/ VOLUME 144, ISSUE 8 MONDAY,Campus APRIL 3, 2017 Times SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873 / campustimes.org Constitution Students Rewrite Volunteer in Cancelled Haiti

By DAVID SCHILDKRAUT By AMANDA MARQUEZ NEWS EDITOR NEWS EDITOR

SA’s constitution rewrite has Professor of Psychology been nixed. Andrew Elliot is trying to Students’ Association break down barriers by help- (SA) Government Elections ing build libraries. and Rules Committee Chair As a part of his class “Com- Jake Braniecki—head of petence and Motivation in the Constitution Task Force Developing Countries,” Elliot (CTF)—announced at last and four students traveled to Monday’s SA Senate meeting Borgne, Haiti in collabora- that this year’s SA would no tion with the Haiti Outreach longer pursue a constitution Pwoje Espwa (HOPE)—a rewrite to be voted on during non-governmental organiza- spring elections, as originally tion focused around develop- intended. ing communities in Borgne— The decision follows several over spring break to assist weeks of contentious discussion YIYUN HUANG / PHOTO EDITOR the local leadership generate at Senate meetings and a lack of Students debate affirmative action policy during an event organized by the Debate Union and Asian American Alliance Thurs- ideas for building libraries in transparency for both senators day the poverty-stricken country. and the student body. The CTF, While there, Elliot and his which had been working on a students participated in meet- rewrite, faced other challenges, Debating Affirmative Action ings with Haitian community including a poorly attended members, took excursions to town hall and a cancelled By SAM PASSANISI would close with a rebut- Not only is affirmative ac- building sites, and embarked SENIOR STAFF meeting due to a lack of quorum. tal—also known as a “whip” tion a reductive policy that on a seven-hour hike to scout Members on the CTF argument—from each team, reduces college applicants to the location for a new library supported the call to table the Is affirmative action a use- followed by floor speeches their race, Aziz argued, it con- to be built. planned timeline. ful and progressive policy— and auxiliary material from tributes to a trend of minor- As Elliot and his students “This is such an important another tool against racism? the audience. The evening’s ity students dropping out of hiked under the beating sun, document that if we were to try Or is it merely a well-in- debate focused on affirmative college because they’re less local children dressed in and get it out at the same time as tentioned idea that’s caused action in higher education, us- academically prepared than ragged clothes and barefoot, elections, the quality wouldn’t more harm than good? ing African-Americans as an their peers. Aziz attributed walked passed them. Wit- be there,” junior and task force That was the question de- example of a minority group. this to financial and academic nessing extreme poverty first- member Christian Keenan, an bated Thursday night in a Yi opened the debate by disparities between predomi- hand, Elliot said, allowed his associate All-Campus Judicial Dewey lecture hall, in an providing background on the nantly white and minority students to connect course Council justice, said. “It would event co-hosted by Debate idea of affirmative action. Its high schools. He also argued content about achievement be rushed, and I don’t think that Union and Asian American purpose, she noted, is to give that affirmative action is a motivation to the children an important document like this Alliance (AAA) titled “The minority groups the oppor- sort of “easy fix” for univer- they saw, as they had to be should be rushed.” Admissions Game.” tunity to compete in arenas sity administrators, who can highly motivated in order to The constitution rewrite has Two teams debated the eve- where they would ordinarily feel like they have “solved walk an hour or two to class been going on since the creation ning’s topic: whether affir- be at a disadvantage. She not- racism” by endorsing affirma- everyday. of the CTF at a November mative action is “an effective ed, as well, that opponents of tive action policies, and don’t “I wanted to teach my stu- SA meeting. At the meeting, policy in the advancement of affirmative action have tend- feel a need to address other dents both the conceptual, Braniecki promised that work certain minority groups in the ed to tout Asian-Americans as systemic issues. theoretical parts of achieve- on the rewrite would “be done U.S.” a so-called “model minority.” Heitsch was next to speak, ment motivation and show in a year.” Each side had researched The idea of a “model minor- arguing again for the pro- them how it works in a devel- He additionally promised the pros or cons of affirma- ity” is a myth, Yi argued, and affirmative action stance. oping context,” said Elliot. posted minutes and open tive action and would be pre- it is an obstacle to solidarity He pointed out that affirma- One of the most important meetings to ensure transparency. senting their assigned view- among Asian Americans. tive action has the ability to parts of the class, according point. Access to higher education, change society’s perception to Elliot, is to provide stu- Lack of Transparency The pro-affirmative action Yi argued, is one of the few of minorities, by giving them dents with both positive and Freshman Senator Leif viewpoint was presented by opportunities for social mo- better opportunities to break negative models for how and Johansen explained that despite sophomore and co-president bility in the United States. Af- into white collar fields. He how not to do developmental being on the task force, he’s of AAA Leta Yi, with senior firmative action acts to disrupt acknowledged the problem of work. been left in the dark for much and former policy-style de- the racial barriers preventing inequality in high schools— “There is a lot of talk in de- of the time. bate captain Nick Heitsch. African-Americans and other but argued that the wider base velopment literature and the “We could have communicated The con viewpoint was pre- minority groups from having of minorities who have access development world about the much better,” Johansen said. “I sented by senior and for- access to the most elite col- to higher education as a re- ill that’s done when people still don’t have most of the mer Debate Union president leges. sult of affirmative action will come in feeling like they have documentation. Campus Times Reefat Aziz alongside fresh- After Yi had concluded enable more high school stu- all the answers and force their got more documentation than I man and Debate Union mem- her opening argument, Aziz dents to pursue college educa- projects upon a needy group,” did on the constitution rewrite, ber Anthony Pericolo. responded by questioning tion. He stressed, as well, that said Elliot. and I’m on the committee. Debate Union President whether affirmative action affirmative action should be To prevent that outcome, There could have been more Miriam Kohn introduced has actually helped minority viewed as a step towards a so- Elliot said the first step is to organization and we could have both teams, and described groups, and whether the pol- lution, rather than a complete get to know local leadership. had more hard evidence of what the format of the debate. icy has had unintended nega- solution in and of itself. Once a relationship has been we’re working on.” Each team would present two tive consequences for minori- Pericolo responded by argu- formed, both parties can build The goal of the wasn’t to be arguments, and the debate ties. ing that the opportunity ideas together. SEE REWRITE PAGE 3 SEE DEBATE PAGE 2 SEE HAITI PAGE 2 INSIDE ACTIONS SPEAK, REPTILES ABOUND TRUMP’S YUGE WALLISCH TALKS SO CAN WORDS IN ROCHESTER SKIN FLICK LACROSSE THIS CT PAGE 5 OPINION PAGE 7 FEATURES PAGE 13 A&E PAGE 16 SPORTS PAGE 2 / campustimes.org NEWS / MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 Affirmative Action Jump DEBATE FROM PAGE 1 in building their resumes be- cause their extracurricular to attend college, absent the opportunities were more lim- requisite preparation in high ited than those of white stu- school, is of little use. Stu- dents. Others proposed that dents who are admitted to affirmative action could be college under affirmative ac- harmful to Asian-American tion, he said, are more likely college applicants, who are to attend prestigious colleges often held to higher standards where they are unlikely to than their white counterparts. succeed. Underrepresented Freshman Jamal Holtz said minorities should instead he had heard about the event strive to attend mid-range through his Intro to Debate colleges—which may offer class, as well as through more support and network- some of the event’s co- ing—where they will do bet- sponsors, the Minority Male ter. Leadership Association and Following Pericolo’s the Black Students’ Union. speech, Yi responded with “I think the debate was very her final argument. Affirma- informative for people who YIYUN HUANG / PHOTO EDITOR tive action combats “token- didn’t know much about af- ism,” she said, by building firmative action,” Holtz said. CHINESE DIPLOMATS VISIT CAMPUS a critical mass of minori- He said that he had done Diplomats from the Chinese consulate in New York City visited campus Thursday to discuss education affairs with students. ties at colleges and making previous research on affirma- them truly diverse. Far from tive action in high school. forcing minorities to attend Other attendees offered PUBLIC SAFETY UPDATE colleges, she added, affir- their perspectives as well. mative action is a program “It was a lot of points I had that merely increases their heard before,” junior Mahir Riverview Carpet Burned (1) agency. It is, as well, one of Khan said, but added that it the few programs to directly was interesting to hear the MARCH 25— Burn marks were found on a carpeted 1 address systemic racism. affirmative action debate area of Riverview. Aziz gave the evening’s summed up all in one place. closing argument, beginning Sophomore Payal Morari also enjoyed the debate. Water Leak in Chambers Hall (2) with the accusation that the pro-affirmative action debat- “I didn’t expect to agree MARCH 26—A water leak in Chambers Hall was re- ers had been blinded by a with points from both sides, ported. “white savior complex.” For and at first I was a little con- 2 many people, Aziz said, col- flicted,” she said. 3 lege is a bad idea, and results Morari added that she felt Student’s Vehicle Damaged by Ball in nothing more than finan- both sides came up with “re- MARCH 28—A student’s vehicle was damaged by a cial debt, with affirmative ally valid points,” and that foul ball hit from the GLC softball field. action widening the wealth she would be interested in at- gap and making it more diffi- tending other debates. cult for minorities to succeed AAA and Debate Union Student Injured on Fauver Field (3) in that regard. had been planning the event After the conclusion of the all semester, Yi explained, MARCH 29—A student injured on Fauver Field was adding that she herself was taken to the Emergency Department for treatment. debate, audience members were invited to come for- debating for the first time. ward and give short speech- “It was definitely an eye- es. Some argued for affirma- opening experience for me,” Parking Boot Damaged tive action, pointing out that she said. Passanisi is a member of MARCH 30—A non-affiliated person damaged a park- low-income and minority ing boot when they tried to drive away with it attached students could be hampered the Class of 2017. to their car. MAP COURTESY OF UR COMMUNICATIONS Haiti Jump Information provided by the Department of Public Safety. HAITI FROM PAGE 1 their own strengths and encour- THIS WEEK ON CAMPUS aged group work. “My students aren’t coming “The supportive environment TUESDAY | APRIL 4 THURSDAY | APRIL 6 in with the mindset that they’re of this class taught me to be helping the poor people of Haiti, braver and more confident when GOLDBERG LECTURE REFUGEE/IMMIGRATION TOWN HALL they’re coming in with the mind- making public speeches,” said MOREY 525, 2 P.M.-3:15 P.M. MOREY 321, 6 P.M.-8 P.M. set of being open to learning Lin. Italy’s former Minister of Economy and Finance Vittorio Learn about how refugees and immigrants fit into the about a different way of living,” Rochester community and learn how to advocate for For professor Elliot, a high- Grilli, a UR alum, will deliver a lecture on “Banking and said Elliot. Finance in the Post-Crisis World.” them. light of the course was getting to For Elliot to successfully com- know his students on a deeper bine teaching and developmental level. BASEBALL VS. BROCKPORT EASTMAN OPERA THEATRE work, his “two loves,” he cen- “Although I get to know my TOWERS FIELD, 4:30 P.M.-8 P.M. KODAK HALL, 7:30 P.M.-10:30 P.M. tered much of his course around students a bit during normal The Eastman Opera Theatre presents Cendrillon, an Come see the ‘Jackets take on the Brockport Golden trust. classes, it’s different when Eagles in baseball. opera based on the fairy tale of Cinderella. “I think it’s important for peo- you’re sleeping in the same ple to trust each other and get to hotel, traveling on flights know each other well because with them, or riding in bumpy we do a lot of open discussion of car rides for two hours,” said WEDNESDAY| APRIL 5 FRIDAY | APRIL 7 what we’re processing and what Elliot. “To see students really we’re seeing,” he said. engaged, be open, and then Sophomore Danqi Lin came PHELPS COLLOQUIUM UNDOCUALLY TRAINING changed is what you live for EISENBERG ROTUNDA, 4 P.M.-5:30 P.M.. FRIEL LOUNGE, 2 P.M.-4:30 P.M. out of her shell by participating as an educator. It’s what gets Brain and cognitive sciences professor Rajeev Raizada Learn about the history, difficulties, and legislation in discussions and making pub- you up and inspires you to will be delivering a lecture on “Using Data Science to undocumented immigrants face on a daily basis. At- lic presentations. The small class work hard.” Unlock the Brain.” tendees will learn how to be an ally to undocumented size of the seminar, she said, Marquez is a member of immigrants. helped each student recognize the Class of 2017. IMMIGRATION MONOLOGUES AN EVENING OF DANCE AND DIALOGUE CORRECTIONS HOYT AUDITORIUM, 6:30 P.M.-8 P.M. SPURRIER DANCE STUDIO, 8 P.M.-9:30 P.M. Immigrant students will be sharing their stories and The Program of Dance and Movement presents “On experiences from their time living in the US. the Verge of the Outermost Edge of US.” The program is directed by Rose Pasquarello Beauchamp. Last week’s print edition was incorrectly labelled as Volume 8. It was actually Volume 7.

