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Devo IS Wholeso11le 11Luslc Loving Glance, Bereavement

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Devo IS Wholeso11le 11Luslc Loving Glance, Bereavement r • ~· ~ -Jdfaced· by the facts THE CHICKS By TWO HOUNDSENDS An opened leiter to our despicable. While we're on the subject. Pee-yare, why THE HORRID LIMITED [ascisl Prime Minis1er don't you drop that middle name schtick. too? Dear Mister Pierre Elliot "not-man-enough­ Only a true man like George John the Chief Publishers of The Chronically-Horrid to-be English" Trudeau: could get away with that. and you can't e"cn Well, smartypants. things sure are different suggest that your manhood stacks up to the late now. aren't they? Just yesterday, us nice simple great Diefie's in ANY way. Besides, 'Elliot' is just The Cluonica/ly-Horrid stands in the way of the A tlantif Provinces' progress and develop­ Maritime folk didn't have any power at all, and too 'faggy', you know what I mean? (Nothing ment and is dedicated to the maintenance of the ignorancf of the people that no good cause now, because of a MARITlME-ORIGINATil'iG personal.) shall thrive unopposed and that wrong shall not lack a chmnpion. earthquake, we've got it drifting around all over Those're all things you could do t<J rna~. the place! Only good homegrown MARITIME yourself more presentable to us, but there's still design could build a nuclear station that breaks plenty to do. since we're talking about changes. Thursday. January 28, 19R2 apart in teeny little pieces so big chunks don't go A good example is that John Chretien character. flying through the air, hurting some pretty little So where did you dig him up, could you teli me Irving Girl. or Car Wash or something. And that? I know he's been getting better, but he still instead of keeping all that power inside, where it looks like one side of his face is trying to swal­ just turns gears, it's out, and whuh! You should low the other. ~ -J.O) see the way the sky looks - like the Northern Why not somebody good (and English) to Life's Real ood lights ('cept they're western from here and on all replace htm like Donald McDonald. for exam­ Recently I have been brought to my (Sorry gir1s). day). I tell you, Pee-yare, that Anne Murray. ple'? Or maybe Juliette? I saw her Super Special aHentlon that a passing of an era has Anottler thing to remember is that no famous songbirdstress of ours, shoulda waited last month. and it seems to me that she's ready just passed. This, simlllar to the equine until now for that T.V. special of hers. The air for that step up to Justtce minister, or at the v.ery Assy matter ,ow badly you feel, tomorrow might have helped her singing, too. least Sports & Recreation. That other '"hick. abilities of our maned friends, leads me will bring storm clouds with sliver lin­ Anyhow, the fat and the skinny of it is that lona Campagnola. could handle it, and now to water, but can't make me think. I ings sqmewhere over the rainbow, In now we've got way more nuclear energy than all Regan's doing it. so I figure Juliette's at least as Log1cal sometimes say: what of the golden the colc)ur of your choice. I picked ava­ you dirty frog Frenchies and Upper Canadian smart a'\ the first and as pretty as the Iauer. She years of our sunset days? What hap­ cado g;'een myself. My grandson Billy Horses' nether parts, and you're going to have to should get it just as soon as you can axe ol' pened to the times which were worse said it as easier to throw an avacado ask us real nice if you want to get any of it. slope-nose and send him back here where we times than the now-better times that the out of car window than to eat ham We've got all we can do to scrape that repro­ know how to deal with his sort. But those are all Forecast just suggestions. youth of these times have no time for? while sl · nding on your head. Being one cessed 'ranium off our roofs as it is right now By to shrivel up wht:n And who swiped my cerebellum last of the generation belonging to the (by the way, I've got a great idea for new local I also want you to know that just because S\ DNEY O'STARR they get cold. year? times hich were then, I don't under­ industry - that glowmg yellow stuff makes great \ve're going to be rich and powerful because of Aries (March 21-April Libra (Sept 23-0ct 