time - my friendships. you’re gonna wake up one morning and realise You know, I might not be sure about a lot of things that you need him, or he needs you, and it’s in my life, but I’m always gonna be sure of you. gonna be too late. And Joey. (Ethan and Jack look at one another for a Pacey: Me and Joey, huh? moment) Dawson: Yeah. I mean, you- your pure loyalty, Ethan: You know, the another nice side effect of you know? You’re still the same guy who drew up letting go of your anger, is that you don’t have to that oath we took as kids. Still the guy who’d do angry any more. anything for a friend. (there’s another pause as Jack considers this) Pacey: (looking forlorn) And Joey? Ethan: Just think about it. (he goes over and gets Dawson: Joey? She’s my conscience. My soul into bed) Goodnight, Jack. mate. My inspiration. Point is, I’m really glad to Jack: Night. (Jack gets into bed) have you guys in my life, I’d be lost without you. (Jen’s house - Andie and Joey brush their hair in Pacey: (looks up at the night sky) You know, if I’m the bathroom - Joey goes into the bedroom and loyal to you Dawson, it’s only ‘cause you cast me sits opposite to Jen on the bed) in the role. You’re a story teller, you know? You Joey: Weird night, huh? see everything and figure out what it means. Did Jen: Yeah, I’ll say. you see the look on those kids faces when you (Joey looks towards the bathroom door to make were telling them that story tonight? How caught sure Andie hasn’t finished brushing her hair) up they were? You’re the guy who builds this Joey: I was talking to Bessie the other day, and fantastic world. You just let the rest of us live in it. she told me to talk to somebody about this, and- Dawson: These days it doesn’t feel so fantastic. and I can’t believe I’m telling you, but... (she looks Pacey: It will, bro. towards the bathroom again) Pacey kissed me the (Jack’s bedroom - Ethan is setting up one of those other day. portable fold-out beds) Jen: Yeah, I figured this thing would come to a Jack: Night. head sooner or later. Ethan: Hold up, don’t you think we should talk Joey: I mean, nothing came to a head, I mean, about what happened tonight? there is no “thing”, I’m just freaked out, and angry 167 and I just don’t understand why he would do Buzz: One pixie stick, one candy bar, and an something like this. I mean, it came out of orange soda. nowhere, and... (Pacey and Buzz virtually run into Joey) Jen: (puts down the book she was reading) Well, Pacey: Hey. if it came out of nowhere, then why am I not Joey: Hey. surprised? You should ask yourself, Joey, if this is Buzz: Heeyy. really nothing, then why are you so upset and so (Joey looks down at Buzz) confused? Pacey: Just a second. If you give us two minutes, (Joey shrugs and leans back against the bed) I’ll give you ten sodas and box of sugar, what do (Jack’s house - Mr McPhee is busy using a you say. calculator at a table- Jack enters the room in his Buzz: Done! dressing gown) Pacey: (handing over the cash) There you go. Mr. McPhee: (curtly) It’s late. What is it? (Buzz walks off to get his goodies) Jack: I- I just, um, (exhales heavily and sits down Pacey: Hey. in a chair next to the chess board) I just wanted to Joey: Hey again. ask you why. Why this weekend? Why this trip? (they speak at the same time) Why now, when for the past year you’ve treated Pacey: So, I just wanted to say- me like I was a leper? Okay, so can you answer Joey: About the other night- me that - why? (they both smile, the tension somewhat broken) (Mr McPhee turns off the calculator, takes off and Joey: You go first. folds his glasses, then gets up and walks around Pacey: Well, I just- I just wanted to say... that, uh, his desk, then sits in a chair opposite side of the I’m... sorry. All that stuff about disaster and chessboard) Dawson, and the ripple effect on our universe - it Mr. McPhee: It was just... time. I was talking to was all right. (Joey looks disheartened) I mean, Richard, at the office, he has a son, just failed out what I did was monumentally stupid, I don’t know of his fourth college, got caught stealing a car, what I was thinkin’, so... I- I just wanted you to drug problem, the whole nine yards. It just know that it was an impulse. Plain and simple. suddenly occurred to me, Jack is a good kid. I One that has left my body, permanently. have a good kid, and I don’t even know him. But I (whispers) Promise. wanna know him. So I cancelled my trip. Look, I Joey: Look, it’s okay, Pacey, I mean... I totally don’t see what the big deal is, somebody had to overreacted. I mean, something isn’t a big deal make the first move. unless you let it be, and it- and it’s not a big deal. Jack: I just didn’t think it would be you. Why get so upset? I mean, it obviously meant- (Mr McPhee moves the knight on the chessboard meant nothing, right? and Jack moves a piece also - Jack and his dad Pacey: Right, right, because what I did was a look at one another for a moment - Jack smiles a mistake. little) Joey: Right. (Camp site - morning - Dawson and Pacey are Pacey: Right, well, um, I guess that puts us back finishing packing their backpacks and the boys to just being friends. are having a sword fight with sticks in the (they shake hands) background) Joey: Definitely. Pacey: I’ll talk to you later, huh? Pacey: Great. Dawson: All right, I’ll see ya. (Joey nods) Pacey: (slinging his backpack on his shoulders) Pacey: Uh, all right, well, uh, I should, uh, I should Okay, let’s go guys. probably get going. Once that kids gets all that (the boys go to get their backpacks and bikes) sugar in him, watch out, he’s a little terror. I’ll Buzz: Bye Dawson, watch out for Max and his probably have to chase him home. It’s two miles bloody axe. plus - not pretty. Dawson: (smiles) See you guys. Joey: Well then I guess I- I’ll see you later, Pacey. (Local store - Pacey and Buzz enter) Pacey: Yeah, I’ll see you later, Jo. Buzz: I’m gonna get 12 pixie sticks and five candy (Pacey walks away - meets up with Buzz outside bars. the door and they begin walking home) Pacey: How about an orange soda and a box of Pacey: (as Buzz is about to push his bike over the pretzels? curb) One, two, three, grab it (he grabs the bike and lifts it) There you go. 168 Buzz: That her? Buzz: The girl you wanna kiss, stupid? The one Pacey: Who? you’re in love with. Buzz: The girl? Pacey: Nope. Pacey: What girl? (Joey reaches the store doorway and watches Pacey and Buzz as they walk, Ending credtis)

169 Stolen Kisses

[Outside Dawson’s House, Dawson and Joey walk Andie: Nice to meet you, Will. I’m Andie. up the dock] Will: Let me help you. Joey: What are you so smiley about, Dawson? Andie: Great, thanks. Dawson: Look at us, Jo, what have we become? (Pacey walks over to Joey who’s apart from the Joey: Care to expound? group.) Dawson: It’s Spring Break. The time most kids Pacey: Hey. our age go visit some exotic, sun-drenched locale, Joey: (annoyed) Hey. So I thought you were put on skimpy bathing suits and ingest mass sitting this one out, Pacey. quantities of liquor. What do we do? We go visit Pacey: I was. Until Will showed up on my front my Aunt. doorstep and… I just thought I should show him a Joey: It’s a ritual. It was our ritual. I’m glad we’re good time and… going. I love Aunt Gwen. Joey: And? Dawson: And she loves you. Pacey: And they could probably use a hand up Joey: I can’t believe she’s selling her house. there, so… Dawson: I know, it feels like the end of an era. (Pacey retreats and Joey looks on with worry.) Joey: Do you think we can rope Jack and Andie [Leery’s Fresh Fish. Henry, in an apron, comes up into one of our famous, late-night karaoke to Jen who’s sitting at the bar] sessions? Jen: Okay, you have got to stop trying to impress Dawson: Okay. I thought we had agreed to go on me, Henry. living the rest of our lives as if that never Henry: It was the coach’s idea. He said if I was happened. going to be hanging around you so much, I might Joey: Dawson Leery, ashamed of his own roots. as well help out. (She laughs to herself) What? You love that karaoke machine and you know it. Jen: I was just wondering how many guys would Pacey: Hey, guys. Look what I found spend their spring break in a fish eatery just to be Joey: This can’t be who I think it is, Will Krudski? in close proximity to their girlfriend. You’re a saint. (They shake hands) Hey Henry: Well, you know what they say…there’s a Dawson: Last time I saw you was the third grade, fine line between saint and moron. kicking Pacey’s butt on the playground. (Henry goes back to the kitchen, crossing paths Will: Yeah, well what was I supposed to do? He with Shelly, a waitress) was calling me Will Kruddy. Shelly: (to Jen) Who’s the new b-boy? Pacey: It’s a good thing you moved to New Jen: Oh, that’s Henry. He’s a funny little creature. Raleigh, pal, because without you to worry about, Shelly: Make that a yummy little creature. I became king of the playground. Jen: Hmm? Joey: So uh what brings you to Capeside, Will Shelly: Oh, he’s so my type. Tall, lanky, a branch Will: Thought I’d surprise an old friend. right off the DiCaprio family tree. Pacey: And in the spirit of friendship, I took the Jen: Yeah, you think? liberty of telling Will here that maybe you guys Shelly: I definitely think. He’s got that cute little would have room for two more in your little Ragamuffin-With-A-Dream look. Makes you want impromptu journey. to take him home and give him a bath. And then Dawson: I don’t have a problem with that. maybe hop in the tub with him, and… Will: I’m not intruding? Jen: Okay, Shelly, I think that Table 19 needs Dawson: No, not at all. (Pacey and Joey look at their check. one another cautiously) Please, besides the list of Shelly: Oh, they just got their check. things to do in Capeside when you’re sixteen is Jen: Then I’m sure that somewhere out there woefully short. somebody’s in dire need of a dessert menu, huh? Andie: (off camera) Hey guys. [A Diner. Joey, Dawson, Will, Andie and Pacey sit Pacey: Whoa. Beware of McPhees bearing too around a table.] much luggage. Where’s Jackers? Andie: Okay, Will, quick get to know you quiz. Andie: He bailed in favor of spending quality time Favorite movie? with Dad. (Will picks up her bags for her) Hmm. Will: Well, when I was about 5 years old, my Dad Who’s the kind-hearted gentleman. took me to a revival of Planet of the Apes, which Will: Will. (They shake hands) knowing my dad is a really big thing, so I’ve got to

