THE WIZARD of ODD (OZ) a Panto in Two Acts by Claire Demmer

THE WIZARD OF ODD (OZ) A Panto in two acts by Claire Demmer

Copyright September 2013 Claire Demmer THE WIZARD OF ODD (OZ) – THE PANTOMIME The music from the Wizard of Odd is taken from the music of various musicals. Because only short excerpts or single songs from each show are used, it should be permissible to use these songs without a license. As in traditional panto, the three male parts, the scarecrow, tin man and lion can be played by females, but that is up to the director's discretion and casting. Otherwise they can be cast as teenage boys of various ages. The setting is London and the land of Odd, but the location can be changed to suit whoever is performing the play at the time. Sets: Act 1 – The kitchen in an ordinary house. A table with some chairs and the kitchen sink with some dishes. The land of Odd – various locations – hand held decorations and screens on wheels can easily allow set changes to show the locations changing through out the land of Odd. A backdrop of a forest can be used at the director's discretion.

Act 2 - The Emerald city – Screens painted with typical green bricked walls can be wheeled on and off to accomplish scene changes. A backdrop can also be used.

CHARACTERS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE: The Dame of the North Dorothy Toto (a toy in act 1 scene 1 but a life size person in a dog suit in the land of Odd) Auntie Em Uncle Henry Cousins : three boys – David, Charlie, and Johnnie Elmira Gulch a.k.a the wicked witch of the east Munchkins – children up to twenty in number Munchkin King Munchkin Queen Munchkin lawyer The Wicked Witch of the West The Blue Dot The Scarecrow Tin Man The Lion The Guard at the gates The Major of Emerald City The Wiz The fake/zombie guards

The chorus who play various roles

ACT ONE: Scene one Lights down. Cue music playing as an overture which is a mix of all the songs that are used throughout the play. Towards the end of the overture, the Lights come up to show the Dame alone on a raised platform stage right. The curtains remain closed. She is wearing a fairy costume and has horn rimmed spectacles perched on her nose. She holds a big book. Dame: Well, hello boys and girls. (waits for the children to say hello) I didn’t hear anything at all, hmm. Let’s try again. Well, HELLO BOYS AND GIRLS. (waits to listen) Still nothing. (gets out an enormous ear trumpet and puts it to her ear. Stands up and shouts) WELL! HELLO BOYS AND GIRLS! (They respond) Now , that’s better. Today we are going to tell you the fantastic tale of the Wizard of Odd. (someone yells ‘Oz’) I beg your pardon? No, my dear, it’s Odd. Very. Very. Odd. (serious) Now in this tale we have just about everything we need for a good panto. The heroine, our Dorothy of course, who is just an ordinary person, like you and me, although of, course, I'm really quite extraordinary! (preens herself) But, enough about me! Then everyone who helps her on her journey are the good, the bad and, well the downright ugly!! The good ones of course – that's the the Munchkins, the tin man, the scarecrow, the lion and, well of course, me! Then the bad - Hmm – well that would be the wicked witch and her evil army, now wouldn’t it? Now, wicked witches don’t always look nasty and ugly like witches . Sometimes they can be in disguise, and look like quite ordinary people. So if you think you see someone who looks like a wicked witch, I want you to shout very loudly when you see her. That way you’ll protect our heroine, Dorothy from harm. Okay? (waits for a response ) Okay? (waits) That’s better. Now, boys and girls, our story begins one ordinary evening, in an ordinary house, in an ordinary suburb in North London. (cue old fashioned music. The Dame sits down on an old fashioned armchair and opens a large book)