If you are sponsoring an event that you wish to submit for the calendar, please email [email protected] by Monday evening with a brief summary, including the date, time, location, sponsor, and cost of admission. MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 / NEWS campustimes.org / PAGE 3 Button Walk Aims for Accessibility on River Campus By DAVID SCHILDKRAUT any issues they found. Mat- NEWS EDITOR thews, however, decided to change the reporting pro- As part of its attempt to cess to a digital one using a address accessibility on Google Form for continuous campus, the Student’s As- reporting. sociation (SA) Government The Button Walk revealed Senate Campus Services the degree to which campus Committee held a “Button may be unintentionally inac- Walk” Friday. cessible. Both the door to the Participants walked around Susan B. Anthony Hall el- campus trying to find broken evator and the Sage Art Cen- handicap buttons and inac- ter were found to not open cessible ramps on campus. automatically. The front door The Button Walk came a to O’Brien Hall had broken handicap buttons, and Wild- er Hall was found to be en- ‘It’s important tirely inaccessible. Matthews is planning to that for people compile a list of accessibil- ity concerns to submit to UR. who maybe He is hoping that it brings to the attention of the admin- don’t have the istration the issue of acces- sibility, and that it leads to ability to open changes being made on cam- pus to improve accessibility. doors, those “I think there are a lot of JUSTIN TROMBLY / EDITOR-IN-CHIEF students who are passion- doors can be As UR strives to become a more inclusive campus, accessibility has become an increasingly important issue to students. ate about this, who want to come to these events,” Mat- opened for of the difficulties faced by Deputy Chair of the Campus Brown explained that the thews said. “I hope students people with disabilities on a Services Committee Alexan- event’s organizer, Campus are aware of this on a day to them.’ daily basis. dria Brown, a junior who is Services Committee Chair day basis, that they are not The event was inspired, in also a member of the Cam- and senior Dan Matthews, just passing by, not notic- part, by the apparent need pus Times Editorial Board. was also inspired by the ing that this is a real issue. I for the accessibility of cam- “It’s important that for peo- Walk for Light last fall. hope at the very least, these day after “Stories for Acces- pus to be assessed. ple who maybe don’t have Similar to the Walk for programs brought that to sibility,” an event held by “Somebody mentioned the ability to open doors, Light, students went out people’s attention.” the Campus Services Com- how sometimes, even the those doors can be opened around campus in small Schildkraut is a member of mittee to raise awareness buttons don’t work,” said for them.” groups. They then reported the Class of 2020. Progress Pushed Back To Next Semester LIKE TO

REWRITE FROM PAGE 1 due.” constitution would be depen- tion should look like. They Work to Continue dent on the approval of next should decide in consulta- WRITE? that’s how the process ended At Monday’s SA meet- year’s SA government. tion with the Senate and the up. He pointed out though ing, Braniecki announced student body how SA should that many of the senators the start of project-based SA Reactions look like and then simply who expressed concerns subcommittees that senators Senators were overwhelm- work on making the constitu- about the rewrite did not could sign up to work on. ingly in support of the deci- tion based on that.” take advantage of the open Appropriations Committee sion to scrap the rewrite. Sophomore Senator Nick CTF meetings, which may Treasurer and senior Nicho- “The fact that this choice Foti echoed this sentiment. have contributed to concerns las Mavrelis explained that came from the internal com- “I knew that the CTF had about transparency. this work, which will con- mittee truly shows me that a huge task ahead of them, Many senators have ex- tinue to the end of the semes- this decision was made for but I really expected and an- pressed concerns at SA meet- ter, will “focus on five or six the wellbeing of our student ticipated the student body ings on transparency, and major topics” that would be body,” sophomore Sena- to have the opportunity to several have alleged that the included in a final constitu- tor Gabriella Lipschitz said. vote on a new constitution JOIN CTF wasted over a month on tion document. “There have been feelings of this spring,” Foti said. “The grammatical analysis in the “It could be factored in, possible neglect in regard to committee told us they’d document rather than agree but I don’t think it’ll be gos- how much work [CTF mem- have something by the end THE on structure and functions pel,” Mavrelis said. “It’s not bers] have put into these of the year and they come up before looking at wording. going to be like, ‘You have to documents. I see this as a short.” CAMPUS Other allegations includ- do this.’ These are going to display of passion—for our Foti continued by stressing ed a lack of documentation be mere recommendations to school, its population, and the need for more input from available to senators. The the next year’s group.” the wellbeing of both. I think the student body and a more TIMES Campus Times previously Mavrelis confirmed that this was the right decision, committed CTF. published images of docu- this meant the work done as ultimately it came from a “The student body needs ments accessible to senators. over the past year could be loving place.” to and deserves to know and According to members of disregarded in its entirety by Other senators were more contribute to what is going the CTF, further documenta- future. critical of the process, but into their constitution,” he tion has been put together, A look at the document, supportive of continuing the said. “There should be regu- and there is a progress docu- provided by a sitting sena- project. lar communication with the ment that is updated regu- tor, shows that the topics the “I believe that the Consti- student body at-large right larly. CTF plans to work on during tution Task Force found took from the start to ensure that Those with access to this the remainder of the semes- the responsible decision of SA can be trusted, inclusive documentation indicated that ter are: the executive session, not submitting an incom- and transparent every step Braniecki should be the one special elections, committee plete or vague document to of the way. I think leader- to provide the documenta- and executive director ap- be voted by Senate or the ship on the task force was tion. Requests to Braniecki pointments, Senate authority, student body,” sophomore strong, but the composition for documentation, however, SA group relations, and an Senator Andres Ollarvez needs to be more committed, EMAIL have gone unanswered. appendix to the constitution. said. “I believe that in the and the people sitting on the In a brief email response, The CTF is hopeful that its future the task force should CTF need to constantly and PUBLISHER Braniecki said that the CTF work will be used as a base establish a clear outline for consistently be held account- had “made some excellent for a continuation of the re- what they want to achieve. able.” @CAMPUS- progress and have begun dis- write during the next aca- They shouldn’t be constantly Schildkraut is a member of cussions that are long over- demic year. Any work on the discussing how the constitu- the Class of 2020. TIMES.ORG PAGE 4 / campustimes.org NEWS / MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017

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CITY TECH Follow US: WHERE CAN TECHNOLOGY TAKE YOU? PAGE 5 / campustimes.org MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 OPINIONS EDITORIAL OBSERVER EDITORIAL BOARD Sticks and Stones Not Fooling Anyone news.” hether the pur- cern. Provocative materials flyers were made for joking It’s difficult to decide what pose was for are not all condemnable by purposes, jokes that hint at a terminology suits what you a joke or for a nature; the difference be- growing white supremacist can say with who and where. callW to action, the alt-right tween terming something a movement that would direct- Our generation throws a lot of flyers that have been found progressive accomplishment ly threaten a huge portion of slang around only to demand around campus are unaccept- as opposed to provocative the student body aren’t par- that other words be chosen with able. Simply put, the flyers incitement can sometimes ticularly funny. By ISABEL DRUKKER a pinpoint precision. Words to- A&E EDITOR support a white supremacist simply be time. Whether it day are both malleable as silly agenda, an agenda that dis- was the women’s lib move- To say putty and hard as bricks. Some criminates against members ment or civil rights crusades, that an ideology I love my cat, Toulouse, very things are easy to let slip, some of our community and there- many of the ideas that now that endorses pan- much. have a greater impact than ex- fore must be condemned. seem so obviously worthy of We share my room and he pected. Moreover, the idea that our devotion were once con- European supremacy has lots of toys to play with An actual queen of faux paus, sidered radical. and domination and kitty forts to climb. When I’ve had my share of saying the As long as the materials the lighting is right, you betcha wrong thing at the wrong time. over all non-whites We’re not yet sure incite a broader conversation is somehow just I’m taking at least 30 pictures I always try to follow it with if these flyers were that either educates or intro- of him. On slow mornings, I that heart-pounding moment duces new, difficult ideas to another idea in the let him watch videos made for and all the dreaded eye contact printed as a wide- whomever they’re direct to- cats where he can watch virtual and the heaviest, hardest words marketplace of ideas, scale trolling effort or ward, they have a legitimate one that needs to mice run around. to say, “Sorry. I was wrong.” with genuine intent reason to exist. We don’t But he started peeing inces- But sometimes I don’t, be- think universities should, by be considered on santly on my bed, so I had to cause it’s easier to not say any- to radicalize, but the and large, be in the business put my foot down. thing. But I regret the times I’ve its supposed merits, truth is, it doesn’t of saying who can and can- betrays a deep moral The vet said his problem was failed to properly apologize really matter. not have a voice. behavioral. Sometime in the more than the times I’ve mis- But to posit the ideas of confusion. past week, my cat got pissed takenly said the wrong thing. the explicitly racist alt-right, and my mattress got pissed One of those was an accident, whose greatest intellectual on. The vet told me to make a the other was filled with intent. only privileged liberal arts achievement is Pepe innova- To those who are angry statement. And no, ignorance is not syn- students would have the gall tion, flies in the face of the that these flyers and all of So now his food, water, onymous with innocence. But to tear down openly racist idea of a “broader conversa- their ghoulish connotations and litter box are in the base- staying silent is a decision and propaganda is embarrass- tion.” If they had their way, have appeared, stay angry, ment. He’s only allowed in my an action, the two most defining ingly stupid. To say that an the “broader conversation” but direct it usefully. Equat- room with a chaperone. The and damning traits of character. ideology that endorses pan- would be significantly nar- ing alt-righters with Nazis first night the rules were en- The vet told me that what- European supremacy and su- rowed. is, ultimately, unhelpful and forced, he slept in the living ever conflict happened between periority over all non-whites We’re not yet sure if these incorrect. Though they cer- room. He meowed all night, Toulouse and I would still be is somehow just another idea flyers were printed as a wide- tainly share some similar but my housemates and I suf- present. Within his recent po- in the marketplace of ideas, scale trolling effort or with ideas, it has to be remem- fered through it until he went liteness is an underlying agen- one that needs to be consid- genuine intent to radicalize, bered that the latter was a to sleep. da to pee on my bed, even if he ered on its supposed merits, but the truth is, it doesn’t re- political party with a para- And since that first night, acts otherwise. But the impor- betrays a deep moral confu- ally matter. military and proud members. Toulouse hasn’t peed anywhere tant thing is that my cat stopped sion. Do you hear that? It’s The flyers have managed Putting unsigned flyers up but his litter box. ruining my sheets every time I a clatter of keyboards and to make the large majority on a college campus to get Actions speak louder than left the house. a distant muttering—“So of campus at the very least a rise out of students is the words—particularly when And as much as I hate to ad- much for the tolerant left.” uncomfortable, and at the desperate flailings of people there’s a language barrier be- mit it, it’s the same with words. Controversy in itself is not most, feel highly offended who’re still pissed off about cause you are communicating If words are so unimportant, the primary cause for con- or threatened. Even if the Gamergate. with a cat. I first learned this if they actually mean so lit- cliché when I read the “Saman- tle—just apologize. If words tha” series by the American can never hurt us, would you Girl company (highly recom- mind throwing a few of those This editorial is published with the consent of a majority of the Editorial Board: Justin Trombly (Editor-in-Chief), mend) but it’s been reinforced our way, along with all the Jesse Bernstein (Managing Editor), Vennela Pandaraboyina (Opinions Editor), Angela Lai (Publisher), Ben over my years at UR especially. sticks and stones? The action Schmitz (Sports Editor), and Alexandria Brown (Community Member). The Editor-in-Chief and the Editorial Writing professors teach of apologizing—that would Board make themselves available to the UR community’s ideas and concerns. Email [email protected]. “show, not tell.” Fellow danc- mean so much. If you don’t feel ers offer, “Really emote!” And like regulating your language, friends complain that their sig- pair it with the verbal cushion nificant other apologized, but explaining that. Explain that never changed. Actions speak you have decided words are louder than words, because for adornment and actions are as much as I hate to admit it, for defining you as a person. If Campus Times words don’t have to mean any- you don’t want to define your- SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873 thing if you don’t want them to. self via your words, you have Wilson Commons 102 Lying is easy. to do so with your actions. I’ll University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14627 Office: (585) 275-5942 / Fax: (585) 273-5303 Toulouse has been so polite change my perception of you campustimes.org / [email protected] it’s startling. It’s pleasant, but accordingly. shocking, to have a feral cat I My cat can’t verbally apolo- EDITOR-IN-CHIEF JUSTIN TROMBLY adopted acting better than most gize for what he’s done, but as MANAGING EDITOR JESSE BERNSTEIN of the adults I know. What I’ve a person you can. Let’s say it’s AMANDA MARQUEZ ERIC FRANKLIN learned, with people as well not an option, because I un- NEWS EDITORS HUMOR EDITOR DAVID SCHILDKRAUT LAUREN SHARPE as with cats, is that actions are derstand, apologizing is hard. SPORTS EDITORS VENNELA PANDARABOYINA TREVOR WHITESTONE what you should demand from Some words that could have OPINIONS EDITOR ISABEL DRUKKER YIYUN HUANG yourself the most and expect originally meant nothing still A&E EDITORS PHOTO EDITOR BEN SCHMITZ SARAH WEISE from others the least. hurt. Just like some words that PRESENTATION EDITOR SCOTT DANIELS SHAE RHINEHART What’s confusing in our po- you don’t actually mean are FEATURES EDITORS COPY CHIEF JAMES GUNN LUIS NOVA litical time, though, is that word really hard to say. The words ILLUSTRATION EDITOR SCOTT ABRAMS choice has become an action “I’m sorry” are an admission SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR in itself. Words are coded and of fault, and maybe you don’t PUBLISHER ANGELA LAI loaded with underlying mean- want that. BUSINESS MANAGER NICOLE ARSENEAU ings until they’re too heavy To avoid this maze of words, to use in casual conversation. intent, action, and character, Full responsibility for material appearing in this publication rests with the Editor-in-Chief. Opinions expressed in columns, letters, op-eds, or comics are not necessarily the views of the editors or the University of Rochester. Campus Times is printed weekly on Mondays throughout the academic year, except around and during There now exists a spectrum of though, there is one simple so- University holidays. All issues are free. Campus Times is published on the World Wide Web at www.campustimes.org, and is updated Mondays following publication. how seriously words are taken, lution: Stop peeing everywhere. Campus Times is SA funded. All materials herein are copyright © 2017 by Campus Times. and it runs all the way from Drukker is a member of “trigger warnings” to “fake the Class of 2017. It is our policy to correct all erroneous information as quickly as possible. If you believe you have a correction, please email [email protected]. MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 / OPINIONS campustimes.org / PAGE 6 OP-ED Helping the Homeless? By LINDSAY WROBEL Mental health services for the ing homeless for homeless” in ilege that is Homeless 4 Home- who have been homeless and homeless are abysmal, and are short shifts is at best not provid- less, these members of our those who work to end home- often the reason so many re- ing any real lens through which community are forced to walk lessness in order to actually Walking up the steps of Wil- main homeless. Where roughly the brothers, or the student past a degrading caricature of educate the University commu- son Commons on Saturday 6 percent of the general popu- body, may understand home- their real, lived experiences. nity in a meaningful way. evening, I found myself star- lation face mental illness, that lessness and at worst offensive Homelessness is not sitting Delta Upsilon should con- ing at a pair of L.L. Bean boots number jumps to 20-25 percent and harmful to members of our in a box for three hours or more sider spending some of the 48 sticking out of the opening of for the homeless, the people community. They are entirely often than not, sitting in a box hours that it currently uses to a large box emblazoned with, who often have the lowest ac- sure of when they’ll be able to at all. Homelessness can come sit on the steps of Wilson Com- “Homeless 4 Homeless.” Each cess to care. go inside to a warm, dry bed, in the form of living in a motel, mons in boxes to instead volun- year, Delta Upsilon puts on This is only the tip of the ice- and when they’ll have their a car, or a shelter—homeless teer for Habitat for Humanity this philanthropic event dur- berg when it comes to home- next meal. They retain access individuals can be students, or one of the many organiza- ing which they sit in their box lessness, and I have learned to UHS and UCC, and those veterans, people working mul- tions in Rochester that provide in shifts over the course of absolutely none of this infor- who walk by regularly stop and tiple jobs or those escaping services for the homeless—and 48 hours, attempting to raise mation from DU’s event in the speak to them or bring them abusive households. Combat- organizing the University com- awareness and money to do- four years I’ve been at the Uni- food and drink. ing homelessness means treat- munity to volunteer as well. nate to Habitat for Humanity. versity to witness it. The boxes are placed in a ing the homeless with respect Going forward, it is my hope Fighting homelessness, no For an event that claims to highly visible spot for the pur- and dignity, and DU’s event that Delta Upsilon consid- doubt, is a worthy cause— have the aim of raising aware- pose of using that spectacle to does not even approach that ers the real, harmful impacts homeless individuals face a ness, Homeless 4 Homeless attract attention. However, the standard. of what I’m sure is a well-in- barrage of health problems, does the opposite. This event individuals responsible for this Rochester has a real home- tentioned event, and chooses from hunger and nutritional de- instead relies on the spectacle event seem to have not thought less population and a large to explore other avenues to ficiencies to respiratory and in- of an inaccurate and harmful through the placement’s impact number of people who’ve dedi- achieve their goals of educa- fectious diseases, and are sub- stereotype of what it is to be on students, faculty, or staff cated their lives to helping that tion and awareness. Here’s ject to intense stigmatization homeless, all the while trivial- who may have experienced or population. If Delta Upsilon’s to hoping that take-two actu- from homed-society. Homeless izing that same issue. To sit on who are currently experiencing aim is to raise awareness and to ally respects those individuals shelters are overcrowded, and the steps of the student union homelessness. In choosing the make a difference in their com- they’re claiming to work for. often will ask residents to pay a of your private university in steps of Wilson Commons for munity, it should consider host- Wrobel is a member of daily fee to be allowed to stay. a box, claiming to be “go- the ostentatious display of priv- ing a panel of those who are or the Class of 2018. Want somebody to care about your opinions?

