The Drink Tank The Third Annual Giant Sized Annual Special Guest Editor: Derek McCaw It was three years ago today, Grandma’s house, about the Chris Garcia come to zines to three feet away from the play... television. Even when OK, that was lame, but it was I learned how to 3 years ago when I first released an change the channels issue of The Drink Tank. Bill Burns with Grandma’s large posted it January 31st, 2005 and infrared remote, my everything has been something of great-grandmother a blur since then. So far, I’ve pub- still controlled the lished works from 5 different Hugo programming. So I was fed a lot of game shows winners (Including Dave Langford), until her nap, at which several different FAAn Award win- time Grandma would ners (Including Claire Brialey) and turn the TV to Channel have had articles from folks who 40 and Captain Mitch. were old hats at this stuff and from After Captain those who had never even read a Mitch read some of fanzine. I like that. I’ve been lucky the daily funnies, as enough to get some great stuff Grandma would say, and show some cartoons, he’d for this issue and I have a spe- prep us all for something cial Guest Co-Editor for the First a little different. We’d Time. Mr. Derek McCaw has ap- Grandma Fanboy go from Beetle Bailey to the Beta Capsule peared in the pages of The Drink by – a live-action superhero beyond anything Tank and is the editor-in-chief of Derek McCaw I’d ever seen in my three or four years of FanboyPlanet.com, where my col- My grandmother wouldn’t existence. umn Falls Count Anywhere has run understand the word “fanboy” now. At At Grandma’s house, I discovered every week since 2003. He’s brought 94, she has a hard time understanding Ultraman. the things I do in the 21st Century, let I didn’t know anything about some good stuff with him. alone the term for what I supposedly am. Japan, or that the actors were actually And there are some of the Nevertheless, it’s because of her. dubbed. It would be years before I actually folks you’ve seen before in The Fanboys aren’t born. They’re made understood a danged thing about the Drink Tank. Eric Mayer and James -- shaped by people that turn a blind eye show beyond the Science Police fought Bacon, for instance, and Mr. Brad in your youth, hoping that at least you’ll monsters, Hayata would hold up the Beta Foster who was kind enough to give grow up and become wealthy enough to Capsule, and Ultraman got his energy us another cover! be eccentric instead of weird. Nobody from the sun. could have predicted how allcosuming our (A couple of years later, you’d And now, an article from the culture of imagination would become, but hear a couple of us future fanboys man who has published more of my as any fanboy would tell you, it starts with running around the San Antonio school words than any other, his Holiness, love. kindergarten playground, making that Derek McCaw Actually, for me it starts at my “ba-woo, ba-woo” sound of his chest light blinking. Even at 5, I understood that once took me to see Willy Wonka and the vulnerability is what makes a character Chocolate Factory, except that I got too interesting. Or I just thought the light was scared in line just thinking about the danged cool.) tunnel scene (I’d already seen it), and The thing about Ultraman is that we went to TG&Y instead to buy comics. while I loved it, I was also scared out of my That’s a regret now, because it’s the only wits by it. Did I mention the monster part time I remember going to the movies with up above? So it started three feet away Grandma. from the television, but as each episode My grandfather would just shake went on and I knew, absolutely knew that his head. It’s not like he could criticize, we were getting closer to that time that the necessarily, as the old almond rancher monster would appear, I’d get farther and was addicted to All My Children – no less farther away from the set. fantastic a show. But I know it gave him It must have been an enormous 25” pause one night when I visited post- screen, so distance was somewhat of a college and we had to watch an episode of protection. Occasionally, the show would Batman: The Animated Series instead of 60 throw me a curveball, so I wouldn’t be far Minutes. enough back in time. In one episode, the I’ve never gone back and watched monster grew out of a mysterious large Ultraman as an adult. Part of me just frond in front of an office building. doesn’t want to know how bad it was, Ever notice landscaping in front though part of me wonders what was of offices in California cities?A lot of to the store. When I turned to Big Little legitimately the series’ storytelling and mysterious large fronds. Books, she picked one up whenever she what was my young mind trying to Even worse, it infected some guy, found one, not knowing if I had it or not, process it and filling in weird blanks. My and he turned away from the Science but making sure that I wouldn’t miss out. Grandmother has gone back to Westerns, Police all normal looking, then turned back My memories don’t prove it, but or at least that’s what she tells me. I with this huge freakin’ wall-eyed Gumby I suspect that I probably watched The haven’t seen her actually watch TV in well head. Wild Wild West with her for the first time, over a decade. Through all this, my Grandmother as well as Voyage to the Bottom of the Now she tells ghost stories and would stop whatever she was doing, and Sea – another one that had a disturbing warns me not to walk under a fig tree at sit on the couch, where she knew I would tendency toward plants turning people midnight, or the spirits will get me. She end up. This 50-something had worked a into monsters. It took me a long time to told me she couldn’t read the lettering on farm all her life, but secretly loved science trust spinach, Popeye’s recommendation Tony Loco #1, though she was excited that fiction and sat through my fears. At the notwithstanding. I was part of the world she’d help usher end of every episode of Ultraman, I knew Grandma will tell people now that me into. In her dotage, she has good days that even though his chest light blinked I read funny books out loud to her when and bad days, but still seems to believe in perilously long, he’d be back, I’d be I was 3. It’s a grand lie, but it wouldn’t a much larger, shinier and sometimes far comfortable on the couch being hugged by do any good to correct her. (The truth? darker world than the one normal people my grandmother and if I was really lucky I was 5 and she was the only one who live in – I’ll tell you some of her ghost and my parents weren’t there, I’d get a would listen.) But she did read all the stories sometime. cookie. “comic books” I’d draw when I was 7. She Thanks for sparking my imagination, See? She encouraged it. She did watch Star Trek with me. She even Grandma, and making me a fanboy. bought me comic books whenever we went Yes, I’ll have a cookie. such convention, the first he used as a learning tool it seems, as he described to me what he wanted to improve upon, obviously a man happy to reflect upon his achievements and develop. I got to the I again joined a queue, shorter this convention venue time as I had paid up online and then which is on the joined another queue for Jim Lee signings. southern coast of Mr. Lee currently working on All Star Dublin bay early Batamn and Robin, was in good form James (Bacon) and Jim (Lee) enough. The hotel has despite a reported exuberant night on Dublin City Comic Con, a fantastic view and across the main coast Friday. He is a very slight man in build, 17th and 18th November 2007 road and bird sanctuary there is the bay. very pleasant and I asked him about Tara Towers Hotel, Booterstown, The nearest train station is Booterstown, the times he has written stories. It was Dublin, Ireland. and this is about two thirds between the apparent that he sees writing as the by James Bacon city centre and Dun Laoghaire. It was a harder task and another day job in its own grey November day though as I joined right. This event had the guest list friends in the queue outside. Immediately He was producing some very that would have many a comic fanboy there was camaraderie among the hard satisfying sketches of fine quality for fans salivating at the gums. In attendance was core fans, who stood and waited, I as well as busily signing comics. It’s a selection of the cream of European and reckoned a good fifty or so. IT was great to hard to explain how wonderful it was to American comic writers and artists. catch up. encounter such a famous artist in such a Dublin has had a variety of comic The hotels conventions and multi media events function space is but this one felt like there was a real quite nice, two long step forward being taken, it was a well rooms, one for dealers run altruistic event and the guests and one for talks, complimented this. Dublin has seen a and a conservatory. sudden and rapid increase in comic book Signings were due to activity, in the last few years, and this was take place in both the clearly to be seen in The Tara Towers, and conservatory and the there was a nice feeling to this convention, dealer’s room. There at times intangible. was an ample bar, The event was run by John lounge space and a Hendrick, who also runs 3rd Place Comic nice restaurant. shop in Temple Bar, this is his second warm and familiar environment. This is professionally for a man who at San Diego Comic con will Marvel.’ And so he start a queue hours before he is due to was. arrive and in the hundreds. As one can imagine The dealer’s room was peppered there were a number with both regular shops, individuals of budding artists selling their own collections, and this along, leaving in is a good source of great bargains, one portfolio’s and C.B. chap selling his collection from the last Cebulski had a private couple of years at a euro a comic. A large call back session. presence was the small press comic I have no idea how community, publishers, artists and writers successful this was, selling their raw and sometimes quite but the opportunity excellent wares, from Ireland, and from alone is desirable I the US. imagine. A purchase could illicit a sketch He also had an and who is to know, where budding artists exclusive panel with will end up. news from the Marvel Dublin has been on an upward bullpen. I asked Danni, Mark Millar & Esther spiral when it comes to comics. Another him afterwards about one aspect that which seemed topical. comic shop owner turned publisher now interested me. Apparently will Mark Millar was very entertaining has comics listed through Diamond be writing a new war comic series, called and insightful; especially into the business Distribution and a number of Dublin War is Hell. This will be a series of arcs, and where he sees the business going artists are now pro’s. 3rd the first one is going to be called Phantom and what he reckons the genre of comic Comic artist John McCrea who Eagle, staring a World War One Marvel superheroes going to, and he discussed has been working on The 99, a comic hero, with artwork by . other comic genres such as cowboy and produced for the Middle East market for a It was obvious the details C.B. had were coming into popularity. He Muslin readership was in good form and hot off the printer and he was unsure if was also very patient and I saw him gladly set up a sketch table in the dealers room. the first arc would be four or five issues, sign a very tall stack of comics without On a high following the release of his but knew that the series will star a variety hesitation and he was also kindly doing JLA/Hitman cross over, and he was busy of characters in various war settings of the odd sketch upon request. drawing sketches for about eight hours, differing eras. I was very pleased with this On Saturday evening there was a both days, nonstop. news. pub quiz arranged in the restaurant of Marvel Editor C.B.Cebulski was Panels were well attended, I the hotel, a very comfortable venue, and I on hand and accepting submissions to reckoned about 300 people had turned reckoned there were about 24 teams, with his ChesterQuest initiative. In his own up over the weekend and the discussions well over 100 participants. This was in aid words; ‘ChesterQuest was conceived as a proved interesting. I heard from comic of charity and a quick rough guestimate talent search for pencilers and painters, artist Jock that he will be working on a calculation means this raised a grand ChesterQuest is meant to be fun for us stand alone Hellblazer comic celebrating euro. all. I’m out here looking for 12 artists 20 years of the comic, written by Jamie There was much craic and laughter who have the skills to illustrate comics Delano which will have an Iraq setting, during the evening and the drink flowed where magic, mythical spent as much time chewing the fat in creatures and men the dealers room as in the Bar. Personally flying with the aid of I thought the event was comparable to Dragonets exist, all a SF convention than any comic event I to great effect. have been too, it was just too well run and I was relaxed. impressed to hear The accessibility was the real key; Adi Granov’s wife one could speak and chat with the cream who was talking of comic creators, and ask questions about Thought without fear of annoyance to those around Bubble a recent you and that added with bad weather Leeds Sequential art outside, loads of Irish rain, it felt that no convention, that they cloud cover could occlude the brightness were both involved of the convention. with. Mr. Granov’s artwork is so detailed, The Quiz! fine and in demand, freely as competing team captains, Mark he is currently on http://www.dublincitycomiccon.com/ Milar and Paul Cornell seemed to take design for the Iron Man suit for Jon January closing date http://chesterque the game personally. Humorously, Favreau’s Iron Man film. Fantastically st.blogspot.com/ despite much pretend posturing and he recounted how he did not draw the http://www.letraset.com/craft/shopdisp mock bravado neither team won, but they concept piece for the trailer; rather a piece laycategories.asp?id=2847&cat=ProMa created an excitement in their own right. he had painted was used as the concept rkers Drinks continued after the quiz finished at as it captured what the movie makers http://www.thoughtbubblefestival.com/ midnight. wanted. He loves cars and plane and Carlos Pacheco who has just trains and one can see this in his fantastic finished a run on Superman with Kurt artwork which would impress any Busiek was using some wonderful professional mechanical draughtsman. markers, and presenting full colour Overall, there was a real relaxed sketches for fans. He was using colour and pleasant atmosphere for the whole letterset pro markers, these twin tipped weekend. Queues were well mannered markers allow a transparent effect and and also patient and pleasant as because they are alcohol-based can be spontaneous conversation broke out. layered to produce deeper colours and The volunteers who were helping had the with his controlled and skilled hand, right balance of friendliness with empathy images were incredible. for those queuing as opposed to anal He was pleased to mention that security minded management that I have the second series of Arrowsmith, was on encountered at some events which only the cards, a story he created with Kurt added to the good feeling. Mick, James and Cat Busiek, a beautiful First World War story, The simple schedule of panels were balanced with continual signings and I at issue one of Kiwanni, Daughter of were certainly saving comics. the Dawn? It might as well have been at Tim Corrigan’s place, out in the sparsely In those heady days you could earn populated hinterlands near the New York/ a living doing your own comics, if you Pennsylvania border. I went there often printed enough titles every month, even enough to gab about small press ventures. if you only made $50 or $100 on each, We had certainly discussed my comic book provided you could live in a plywood box . The first issue was dated February out in the woods and fetch water from 1988 so I would have left my car beside town. the dirt road next to the rural mail box for “C&T Graphics” and walked back along Having to drag myself in to a the frozen ditch at the side of cornfield to poisonous office every working day, I where the ground sloped down into woods. rather envied Tim but could never have endured what he did. Even waiting There, on a patch of land that could for the monthly orders to arrive, not neither be farmed nor developed, Tim had knowing whether I’d sold sufficient copies built a home for himself and his family of Diggers, Mighty Guy, and SPCE, to out of plywood and tar paper. A single put food on the table would have