ACT ONE: Scene two

Scene: Modern day kitchen of a house. There is a door stage centre. There is a table stage right, with four chairs at the table. The uncle and the two eldest boys are seated at the table. There is a kitchen sink stage left with some dishes drying on the side. A young girl enters through the kitchen door, with a small dog (or a fake dog toy). She is out of breath and excited. Dorothy: Auntie Em! Auntie Em! (Auntie Em is busy washing up. Uncle is reading the paper. The two older boys are on their mobile phones and the youngest one is helping to dry dishes) Auntie Em: What is it, Dorothy ? Dorothy: You’ll never guess what happened. Toto, go outside for a minute. (Toto exits or Dorothy puts the dog outside the front door and comes straight back inside) Uncle: What did you do now? Dorothy: Whatever do you mean? Uncle: You know what I mean. David: Go on, Dorothy, tell us. Dorothy: It wasn’t me….exactly. It was Toto. Charlie: What did he do? Dorothy: Well, you know you sent me to buy milk, right? Auntie Em: Yes, I did. Where is that milk exactly? Dorothy: The milk? The milk! Oh, sorry, I forgot. Auntie Em: (sighs) Oh, Dorothy. Uncle: You know she’d forget your own head if it wasn’t screwed on. Dorothy: But I wasn’t my fault, really. Charlie: It never is. (Sarcastically) Dorothy: Charlie! Auntie Em: Charlie. We don’t need any of that from you. Charlie: Sorry. Dorothy: Well, anyway, you know we pass by that vets on the way to the corner shop? Well there was this lady coming out and she was holding this big fluffy black cat. Well, Toto saw the cat, and then the cat saw Toto, and it literally freaked out. It leapt out of her arms and clawed its way over her head, making all these big claw marks all the way up her face and then it jumped onto the top of her head! Then it sprang down and charged back into the vet’s office. Toto then quite naturally ran in after it. Anyway, quite a few things were knocked down, and the lady had to be sedated, not to mention the cat – Johnnie: Cool ! Auntie Em: No, it is not cool, Jonathan. Dorothy, where is the lady now? Dorothy: I don’t know. She went away in an ambulance…. I think. Charlie: Oh, this just gets better and better. Dorothy: Charlie! Uncle: Charlie. Charlie: Sorry. David: So, what happened to the cat? And Toto? How did you get him out of there? Dorothy: Well… I had to catch Toto. They were still trying to find the cat when I left, I think. It had gone under a cupboard or something. They were saying something about having to get a builder in to rip the cupboard out, because there wasn’t any way they were going to get the cat out, and then they called the fire department, and they couldn’t get the cat out either. Even with the axes. And then I ….left. Auntie Em: I see. So, I assume someone is going to be in contact with us? Dorothy: Oh, no, don’t worry; I didn’t give them my name. I just left. Uncle: Dorothy! You know that’s not right. Charlie: It’s against the law. Johnnie: Ooh, Dorothy’s going to be arrested. David: Maybe she’ll go to prison. Or one of those reformatory schools for girls. Johnnie: For life! Dorothy: Oh, no. (Dismayed) Do you really think so? Auntie Em: Well, maybe it would be the right thing to do for us to phone and leave our details, just in case. Dorothy: (Really worried) Oh, no, please, Auntie Em, please don’t! I didn’t mean for anything to happen and I’m sure it’s all going to be fine. Couldn’t we just leave it as it is for the moment? Please! It wasn’t my fault. Uncle: It’s high time you started taking responsibility for your own actions, Dorothy. Charlie: I totally agree. Uncle: Charlie! Auntie Em: Charlie! Charlie: Sorry. Dorothy: I will, next time, I promise, but please don’t call them. I don’t want to go to prison. Auntie Em: Don’t be silly. You won’t go to prison. Dorothy: I won’t? Uncle: But you’ll probably have no pocket money for the rest of your life after we’ve paid all the damages. (dry) Dorothy: Okay. (slightly daunted but relieved) I can do that. Uncle: And, you need to promise to put that dog of yours on a lead. Dorothy: Yes, uncle. Auntie Em: Dorothy, do you realise you missed dinner again? Dorothy: I’m sorry, but – Auntie Em: I know, dear. Now, I’ve left your supper in the oven. Best to eat it while it’s still fresh. Dorothy: Thank you, Auntie Em. Uncle: (getting up) And, now, I’m going through to the living room to ring the vets and then I'm going to read my paper in peace and quiet. Have you boys done your homework? David and Charlie: Yup. Johnnie: Not yet… Uncle: Well, I’m going to read then. You boys go and shower. And don’t use up all the hot water again. David: Dad, you know that’s not me, it's Charlie who does it. Charlie: No it’s not! You know you use far more than me! And I don’t spend all my time in the bathroom trying to make myself look pretty! David: At least I don’t spend all my time in the bathroom throwing water on the floor so everyone else slips in it. And I don’t stink. (Charlie grabs David in a hold and gives him a noogie on his head) David: Ow! Uncle: Oy, you two. Shower. Now. Charlie and David: Yes, dad. Can we watch television then? Uncle: After your shower. I’ll leave it switched off until then. (The two boys and their dad exit) Auntie Em: Do you need help with anything, Jonathan? Johnnie: Yes, please. Mrs Trent says we need to ask our parents to help us with our geography. I’m doing Africa. Auntie Em: Okay, I’ll give you a hand. You go and get your homework out of your school bag and I’ll meet you in the dining room. You can watch television once you're done. Johnnie : Thanks, mum. Auntie Em: You’ll do your homework once you’ve eaten, won’t you, Dorothy? Dorothy: Yes, Auntie Em. Auntie Em: There’s a good girl. (Gives her a kiss on the cheek) Dorothy: Auntie Em? Auntie Em: Yes, dear? Dorothy: Auntie Em, I know I’m not the luckiest person in the world, and I don’t mean to cause you and uncle Henry any trouble, honestly. Auntie Em: I know you don’t. Dorothy: And you took me on when my parents….well, you know. I don’t mean to be, you know, a burden to you, or anything. Auntie Em: Don’t talk nonsense, Dorothy. You’re not. (Gives her a hug) Now eat your supper before it gets all dried out in the oven. I’m going to go up to Jonathan now. Call me if you need anything. Dorothy: Thanks. (Auntie Em exits. The lights dim a little as Dorothy opens the oven and puts her dinner on the table, using oven gloves. ) I just wish that I felt like I belonged here. ( She then sings:)