170 say that ranks as my favorite. But I’m really more Gale: We’re great. We’re doing just great. of a book guy. Dawson’s 16 now and a big bundle of precocious Andie: Favorite movie doesn’t star Adam Sandler angst, but he’s a terrific kid. or Steven Seagal and he likes to read. You sure Megan: I see you followed through, made the he’s your friend, Pacey? (Pacey giggles restaurant a reality. It’s inspiring, really. So many sarcastically at her and she does the same to dreams never come true. (Mitch and Gale gaze at him.) Okay, favorite book? each other) You know, I almost forgot. I was Will: Well that’s easy, Catcher in the Rye. rummaging through some of Tom’s stuff. You Salinger is a God. should have this. (She hands Gale an envelope) Andie: What do you want to be when you grow It’s the toast from your wedding. I can still see up? Tom staying up till 4 in the morning the night Will: I don’t know. Just happy, I guess. before just trying to get it right. Dawson: You’ll get along great with my Aunt [The car pulls up to Aunt Gwen’s house. Dawson Gwen. She’s another Salinger freak. enters, followed by the gang.] Andie: So what’s your Aunt Gwen like? Dawson: (to the others) Come on in. Hello? (Aunt Joey: She’s an artist. Gwen is painting and dancing across the room) Dawson: A painter. Hello? Joey: She’s incredibly talented. She paints and Gwen: (turns to see him) Dawson! Baby, you she reads great books and she does yoga and made it! (She claps her hands and hugs him) she lives life on her own terms. (Pacey gives her a Dawson: Hey. long look and Joey squirms in her seat.) Gwen: Hi! Joey, how gorgeous did you turn out? Andie: Is she married? Wow. (Goes on to Pacey) And this must be Pacey Dawson: She was once, to this uptight lawyer. Pacey: I see my reputation proceeds me. She had this picture perfect suburban and then Gwen: Actually, we’ve met before. she met Richard, who is this crazy, bearded Pacey: We have? painter, about twenty years older than her. She Gwen: I wouldn’t expect you to remember it. It left her husband for him, never looked back. was years ago at my sister’s Fourth of July picnic Pacey: We gonna get to meet this wife-stealing and you were chasing this one (pointing to Joey) Picasso? around and teasing her mercilessly, and when I Dawson: Unfortunately, their happily-ever-after went to intervene you said to me, “Hey lady, step only lasted a couple years. Richard died about a on my buzz, why dontcha?” (She pokes Pacey) year ago of a heart attack. Andie: That sounds about right. Andie: Wow, sad. Gwen: Which would make you Andie? Will: I don’t know, I mean, isn’t it better to have a Andie: Yeah, nice to meet you Aunt Gwen. (They short time with somebody that you really love than hug) a lifetime with somebody who’s basically your Gwen: (to Will) And this has got to be Jack, right? roommate? It’s just a thought. Pacey: Uh, no Jackers couldn’t make it this [Mitch and Gale sit across from each other at a weekend, so Aunt Gwen, please allow me to table] introduce my friend, Will Krudski. Megan: Hey, you two. Long time, no see. Gwen: Ah, a friend of Pacey’s. (They shake Gale: (gets up to hug her) Megan, oh my god, hands) Not a good sign. what are you doing here? [Night. Joey walks through the room in her Mitch: How are you? Where’s Tom is he outside? bathrobe. She runs into Pacey, in a gray Megan: We should talk. wifebeater. They both pause awkwardly.] [Outside] Pacey: Hey. Gale: I am so sorry, honey. He was a wonderful Joey: Tell me, Pacey, is our conversation this guy. week going to consist solely of monosyllabic Megan: He was, wasn’t he? You know, I mean, grunts? sure, we had our problems, but looking back now Pacey: Jo, this is neither the time nor the place to it just all seems so stupid and petty. He was one be discussing events of weeks past. of the good ones. I guess that makes me one of Joey: Look, who wants to discuss it? I thought we the lucky ones. (She takes a deep breath) Okay, agreed that it was no big deal. let me segue out of this grieving widow routine. Pacey: It isn’t. How the hell are you guys? Joey: Fine. So there should be no weirdness Mitch: Well, actually— between us. 171 Pacey: Right. You’re right. (whispers) But I think Will: I’ll teach you. we may have a small problem. Andie: Okay, you’re gonna teach me how to hit a [The bedroom. Andie, Dawson and Will lay in ball with a stick? sleeping bags on the floor, leaving the bed free.] Will: There’s an art to it, you know. Joey: You’ve got to be kidding me. Pacey, do Andie: Oh, okay I get it, so you’re like Tom something about this. Cruise, Color of Money? Right… Pacey: (goes over to Dawson) Uh, Dawson. Hey, [Leery’s Fresh Fish. Mitch is going through a box.] Dawson. Gale: You don’t have to do that, you know. Dawson: (groggily) What? Mitch: I’m just trying to help out. Pacey: Look, uh, let’s say you hop up and give Gale: Are you okay, do you want to talk? Joey here your sleeping bag. Mitch: About? Dawson: What, and hop in the sack with you? Gale: What do you think. Pacey: Essentially, yeah. Mitch: (looking away from her) A friend of ours Dawson: Good night, Pacey. died, Gale. It royally sucks, but it happened. And Pacey: Andie? (She sniffs and snores a little, but it’s really sad, but I don’t know what there is to talk doesn’t wake up.) Andie? about. Will: I’m not sleeping with you, Pacey. And Joey, I Gale: Well, it must make you feel a certain way. I don’t think we know each other well enough. No know it does me. offense. Mitch: I wish I’d called him more. I wish he’d Joey: None taken. called me more. I wish a lot of things. Pacey: Okay, we’re just going to have to make Gale: (hands him the envelope) I think you should the best of this, all right? (He gets in bed) read this. Joey: Fine. But if I so much as feel anything- Mitch: Why? Pacey: Jo, get in bed. While you’re at it, get over Gale: Because it’s beautiful, his words. I didn’t yourself. remember. It was nice to go back and see us Joey: (climbs in and pulls up the covers) Pacey, through his eyes for a moment. get your butt away from me. Mitch: I’d rather not. (He hands it back to her) Pacey: My butt wants nothing to do with your butt, Gale: What is wrong with you? okay? Give me some of these covers, man. (They Mitch: Nothing, nothing. I just don’t feel like a trip both fight over the covers) Jo—Jo. down memory lane right now, that’s all. (He walks (Joey pouts with disgust. Pacey sighs and looks at away.) the ceiling) [The patio of the restaurant. Jen sees Shelly [Morning. Joey and Pacey are waking up. He flirting with Henry who looks a little looks over at her, unable to see she’s awake. He uncomfortable.] sits up and watches her, beginning to lean over Jen: Hi. her.] Shelly: Hey, Jen. How adorable is this boy, can Gwen: Sleepyheads, breakfast! you tell me? (Pacey quickly moves back to his side and Jen: Yeah, he’s dreamy. Listen, Shell, I need you pretends to wake up) to cover sections 5 and 6 today. Pacey: (yawns) Oh, man. Shelly: 5 and 6? Lindley, that’s crazy talk. (In the kitchen) Jen: Sorry, hon, we’re a little short staffed. I need Gwen: So glad you could join us, you two. I have you to be a team player, here. a spectacular dinner planned for this evening, but Shelly: Bye, Henry. first I must shop and I’m going to steal Dawson Henry: Bye. You know we were just talking, right? and Joey to help me. The rest of you I encourage Jen: Of course you were. to explore the somewhat limited charms of my Henry: You just seemed a little jealous. humble little podunk town. We don’t have much in Jen: Oh, jealous? Please, Henry, I’m so not in the way of entertainment, there’s no multiplex, no touch with that emotion. I don’t even know what monster truck show, but we do have this kick-ass that would feel like. Jealous. That’s ridiculous. little pool hall. Henry: What, it’s ridiculous that someone might Will: I love to play pool. find me to be a decent, worthwhile human being? Pacey: Yeah, I’m always down for some billiard Jen: That’s not what I meant. action. Henry: Whatever. (He goes inside.) Andie: What is it with guys and pool? It’s a phallic [The Pool Hall. Will breaks and Andie scoffs.] thing, right? 172 Andie: Okay, Tom Cruise, Color of Money, right? Joey: It was exceptionally bad timing. And then You suck! he got back from summer vacation- Pacey: Easy, McPhee. Them’s fightin’ words. Dawson: And the possibility of having my heart Andie: I thought he was supposed to be this ripped out of my chest once again didn’t sound as amazing pool player. appealing as it once had, so I decided that it Will: I never claimed to be any good. I just said I would be best to be friends. like to play. Joey: And then he asked Pacey to look out for Andie: And you said in a somewhat me. condescending fashion that you’d teach me. She Gwen: What does Pacey have to do with this? shoots and gets one in the pocket. Looks like I Joey: (hesitates) Nothing. Just, there you have it. should be the one giving the lessons. What do Gwen: Well, then I have just one question. Why you say, Pacey? aren’t the two of you together now? Pacey: Maybe you should cut the guy some [Outside the pool hall. Will and Pacey count their slack. There might just be some method to his money.] madness. (He hits one of the balls off the table, Andie: You hustled them! bumping the guy at the next table over) Will: And this is a big deal why? Andie: Okay, all I have to say right now is little old Andie: Because I find it morally wrong and me is wiping up the floor with the two of you. offensive and disgusting. I mean, I didn’t come Pacey: Sorry man, I just can’t seem to keep those here with you guys to be an accomplice to your things on the table. little seedy scam. Man: You guys interested in a game? Pacey: Andie, Will’s a shark. He always has been. Andie: No look, mister, these two, they’re What are you gonna do? seriously deluded and totally lame, so I’m gonna Andie: I mean, you let me think that I was good. set the record straight right here and now. It would Will: You are good. be both sick and wrong to take their money away. Andie: I am? Will: We’ll play. Will: Sure. [Dawson goes through some paintings as Aunt Andie: Okay, you’re hustling me right now, aren’t Gwen approaches him.] you? Gwen: What are you looking for? Will: Maybe. (He hands her a wad of bills) Dawson: Something for my wall. Andie: What’s this? Gwen: Oh, which if I recall correctly is plastered in Will: It’s your share of the take. wall-to-wall movie posters. You know, somehow I [Andie, Gwen, Will and Pacey play with hoses in don’t think this is going to go along with that whole the stable as Joey and Dawson talk in the loft.] film-geek aesthetic you’ve got going on. Dawson: Joey, do I seem different to you? Dawson: The posters are gone, actually. I took Joey: What do you mean? them all down. Dawson: Well, after all this energy to reinventing Gwen: Amistad wasn’t that bad, honey. myself, and to be honest, I don’t see where it’s Dawson: Well, more a crisis of faith, actually. gotten me. I don’t feel any different. Gwen: What do you mean? Joey: Actually, you are different, Dawson. Once Dawson: Well, I guess I got tired of having this upon a time, you had to be the center of attention. larger-than-life dream to compensate for my Life revolved around you and your dreams. And smaller-than-life life. recently, I’ve watched you fade into the Gwen: Okay. So the movie posters are down, film background and let others shine. You’re different. has lost its luster, and I am detecting a significant What? lack of smooching, hand-holding, general all- Dawson: This trip, this week is reminding me of around cuddliness between the two of you. So? what we’re good at. Come on, tell me everything. Joey: And what’s that? Dawson: Well, to make a long soap opera short, Dawson: We make sense of each other’s lives. we got together. We always have. Joey: Which was so completely overwhelming Joey: Things are changing, Dawson. People that it forced me to retreat into this long, evolve and some things drop away. protracted period of soul-searching. Dawson: Things don’t have to be any certain way, Dawson: Which sent me into a dizzying Joey. Growing up does not have to equal growing downward spiral of depression. Then I finally apart. managed to get her back, and- Joey: No, it does. 173 Dawson: You gotta find some faith. Faith that Jen: Well, what did you tell her? whatever sent us off in different directions is the Henry: What do you think I said? I said I had a same thing that’ll- girlfriend. Joey: (nods) Bring us back together. I take it Jen: Do you find her attractive? back. You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still an Henry: What? eternal optimist, Dawson. Jen: Well, do you or don’t you? Dawson: Maybe. Just, I don’t know, I’m starting to Henry: No. forget why. Jen: You know what Henry, go have sex with her. Joey: Why what? Go off and make a million babies because I don’t Dawson: Why we’re not together. care. Pacey: (from below) Hey, you guys wanna come Henry: But- down and give us a hand? Jen: And don’t you dare tell me that I am jealous. (Joey looks down at him to see “Dawson and Joey [Andie goes outside to find Will on the porch.] Best Friends Forever” engraved on the floor) Andie: Oh, might I have found the hustler in a [Aunt Gwen’s House. Joey looks at one of Gwen’s contemplative moment? paintings of a house.] Will: Yeah. Contemplating my next big score. Joey: That one’s my favorite, I think. Andie: You’re a mass of contradictions, Will Gwen: When I was married, I was taking this art Krudski. class and the first thing the teacher said was close Will: How’s that? your eyes and paint your future and the rest will Andie: Oh, come on, the well-read pool shark, the take care of itself. And it did. blue-collar academic. Joey: You painted this before you lived here? Will: You read the color of my collar pretty quickly. (Gwen nods. Joey sits down.) Do you have any Is it that obvious? regrets? Andie: Yeah, about as obvious as the fact that Gwen: About? you’re pretty darn smart. Joey: The way in which you and Richard came Will: That’s nice of you to say. together. Andie: So, uh, what makes you so unhappy? Gwen: You know, Joey, I got married too young Will: What do you mean? and I sold out in a big way. I stayed in a Andie: You said that all you wanna do when you relationship that was safe and comfortable and grow up is be happy, so what makes you so then I met this man who made me feel alive for unhappy now? the very first time. Those kinds of feelings just Will: Too many things to mention, I guess. won’t be ignored, you know? I owed it to myself to Andie: Okay, so how about trying one. explore them. C’mere. (She gets up and Joey Will: My father. follows her.) Now, this one, this one is my favorite. Andie: What’s he like? (She shows her a picture of Joey and Dawson as Will: He’s a jerk. He works at the factory, so he’s kids.) Definitely. this total townie, treats my mother like crap. I can’t (Joey looks at it with distress. Gwen goes into the wait to get the hell away from him. You know, I other room and Pacey comes up behind her.) came to hang out with Pacey because I just Pacey: Hey. couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get out of the Joey: (Joey looks back at him, a little surprised.) house. Hey. (She turns and walks away) Andie: Sorry, Will. [Leery’s Fresh Fish. Jen is taking a reservation [Leery’s Fresh Fish Kitchen. Mitch and Gale both over the phone when Henry comes up to her.] try a bite of a dish.] Jen: Party of 7, we will have your table at 8 then. Gale: Too mushy. Thank you, bye. (she hangs up) Mitch: Too crunchy. Henry: Um, Shelly just offered me sex. I just Gale: Hmm. You actually have an opinion. The thought you should know about it. last conversation we had, you didn’t want to be Jen: She what? involved. Henry: She basically said I could have sex with Mitch: Just because I’m not talking doesn’t mean her any time I wanted. Apparently she likes I’m not thinking. younger guys. Gale: And just because we’re not married doesn’t Jen: Henry, your hands are shaking. mean we can’t talk. Henry: A strange girl just offered me sex. This Mitch: Maybe that’s what it does mean. has never happened to me before. Gale: I can’t believe you’re saying this, Mitch. 174 Mitch: Why not? Why would I want to rely on you, Pacey: Well, it’s the history. It’s killing me, how trust you? can a guy compete when you two have your own Gale: Because if nothing else, I am your friend. karaoke routine? Mitch: If we were such great friends, wouldn’t we Joey: Pacey, you’re not supposed to compete, be married right now? we’re supposed to have our own his- (She stops) I [Aunt Gwen’s House. Karaoke night. Dawson didn’t mean that. watches as everyone sings Louie, Louie. Andie Pacey: Well what did you mean? sings Oo child. Pacey sings Wild Thing.] Joey: I don’t know anymore, Pacey. Gwen: And now I’d like to bring up two of my very Pacey: You know this little arrangement we’ve got favorite people to perform their very own special going on between us? number, Dawson and Joey, that’s right! Joey: Yes. Dawson: No, I’m not gonna sing Pacey: Well, it sucks. It sucks up one side and Gwen: Get up here. (She drags them up.) Come down the other. It’s uncomfortable, it’s weird and I on, Joey, ready? hate every single second of it. Dawson: Oh no. Joey: Really? (They reluctantly get to their feet and take their Pacey: Yes. microphones.) Joey: Then why did you come here, Pacey? Dawson and Joey: (more mumbling than singing) Pacey: You know, for a bright girl, you can be Oh I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as really daft sometimes. Why do you think I came she sings, the six o’clock alarm would never ring. here? (She tries to answer) I came here to be with Dawson: I can’t believe I’m doing this. you! It’s as simple as that! When you like Both: (smiling and getting more into it) But it rings somebody, proximity is a good thing, regardless of and I rise, wipe the sleep out of my eyes. My how they feel about you. Or don’t, as the case shaving razor’s cold and it stings. Cheer up sleepy may be. (He begins to walk away.) Jean, oh what can it mean to a Daydream Joey: I felt it. Believer and a Homecoming Queen? Pacey: (turning back to look at her) What? (Pacey, who’s been watching with displeasure Joey: This morning. Your arm brushed up against gets up and leaves. Joey watches him go with a me in bed and… I felt it. worried expression.) Pacey: How did it feel? [Leery’s Fresh Fish. Shelly goes up to Henry Joey: It made me feel alive. again as Jen looks on in rage. She storms over.] Pacey: Okay. Joey, I’m going to kiss you now. Jen: Alright, Shelly, that’s it get your boobs away Joey: You can’t! from him. Pacey: Look, Jo, you can’t say something like that Shelly: What is your problem? and expect me not to kiss you, so that’s exactly Jen: This is my boyfriend you’re flirting with and I what I’m going to do. I’m gonna kiss ya, in about don’t appreciate it. ten seconds, and if you don’t want me to kiss Shelly: Why didn’t you tell me? you…well, if you don’t want me to, I guess then Jen: Because I have issues, okay? you’re just gonna have to stop me. (He comes Shelly: Clearly. closer. She looks up at him.) Ten. (He kisses her.) Jen: Listen, the point is that he’s not yours, he’s (From behind, someone clears their throat. mine, and I have looked all over the place for one Caught in the act, they freeze and pull away.) like him and I am not giving him up without a fight. Joey: (whispers) Pacey. So should you choose to continue to drape (He sighs and turns around. Gwen is standing yourself all over him like the slutty wench that you behind them.) are, you and me, we’re gonna throw down. Pacey: I think maybe I should head inside and (People around the restaurant look up. Shelly and sing myself some more karaoke. Cuz Lord knows Jen both shift uncomfortably) that’s what I want to be doing right now, is singing Jen: (to Henry) Happy now? I’m jealous. myself some karaoke. (Jen walks out.) Gwen: That’s a splendid idea, Pacey. Well, at [Outside Aunt Gwen’s, Joey finds Pacey sitting by least now I understand why you and Dawson himself.] aren’t together. Joey: Are you okay? Joey: Okay, um, I know you just saw that and I Pacey: Not so much, no. can explain— Joey: What’s wrong? Gwen: What I just saw is none of my business, but I think you should tell Dawson. 175 Joey: It was just a mistake. Henry: Why? Jealousy’s a pretty natural human Gwen: Something tells me that when you kiss a emotion. boy, it’s not a mistake. You should know I am the Jen: You don’t understand, I spent years building last person on earth that’s going to judge you, but this complex series of booby traps so that nobody you cannot be reckless with someone else’s would ever get too close. And then you came feelings. What if that had been Dawson that had along with that big, beating heart of yours and you seen you and not me? I mean, do you think he’d broke all those walls down and it’s just really ever be able to erase that from his mind? scary. I mean, what if I lose you? (Gwen goes inside. Joey looks down and sighs Henry: You know, Jen, I was kind of glad that you sadly.) were jealous. You have nothing to worry about [Inside Gwen’s House. Pacey sits dejectedly on cuz I’m not going anywhere. If I die tomorrow, so the couch. Andie comes up to him.] be it. At least I die tomorrow knowing my biggest Andie: Hey. You okay, Pacey? You seem a little dream came true. storm cloudy. Jen: What’s that? Pacey: Really. I was just thinking that now would Henry: Seeing you in lingerie. be a good time to take up that dabilitating drug (They laugh. He kisses her.) habit I’ve always wanted. (A beat) I’m just kidding. [Leery’s Fresh Fish. Mitch finds Gale at one of the Andie: You know, your friend Will, he’s not at all tables.] what I expected. He’s really sweet. Mitch: Would you mind coming with me for a Pacey: Yeah, he’s a good guy. His family moved second? away a long time ago, but we’ve managed to keep Gale: Okay. (She gets up. He takes her into in pretty good contact, I guess. Once you bond another room.) over dysfunctional dad issues, there’s no turning Mitch: I was reading the toast and I got this urge back. to see him again. (They stop at a TV with their Andie: Yeah, he told me about his father. It’s wedding video playing.) And you’re right. It was pretty sad. beautiful. I had to let you go. I wanted you to stay, Pacey: He told you? but you said no. You went to Philly and I had to let Andie: Yeah. you go. Pacey: Do you like him or something? Gale: What does that have to do with anything? Andie: Maybe. Maybe not, who knows Pacey? Mitch: More than you realize. To remember what But don’t you think it’s just better to be honest and we were is painful for me. open about things like this? I mean, who wants to Gale: Yesterday, I was looking at megan, this carry around this burden of guilt over moving on, woman who had lost the love of her life. Suddenly, which, by nature, has to happen. I want you to be our problems just seemed- happy, Pacey. (He nods and laughs a little) Mitch: Trivial. [Leery’s Fresh Fish. Henry is looking around the Gale: Or even past. back of the restaurant for Jen.] (Mitch takes her hand and they go into the middle Henry: Jen? (He starts to leave) of the floor to dance, as they dance on the video.) Jen: I’m in here. Just follow the trail of loser dust. [Aunt Gwen’s house. Dawson looks through (He opens a door and finds her sitting on the pictures of him and Joey singing karaoke as floor.) children. Joey comes in and he shows them to Henry: What are you doing in here? her.] Jen: Isn’t it pretty obvious? I made an ass out of Dawson: Take a look at these. What a dork I was. myself, thus I am hiding. Joey: You weren’t. (She looks at one of the Henry: Why are you crying? pictures and laughs) Oh, maybe a little. (pauses) Jen: I don’t know. Oh God, I hate crying, cuz it’s Can we talk? such a girl thing to do. Dawson: Yeah, what’s up? Henry: And you’re such a girl. Such a cute one. Joey: Um- Jen: Stop it. You’re not supposed to say sweet (Gwen comes into the room.) nothings. You’re supposed to be mad. Gwen: Um, sorry. I’m interrupting something. You Henry: I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m not curious can- about what’s going on in that busy head of yours. Joey: No it’s okay. We can…later. Jen: You were right. Henry, I was jealous. And it Dawson: Okay. really freaked me out. (Joey leaves.)

176 Gwen: I brought you something for your wall. of words spoken throughout the course of our (She shows him the painting of him and Joey.) relationship- Thought maybe it would help you find your way Pacey: Well what would you have said to him? back. Joey: I don’t know. Dawson: Way back to what. Pacey: I don’t believe you. Gwen: Well, back to those things that made you Joey: Pacey, I don’t have any answers right now, this little daydream believer. Look, Dawson, I okay? Can’t you understand that? know you can’t see it right now, but you are a very Pacey: The only reason that you don’t have talented young man with a rich and powerful answers is because you’ve been too scared to imagination. Your dreams are an asset, not a ask yourself the right questions. weakness. Joey: What are you talking about? Dawson: I can’t find the inspiration anymore. It’s Pacey: Look, I know how I feel, you know how I easy for you. The evidence of your talent is all feel. That much is obvious by now but during this aroudn you. whole process, we’ve managed to miss the point. Gwen: This is not my talent. Dawson, when my Because the point is not how I feel, it’s how you time is up I want to know that I did one thing well: feel. So how do you feel? loved somebody. The rest of this is just an Joey: Awful. That’s how I feel, Pacey, I feel awful. expression of that one thing. What’s your one Pacey: So do I. When I was kissing you tonight, I thing? (Dawson tries to answer, but he can’t say don’t think that I’ve ever felt better and worse at anything.) Okay, close your eyes, now paint your one time in my entier life. I mean, the very idea future. (He closes his eyes) What do you see? that Dawson or Andie would find out about us is [Outside Aunt Gwen’s house. Joey walks over to killing me. It is tearing me up on the inside to have Pacey who sits by a fire. She sits beside him] these feelings for you, but I can’t get rid of them. I Pacey: You don’t have to worry, I’m not gonna can’t keep on kissing you, Joey. kiss you again, Joey. What’s goin’ on here? Joey: What do you mean? Joey: I don’t know. Pacey: I mean just that. I can’t keep on kissing Pacey: Don’t you think I deserve a better answer you. I’ve done it twice now. I can’t be the one than that after all this? that’s always initiating this. I can’t be the one Joey: Pacey, believe me, I’ve been trying to get that’s always giving you the answers. Look at me, you out of my head. I’ve tried to pretend that this Joey. is just some bizarre hormonal glitch, but it’s not Joey: I can’t. working. Pacey: Please. (She looks up tearfully.) If you felt Pacey: Do you really want it to work? even one shred of what I feel for you, then we Joey: I tried to tell him. wouldn’t be standing here having this Pacey: Really? conversation. (He walks away.) Joey: Yes. Joey: Pacey. (She takes his hand and stops him. Pacey: What happened? She looks at him for a minute, then kisses him as Joey: I couldn’t really find the words, Pacey, we fade to black.) which I know is odd considering the sheer volume

177 The Longest Day

Joey: (voice over) Ever have one of those days Pacey: Every time I see the guy now, I just feel you wish you could live all over again? like- [Morning out on the Dock where Doug, Buzz, Joey: You don’t have to bother filling in the Andie, Jack and Jen all stand by the True Love.] expletive, okay? I mean this isn’t exactly the Andie: Oh hey look, there’s Dawson and his dad. easiest thing I’ve ever had to do, Pacey. Telling (Dawson and Mitch get out of their car and head Dawson that while he wasn’t looking I developed towards the others) this bizarre gravitational pull towards his best Mitch: Got the champagne? friend, and I can’t stop thinking about him or Dawson: Right here. (He almost drops it) wanting to be near him or wanting to kiss him all Mitch: Whoa! the time. (They go into another deep kiss.) Dawson: That was almost a disaster. Hey, guys, Pacey: I’ll do it. Buzz. Joey: What? Andie: Hey. Pacey: I’ll tell him. Buzz: Hey, Dawson. Joey: No, I can’t let you do that. This is my Andie: So where’s Joey? I thought she was responsibility. coming with you. Pacey: Jo, it’s not your responsibility. I’m the one Dawson: She wanted to stop by the library first that started this, remember? I’m the one that got and plow through that Watergate history you into this situation, and frankly, the only way assignment. that I wanna save my friendship with Dawson is to Andie: Yeah. (In the boathouse and out of sight, be completely honest, so I gotta do this. All I need Pacey and Joey are gradually making their way is one day. Just one day. towards the door, though they’re also unable to Joey: (she nods) One day. keep their hands off each other.) Pacey: Yes, one day. (He kisses her forehead.) Joey: Come on, let’s go, Pacey. (She kisses him [Out on the docks by Pacey’s boat. Pacey and again) It’s your boat we’re planning on christening. Buzz are talking. Everyone else has already (He lifts her up and sets her down on the table in gone.] front of him.) Pacey: No, she’s not late, she’s an hour late. Pacey: I own a boat? (They kiss again) When people are late, they’re like fifteen minutes Joey: (not very convincingly) No, we have to stop late. doing this. It’s wrong. Doug: (coming towards them) Alright, here’s the Pacey: Yes. Dead wrong. (He begins to kiss her deal. There’s an apologetic, yet somewhat neck.) incoherent message on the machine for you from Joey: Pacey. Look, we’ve been in denial all week. someone named Nora. Seems she got confused, I mean, when we’re around other people we thought you had him for the day and now she’s pretend like nothing’s changed and then the stuck at work and can’t get free until this evening. minute we’re alone it turns into this. (They kiss Pacey: Speaking of work, you’re not on duty again) today, are you Doug? Pacey: This what? Doug: Ah, no, no, no, little brother. (picks Buzz Joey: Well, this embarrassing grope-fest. up) This juvenile is your responsibility. (He hands Pacey: Yeah, I guess this is kind of embarrassing, Buzz to Pacey.) huh? Especially for you, given how much you’ve Pacey: Wait Doug, I got this one thing I gotta do protested. (He kisses her again.) man, and it ranks kinda high up there on the Joey: I did not protest. importance list so, (he hands Buzz back to Doug) Pacey: You did too. (The kissing starts again) I’ll just do this one thing, I’ll go, I’ll do it, I’ll be right Joey... wait, wait, wait. back, I swear. Joey: What? Doug: Have you ever noticed how your one little Pacey: We gotta tell him, Jo. We do. (he begins to things tend to multiply? pace) We gotta tell him as soon as possible Pacey: Doug, it’s just one thing. I’ll be right back, I because the longer we wait, Jo, the worse it gets. swear. It shouldn’t take any time. Joey: I know, Pacey. I tried. I’ve tried plenty of Doug: Pacey! times. Pacey: Dougie!