Write for the Campus Times [email protected]

UR OPINION “WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT BY VENNELA PANDARABOYINA & JUSTIN TROMBLY TAKING NEXT YEAR?” OPINIONS EDITOR & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

KAVYA NAGUMOTU, ‘18 MORGAN MACKAY, ‘18 KRISHNA KANERIA, ‘19 DOMEIRY GONZALEZ, EUGENE NICHOLS III, ‘20 JESSENA MAXWELL, ‘20 ‘20 “I’m excited about taking Intro “I’m excited about taking “Religion and the First “I’m excited to take BCS “I’m excited for ASL 102 “I’m excited about taking to Yoga, because I’ll finally be Advanced Photography.” Amendment!” classes that are on my track because I get to learn Anthropology for Theories able to perfect my Downward rather than Intro classes.” more about deaf culture.” and Debates.” Dog.” MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 campustimes.org / PAGE 7 FEATURES Rexpo Thrills Passionate Commmunity

JESSE BERNSTEIN / MANAGING EDITOR JESSE BERNSTEIN / MANAGING EDITOR Lizards for sale displayed in tanks at the Rochester Reptile Exposition. Sophomore Brett Rapenou looks at a terrerium vendor.

By JESSE BERNSTEIN proving, crowded around him are wearing camo, and I say furniture. After that, there’s of this, but vendors take pre- MANAGING EDITOR and his daughter. She Vanna- that not as a David Brooks- feed to be bought, décor to cious time away from sales White’s other reptiles and ian social signifier but just to consider, and of course, free pitches to indulge every ques- The guy who runs the products at his behest. illustrate how difficult it was of charge, expertise. tion they field, from green- Know Your Rep Reptile The Rochester Reptile to tell whether someone had a It cannot be understated: horns like me to experts who Shows table definitely has Expo, better known as Rex- snake around their neck or it the vendors, as well as most ask questions they already a name, but I don’t catch it, po, is in its third year, and was just the pattern on their of the patrons, know this shit know the answer to, just so for our purposes, let’s call these are the types of stories jacket. cold. Which reptiles will mix to make conversation. One him Donny Osmond, because told this past Saturday at the The dietary needs of the well, which will bother each woman hands out a $30 frog he looks like a blond Donny family-heavy affair, billed various reptiles necessitates other, how big a container has to a little girl going through Osmond, if Donny Osmond as being “Herpetoculture for an ecosystem among the liv- to be for each stage of a rep- chemo over the protest of had a no-bullshit cop stache. Herpers by Herpers.” ing merchandise. For every tile’s life, the best time of the her father. (“Let me give you Donny Osmond has a story Hundreds of reptile en- few snake vendors (most of year to mail crested geckos something.”) about an anaconda he used thusiasts crowded the Main whom elect to display their in cold weather regions, and Vendor and customer alike to own. It’d eat two whole Street Armory, where rows wares in stacked plastic box- more. The two herpers run- traveled from hours away to chickens per meal, he said, and rows of vendors hawked es that are IKEA-level effi- ning a Wellsboro, Pa. outfit get to Rexpo; the furthest I and to kill them the snake an Ark’s worth of snakes, cient), there’s a rat and mouse called Canyon County Rep- hear is five, which is defi- would coil around one un- geckos, frogs, tortoises, and breeder not too far away. One tiles claim to be better fore- nitely traversable, but it’s lucky bird and smash it into more. (The Armory looks a mouse breeder describes the casters of the genetic muta- still a commitment to some- the ground until “it was in little church-ish in the day- process by which he likes to tions and number of babies thing more than just the in- pieces or it stopped moving.” light, beneath those massive thaw his frozen mice when he in a given season than an on- ventory they’ll move or buy Once, the anaconda windows.) The vendor logos feeds his snakes: snakes are line calculator of such things, during the day. I think it’s smacked a chicken into the range from crude Photoshop attracted to the higher body “without fail.” One educa- the idiosyncratic nature of ground with such force that to downright corporate, to the heat of rodents, so to appease tor weaves some serpentine the whole herpetoculture that an egg popped out. His part- point that you might forget them, he dips sandwich bag- fun facts into a story about a creates the warmth and fervor ner at the time, Tony, picked they deal in venomous frogs gies full of dead frozen mice nun, an old professor, and an of the vendors, the ticket sell- up the “perfectly good egg” from Madagascar; the Vivari- in to boiling water. If there’s eight-foot indigo snake. ers, and everyone who came and fried that sucker up. ums in the Mist logo looks still more heating to be done, Throughout the afternoon, to find the perfect ball python Donny Osmond tells this like it could be advertising a he uses a blow dryer. it’s a deep, abiding curiosity for their collection. I think whole story with a nine-foot Disney World-roller coaster. If you’ve purchased a rep- in all matters reptilian that Rexpo is, ultimately, the type Columbian red python coiled Patrons walk around with tile, there are terrariums and unites the crowd (duh), but of community of self-aware around his neck, which elic- snakes slung around their containers ranging from the beyond that, there’s a real weirdos that a lot of online its approving nods and com- necks, and no one seems to most Spartan wooden boxes sense of camaraderie in the fandoms aspire to be. ments (“Girthy!”) from those shy away from handling any to, like, crystal terrariums community. Yes, everyone’s Bernstein is a member who know what’s worth ap- of the reptiles. A lot of them complete with miniature deck trying to wring a buck out of the Class of 2018. Can Porn be Feminist? By JESSE BERNSTEIN a New York Times reporter specified, where the viewer highly regulated, professional work,” as she calls it, though MANAGING EDITOR about her new book. is asked to confront an image quality of major production she laments the lack of Asian That author is Asa Akira, head-on, so to speak. companies, and the world of actresses in the genre. The Barnes & Noble at one of the biggest stars in the The seats (100-plus) are “Hot Girls Wanted”—i.e., ev- It’s a bizarre session. She Union Square is, both in se- porn industry. (“Adult enter- filled, but at least 30 more ery porn horror story there is, stops herself from saying lection and size, one of the tainment” is for the squea- people are milling around be- whether it be rape, bare-min- the word shit, but goes into biggest bookstores in New mish—we’re not going to hind the seating area, begging imum STD testing, or pitiful graphic detail during a story York. The first floor is a con- deign to use that term.) Sit- the question—are they honest wages. Akira comments on about tearing her asshole. A stant frenzy, though the vinyl ting in front of a red velvet perusers of the bookshelves, that distinction, telling the selection of quotes: and video section in the back curtain, Akira is here to hawk or voyeuristic skulkers with audience that her experience “I signed up to be objecti- provides some solace from the her second memoir, “Dirty poor time management skills? has been the former, but that’s fied.” noise; the second floor hous- Thirty.”. Akira begins to speak, and to be expected. She’s a porn On writing: “It’s kind of es the children’s books and, Coming in groups seems oddly enough, the performer one-percenter, one of a lucky like tearing your asshole, in consequently, there are staff to be the move—it probably divulges to the crowd that few “contract girls” who only another way.” members walking around in makes it easier to hold the she’s nervous. does one shoot a month with a “I’ve had two abortions— Harry Potter hats here today; spectacle at a safely ironic The next hour is a pretty single high-end studio. She’s classy.” the third floor has a Starbucks, distance, to be able to shoot a good summation of how the been in the industry for years, As for the book itself, well, as if this city needed another look to your friend, “This is book reads. Akira tells dis- and as a 30-year-old of the it’s kind of like porn: exactly one; and on the fourth floor, a nuts, right?” It’s in direct con- jointed stories about love, time of this reporting, she’s the same as the one that pre former employee of this very trast to the actual experience sex, and the porn industry, one reached an age when most branch is in conversation with of porn, of course—personal, that’s still caught between the actresses start their “MILF SEE SEX PAGE 8 PAGE 8 / campustimes.org FEATURES / MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 Pornstar Memoirs and Moderm Feminism SEX FROM PAGE 7 the seventh-highest grossing ing of Missy Beethoven,” for financiers) and penchant for women simply enduring it. movie of 1973 (7th place, example) the new financial focusing on male pleasure As Naomi Wolf later wrote ceded it, with barely per- 2015: “Minions”), and one restrictions on porn—it was could be anything but another (echoing Chantal Akerman’s ceptible wrinkles and twists, reviewer compared the plot now nearly impossible to get manifestation of patriarchal “Jeanne Dielman”): “Orgasm begging the question of ne- to Sartre’s “No Exit.” 1973 a wide release—forced the dominance was laughable. is the body’s natural call to cessity. But she’s a funny was a year when the New industry to a halfway point, As Dworkin put it, only a feminist politics.” writer, and reading the work York Times published a not quite mainstream, but not male performer got to be “the By and large, this is the of a porn evangelist like her thoughtful Vincent Canby ru- quite underground, either. one who takes.” Truly, in any line of thinking that seems to is certainly interesting. mination on “porn chic.” Di- Ultimately, the point of mainstream (read: straight) have won out among modern One answer stood out more rectors and performers who film production is to make porn, the male performer’s feminists, certainly among than any, precisely for its might have otherwise gone money, and the porn indus- orgasm is always (sorry) in- those at universities like UR. vagueness. The interviewer mainstream were gravitating try was (and is) no different. your-face obvious, while the YouTube personalities like asked Akira about what a toward porn—Andy Warhol, But just as any director could female orgasm has to be per- Lacey Green go to lunch on feminist porn set looked like, for instance—and the sto- secure big-studio money formed. And we won’t even embracing a full spectrum of to which Akira could only rylines were more than the for decidedly un-capitalist get into mainstream exploita- sexuality, endorsing sexual say that it was one where window-dressing that they films, so too could porn find tion films of the era, where frankness and exhorting their “women were respected,” would later become. Serious a semi-coherent ethos with women were penetrated by followers to never shy away which, if President Trump artists could find a home in which to term their work men as often as they were by from the sexual expression has taught us anything, can porn. “art.” Beside the simplest joy knives. that makes them tick. See: mean different things to dif- With the landmark Mill- of “watchin’ people fuckin’ Even beyond interpreta- Slut Walks, Free the Nip- ferent people. The assump- er v. California decision in on film,” (Phillip Baker Hall, tions of the on-screen action, ple, or our own Spring Porn tions behind both the ques- 1973, though, porn took a big “Boogie Nights”), there’s a the most famous account of Weekend, and, of course, Asa tion and the answer—that hit. The legal of definition of loose philosophy of forsak- female experience during the Akira speaking to a packed porn can be feminist—is the obscenity went from “utterly ing the constraints of po- period, that of “Deep Throat” house at the Union Square most important question in without socially redeeming lite society, a philosophy of star Linda Lovelace, is one Barnes & Noble. As for porn, porn today. value” to lacking “serious desire and fulfillment; the of abuse, coercion, rape, there’s an entire part of the The so-called Golden Age literary, artistic, political, or work of battle-tested sexual and a general miasma of mi- increasingly niche-catering of Porn, which porn histo- scientific value,” which gave liberation fighters is a clear sogyny that’s harrowing to industry that makes so-called rians peg as between 1969- local judges a hell of a lot of backing to that era of porn. read. During the late ‘70s, feminist porn, which tends 1984, were the days when leeway in deciding what vio- More explosively, and what I Dworkin and Mackinnon did to mean soft lighting, shitty some pornographic movies lated community standards. would argue continues to be everything in their power acoustic guitar, and none of could get a wide release in With the new definition, the most relevant question in to end what they saw as the the parody themes so popular major theatre chains. “Deep putting obstacles in front of porn, is that of the feminist most harmful sex-ed some- with Brazzers and the other Throat” and “Behind the porn production and con- interpretations. one could be exposed to. titans of the industry. Green Door” generated na- sumption became far easier. That Golden Era is the rare That stance on the perfor- And yet, “Hot Girls Want- tionwide controversy. “The Though there were still a few issue that placed second- mance of female sexuality in ed” and similarly bleak de- Devil in Miss Jones” was classics to come (“The Open- wave feminists on rough- porn didn’t face much of an pictions of the industry still ly the same side as Jerry opposition within the move- represent all that is vile to Falwell. Andrea Dworkin ment until the early 80s. feminists. How