Song 1: SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high There’s a land that I’ve heard of Once in a lullaby Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue And the dreams that you dare to dream Really do come true. Someday I’ll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where trouble melts like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That’s where you’ll find me Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why can’t I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow Why, oh why can’t I? (Lights dim. They come up again on a screen showing an old fashioned black and white newsflash and a weather report. Alternatively, it can be done live as if in an old fashioned radio or television studio) NEWSFLASH!! NEWSFLASH!!! Attention, Britain. This is a severe weather warning. Attention. A tornado has been spotted off the east coast of England and is currently making its way up the Thames. This is an emergency. All residents are to take cover in the nearest storm shelter. If, like most Brits you have no idea where one of those is one of those, try and find a bomb shelter to hide in. There may be some left after the Second World War. Failing that, get to the tube stations and go as deep underground as you can. Attention!! Attention!!! This is a severe weather warning. You need to leave your homes immediately and get to shelter. Take only what you need to survive. The storm is expected to hit the centre of London within the next half an hour and move north from there. There is some good news! You need not fear for your queen. She has been airlifted at great public expense from Buckingham Palace and is currently drinking cocktails on a beach in Barbados. She will return to our shores once the crisis is over. (lights up. Dorothy is sitting at the table. She has finished supper and is busy with her homework Toto is in his basket sleeping. There is a frantic knocking at the door. Dorothy looks up nervously at the door but doesn’t answer. The knocking resumes. Dorothy gets up slowly and starts to slink towards the wings as if to ignore the door. Instead, Auntie Em enters from the wings, hurries across the stage and opens the door. There is a very dishevelled lady standing there. Her white hair is in a mess. There are scratches across her face and she is dressed in a long black dress. She stalks into the kitchen.) WWE: Ah, there are you, you….you ! (Pointing at Dorothy) Where’s my kitty!! What have you done with him? Dorothy: I’m sorry, but I don’t know, honestly I don’t! Auntie Em: I’m Mrs Burns, Dorothy’s aunt. May I ask what this is in connection with? WWE: Ah, so the little wretch hasn’t told you yet? Typical. Auntie Em: Excuse me? WWE: I suppose she didn’t tell you that she and that mangy mongrel of hers inflicted grievous bodily harm to my person earlier this afternoon. Dorothy: No we didn’t! It was your own cat that scratched you! (Uncle enters stage left and stands there with his arms folded) Uncle: Dorothy, you’re not helping. Please sit at the table so we can sort this out, okay? (Dorothy sits down glumly at the table) Auntie Em: Would you like to sit down? (To the WWE) WWE: No. I would not. (Looks directly at Dorothy and points) You’ll pay for this, my pretty. And your little dog, too. I am going to sue your family for everything you have. That cat is worth well over £20000 and it’s your fault that he’s gone. Besides that, there are the injuries to my person. I may need re-constructive facial surgery before I am able to show my face to the world once more. I have an emergency appointment with my plastic surgeon later today. And then I’ll know for sure. ( Over dramatic) Uncle: For a few cat scratches? WWE: (gives him a withering look) Not to mention the years of psychotherapy to deal with the loss of my, my…..er, Frankie. Yes, that’s it. (As if she doesn’t even know her cat’s name) Frankie. Uncle: Look, Miss, Mrs, er – WWE: Gulch. Mizzz Elmira Gulch. Uncle: Look, Mz. Gulch. I’m sure we can sort this out quite easily. Our Dorothy has told us everything and I believe your cat is safe in the care of your vet. If we go down there we can sort this out quite easily. WWE: No. Uncle: No? WWE: No. I refuse to go back to that place ever again. Dorothy: But what about Frankie? WWE: Who? Uncle: Your cat. WWE: Er….Oh, yes, er.. Frankie. My beloved cat. Worth thousands. Now lost forever, thanks to her (points dramatically at Dorothy who shrinks back) Uncle Henry: Your cat is at the vet. I telephoned. They have him. WWE: He’s as good as lost to me, now. Lost! I tell you! Lost!! (Charlie, Dave and Johnnie enter having heard the commotion.) Johnnie: You’re not the police. WWE: I beg your pardon? Uncle: Let’s go. (Gets up to get his coat and starts putting it on – coats all hang on a hook on the wall) Charlie: Where are we going? (Gets his coat) Auntie Em: To the vets. WWE: I told you I won’t set foot in that place. I have never been so insulted! Charlie: Really? I’m surprised. (Dead silence follows ) What, no ‘Charlie!’ David: I’m surprised too. Uncle: David.(warning) Johnnie: Ha-ha. David: Sorry. Let’s get our coats on, Charlie (they both put their coats on) Auntie Em: We’d better hurry. They’ll close soon. WWE: I told you I am not going to THAT place. Charlie: What did they say to you anyway? WWE: They said I should have put my cat in a basket. I couldn’t believe it. The audacity. Johnny: Oh. That makes sense. Well, why didn’t you? WWE: He would never have jumped had that mangy mutt not frightened him. That place now holds so many painful memories for me. (Sniffs into a handkerchief) I will not go back. Uncle: We’ll just go and get your cat for you, shall we? Sort this whole thing out. Dorothy - I think it’s best that you stay here. We’ll handle everything, okay? Mizz Gulch – I think it’s best if I don’t leave you with Dorothy. WWE: Hah! Uncle: So we’ll all go down and you can wait outside. We go in, get your cat, give him to you – Charlie: She should sign some sort of disclaimer, dad.

