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Expectation Hangover “I Wish I’D Had This Step-By-Step Guide on How to Overcome Huge Obstacles When I Shattered Both My Wrist and My Dreams of Playing for the NFL

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Expectation Hangover “I Wish I’D Had This Step-By-Step Guide on How to Overcome Huge Obstacles When I Shattered Both My Wrist and My Dreams of Playing for the NFL Praise for Expectation Hangover “I wish I’d had this step-by-step guide on how to overcome huge obstacles when I shattered both my wrist and my dreams of playing for the NFL. Don’t let your Expectation Hangover control your life — apply what is in this book!” — Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur, host of The School of Greatness podcast “Christine Hassler is the kind of true spiritual guide we all need in our corner — soulful, wise, compassionate, and practical. Her proven methods and deep personal understanding are like the best medicine ever for your heart and soul.” — Christine Arylo, self-love catalyst and author of Madly in Love with ME: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend “Christine Hassler continues to be an invaluable voice for every generation. Her insights and observations have changed and enlightened the way I look at my life and the way I raise my children.” — Michael DeLuca, film producer and Columbia Pictures president of production “Disappointment can be a big, ugly monster hiding under our beds. This book is the go-to for getting us through Expectation Hangovers with grace and shining light to cast away those ugly creatures of disappointment!” — Kathryn Budig, author of The Women’s Health Big Book of Yoga “Christine Hassler is brilliant and insightful. Finally, here is the solution for dealing with something that plagues so many, myself included. If you’re hoping to thrive in a world that seems to hand out setbacks at every oppor- tunity, this is the book for you. With transformational truths and real-life stories, Expectation Hangover will change the way you approach any chal- lenge, giving you the courage and the wisdom to transform your life.” — Marcia Wieder, bestselling author of Making Your Dreams Come True and CEO/founder, Dream University EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 1 7/15/14 4:12 PM EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 2 7/15/14 4:12 PM EXPECTATION HANGOVER® EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 3 7/15/14 4:12 PM ALSO BY CHRISTINE HASSLER Something, Everything Something Manifesto EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 4 7/15/14 4:12 PM EXPECTATION HANGOVER® Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life CHRISTINE HASSLER Foreword by LISSA RANKIN, MD New World Library Novato, California EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 5 7/15/14 4:12 PM New World Library Pamaron Way Novato, California Copyright © by Christine Hassler All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, or other — without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. The material in this book is intended for educational purposes only. No expressed or implied guarantee of the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given nor liability taken. Names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of others. Expectation Hangover® is a Registered Trademark of Christine Hassler. Text design by Tona Pearce Myers Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Hassler, Christine. Expectation hangover : overcoming disappointment in work, love, and life / Christine Hassler ; foreword by Lissa Rankin, MD. pages cm Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN ---- (hardback) . Disappointment. Adjustment (Psychology) I. Title. BF.D.H .—dc First printing, October ISBN ---- Printed in Canada on % postconsumer-waste recycled paper New World Library is proud to be a Gold Certified Environmentally Responsi- ble Publisher. Publisher certification awarded by Green Press Initiative. www.greenpressinitiative.org EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 6 7/15/14 4:12 PM CONTENTS Foreword by Lissa Rankin, MD xi Introduction xv What to Expect xvii PART ONE: EXPECTATIONS Chapter One: My Expectation Hangovers Chapter Two: The Whats and Whys of Expectation Hangovers “Expectation Hangover” Defined Why Expectation Hangovers Happen Chapter Three: What Does Not Work Distraction Numbing the Pain EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 7 7/15/14 4:12 PM Being Strong Pep Talks The Next Best Thing Spiritual Bypass Chapter Four: Awareness and Acceptance The First Step out of Disappointment PART TWO: TREATMENT PLAN Chapter Five: A Holistic Prescription for Treating Your Expectation Hangover Role-Playing Rx Chapter Six: The Emotional Level How We Suppress Emotions Role-Playing Rx: The Surfer But I’m Not Angry! The Power of Vulnerability Make a Date with Your Feelings Conclusion Chapter Seven: The Mental Level Your Story Role-Playing Rx: The Horseback Rider Thought Time Travel Conclusion Chapter