been solar panel in the roof supplied power. The impossible. amenities consisted of a chemical toilet. It was the perfect dwelling for man squeezing So I didn’t pay much attention a living out of self-published comics. to the business aspects of comic book publishing. I naturally gravitated to the During the eighties small press “faanish” fringes of the explosion. Mini- comics, as they were called, had exploded. comics. In fact Tim’s focal point newspaper, Small Press Comics Explosion (or SPCE) Starting in 1986 I wrote and drew regularly sold 6,000 or more copies. Shops dozens of mini-comics -- small books specializing in comics along with the formed by a printed sheet cut in half and In the Comics Woods with the distributors serving them proliferated, due folded to make 8 pages. Under the “Groggy Dinosaurs at least in part to a new distribution model Comics” imprint (a name for your press under which unsold copies were no longer was de rigueur) I cranked out nine issues By Eric Mayer returnable by retailers. of King Cotton, at least a couple of Bad Cat, Remarkable Rutabaga, American I can recall only vaguely the first I was attracted to offerings from Splinter, and Stick Dick as well as a time I set eyes on Kiwanni. The memory is a variety of small publishers scrambling mini-magazine called Frazzle along with muted like a hand-tinted postcard or a two around in the shadows of behemoths assorted other titles. color comic book cover. The cave girl wore Marvel and D.C. Who needed Spider orange and black. I neglected to fix the Man and Superman when there were My mini-comics, like most, were moment in my mind. How could I know alternative heroes waiting on the shelves of amateur undertakings, although typically I might want to examine it twenty years the specialty shops? Maybe Morty the Dog, they sold for a quarter to help defray costs. later? Neil the Horse, and the Flaming Carrot A few artists like Brad Foster, with his weren’t going to save the world, but they beautifully drawn and produced Goodies Where did I get my initial glimpse series nudged minis toward commercial viability but I wasn’t in Brad’s drawing In the end, the first issue of air-borne sacs covered with tentacles. league and never looked at comics as Kiwanni sold a couple thousand copies Cthullu’s dirigibles. And when I slid the anything I might dabble in professionally. which wasn’t bad. Once all the discounts stiff drawing paper from the big manila Until Tim asked me to write the script for a and retailers’ and distributor’s cuts were mailing envelope that was exactly what I book he had in mind. accounted for and the printer was paid, saw. Exactly. the artist had not drawn just the publisher, , penciller and writer any old glacier, or someone else’s Kiwanni, He had decided the title would be each ended up with about $75. Which or his personal notion of floating aliens, “Kiwanni, Daughter of the Dawn.” The wasn’t that good. he had sketched out the very scene I had story would feature a cave girl, sabre formed in my own imagination. toothed tigers, mastodons and dinosaurs Luckily I wasn’t in it for the money. because the artist he had lined up excelled To me it was simply a new creative A psychologist might have a at rendering scantily clad women and adventure, a journey into the uncharted mundane explanation. Perhaps my animals. (Not scantily clad animals, I territory of the comic book script. The mental picture had not been nearly as hasten to add. It wasn’t a furry comic.) format Tim used resembled a movie script. complete as I supposed and I mistook the I was supposed to write dialog and any artist’s details for my own. Nevertheless, Tim and I both realized that narrative. It was also up to the writer to I was struck as I have never been by the humans and dinosaurs had never co- describe what was to be shown in each mysterious power of words, these magical existed, my own childhood favorite Alley panel and the general layout of the panels symbols by which we can transmit our Oop, notwithstanding. But with an artist on the pages. who was so good at animals, it seemed a waste not to let him put a dinosaur or two I was literally able to heed the into action. My solution was to have aliens admonition “show, don’t tell.” And it invade from another dimension, opening is amazing how much can be shown up rifts in space time through which could by a gesture or a fleeting expression, wander whatever creatures the artist felt particularly if someone else -- someone like turning his pencils to. with artistic talent -- is doing the drawing.

We had high hopes, or at least as No doubt, I made a lot of decisions high as possible for a black and white about visuals which properly belonged book with a two color cover. The sales to the artist. I couldn’t help myself. My ceilings for comics were determined pretty prose has always been highly visual. I love much by the way they were printed. Full scenery. I loved to conjure up images in color comics had unlimited sales potential my mind. Suddenly I had at my disposal but a publisher like Tim couldn’t afford the someone with the ability to transfer those steep printing costs. The next best thing pictures to paper intact, without dropping was to put a full color cover on a black and breaking them as I invariably did. and white interior, but that was beyond the budget for C&T Graphics as well. I had no idea, though, how well the There was generally a limit to how many transfer would turn out. I was startled copies of a cheaply produced comic you when I saw the drawings made from my could sell, although and script. At the beginning of the comic Peter Laird had hit the jackpot with their Kiwanni is fighting a Tyrannosaurus on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. glacier when aliens appear -- monstrous own thoughts, the images in our own Better than the chances of Kiwanni considering the outrageously intricate minds, into the minds of others. We often matching the success of the Ninja Turtles scenes I wanted. assume we are doing so, but here was it turned out. proof. I had enjoyed my venture into The first issue did well enough but scripting and subsequently tried to sell I had probably been just as startled then...something happened. The small some new ones, based on my own ideas, to a few weeks earlier when Tim told me press explosion was about to become an other small press publishers. One proposal about the artist. He said that he was a implosion. There were too many comics was a superhero historical. Not long fellow from California, named Donnie being published and too many distributors after the fall of Rome, when the surviving Jupiter. and specialty shops. Bigger distributors Eastern Empire has become a bastion began to gobble up the smaller ones. Small of Christianity, a slave comes across a The name was familiar. But not press publishers couldn’t get their efforts magic ring, once the property of Julian the from the comic book scene. into the shops as easily as before. Precisely last pagan emperor. The ring allows its how C&T Graphics was hit I can’t say, but owner to summon the old, deposed Gods. A decade before, during the punk hit it was. The second issue limped out This gives the bearer super powers, of a rock era, while I was living in New York into the world as a stunted digest sized sort, depending on which God happens City, I had picked up a single by a band book (less expensive to print even then a to show up, and what kind of mood he called the Twinkeyz. Aliens in Our Midst regular black and white) and died. or she is in, and taking into account that turned out to be one of my favorites. More the Roman Gods were an unreliable and new wave than punk. Psychedelic garage The remaining three scripts for the unpredictable bunch to begin with, given music. A weirdly infectious mixture of planned five book series were never drawn, to bizarre behavior, and almost certainly electronic noise and semi-recited science except for a few pages, quite possibly to not very happy with or interested in a fictional lyrics. The lead singer and the great relief of Donnie Jupiter who world that has rejected them for a fellow songwriter had been called Donnie Jupiter. must have been making five cents an hour who died on a cross. So when Tim mentioned that name my reaction was: What? Not the Donnie Jupiter?

Well, actually, how many Donnie Jupiters could there be?