does one and Catharine Mackinnon, Therein saw the birth of what reconcile the experiences of among many others, were the we call sex-positive femi- “unicorns” (as Akira calls PUT ON A SHOW first to offer strong feminist nism, an iteration that calls them) like Sasha Grey, who critiques of porn. Dworkin, for celebration of female sex- found mainstream success, not putting it lightly: “The uality that supporters say ex- with the more-often-told hor- AT FRINGE! civil impact of pornography cludes the vilification of all ror stories of nameless wom- on women is staggering. It male sexuality that they saw en with a grainy webcam? If ONLINE APPLICATION keeps us socially silent, it in second-wave feminism. women choose to be objecti- FREE! AT keeps us socially compliant, Women like Ellen Wil- fied, as Akira puts it, is that it keeps us afraid in neigh- lis, Gayle Rubin, and Betty a tacit admission of exploita- borhoods.” Gail Dines, also Dodson (among many, many tion, or is it an empowering ROCHESTERFRINGE.COM not putting it lightly: “Por- others) spearheaded a move- choice? nography is the perfect pro- ment that objected to porn These are the questions paganda piece for patriarchy. vilification on the basis of: that modern porn creators In nothing else is their hatred (a) what they saw as a push and consumers (by some es- of us quite as clear.” toward neo-Victorian censor- timates, 40 million Ameri- APPLY NOW For these second-wave ship, with more in common cans monthly) have to ask feminists, who had worked with anti-alcohol temper- themselves. The enormous THROUGH APRIL 30 so hard to move beyond ance groups than feminism, question of internet pornog- GET CREATIVE. the sexualization of the fe- and (b) what they saw as a raphy and what it means for male body in every facet of misunderstanding of porn American envy/voyeurism American culture, while si- audiences and what was be- (I’d argue that Facebook is JOIN US FOR FRINGE #6 THIS FALL multaneously working to tear ing portrayed on screen. Ru- a family-friendly porn op- down barriers to women’s bin and Dodson especially tion) is one that no one could SEPTEMBER 14-23 own sexual pleasure, the idea championed the portrayal of have seen coming, but now LET’S PUT ON A SHOW AT that pornography, with its diverse female sexualities as that it’s here, it needs to be #ROCFRINGE17 demonstrably straight male– combating ingrained stereo- answered. The University of Rochester is a proud partner of the Fringe. dominated production (from types about men as the main Bernstein is a member writers to boom operators to beneficiaries of sex, with of the class of 2018. We speak

Rochester 585-271-4105 for the Greece 585-621-1620 $ Henrietta 585-339-3010 10 OFF Victor 585-425-2337 Receive $10.00 OFF your guest check with DeWitt 315-449-2337 a minimum purchase of $35.00* trees... *Present to your server when ordering. Dine-in only, not valid with half-price promotions, other discounts or on split checks. Tax & gratuity not included. No cash value. Maximum $10.00 discount per table/party/visit. Recycle this Paper! Valid thru June 30, 2017 PAGE 9 / campustimes.org FEATURES / MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 CAMPUS UNDERDOGS PUZZLES A Sustained Love for Science Crossword: Hoaxes Pocus and had contemplated pursu- with both published research ing architecture or mathemat- on biofuels and a renewed fo- ics. Chemistry had always cus and passion to make sim- been a passion of hers, and ilar changes back at home. she had been a strong student, Now, back in Rochester, with encouragement from her Hanchett has become some- high school science teachers. thing of a sustainability “That my science teachers champion. were women mattered a lot. By ETHAN BIDNA “I realized that, if I can COLUMNIST They too encouraged me to convince a rural Kansan do more and showed me that who doesn’t have as much chemistry could be fun,” she interaction with science that said. sustainability is important, The pivotal moment for I’m sure I could the same for her came when she was ac- Rochester,” she said. cepted into an internship with Hanchett has made it her the Rochester Laser Lab, and mission to push the campus placed in a chemical engi- into adopting sustainable neering research position. practices. She has become a During her experience, where leader of this movement in By MELISSA HOLLOWAY she learned about ways to her own right. COLUMNIST ‘aide the fuel recovery pro- Of her advocacy work, cess’, Hanchett decided Hanchett shared that the MaryKate Hanchett is a she would focus her life on hardest part was being a BY DAVID SCHILDKRAUT ‘20 DIFFICULTY HARD self-declared “unconvention- chemical engineering. She woman. Across 7. Type of sex al person.” From her obses- would soon apply to (and be “I’ve encountered a lot of 1. Sol. to your problems 8. How one may describe certain sion with math and science to accepted into) UR’s GEAR degrading behavior. Because 4. Backpack part sounds “getting a kick out of doing program. I’m a woman talking about 9. Solution to your problems 9. Information booth things different, like being a At UR Hanchett wears sustainability, people think 12. Sun’s name 10. Slick fish female engineer,” she has al- many hats. She was a key you’re just being cutesy or 13. Site of a sports game 11. Pack animal ways worked to do things her member helping to launch the just following a social trend. 14. International org. with a 16. Latin American raccoon way. Native American Students’ They often will write you off, focus on power relative But Hanchett insists this Association, and served as an even when you can discuss in 15. A mischievous act in the 17. Casual greetings is only one part of her per- executive member of Alpha depth the chemical and eco- middle of a light breakfast? 20. How something may be seen sonality. Her mother, she Phi sorority. Most central to nomic rationale,” she said. 18. A persuasive cable? 21. Bro or sis or mom ______said, worked hard to instill her, however, was the work She added that this dis- 19. Asian Communist state 23. Type of blanket in her a drive to create posi- she has done, in both offi- crimination was not confined 20. “All good” 25. At the back of a ship tive change. Of her mother’s cial and unofficial capacities, to her work advocating for 22. Disapproves of 26. A straw or die, for example sayings, Hanchett vividly re- promoting initiatives related social change: “It also hap- 24. Worry 27. Slime members one: “You need to to sustainability. Unique to pens when I tell some people 25. Green pond creature 29. Disability services office at do something with your life Hanchett is the origins of her I am studying chemical engi- 28. I.e. your laptop UR where you go home every passion for sustainability. neering. I’ve had more than 30. Prank in which you are in a 31. Allegiant day and change someone’s Not only does she see it as one person ask me if I was in relationship for 24 hours? 32. With case, a method of life.” her moral responsibility, but it for the money or to find a 34. Romanian URL component ascent Today, she is doing her best she has leveraged her knowl- husband.” 35. The Iron Chancellor Bis- 33. Markets to live out her mother’s ad- edge of chemical engineering But Hanchett has perse- marck 38. Line in a song vice. degree to fulfill her mother’s vered. She is proud of the 36. Situational sensitivity 39. Emer. depts Hancchett’s hometown was advice. minds she has changed. 37. A ruse 40. Illegally break into a site not particularly diverse. After considerable work “It’s important, I’ve learned, 40. Eye color 42. To have chopped wood “We had a pretty great pub- finding an ‘“industry” sum- not to write off people who 41. “OK” 43. Graduate School of Arts and lic education system and rel- mer experience, Hanchett disagree with you,” she said. 43. ESA space mission Sciences, briefly atively safe neighborhoods. found herself shipping out to “Instead, see where they’re 44. Shaft companion that jok- 44. Cheese’s companion For this reason, I felt I had an Kansas State University to coming from. You don’t have ingly wouldn’t hurt a fly? 45. Inspired’s exclamation obligation to not be ignorant, participate in NSFREU, the to change their views, but you 49. Tuna 46. Observe and to not let these opportu- National Science Foundation gain more by seeing their per- 50. Adjust 47. The “Science Guy” Bill nities go to waste,” she said. Research Experience for Un- spective.” 51. Grain 48. When doubled, a math To this end, Hanchett was a dergraduates. In this position, The science for her is the 52. Cheese’s companion puzzle very serious, studious, quiet she was assigned research most exciting part. 53. Threes minus twos teenager. Most of her time responsibilities regarding “I want to use my skills 54. D.C. lawmaker was spent studying, practic- different forms of alterna- to solve our nation’s energy ing guitar and piano, taking tive energy. Hanchett would crisis,” she said. “I love the Down dance classes, and doing sci- spend her summer working competitive spirit of being the 1. Dangerous snake ence-based after-school pro- on biofuels, and studying first one to break through the 2. Neither’s partner in crime grams. Of particular note to their economic costs, and energy and climate problems 3. The person who lazes around her was the Rochester-based walking door to door, trying plaguing our world, and I’m all day NASA-Hutch program she to persuade Kansans of the going to be the one to do it.” 4. Southeast Asian dish founded at her high school, importance of climate change Bidna and Holloway are 5. The cereal “for kids” which allowed students to and alternative energy. both Take Five Scholars 6. Red button label design experiments that send “I learned two things that objects up into zero gravity. summer,” she said. “First, “I wasn’t all math and sci- how to talk to people who ence, though they were my are either very anti-science primary loves,” she said, or whose lives are deeply “That said, math and science intertwined with the current Write were my main focus.” energy economy. The second, In high school Hanchett that I was capable of chang- found what would be her life- ing the minds of people who long passion: chemical engi- didn’t at first care about cli- neering. She had long known mate change.” she wanted to in major engi- Following that summer, neering or a STEM subject, Hanchett would come home for The Campus Times... Featuring You! [email protected] the CT! MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 campustimes.org / PAGE 10 HUMOR What Type of Shower UR Announces Spicy Chipotle Double Major By JEFF HOWARD SENIOR STAFF Chicken,” “Poppin’ Jalepeno line of dark chocolate and al- are You? Part II with Jack Cheddar,” and “Siz- mond snack bars infused with By SIOBHÁN SEIGNE By ERIC FRANKLIN The University announced zlin’ Sweet and Sour Stir Fry.” hemp milk and taurine I knew HUMOR STAFF HUMOR EDITOR last Friday that it would be Danny Homestead, a Take I had to stay another year. unveiling a competitive new 5 scholar at UR, is spending With the Spicy Baja Leader- 1. What’s your major? liberal arts program in the fall his fifth year ship initiative, now I get to A. Economics/business E. Psychology of 2017. The interdisciplin- o n choose between the ‘Zesty B. BME F. Physics/engineering ary curriculum is designed for Cilantro Lime Enchilada’ and C. Marine biology G. Botany D. Education H. English students of the humanities the ‘Southwest Chicken and and social sciences to ap- the Rice Fajita Plate!’” 2. What kind of pet do you want to have? ply their skills into business Spicy An unveiling ceremony for A. Rat E. Dove and marketing domains. The Baja the Spicy Baja Leadership B. Guinea pig F. Mouse program is called the “Spicy program will be commenced C. Tropical fish G. Lizard Green Chipotle Baja Double by Seligman on the first day D. Puppy H. Snakes in a can Major Leadership Initiative.” of classes for the Fall 2017 University President Joel semester. The commence- 3. What’s your dream job? Seligman released a statement ment ceremony will feature A. High school coach E. Homemaker last week that he was numerous candles in a B. Middle manager F. Professor C. Bartender G. Who needs money, man? “proud of the circle as well D. Retiree H. Performer program for as a comple- its diverse and mentary 4. Who’s your favorite Greek god(dess)? flexible cur- food truck A. Nike E. Aphrodite riculum” that sponsored by B. Hades F. Athena offers a pleth- Frito Lay of- C. Poseidon G. Demeter ora of excit- fering “Curry D. Hera H. Dionysus ing majors for Chicken Ma- students who LUIS NOVA / ILLUSTRATIONS EDITOR sala Dipping 5. What is your favorite part of the human body? want to “experience new lev- Sticks with A. Testicles E. Uterus B. Goosebumps F. Brain els of heat and bold flavor” in Spicy Shira- C. Feet G. Lungs their academics. cha and Gin- D. Heart H. Funny bone “A skills-based initiative Leadership initia- ger Aoli Sauce.” that offers this much choice tive’s “Acai Berry Seligman said that the Spicy 6. Which of these songs is the best? to the student is simply un- Energy Scholars Baja Leadership program is A. Queen, “We Are the E. Kool & the Gang, “Celebra- precedented for a liberal arts with Green Tea Extract” free for students with a GPA Champions” tion” college,” Seligman said. work-study program. In an of 3.8 or higher, excluding B. Idina Menzel, “Let it F. Weird Al Yankovic, “White The president was eager to interview with the Campus payments for food, board, Go” & Nerdy” announce the selection of Times, Homestead said, “I leadership opportunities, and C. Jimmy Buffett, “Mar- G. The Beatles, “All You Need studies that the Spicy Baja was having such a good time other tuition-related expenses. garitaville” is Love” Leadership initiative offered, at UR as a senior, and when I Howard is a member of D. Stevie Wonder, “Isn’t H. That song from the bar including “Cool Buffalo saw they were offering a new the Class of 2017. She Lovely” scene in“Star Wars”