178 [Outside Jen’s house. Jen and Grams walk out to Andie: Hey. the car. Jen carries a suitcase and puts it in the Pacey: You’re looking happy. This just your usual trunk.] library glow? Grams: I know he’s a very reasonable young man Andie: Yeah, well, you know. Free books make and we certainly have no reason to suspect him of me giddy. ill intentions but with no one here to chaperone- Pacey: (noticing Will) Krudski. Jen: You never know what sort of hijinks might Will: : Studying on a Saturday, Witter. That’s most ensue. unlike you. (to Andie, sweetly) So, I’ll see you Grams: This is no laughing matter, Jennifer. I tonight, Andie? establish these rules not because I don’t trust you Andie: Yeah. (She’s a little awkward as she but because the sexual impulses of the teenage watches Will leave) boy— Pacey: Tonight, huh? Jen: Okay, Grams, I think that you’re going out on Andie: Yeah, uh, well we’re thinking about getting a limb here for nothing. I assure that whatever dinner or something. sexual impulses Henry Parker may throw at me, I Pacey: Oh no, hey, look, a girl’s gotta eat, huh? am perfectly capable of handling. (Grams gets in Andie: So, what are you doing here? I mean, the car and Jen shuts the door behind her, waving you’re not studying are you? goodbye. She looks over and sees Pacey staring Pacey: No, not studying. Looking for Dawson. at Dawson’s house. She walks over to him.) You haven’t seen him, have you? Jen: Hey, Pace. Andie: Nope. I haven’t seen him. Pacey: Hey. Pacey: Well, I’ll let you get back to your work. See Jen: Anybody home? you later. Pacey: I don’t know, actually. Andie: Yeah. Jen: Could knock and find out. [Doug’s house. Buzz is jumping on the bed. Doug Pacey: Could just walk right in, you know. They enters with the answering machine covered in never lock it. I been coming here since I was five bubble gum] years old, just walking right through the front door, Doug: No, no, no, Buzz! Listen to me, this is not a making myself at home. toy, alright? This is an answering machine. This Jen: She wants to be with you, Pace. She does. was my answering machine, do you understand? Pacey: And you know this how? (Pacey enters in the background) Buzz, where is Jen: Told me so this morning. the tape? Buzz, stop bouncing! Pacey: (chuckles then sighs) Why am I not Pacey: Dougie, I’m home! (Buzz jumps off the happier to hear that right now? bed and runs over to Pacey) Jen: Well, Because right now you’ve gotta walk Buzz: Yeah! And I thought you were boring! through that front door and tell your best friend Pacey: See that? Game Boy. Pokemon Blue, that the only girl in the universe he can’t live man. Go to it. without- Buzz: Cool. Pacey: Is the same one that I can’t live without. Doug: Yeah, that’s really great. Where the hell Yeah, I’ve had this conversation with him in my have you been? Look at this, it’s ruined. head with him a thousand times. Pacey: Doug, I’m sorry. Look, me and Joey came Jen: Yeah? How’s it go. to a really important decision. Pacey: Well, you know, Dawson saying Doug: Whoa, wait, since when are you and Joey something along the lines of Via con dios, Pace. I deciding anything. had my shot at making her happy, now why don’t Pacey: You’re gonna like this one because it you give it a try? turns out you were right. She’s into me, man. Jen: It could happen. Just minus the Spanish That’s why she got so freaked out when I kissed part. (Mitch comes out the front door) her. Mitch: Hey guys, if you’re looking for Dawson you Doug: Really? just missed him. Pacey: (he goes to the refrigerator and pulls out a Pacey: Did he say where he was going? jug of milk) Yeah. Mitch: He said something about the library. Doug: So then you told Dawson. [In the library, Andie runs into Pacey. Will is Pacey: No, not exactly. That’s what I was trying to coming up behind her.] do all morning, Doug. Remember the little errand Andie: Pacey. that I had to run? But it just turned into this wild Pacey: Hi. goose chase (takes a swig of the milk straight 179 from the carton) and I really didn’t think it was Joey: (voice over) Ever have one of those days gonna take that long. I’m sorry. you wish you could live all over again? Doug: Look, telling Dawson that you kissed Joey [At the Docks for the christening. Again. in a moment of weakness is a hell of a lot different Everything is the same as it was before.] than sneaking around with her behind his back, Andie: Oh hey look, there’s Dawson and his dad. don’t you think? Look, Pacey at the end of the (Dawson and Mitch get out of their car and head day, Joey and Dawson, they’re going to stay towards the others) friends or whatever it is that they are, and you’re Mitch: Got the champagne? going to end up alone. Alright? No girlfriend, no Dawson: Right here. (He almost drops it) friend, just completely and utterly alone. Think Mitch: Whoa! about it. I was right before, wasn’t I? Dawson: That was almost a disaster. Hey, guys, [Night. Pacey walks determinedly up to Dawson’s Buzz. house. He’s finally going to do this. He opens the Andie: Hey. screen door and is about to open the main door Buzz: Hey, Dawson. when Joey runs up behind him frantically, all out Andie: So where’s Joey? I thought she was of breath and very upset.] coming with you. Pacey: Hey, hey Jo, what’s wrong? (He hugs her) Dawson: She wanted to stop by the library first Joey: Look, Pacey. We can’t do this, okay? and plow through that Watergate history Pacey: Can’t do what? assignment. Joey: (frantic) I have to be the one to tell him, Jen: Oh, uh, speaking of which, I finally got okay? I mean, things are really complicated through All The President’s Men, so if you’d like between me and Dawson and it has nothing to do your tape back, I can return it now. with you, it’s just-(they go back outside) Look, it Dawson: Okay. I’ll come by and pick it up. What’d has to come from me or else it’s going to ruin you think? everything. Jen: Incredible movie. But, Henry didn’t feel as Pacey: Okay, okay. That’s okay. Just calm down, though there were enough cute teenage girls. Jo. It’s alright. We’ll do whatever you wanna do, Jack: Hey, don’t look now, but I think that’s the okay? I mean, if you wanna know the God’s captain of this vessel. honest truth, I’ve been in the process of Andie: Oh! (Pacey waves as he walks over) I chickening out the whole way over here. guess we can get started. Joey: Maybe it’s a sign, Pacey. Dawson: Not without this we can’t. (He goes to Pacey: A sign of what? Pacey with the champagne.) As promised. Joey: It’s just that for so long, he’s been Pacey: Whoa, champagne. Thank you. (Joey everything to me, Pacey. I mean, this guy has comes inconspicuously around the other side of been my family when I haven’t had one and he’s the boat house and the camera follows her as she the one person in my life that I can always depend joins the group as Pacey’s voice fades) Thanks, on. And this? This is gonna kill him! you know, but sparkling apple cider probably Pacey: (surveying her more carefully) You never would’ve worked just as well. had any intention of telling him, did you? You Jen: (to Joey) Hey. didn’t come over here tonight to tell him, you came Joey: Hey. here to stop me from telling him. [Later, Jen is at a phone booth. Joey stands next Joey: No. I tried to tell him. I went up there and I to her.] tried. Jen: No, Henry, if you come by around 2 o’clock, Pacey: (a little coldly) Of course you did. But let my Grams will be gone, alright? No, no, alright? me guess, you failed, right? I’m gonna take Joey to the library, I’m gonna give Dawson: I thought I heard something down here. Grams her car back and I will see you later. Okay, Joey: Dawson, uh, we were just— bye. Dawson: Having an argument. Obviously. What Joey: Thanks again for the ride, Jen. about? Jen: Oh, god, don’t worry about it. (They’re tongue tied) Joey: I was supposed to go by this morning, and I Pacey: Us, Dawson. (Joey looks at him fearfully got kinda busy. and he looks right back at her.) We were arguing Jen: You know, you don’t have to explain. Unless about us. Me and Joey, there’s an us here now. of course there’s something that you want to (Dawson looks coldly at them while Joey avoids explain. his eyes.) 180 Joey: Recently, you and I spoke about unrequited Joey: So what’s the problem? feelings that a certain someone- Andie: He’s not Pacey. (Joey’s face falls, but Jen: --Namely Pacey- Andie can’t see it since she’s standing behind her) Joey: Namely Pacey, may have had for me. And Ugh. Pathetic, I know! I know! And I thought I was how those unrequited feelings expressed over him, I really, really did, then I bumped into themselves in the form of a kiss. They’re not. him a little while ago and-I mean, technically we’re Unrequited, that is. They are actually very much friends, right? And that’s how I played it. But then requited. it’s like when I saw him, every irritating-slash- Jen: Okay, so you’ve kissed back a certain adorable thing he ever did flashed before my eyes someone, namely Pacey, and you’d like for that to and—I mean, that’s the true test, right? When you continue? just bump into somebody and if you’re not over Joey: I think so, I mean...yes. But the things is my them, then boom. Floodgates. feelings have been clouded by my fear of Dawson [Later. Outside the library. Joey’s walking quickly will do or say once he knows. away and almost walks right into Dawson.] Jen: Joey, if you’re asking me whether or not you Dawson: Hey! should tell Dawson, the answer’s a big fat yes. Joey: Dawson, uh— Joey: I know. We’re going to tell him. I mean, Dawson: Hurried much? Pacey’s going to do it today. And he wanted to, I Joey: Yeah, yeah, I just- I must’ve lost track of tried, I did, I tried plenty of times, it’s- It’s just that time. I was supposed to meet Bessie at home by when we tell him, Dawson gets hurt. And if I tell now Pacey not to tell him- Dawson: Okay, well I wondered- I was going to Jen: Pacey’s gonna get hurt. call you. Do you wanna do movie night some Joey: Yeah. So whatever I do, I’m the villain. I night? I’ve gotta help my mom with something, but mean, the girl’s always the villain, right? In stories I can pick up a movie on my way home. like these she’s always some wicked, conniving Joey: You know, I really don’t think I’ll be able to. whore who manipulates her way between two Maybe some other time, okay? brothers or two best friends. Dawson: Okay. Are you alright? Jen: Okay, Joey, keep in mind that most of those Joey: Oh yeah, I’m fine. I just-I have to, I have to, stories have been written by men. um, uh- Joey: I really wish I was more like you. Dawson: Go? Jen: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. Joey: Yes. I gotta go. Bye. Joey: You feel things and you act on them. Pacey Dawson: Alright. I’ll see ya. does the same thing. Fearless. Joey: Bye. (She walks away at top speed and he Jen: Alright, I’ll let you in on a little secret about watches her go.) the so-called fearless. We’re not as tough as you [The phone booth. Joey leaves a message for think we are. And Pacey’s heart can break just as Pacey on the ill-fated answering machine.] easily as the next guy. Maybe even more so Joey: Pacey? Doug? Okay, you’re not there. considering it was already broken when you got Look, Pacey, don’t do what you said you were there. going to do today, okay? Dawson’s not even [Library. Joey watches Pacey and Andie’s earlier home, I just kind of ran into him, and I think you conversation from above. She looks a little should wait. I think you should wait until you talk worried, but closes her eyes and shakes her head to me because I really think that I should be the thoughtfully.] one to tell him, okay? [Later. She looks through files on the computer. [Night. Joey runs up the dock to Dawson’s house. Andie taps her on the shoulder.] She climbs up the ladder and into his window. Andie: Hey, lady. Twenty minute time limit on Inside, Dawson is watching The Last Picture these things, right? Show.] Joey: I’m sorry Andie, I was just finishing up the Joey: Hey Watergate assignment. How about you? Dawson: You changed your mind Andie: Ugh. Nowhere near done. But I’m taking Joey: Kind of. I wanted to talk to you, Dawson. off anyway. I have a date tonight. Pacey hasn’t been here, has he? Joey: Will? Dawson: No, is he supposed to be? Andie: Yeah. I like him. I do, and he’s smart, way Joey: No, actually, no. What are you watching? smart, and he has no idea how cute he is, which Dawson: The Last Picture Show. is key cuz god save us from the ones who do, but- Joey: Isn’t that the movie we saw when- 181 Dawson: Our first date. Yup. Yes it is. It wasn’t at them while Joey avoids his eyes.) I’m sorry, exactly a successful evening, was it? At least, not man. We didn’t want to tell you this way. movie-wise Dawson: You didn’t tell me. Joey: What do you mean? Joey: (Joey’s eyes dart up.) You know, don’t you? Dawson: Well we never got to see the end. Dawson: I know. Joey: (she sits down) So how does it end, Joey: (voice over) Ever have one of those days Dawson? you wish you could live all over again? Dawson: Well, it’s three friends, they grew up with [The Christening. One more time.] each other. Jeff Bridges is in love with Cybill Andie: Oh hey look, there’s Dawson and his dad. Shepherd. And she dumps him and breaks his (Dawson and Mitch get out of their car and head heart and he’s devastated. And she’s not. (The towards the others) camera focuses on Joey’s hurt face) She just kind Mitch: Got the champagne? of moves on to the other guy and it destroys their Dawson: Right here. (He almost drops it) friendship and that’s pretty much how it ends. Mitch: Whoa! Everyone alone, everyone hating each other. (He Dawson: That was almost a disaster. Hey, guys. brightens a little) It’s really depressing, actually. I Andie: Hey. don’t know why I’m watching it. (He turns it off) So Dawson: Buzz. what did you wanna talk about? Buzz: Hey, Dawson. Joey: (She gets to her feet. She’s lost her Andie: So where’s Joey? I thought she was courage. She can’t do it.) You know, I just, I coming with you. actually just remembered that I promised Bessie Dawson: She wanted to stop by the library first that I would help watch Alexander tonight and and plow through that Watergate history she’s probably waiting for me, so-- (She goes out assignment. the window) Bye. (Back in the boathouse) [She goes around the side of the house and sees Pacey: Agreed? (he kisses her) Pacey going in as in the earlier scene. She runs Joey: (she doesn’t say anything at first, just after him and stops him before he gets to the kisses him again.) Agreed. (They kiss heavily.) door.] Pacey- Pacey: Hey, hey Jo, what’s wrong? He hugs her Pacey: What? Joey: Look, Pacey. We can’t do this, okay? Joey: You go first. I’ll catch up with you later. Pacey: Can’t do what? (More heavy kissing, then he leaves.) (Back on Joey: I have to be the one to tell him, okay? I the dock) mean, things are really complicated between me Jack: Hey, don’t look now, but I think that’s the and Dawson and it has nothing to do with you, it’s captain of this vessel. just-(They go back outside) Look, it has to come Andie: Oh! (Pacey waves as he walks over) I from me or else it’s going to ruin everything. guess we can get started. (Up in Dawson’s room, he hears their voices Dawson: Not without this we can’t. (He goes to through the open window and looks up. He goes Pacey with the champagne) As promised. to the window and looks out at them for a Pacey: Whoa, champagne. (Joey comes moment.) inconspicuously around the other side of the boat Joey: No, that’s not true, Pacey. I tried to tell him. house) You know, sparkling apple cider probably I went up there and I tried. would’ve worked just as well, Dawson. Pacey: Of course you did. But let me guess, you Dawson: Not for this occasion, man. This is a failed, right? monumental accomplishment! You took Dawson: I thought I heard something down here. something that was destined for the scrap heap (They both look up to see him standing behind the and managed to turn it, not only into a thing of screen door.) beauty, but also a viable mode of transportation. Joey: Dawson, uh, we were just (Pacey laughs bashfully) Dawson: (He comes outside.) Having an Jack: Witter, come on, man. Let’s get the show on argument. Obviously. What about? the road. (Joey’s flustered and searches for an answer.) Pacey: I’ll be right there, man. Dawson, you Pacey: Us. (Joey looks at him fearfully and he gonna be home after all this? looks right back at her.) We were arguing about Dawson: Yeah. For a little bit. I’ve gotta work us. There’s an us here now. (Dawson looks coldly later.