The transformation from punk/new wave to small press comics made sense. Both shared a do-it-yourself attitude and often made up for technical crudity with energy and idiosyncrasy rarely matched by commercial products.

Still, what were the chances I’d end up working on a comic book with a stranger whose obscure record I’d admired ten years before? The Last Halloween by Donnie Jupiter I thought the idea had possibilities One secret I have never revealed, knighted and a society was named after but publishers didn’t agree, not until now, is that John’s mother is a comic him. Go figure. surprisingly since I didn’t have a very good book cave girl. grasp on what I was doing. Thus ended But I was talking about the guitar. my career in comics. I drifted away from That was the first instrument I played. In small press entirely and into assorted fact, it was Christmas of 1963 when I was other interests, serial hobbyist that I am. nine years old that my folks gave me that all-important first guitar. Good gravy, I Then one day, in the early nineties, thought it was a thing of beauty. The first Mike Ashley contacted my wife Mary and time I tried holding it I could barely wrap wondered if we could produce a historical my arms around it correctly, let alone mystery for an anthology he was editing? press the strings down. It was a Kingston He needed the story quickly. nylon string guitar, and to me it was the bee’s knees. It had no truss rod in the “Historical” and “quickly” are words neck, so by the time I was a sophomore that tend not to go together, considering in college ten years later the neck had how much research is necessary before bowed so much you could shoot arrows off writing can even begin. I immediately the strings. That old Kingston served me thought of placing a mystery in the well for the thirteen years that I owned it. early Byzantine era because I already Chances are my folks bought it for a mere knew something about sixth century $20 at the local music store, but none of Constantinople. I had done enough that mattered to me. This was my guitar, research for the abortive comic book to dammittohell, and I loved it! prop up a 2,000 word story, which was the length desired. Eventually I would acquire other guitars – a Guild semi-coustic with a And so we hurriedly co-wrote the special Johnny Smith neck attached, a first tale featuring as detective, John, Guitar Ghods of my Youth Samick Stratocaster-styled electric, a Lord chamberlain to Emperor Justinian by Fender Avalon acoustic, a Delta banjo, and using the background I’d amassed for the another Stratocaster knock-off guitar (el comic. “A Byzantine Mystery” appeared in John Purcell cheapo, but it has great sound) – over the 1993 in The Mammoth Book of Historical years, but nothing ever beats out that first Whodunnits. These co-authored mysteries A funny thing is happening on guitar. It was a sad day when it came time turned out to be considerably more the way to my 54th birthday: I’ve been to permanently retire that Kingston since succesful than my comic book efforts. playing old-fashioned rock-and-roll and it was basically unplayable by the time I The first Byzantine mystery was followed blues much more often on the guitar. I turned 22. by six more short stories in anthologies still do the jazz thing occasionally, and and Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine and once in a while I practice classical pieces: There were many wonderful years six books from Poisoned Pen Press. In Mozart’s “Turkish Rondo” is a favorite, in between, though. By playing along with April, a little more than twenty years a little Bach here and there, and some the radio, LP’s and 45’s, I picked up all after Kiwanni, Daughter of the Dawn was music by this old fart from England named sorts of great songs and copied the playing published, our seventh Byzantine novel Purcell. Henry is his first name. He must styles of folks like George Harrison (who will be out. It’s called Seven for a Secret. have done something decent since he was was my favorite player of the mid-to-late 60s), Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton, and Pete loved them all. America was mesmerized with the Beatles Townsend. Another huge influence on my on the Ed Sullivan Show, I was trying to playing was Charlie Byrd, especially that Then I heard “Pretty Woman” by hear the music past the screaming girls. It delightful album he recorded with Stan Roy Orbison, and just had to learn it! was a lot easier when my brother and I got Getz, Jazz Samba. Loved that record. Great guitar hook, solid melody with a their first American LP,Meet the Beatles, However, before all of these great players beat, and I loved the transition in the it was much easier to listen to their music. there were three pre-Beatles guitar heroes bridge of the song. Easily one of the best The influences of Carl Perkins, Scotty that I had: in order of exposure they were songs of those years. The fact that Orbison Moore and other rockabilly guitarists were Ricky Nelson, Roy Orbison, and Scotty wore shades and looked absolutely apparent in George Harrison’s playing, Moore. Once the Beatles hit America, I awesome while playing and singing was so it was no surprise that I was drawn to basically ignored these guys (silly me) and another huge influence on me. Most of Harrison as an influence. Harrison replaced them as my favorite Orbison’s songs followed the same formula guitar player. (Stupid me; Moore could of Ricky’s songs in that both fellows A couple other guitar heroes of my play rings around Harrison in the dark.) performed songs that told stories with youth were The Ventures and Dickie Dale. And so lately as I recall those formative which listeners could identify. I loved these I wasn’t much drawn to surf guitar music, years, I have been returning to the music songs, and thought that there was nothing but I most certainly appreciated what they of Nelson, Orbison, and Elvis Presley better. were doing, and again, if you’re going to (for whom Scotty Moore played for many try to emulate someone, there is definitely years). Meanwhile, Elvis came back from nothing wrong with trying to copy those serving in the Army and started making guys, either. No wonder I find myself Okay. I know Ricky – later simply gawd-awful movies. Fortunately, he listening to the music of all these people Rick – Nelson was not much of an started recording again. The thing was I again. They produced classic, formative accomplished guitar player, but then never really cared for Elvis Presley’s music. work during the early years of rock and again, neither was Elvis. They were It never really grabbed me. The fact that roll that is still influential today. Good simply strummers. But the thing that I was a boy might have something to do music cannot be confined to just one era. I loved about Ricky Nelson was that he with it, but then I started paying attention Long live rock and roll! looked so cool up there on stage, singing to the guitar work behind the lyrics and and strumming, and the girls ate it up. melody. Yup. Scotty Moore got me hooked. Gee. I think there’s a song in those His back-up band had some crackerjack I used to try to