7. Choose a type of neckware. A. Sweat towel E. Necklace We aren’t B. Choker F. Bow tie C. Lei G. Daisy chain D. Hand-knitted scarf H. Ascot holding a Write for the Campus Times! 8. What is your favorite type of beans? gun to your A. Mexican jumping E. Rice beans F. Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor head but... B. Raw green beans Beans [email protected] C. Bean bag chair G. Soy beans D.Jelly beans H. Magic beans A Millenial’s April Fool’s 9. What’s the best type of dinosaur? A. Pterodactyl E. Brontosaurus By NATE KUHRT SENIOR STAFF political science, and public to sprang break. B. Woolly Mammoth F. Pachycephalosaurus speaking. At approximately 2 pm, C. Megalodon G. Stegosaurus This chronic indecision have Ericlin called his mother D. Archaeopteryx H. It’s a magical liopleurodon, Second semester senior led to many sleepless nights and father, and said, “Mom, Charlie Frank Ericlin’s Saturday start- for his parents. Most recently, Dad, I’ve decided to enter a ed off as most do—a slight they have been worried about Ph.D. program next fall in 10. How do you want to die? hangover due to a poor water- Ericlin’s impending decision microbiology.” A. SARS (Shower- E. Syphilis to-beer ratio the night before, about whether or not to pursue His parents rejoiced, feel- Acquired Respiratory F. Poisoning fried food from Douglass a gap year as a semi-profes- ing as if a weight had been Syndrome) G. Overdose breakfast (which, according sional Mashoonga-er (a game lifted from their backs. For B. Hypothermia H. Brain trauma from stepping to his physician, may be the played with two styrofoam the remainder of the day and C. Shark attack on a rake and having the shaft cause of his irritable bowel swords), which has seemed night, Mr. and Mrs. Ericlin D. Crushed by a python hit me in the face syndrome) and a challenging more and more likely as gradu- felt confident they had raised decision between working out ation quickly approaches. a self-sufficient young man 11. What’s your favorite pretentious vocabulary word? and studying, which ultimately Knowing his mother’s dis- who will be ready to take on A. Feckless E. Fatuous led to six episodes of “New dain for his uncertainty, and the world after graduation, a B. Cantankerous F. Ipso facto Girl” on Netflix. recognizing that it was April feeling which was quickly C. Lackadaisical G. Phantasmagorical Making any decision in life 1, Ericlin seized the oppor- replaced with renewed anxi- D. Persnickety H. Sesquipedalian has been a frequent challenge tunity, making his most defi- ety upon waking up to Eri- for Ericlin. For instance, in nite decision since determin- clin’s drunken voicemail, 12. Which woman would you put on the $20 bill? determining his major, Ericlin ing that John Denver’s “Take left at 12:01 am that night, A. Katie Ledecky E. Harriet Tubman completed clusters in chem- Me Home, Country Roads,” telling them,”You got got! B. Snooki F. Marie Curie istry, Russian, psychology, is actually a poor description April Fools!” C. Pamela Anderson G. Janis Joplin dance, biology, computer sci- for the highway he drove on Kuhrt is a member of D. Mrs. Doubtfire H. Betty White ence, Swedish, economics, through West Virginia en route the Class of 2017. PAGE 11 / campustimes.org HUMOR / MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 On Self-Important Social Media Shower Quiz Results By SCOTT ABRAMS everything would come easy Honestly, I don’t know that I SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR If you answered mostly As: Locker Room Shower to me, just like it always has! need to say anything else about Your life hasn’t gone the way you thought But surprisingly it didn’t. I had this. I think it kind of speaks it would (but not necessarily in a bad way). If there’s one thing I cannot to study for the first time in my for itself. Like, how many You never thought you would ever see so stand, it’s people who feel the life! That fall semester hit me ways do I need to say that many penises concurrently, especially not need to post every positive as- pretty hard, and I almost failed these people are just the worst? while you were also naked. But, you know? pect of their life on social me- all my classes (3.77 GPA). To I might have bought my- It’s not as bad as you thought it would be, dia. Like, I really don’t need top it off, I only ended up with self an Oxford crewneck that and you underestimated the camaraderie. to see you and your boyfriend a SA Senate seat after the elec- I wear literally always just to Your friends have started to notice that you posing for a beach picture on tion winner quit due to ‘lack broadcast the fact that I spent shower longer with other people than by yourself, but what can you Instagram (especially when of interest.’ (I lost the original a semester at what some might say? Time flies when you’re having fun. you don’t even pay attention to election after someone spread call “the most prestigious uni- the framing). And I really hate some definitely false rumors versity in the world,” but that’s If you answered mostly Bs: Cold Shower it when people post screen- about me and my sister.) not because I like to brag, it’s You’re pragmatic, frugal, and always add shots of their grades on Face- But, you know what, you just because I literally cannot a refreshing (if sometimes unwanted) dose book. live and you grow. (Well, I find any other blue sweatshirts, of reality to someone’s day. Whatever your It happens every semester, actually lost the freshman fif- you know? real name is, your friends often refer to you and it’s always the same. They teen, but that’s another story One of the things that al- as “Debbie.” In conversation, your contri- attach some kind of sob story #kale.) I picked myself up and ways annoys me is how a lot butions are always well-tolerated and only that’s way less sad than the decided to devote at least 45 of their A’s are from dance, sometimes ignored, and you’re always the person thinks it is, followed by minutes a day to schoolwork. theater, or cooking classes. life of the awkward silence. A cold shower is how they overcame whatever I began to put effort into social As an English major myself, the best way to start your day, because then the rest of the day will be “adversity” they faced. interactions, until I had all of far be it for me to tell another easy and pleasant by comparison. Here’s an example from a to- the friends. Sophomore year, person that his major is “easy” tally real guy I definitely went when I won the Senate seat and that his grades mean less. If you answered mostly Cs: Outdoor Shower to high school with in my ac- due to ‘lack of competition,’ I But they do. But, if you want There’s nowhere you’d rather be than lying tual life: knew that I had made a lasting to judge other people’s grades, on the beach. You’re laid back, content to go “My dearest acquaintances, I change in my life. maybe try to not get B’s in with the flow. You would bathe in the ocean have a confession to make. And now, look at me! Sitting some of your classes that actu- itself if it offered any sanitary benefits or you I know that from the outside, here, with my 3.94 GPA, ready ally have exams or essays or had the power to repeal public nudity laws, my life might seem perfect. for my final semester; staring some form of tangible assess- but until that day you have to bathe behind But, you see, it hasn’t always down upon the world armed ment? the four trusty wooden walls of a beachside been this way. with my boundless potential If you really want to show outdoor shower. You’re drawn to the idea of High school was a breeze. I and the strawberry daiquiris how much better you are than trying to clean yourself with a glorified garden hose while standing was the golden child. Perfect my sister and I ordered on our everyone else, just do it the on the same ground that got you dirty in the first place—by the time grades, perfect friends. Boy special ‘siblings-only’ retreat normal way and base your you get back inside it’s like you never even left the beach! Scout; great relationship with to the Cayman Islands, I have self-worth on the number of my sister; all-state athlete; no finally realized that I’ve made celebrities who favorite your If you answered mostly Ds: Showers of Affection history of incest; 2300 SAT it. tweets. You’re such a nice, wholesome person that score: I had the world in my Please join me in congratu- Just sharing my truth, the only showers in your life consist of com- (J-Crew) pocket. lating myself. Scott pliments, which you bestow on your loved When I first arrived at col- Just sharing my truth, Abrams is a member of ones with near-reckless abandon. No one is lege, I kind of assumed that Chad” the Class of 2018. ever unloved in your presence, but unfortu- nately all your doting can’t keep you physi- cally clean, so hopefully that damned nurse Senioritis Ravages River Campus shows up to give you your sponge bath soon. By ERIC FRANKLIN la, setting our research back “On a Wednesday I wake If you answered mostly Es: Bridal Shower HUMOR EDITOR months as we have to hire and up around 11:15, contemplate You’re practically glowing today (cleaner train new students.” going to my 11:40 class, then than any shower could get you), even if Trish “It was one of the worst It is believed that only se- go back to sleep until 12:30 tried to upstage you with that Vera Wang days of my college career,” niors are susceptible to the when I’m ready to start my dress and her god damned $500 Gucci hand- said Kylie Smithe, senior An- disease due to their aged and day,” she began. bag. But it’s OK, because, compared to Beth thropology major, about the weakened immune systems. The rest of the day consist- sitting next to you, you look radiant—at least fateful afternoon of March Peak incidence is usually ed of breakfast, a 20-minute until you get down and dirty in a few weeks 29. “I just really let myself from March to May each year, power nap, a 2:00 class, a four on the honeymoon ;) get behind on my work, and but symptoms will often start hour nap until dinner, an hour I had to resort to drastic mea- as early as January or even of homework, and a strict If you answered mostly Fs: Lab Safety Shower sures to get all my homework December. bedtime of 10:00 pm. You’re so hardcore, the only thing worth done on time.” Symptoms include loss “But last Wednesday, I don’t showering for is when you literally spill tox- I had to know—just what of motivation, lethargy, and know what went wrong,” she ic chemicals on yourself. Sure, the stench of did she have to do that was so drowsiness, and the only said. “My roommate got up at your body and room may repel both man and scarring? Plagiarize a paper known cure is a cocktail of some ungodly hour for track beast, you want to be judged not by the smell from online? Sneak a cheat several of drugs including lifting or something, and I of your laundry but the contents of your sheet into an exam? Bribe a graduation, starting a job, and couldn’t get back to sleep.” pocket protector. That is, at least until your professor with sexual favors the onset of student loan pay- She cited her previous day of friends start intentionally spilling chemicals for a better grade? ments. 20 hours of sleep as a likely on you to make you go shower. She could barely bring her- Smithe was one of the first factor. “So I started doing self to say it. seniors affected by this year’s some research for a paper I If you answered mostly Gs: Meteor Shower “I had”—her voice broke as wave of senioritis, noticing hadn’t started that was due Man, the only showers you need are the ones a tear rolled down her face. “I her first symptoms in late Jan- before spring break, and be- Mother Nature gives you, and the best one had to pull an all-dayer.” uary as the semester was just fore I knew it it was 1:30 and of all is the meteor shower. Laying out un- To understand the grav- beginning. In a stroke of luck, time to go to my class. I was der the stars with Mary Jane, contemplating ity of the situation, I talked she happened to lock down a so tired by that point that I the cosmic expanse of the universe, trying to to Dr. Ronáld J. Morrow II, job just a few days before she needed coffee for class, and find some snacks…wait, was I supposed to senior senior researcher at came down with her illness. that kept me from taking my be talking about showers? Man, showers are Strong Memorial Hospital. It Academics have been a strug- pre-dinner beauty sleep.” just how the man gets you to conform, man. was from him that I learned gle ever since. As she prepared dinner and about the epidemic ravaging “The only way I can de- watched the sun dip below the If you answered mostly Hs: Shower? I barely even know ‘er! the Class of 2017. scribe it is that it feels like horizon, she realized the grav- You have excellent taste in humor (if you “Despite our best efforts, when I had mono freshman ity of what she had just done. do say so yourself). You’re the life of every UR has again been struck this year, but only when I’m “I couldn’t believe I had just party, whether the party likes it or not. You year by a raging epidemic of thinking about or trying to do done something so unhealthy are the chief feminist among your friends, ‘senioritis,’” he explained. homework,” she said. “Even as staying up an entire day,” constantly considering the female perspec- “We’ve been working on a something as simple as writ- she said, milking the conse- tive on every comment and educating your vaccine for years, but unfor- ing 400 words by noon every quences of her actions. comrades about “what she said” at every op- tunately most of our under- Friday is an uphill battle.” She plans to sleep for 24 portunity. Your wit and creativity are unpar- graduate lab assistants come Asked to recount the terrible hours straight to try and make alleled, and none of your friends ever cringe or compare you to their down with the disease before day of the all-dayer, she took up for her grave error. dads when you regale them with your whip-smart witticisms. Keep it they can finish working out a few minutes to compose Franklin is a member of up, people will definitely still want to be friends with you. the final kinks in the formu- herself and told her story. the Class of 2017. ALL ILLUSTRATIONS BY LUIS NOVA / ILLUSTRATIONS EDITOR MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 campustimes.org / PAGE 12 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ‘Almost Maine’ Paints Poignant Vignettes