182 Pacey: Cool. (he goes over to the others by the Dawson: I think I might try and hook up with an boat) Alright, well look, I know you guys are all on old friend. tight schedules so I’m gonna keep this thing short. [Jen’s front porch. Henry’s leaning on the door, (as he walks by her, Joey looks down) It’s a while Jen sits on the bench.] beautiful day and all. Henry: So I’m really not allowed in the house? (Dawson comes and stands next to Joey.) Jen: Sorry. According to Grams, you’re public Joey: (to Dawson) Hey. enemy #1. Pacey: First and foremost I should probably thank Henry: Well, what if I have to use the bathroom? Hurricane Chris for enabling a poor shlub like me Or the phone? What if you start to choke and I to actually afford a boat like this, but secondly and need to call 911? (He comes and sits beside her) more importantly, I’d like to thank everybody who Jen: Well, then we’ll just have to consult an pitched in. Everybody who scraped and sanded etiquette book from 1955. (He begins to forcefully and polished and painted and otherwise helped kiss her neck. She laughs) What are you doing? out to get this boat back in the water. Some of Henry: I don’t know. Stuff. course did that more willingly than others. (He (Her smile fades as she sees Dawson coming gives Buzz a pointed glance. Buzz smiles.) So towards the house. She remembers what Pacey without further ado, I christen for you True Love. and Joey have told her. They were going to tell (He breaks the bottle on the side of the boat. Dawson. She realizes that he’s probably coming Everyone cheers and applauds.) seeking comfort.) [Later. In the library. Dawson sees Will through Jen: You know what, Henry? Why don’t you go the shelves, looking around.] inside? Dawson: Will? Henry: You just told me I couldn’t. Will: Hey. Dawson, hey. Um, look, I was Jen: Well, I changed my mind. wondering if you could help me out. I’m looking for Henry: But- some secret room Andie says is like ideal for Jen: I know, it’s okay. (She pushes Henry inside studying. and closes the door. She meets Dawson with a Dawson: She probably means the genealogy look of concern.) Hey. room. It’s usually dead in there. Dawson: I’m sorry I can come back if it’s a bad Will: Cool. I guess I’ll try that. time. Dawson: Good luck. Jen: Oh god no, no. I was expecting you to come Will: (he starts to walk away, then comes back) by anyway. Hey, Dawson. What did you and Joey do on your Dawson: Okay. first date? Jen: How you doing? You alright? Dawson: Excuse me? Dawson: Yeah. Good. Will: You know, if you don’t want to tell me. Jen: You know, if you wanna just come inside and Dawson: No, it’s fine, I’m just kind of surprised. hang out with Henry and I, we could use a It’s a left-field quesiton. chaperone. Will: Yeah, but not if you just asked someone out. Dawson: Well, as tempting as that sounds, I think Dawson: Andie? I’m just gonna go watch a movie, relive better Will: Yeah. So what should I do? days. Dawson: Well, Joey and I went to the movies Jen: I know this must seem like the hardest thing which is a really terrible idea because you can’t in the world right now, but you know what, in the talk to the person, you can’t even really look at long run it’s better that Pacey told you. them. Dawson: (confused) Told me what? (Jen realizes Will: So what would you suggest? her mistake) Jen, told me what? Dawson: There’s always the creek. The night sky Jen: Nothing. overhead, moonlight reflected on the water. It’s Dawson: If it’s nothing, then why we you so one of those thing that’s achieved cliché status concerned about me? because it actually is romantic. Jen: No, I wasn’t concerned, I was thinking that— Will: Oh. Where would I get a boat? Dawson: Yes you were, you were concerned Dawson: My house. because you assumed Pacey told me something. Will: You sure? Told me what, Jen? (She looks away. He gets a Dawson: You know where it is. Just come by and little worried) Okay, you know, the fact that you’re get it. unwilling to answer my question speaks volumes. Will: Great. So, what are you up to tonight? (He thinks and it all begins to come together.) It 183 has to do with Joey, doesn’t it? (Her face says it everyone hating each other. (He gives her a all) It does, doesn’t it? pointed look, but she’s not looking at him. His Jen: God, I’m so sorry. words are rueful) It’s pretty depressing, actually. I Dawson: You’ve known about this? don’t know why I’m watching it. (He turns it off and Jen: Dawson, it wasn’t my place to say anything, looks at her) So what was it you wanted to talk alright? I didn’t want to interfere I wanted to about? (He knows what’s coming, wants to see if protect you. (He goes out the door) Dawson, she can actually go through with saying it) Dawson wait, stop. Say something, please. Joey: (She gets to her feet) You know, I just, I Dawson: I’m fine, alright? I’m fine. actually just remembered that I promised Bessie Jen: No. that I would help watch Alexander tonight and Dawson: I’m fine. she’s probably waiting for me, so-- (She goes out Jen: No, you are not fine. Dawson, what can I the window) Bye. say? What can I do? (He watches her go out the window, his gaze Dawson: You can do me the same favor that you lingering after she’s gone. Then, slowly, that did then, you can keep this to yourself. (over his control he’s had fades. He chokes a little and shoulder as he walks away) Thanks for protecting begins to breathe quickly, on the verge of tears. me. (Jen sighs and closes her eyes) He still can’t believe it, but every word she said [Later. In the safety of his room, Dawson falls verifies what he could only hope wasn’t true) back on his bed and stares at the ceiling in [Later, out on the front porch, he opens the door, disbelief, trying to make sense of what he’s just seeing the fight between Pacey and Joey we’ve learned.] seen twice before.] [Later. He’s watching the movie, just like before. Joey: No, that’s not true, Pacey. I tried to tell him. Except we realize that he’s watching it for a very I went up there and I tried. different reason than we initially thought. The two Pacey: Of course you did. But let me guess, you men on screen are arguing about the girl they failed, right? (Dawson watches them, hand in both love. Dawson watches with a set face. He hand, for a long time, then takes a deep breath, looks over when Joey comes inside. It’s the same gathering his courage. We skip forward to later in scene we’ve seen earlier, except all of Dawson’s their conversation.) words and expressions seem to take on a whole Pacey: I’m sorry, man. We didn’t want to tell you new meaning now that we realize he knows.] this way. Dawson: You changed your mind Dawson: You didn’t tell me. Joey: Kind of. I wanted to talk to you, Dawson. Joey: (Joey’s eyes dart up.) You know, don’t you? Pacey’s not here, is he? Dawson: Yeah, I know. So were you planning on Dawson: No, is he supposed to be? telling me or was this just going to be a secret Joey: No. What are you watching anyway? fling? Dawson: The Last Picture Show. Joey: It’s not like that. Joey: Isn’t that the movie that we saw when- Dawson: Then how was it, Joey, because Jen Dawson: Our first date. Yup. Yes it is. (He’s able was a little short on details to manage a smile and chuckles a little bit.) It Joey: She told you? wasn’t exactly a successful evening, was it? At Dawson: Well she thought I knew. I mean, I had least, not movie-wise. to be pretty frickin stupid not to know, right? That Joey: What do you mean? the two people I trusted most in the world were Dawson: Well we never got to see the end. lying to me? So are you- are you bored? Are you Joey: (she sits down) So how does it end, confused? Or just malicious? Dawson? Pacey: Hey, look, I started this thing, okay? If Dawson: (this time, we see Dawson’s face as he you’re going to get angry at somebody, you get tries his best to maintain his composure, telling angry at me. It’s not her- the story he’s all too familiar with) Well, it’s three Dawson: I don’t think you’re in any position to talk friends, they grew up with each other. Jeff Bridges about what’s fair. You were my best friend. is in love with Cybill Shepherd. And she dumps Pacey: I still am. him and breaks his heart and he’s completely Dawson: I’m finding that a little hard to process devastated. And turns out she’s not. She just kind right now. of moves on to the other guy and that destroys Pacey: It’s the truth, Dawson. their friendship. It’s never the same after that. And that’s how the movie ends. Everyone alone, 184 Dawson: So I guess it’s safe to assume that Henry: What did I do that was so terrible? friendship doesn’t come above sex in your list of Jen: Don’t you even want to know what just personal priorities. happened? Pacey: This has nothing to do with sex. Henry: Maybe I don’t. Maybe for once, I want to Dawson: Oh what, are you in love? Is that what put us before whatever little mini-drama you and this is? Don’t look at her, alright? You know what, your friends have whipped up this week. Pacey? I feel sorry for you. Because when all this Jen: Okay. You know, why don’t you leave? (She is over you are really gonna need your friends and opens the door) I’m not kidding. Leave. you are not gonna have any. You are not gonna Henry: Now you’re being irrational. have a single one. Jen: No, no, just irritated. Irrational is when I get (He goes back towards the house. Will and Andie violent which is going to happen in two seconds if come up from behind Pacey and Joey, just back you don’t get your horny freshman ass out of from their moonlight row.) here. (He leaves) Andie: Hey, guys, what’s going on? [Night. Will and Andie are having their moonlight Dawson: (All three turn around, a little stunned) row on the creek] Why don’t you ask Pacey? Ask him how long he Will: A little much, maybe? For a first date? and Joey have been sneaking around behind my Andie: No, no, I mean, it’s beautiful. back. Or better yet, you can ask Joey, ask her Will: Come on, admit it. I did kind of go- how long she has been lying to me and to you. Go Andie: Overboard? ahead, ask them, because I can’t stand to look at Will: Yeah. Plan B. Pretend we’re not on a date. them. (He storms inside.) Andie: Okay, um, you’re rowing us across a body [Back on Jen’s porch, as Dawson is walking away, of water, what do you want me to pretend? Like just like we saw it earlier.] this is something from Greek mythology? Jen: Wait, Dawson wait, stop. Say something, Will: Orpheus and Eurydice. Do you know that please. one? They were a couple of kids, totally in love, Dawson: I’m fine, alright? I’m fine. but then she died. Snakebite. He couldn’t deal so Jen: No. being the ancient world’s most kick-ass musician, Dawson: I’m fine. he goes to the underworld, located the proper Jen: No, you are not fine. Dawson, what can I authorities and played for them. All about say? What can I do? Eurydice and how he had to have her back. Dawson: You can do me the same favor that you Andie: And? What happens? did then, you can keep this to yourself, alright? Will: It worked. But there was one condition. He (over his shoulder as he walks away) Thanks for wasn’t allowed to look at her until they were back protecting me. in their own world so they sat out, as they were (She watches him go, upset at herself, closes her just about to make it, he looked back. eyes. Henry comes out of the house.) Andie: So she died all over again? Henry: So, where were we? Will: He went to grab for her, all he got was air. Jen: I just did the most awful thing. [Later. Just as Will and Andie are walking in on Henry: It couldn’t have been that awful. Dawson’s fight with Pacey and Joey.] Jen: No, believe me, it was. I totally screwed up, I Andie: Hey, guys, what’s going on? accidentally told Dawson something he wasn’t Dawson: (All three turn around, a little stunned) supposed to know and really hurt his feelings in Why don’t you ask Pacey? Ask him how long he the process. and Joey have been sneaking around behind my Henry: But you didn’t mean to do it. back. Or better yet, ask Joey, ask her how long Jen: Yeah, but it’s still my fault. I mean, I’m the she has been lying to you and to me. Go ahead, one who messed up, it’s like- (Henry starts to kiss ask them, because I can’t even stand to look at her. She pulls away) No. I’m not sure what you’re them anymore. (He storms inside. Joey goes after doing right now but it’s not helping matters any. him.) Henry: That’s because you’re not giving it a Andie: So is this true, Pacey? You and Joey? chance. Pacey: Yes. (He tries to kiss her again) Andie: (half laughing) I don’t know what to say. Jen: I mean it. Pacey: (distracted) Me neither. Henry: I was just trying to make you feel better. Andie: (on the verge of tears) You must really you Jen: No, you’re not. You’re trying to make yourself know, to give up your friendship with Dawson, to feel better. give up everything- God, how could you be so 185 stupid, Pacey? You know you’re gonna get hurt. Dawson: As of this moment, we do not have a She is never gonna love you like she loves him, friendship okay? He is her first love, Pacey, her first love. Joey: That is not fair! (She sighs in frustration and walks away. Will Dawson: You can’t have both of us! You can’t shrugs to Pacey and goes after her.) have him as your boyfriend and me as your [Back inside the house. Dawson goes into his consolation prize. You’re going to have to make a room with Joey on his heels, both yelling at each choice. And I’m telling you right now, if you other.] choose him, I’m not gonna be around to pick up Joey: I didn’t intend for this to happen, Dawson. the pieces when it falls apart. This ruins Dawson: What you intended does not provide me everything. There is no going back. any solace. What? Do- do you love him? Are you- Joey: Okay. What do you want me to say? Tell Do you just want to sleep with him? me what you want me to say? What do you want Joey: No, how could you say that. I- to hear? Dawson: It’s what he’s going to expect. Dawson: I don’t want you to say anything. I want Joey: We’re not together, Dawson. And we you to leave. (He goes out of the room) (She haven’t been for a long time, almost a whole year stands there for a while sadly, then goes out the has gone- window) Dawson: Is this a punishment? [Later, in his bedroom, Dawson sits on the Joey: No, I’m not punishing you! windowsill. Jen enters, knocking softly on the door Dawson: Are you punishing me because I didn’t frame] want to get back together with you? Jen: Hell of a day, huh? Joey: Why would you think that I would- Dawson: I have no desire to rewind and live it Dawson: Then why, Joey, why? You keep on again, if that’s what you mean. saying that you wanna go find yourself, is this Jen: You shouldn’t be alone right now. what you’ve been looking for the whole time? Is Dawson: Well I am alone, I might as well get used Pacey what you’ve been looking for? to it. Joey: No! Jen: You’re not alone, Dawson, don’t ever think Dawson: Then explain it to me, Joey, explain to that. me how two people who can barely stand to be in Dawson: Jen, why didn’t you tell me? the same room with each other end up outside my Jen: Dawson, if two people are on a crash course window arguing about the future of their for each other and you throw yourself in between, relationship. it’s only going to bring them that much closer. Joey: I can’t, okay? I can’t explain it. It happened. Dawson: So what am I supposed to do now, am I Everything between you and me is so supposed to just accept this? Supposed to just complicated. wake up tomorrow like nothing’s changed? Dawson: Joey, if things between us are Jen: You just have to let things run their course complicated it’s because you made them that way, and you have to let her decide what it is that she okay? Do you think that whatever was wrong really wants. when you were with me is just going to magically Dawson: I can’t let her go. get better when you’re with him? Jen: What else can you do? Joey: (Half laughing, half crying) I don’t know, Dawson: You can fight. You can fight for what Dawson. I don’t know, okay? I just know that I- I you want. (Jen places her hand on his knee) need him. [Later. Back on the dock by Pacey’s boat. He’s Dawson: Do you need him like you need me? sitting on the railing forlornly when Joey finds him. (She doesn’t answer) Joey, it’s a simple question, They look at each other gravely. They both know do you need him like you need me? what has to happen, but are scared to actually Joey: You can’t do that, Dawson. You can’t. verbalize it. When they do speak, it’s almost a Those two things have nothing to do with each whisper.] other and you know that. The way that I feel about Joey: Ever have one of those days you wish you him is completely separate from the way that I feel could live all over again? about you and our friendship. Pacey: Yeah. You? Dawson: Friendship, Joey, right now, we don’t Joey: Yeah. have a friendship. We don’t have a friendship right Pacey: So what would you have done differently? now. Joey: What? 186 Joey: I don’t know. Everything. Nothing at all. Joey: (she bites her lip) Pacey- We’d still end up right back here. And I don’t think Pacey: It’s over, isn’t it? I know where here is. Joey: (she nods, tearfully) It has to be. Pacey: Here is right where we started. Pacey: (sniffs) Maybe you should be the first one Joey: (She nods They both look out at the True to go this time. Love) Well she looks beautiful in the water. (She nods, trying to hold back the tears and finally Pacey: This morning was really just a formality. I gets up and leaves. Pacey looks away as a tear still don’t know if she’s seaworthy. falls down his cheek. She walks slowly a little Joey: She looks pretty solid. ways, then stops, and looks back towards Pacey: I don’t know. I think I see some stormy him...but he’s not there, all that’s left is air.. Ending weather ahead. Credits.)

187 Show Me Love

(Collage of scenes: In Dawson’s bedroom at night (Dawson walks away as Joey remains staring at he sits in a chair and stairs at the painting his aunt her wall) gave him of Joey and Dawson as kids; Joey (Capeside Docks: People are walking along the stands and stares at the wall Pacey leased for her street—A sign proclaims this to be the “Capeside to paint; Pacey sprays water on his now Regatta 2000” - Gale flattens out a “Leery’s Fresh seaworthy boat “True Love” as it rests by the Fish” yacht flag on a table outside the restaurant) dock; Jen opens her front door to see Henry in the Mitch: (walking up behind Gale) Mrs Leery, you front yard holding a cardboard sign with the words are looking particularly lovely this tourist season. “Jen Lindley: would you please forgive me” and Gale: (turns to face him) Is it just my imagination, then goes back inside; Henry puts the sign down or did this year go by even faster than the last? and looks distraught; Dawson walks the corridors Mitch: Each year gets exponentially shorter. of Capeside High, he sees Pacey, pauses, then Gale: Which is why we should be making each keeps walking; Pacey has seen Dawson walk right day count, right? past and shuts his locker, then walks away (Mitch looks uneasy and then notices the flag on shaking his head; Joey is looking for a table in the the table) school cafeteria... first she sees Dawson who Mitch: (protesting) Gale, I- I can believe this- looks away... next she sees Pacey at another Gale: Relax, we made this arrangement with table who also looks away... Jack is at a third Pacey weeks ago. table and smiles at Joey but then Joey sees Andie Mitch: Yeah, but in light of what’s happened- next to Jack, so finally decides to sit by herself) Gale: It’s just a boat race. One that we could very (Joey sits in the vacant lot staring up at her much benefit from. unpainted wall - Dawson approaches and stands (Dawson exits the restaurant and begins walking beside her) over to Mitch and Gale) Joey: You know what, if you came here to discuss Mitch: I’m not sure Dawson will see it that way. me and Pacey, you’re wasting your breath Dawson: See “what” what way? because- (He sees the flag on the table) Dawson: Pacey is the last person I want to talk Dawson: What’s the flag? about, trust me. (he kneels next to Joey) I came Gale: A month ago we offered to sponsor Pacey here to talk about us. (Joey looks at him in the Regatta, honey. expectantly) Joey, I want you in my life. Dawson: Oh. (Joey considers this for a minute) Gale: We needed publicity, he wanted a sponsor. Joey: Pacey? We thought the two of you would be doing it Dawson: That damage has been done. I came to together, but with what’s happened, we don’t salvage the one relationship that I need more than expect you to want to do that. any other, and that’s ours. Dawson: (somewhat sarcastic) I appreciate your Joey: How? concern. Dawson: Jo, let’s rebuild. Let’s... take a walk, let’s Mitch: Dawson, you’re more important than the have a picnic, watch a movie... restaurant. (placing his hand on Dawson’s Joey: After everything that’s happened, how shoulder) We’ll pull out of the race. could I possibly climb that ladder into your Dawson: You don’t have to do that. I mean, if it’s bedroom and watch a movie? important to mom and the restaurant, it’s fine. Dawson: I’m not asking you to disregard what’s Gale: Look honey, I’m not trying to defend Pacey happened here, I’m asking let’s move forward here, but I would just hate to see you lose your from here. best friend. (Joey’s eyebrows furrow and contorts her lips in Dawson: (shrugs shoulders) I’m fine. Alright? I’ll thought) even take the banner to him myself. Joey: You know what? All I want to do right now (Dawson takes the banner and walks away Dawson, is- is paint my wall. towards the docks) Dawson: Well, it’s a free-standing invitation. (Pacey’s boat - Pace’s friend Will stands forward Anytime you want. (standing) You know where I in the boat while Pacey stands near the wheel - live. Dawson approaches the boat, leans over and hands the banner to Pacey)