WWE: Ha. Uncle: (eyes the WWE) Good thinking, Charlie. Okay, Mz. Gulch – you sign a disclaimer , we give you Frankie, then we go our separate ways. Dorothy: Okay, I’ll stay here. I’ll get Toto in as well (she retrieves Toto from outside the door) Auntie Em: I think that’s best. You stay here and do your homework. (They open the door. There is the effect of a fan blowing their hair.) Gosh, this wind is strong. Looks like a storm’s coming. Well, I'm sure we'll be back soon. Bye, Dorothy. Dorothy: Bye. (They all file out and Dorothy closes the door behind them and she goes to sit. The lights dim and there is the sound effect of a heavy wind and crashing. Dorothy pulls her cardigan closer and shivers. She holds Toto on her lap. In the midst of all the wind sounds there is another heavy knocking on the door. Dorothy gets up and walks to the door as if she is afraid of what is going to happen. As she opens it there is a sound of a lightning strike and the lights go onto the WWE highlighted and blowing. Dorothy screams) WWE: (Cackles) hahahha! I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too! (Lightning strike sound effect and the light flash again. The witch raises a broomstick and Dorothy screams and hides under the table. Then the witch is blown away. The lights go off and lighting flashes on and off with the sound of thunder and it all goes dark. There is a repeat broadcast of the newsflash in sound only. While the lights are off the scene must be changed entirely. If the time is too short then extra thunder and lightning crashes and music can be added for effect. The WWE can ride/run through the audience on/holding her broomstick laughing maniacally as well.

ACT ONE: SCENE THREE: THE LAND OF ODD, MUNCHKINLAND

There is a house with a doorway in it, the legs of the WWE poking out underneath the house wearing stripey stockings and a very over-colourful empty stage with rainbows and lollipops and large sweeties etc. There is the sound of birdsong. Dorothy very slowly opens the door and walks out, amazed. She is wearing the classic Dorothy Dress. She is followed by a man in a dog suit who is the magical ‘Toto’ in this land. From off-stage and backstage and from the back of the hall there is the sound of the Munchkins singing. The Munchkins character's are based on '”The minions” from the movie “Despicable Me “ Song 2: Hi Ho (all Munchkins in harmony) Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi ho!