PHOTO COURTESY OF TODD KALMAR PHOTOGRAPHY DANIEL OSBORNE / CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER Senior Sarah Kingsley was one of the actors in “Almost Maine” portraying multiple characters throughout the play. By ISABEL DRUKKER nature,” junior and director Additionally, Watson had A&E EDITOR Meredith Watson said, dis- musical interludes produced cussing what struggles she independently by Eastman The curtain didn’t go up faced putting on the show. student Marc Laroussini. at the start of UR TOOP’s “But if you lean into that too “The play provides a re- “Almost Maine” Saturday much it can get very campy ally interesting way to ex- night—because there was no and I didn’t want it to pull too plore love and romance,” curtain. campy because that obvious- senior and TOOP actress Mu- Instead, its performance at ly turns a lot of people off. It rie Gillette. “The smaller vi- the Drama House provided an was embracing the simplicity gnette-style scenes is perfect intimate setting where the au- of the production [...] Enjoy- for TOOP, where everyone dience sat feet away from the ing the magical realism of it brings unique talents to the performers on mismatched without thinking too hard or group.” chairs and couches. trying to explain it too much.” ‘Almost “TOOP fills an important “Almost Maine” was writ- role—of providing a theater ten by John Cariani. It is the Maine”’was written outlet that is low-pressure, first play that Watson has di- by John Cariani. It but still commits itself to put- rected in her three years in is the first play that ting on an enjoyable show,” TOOP. junior and TOOP actor Ben The decision to play “Al- Watson has directed Frazer said. “This show in most, Maine” was inspired in her three years in particular was light-hearted Watson’s seeing a perfor- TOOP. and cute, and I think for ac- mance of it at Geva Theater. tors and audience alike it was “I thought it was absolutely a refreshing opportunity to beautiful,” Watson said. “It’s TOOP is completely dona- lose oneself in the humor and always been in the back of my tion based, offering its shows the absurdity of a show that mind as something I’d like to for free to any and all who doesn’t profess to be much be involved in. Little did I want to watch their shows. else.” know I’d be directing it.” “Especially when things The tag line, ‘It’s Watson’s direction focused cost money, we don’t have a love but not quite,’ on the love aspect of the play. lot of money or time to de- She followed Geva’s path in vote to enriching our lives reflects not only the having two stagehands have with art,” Watson said. “It title , but the intri- a romance that develops can be really tricky when cate nature of the throughout the play, but made we’re trying to allocate our it more concise and decreased funds to supporting our- play. the conflict to avoid any dis- selves. TOOP’s mission is to tractions from the other sto- make really good quality the-