188 Dawson: It’s for you. (Jen mouths the words) for the Women’s League Pacey: Thanks. (he unfolds it) You know, I could since 1953. Sharing it with you young people is have come up and got this from your parents. very exciting. Dawson: (a little icily) It’s no problem. Jack: (throws a flower on the table in frustration) Pacey: Look, Dawson, if you want me to drop out You know, it’s moments like this I’m convinced I’m of this race, you’re gonna have to ask me yourself. straight. (he sits in a chair) Dawson: (shrugs shoulders) Do whatever you Grams: Oh, come now, (she tries putting a flower want, Pace. behind Jack’s ear) how often do you get a chance Pacey: (holds up flag) I’m only doing this to help to create such a jubilant public display? your mother. (the girls giggle) Dawson: The way you helped Joey? Andie: Oh, it looks like we’re not the only one’s Pacey: (sighs) Look, you wanna stay angry? Stay creating a public display. (she points with a flower) angry. It really doesn’t matter to me any more. I’m Jen: What? just glad it’s finally directed at the right person. (Jen looks to where Andie has pointed and sees Dawson: Save it, Pacey. You know, everyone Henry through the flyscreen door standing in the else might buy this chivalrous self-deprecating front yard still holding his “forgive me” sign - Jen crap... I don’t. closes her eyes in embarrassment) (Dawson shakes his head and walks away) Jen: Oh my God, could this possibly be more (Capeside Regatta - Joey and Bessie walk embarrassing? How long can he last? towards the boat race registration table) Jack: (smiling) How long has he been doing this Joey: (a little petulant) I’m not doing it. anyway? Bessie: You have to, it’s good PR. Jen: For like a week. He stood outside our Joey: It’s humiliating. window for over an hour yesterday. Bessie: If you don’t cook and serve pancakes at Grams: (leans over to Jack) In the rain. the race registration table, how are people gonna Jack: Exactly what unspeakably crime is he know it’s being sponsored by the Potter B&B? asking forgiveness for? Joey: I’ll tell them. Jen: I defended Henry to Grams, saying that he- Bessie: Look, if you’d rather go home and scrub he wasn’t a typical teenage boy with a one-track the toilets, or make the beds, or- (she sees Pacey mind. hoisting the “Leery’s Fresh Fish” flag on his boat) Andie: (grouping together a bunch of flowers) That’s the last thing I expected to see on Pacey’s And? boat. Jen: Typical teenage boy... one-track mind. (Joey looks at the flag and smiles, looking hopeful Grams: I don’t know what you expect. All healthy that Dawson and Pacey have made up) normal boys want the same thing. Bessie: It’s a good sign. Are they talkin’ again? Jen: (suspicious) OK, what are you getting at? Joey: (enthused) Hopefully. Grams: My point is... to err is human, to forgive... Bessie: Did you mend any fences yet? divine. Hasn’t he paid enough penance? Joey: Well, Dawson came by the other day and (Jen looks at Grams and then they both look at wanted to know if I wanted to spend some time Henry standing holding his sign) with him. (Capeside Regatta - Dawson walks with Andie Bessie: To which you said... ? and Jack who each carry a flower wreath) Joey: I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right, you know? Jack: Dawson, how do you remember our dad Dawson and I becoming friends again while he has a boat? I don’t even remember our dad has a and Pacey- boat. Bessie: Let Dawson and Pacey take care of Dawson: The question is: is he using it this Dawson and Pacey. They’re big boys, they’ll work weekend? it out. Besides, you saw the banner. (it flaps wildly Andie: Well, considering the fact that he takes it in the breeze) Maybe they already have. out about once or twice a year, Memorial Day and (Jen’s house - Jen and Andie sit at the kitchen Labour Day, I would guess the answer’s no. table which is covered with tons of flowers - Jack Dawson: Perfect. So... you think I can borrow it? and Grams stand at the table, Grams holding a Jack: (laughs at the very thought) No, no, I don’t just completed flower wreath) think that’s a very good idea. Grams: Oh, isn’t this thrilling, the start of a new Dawson: Why not? tradition? Fashioning the Regatta winner’s Jack: ‘Cause pieces of the last boat you borrowed wreaths has always been my sole responsibility are still floating around the creek, that’s why. 189 (Andie has attached her wreath to a post) Dawson: It’s been taken care of. (he hands Joey Dawson: Look, I really need a sail boat, OK? I’ve the envelope) entered the Regatta. (Joey looks concerned) Jack: Isn’t Pacey racing? Dawson: Your sister’s pretty psyched about the Dawson: Yeah. idea. Jack: So don’t you think, uh, pistols at dawn Joey: (trying to cover up) She was! would be more suitable, not to mention romantic Dawson: Joey, a victory, however slim my chance way to settle this thing? might be, would guarantee the Potter B&B Andie: Look, what is the problem with Dawson covered the tourist brochure. You guys would be seizing the day, OK? I mean, Pacey most certainly booked the whole season. did. Joey: Look Dawson, I really don’t think this is a Dawson: It’s not about Pacey, it’s about Joey. good idea. Alright, look. I spent the last two months laying on Dawson: It’s not what you think, alright? All I want my bed staring at empty walls. It’s no wonder Joey to do is help. If I needed help, you’d be there for got away from me. This is my chance to actually me, right? show her how much I care. You gotta help me. Joey: Dawson- Jack: It’s not right. Dawson: Course you would. (holding out pen) So, Andie: No, Jack. You know, I’ll tell you what’s not sign me up, and wish me luck. right. Watching the person you love throw (Capeside Regatta - Bessie approaches Joey at everything away so they can be with someone the boat registration table) else. Listening to them lie to your face day after Bessie: OK, before you get mad at me- day. That’s not right. So if you’re not going to help Joey: (turns angrily to face Bessie) You know Dawson, I will. what, you’re about 300 hotcakes and one Jack: (sighs resignedly and nods) Alright. sponsored sail too late for that, Bessie. (she turns (Capeside Regatta - Dawson walks up to the race back to her hotcakes) registration table where Joey is serving pancakes) Bessie: He begged to enter the race on our Joey: (sees Dawson) Hey! behalf. Are we really in a position to turn down Dawson: Hey. free advertising? Joey: (putting a pancake onto a plastic plate) Joey: (turn to face Bessie again) It’s not free! OK? Would you like to sample a homemade Potter Dawson may have put down the cash, but you’re B&B hotcake? obligating me- Dawson: (taking it) Yes ma’am, I believe I would. Bessie: To what? Appreciate his friendship? Thank you. Joey: This isn’t about friendship. Dawson wants Joey: Thank you, Dawson. to be Pacey. Dawson: (smiling) You heard already. Bessie: Well, if two boys want to compete on our Joey: (smiles back) Well, I had to admit, I had my behalf, I say let ‘em race. doubts about whether or not things would get Joey: This was supposed to stop. I mean, we better, but when I saw your restaurant’s banner on broke it off and it was all just supposed to stop. Pacey’s boat, I- I just felt this huge sense of relief. Bessie: (hands on hips) What did you expect, Jo? Dawson: That’s what you’re thanking me for? That you would end things with Pacey and all of a Joey: (confused) Yeah. sudden things are just gonna go back to the way Dawson: I thought that somebody had told you they were? That’s the hardest part about being an already. adult, sis... your actions have consequences, Joey: Told me what? forcing life to constantly move forward. Why do Dawson: (crosses arms and looks smug) I’m you think they call it “growing up”? entering the boat race. Joey: Well since you’re such an expert grown up, Joey: This boat race? do you have any advice? Dawson: Hm-hmm. Bessie: Accept the consequences, and do Joey: Well who’s your sponsor? something to make things better. Dawson: You are. (Andie’s bedroom - Andie sits at her desk in front Joey: What? of her i-Mac - there is a knock on her door) Dawson: I’m being sponsored by the Potter B&B. Andie: (sings out) Come in. Joey: Dawson, we can’t afford the entry fee. Will: (opens the door and steps inside) I, uh, hope (Dawson takes out an envelope from his pocket you don’t mind. Jack let me in. that has the entry fee) 190 Andie: (smiling) No. So is Dawson still downstairs Jack: Where the hell’s the gyp sheet? with him going over “Sailing for Dummies”? Mitch: You’re standing on it. Will: Actually, they’re, uh, heading out to get Jack: OK, you know what? Maybe I should go some hands-on experience. back to helping Grams, I might live a little longer. Andie: Hmm. Looks like you and Pacey will have Mitch: (stepping aboard) What are you doing? some competition after all. Dawson: Well, I’m trying to get out on the water Will: Yeah, but that’s not why I came here. I got before the fireworks start. some really good news. That scholarship to Mitch: Looks like you guys could use a little help. (Rharely?)... it came through. Dawson: Well, dad, everyone who knows what Andie: (jumps out of her chair, rushes over and they’re doing is in the race already. hugs him) Will, that’s fantastic. Mitch: Not everyone. Will: It’s amazing, isn’t it? I finally caught a break. Dawson: Or sponsoring a boat. Andie: And now you don’t have to worry about Mitch: No, the restaurant is sponsoring Pacey. I, your dad any more, and that’s great. on the other hand, am still available. Will: Yeah, but... Pacey. I’m kinda worried about Dawson: (sighs) Look dad, the last thing I want to him. do is divide the Leery household even more. Andie: (scoffs) Yeah, well, Pacey and Joey Mitch: Any worthwhile relationship has to endure brought this situation on themselves, alright? (she some conflict, don’t you think, Dawson? sits back at her desk) Dawson: (smiles, relieved) If you’re saying you’d Will: Why, because they developed feelings for like to lend a hand, we’d be more than happy to each other and had the guts to do something accept. about it? Mitch: Sure. Andie: Is that the way you see this, Will? (Will (Dawson goes forward and raises the Potter B&B takes a seat opposite Andie) We were all friends. banner on the boat) Will: They didn’t set out to hurt you. (Joey sees the Potter B&B banner being raised Andie: Yeah, well once upon a time I didn’t set and frowns - she turns and sees Pacey who also out to hurt Pacey either, but he offered me no sees the banner - Pacey begins to walk away and forgiveness, and our relationship came to a earth- Joey follows) shattering halt. (sighs) Now things are never Joey: Look Pacey, this wasn’t my idea. I didn’t gonna be the way they were. ask him to do it, but I mean, you know Dawson, Will: If you can’t let go of all this anger, Andie, once he gets something in his mind... (she holds they probably never will. And instead of you being out her hands)... I’m sorry. this warm-hearted and cheerful person that I met Pacey: (speaks in a quiet, yet upset tone) If it on spring break, you’ll just end up being the kind wasn’t your idea, why are you apologising? of person that- that I feel sorry for. (Andie turns Joey: Because you’re obviously upset. away, upset) And I know you’re better than that. Pacey: I’m “upset” because we haven’t spoken in (Mr McPhee’s boat - Jack stands on the boat and two weeks, and now finally do, the first words out Dawson stands on the dock pulling it closer until it of your mouth, as per usual, are about Dawson. hits the dock and Jack hits his head - the name of Joey: Well this conversation is just about to get the boat is Carpe Diem, Latin for “Seize the Day”) harder, Pacey. Jack: Dawson! God. Pacey: (nods, knowing what Joey is about to ask) Dawson: (jumps onto to boat) You OK? You You want me to drop out too? alright? (Joey just looks at her feet and doesn’t reply) Jack: Um... Pacey: Wow, Dawson Leery couldn’t have Dawson: OK, so it doesn’t happen again, tie the scripted this one any better, could he? rope to the thing. Joey: What do you mean? Jack: (still rubbing his head) What the hell is the Pacey: Don’t you get it? No matter what I do, he “thing”? wins. If I drop out, he wins. If I stay in the race, I’m Dawson: (pointing) The metal thing. forced into direct competition with the guy. (voice Jack: Yeah, that helps, Popeye. starts to rise) And if I actually win, I don’t actually Mitch: (stands on the dock) It’s called the aft beat him, I beat you. So guess who really wins winch. And if you don’t tighten that gyp sheet, and there? secure your tiller... it’s not gonna be pretty. Joey: (sighs) Well- maybe you could talk to him, Dawson: Ok, I got the tiller, you get the gyp try to work it out- sheet, alright? 191 Pacey: Yeah, we tried that. He doesn’t really want Jen: Why? to talk to me right now, and when he does, it’s not Henry: For you. I want you to know how really entirely civil. sorry I am. Joey: (looking pained at having to ask) Could you (they walk over to the little area Henry has try again, Pacey, please? created) Pacey: Yeah... if that’s what you want. (pauses) If Jen: I know, you just- that’s all that you want. Henry: I told you. But I wanna show you too. I can Joey: (pauses) That is all that I want. do more than just talk. Pacey: (nods) OK. OK, that’s what I’ll do. (they sit down and lean against the wall) Joey: Thank you, Pacey. Jen: I know that you can. And you can listen too, Pacey: (whispers) Yeah. which is- which is why I got so upset. (Joey turns and begins walking away) Henry: ‘Cause I stopped hearing you. Pacey: (calls out) Hey Potter? Jen: (nods) Yeah. (Joey stops and turns) Henry: I promise that will never happen again. Pacey: Nice talkin’ to ya. I’m- I’m glad we didn’t rush into having sex. (they both turn and walk away in opposite Jen: (surprised) Really? directions, both looking miserable) Henry: Well, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I think (Leery’s Fresh Fish restaurant - Jen stands at a about it pretty much every time I breathe in or out. table where two customers are seated) (Jen smiles) I can tell you I’m going to stop Jen: (handing over menus) And somebody will be wanting you so badly, that I get a little crazy with you shortly to take your drink orders. Enjoy sometimes, but... I don’t want to be like every your evening. other guy in your life, Jen. I want everything we do Gale: (grabs Jen just as she begins to walk away to be new, something you’ve never done before. from the table - she speaks in hushed tones) OK, Jen: I have definitely never had a picnic on a roof a few hours ago Henry was cute and endearing, before. now he’s getting into annoying and psychotic. (they kiss) (Jen looks over her shoulder and sees Henry still Henry: From now on, I’m going to do everything in holding his “forgive me” sign) my power to be the most original person in your Jen: Oh my God, I am so sorry, I didn’t think he life. would last this long. Jen: (smiles) Henry Parker, you already are. Gale: Honey, this is getting ridiculous. This is our (they begin to kiss again) busiest weekend. Not only is he distracting the (Docks - Dawson walks along the docks - he customers, but he’s blocking the view. walks past a spot where Pacey had been hidden (exasperated) Go talk to him, throw a net over from view - Pacey stands) him, I don’t care, just drag him away, get him Pacey: What are you trying to prove? away from my restaurant. Dawson: (stops and turns) I was trying to help (Jen goes over and drags Henry away) Joey. (Rooftop of Leery’s Fresh Fish restaurant - Jen Pacey: (jumps over the railing and walks up to and Henry emerge onto the roof) Dawson) Look man, why don’t you just take a Jen: Alright, look, I’ve already accepted your swing at me? I mean, honestly, just take a poke. apology, I don’t understand why you’re making me Get it over with, save both of us a lot of time and come up to the roof. trouble, wouldn’t involve our friends. Henry: I wanna show you something. Dawson: Or our family. Jen: (stepping out onto the roof) Will you promise Pacey: Do you think indulging yourself in some to drop that whole sign thing, right? James Dean meets Grease Lightening fantasy Henry: I promise. that you’re actually gonna prove you’re a better Jen: Yeah, well I hope so, because you’re rapidly man than I am? approaching the point where I- Dawson: I don’t have to prove that. You made (Jen turns and sees rose petals lining a pathway that clear when you moved in on Joey. to the corner of the roof which it lit by dozens of Pacey: For the very last time, Dawson, I made a candles and blankets - it looks very cosy and mistake. inviting) Dawson: (nods in agreement) Hmm-mm. Jen: (in wonder) Henry. You did all this? Pacey: I thought you of all people would Henry: Well, the- the town organised the understand someone falling for Joey Potter. festivities, I just did the roof part. 192 Dawson: (scoffs) Are you delusional enough to Grams: (scoffs) Oh! Is that the fashionable believe that you actually have something real with euphemism bandied about on “MTV” these days... Joey? “losing track of time”? Pacey: Well if I do, it’s because of her own free Jen: (confused) I thought that you’d be happy. I will. mean, it was your advice that compelled me to Dawson: Do you really think a couple confused move forward with Henry. weeks means anything compared to the lifetime Grams: It was not my advice to sleep with the that we’ve had? boy! Pacey: And do you actually think that you could Jen: You don’t know what you’re talking about. possibly hold on to that beautiful woman with Grams: To see you slip back into your old lifestyle some sort of selfish ultimatum? like- like you never left it... (sighs in frustration)... I Dawson: (shakes his head) Answer my question, expected more of you, Jennifer. Pacey. Do you really think that you can compete Jen: (getting upset) You know what? I expected with history? more of you too. Believe it or not, I have changed, Pacey: (sarcastically) Some history. Fifteen years and it hasn’t been easy, especially considering of watching PG movies in your bedroom followed that the one person I count on the most can’t even by another year-and-a-half of pretending to be see it. grown-up only to drop each other at the first sign (Jen stands and storms off) of crisis. That’s your history?? Come on, man. (Leery restaurant - Gale sits at a table reading the You call this woman your soul mate? morning paper while Mitch wipes his hands with a Dawson: (getting heated) Yes! I do! And you hand towel) knew that, but you went out after her anyway. Gale: I can’t believe you’re helping him race. Pacey: Right after you rejected her. Mitch: Well, it’s a boat race, right? Not Ben Hur. Dawson: Oh, so she was vulnerable. Perfect for Besides, one way or another, this is a fight that’s you right? ‘Cause you’re only interested in girls gonna happen. And I for one am proud of Dawson you can save or screw, right Pace? for sticking up for himself. (they exchange angry stares before Pacey walks Gale: Well, I’m not against fighting for what you away) want, but shouldn’t we be teaching Dawson that (Early morning at Jen’s house - she enters the you fight with your mind? With words? (she puts front door, obviously just getting home - Grams the paper down and looks at Mitch) sits at the kitchen table) Mitch: Well yeah, but- well sometimes two people Jen: You’re up early. (she walks over to the table) have been through so much and had so many... Grams: I see I’m not the only one dressed in what “conversations” (he sits on a chair opposite Gale), they were wearing last night. that the only way to really make it clear, is action. Jen: (all smiley and happy) I know, I’m sorry. I- I Obviously Dawson has more guts than either one should have called, but I figured you’d be in bed of us. asleep. Gale: What are you talking about? Grams: (angry) You figured wrong. I was Mitch: Just what I... thought might have been moments away from calling Sheriff Witter. going on around here lately. Between you and Jen: Grams, I was fine. I was with Henry. me. Grams: (shocked) You spent the night with (Gale remains silent and looks away) Henry? Mitch: (stands) OK, uh, well, I’d stick around and Jen: (smiles dreamily) Yeah, on the- on the roof of talk about his more, but, uh, that doesn’t really the restaurant. God, it was so beautiful... the seem to be very effective now, does it? (he grabs boats were all lit up on the water, and- and the his bag and jacket and leaves) whole town was below applauding for the (Capeside Regatta - the boat race is about to fireworks, but it felt like it was just all for us. And begin) he had a blanket and a picnic and- well, not much Announcer: Welcome to Capeside’s Regatta. It’s of a picnic actually, it was- it was two “Lunchibles”, ten seconds before the start. The boats are but it’s the thought that counts. manoeuvring into position. (cannon fire erupts) (Grams has her hand to her mouth and looks very And they’re off! upset and mad) (Scene’s cut between Pacey and Will on “True Jen: Grams, I’m sorry, we just lost track of time. Love” and Dawson, Jack and Mitch on “Carpe Diem” - True Love heads Carpe Diem to the marker) 193 Announcer: And as the leaders reach the pivotal Dawson: We won! mark the leader is... looks like True Love’s out Joey: (really angry) No you didn’t, Dawson, you front but Carpe Diem in a bold move here, they lost. are gaining ground. Dawson: What? Mitch: Alright now Dawson, we gotta pick it up Joey: (raised voice) If you knew a little bit more here, we gotta give it more room. OK, two legs at about sailing you would know that you got the mark. disqualified. Pacey: What the hell are these guys doing? (Pacey arrives and stands right in front of Will: I don’t know, I don’t know. Dawson) Pacey: (yells out to Dawson’s boat) Hey! Hey, Pacey: (yelling) Your nearly killing me! give us room! Dawson: (incredulous) What, I got disqualified? Announcer: True Love and Carpe Diem are neck Pacey: (scathing) Oh, I got a couple more words and neck. They’re fighting for the finish here. for what you are. Carpe Diem is not giving any ground. In fact, Dawson: OK, let’s not forget who started this, Carpe Diem is not acknowledging True Love’s Pacey. You’re the one who said you wanted- request for steering at the mark. If one of these Joey: OK, stop. The both of you, stop this. I’m not boats doesn’t veer off course here in a minute, some damned trophy. we’re gonna have a major collision. Pacey: (yelling) No, Jo, let’s not forget who (cut to Joey watching anxiously on the dock) started this, OK. Let’s not forget who pushed me Joey: They’re both heading for the same spot, are towards Joey Potter in the first place. (to Dawson) they crazy? It was you! (cut to True Love) (Dawson goes to protest but Pacey cuts him off) Pacey: (yelling) Hey, we got the right of way!! Pacey: Yes! It was you who couldn’t be bothered- (cut to Carpe Diem) Dawson: (starts to yell as well) Because I didn’t Mitch: You’re gonna have to back off. want to get hurt again, Pacey! I still had feelings Dawson: I’m not getting out of his way. for her, I still loved her! (Joey just looks at Dawson Mitch: Two legs. and Pacey and shakes her head) I- I (speaks in Dawson: I’m not getting out of his way! normal tone) I still love her. Jack: Let them through, come on! Joey: I... I hate this. I hate all of this. God, I hate (the boats are getting close to one another) you for kissing me and forcing me to figure out Pacey: Get off our line!! what it all means, Pacey. And I hate you Dawson, Will: Move over! for- for forcing me to make a choice between our Mitch: If you don’t we’re gonna run into the dock. friendship and what I might have had with him. Jack: Dawson, come on! And I hate myself. I mean, I wish we could go (Pacey waves madly) back to the way it was, I wish I could take it all Pacey: Give us room!! back, but I can’t. Nothing is worth going through (the boats get closer and closer and are just about all this. No one person is worth this. Neither one of to collide when True Love veers off just before the you, and especially not me. finish line) (Joey storms off) Announcer: Oh my God. True Love with the right Pacey: (to Dawson) Are you happy now? of way, changes course to avoid a collision. Carpe (Pacey walks off back to his boat - Dawson stands Diem does cross the line first. alone for a moment and then goes after Joey) Announcer # 2: Oh boy, there is gonna be a (Joey walks along the docks crying - she sits protest. against the handrail - Dawson approaches and (On Carpe Diem Dawson holds his cap high in the stands next to her) air and smiles joyously) Dawson: (speaks softly) I’m glad he kissed you. Announcer: (to man standing next to him) I’m Joey: (wipes tears with the back of her hand) Well sure that is a disqualification. that makes one of us. Announcer: “Mischief” is approaching to be the Dawson: I’m glad he kissed you because it forced second, and unfortunately, True Love, they’ll finish me to deal with notion of losing you, Joey. And I a distant fifth. can’t. I can’t lose you. Not now, not ever. (Cut to the docks - Joey is storming down towards Joey: Dawson, I’m no good for you. I mean, look Dawson’s boat - Pacey is ripping off his gear and at the way you behaved today. looking very angry - Dawson approaches Joey Dawson: I behaved the way that I did today smiling) because I was threatened. 194 Joey: (confused) What are you talking about? Jen: You may not respect many of the decisions I Dawson: Honestly? I’m just trying to be the kind have made, but the least you could do is respect of guy you want. my privacy. Joey: What kind of a guy is that? Grams: I- I just- I just wanted to... (holds out an Dawson: (sighs) Well... the one who beat up a old dress of Jen’s)... to bring you this. bully, and bought you a wall... Jen: (tiredly) Why are you giving this to me? Joey: That’s not you. Grams: I have been doing a great deal of Dawson: No. (shrugs shoulders) No, it’s not, reflection, looking through old photographs, and I Joey. I- I’ve- I’ve just been trying to show you how came across this dress packed away in a box. much I want you instead of just telling you. Jen: (looks at the dress then puts it aside) It’s Joey: You don’t want me, Dawson. You said it packed in a box for a reason. It’s not my style. yourself, you just don’t want to lose me. Grams: (sits on the bed) I know. Just looking at it Dawson: Of course I don’t want to lose you, Joey, reminds me of how much you’ve grown up. When I- I want you more than I ever have. you first came here to live, you were still a child. Joey: If you really felt that way about me Dawson, Jen: And now? then you would realise that the last thing that I Grams: Now you know more. You’ve become a need right now is another person with romantic beautiful, poised, confident, mature young intentions for me. woman, who isn’t afraid to risk her heart. (speaks Dawson: (nods) OK. What do you need? (Joey slowly) I think you finally believe, after all this time, doesn’t respond) Jo, what do you need? I will do that you really do deserve to be loved. anything. I am willing to do anything. Jen: What are you saying? Joey: I need a friend. Someone who will be there Grams: I’ve seen the affection you have for Henry for me without any agenda. (pauses) The person and the affection he has for you. that you used to be. Jen: (begins to protest) Grams- Dawson: Then- Then I’ll be there for you. (Joey Grams: And I’m not so old that I don’t remember turns her head) Let me prove it to you. Let me how truly difficult it is wait when you’ve found show you. someone who gives you the love you so much (Joey looks at him but doesn’t respond) deserve. Dawson: Joey? Jen: Grams- (Joey turns and walks away) Grams: And I know you think you know all about Dawson: Jo? the birds and the bees. But what I want to talk to (Train station at night - Will and Pacey sit on the you about is not only the joy of sex, but the steps) responsibility of birth control- Announcer: Train from (name?) to (name?) now Jen: Grams, Henry and I didn’t have sex, OK? I- I departing on Track 10. mean, we- we literally slept together, but, um... we (Pacey and Will both stand) didn’t have sex. Pacey: Well, that’s you, man. Will, be safe, man. Grams: (relief washes over her face to the point (they embrace) that she looks like she’s about to cry) You don’t Will: I’ll do my best. So, any advice? know how glad I am to hear you say that. Pacey: Yeah, you know, avoid public nudity, stay Jen: Now that you know what really happened, do off drugs, try not to murder anybody, the obvious you still mean the stuff you just said? stuff. And one last thing... don’t sleep with any of Grams: (with conviction) Every word of it. your teachers. Believe me, it never works out as (Grams holds out her arms and they hug) well as you think. (Leery restaurant - Gale lights candles at a table - Will: (smiles) Witter words of wisdom. Priceless. there are no customers - Mitch enters) (pauses) Here’s some for you. Don’t give up. Mitch: I thought there was a private party tonight? Pacey: Give up? Gale: There is... ours. (she motions to the table Will: On true love. It always wins in the end. which is set for two) Pacey: Hey, be good, man. Mitch: What’s going on? (Will enters the train station and waves) Gale: Well, I thought about what you said about (Jen’s bedroom - Jen sits on her bed with what’s been happening around here lately, and I earphones - Grams knocks and then enters - Jen decided that we should have dinner, and figure a realises and takes the earphones off) few things out.