imitate Moore’s licks to words… musicians: James Burton, Joe Maphis, no avail. My fingers were too short and The Jordanaires, and Johnny and my skills weren’t up to the task. Still, if Dorsey Burnette. The rockabilly lead-fills you’re going to try to learn from imitation, from Burton caught my ear, as did the one cannot do much worse than trying to work of the Burnette boys, but my focus recreate Scotty Moore’s guitar work. In my was on becoming the next Ricky Nelson. estimation, he was one of the reasons why So that’s what inspired me to start writing Elvis took off. Sure, Presley had charisma my own songs. Well, him and the Beatles, and good looks and the voice for the music but that goes without saying. I used to of that time, but Scotty Moore and the rest watch Ozzie and Harriet just to see Ricky of Presley’s backing musicians are what doing a song at the end of each episode. really made the music work. That’s when I heard “Traveling Man”, “Believe What You Say,” “Poor Little Fool,” Then that fateful Sunday night and other classics for the first time. Oh, I in February of 1964 came along. While Victory for the also featured a comic strip called ‘The Rome, for all that the city of Trigan is Trigans! Trigan Empire’. built on five hills rather than seven, and is founded by triplet brothers rather than by Mark My memory tells me that this twins. In truth, though, the civilisations Plummer! featured across the centre-page spread of Elektron are a real cultural mash-up: of each issue, two pages of otherworldy swords and armour, but also hover-tanks In a letter wondrousness written -- I later learned and jet-fighters. There’s a frame on page to Banana Wings -- by Mike Butterworth and drawn by 25 of the Hamlyn collection, in the story #32, E B Frohvet Don Lawrence. Like those superhero ‘Victory for the Trigans’, that pretty much wrote that the comics, I came to the tales of Emperor epitomises this ancient-and-modern superhero comic Trigo in a kind of ad-hoc fashion. Look cultural fusion. It portrays the last stand of his youth and Learn was a weekly publication yet of the elite guard of Tharv -- you may have pretty much for some reason the school’s collection noticed that Butterworth seems to have a put him off the was patchy and so I didn’t manage to tin ear for names -- who are under attack whole graphic novel concept. I can actually read every instalment, and those I did get from the nasty Lokans. These Tharvian relate to this, although for me it was to see weren’t always in the right order. soldiery look like ancient Greeks in crested mainly that the superhero comics I saw Also, I don’t know whether the various helmets and muscled breastplates, but as a kid tended to come to me piecemeal, sub-stories cycled around during the they are armed with what seem to be ray odd issues part way through story arcs seventeen-year history of the series, but guns. where it wasn’t entirely clear what Thor even if they did it wasn’t until many years or whoever was doing and why, and as if later when I found a second-hand copy that wasn’t enough you were left on some of the 1978 Hamlyn collection The Trigan kind of cliff-hanger without any sense of Empire that I got to read the ‘origins’ story, The alien aspects of Elekton life are completion. To this day, I don’t really like and thus to truly understand what it was simplistic and more than a little serial publications. all about. Barsoomian. The Trigans ride horse- like animals, but they’re called kreeds There was however one exception A flying saucer crashes in a Florida and are pale blue, and indeed there are to this. My school library took a comic swamp. Its humanoid crew are all dead, blue- and green-skinned humanoid races called Look and Learn. Comic isn’t really and earth scientists can learn little of their kicking around too. And the stories are the right word for it, though. Wikipedia origins from the various books and charts a product of the time so some of the favours ‘weekly educational children’s on board as they all defy translation. racial stereotyping seems blatant to say magazine’ and I suppose that is more Eventually everybody loses interest aside the least: those evil Lokans are rather accurate, and explains why it was deemed from one dogged linguist who devotes obviously oriental in aspect; the jungle- suitable fare for a school library. Look and his life to the problem of translating dwelling natives are straight out of a Learn was the sort of comic your parents the enigmatic books, a problem that he boy’s own tale; and, while none of the would want you to read, the Blue Peter -- if eventually cracks -- with the aid of a locals seem to have mastered this, it’s that’s not too anglocentric -- of children’s remarkably primitive-looking computer - surprisingly easy to tell who the bad guys periodicals. It was launched in 1962 and - after many decades of work. Thus we are are because to a man they always manage carried articles on a wide range of topics - able to read all about the Planet Elektron, to look evil. The plots are pretty simplistic - history, science, nature, geography -- but and the wandering tribes of Vorg who too, erratically paced and given to abrupt I’m afraid it was none of these things that eventually founded The Trigan Empire. endings, although I gather they’ve not drew me to my school library in the mid- been well-served in the 1978 and 1989 1970s. Rather it was that Look and Learn The influence here is clearly ancient collections which often omit frames and whole pages from stories. was high and the air sweet, I happened to notice something on the new release rack. But for all their faults I was It was the cover you see over on that side fascinated by those Trigan tales in my there <-- and I was amazed. I picked it up pre-teen years, although I then pretty and looked at it. It was amazing. I brought much forgot about them until Lawrence it over to my Dad, who promptly said that was announced as a guest of the 1989 I would have to buy it with my allowance. Eastercon. I didn’t initially connect I bought it and that started me down the the name to those old strips, probably dark path. because I’d neither known nor really cared who’d created the world of Elektron, Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew were the greatest thing I’d ever but something -- probably a PR for the convention -- explained who Lawrence read. I insisted on buying every issue, was and I was reminded of that personally went back and bought the issue of The seminal SF reading experience. Later I New Teen Titans where they had briefly acquired the 1978 and 1989 collections appeared, and became a fanatic. These and found that, for all those weaknesses were characters who were fun and funny. I mentioned earlier, that otherworldy There was Yankee Poodle, basically Won- wondrousness hasn’t really gone away. der Woman but with a talk show that was Looking through those books again number one. There was Fastback, a hyper- while writing this, I can’t help wondering speed turtle. There was Rubber Duck (who whether it was the early influence of Trigo was about to go a-huntin’ bear) who could and his cohorts that made me an sf fan… stretch. There was