Hi ho, Hi ho It's home from work we go (whistles) Hi ho, Hi ho, Hi ho

Hi ho, Hi ho It's home from work we go (whistles) Hi ho, Hi ho (more whistles)

Hi ho, Hi ho Hi ho, Hi ho Hi ho, Hi ho Hi ho, Hum

Hi ho, Hi ho It's home from work we go (whistles) Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho (the singing continues sotto voce)

Dorothy: I don’t think we’re in Crouch End, any more, Toto. (Pauses and looks around) Toto? Toto: Yes? (From behind her) Dorothy: (Jumps and swivels round) Oh my goodness! Sorry! Who’re you? Toto: I’m Toto. You know your dog? (Dorothy nods uncertainly) Now, I’m the pantomime dog. Tada! (Fanfare) Dorothy: I thought there was supposed to be a pantomime horse in traditional pantos. Toto: Yes, but with the recession there were some budget cuts and anyway… I’ve been downgraded. (sighs) It’s always the arts that suffer. Dorothy: But you’re so -….. Toto: Yes, I know I’m a lot taller than I used to be back home. I always saw myself this way. Anyway, I kind of like it. Dorothy: And you can - … Toto: Talk. Yes I know. Always did, if you knew how to listen. Dorothy: Well, I’m glad you’re not a horse, Toto. Toto: Me too, wouldn’t know how to fit in my basket. (attempts to scratch behind his ear with his back leg and falls over comically) Well, that didn't work. Dorothy: (walking forward) What is this place, Toto? Munchkin: (runs onto stage) What is this place, she asks? What is this place? Why, it’s the land of Odd! (4-6 Munchkins run onto stage shouting) The land of Odd, the land of Odd! We call this place the land of Odd! Toto: Odd? Bit weird, if you ask me. Song 2 continues as all the Munchkins come onto stage from various locations throughout the theatre. This song may be choreographed.

It’s Odd, it’s Odd This is the land of Odd Just take your head and nod, nod, nod (all the Munchkins nod their heads in time) It’s Odd, It’s Odd, it’s Odd.

It’s Odd, it’s Odd This is the land of Odd Just take your head and nod, nod, nod (all the Munchkins and Dorothy and Toto nod their heads in time) It’s Odd, It’s Odd, it’s Odd

It’s Odd, it’s odd It’s Odd, it’s odd It’s Odd, it’s odd It’s Odd, Yes!

Toto: Do they only know the one tune? Dorothy: Apparently. Munchkin King: We welcome you to Munchkin land Munchkins: Fa la la la la la lala la lala la. (chanting) Munchkin King: And we will glorify your name. Munchkin Lawyer: You’ll have a blast in the hall of fame! Dorothy: Oh, no thank you… Munchkin Queen: It’s always a good thing to have a blast, dear. Dorothy: Well, okay, um, thanks. Munchkin King: Any time, sweetheart. Dorothy: Thank you. I really appreciate it (happy sounds from Munchkins) But, do you mind telling me where we are? Munchkins: (taking a big breath and singing) It’s Odd!!!! Dorothy: Stop, stop – sorry, sorry. I know you said, er, sang that earlier. Toto: That’s an understatement. Dorothy: Shoosh! You said this land is called Odd? Munchkin Lawyer: Well, strictly speaking, you’re currently in Munchkinland. That’s one of the counties in the land of Odd. Dorothy: Counties in the land of Odd? But how do I get back to Crouch End? (They shake their heads) It’s in London? In England? Munchkin Lawyer: We do not know this Lun..don….. but you could ask the Dame of the North. She is the local know it all. Munchkins: Local know it all. Dorothy: The Dame of the North? Munchkin King: Yes! She is coming to join us for our celebrations. Dorothy: Celebrations? Munchkin Queen: Yes! We are celebrating because the Wicked Witch is dead. You killed her! Munchkins: Ding Dong! Munchkin King: You threw a house on her! Munchkin Lawyer: And now she’s dead.