195 Mitch: (walks towards Gale) But what about Joey: OK. business? Our customers? This is an important Pacey: And I understand. I do, I understand. weekend for us. There are no ultimatums here. Gale: You’re more important. You always were. (Joey half smiles and nods before Pacey walks You always will be. away) (Mitch just stands still, words escaping him) (Capeside Docks - Pacey works on ripping free Gale : (smiles nervously) Aren’t you going to say the “True Love” name off his boat - he finally does something? so and then tosses it in the water - a hand Mitch: (walks up close to Gale) I was just trying to retrieves it - Andie walks up to Pacey holding find the words. “True Love” in her hands) (they embrace and kiss) Andie: I have something I need to tell you. (Joey stands before her blank wall in overalls and Pacey: I already know you hate me, Andie. I just paint tin in hand - Pacey walks up and taps her on don’t think I could hear it tonight. the shoulder) Andie: OK, look, could you just stop? I need to Pacey: Hey. say something. (she walks over to Pacey and sits Joey: (turns, surprised) Hey. next to him) Look, I don’t hate you, OK? I have felt Pacey: You thought I was Dawson? hurt and betrayed, and it would be really, really Joey: No, I just didn’t- easy to turn all that anger into hate. I don’t want to Pacey: Maybe a better question would be did you carry around that burden, OK? It’s not the person want me to be Dawson? that I want to be, and it’s not the person that I am, (Joey gives him a “don’t start now” look) so I don’t hate you. Pacey: I’m sorry, I take that back. (there is a moment of silence) (an awkward pause ensues) Pacey: Thank you, Andie. Joey: Well, the lease is gonna be up soon. Andie: You know, hate is a pretty strong word, Pacey: I’ll renew it again if you wanted me to. Pacey. (hands over the boat name) So is love. Joey: (considers this for a moment) Oh, I dunno (Dawson’s bedroom - Dawson sits at his desk by Pacey... I don’t wanna give it up, it’s just I don’t a pink lava lamp, writing - he looks up as Joey feel like I’m ready to... enters his window carrying a video) Pacey: Paint? Joey: Does the invitation still stand? Joey: (pauses) Yeah. Dawson: (stands) Yeah. Yeah, of course. Pacey: (sighs) I gotta be honest with you, Jo (Joey hands him the video) (pauses) I really thought after the way he behaved Dawson: E.T? today that you’d love him less, but you don’t, do (Joey just shrugs) you? If anything, you just love him more. Dawson: After everything that’s happened, this is Joey: (shakes her head) Pacey, please don’t what you rented? make this any harder than it is. Joey: I thought it was time to see it again. Pacey: OK. OK. I just gotta ask one more Dawson: You always said this movie was sad and question and then I’m gonna stop making this depressing, remember? hard on both of us, I swear. If it weren’t for Joey: I just feel like watching something tonight Dawson, could you ever love me like that? with an ending that I know like that back my hand. Joey: Like what? Dawson: (putting the tape in the VCR) Remember Pacey: Like a soul mate? when E.T turns to Elliot and says “I’ll be right Joey: Pacey, please don’t make me choose this... here”? don’t make me choose. I really think the best thing (Joey lays on her stomach on Dawson’s bed is is to just take a couple steps back, and... facing the TV - Dawson sits on the end of the bed Pacey: Yeah. (he begins to walk away and the next to her) stops and turns around) Hey Jo? Joey: Hmm. Right now, those are some of the (Joey composes herself and gives him an comforting words in the world. expectant look) (Dawson also lays on his stomach hands under Pacey: I’ll renew the lease first thing in the chin watching the movie - Joey sneaks a glance at morning. Dawson - Dawson then sneaks a glance at Joey)

196 The Anti-Prom

Transcribed by Chris Uecke

[Scene: Outside Dawson’s House. Joey and Mitch: You do not. Dawson are walking up to the porch talking about Gale:I have to go, honey. Honey. the upcoming finals.] Dawson: Ahem. Joey: Oh, I hate finals. What kind of a sadist [Commercial Break] bases 1/3 of a semester’s grade on whether or not [Scene picks up where it left off] you can recite the opening to the Canterbury tales Joey: You know, I’m not wearing a watch, but I’m in perfect middle English? probably at least late for something I should Dawson: Joey, we’ve been over this a thousand probably be at, so...I’ll see you guys later. times. Your pronunciation is flawless. Dawson: See ya. Joey: Maybe so, but I’m still gonna continue Gale: Uh, sweetheart, we should probably talk torturing myself until test time. I just have to. about what you just saw. Dawson: Of course you will. I’m well aware of the Mitch: You know what? I’ll talk to Dawson. You potter neuroses. should probably go ahead and get to the Joey: I prefer to think of them as quirks. restaurant. Dawson: Do you? Gale: Ok. Joey: Yeah. [Kiss] Dawson: Well, whatever works for you. Dawson: This should be good. Joey: I could get into the leery neuroses. Mitch: You ok? Dawson: Uh, we don’t have to do that. Besides, Dawson: [Snorts] you know what? Yeah, I am. I’m, uh, nervous enough on my own right now. Mitch: About what you just saw— Joey: Why? Dawson: What I just saw, dad, was something Dawson: Uh, well, there’s A... There’s an event I’ve seen about 5 million times over the course of looming on the horizon, and, uh... I seem to recall my life. a certain pact made by 2 high-school freshmen Mitch: But under the circumstances, don't you regarding said event. think we should talk about it? Joey: Junior prom. We both agreed if we didn’t Dawson: [Laughs] dad, at this point, I’m numb. have dates, we’d go together. Mitch: You're numb? Dawson: So you do remember. Dawson: Yeah. I mean, you and mom have Joey: Are you asking me to prom? always had a relationship that's been a little Dawson: I don’t want to go with some random dramatic. All the while, I’ve been in the middle person and have it mean nothing. You know, I through all the backs-and-forths and ups and want to go with my oldest friend. That’ll be downs, and a little while ago I realized I don't need something I’ll always remember. to do that. I can just sit back detached and watch Joey: Or we can both agree that it's a from afar. meaningless event and not go at all. Mitch: You can do that. But I think you should Dawson: But it does mean something. There are know that what's going on between your mother a million reasons why proms are ridiculous and and me is a lot more than casual. stupid, but we made that pact because it Dawson: Are you saying that you and mom are obviously mattered to us. It's a rite of passage. getting back together? And I can't think of any better way to move Mitch: No. We haven't discussed that. forward than to fulfill a pact made by 2 old friends Dawson: In that case, I would prefer you left me and just have a good time. out of it entirely. I’m enjoying the numbness. You Joey: Ok. Ok. But I have 2 rules-- no cheesy haven't talked to mom, you don't know even what corsage for me and no blue ruffley- tuxedoey- she's feeling. shirt-thingy for you. Mitch: I was married to your mother for 20 years. Dawson: Done. There's some things I know without having to ask. [The door opens and Mitch and Gale are in it [Scene: Inside Doug’s Apartment. Pacey and kissing.] Andie are there studying for the upcoming finals.] Mitch: That's one for right now. Pacey: How's the studying going? Gale: I have to get to the restaurant. Andie: Fine.

197 Pacey: You want anything? Can I get you water? Joey: Well... No appealing choice. Lemonade? Bessie: So you're looking to me to provide the Andie: No. I’m good. magical key to this problem? Pacey: Ok. Um... Joey: Yeah. [Sighs] I gotta say, you've been a Andie: Do you... Want me to go? little thin in the advice department lately. Pacey: Why would I want you to go? Bessie: Give me a problem that actually has a Andie: I don't know. I just get the feeling that... I solution, and I’ll solve it. don't know. That you want me to go. Joey: You're right. I mean, no matter what I do, Pacey: Uh-uh. I don't want you to go. somebody gets hurt. Including me. Andie: Ok. [Scene: Inside the School Cafeteria. Andie and Pacey: Look, I just-- sometimes I... I just feel kind Jack are sitting at a table talking while watching of... people get their tickets for the prom.] Andie: Thirsty? Tired? Mad? Sad? Andie: I hate the stupid prom. Stupid prom can Pacey: Yeah. kiss my ass. Andie: Sad? Jack: What's wrong with you? Pacey: Yeah. Uh, it's... Something like that. Andie: I thought that Pacey was gonna ask me to Andie: Yeah. Maybe it's time that you come out the prom, but no, instead I must humiliate myself of this cave, just get back out there. and go alone. Pacey: Back out where? Jack: Better you than going with an ex-boyfriend Andie: Out there. You know, go to the prom. that you're not over yet. Pacey: With who, Andie? Andie: I am so over him. I am! That's why I want Andie: I don't know. Anybody. A girl. You could to go with him is because it'll be safe. go with me, if you wanted to. Jack: Mm-hmm. Pacey: You don't have a date to the prom? Andie: So what about you? Did you get your Andie: I am currently sifting through offers. I have tickets yet? just yet to make my final decision. Jack: No. Working on it. See, the theme this year- Pacey: Do you want me to ask you to the prom? -couples. They're going to have every couple's Andie: [Laughs] I just want to see you happy names on the balloons, the little place cards, on again. those cheesy prom souvenirs. Pacey: I don't think that the prom is going to act Andie: So? as some magical happiness elixir for me. And Jack: So when you go to buy your tickets, you you're probably better off taking one of those guys gotta say who you're bringing, which means I up on their offer. have to march over there and tell the whole world Andie: I’m sure I will. I’m bringing a guy. [Scene: Inside Joey’s Living room. Bessie is Andie: Don't you think when you show up with sitting on the couch as Joey is telling her about Ethan, they're gonna figure out that he's your earlier.] date? Joey: Dawson asked me to prom, and I said yes. Jack: He's not my "date" date. We're going as And now I feel like I made a huge horrible friends. He calls it the next step towards self- mistake. I mean, he reassured me that it will only acceptance and actualization, whatever the hell serve to re-cement our admittedly shaky that means. friendship, but...I don't know. Andie: I don't see what you're so worried about. Bessie: What about the undeniable romantic It's not like you to care what other people think. implications? Not to mention Pacey. Jack: You see who's selling the tickets? Joey: What about Pacey? Andie: Barbara Johns? Bessie: What did you think accepting Dawson’s [Scene: Outside the school at a picnic table. Jen prom invitation would do if not put you right in the and Henry are getting up from eating and are middle of his tug of war with Pacey? walking back to class while talking.] Joey: [Sighs] well, I--I know. I’m just--I’m trying. Jen: So, you know what they're having this I’m trying so hard just to get things back to the weekend is the junior prom. way they were. Henry: Really? Bessie: Come on, jo. You're not that naive. Jen: Yeah. God, is there a more ridiculous and Joey: I have to be. I’m backed up into a corner. I embarrassing ritual than the prom? The way that it don't have any choice. totally reinforces traditional gender roles, rewards Bessie: You always have a choice. the cool kids, punishes the geeks, I mean, the 198 pressure this one single night exerts on the Barbara: Oh? Happy couple back together? common teenager... To make hollow, awkward Dawson: Something like that, yeah. romantic gestures like pinning a cheap corsage on [He turns to see that Pacey overheard this.] taffeta, having drunken sex with some guy whose [Scene: Outside the school on the steps. Jack, name you won't remember, and then puking in the Andie, Dawson and Joey are sitting there talking.] back of some cheesy-ass rented limo, I mean, it's Joey: They can't do this. We won't let them. just so overwhelming. Andie: Yeah. We'll--we'll lodge a formal complaint. Henry: You've never been to a prom before, have Not only will you get your tickets for free, but we you? will get Barbara Johns to apologize in front of the Jen: Well, no. But I know enough about them to whole school on her hands and knees. know it's a sad— Jack: Guys... Henry: So, in other words, you're asking me to Andie: We could go to Mrs. Meyer and tell her go. what Barbara did. She has to sell the tickets. It's Jen: [Sighs] yeah. discrimination. Henry: I’d love to. Jack: Guys! [Scene: Inside the School Cafeteria. Jack is Andie: What? trying to get his tickets.] Jack: I appreciate the support, I do, but it's ok. I’m Barbara: Ok. Date. just not gonna go to the prom. Jack: And, um, Ethan Brody. Andie: What? You have to go! At this point, it's Barbara: Excuse me? political. Jack: Ethan Brody. E-T-H-A-N. Jack: That's just it. It's a prom. It's supposed to be Barbara: No, no, no. A boy cannot go to the prom fun. Why does my entire life have to be a fight? with a boy. The definition of a prom date is a boy Why is something that's normal for someone else and a girl. have to be so political for me? Jack: Well, I don't think that's any of your Andie: 'Cause that's just the way it is, and until business. things change, you have to fight. And we'll be Barbara: To be honest, I don't understand why there with you. All the way. you feel the need to cause a spectacle and ruin Jack: Just wanted to go to the prom. That's all. the prom for the rest of us, but if you feel you have Andie: Well, if you're not going, I’m not going. to do so, I can't sell you a ticket till I talk to Mrs. Joey: Me, neither. Meyer, head of the prom committee. Andie: Good! Then we'll boycott, and we'll Jack: You're not gonna sell me a ticket? organize. Barbara: What exactly is it the two of you will do, Dawson: I’ve got a better idea. Jack, you're right. anyway? Take a nice prom photo for grandma's Let's hold our own prom. Right? An alternative photo album? Dance stubbled cheek to stubbled prom. Think about it. Why are we paying 80 bucks cheek? Share a romantic kiss under the a pop to sit where they tell us to sit, eat rubbery moonlight? You don't think that's gonna weird out chicken, and listen to a special selection of even the ones who are sympathetic to people like Barbara Johns' favorite tunes when we can hold you? the anti-prom? Where it's not about who you Jack: You can't do this. bring, but who you are. Barbara: Like I said, jack, I’ll check with Mrs. Andie: I like it. Yeah, I think it's a great idea, Meyer, and you can come back and try again. Dawson. Next! Joey: Yeah. [Jack turns to leaves and runs in to Dawson.] Jack: What would an alternative prom be without Dawson: What's up, jack? You ok? a couple of gay guys? Jack: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I--I gotta go. [Scene: Inside the Leery Fish House Kitchen. [Jack Leaves] Dawson is talking to Gale and Mitch about the Barbara: The theme of this year's prom is Anti-Prom.] "couples." Please state your name as well as the Dawson: Should you guys choose to take me up name of your date. on this proposal, I worked it out and the revenue Dawson: Barbara, you're in my gym class. You from ticket sales will offset the cost. I’m telling you, know my name. we can totally make this work. Barbara: Please state your name as well as the Mitch: You've obviously given this a lot of name of your date. thought. I only have one question--why? Dawson: Dawson leery and Joey potter. 199 Dawson: I don't know. Big things are happening Jack: Really bad. all around. I’m just trying to facilitate my own big Barbara: Look, at least I’m not going to hell. thing. If the answer is yes. Jack: That's it? That's your whole comeback? Gale: Should we say yes now or continue to Ooh! The threat of eternal damnation is a pretty torture him? good comeback. Well, that threat is not yours to Dawson: Mom, thank you. You guys will not make. You just don't get it, do you? You're totally regret this, I promise. missing the point. Gale: But you do realize this is my restaurant, so I Barbara: Huh. will be here. Jack: Next! Mitch: And every prom needs a chaperone. [Scene: Inside Jen’s Bedroom. Grams is fitting a Dawson: Ok. Great. [Laughs] I’m gonna go hang tux for Henry while Jen sits on the bed watching.] some flyers. Grams: And to think I was going to give this to the [Dawson Leaves] goodwill. Gale: Well, he seems to have gotten through Jen: You're gonna look great, Henry. yesterday's events unscathed. Henry: I feel like a busboy. Mitch: He says he's numb at this point. Grams: It's the burden of men, dear. While out Gale: Is that a good thing? on the town, you must stand in the background Mitch: I don't know. But he did seem, surprisingly and let your woman shine. enough, totally ok. Jen: Oh, I think that Henry shines just fine on his Gale: Well, that's a relief. own, grams. Mitch: Kind of got me to thinking, though. Grams: He certainly does. [Gale samples something from one of the pots.] [Teapot whistles] Gale: Mmm! Who put cayenne pepper in this Grams: ooh, there's my tea. I’ll be right back. marinara sauce? [Grams leaves] Mitch: Gale? Jen: Ok. I...I think it's time that you and I had the Gale: Yeah? talk. Mitch: I thought maybe we should discuss what Henry: The talk? we're doing here? Jen: Yeah. The prom sex talk. Gale: What we're doing where? Henry: The prom sex talk? Mitch: This thing you and I are doing. I thought Jen: Come on, Henry. Like it wasn't going to maybe we should discuss what it means. come up sooner or later. Gale: Can't we just enjoy it and see where it Henry: Not necessarily. leads? Why do we always have to analyze Jen: Oh, ok. Tell me that you weren't thinking that everything? Hello! I asked a question. Who put you, me, and the prom didn't mean the distinct cayenne pepper in the marinara sauce? possibility of drunken, backseat, rented limo [Mitch sighs] nooky? [Scene: Inside the School Cafeteria. Jack and Henry: I--I didn't rent a limo. Andie are selling tickets to the Anti-Prom at a Jen: Ok, that's not the point. The prom puts a lot table right next to Barbara’s table.] of pressure on kids to do it just for the sake of it. Andie: Can you believe this, jack? Then you end up doing it 15 minutes before Jack: I know. This thing could actually turn out to curfew, and it's completely unromantic and way be a success. too fast, and it--it just generally sucks. And you Andie: In a manner of speaking. Hi. can never take that back or change it, so... So I Barbara: Just because the dregs of society go to thought that maybe we could make the decision your prom does not make it a success. Nobody right now not to do it. that matters would be caught dead there. I Henry: Oh, um, I’m in no race. You know that. certainly wouldn't go if you paid me. Jen: Ok. Jack: Good thing, 'cause we don't want your kind. Henry: But we... We are gonna do it eventually, Barbara: And what kind is that, the good Christian right? kind? Jen: [Laughs] come here. Jack: [Laughs] this is not about religion, Barbara. [Scene: Inside Andie’s Bedroom. Andie walks in I mean the kind that hates people. The intolerant, with Pacey following shortly behind her.] judgmental, hypocritical kind. The close-minded, Andie: To what do I owe the honor of this visit? immature, bigoted kind. Pacey: I’m just bored, I guess. Andie: With bad fashion sense. 200 Andie: [Laughs] you always knew how to flatter a [Scene: Outside the Leery Fish House. Mitch and girl. Gale are welcoming the prom attendees.] Pacey: I try. So, um, guess you're probably going Gale: Hi. Hi. to that whole alternative prom thing. Mitch: Welcome. Andie: Mm-hmm. Oh, ho! You are not gonna Gale: [Sighs] oh, boy. Interesting crowd. believe what I did today. I threw my ticket back in Mitch: Lock the cash register. Barbara Johns' face. Know what that witch said to Gale: I’m on it. me when I bought it? "Oh, that is so brave, Andie. [Scene: Inside the Fish House. Ethan and Jack A girl going to the prom alone." Ooh! are sitting at a table alone. Jack seems kind of Pacey: Why would you go to the prom alone? I nervous.] thought you were sifting through offers. Ethan: Hey, can you believe we wore the same Andie: Yeah. Well, uh... Turns out that I didn't thing? [Laughs] yeah, well, I thought it was pretty have any. funny. [Sighs] jack, I’m not expecting you to Pacey: So why didn't you just tell me that? dance with me, if that's what you're worried about. Andie: Because I didn't want a pity ask, ok? And it Jack: No. No, I’m not worried about anything. doesn't matter anyway, because all of my friends Nah. are gonna be there, and at this point, I’m just Ethan: Ok. going to support the whole stupid alternative prom [Henry and Jen come up to them.] thing. Jen: Hi, there. Pacey: You should have been able to tell me. And Jack: Hey. it wouldn't be a pity ask, because it can't be pity if Ethan: Hey. it's an honor. Andrea McPhee... Would you go to [Dawson and Joey join the table as well.] the prom with me? Dawson: Hey, jack, Ethan. [Scene: Outside Joey’s house. Dawson walks up Jen: Hey, you guys. Joey, I love those earrings. to the house in a tux, and Bessie is there waiting Joey: Thank you. with a camera, as Joey comes out onto the porch.] Andie: Hey, guys! Dawson: Hi. Dawson: Shall we dance? Joey: Hey. So... Hey. [Joey and Dawson get up and Andie and Pacey Dawson: Wow. You look... take their seats.] Joey: It's just a dress, Dawson. Jen: Come on, sit down. Bessie: Ok, picture time! [Giggles] Andie: Great. [Laughs] wow, Jen, your dress is [Bessie takes some pictures of Joey and Dawson fabulous. as a couple.] Jen: Thank you so much. You look awesome. Joey: We should probably go. We don't want to Andie: Thank you. [Laughs] thanks. Hey, Ethan. be late. Ethan: Hi, Andie. Bessie: Always hated having your picture taken. Andie: Henry. Well, so, Dawson, where's the corsage? Henry: Hey. Dawson: We made a deal-- no corsages-- but I [Scene: On the dance floor. Joey and Dawson had to bring something. So I thought I’d bring are dancing together. Joey looks over Dawson’s these. shoulder to see Pacey sitting there. Jen and Joey: Diamond earrings? Henry are dancing together and talking.] Bessie: Wow. Jen: So, here we are. Joey: Dawson, I can't take these. Henry: Yep. Dawson: Relax, they're my mom’s. They're on Jen: At the prom. loan, like at the academy awards. I thought they Henry: Yep. would look amazing on you. Jen: So, what are you thinking? Joey: I--i can't wear them. What if something Henry: I wasn't thinking about sex, ok? happens? Jen: Henry, chill. You're allowed to think about Dawson: If something happens to what, your sex. earlobes? Stop it. Put 'em on. Henry: Well, I--I wasn’t. Joey: They are beautiful. Jen: No, I’m sure. I’m just saying if you were, Bessie: So put them on, and I’ll get one more it's fine. You can think about sex, I can think about picture. Ohh. sex, it's just that tonight that it's not a factor. Joey: Thank you. Right? Bessie: 1...2...3! 201 [Cut to the Jack and Ethan standing watching the Jen: And as for later goes, whatever slim dancing going on.] possibility may have existed that you and I might Ethan: I’m glad, you know. actually have sex, you can just forget about that Jack: About what? now. Ethan: That you had the courage to bring me, Henry: We already established we weren't having jack. I know it's not easy. Even for me. When brad sex tonight. and I first told people what was happening— Jen: Come on, Henry. That's just what you say to Jack: can we maybe put a pin in the "when I was alleviate the pressure and make it seem a young gay boy" stories for tonight? It's not spontaneous. Of course, there was a chance. It's providing me with a lot of solace right now. our prom! Ethan: What I was gonna say, jack, is that brad Henry: Wh-wh-- damn. and I never did anything together. In fact, for all [Cut to Dawson and Joey Dancing, when Joey my bravado, I’ve never asked a guy to anything pulls a little back from Dawson to see his face.] like this. Joey: Could I ask a brazen but obvious question? Jack: Wha... You mean all that crap about Dawson: Yeah, of course. actualization, you've never actualized? Joey: Why did you bring me here tonight, Ethan: I guess I thought it was a hurdle we could Dawson? jump over together. Dawson: What? Jack: At my high-school prom where you know no Joey: Was it just so you could throw jabs at one, and I know everyone? Tell me, how Pacey? "together" is that, Ethan? Dawson: What are you talking about? I had no Ethan: So you win in the courage department. idea Pacey would be here. Jack: No, I don't, because I was tricked into it. Joey: You don't think I get the subtext of every Courage would have been telling you that I’m not one of those looks you keep throwing his way? I ready for this, that however healthy this might be mean, Dawson, you might as well get on the P.A. for my sexual identity, I really don't want to be And scream, "she's mine, Pacey. Ha. I win." here right now. Dawson: Actually, that's not what I’m thinking. Ethan: Well, I’m sorry. Joey: Then what are you thinking? Jack: So am I. Dawson: ’m thinking, what right did he have to Ethan: Where are you going? show up to my mother's restaurant at a prom that I Jack: I’m going to get a soda. I was wondering, organized. What exactly is he trying to wise gay sage that you are, coke, diet Pepsi-- accomplish? what's better for my self-actualization? Joey: Now, given the circumstances under which [Jack Leaves] this night originated, what right do you have to [Scene: Jen and Henry are in a line waiting to get exclude anyone? something, and talking] Dawson: I’m not excluding him, jo. I haven't said Jen: You know, there are other things that we can a word to him. talk about. Besides sex. Joey: Fine, but that hasn't stopped you from Henry: Of course. parading me around all night like I’m some sort of Jen: We--we could talk about... Summer. We a prize. could talk about what we're gonna do this Dawson: Parading you? I’m not parading you summer. I thought we could take a couple of day around, Joey. You're my date, and I’m dancing trips up to Nantucket, go see some concerts up in with you. It's not my fault if they keep staring at us. Boston. Joey: You're right. None of it's your fault. None of Henry: Sure. When I get back from football camp. it's anybody's fault. It's just happening. And who Jen: What-ball camp? cares what it's doing to me? Henry: Football camp. In Cleveland. 8 weeks. I Dawson: Ok. You know, let's just start over, ok? leave at the end of june. It's just Dawson and Joey at the prom having a Jen: You're leaving me for the whole summer to good time. Ok? go to football camp, and you tell me this now? Joey: I need a breather. Henry: Well...What's wrong with now? [Scene: Outside the Fish House. Jack is standing Jen: You don't devastate your girlfriend with the by the water’s edge alone when Joey joins him news of an impending 2-month separation in the there.] middle of prom. That ruins the night. Joey: Care to make a run for it? Henry: I’ve ruined the night? Jack: Yes, please. Ohh. 202 Joey: So, what are you hiding from? Joey: I’ve been meaning to ask you something all Jack: I am hiding from Barbara Johns. night, Pacey. Would you like to dance with me? Joey: She's here? Pacey: Yes. Jack: No. Yeah, in a way, she is. Oh, man. She [Cut to them dancing.] was right, Joey. You know, I don't belong here. I’m Pacey: How come this feels so right? not gonna dance with Ethan. I’m not gonna have Joey: I think it was those dance lessons. my picture taken with him. And whatever good Pacey: Where did you get those? They're not you. time I was gonna have tonight, I just ruined it by Joey: Why, because I’m just a poor tomboy, or the way I treated him. 'cause Dawson gave them to me? Joey: I remember a conversation less than a year Pacey: Neither. You see this? [Points to her ago, under these very stars, and all you could see bracelet] This is you. It's not showy or gaudy. Just was the pain and the loneliness that made your simple. Elegant. Beautiful. life different from everyone else’s. Joey: It's my mom's bracelet. Jack: As opposed to now, when all I can see is Pacey: I know. the pain and loneliness that makes our lives the Joey: How do you know? same? Look. I know how sad it is to hide from Pacey: Well, because you told me. 6 months ago. something that you really want, Joey. You were wearing that, uh, blue sweater with the Joey: I just want everything to go back to the way snowflakes that you have. We were walking down it was, you know? All of us friends again, and--and the hallways at school. I was annoying you as per me not caught in the middle. usual. You said, "look, Pacey. "I just found my Jack: Well, if you want things to get back to the mother's bracelet this morning, so why don't you way that they were, you have to set the example. cut me some slack?" Dawson and Pacey, those two just aren't gonna Joey: You remember that? do it themselves right now. Pacey: I remember everything. Joey: How about we hide out here for a while [They dance closer to each other, but then Joey first? looks up from his shoulder and sees Dawson. He Jack: It sounds good to me. turns and leaves the building and Joey pulls away Joey: Thank you. from Pacey, and Pacey already knows without Jack: Thank you. asking what just happened.] [Scene: Inside the Fish House. Mitch and Gale Joey: Dawson. Dawson, wait. Dawson, wait. ate dancing together and talking.] Dawson: How could you do that to me? Are you Gale: You know, this might be a tad trying to hurt me? presumptuous, but I took the liberty of packing a Joey: No! I’m trying to set an example. I’m trying bag. I thought maybe I could stay over. to get things back to the way they were. Mitch: I’m not sure that's such a good idea, gale. Dawson: You can't go back to the way they were, Gale: Mitchell, what are you talking about? Joey. Don't you get it? You can't climb through my Mitch: I’m not here just for your whim, gale. window, pop in E.T., And have it be the same, ok? Gale: [Laughs] excuse me? You can't dance with him at the prom I organized Mitch: Go ahead and laugh, but you know, we've and expect me not to be hurt. finally gotten back to this point in our relationship Joey: You said tonight was about you, me, and by being honest with each other. I’m not gonna our friendship. And if that was really the case, it stop that honesty now. wouldn't matter who I danced with. Gale: Ok. So if the honest thing is to talk about it, Dawson: I said tonight was about moving forward, let's talk about it. Joey. What did you think that meant? You can't Mitch: I can't keep playing this game. Is it a slip- have thought that that's all I wanted. The whole up? Is it a relationship? Is it a Saturday-night reason I suggested this whole stupid alternative arrangement? What is it? prom wasn't about jack, it was about you, all right? Gale: What do you want it to be? And maybe I tried too hard, but I didn't want to Mitch: Nah. You know what, gale? I’m sick of miss my chance to dance with you, to hold you, to being the one always anxious to define our make you remember what it was like between us. relationship or lack thereof. What I want is for you I thought maybe, you know, if I could make it to define it for once. perfect... [Cut to Pacey sitting alone at the table and Joey Joey: That I would pick you? Say it, Dawson. coming up from behind him.] You thought if you orchestrated this whole