The play focuses on snip- ries. Additionally, she chose ater that came about from the YIYUN HUANG / PHOTO EDITOR pets of the lives of residents to make the romance develop labor of students and make it of the small fictional town between two women stage- very accessible for students YELLOWJACKETS SPRING SHOW WOWS APRIL FOOLS of Almost, Maine. The tag hands. so they can get exposure to line,“It’s love, but not quite,” “I didn’t feel that there was some really classic plays, UR’s most recognizable band of blazer-donning crooners the Yellowjackets took reflects not only the title, but enough representation there plays they haven’t heard of to the stage this past Saturday for their annual spring show featuring a host of the intricate nature of the already so I kind of I wanted before.” new repertoire including songs by The Chainsmokers, Ed Sheeran, and Amy Wine- play. to throw that into the mix,” Drukker is a member of house. The YJs also said goodbye to seniors Jang Kim and Christopher Ostwald “This show is very cute by she said. the Class of 2017. who performed sendoffs by Maroon 5 and Ed Sheeran respectively. PAGE 13 / campustimes.org A&E / MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 Barrymore Bites Back Spring Porn Plays By ISABEL DRUKKER sive fake blood. instead of toast in the morning, A&E EDITOR The writing in this show doesn’t she prepares a meat smoothie always do its best—some quips made from her everyday bullies. Trump Card By JASON ALTABET seems to have been added to My first recommendation about are too try-hard, in particular This new self doesn’t come easy CONTRIBUTING WRITER watching “The Santa Clarita on Olyphant’s part. However, to Shelia. Near the middle of the the historic office and that a Diet” is to not do so while eating. the drive to keep watching is in season, she regrets the changes window in the rear appears to I also recommend making plenty wanting to answer why and how her persona has caused in her What topic has gotten more look out into a suburban street. of time and sitting in a comfort- this strange phenomenon occurs life. Talking it through with her attention over the past year This conversation was just able space, because once you to characters that, let’s face it, we daughter’s friend, another friend- than the election of Donald the tip of the spear for Hus- begin this project, which stars learn to love. Some- ly horror movie trope character J. Trump? From his primary tler’s groundbreaking dis- the bubbly Drew Barrymore thing about Barry- who has endless knowledge on run, to his continuing success, coveries. After thoroughly and the scintillating Timothy more’s ditzy yet the undead, Shelia says, “You’re to his eventual stunning elec- exploring the very intimate Olyphant, it’s hard to stop. wise portrayal saying that I need to change my tion night victory: the nation relationship between Donald, Shelia (Barrymore) is a of Shelia, and nature, but that’s impossible.” has been captured by Trump’s Ivanka, and Melania, the mov- suburban mom turned Joel’s ear- While searching for a cure, She- rise. And with any big story, ie thrusts the audience into undead who has to kill nestness lia wonders aloud if her new sex there comes the inevitable another vital element of the people and freeze them to keep drive, confidence, and ability to made for TV adaptation of the Trump campaign, its choice for her food. (Talk things parallel park in one go are really event. for the vice president. The about meal prep!) Her together, worth giving up for the return to Director, writer, and camera never-before-seen details of husband Joel (Oly- makes normalcy. operator Steve Matthew was Trump’s exhaustive vetting of phant) is literally just the com- It’s a mystery throughout the tapped for this semi-fiction- his potential number twos are trying to keep his cool edy season about what exactly She- alization of the Trump saga. revealed by the investigative in the midst of his lia has become. One character This was a huge moment for talent at Hustler Productions. midlife crisis, in ad- resents, but uses, the word “zom- Matthew’s career. After 25 The process appeared to start bie.” Her lack of heart- dition to this new film credits as head of light- with a standard background beat labels her as inconvenience. ing, and one film credit as gaf- check, done off-screen. After The premise a member fer, Matthew finally got a yuge passing that, the candidates is unique— of the break as the person in charge go through Trump’s personal but the con- undead. of Hustler’s in-depth look at check: a challenge to prove a ASHLEY BARDHAN / CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR the rise of Donald Trump. It’s candidate’s youthful vitality, ventions the show aims to break witty rather than no wonder Mr. Matthew fi- demonstrated in the bedroom require bringing in a sense of slapstick. However, nally got his shot. Who could at the Mar-A-Lago suite. Two familiarity. Truly the characters in this Shelia’s new characteristics and forget his lighting work in the Trump staffers tested the tal- Within each episode’s plot, we show are what keeps the whole Joel’s emasculation at her ag- 2003 hit, “Hot Showers 8,” ents of Senators Marco Ru- are brought back to a place where wild premise together. gressive and bloody ways tell us or the 2013 XBIZ-nominated bio and Ted Cruz in separate we feel at home. The show opens Shelia’s transformation especially point blank what Shelia has be- film “Mother Superior”? performances viewed by the with trite shots of suburbia: sprin- takes the show on a whole other come. “The Santa Clarita Diet” Of course, Mr. Matthew then-Republican nominee, in klers, cars, garbage trucks. Within level. She is introduced as uptight is the depiction of the modern couldn’t get just any actor to a contest to see who would be the first five minutes, an overhead and bland, repressive from the day phenomenon of what hap- The movie’s explo- Trump’s running mate. Per- view of the neighborhood calls way she has sex, talks to her boss, pens when women adapt the haps as a nod to the investiga- back to the infamous “Little and makes toast in the morning. self-interested behavior of men. ration of Trump’s tive reporters at Hustler who Boxes” opening of the suburban At the beginning of the first epi- Only season two can tell us what wild ride to the discovered this incredible se- train wreck dramedy “Weeds.” sode, she understandably laments happens to Shelia, and if having a cret, Matthew makes an ap- Plot lines include all the classics: that she isn’t bolder. character like her is really worth White House was pearance in the scene as a re- married love life, nosy neighbors, After becoming a member of the keeping around. One thing is for stuffed full with porter who has stumbled upon the need for family dinner, a teen- undead, though, she can only certain, though—It’s sure to be many revelations. the stunning senatorial scene. ager acting out. It’s everything we act to please her id. Suddenly, pretty graphic. At this point in the screen- know and love accompanied by she wants Joel all the time, she Drukker is a member of ing I attended, much of the outrageously fake yet still repul- swears back at her mean boss, and the Class of 2017. play the POTUS. Hustler’s audience had already come premier penetration into and gone. There were perhaps Trump’s political, and per- four, or five, remaining for sonal, life, was going to re- the film’s stunning climax: a quire a real star. Some may scene between former vice- have expected Alec Baldwin presidential nominee Sarah to play the part of the reality Palin and former potential TV star turned political titan. vice-presidential nominee The New York Times thought Carly Fiorina. Admittedly, Russell Crowe might step in Brittney Amber, of “My Wife and play Trump in any tele- Caught Me Assfucking Her vised reproduction of the 2016 Mother 10,” has only a pass- campaign. However, Matthew ing resemblance to the former has not gone wrong with the HP CEO. However, her acting choice to cast experienced star portrayal of Fiorina was very Evan Stone. With 60 lifetime accurate, with several refer- nominations and 21 wins, for ences to the famous and infa- movies like “Pulp Friction” mous moments Fiorina had on and “Pussy a Go Go!,” Mr. the campaign trail, and an ex- Stone plays a vigorously real- tended conversation with Gov. istic Donald Trump. Palin regarding conservative With an all-star lead, this social policy. And while this novice writer, director, and reviewer is loath to comment camera-operator brought the on outfit choices, I will men- Trump story to TV. tion that the choice to have The first scene has us in the Amber wear only a miniskirt Oval Office following Trump’s and 2 pieces of tape seemed at victory. Melania, Ivanka, and odds with Carly Fiorina’s real Donald talk around the seat- life fashion style. ing area of the room. Over- Overall, the movie’s explo- all, the set direction is fairly ration of Trump’s wild ride to good. The viewer really feels the White House was stuffed like they’re looking at the new full with many revelations. president in his office. There While the Trump White House are even magazines detailing refused to comment for this ar- the Trump rise in the back- ticle, one can imagine staffers ground of the shots, although at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue some seemed to be facsimiles. have spent some late nights (One, for example, had a na- exploring the nooks and cran- ked Melania on the front next nies of Hustler’s investigative to her husband.) Only some- piece for any and all salacious one looking really closely at details. the background of the scene Altabet is a member of might notice that a fireplace the Class of 2017. MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 / A&E campustimes.org / PAGE 14 ‘MEDIA MATRIX’ CT RECOMMENDS Seasons of Jeff ‘SHRINK’ took me approximately 30 seconds to process why Prag- BY DEAN SMIROS er University’s videos depic- CONTRIBUTING WRITER tion of women is wrong. In the Spring of 2017 it took me approximately 20 seconds to roll my eyes at the use of the phrase “Oppres- By JEFF HOWARD sion Olympics” in a Prager COLUMNIST University video. A show filled with Chicago-based improvisors from the iO and Second In the Spring of 2017 it City, “Shrink” is an eight-episode series on the NBC/Amazon comedy took me approximately five streaming network, Seeso, and it’s the best show I’ve watched since “At- In the fall of 2015 I dis- seconds to feel disgusted lanta.” cussed race at a party with a when a gay guy on a Prager You probably recognize more than a few of the actors in it too. Yes, that is girl. University video defended the guy from the Sonic commercials, and that is Lutz from “30 Rock,” and In the fall of 2015 I de- businesses that discriminate the bozo older guy from “Mad Men” who was, I think, friends with Peggy. clared myself God. against gay people, specifi- The show is centered around Dr. David Tracy (Tim Baltz, writer/co- In winter 2016 I would cally when the situation con- creator), a recent medical school graduate can’t get into a residency pro- listen to the “Life of Pablo” cerns cake. gram. That would be a problem for any med school grad, but it’s potentially while smoking Newport cig- In the Spring of 2017 I spat life-destroying for Tracy and his family, since his mom cosigned his now arettes. on my computer while watch- $586,000 student loan debt. “Shrink” shows him attempting to become a In the winter of 2016 I said ing Prager University videos. therapist, both to maintain his medical license and to defer those loans. something about feminists in In the Spring of 2016 I got To do this, he has to complete 1,920 hours of supervised free sessions, ITS. a Grindr account. which he conducts in his parent’s garage and advertises on Craigslist. Semi- In the Spring of 2016 I said In the Spring of 2016 I improvised hilarity ensues. something about Muslims in came out as gay. A lot of the humor comes from his highly unprofessional behavior but The Pit. In the fall of 2015 was a clear desire to help. One of his patients can’t have sexual thoughts after see- In the Spring of 2016 I staunch individualist. ing his dead uncle’s wooden dildo and Tracy’s response is to take him to a watched videos on YouTube In the fall of 2015 I rejected sex shop. He also makes out with one of his patients at the end of their first made me understand how it any ideology that puts other session. might feel to start watching people before myself. This is not to say that “Shrink” is a sitcom, or even specifically a melan- Fox News and like it. In the Spring of 2015 I comedy (melancholic comedy, i.e. “Louie,” “Casual”); it is inspired by In Spring of 2016 I went to finally figured out how to both, but isn’t really either. The show has a definite structure in terms of bed one night saying, “I hope smile in the right way. how it makes you laugh in the actual sessions, but outside of the garage he wins,” while a death oc- In the Fall of 2014 I felt (and for one episode his mid-2000’s Camry), “Shrink” fully embraces its curred in my lower abdomen elated at the Sigma Nu frater- melan-comedic side. that produced the sound of nity. This primarily manifests itself in how Tracy is forced to deal with his roughly 500,000 people in an In the Spring of 2014 I insane student loans, but also struggles with his step-brother and a possible arena sponsored by Amway punched my bedsheets on a Friday night because other relationship emerging with the patient he kissed. to which I thought, “I might be having an out of body ex- people were partying and To make money while he’s doing the free therapy, David ends up work- perience.” John Mayer’s “Paradise Val- ing the night shift at a “Happy Foods” (a supermarket that makes me ap- In the summer of 2016 I ley” album was failing to preciate Wegmans so much more than I already did) with his best friend and took a class on multicultural calm my nerves. former, one time patient, Doug. (David is still Doug’s sister’s therapist, she psychology at UConn’s Hart- In the Fall of 2013 I smoked looked it up online and it said, “Grey-area.”) ford Campus. weed for the first time. This seems like a lot of environments and characters for one show, espe- In the Fall of 2016 I voted In the Fall of 2013 no- cially one that’s only eight half-hour episodes, but it works. It works well. for Hillary Clinton. body knew I was gay. It’s funny, different, and has very likeable characters that feel full even if In the Spring of 2017 I they don’t get a whole lot of screen time. high-fived my best friend In the Spring of 2016 I was I’ve watched “Shrink” twice and would suggest it to people that like while talking about offend- a Donald Trump supporter. “Louie,” “Parks and Recreation,” and Netflix’s “Love.” ing people. In the Spring of 2016 I was Smiros is a member of In the Spring of 2017 I unhappy. the Class of 2017. watched a video on a You- Tube channel called “Prager In the Spring of 2017 I University.” think Prager University is In the Spring of 2017 I pure garbage. despised the overarching at- In the Spring of 2017 I am titude of self-hate in Prager happy. University videos. Howard is a member of In the Spring of 2017 it the Class of 2017. WRUR IN THE TUNNELS

YIYUN HUANG / PHOTO EDITOR Freshman John Pinto performs beneath Rush Rhees as Lake St. Helens as part of WRUR’s annual Music in the Tunnels. MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 / SPORTS campustimes.org / PAGE 15 Busy Week for Baseball and Softball Track & Field Sets Records

BASEBALL FROM PAGE 16 By TREVOR WHITESTONE Schutrum, and sophomore SPORTS EDITOR Siobhan Seigne ran a 50.87 doubleheader. Freshman left in the 4x100. Seigne was also fielder Jake Hertz went three At the William & Mary Co- a member of the 4x800 relay for five and came around to lonial Relays in Williamsburg, alongside freshmen Julia Myers score each time he reached Virginia on Friday and Saturday, and Jordan Hurlbut and sopho- base. Meanwhile third baseman UR Track & Field had a strong more Rachel Bargabos, which Jack Herman and catcher David showing from both the men’s posted a time of 10:08.86. Rieth went a combined six for and women’s teams, though Multiple men’s team mem- nine with a resounding 11 RBI. Friday’s action was delayed at bers also set personal bests. This could certainly bolster play- times by rain, and some events On Friday, in the 100-meter ing time for the sophomore and were moved back a day. dash, sophomore C.J. Ruff freshman, respectively. Once The women’s team set numer- posted a personal best of 11.43 more, relief pitcher McConway ous personal bests and broke a seconds. Junior Wesley Clayton shined, giving one ER in four school record. ran a 1:56.40 in the 800, and and a third innings, pitching in PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS Senior Samantha Kitchen set senior R.J. Morrow posted a both games of the doubleheader Sophomore staring pitcher Jack Denzer pitched seven innings of one run ball that record in 5K on Friday with 17.87 in the 110-meter high against Clarkson. against Clarkson. 17:01.03, the third-best time in hurdles. UR Baseball split another Division III for the event this Senior Brant Crouse man- doubleheader on Sunday against year. Grad student Catherine aged a 16th place finish with Clarkson. In the first game, Roch- Knox finished just behind at a 49.56 in the 400-meter, with ester won 5–1, behind the strong 17:09.12, setting a personal 14 of the runners ahead of him play of sophomore first baseman best and earning the sixth-best hailing from Division I schools. Aiden Finch, who went two for time in Division III on the year. In distance, Senior Dan Nolte three with two RBI. Starting Senior Anne Peterson earned ran a personal best 15:12.76 pitcher sophomore Jack Denzer the year’s third-best time on in the 5K, and junior Adam was dazzling, pitching seven in- the 3,000-meter steeplechase Sorrentino finished 10th in the nings with one ER and seven hits, with a 10:59.24, a personal hammer throw with a distance bringing his season record to 1–2 best and also the second-fastest of 40.66 meters. with a 4.34 ERA. He certainly time in UR history. Sophomore On Saturday, in the triple gave the team the innings they Kylee Bartlett finished 10th in jump, freshman Mark Westman needed on a long day. the 100-meter hurdles with a cleared 13.17 meters, setting a On the women’s side, the 15-second mark. Senior Laura personal best and finishing 13th Yellowjackets (10–4) split a Lockard ran a 1:00.07 in the overall. He was also a member doubleheader against the Ithaca 400-meter, finishing second in of the 4x200 meter relay team, Bombers (7–5). The first game PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS Junior utility player Jocelynn Blackshear is batting .326 on the season. her heat, while sophomore Alice along with Ruff, freshman Fred- was a close affair, as UR was vic- Freese ran a 2:32.09 in the 800 erico Hama, and junior Sean torious by a score of 5–3. Sopho- and freshman Julia Myers ran Corcoran, which ran a time of more first baseman Rachel Pletz the women, as they lost 5–1. runs with her on the mound. This a 4:56.78 in the 1,500. 1:32.42. came up huge with a monster two- The offense could only muster performance brought Malecki’s On Saturday, after some In the 4x400 relay, Westman run homerun to bring her season three hits from the top three season ERA down to 1.69 and relays were moved back due teamed up with Crouse, junior average to .326. Freshman third spots in the lineup (catcher Har- her record to 3–3, as she took to weather, the team of Lock- Wes Clayton, and senior Nate baseman Lydia Petricca also went leigh Kaczegowicz, left fielder the loss. Weschsler finished off ard, Bartlett, senior Brittany Kuhrt for a time of 3:22.97. In two for three with a double and an Shelby Corning, and Petricca). the game, fanning three batters Schutrum, and freshman Brenna the 4x1,500-meter, freshman RBI. On the mound, senior Eleni The bottom two-thirds of the in an inning and a third. James ran a 1:46.16 in the 4x200 Ivan Frantz, sophomore Benja- Wechsler went the distance with lineup went a combined zero for On Tuesday, the baseball relay, finishing first among min Martell, senior Chris Cook, seven innings pitched, three ER, 16. On defense, the theme of the team is looking to succeed in Division III teams and 26th and senior Eric Franklin ran a and seven hits. The five strikeouts day was errors costing the team a doubleheader against Vassar overall. The 4x1,500 team of 16:52.52. bring the senior’s strikeout total runs on the board. Despite senior College, while UR Softball will Kitchen, Peterson, Knox, and The teams will be back in ac- to 36 on the season, and she is pitcher Sam Malecki turning in a play a doubleheader against St. junior Brianna Loughran ran tion on April 8 at the Nazareth enjoying a 1.20 ERA. phenomenal performance (5.2 IP, John Fisher. a 19:59.39, finishing third in College Roc City Classic. The second game of the double- 0 ER, 7 hits), the defense could Upadhya is a member of its heat. Whitestone is a member of header was less successful for not back her up, coughing up five the Class of 2017. Earlier, James, Lockard, the Class of 2019.