Dorothy: Dead! Munchkin Queen: Of course she is. Houses have that effect on people. Even wicked witches. Munchkins: Ding Dong! Toto: Why do they keep saying that? (Aside) Dorothy: What? Toto: Ding Dong! (Whispered) Munchkins: Ding Dong ! (Shouted) Toto: Never mind. Munchkin Queen: Here comes the Dame of the North, now! Munchkins: Ah! (They all bow, and Dorothy and Toto see what they are doing and follow suit) (The Dame enters dressed as a policewoman. She is carrying a notebook) Dame: Hello, hello, hello, and what have we here? (walks towards the house) Dorothy: If you please, I’m Dorothy and this is Toto. Dame: I see you had a little accident. (very clipped accent) Dorothy: Yes, I know, but I didn’t mean to. Dame: Of course you didn’t. But it doesn’t change the fact that you did. I assume you have reported it to the relevant authorities? Dorothy: Well, - Dame: (consults notebook ) And you have of course filled out forms 2, 2.3, 2.7, 2.228 and let’s see, oh my gosh, form 3.14159? Toto: That’s Pi. Dame: What are you implying, young dog? (eyeing him sternly) Dorothy: Oh, nothing, nothing, listen we’re very sorry, but we didn’t know and now we’re here and we can’t find our way home and now apparently we’ve killed someone with our house, and it’s just been a horrible, horrible day- (almost in tears) Dame: Oh, don’t cry, deary. I’m just joking. Pulling your leg? Dorothy: Wwhat? Dame: It’s fabulous news, sweetie! Everyone is simply taken with the fact that you threw a house on her. Dorothy: But who did we throw a house on? Dame: The wicked witch of the East, of course. She has ruled the Munchkins with a wicked and terrible hand for the past fifty years. Munchkin Lawyer: Fifty years. No ding dong. (shakes head sadly)

Munchkins: Uh uh. (shake head sadly and in time) Dame: But now they are free. Munchkin King: Oh, what a beautiful day. Dame: I was just on my way to visit my sister - the absolutely fabulous Joanna Lumley, to let her know. Munchkin Queen: The good witch of the South. Dame: But I thought, honey, stop! You simply have to see her for yourself. Dorothy: Who? Munchkin Queen: The wicked witch of the east. Those (points) are her legs sticking out from under your house. (they all run to look) Dorothy: Oh, my, Toto. It’s Mz Gulch. Dame: A.k.a. the wicked witch of the east. Toto: See? Do you blame me now? Dorothy: I never did, Toto.

Song 3: The wicked witch is dead ( To the tune of Pore Judd is dead from Oklahoma)

(Largo. The munkchins seem solemn at first and the first two verses should be sung quite sadly but after verse two, break into happy dancing and song) (Munchkins)

That witch is dead The wicked witch is dead All gather round her coffin, say goodbye! She had a heart of (pause while they think [one Munchkin speaks ]well, it wasn't gold) And she was so very old And how did such a bad witch come to die? (echo - come to die)

The witch is is dead The wicked witch is dead She's lookin' oh so peaceful and serene ([three Munchkins] and serene) For a big house fell on her She's been moved on, (as it were) And now she's gone - it's like she's never been! ( echo - never been)

[spoken] Ding Dong! Let the joyous news be spread The wicked old witch at last is dead

(cue same music but treble tempo)

She's dead and gone That house - it weighed a ton She's really flattened out now quite a bit We can't say we are sad In fact we're very glad Because her rule - it wasn't quite a hit.

(spoken with humming in the background - ah's and oohs)

She ruled us with her evil wand Her wicked ways and vicious tricks And now she's really gone for good She'll never return, she never could!

That witch is dead The wicked witch is dead She's lookin' oh so peaceful and serene ([three Munchkins] and serene) For a big house fell on her She's been moved on, (as it were) And now she's gone - it's like she's never been!