203 evening, that I would be convinced into picking Ethan: No, jack, I’m sorry. You clearly weren't you over Pacey, right? ready for this. Dawson: You have to pick somebody, Joey. I just Jack: That's just it, because I don't know what this wanted to remind you what you'd be missing if you is, so maybe we should define this before we didn't pick me. 'Cause you'd be missing a lot. So decide who's ready. would I. We'd be missing everything. [Dawson Ethan: What are you saying? kisses her] That's how the evening was supposed Jack: I-I’m saying... Ok, I’m saying that tonight... I to end. don't think that I was uncomfortable with bringing [Scene: Outside Jen’s House. Jen and Henry are a guy to the prom. I think I was uncomfortable with returning from the Anti-Prom arguing.] taking someone that doesn't feel the same way Jen: I think I can take it from here, thanks. about me as I feel about him. Henry: Wow, I think those were the most words Ethan: Jack, I really like you. you've said to me since I told you about football Jack: Then why all the hurdles? Why this whole camp. journey for us to be together when all you had to Jen: Henry, I’m not in the mood. do was just lean over and— Henry: Fine. Then, let's talk about something else, Ethan: Kiss you. like why would you make such a big deal about Jack: Yeah, something like that. there being no possibility of us having sex if you Ethan: Because, jack, I don't wanna kiss someone were planning to do it all along? who isn't ready. And I don't know if you're ready, Jen: I wasn't planning on anything. I mean, I so I’m afraid-- you're gonna have to kiss me first. thought that-- that maybe if it happened, if it felt Jack: How do you know that I couldn't? right and-- and natural, then yeah, maybe we Ethan: I don't know. I’m guessing. would, but you know, it doesn't even matter. Jack: Then maybe you're guessing wrong. Maybe Henry: Because of football camp? You know, I I am ready. hate it when you do this. You get extreme about Ethan: Ok, so here we are--a lone train station, no the future of our relationship at the first sign of one one around, no lights, no cameras, no network of your insecurities. television to cut to commercial. It's just you and Jen: This isn't about my insecurities, Henry. It's me. So kiss me, jack. I dare you. about your cowardice, [Scene: Outside the Fish House. Pacey is Henry: What? walking Andie home from the Anti-Prom.] Jen: And the fact that I planned our entire Pacey: I honestly believed that when I came over summer together, and you weren't even thinking to invite you to the prom, it was because I wanted about spending any time with me. For the first to go to the prom with you, and I can't tell you how time in my life, I made myself vulnerable to much I wish that were the truth, but as soon as I somebody... And now I just feel stupid. got there, I realized that I wanted to go to the Henry: Jen, my decision to go, it's-- it's got prom because— nothing to do with you. Andie: I know why you wanted to go to the prom, Jen: Exactly. But if this were a real relationship, Pacey, and I’m sorry that it didn't work out for you. your choice for those 8 weeks, it would have had But at least you got to dance with her. at least something to do with me. Good night, Pacey: What can I do? Really, I would do Henry. whatever it takes to make this up to you, Andie. Henry: Jen, I won't go through this again. I can’t. Andie: What it would take is something that I don't This time, there won't be any posters or grand think you can give me right now, and I’m not mad declarations of my feelings towards you. You walk at you, Pacey-- honestly, I’m not. I just-- I just in that house, and it's not just good night... It's really feel bad for you. good-bye. Pacey: Did I tell you what I’m gonna be doing this Jen: Good-bye. summer? I’m gonna sail true love down to key [Scene: Inside the Train Station. Ethan is about west. Just me and the sea. How's that for to go to the train when Jack runs after him to stop Hemingwayesque, huh? him.] Andie: So when are you gonna leave? Jack: Ethan, wait! Wait. What are you doing? Are Pacey: Right after finals. you leaving? Andie: Have you told her how you feel? Ethan: Are you kidding me? Pacey: Andie, she already knows how I feel. Jack: Look, I-I’m sorry for the way that I acted Andie: I mean, have you really told her, Pacey? tonight. You can't just leave without letting her know. I 204 mean, that's not like you. You--you don't just stand been on this... Soul-searching journey... And I feel and let things happen, and you don't run away, like I’ve finally come to the end. And what I either. You have to tell her that you love her, and found... Was you. you have to try to get her back, because if you [Gale goes running by them and into the house. don't, I promise you, you will regret it. Shouting for Mitch to join her in the Living Room. Pacey: Maybe. Dawson and Joey come into the house and watch Andie: No, Pacey, you will. what is going on.] [Scene: Outside Dawson’s House. Dawson is Gale: Mitch! What? Mitch. Come here. sitting in a chair reading when Joey comes up to Mitch: What is it? join him.] Gale: Just come here. Um, here, sit down. Joey: Hey. Mitch: What are you up to? Dawson: Hey. Gale: Just this. Last night, you asked me to define Joey: Um... I brought these back for you. They're this relationship, and I wasn't ready to do it. I have so beautiful, I-- I’m not quite sure they're me, but... just been so afraid of-- of screwing up, of making Really fun time wearing them. So, I’m not going to the same mistakes twice. But I’m not gonna let deny that when you kissed me last night... I felt that fear stop us from being together anymore. something. Something that I wasn't expecting, and So, if our fate is to make the same mistakes all something that... Probably will always be there. I over again, then by god, I hope we make those can't keep hurting people, Dawson, and I can't mistakes as well as we did the first time. Is that a choose, so I’m telling you the same thing that I yes? told Pacey. Please don't make me. I’m not ready, Mitch: Well, you didn't ask me a question. and I can't do it. Gale: You know the question. Dawson: Ok. Mitch: You know the answer. Joey: Ok? [Dawson and Joey both look at each other and Dawson: I’ll wait. You can call me an eternal then back to Gale and Mitch. Both of them are optimist, but I have faith. This whole year, I’ve smiling. Ending credits]

205 True Love

Transcribed by Chris Uecke

[Scene: Mitch and Dawson are exiting a store Pacey: Are you going to miss me? Is that it when Gale and Joey come walking up to join Doug? them.] Doug: Yeah, what you think you’re leaving behind Mitch: Well, if it isn’t my blushing bride to be and, here is just going to be that much bigger when uh, her maid of honor. you are out there all alone. Does Joey know that Gale: Hi you are leaving? [They Kiss] Pacey: If she does, I didn’t tell her. Gale: We, just stopped by Sally’s for a peek, and Doug: So, I guess she doesn’t really know how Debbie said the dresses will be ready in the you feel about her either, right? tomorrow, but the cake is ready right now and I Pacey: [Sighs] She knows how I feel. want you to come see it. Doug: Pacey, have you spelled it out to her, I Mitch: Let’s Go. mean in clear unwavering terms. Have you done Gale: Bye honey. Thanks, Joey. that? [They leave] Pacey: And what exactly do you think would Joey: Bye. happen if I did that, Doug? Dawson: They are a happy as I have ever seen Doug: Worst case, nothing. Best case, she gives ‘em. If you can believe that. you a reason to stay. Joey: I can. So, How’s the ring? Pacey: [Laughs] You see, that right there is what Dawson: It’s beautiful. And the dresses? happens to the male mind when it’s exposed to Joey: Oh, your mother’s is gorgeous. However too many Katherine Hepburn movies. I’m starting to believe everything I’ve heard about Doug: Every time that you look at the stars you the unflattering nature of bride’s maids dresses. are going to see here face. You can’t run away Dawson: I’m sure that you’ll look amazing. Joey, from her, Pacey. thanks for doing this, I really appreciate it. Pacey: Well, I can try. Joey: Dawson, it was an honor when you mother [Scene: Inside the School hallway. Jack and Jen asked me, how could I refuse? are busy cleaning out their lockers in an empty Dawson: Yeah, I know, it means a lot to her, but it hallway with only a janitor sweeping the hall.] also means a lot to me too. I, I couldn’t imagine Jen: You know there really is a certain pleasing you not being a part of this ceremony, and despite symmetry to this. You, me, together again. any awkwardness this might stir up, it … President and Vice President of the Bitter Club. Joey: You know, it’s an important day for your Reunited for one last session. parents and I’m not counting on it to change either Jack: I’m not bitter. of our lives. So, it’s not going to stir anything up, Jen: Oh yeah, sure. Everyone wants their Prom unless we let it. Right? night with the person they are most attracted to in Dawson: My point exactly. Yeah. the whole entire world speeding away from them Joey: So, you know what. I have to go. I have on a commuter train. something borrowed, but I don’t have anything [Jen sees Henry enter the hallway and start blue, yet. walking towards them] Dawson: It shouldn’t be too hard. Seems to be a Jen: Hey Jack, when he comes over here, would lot of that going around these days. you mind telling him, that I still mean every thing [Scene: The docks by “True Love” Doug is that I said and that I haven’t changed my mind talking to Pacey about the trip while Pacey is and that I hope that football camp in Cleveland is brining some supplies aboard.] sweaty, gross, and girl free. Not to mention Doug: Hey, Pacey, are you sure this trip is such a painful and debilitating. good idea? Jack: Do you realize how immature this is? Pacey: I already cleared it with dad. Stay close to [Henry comes up to her and realizes that she is shore. Call home every week. I know the drill. ignoring him and goes over to Jack who is Doug: Uh, that’s not exactly what I’m talking dumping some stuff in the trashcan.] about. Jen: [Ignoring Henry] Geez.