Eight: The Behavioral Level Role-Playing Rx: The Scientist Compensatory Strategies Your Superpowers Avoidance Traps Your Core Values Conclusion EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 8 7/15/14 4:12 PM Chapter Nine: The Spiritual Level The Goal Line versus the Soul Line Your Spiritual Curriculum Role-Playing Rx: The Seeker Living Inside Out Surrendering to a Higher Power Lesson Quest Your Life Purpose Conclusion PART THREE: PREVENTION Chapter Ten: Managing Your Expectations The Secret Sauce for Pursuing Goals Chapter Eleven: Quick Fixes That Work Quick Fix : Stop People-Pleasing Quick Fix : Go Your Own Way Quick Fix : Don’t Go to a Chinese Restaurant for Nachos Quick Fix : Wake Up from Comparison Comas Quick Fix : Be of Service Quick Fix : Be a Kid Quick Fix : Gorge on Gratitude Conclusion Acknowledgments Notes Index About the Author EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 9 7/15/14 4:12 PM EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 10 7/15/14 4:12 PM FOREWORD ’m sure my loving parents meant well when they raised me to believe the Iworld was my oyster. As the oldest child doted on by adoring parents, I grew up thinking the world would treat me as lovingly as my parents did, so imagine my surprise when I wound up in medical school, where I felt judged and criticized by my professors, who were regularly scolding me for my stupidity and incompetence. I also figured all men would treat me like the princess my father had led me to believe I was, so imagine my confusion and hurt when I wound up in a marriage with a man who didn’t dote on me like my parents did. By the time I was thirty-three years old, I was very successful in my career as a doctor, but I was twice divorced, professionally disillusioned, and taking seven medications for a host of health conditions my doctors led me to believe were incurable. Saddled with a serious case of entitlement, I felt like the Universe had let me down. By the time I was thirty-six, I wound up with one dark night of the soul after another that culminated in a massive xi EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 11 7/15/14 4:12 PM xii EXPECTATION HANGOVER Expectation Hangover when the compounding losses left me humbled, emo- tionally paralyzed, and on my knees. I thought I might find relief by quitting my job as a physician, selling my oceanfront house, and moving to the country, where I planned to launch my new career as a writer by penning my first masterpiece. But things didn’t go as I planned, and by forty-one, I found myself $, in debt, with no agent, no publisher, and a third failing marriage. My life had strayed so far from the fairy-tale life I had expected that I barely recognized it. Where had I gone wrong? My self-esteem took a major hit, and the shell of my ego started to crack. What I hadn’t anticipated was that underneath that shell, the real gold had been buried all along. I had to mine the gold from my Expectation Hangover one teensy nugget at a time before my life started to turn around. The process was slow, painful, and filled with self-judgment, disillusionment, frustration, roadblocks, and tests of my faith. Because my journey eventually yielded a great deal of per- sonal, spiritual, and professional satisfaction, I can’t regret a second of it, but I can say that I wish I had been blessed with Christine Hassler’s book back when all this was happening. It might have saved me years of unnecessary suffering! If this book has landed in your lap right now, and you’re wallowing in an Expectation Hangover of your own, consider this a sign from the Universe that you’re ready to press “fast-forward” on this phase of your journey. With this book, you will be guided through your Expectation Hangover with love, compassion, and sensitivity to how much you might be hurting right now. Nobody is going to expect you (or allow you) to skip your painful emotions with a “spiritual bypass.” But by the time you reach the end of this book, you will have been given all the tools you need to mine the gold from your dis- appointment, as long as you’re ready to face the honest truth about yourself and about what your soul may be here on this earth to learn. After gleaning the gems from your Expectation Hangover, you’ll not only heal from your disappointment but learn how to prevent future disap- pointment. You’ll be inspired to live your life in a whole new way, and you’ll become much more open to whatever smorgasbord of life experiences the Universe dishes up, rather than getting upset when you don’t immediately get what you ordered off life’s menu. EXPECTATION HANGOVER-TEXT.indd 12 7/15/14 4:12 PM Foreword xiii This book is your road map to navigate any disappointment you may be experiencing. I promise you that you are being called to participate in this adventure, and your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be more wondrous, magical, and filled with awe, mystery, purpose, and ful- fillment than anything you could have dreamed up yourself.
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