And now she's gone - it's like she's never been! babalabaloopa long ding dong! (In old fashioned barber shop quartet style)

Dame: You’ve made them all so happy, sweetie. Brings tears to my eyes (takes out delicate handkerchief and dabs eyes. Blows nose violently) Am I okay, darling? Has my mascara run? Dorothy: No, it's fine. Dame: Oh, thank goodness. If that had happened I would wish a house would fall on me as well, I'd be so embarrassed. Toto: Be careful what you wish for. I used to wish I was bigger but now it's so much more complicated to get a good scratching in. (attempts badly) Dorothy: I am glad I could help. But, I just really want to go home. Dame: Of course you do, of course you do. It's just horrid being away from home, isn't it? You must feel so sad. Somebody wants a huggie wuggie!! (crushes Dorothy in an embrace. Toto joins in as well with the hugs and then all the Munchkins do too) Dorothy: Do you know how to get back to London, Dame of the North? (The WWW appears on stage right away from everybody. They don’t notice her at first. She slinks in quietly and wickedly. The children will see her and they can shout to the Dame and Dorothy who can pretend not to notice at first or look confused and peer in the opposite direction. ) Dame: You’ll have to speak up dear, I can’t hear you over all the noise! (raised voice) (The WWW can continue to slink forward and trip over her broomstick and fall down making a huge clatter and clash. Everybody jumps. She gets up, rubbing her bottom and all the Munchkins run and hide. They peer out from behind the bushes and laugh at her. Dorothy shrinks back behind the Dame) WWW: Ow. Dame: Aw, tsk tsk. WWW: It’s not funny. Dame: Well, it’s a bit funny. Toto: It is a bit funny. WWW: It is NOT funny! Where’s my sister? Dame: Over there (Points at the house. The WWW heads towards the cottage with the legs sticking out) Dorothy: (To the dame) Her sister? Dame: This is the wicked witch of the west. Dorothy: And the other one? Toto: The one under the house. ( indicating with thumb pointing to the house) Dame: The wicked witch of the east. Dorothy: Oh. Oh, no. Do you think she’s very cross? WWW: (In an imitation of Dorothy and stalking towards her) Do you think she’s very cross? Do you think she’s very cross? WELL (Shouting) DO YOU? Toto: I think that’s a yes. WWW: Of course I’m very cross! She’s wearing the shoes that were to come to me! And I say, them what did it, done her in. (points at Dorothy) Dorothy: Done her in? Toto: It's the new slang. She means 'killed her.' Dorothy: Oh, I see. But what does she mean about the shoes? Dame: Do you mean the ruby slippers? (to the WWW) WWW: Of course I mean the blinking ruby slippers. And now my sister is stuck under that house, so it's all gone to pie. Toto: Or 3.14159

WWW: (Eyeing Toto in a bad temper) Who're you?

Toto: I'm Toto. I'm the pantomime dog.

WWW: I see. Budget cuts, hey?

Toto: Unfortunately, yes. You too? WWW: What are you implying? Toto: Oh, no, no nothing, nothing at all. WWW: Good. Well, as I was saying, she's squashed now and deader than dead, most likely. Why I bothered to have her make a will is beyond me. Now I'll never know what happened to those blasted slippers. Dame: Do you mean these ruby slippers on young Dorothy's feet? (Points at Dorothy’s feet) Dorothy: What? (looks down ) Oh, dear. Were they her shoes? How did they get there? Dame: Magic, my dear. You defeated her and won them, fair and square. WWW: But they was mine! I was the one that was supposed to kill her. Not some young upstart. You, give them back to me now! (advancing on Dorothy) Dorothy: Well, - Dame: Don’t do it, Dorothy. They’re magic shoes and the power in them will protect you from harm, especially from witches. Besides, which, they’re PRADA and they look simply fabulous on you. Dorothy: Do you really think so? I mean, they do fit nicely. (examines the shoes and lifts her ankle) Munchkin queen: They look ever so comfortable Munchkin lawyer: You could walk a mile in those. Dame: And the colour goes with your eyes. WWW: Silence! Those are my slippers and everybody knew it. I was the one that was supposed to be walking a mile in them. Dame: But you fly everywhere, Griselda. On your broomstick. WWW: That is not the point. I will get them back, even if I have to prise them off your cold dead feet, my pretty. And your little dog too. Toto: But that doesn't make any sense-

WWW: That is not the point, er, either. I can't touch you now, my dear, but you just wait. One day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, I'll get you. Er, and your little dog , too.

Song 4: Just you wait (sung by WWW. To the tune of Just you wait, 'Enry 'Iggins)

Just you wait, ooh, my pretty, just you wait. You’ll be sorry, but your tears will be too late. You’ll be dead, and I’ll have done it Bought your ticket? Yes, you won it Ha ha ha, yes, my pretty just you wait.

Just you wait, ooh, my pretty, till you're sick And you screams to fetch the doctor double quick I'll be there a second later Waiting patiently for fate ter Take you down, yes my pretty, just you wait.