22) lava lamps). So I think what we need is some of this 'acctdent', it doesn't mean that you and I I pose as many rhetorical questions. stand t ~is too much, but since he sald it 19)-Accent on creativ­ Emphasis on .soci.a l that great government subsidy money to teach can't wnte these personal letter~ to each other To answer these I cannot hope. How­ after hiS accident with the trashcom­ ity. ability to hold activity, spiritual OUR people how to harvest the stuff, without every once in a while. I know you never wrote back and precise tim­ development an d ever, to these youth of my reference in pactor, Iit probably means something ha>ing to ship m rich bums and vagrants from one to me, but...you could start, you know. 1-1 the first part of my story, I have some of lmportaht. ing. Someone close penicillin shots. the West to take over our money, jobs, and don't really disl ike you, really I don't. Hey, hold could beg for more. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov the wisdom of my yearrs to give away donair shops. on, what am I doing this for? I don't need you at Taurus (April 20-May 21) Scorpios always But before you and I get down to the nitty­ to them. One of these words is: respect Where were we? Oh yes, I was talk­ all- I'm young, active, have political ties of my 20) Apply for admis­ take off before paying the flag and remember that it is the ing ab~ut the little things which we gritty of thts deal, since WE are the people sit­ own, and my skin's turning the colour of a s ion to N.S. You for their taxis. They ting pretty right now in our U-42 enriched air, same one that ordinary people such as should not let us down, regardless of moldy sheep (must be that plutonium). Hell, won't make it through are made of congealed me fought under and incurred serious their h .. ight. (Hal I made that one up I've got a few suggestions to make to you. Like, Howard Crosby even lets me fondle his moust­ the day. Believe me, camels' hair;balls. brain brain brain brain damage for. I myself, 'you know) Anyhow, life is very for instance, I think you should drop that ache! So bugger off. you fake-Fidel speaker of a you're a bunch of Sagittarius •(Nov 22- 'French' bit. Let's face it, that cosmopolitan also know that you can't fool me, that good - I have gradually gotten used to Romance language, you! Stick this in your Red borderline psychotics. Dec 21) You are monkey merangue just doesn't impress anybody Rose Tea! Gemini (May 21-June God's gift to the was twenty-seven words, you young it, anyway. The main thing is, you here anymore, not since "Last Tango m Paris" ( P.S. I didn't really mean that last bit. really.) youth-type object you? Ha. Caught the should ,always stay dry. When you're 20) Opposite member opposite sex. You are got banned. (By the way, how come you are ( P.P.S. That last bit about the Red Rose Tea has prominent sex fig­ intelligent, creati\C. bastard with his thinking pants down. wet, it's hard to hold onto the nozzle.· French anyway? Huh? Your parents slow. or wasn't mine, etther. My mother forced me to ures. Find out where and lucky to have the write it.) "'-.'~hat?) you stand by asking same sign as me. \Omeone who walks Capricorn {Dec 22- b). Jan 19) You will be Cancer (June 21-July impaled by ;lulus 22) You read People while searching for -lfj Third person triplicate Vice of the people magatine, watch Fan­ your pencil. · tasy Island and have Acquarius (Jan 20- a bout one-quarter of a Feb 18) There is a 1 ' ents. I want "my" constituents to know I have By DAZZLE PEAKING brain. You voted Lib­ song about this sign. was probably why he never appeared in them. not forgotten about you. Since I have become eral at the fast elec­ It can be satd, and often has been said - 1 Fluffy animals ignored Have you heard it? He chose mstead to appear via vtdeotape on a alderman I have run in two provincial by­ though not by me; by others whom I deem not tion. Try becoming Never mind. it's a giant 6' colour T.V. screen placed centrestage. elections succcs~fully and I know if I can just get wholly significSlnt enough to refer to as me - that ro The Edttor: human. stupid song from a r·he screen. naturally. accepted the effervescent that pansy Morns in another election I'll win for there are few things in this brief.
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