LAST WEEK’S SCORES THIS WEEK’S SCHEDULE WHAT TO WATCH FOR

MARCH 27 APRIL 3 SOFTBALL COMPETITION WEEK WOMEN’S LACROSSE VS. OSWEGO STATE—W(6—3) MEN’S GOLF @THE HERSHEY CUP DAY 2—8 A.M. The UR Softball team will be playing at home this week against St. John MARCH 29 APRIL 4 Fisher College and SUNY Cortland, BASEBALL VS. ST. JOHN FISHER COLLEGE—L(10—0) BASEBALL @VASSAR COLLEGE—12 P.M. and will travel north to play Clarkson BASEBALL @VASSAR COLLEGE—2:30 P.M. University and Skidmore College this APRIL 1 SOFTBALL VS. ST. JOHN FISHER COLLEGE—3 P.M. weekend. Wins against the visiting Cardinals this Tuesday will improve MEN’S TENNIS @OBERLIN COLLEGE—L(5—4) WOMEN’S TENNIS @ITHACA COLLEGE—4:30 P.M. the team’s record to 12–3 going into SOFTBALL VS. ST. JOHN FISHER COLLEGE—5 P.M. WOMEN’S TENNIS @OBERLIN COLLEGE—W(7—2) Wednesday’s game against the Red BASEBALL VS. CLARKSON UNIVERSITY—W(15—8) Dragons. BASEBALL VS. CLARKSON UNIVERSITY—L(5—3) APRIL 5 WOMEN’S LACROSSE @SKIDMORE COLLEGE—L(10—5) SOFTBALL VS. SUNY CORTLAND—3 P.M. MEN’S TENNIS VS. ONEONTA STATE—4 P.M. BASEBALL @ VASSAR AND UNION APRIL 2 SOFTBALL VS. SUNY CORTLAND—5 P.M. COLLEGES MEN’S GOLF @THE HERSHEY CUP DAY 1—9TH OF 15 After going 4—2 this weekend MEN’S TENNIS @JOHN CARROLL UNIVERSITY—L(6—3) APRIL 6 against Clarkson University, UR WOMEN’S TENNIS @JOHN CARROLL UNIVERSITY—W(5—4) WOMEN’S TENNIS VS. NAZARETH COLLEGE—4 P.M. Baseball will visit Vassar College WOMEN’S LACROSSE @RENSSELAER POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE—W(8—6) on Tuesday and Union College on BASEBALL VS. CLARKSON UNIVERSITY—W(5—1) APRIL 7 Saturday to continue their regular BASEBALL VS. CLARKSON UNIVERSITY—L(7—4) WOMEN’S LACROSSE VS. VASSAR COLLEGE—4 P.M. season. The Brewers will look to improve their 5—6 record against the SOFTBALL VS. ITHACA COLLEGE—W(5—3) APRIL 8 Yellowjackets. This weekend, UR’s MEN’S TRACK @NAZARETH COLLEGE ROC CITY CLASSIC—10 A.M. SOFTBALL VS. ITHACA COLLEGE—L(5—4) young team could hand the Dutch- WOMEN’S TRACK @NAZARETH COLLEGE ROC CITY CLASSIC—10 A.M. men their sixth loss of the season. WOMEN’S TENNIS VS. ST. LAWRENCE UNIVERSITY—11 A.M. BASEBALL @UNION COLLEGE—1 P.M.

LAST WEEK’S HIGHLIGHTS WOMEN’S LACROSSE OPENS CONFERENCE PLAY DIDN’T HIT Lacrosse (5–2) had a successful week, winning two of three games. The team closed out non-conference play with an 6–3 win over Oswego State (2–5) in Edwin Fauver Stadium on Monday. Sophomore goalie Conley Ernst saved eight of 11 shots on goal, and she and the defense held the Lakers score- THE GYM? less in the second half. The team traveled to take on Skidmore College (5–3), in the Liberty League opener for both teams on Saturday. After an even first half, the hosts outscored UR 6–1 in the second half to take home a 10–5 win. Senior Midfielder Jamie Wallisch scored three goals on the game, and Ernst recorded a career-high 15 saves. On Sunday, the Yellowjackets visited Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (3–5). After falling behind by a goal early in the second half, the ‘Jackets finished strong and earned an 8–6 victory, evening up their league record. Freshman Jamison Seabury scored three goals, and Wallisch assisted on two while scoring one of her own. WRITE FOR SPORTS INSTEAD. PAGE 16 / campustimes.org MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017 SPORTS ATHLETE OF THE WEEK Wallisch Looks to Past Challenges to Build on Career By LAUREN SHARPE lacrosse career and why did SPORTS EDITOR you do so?

Senior midfielder Jamie Wal- I have always looked up to lisch of UR Women’s Lacrosse teammates that I’ve played with has 18 goals and 6 assists in the throughout the years. It is so first six games of the season. She inspiring to watch people you leads the team in both goals and know and care about play well. assists and has started every It has always made me want to game for the Yellowjackets. be better and fight to be the best teammate possible. Taylor Cum- When did you decide you mings was an incredible player would play lacrosse in college? at the University of Maryland What is your earliest memory that graduated last year and, of the sport? to me, was the definition of an overall skilled player. She was I wanted to play lacrosse in all over the field, impacting ev- college starting in the begin- ery play and showing leadership ning of high school. I was on in simply playing her best. After a travel lacrosse team starting every time I watched her play, in sixth grade, and we would I went out and played wall ball play throughout the entire year because I wanted to be better. in front of college coaches. It wasn’t until I was around 15 What is the greatest chal- PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS when I truly believed I could lenge you have faced in your Junior midfielder Jamie Wallisch dekes a Nazareth defender in the midst of a five point performance. have the opportunity to play for lacrosse career? How did the the coaches that were watching experience shape the kind of what ways do you lead your Do you have any pre-game me from the sidelines. I also was player you are today? teammates? rituals? At UR, I’ll miss going to class completely in love with the sport everyday to learn what I thor- and couldn’t imagine my life The greatest challenge I’ve With my teammates, it is My pre-game rituals including oughly enjoy. More importantly, without it. My earliest memory experienced is losing two state such a give-and-take in terms lots of dancing and singing with I’ll miss the people and the con- of the sport was Christmas in championships in a row in high of leadership. They inspire me my teammates. I also always nections I’ve created here. sixth grade when my mom got school, as well as our season last to play the best I can and I try need to take some time by myself me a lacrosse stick. I showed year. It is so challenging for a my best to lead by example. If before we leave the locker room What is your dream vacation up at tryouts and all the coaches team to work so hard toward a we are down, it is about keep- to focus and collect my thoughts. spot and why? looked at me and chuckled. They certain point and want to achieve ing the energy high and stay It’s also important for me to have came up to me and said I had to something great, but have those positive. It’s important for me my entire uniform be the exact My dream vacation right now use one of their sticks because goals fall flat. It is disheartening to show I believe in my team- same every game or I feel it will is Vietnam. It seems so beautiful I was holding a men’s lacrosse and makes you dig deep so you mates and our abilities to play inhibit how I play. and unique. I have never been to stick. The rest is history. don’t become discouraged. our best, so no matter what, lead that part of the world so I would through encouragement and What will you miss most love to experience it for myself. Who is someone who you As a senior and main con- understanding. about being a student athlete Sharpe is a member of have looked up to during your tributor on your team, in at UR? the Class of 2019. Coach Martin’s Grit Fueled SC’s Final Four Run Long Week By JAKE SEHNERT season for issues regarding his up with 24 wins, hopeful for their shared his message of outwork- for URB and CONTRIBUTING WRITER verbal communication with the tournament chances—no Power ing opponents and never giving team. Frustration plagued the Five conference team had ever up, something the team has taken URSB The 2017 NCAA Men’s Bas- program. missed out on the tournament to heart. By RAHUL UPADHYA ketball Final Four features No. 1 The following year, the Game- after winning that many games. Of the Final Four teams, CONTRIBUTING WRITER North Carolina versus No. 3 Or- cocks put together an impressive But after receiving a false noti- none have played a tougher egon and No. 1 Gonzaga versus 9–3 non-conference showing, fication the team would be placed tournament schedule than South The University of Rochester No. 7 South Carolina. Only 0.01 highlighted by a win over No. 9 in the tournament, Martin’s Carolina. The team’s first victory (4–6) baseball team had a long, percent of brackets submitted on Iowa State. But the team contin- Gamecocks instead received an came against Marquette, fol- tiring week of play. They started ESPN featured all four of these ued to struggle in conference play NIT bid. A successful turnaround lowed by a major upset victory off getting shut out by St. John teams in their Final Four. Only and ended with an even record. season ended in disappointment. over Duke, a heavy tournament Fisher College 10–0 and then 0.6 percent of brackets had South The team’s best player, guard Though Thornwell was able favorite. The Gamecocks then split both doubleheaders on Carolina making it this far. Sindarius Thornwell, suffered to expand his play that season dismantled the Baylor Bears Saturday and Sunday. Over the past five years, Head through some significant injuries thanks to the addition of guard with a 70–50 statement win and In the loss to St. John Fisher, Coach Frank Martin has molded his sophomore year, Martin’s PJ Dozier, who relieved some followed that game up with a win the Yellowjackets were able to South Carolina’s basketball pro- third season. offensive pressure, both he and against Florida. muster up six hits but did not cap- gram in his image of pride and “If he was my child, where I Martin knew they had to continu- Going into the weekend, the italize on some key opportunities toughness. This Cinderella run kind of had to sign off, I would ally improve to make the 2016-17 Gamecocks were the hottest with runners on base. Senior has been a culmination of the not have allowed him to play,” season count. team in the tournament with a third baseman Pete Carrier was mentality he has fused into this Martin said. “I threatened to sus- The Gamecocks did just that. scoring differential of +13.5 and the standout player on offense, Gamecocks team, helping it beat pend him that year to force him The team went an impressive Thornwell scoring 25 points per going two for four. Freshman three top-20 teams on its run to not to play; he wouldn’t let me.” 22–9 during the regular season, game. Though the Gamecocks starting pitcher Garrett Renslow the Final Four. Thornwell’s grit motivated the featuring a 12–6 conference had never played a game in the also had a solid day, giving up Martin entered the program in rest of his team to work harder to record. They jumped as high as Final Four before, they became only one hit and one walk in 2012 after leaving his position at try to establish South Carolina as 16th in the rankings in week six, a team that believed in itself, two innings of work. However, Kansas State, where he stacked a dominant basketball program. keeping themselves relevant in united by its coach and boasting relief pitcher Tyler Pauly ended up a 117–54 record with tourna- His hard work would eventually the discussion of the top teams the most stout defense left in the up with the loss, surrendering ment appearances in four out of pay off. in the country. tournament. four runs (two earned) in two five years, including a run to the The 2015-16 season was a The Gamecocks pride them- Despite their narrow loss to thirds of an inning. In relief, Elite Eight. significant turnaround for South selves on their persistent defense, top-seeded Gonzaga on Satur- sophomore Tyler McConway Following this success, Martin Carolina basketball. The Game- turning opponents over 17 times day, the Gamecocks have made was superb, giving up only one and the Gamecocks struggled in cocks opened up the season win- a game. In Martin’s first season, their supporters and coach proud, hit in two innings. his first two years running the ning 16 straight games, earning the Gamecocks were ranked and have set themselves up for On Saturday, UR defeated program, going a combined 9–27 a ranking as high as 19th. Their 230th in defensive efficiency, increased success in the years the Clarkson Golden Knights in conference play. Martin was momentum eventually slowed but that number has improved all to come. 15–8 in the first game of a split suspended for the last regular during conference play, as they the way to second in the nation Sehnert is a member of doubleheader. Freshman left season game of the 2013-14 went 11–7, but the team ended for his fifth season. Martin has the Class of 2019. SEE BASEBALL PAGE 15