the amazing Alley-Cat Abra, the mystic, and Pig Iron, the big metal dude. Add to all of that Captian Car- rot, who would became an anthropmor- phic Superman once he ate his radioactive carrots. That’s the kind of team that I like. Now, when I first read the Cap, I My Start with Comics didn’t really get a lot of what was going on. by I knew that they were reliving the classic Christopher J. Garcia Justice League of America/Fantatic Four/ X-Men/Justice Society of America feuds, I was young. I can’t think of the such as the one with Starro which was the exact year, maybe 1982, but I was young, villain of the first issue. Frogzilla was one, not yet ten years old. I knew about com- and the cover for his issue was almost ex- ics, my Dad favoured War Comics like actly like the Fantastic Four vs. Mole Man. Haunted Tank and Sgt. Rock, but I wasn’t There was the issue where Pig Iron turned too interested. Dad would take me to the on the Captain. There was one where they comic shop once in a while and I’d look had to face Bowzar the Barbarian. They through the quarter bin, but very rarely were great stories, really fun old-fashioned buy anything. Then one day, when the sun comic books. But they were also the smartest reimagining that all the comics seem to go comics you’ll ever read. in for these days. Those issues got some I didn’t get 90% of the references great responses from fans and that led to back then, but rereading them in the DC giving the Cap another run. 1990s, I found them and they were hilari- The three issue Captain Carrot and ous. There were puns everywhere. Byrd His Amazing Zoo Crew in The Final Ark Reynolds. Owlizabeth Taylor. Gnu York, is one of the most entertaining, and ul- Gnu York. So many animal themed gags timately disappointing, comic miniseries that you couldn’t swing a comic artist by of recent years. It was so good to see the the foot without hitting two or three (and Captain Carrot kind of humour back in taking out three or for X-Men titles along the pages of DC comics. The story was with it!). The art was often full of comedic about Rahs Alpaca trying to flood the little gems, and that’s always a good thing. world, which is bad. The comedy was there There was a lot to love about this wonder- and the series started at the Sandy Goat ful comic, and for twenty issues it was the Comic-Con with all sorts of comic-related best thing that I ever bought. puns (my faves being Quail Simone and Sadly, that all ended. Neil Caiman). The comics were funny and The series was cancelled in late brought back a couple of the villains from 1983 (according to Wikipedia) because the original run of Captain Carrot. The it was being retooled and the Zoo Crew thing even sold pretty well, whcih isn’t a would appear in miniseries from there on surprise as DC readers tend to be older out. That’s an OK thing, different scenar- and Captain Carrot would have been ios and different characters, making full around right at the time a lot of them use of the multi-verse that the DC World started reading comics. The series ended encompassed at the time. The first of them poorly. Very poorly. Too poorly for words. was Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo While I’d still say it was worth reading, I Crew in The Oz/Wonderland War. wouldn’t say it made me happy. This wasn’t anywhere near as good So, that’s what pulled me in. Cap- as the original series. It had some of the tain Carrot led me to The Flash, Green comedy, but the art of Scott Shaw was over to the Crew in a storyline that was Lantern, The JLA, and finally to Swamp missed and it wasn’t that funny. Now, the supposedly from a comic in the Titans Thing and The Doom Patrol. It’s why I’ve story they told about Oz vs. Wonderland universe. The story was that of the mur- always been a DC guy instead of the Mar- was pretty good, but they didn’t need the der of Little Cheese. He was a version of vel dude that was so popular. I only hope Cap and Crew for this one. Apparently it Changling of the New Teen Titans, that that they bring the Captain back in the didn’t sell that well, which in the 1980s appeared in the later issues of the original form that I love him since there’s no way meant tht things were dark for the Crew. series. With DC reinventing their entire I can enjoy where they’ve put him now. They disappeared from that point onwards universe again, just like they did with When they bring back the Captain in his with only occassional peaks in the art of Crisis on Infinite Earths, they could bring true form, I’ll be there to buy his book. other comics, including some stuff in The back thee kooky characters. The new Teen Titans run of a couple of years ago. Captain Carrot was much darker, in refer- And no...reading Captain Carrot The Teen Titans gave a few pages ence to the Dark Knight Returns kinda of does NOT make me a Furry! 5 X 5 4. We 1) The Core From Frank Wu! 5. Them! 2) The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai TOP 5 GREATEST MOVIES WITH Across the Eighth Dimension EXCLAMATION POINTS IN THEIR TITLES TOP 5 MOVIES INVOLVING KILLER BUGS 3) To Live and Die in LA 1. The Naked Jungle 1. Airplane! 4) The Italian Job 2. It! The Terror from Beyond Space 2. Arachnophobia 5) Chinatown 3. SuperGals! 3. The Hellstrom Chronicle TOP 5 GREATEST MOVIES FEATURING THE 4. Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! 4. Starship Troopers “WILHELM SCREAM” 5. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 5. Them! 1) The Wild Bunch

TOP 5 GREATEST MOVIES FEATURING THE 2) A Star is Born CONCRETE-WALLED LOS ANGELES RIVER 1. Terminator 2 3) Spaceballs 2. Repo Man 4) Reservoir Dogs 3. Grease 5) Anchorman: The Legend of Ron 4. Blue Thunder Burgandy

5. Them! TOP 5 GREATEST FILMS WITH SINGLE- WORD PRONOUN TITLES TOP 5 GREATEST MOVIES FEATURING THE “WILHELM SCREAM” (THE SAME SOUND 1. It (1927) EFFECT USED OVER AND OVER WHEN I have trouble with Frank’s lists. So SOMEONE DIES HORRIBLY) many troubles. In fact, here are my own 2. We 1. Star Wars trilogy (episodes IV-VI) lists. 3. Us 2. The Two Towers/Return of the King TOP 5 GREATEST MOVIES WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS IN THEIR TITLES 4. It (1966) 3. Raiders of the Lost Ark 1) The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police 4. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Squad! 5. They

5. Them! 2) Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! TOP 5 MOVIES INVOLVING KILLER BUGS 3) Tarantula! 1) Eight-Legged Freaks TOP 5 GREATEST FILMS WITH SINGLE- 2) King Kong (2006) WORD PRONOUN TITLES 4) Cannibal! The Musical! 1. She 3) Beginning of the End 5) Zapped! 2. Him 4) The Deadly Mantis TOP 5 GREATEST MOVIES FEATURING THE 3. Us 5) Them! CONCRETE-WALLED LOS ANGELES RIVER of Mary Magdalene, knowing it will block likeable, as are accurate portraits (such him from his destiny: dying on the cross as da Vinci’s Mona Lisa). However, images as a sacrifice to wash away the sins of all very similar to human, but not quite mankind? Because of their split natures, human - such as zombies and corpses these heroes must choose between love for or diseased or badly drawn faces - are an individual, and love for all the world. disturbing and repellent.