206 Henry: [To Jack] Jack, could you do me a favor? Andie: He’s leaving. He’s gonna to take this, um, Could you tell Jen that I left my copy of Sid Arthur summer sailing trip. You know, some macho in her, in her locker and I want it back. adventure. Jack: No. Dawson: Well, good for him. Henry: Why not? Andie: Yeah! So, um... We're gonna have this Jack: ‘Cause she’s standing right here. little send-off tomorrow night, you know, a picnic Henry: Could you just ask her? Please? down by the docks. Jack: Henry this is ridiculous. Hey Jen, guess Dawson: Tomorrow night's the rehearsal dinner, what? Henry has come over with this, uh, so... Even if I wanted to go, which I don’t... ridiculously lame Sid Arthur related pretext Andie: Dawson... You do realize that one of you is because he’s secretly hoping that you’ll give him going to have to make the first move, don't you? another chance. Dawson: It's not gonna be me, and it's not gonna Henry: That, that’s not what I said. be tomorrow night, so... There you go. Signed the Jen: Why don’t you tell Henry that if he would like page with all the faculty head shots. would like his book back, he probably should start Andie: Dawson? For what it's worth, I'm not over digging. the pain of this yet either. Letting go isn't a one- Jack: Translation, she threw it away, because it’s time thing. It's something that you have to do over a painful reminder of how much she regrets and over again every day. Thanks. freaking out like a total drama queen and breaking Dawson: Sure. up with you at the prom. [Scene: Along the creek on a road. Joey is Jen: Okay, I’m not a drama queen, and I’m not driving her truck when she hears a siren from the only one who’s totally freaked out. behind and pulls over, and Doug pulls around her Jack: Personal front, it must be the going rate for, in the cop car.] converting young lover subtext these days. Doug: Excuse me. Driver's license and Henry: He’s right, Jen, neither of us is being very registration, please. direct right now. So, how’s this? I’m sorry. Joey: You're kidding me, right? Jen: You know what, Henry? I’m sorry too. I’m Doug: Driver's license and registration, please. sorry that we ever met. Miss potter, I clocked you going— Henry: That’s too bad. Because, I’m not. You Joey: you have a radar gun? have nothing else you want to say to me? Doug: Visual assessment. You were going 5 to 7 Jen: No, nothing. miles per hour below the posted speed limit on Henry: I guess that finishes that. this particular Capeside thoroughfare. I'll let it go [Scene: Inside Dawson’s House. Mitch is with a warning this time. carrying something out of the house when Andie Joey: Promise to be careful. comes up to the door. Dawson sees her.] Doug: Not that kind of warning. I just thought you Dawson: Andie. might like to know that, uh...Unbeknownst to you, Andie: Oh, hey. a particular attitudinally challenged younger Dawson: Hey, come in. It’s a little hectic around sibling is preparing to leave Capeside for the here. summer. Seems he's gonna sail himself down to Andie: Yeah. So, I see. So, I guess that’s why the Florida keys for the next 3 months. you ran out of school without signing this. My Joey: When does he leave? Yearbook. Here. Doug: In a couple of days. I just thought you Dawson: [Laughs] Andie, as much as I admire might like to know about it before it was too late you unswerving devotion to a high school ritual for you to, uh... Say or do something. like this that you pay $34.95 so that one day you Joey: Thank you. can look back at the disaster otherwise known as Doug: It's not a problem, miss potter. Passenger Junior Year. advisory is typical officer protocol. [Dawson opens the book to the first page.] [Scene: Outside the grocery store. Joey is Andie: Oh, wait. No, no, no I marked a page for waiting outside as Pacey comes out carrying a you. bad and eating a candy bar.] [Andie opens the book to a page with a picture of Pacey: Want a bite? Dawson and Pacey together as friends.] Joey: This is your solution? Dawson: Subtlety is not exactly your forte is it? Pacey: What are you talking about? Joey: You're leaving. Pacey: Uh-huh. 207 Joey: Just when things get tough, you're gonna Dawson: I haven't finished my best man speech pack up and leave. yet. Any thoughts? Pacey: Well, that's the general idea, yeah. Joey: Oh. I don't have much to say about Joey: Oh, real mature, Pacey. relationships these days, Dawson. Pacey: Well, what do you want me to do, sit Dawson: If you have someplace else you'd rather around all summer and watch from afar as you be, why don't you just go? and Dawson attempt to resuscitate your ailing Joey: What are you talking about? relationship? No, thanks. Dawson: Do I have to spell it out for you? Pacey's Joey: Well, I expected you to at least say good- going-away party. bye. Joey: I'm here, aren't I? Pacey: Oh, yeah, the good-bye scene. Played Dawson: Yeah, in body, but not in spirit. You've that one over a thousand times in my head. I got nothing positive to say. You're basically going come to you, heart in hand, and announce my through the motions with a scowl on your face. plans. You look at me, pained, but then, of course, Joey: Dawson, I'm doing the best I can. Can you the potter sarcasm kicks in and I leave never cut me some slack? getting what I came for. Dawson: Cut me some slack, Joey. Don't make Joey: What is that, Pacey? me feel like this! Pacey: You never ask me to stay. Ever. Joey: Like what? Joey: Look, that's not my decision. Dawson: Like you're stuck with me! I don't Pacey: Yes, it is. It always has been. You may be deserve that. too afraid to make it, but let's be honest with each Joey: You're right. I-- you don’t. I'm-- I'm sorry. other. The decision to be together or not be Dawson: Well, why don't you just go? All right? together has always been yours. Give the guy my best. Joey: All I asked for was time. Joey: I'm staying. Pacey: And that's exactly what you got. And [Scene: The docks by True Love. Grams, Jen, you're gonna get 3 more months of it. Andie, Jack and Pacey are there having a going Joey: I may be undecided, Pacey, but at least I’m away party for Pacey.] not running away. You can dress it up any way Grams: Oh, look! Star light, star bright, first star I you want, Pacey. It still comes down to the same see tonight. Ok, who wants to make the first wish? thing: You're giving up. Jen: Oh, my god--ow! Ow. That's a piece of a Pacey: I'm giving up. crab shell. Chipped my tooth. Great. Great. Just Joey: Yeah, you. what I need to keep men permanently away from Pacey: Me? me. Joey: Mm-hmm! Andie: Well, if that doesn't work, you can always Pacey: Ha ha ha. Turn around. It's your wall. join me this summer in the nunnery! Joey: Mm-hmm. Jack: At least you get to have relationships before Pacey: It's unfinished... Just like us. they fail. Joey: Believe it or not, Pacey, this is not the Grams: Good grief. You all sound like a bunch of ending that I asked for. old ladies. Pacey: Me either. But it's the ending we got, isn't Jen: Grams, it's been a tough couple of months. it? Grams: You don't know what tough is. Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. Jen: No offense, grams, but you have no idea [Scene: Dawson’s backyard. Mitch and Gale are what our lives are like. doing their rehearsal for the wedding with the Grams: What, you think I've never been in love Reverend present and Dawson and Joey as well.] before? Reverend: At this time, gale will begin her vows to Jen: Yeah. Once. With one man your whole entire Mitch. life. Gale: No offense, reverend, but I have at least 20 Grams: You know, when I was... Just a few years people coming for dinner in about an hour. older than you, I was working at Brunswick naval Mitch: And seeing as how gale and I have done hospital, and I met a boy who had the most all this before— beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. He was Reverend: Go on. We'll do the rest when it's for leaving for Pusan in the morning, but we had an real. entire glorious day on the beach, and at the end of Gale: Thank you, reverend. that day, he leaned in close to me and whispered, [Mitch and Gale leave to do their things.] "will you wait for me?" 208 Andie: So...What'd you do? [Scene: Inside the Grams Mobile. Grams is Grams: I froze. I knew if I leaned just 2 inches driving and Jen is in the Passenger seat. Jack closer, the world as I knew it would be changed and Andie are in the back seat.] forever. Grams: Jennifer? What's wrong? Jack: So you did nothing? Jen: I wish that I hadn't let Henry go without Andie: You didn't kiss him, you didn't try to speak telling him how I really feel. I wish... Now it's too to him. You just did nothing. Nothing. late. Jack: Did you ever wonder what your life might Grams: It's never too late. have been like if you had kissed him? Jen: Yeah, I suppose. Grams: That is just the point. I don't have to Grams: Here's what I suppose. wonder. The very next day, I got my best friend Jen: What on earth are you doing?! sally to cover the shift for me. And after 7 turbulent Grams: We are gonna catch that bus, and you're hours in the cargo hold of a CL30... I arrived in gonna tell that boy exactly how you feel. San Diego, went straight to the dock, and in front [Scene: On the corner near Joey’s wall. Joey of the entire crew of the U.S.S. Missouri, I kissed walks up to the corner carrying a bag, when him. Pacey who has been waiting for her, takes a Jen: That's funny. I had no idea gramps was in bottle out of the bag.] the Korean War. Pacey: What took you so long? I got thirsty. I Grams: He wasn’t. Thomas Culpepper... The boy called Bessie, and she called you. I tell you, it is with the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen... not easy work finishing things off. Died in Pusan in shallow water before he ever Joey: Pacey, what does this mean? made it off the boat. 2 years later, I married your Pacey: Well, it means you were right. That my grandfather. So I had 46 wonderful years with one leaving would be giving up on you. And I'm not man and one perfect kiss with another. And I have quite prepared to do that just yet. But it also no regrets. Wonder how many of you will be able means that I need to know that you're not quite to say that about your lives? prepared to give up on me yet either. So, all that [Scene: Dawson’s Back Yard. Dawson is there being said, I refer to the wall with its... Hastily yet when Gale comes up to him.] adoringly written S.O.S., Which I guess kinda Gale: Have you seen Dan? speaks for itself. I spent an hour and a half staring Dawson: No. Have you seen Joey? at this half-painted wall after we talked last night... Gale: Uh, no. Just staring and thinking. So, the way I figure it... [Cut to Dawson finding Joey] It's your turn to stare now. Dawson: Bessie called. She wants you to stop by [Pacey has painted on her wall “Ask Me to Stay”] the store on your way home. [Scene: Dawson’s Back Yard. The wedding is Joey: Thanks. going on and Gale and Mitch are giving their Dawson: Joey, about this afternoon... I don't want vows. Joey and Dawson just watch them from the to fight. That's the last thing I want to do. background.] Joey: Well, I don't-- I don't want to fight either, Gale: I do promise to love you... In good times Dawson. I'm sorry. If we're gonna have an honest and in bad, in sickness and in health. I loved you relationship, Dawson, then there's... Something before I knew you. I will love you for all eternity, you should know. I broke things off with Pacey, for you are my beloved, Mitch. not entirely, but in large part because... I didn't Mitch: You're my best friend. I loved you before I want to lose you. I may have lived across the knew you, and I will love you for eternity, for you creek, but it was only when I was rowing in this are my beloved. You're my best friend. direction that I actually felt like I was rowing home. Reverend: And now by the power vested in me, You're so much of my life, Dawson. I mean... Your I'm happy to pronounce you husband and wife... house is my house and your family is my family, Again. Mitch, you may kiss the bride. and there's not a single significant event I’ve [Scene: Inside the Gram’s Mobile. They are still experienced that you haven't experienced with on the road looking for Henry’s bus.] me, and I was so afraid of losing that. But...If that Andie: Grams, you've been driving for hours! His wasn't the choice... And if I thought that there was bus could be anywhere by now. a chance that you would forgive me... I may have Jack: Yeah. We could have missed him. chosen differently. And you deserve to know that. Grams: You can't miss a giant gray bus filled with high school football players. Like that one right there. 209 Jen: Where? Oh, my god. Pacey: Jo. Andie: Whoo! Oh, my god. Joey: Yep? Jack: Oh, my god! Ohh... Pacey: Don't I even get a good-bye? [Scene: At the roadway rest stop. Jen is running Joey: Good-bye, Pacey. around looking for Henry and shouting for him.] [Joey takes the camera and leaves the two of Jen: Ok! Henry? Um...Henry? Henry...Parker? them.] Hey--Henry! Henry parker! Out of my way! Come Dawson: Just wondering. [Sighs] what the hell on. Henry, you in there? are you doing here? [She is about to go into the bathroom when the Pacey: Ease up, man. I'm here for the wedding. bus driver stops her.] Dawson: Last I heard, you were sailing the 7 Bus Driver: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! seas. You can't go in there. What, have you lost your Pacey: As indeed I am. Tomorrow. Today I'm mind? here for your parents. Jen: Well, quite possibly, yes, I might have lost it. Dawson: I'll be sure to pass on your Henry... 9 months ago, you paid $500 to kiss me, congratulations. and I was too dumb to realize what that meant Pacey: Yeah. Speaking of congratulations... I and what you were really offering me, but I know guess I should be passing some on to you. now. It means that there really is such a thing as a Dawson: What are you talking about? second chance and that no matter how old or how Pacey: Well, she made her choice, Dawson. jaded you are, when you meet the person you're You're it. You got what you wanted. Things are supposed to be with, everything's gonna be new-- never gonna be the same between us, are they? a sunset, a cheesy love song, and especially sex. Dawson: No. Boys: Whoo! Pacey: Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think so. Jen: Henry, I’m the reason we didn't have sex [Scene: At the rest stop. Henry and Jen are after prom. along the side of the bus talking. Jack, Andie and Henry: Trust me, I know. Grams are by the car waiting.] Jen: Not because I was mad at you but because I Henry: Yeah. I'll write you every day! was more nervous than you were. I have been Jen: Just come back in one piece! with guys before, but I have never been with Boys: Whoo! anybody that I loved, and in that way, I'm more of Andie: That was awesome! a virgin than you could ever be. Jack: You know you gotta resign from the bitter [Laughter] club now. Henry: thanks a lot. Jen: Oh, I'll still be there in spirit. Jen: Come on. What do you care? Come here. Grams: Oh, I am so proud of you. You showed Boys: Yeah! Whoo! [Chanting] Henry! Henry! great, great courage today. How does it feel? Henry! Henry! Jen: Well, I feel like an idiot. A happy idiot. [Scene: Outside Dawson’s back porch. Joey runs Grams: Did she say happy? You don't know how into Pacey waiting there.] long I’ve waited to hear you say that word. Joey: Look, I can't do it, Pacey. I can't give you a Jen: Yeah, you and me both. Been waiting a long reason to stay. I have so much junk to work time to feel it. through, I don't even know where to begin the Andie: Ok! Ok, enough hugging for today. process at all. How I feel about you and how I feel Jen: You know, I think that we've still got one about Dawson— thing left to do on our carpe diem road trip. Jack, Pacey: Then you've made your choice. Right it's your turn. there. You've made your choice. Good for you. Jack: No. [Laughs] no. No way. Joey: I guess I have. Yeah. Jen: Our era of regret ends right now. What's the Pacey: Wasn't so hard, was it? Should have fastest route to Boston? made it months ago. Saved us all a lot of time and [Scene: In Dawson’s Backyard under one of the energy. And heartache. tents. Dawson and Joey are there alone.] [Dawson comes out of the house carrying a Dawson: You know, I used to be able to look in camera.] your eyes and know everything you were thinking. Dawson: I see all the members of the triangle are These days... I haven't a clue. present and accounted for. Joey: I was just thinking about the summer... Joey: Um, can I have this camera? I'm gonna go How much there's gonna be to do, and... I mean, take some pictures. we didn't get a chance to spend last summer 210 together, you and I. We're gonna have a lot to And I think that's what love really means... That catch up on. There'll be water-skiing with your you can forgive anything. So... To my parents... dad, and, um... Fourth of July on Waldeck island Who taught me that love does not conquer all... and... We can even go into Boston for the That love ends... And begins again. weekend. I mean... That would be fun. Guests: Hear, hear. Cheers. [Scene: Outside the Boston College. Jack, [Scene: On Dawson’s Pier. Joey and Dawson Andie, Jen and Grams are there and they have are there alone.] spotted Ethan at a table talking to someone.] Dawson: Hey. Andie: Yeah. Joey: Your speech was beautiful. Grams: Yeah. Dawson: Thanks. Jen: Yeah. Joey: What you said... Did you mean it, Dawson? Jack: All right, wish me luck. Dawson: Every word. Which is why you should [Cut to Jack coming up to Ethan at the table.] turn around and go. To Pacey. Ethan: Jack! Joey: What? Jack: Hey. Dawson: Last year, you had the opportunity to go Ethan: Hey. Uh...What are you doing here? to Paris and study, and because of me, you didn't. Jack: I--I just drove a really long way to tell you, Joey: Dawson, that wasn't your fault. um... More sort of to try and explain, really. No, I--I Dawson: Yes, it was my fault, Joey. I should have don't mean that. Uh... I wanna show you... Yeah, I made you go. But I was selfish, and I didn't want wanna show you that I can and that I’m not afraid you to go. I wanted you to stay here with me. And to... Oh, hell. This. I refuse to make that mistake again. Ethan: Uh...Jack... No. Joey: Well, Dawson, I mean, what if it's my Jack: Uh... I know there's people around, but choice? What if I want to stay? who cares, right? I mean, that's the whole point. I Dawson: Joey...Come on. Even I can see it. finally have the courage to do this. Pacey is this year's Paris. And this time... You Ethan: Jack, this is brad. have to go. You have to see for yourself, all right? Jack: As in your ex-boyfriend brad? I can stand here and tell you that it's a colossal Ethan: Uh...No. mistake and that all roads lead back to me, but Brad: As in his boyfriend brad. I think I'm gonna that's not gonna make any bit of difference. Words let you two talk this one out. See you at practice. and speeches sound great, but... They don't add Ethan: Ok. [Exhales] ha. Wow. Um...Ha. Ok. up to anything. All that matters right now is what Explanation time. you want. Jack: No. No explanations necessary. It's very Joey: I don't even know what I want, Dawson. clear to me that I just inducted myself into the Dawson: Yes, you do. You want him. You want halls of the permanently pathetic. him like I want you. You love him like I love you. Ethan: Please, jack, just listen. The timing just [Laughs] the only difference is he loves you back isn't there right now. And brad and I— the same way. And you deserve that. Ok? And I'm Jack: yeah, I really don't want to hear about the not gonna be the one who stands in the way of details of your joyful union right now, ok? you getting that. You're free. You can do whatever Ethan: Sure, jack. I'm sorry. I really am. you want. [Scene: In Dawson’s Backyard. Dawson is giving Joey: But, Dawson, I want us to still be friends, the Best Man speech. Joey is just watching him and I want to know that you don't hate me— as Gale and Mitch are enjoying every word.] Dawson: They're just words, Joey. They're just Dawson: The first time my parents got married, words. 'Cause after you're done dispensing your they were very young. They were just out of pleasantries here, you're gonna turn around and college. And, um, I remember looking at the photo you're gonna walk away from me. Aren't you? album as a kid, wondering why I wasn't in any of Joey: I have to, otherwise, I'll never know. the pictures. It's hard when you love someone that Dawson: Just go. much to imagine them having this entire life that Joey: But, Dawson— you weren't even there for. And I have to say that, Dawson: jo, go, I'm telling you, before I take it all uh... Being here today, experiencing this firsthand, back, all right? Just go! Go. finally getting to be in all the pictures, I wouldn't [Scene: Inside the McPhee Kitchen. Jack is trade this for anything. 'Cause I’d much rather be cleaning up, when Jack comes into the house.] a part of what you guys have now than what you Mr. McPhee: Hey, jack, I'm glad you're back. had then, that point where everything is forgiven. Want to show you something. 211 Jack: I'm not really in the mood right now. Andie: Yeah. I think that the words "I wanna be Mr. McPhee: Hey, what's the matter? alone right now" are used far too often around Jack: I just wanna be alone. here. Kinda ranks right up there with, uh... "Can Mr. McPhee: Hey, hey, hey, you could talk to me. we talk?" Jack: This is something you really don't wanna Jack: And there's those countless references hear about, believe me. towards all things Freud and Spielberg. Mr. McPhee: You don't know that. Jen: Yeah. I'm pretty sure of it. We're not in Jack: Really? You wanna hear that I found out Capeside anymore, Toto. There is some alternate that Ethan got back together with his ex? You reality where our intellects are sharper, our quips want to hear that I found that out after I kissed are wittier, and our hearts are repeatedly broken him? while faintly in the background, some soon to be Mr. McPhee: Well, that's... Interesting. out of date contempt pop music plays. Jack: Yeah, it's-- it's interesting, right? Come on, Dawson: So why does it hurt so much? admit it. The thought of me kissing another guy Jen: Because our pain makes us real, Dawson. disgusts you. I disgust you! But we can't do it alone. None of us can. Sit down. Mr. McPhee: That is not true. Dawson: So...What'd you guys do today? Jack: Yes, it is! Andie: Oh, my god. You are not gonna believe Mr. McPhee: You're angry. You're hurting right these two. Well, it all started with Jen. now, but I will not let you pick an argument with Jen: Well... me just so you can vent your frustration! [Scene: On the Docks by “True Love” Joey Jack: No, no. I spent an entire year developing comes running down the pier trying to catch up this relationship... And working on it. Now it's a with Pacey. But he comes walking up from behind wash! The whole year's a wash! My whole life's a her.] wash! Joey: Pacey! Pacey! Pacey! Pacey! Pace! Mr. McPhee: Your life is not a wash! You hurt Pacey? now because you had the guts to put yourself out Pacey: You want something, jo? there and go after what you wanted. Joey: I want to talk to you. Jack: [Sobs] I can't. [Sniffles] I can't keep going Pacey: No, no. A bit late for this now. I'm leaving. through this. It's like having all the problems of a You can't stop me, so don't even try. typical teenager, and there's this whole other level Joey: No. That's not why I'm here. of constant fear... And pain. Do you know the Pacey: So why are you here? You wanna say anguish I went through over a kiss- one stupid good-bye again? Maybe you wanted to rub it in a little kiss? Most people don't have to do that! little bit, huh? Mr. McPhee: You're right. They don't. Joey: Look, I don't want to stop you, Pacey, and I Jack: Then why me? I don't want to be different. I don't want to stop Dawson, and I don't want to be didn't ask to be gay. stopped, not by either of you, not by anyone, see? Mr. McPhee: No more than I asked for a gay I mean, that's what this whole year has been son... But, boy, am I glad I got one. about. We've been trying to stop each other from Jack: You don't mean that. moving on and from growing up, but...But not you. Mr. McPhee: Yeah. I do. I mean, you're different, and... You've challenged [Scene: Inside Dawson’s Bedroom. Dawson is me every step of the way and you've been there near tears as he walks up to his room, to discover every step of the way. Andie, Jen and Jack sitting there waiting for him.] Pacey: Jo, departure time is in t-minus 30 Andie: Your official pick-me-up posse. seconds, so if there's a point, I suggest you get to Jen: Yeah. Andie and I were chatting and thought it. that maybe you could use a little company. So Joey: I think I’m in love with you. then I take it upon myself to call jack attack here Pacey: You think or you know? and tell him to hurry over. Joey: I know. I've known it since the moment you Jack: And then I took it upon myself to run to the kissed me and maybe even before that. And-- video store and grab some movies. [exhales]-- scary as it is, I don't want to deny it any Dawson: Thanks, guys. I really appreciate you more, Pacey. I don't want to run from it, and I don't coming over, but I really think what I need right want to let it run from me. now is to just— Pacey: So... What are we gonna do here, jo? Jen: Sorry, Dawson. No can do. Joey: I wanna come with you. Pacey: Ha. What? You crazy? 212 Joey: Mm-mmm. I wanna stop standing still. I Joey: Of course. I'm just kinda worried about the wanna move forward. I wanna come with you. next change of clothes. Pacey: What bout Bessie and the B&B? They Pacey: That's nothing to worry about. We're need you. gonna hit the next port in a few days. Joey: Not as much as I need you, Pacey. Joey: Few days? Pacey: Ah-ah-ah! Pacey: Yeah! Or a few days after that. Who really Joey: [Chuckles] permission to come aboard? cares? Pacey: Permission granted. You can swim, can't [True Love sails…Ending Credits] you?

* Enf of Season III *

213 Contents

1. Like A Virgin 1

2. The Homecoming 10

3. None of the Above 19

4. Home Movies 29

5. Indian Summer 38

6. Secrets and Lies 46

7. Escape From Witch Island 54

8. Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner 63

9. Four To Tango 72

10. First Encounters of the Close Kind 83

11. Barefoot at Capefest 92

12. A Weekend in the Country 103

13. Northern Lights 112

14. Valentine’s Day Massacre 121

15. Crime and Punishment 131

16. To Green, With Love 141

17. Cinderella Story 150

18. Neverland 160

19. Stolen Kisses 170

20. The Longest Day 178

21. Show Me Love 188

22. The Anti-Prom 197

23. True Love 206

214