The greatest of movie monsters - The Gill-man occupies a spot on again, part human and part not human the Uncanny Valley curve that maximizes - also struggle for Love. All Frankenstein’s both his inhumanity and his likeability. monster wants is a “friend.” All Dracula The inhumanity is clear from the hideous wants is a girl with whom to stride lips and mouth and eyes as cold and through the ages. The Wolfman must push expressionless as those of a dead fish. As away his love, lest he destroy her during a for its likeability, consider that the film transformation. A monster movie is really yielded two sequels and innumerable a love story. model kits, marking him the most popular of fifties movie monsters. In this essay, I’d like to focus on one being in particular: The Creature from the Black Lagoon, aka The Gill-man, part man, part fish. His story - told in the eponymous 1954 film - is, again, a love story. All the Creature wants is to take the girl to his little hideaway beneath the MAN NOT MAN waves. by Frank Wu The moviemakers understood that My pal Jim Terman has noted the Creature’s (partial) humanity set that the central dilemma for makers of him apart from other aquatic monsters, Superman movies is whether to emphasize the giant octopi and lobsters and crabs. the “Super” or the “Man.” Do we focus on Producer William Alland said, “It would his impossible strength, or his impossible still frighten you, but because how human love for Lois Lane? Similarly, in Jesus it was, not the other way around.” movies, do we focus on the divine or the The Creature occupies a felicitous human aspect of the God who took on spot in the Uncanny Valley curve. The Yet despite the ugliness in the human form? Uncanny Valley is a hypothesis developed features, there is a rhythmic exuberance This duality - part man, part not by roboticist Masahiro Mori, following to the shape of the scales and external man - is key to understanding both earlier work by Freud and Ernst Jentsch. gills. But most of all, it is his elegant Superman and Jesus. Can Superman take The hypothesis tracks the relationship movements underwater (while played by the hand of the mortal woman, knowing it between the likeability of an object and its Ricou Browning) which lend humanity will cost him his powers and his calling to resemblance to a human face. Cartoons to the beast. Particularly, there is a save the world? Can Jesus take the hand of faces (such as smiley faces) are very scene wherein the Gill-man performs a synchronized repugnant, as he occupies the deepest the skin, doctor, not the animal. But we swim with an level in the Uncanny Valley. can bring out the best or worst in any unwary Julia living thing. The environment does that. If Adams, thus The Creature in this movie is shot we threaten him, if he’s afraid of us, he’ll endowing at, wounded, hit twice with spears tipped revert to the wanton killer... We all stand the creature with “sleeping juice,” and set on fire. (It’s between the jungle and the stars, at the with a charm impressive that it took that much effort crossroads. I think we’d better discover and soph- to bring him down.) His gills and scaly what brings out the best in humankind istication outer skin are burned away, revealing and what brings out the worst, ‘cause it’s alien to any human skin underneath. We also find the jungle or the stars.” other fifties out that - like the African lungfish - the monster. Creature has both lungs and gills. An The Gill-man teeters on an apex, Thus, despite emergency tracheotomy fills his lungs balanced between man and monster. We his horrid with air, switching him to an air-breathing see the monster’s humanity in a newly visage, the metabolism. This change coincides with a disclosed talent: He is a brilliant strategist, Creature softening of the flesh, a shrinking of the luring the pursuing ship into shallow, is made finger webbing and a humanizing of the narrow waters, forcing his pursuers to human- eyes. (I’m not judging the film’s science, continue in a small, vulnerable motorboat. like by just reporting it, folks.) We also see his vulnerability, as the good his intelligence, his mastery over his Dr. Morgan actually saves the monster’s “We are changing a sea creature life. Twice. underwater domain and, most of all, his into a land creature,” announces the unrequited love. (handsome but evil) Dr. Barton in the film. In the end, the true monster in this film is not the The first sequel to the eponymous Barton’s purpose is, in a way, somewhat Creature, but film - “Revenge of the Creature” is noble. In a convoluted way, making rather the evil unremarkable. Retelling the same story in the Creature more human will teach Dr.Barton - a a different locale with a different girl, this scientists how to modify people to make drunkard, a film merits no further discussion. them suitable for space travel. (Sputnik would be launched the year after this film self-important The third and final Gill-man film premiered.) “We can create an entirely new windbag who’s - 1956’s “The Creature Walks Among Us” form of life,” Barton notes. “Modern man mean to his - is, however, fascinating. Some critics is limited, Earth-bound to this planet. wife. The consider it the least of the trilogy, the runt He’s bound to it because he’s physically creature kills, that killed off the series, the only one not incapable of making the next giant step... becoming an shot in 3-D. into outer space. Well, we can make him amphibious physically capable.” (Dr. Barton had Mike Tyson, For me, however, the third is the apparently been reading James Blish.) but only when most interesting; it is the one most heavily provoked. laden with science and philosophy. In contrast to the evil Dr. Barton, He kills a the good Dr. Morgan cautions thus: mountain lion, In this film, we are introduced to a “It’s the interaction of heredity and but only in self- transformed version of the Gill-man. He environment for millions of years that defense and becomes more human, and thus more makes a new species... We only changed in his finally rampage, he kills Dr. Barton, but only It was tough at first, but as M got healthy after Barton has killed a man who was As a pregnant woman, I watch a again and I got used to it, I started to want hitting on his wife. The monster’s ultimate lot of movies. It helps that I’m being pam- my own. While Jameson calls me ‘Mom’ fate is tragic. Its gills destroyed, it can no pered by the best lovers ever, but I’ve been and M ‘Lady’ (which is what M prefers), I longer breathe under the water. Nor can spending hours and hours at the AMC in wanted one of my own to call me Mom. he live on land with man. In the end, with town, watching movies and crying like a Now, Jay and I hadn’t talked about no home or hideaway left in this world, he bitch whenever there’s the slightest love it, but it happened out of left field about 2 walks out to the sad, beautiful ocean to story. The crazy girl who once pierced her months before we declared we would start drown himself. eyelid with a safety pin crying at the lat- with visits to the doctor and seeing what As the credits roll, we understand est piece of shit from Katherine Hygel isn’t we could do. M was behind us all the way the ugliness in beauty, and the beauty right. No, not at all. and she said she thought it would hap- in ugliness. We shed a tear for the In Finland, we watched almost all pen sooner. Being around kids + huge monster, and we glimpse the human and our movies on video. The theaters there amounts of sex + a loving environment = inhuman at war within ourselves, as we were crap, the movies subtitled in FInn- baby. She was right. struggle to find love and peace in a cruel, ish. Jay liked to go once in a while, but I’d I go to the movies, not only to get misunderstanding world. rather watch movies we’d buy off of Ama- out of the house, but because there’s zon or the ones that Judith brought when something about other people’s lives that she came to visit. When we moved back to you see. I want to know what it’s like to be Santa Barbara, I started going to the mov- the bridesmaid who never finds her own. I ies again. want to experience the dude who partici- The best thing out there is Walk pated in orgies of magnificent proportions. Hard. Chris loved it and I thought he was I want to watch Johnny Depp slit some just making another one of his terrible throats and the incredible Helena Bonham suggestions again. It’s funny and it shows Carter cook ‘em up. In short, I want to live a life led the way it should be- hard and the lives I might never get to be a part of fast and it keeps going until the moment again. you start taking things seriously which is when you keel over. That’s how life works. That’s a lot like me getting preg- nant. I wasn’t supposed to be able to anymore. About a decade ago, after one of my many stints in the hospital for try- ing to buy a permanent ticket away, I was told that I’d never be able to have kids. It was OK with me, I didn’t really want to be around here no less have a kid. I did my shit for years, got clean and then it all changed when I got back in with M and Jay. They had the kids and I was acting as a side-mom, taking them around, feeding them and carrying them when M couldn’t. Five Annish Things Letter Graded Mail since Mythago Wood is one of the few by Leigh Ann Hildebrand Sent to [email protected] sf/fantasy books I’ve enjoyed in the past by my gentle readers several decades. Also, John Brosnan is a 1. Chris Garcia’s Swingin’ Fanzine Lounge. fan whose work I admired. Bringin’ it since 2007. Let’s start with the powerful Mr. Eric You know, I’ve never read any Brosnan, Mayer! but maybe I should. 2. Big shout out to that candid shot in Looking at the locs...well there I your Little Thing. I hate pictures of myself, Chris, go again....I really thought that article but I like that one. You’re not supposed to be out of replying to Cheryl’s article was an your hidey hole until February 2nd! Oh overreaction and I see in my loc I went 3. The upcoming Drink Tank cookbook, wait, that’s the Punxutawny groundhog.... and...uh...overreacted. Hey, you know Cooking with Panda. That chapter on hand I woke up that morning, walked what they say, it’s easier to write long than fed Kobe-style panda veal (aka peal) is outside, saw my shadow and got the short. really shaping up. hell back into my house! For me, it’s much easier to write short I don’t know how you’re going to than long. I mean I can stop at any 4. Have I mentioned the great folks I met manage all that convention work. All I point and feel finished. It’s why I’ll through you and the Lounge? Especially could think reading about your MC gig never be a writer. Espana and the charming Mr. Schachat. was, man, I’d be a lousy MC. Do they sell Lloyd, mentions liking early They both know how to work a Little tux at the thrift store? Heinlein. I read and enjoyed some of his Thing, if you know what I mean. I got a tux for doing a reality show, so early work when I was a kid but he just if you ever need one, I recommend that totally lost me with Stranger in a Strange 5. Just a thought: LoungeCon. as the preferred method! Land which I thought pure rubbish and, Leigh Ann Perceptive thoughts on the laundry. like much of his later work, kind of creepy. Yes, of course, doesn’t everyone take off I got a foreboding of that at the end of the their pants and underwear at the same Puppet Masters which is disturbing. Police time? Much more efficient. But throwing state prurience. Ugh. Now I can’t even read them into a bin? What? Don’t you have a his old stuff. floor? I have said some bad things about RAH, Still, your idea for taking advantage so I’ll say something nice. He had a of scientific principles to maximize clothes nice pencil moustache for a while... drying seems sound. (Although anyone You say “Sometimes you eat the who caught you throwing your wash bear, sometimes the bear eats you.” But, around might mistake it for fury) . Yes, let’s be realistic here. When you eat the gravity-dried clothes. I like it. bear you might have a stomach ache but All great science is misunderstood by you’re still around but once the bear eats the masses... you...I mean, where do you go from there? Enjoyed Steve Green on the Panto, I will spare my readers the specifics although all I know about panto is Mary of the digestive processof our Ursine keeps trying to explain it to me and I guess Brothers... it’s a “you had to be there” kind of thing. Glad to see Drink Tank is attracting Also found James Bacon’s slice interesting some new people to fandom. I’m not surprised. You are not judgmental. You’re providing for Askance. It will naturally be Imagine what ‘d be thinking about if obviously having fun. When I got into a highlight of the issue. Heck, any of your there was no Lovely and Talented Linda Fandom in the early seventies it was TAFF writings will be a highlight for any around! the friendly, unpretentious, sometimes zine. Enjoy thyself, roomie. Wait a minute! Yes I do. And it is sloppy zines that drew me in. The zines really quite simple: Slow down. Stop every that felt they had to be perfect all the I will get you your piece, I promise! so often to smell the hecto jelly or sniff time and focal points and meet some freshly-printed dittoed zines; pub less Convention organizational meetings frequently, read more, watch television, sort of preconceived standard were just can be interesting. I remember attending intimidating to me. I value the artistic part movies, go to concerts, babysit other many Minicon organizational meetings people’s children... of zines but the communication part is very well. At most of them we had a good more important. time, but when we had to, work was You do all that, too? Fuck it all, I love doing the King of the Crudzines! accomplished and gradually we saw the Garcia, how DO you do it??? Ah, Frank Wu beat me to it. I was con pull together. It is truly amazing how gonna comment on one of Lloyd’s locs well these things can work when the folks Have a great trip. to Drink Tank as soon as he posted it to working on the committee all know each LiveJournal but before the issue! Oh well, other and can play nicely together. Years All the (jealousy-laden) best, all the more reason to vote for him for of experience help, too, and it sounds like John Purcell the Faan awards. Yeah, not artist, but I the CostumeCon folks have that. I bet you already had him down for something else have fun there. We’ll miss you in Vegas, but remember: you’re the one missing out I would tell you the secret of how already. I do it all, but that would break at I don’t care what he says, he was on on the REAL fun convention at the end of least three different treaties! my ballot for both! April. I’m happy to hear M is doing better. I dunno. The plans for CostumeCon I had two friends die of cancer within a make it sound pretty damn exciting. short time of one another a few years ago. It’s a scourge. As for SaBean...I hope this Seriously, though, have a great is considered good news? time. Good luck with your trip. Eric That won’t be a problem! You can see from SaBean’s article Your theories about the washing where she stands! Thanks, Eric! and drying of clothes are interesting and do, in fact, prove one significant fact: you And now...John Purcell!!! have way too much time on your hands. Well, young feller, you should be You really do. Something must be done This issue features a Brad Foster preparing to head on over to England right about this. I suggest you get a girlfriend. soon now. I hope your journey is a safe cover, art from Frank Wu, Bill Oh, wait. You did and do. Hmm... In that Rotsler, James Judah, James one, and that you have a great time. Say case, take a long vacation somewhere far hi to Graham, Eminent Peter, Harry, and away from your usual daily habits, your Bacon, Michelle Elleal, DC Comics the rest of the lot for me. I look forward to job, and... Oh! You are. *grumph* Then I and Scott Shaw, Eric Picollu, seeing them again in April at Corflu. Plus, guess I don’t have any real suggestions for Donnie Jupitar, the University of I can’t wait for the trip report you’ll be you. Utah Graphics Lab and Steve Green. at school”), but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder if my decision to quit the column was the first knell.

Nearly a decade later, I receive an e-mail from an old friend and fellow Dark Tide veteran, who mentions a self- styled journalist based in New York was alleging our former employer was guilty of repeated and voluminous plagiarism, swiping tens of thousands of words from independent websites and passing them off as his own work. by Steve Green and autopsy photographs, possibly To say I was stunned is akin to because her own profession stresses describing Mrs Lincoln as mildly Once upon a time in the early actual respect for the dead). It did get distracted from by the finale of “Our 1990s, I freelanced for a British horror slightly insane at times – I’d originally American Cousin”. What I hadn’t magazine which – to momentarily blind had to cover a half-dozen titles within realised is what a twisted path this the all-seeing eyes of Google – I shall my allotted 2000 words, but it was soon news was about to sent me down. refer to as The Dark Tide. Thanks to my up to at least twenty or thirty – yet I felt work on Critical Wave (coming soon to a vindicated when many of the editors website archive near you, apparently), I pointed out this was pretty much their To be continued… was hired to produce a regular column only platform (this was all long before covering the wave of horrorzines widespread internet access, of course). fueled in part by the Thatcher regime’s draconian attempt to blame every crime By the close, I’d written fifty columns, north of apple scrumping on so-called totalling more than 110,000 words, and “video nasties” (most examples of which would most likely have continued had can now be bought in dvd boxsets from I not wearied of chasing my editor for highstreet retailers). errant cheques. The subsequent collapse of the UK horrorzine scene might well It was a great gig, even if Ann did have its roots in the combination of wince at some of the material which increasingly liberal censorship and the landed on our doormat, especially as availablity of movies on imported discs the column began attracting the interest (a sizeable percentage of the fanzines of publishers outside these shores (she I reviewed had been ridden with lines took particular exception to a Latin such as “I watched this on a third- American compilation of “fatal incident” generation tape lent me by a guy I met