Ooh, yes my pretty Just you wait until you're skipping down the road Ooh, yes my pretty And you get a cramp, a pain like you’ll explode

Then you'll yell You're gonna die I'll stand there And shout ' goodbye!'

Ha, ha, ha, yes, my pretty You'll be gone, ooh, my pretty Just you wait.

One day I'll have power I will rule all of Odd With my new shiny red shoes I will triumph, and I'll nod.

Cause One evening, the wiz will say Griselda, old thing I want the whole of Oddland your praises to sing

Next week on the 20th of May I proclaim Griselda Queen, shout hooray!!

All the people will celebrate the glory of you And whatever you wish is what they will have to do.

But of course, wiz, says I, in an oh so cunning way We'll start with your head then, what d'ya say? Done says the queen (that's me(spoken) ) with a stroke His head will roll first, it's no joke!

Yes, I'll march that old wizard to the wall And, then I'll wave my wand and he will bawl. He'll be gone in a flash And I'll get all his cash (he's rich, you know)

With my new ruby shoes MY all powerful ruby shoes Just you wait!

WWW: (At Dorothy) Goodbye. For now. Hahahaha!!! (Exits to the noise of a thunderclap and flashing lights)

Toto: Don't you love how the villain always tells us their cunning plan to take over the world? Just in case we don't know? Dame: Well, we didn’t. But at least now we do. Dorothy, you have made an unfortunate enemy. I think it’s high time you got out of the land of Odd. Dorothy: I’d love to. The Munchkins said you would tell me the way? Dame: The way to where, my dear? Dorothy: London. Dame: Pardon? Dorothy: Loondoon. It’s in England. Dame: Never heard of it. Dorothy: Really? Oh, no, I was really hoping you could help me. Dame: I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I honestly have no idea where you mean. Dorothy: Oh, no, what am I supposed to do now? Dame: If I can’t get you home, then the great and powerful Wizard of Odd might be able to. Munchkins: The Great Odd!! Ooh.

Dorothy: Where is this wizard of Odd? Munchkin Lawyer: He lives in the Emerald City. Toto: The Emerald City? Munchkin Queen: The most beautiful place in all of Odd. Munchkin King: It's green. Toto: Really? I would never - Dorothy: Toto, shoosh. Dame , how do we get there? Dame : That's simple. You just follow the blue dot. Dorothy: The blue dot? Like with GPS? Dame: Never heard of GPF, either, dear. You keep on and on talking about things that I have never heard of. It makes my head ache so … (rummages in her bag) Now where are my little yellow pills.... (looks up) But there is the blue dot now. (she points at a single actor dressed all in black with a large blue dot on his back who has appeared either stage left or right) All you have to do is follow it and you'll get there. But be warned - it can sometimes jump a few blocks without warning, disappear entirely, reappear in another location, and even (lowers voice to a whisper) suck your battery dry within half an hour. Toto: That doesn't sound very reliable.

Dame: It isn't. But there you have it. Oh, look, it's about to jump. ( the actor is squatting in a leapfrog pose as if he is about to spring) You'd best be off. Good luck and I'll be watching you!

Toto: That's very comforting. Munchkins: Goodbye! (The Munchkins pick up the various brightly coloured stage decorations and slowly leave the stage. The house gets wheeled off as well. The stage is now decorated with some trees and bushes and a few rocks, to represent a forest. For the rest of the journey, the blue dot can stay with them except when stage directions indicate it isn't. The Dame returns back to her seat at the side of the stage) Dorothy: Goodbye! (she waves at the disappearing Munchkins) Okay, Toto, there's the blue dot now. As long as we follow it we'll get there, I suppose.

DANCE NO 1 – ANY MUSICAL NUMBER BASED ON A SONG ABOUT A ROAD/TRAVELLING FROM A MUSICAL. IT SHOULD BE COMICAL AND THEY can BE JOINED ON STAGE/THROUGH THE AISLES BY GENERAL CHORUS . This is optional depending on time. Otherwise, they can link arms and skip along with the blue dot in front. As the blue dot approaches the stage it suddenly dashes into the wings, and they climb back onto the stage. There is a stationary scarecrow in the middle of the stage. Dorothy and Toto go right past it)

Dorothy: Oh, no where'd it go?

Scarecrow: It went that way. (Pointing)

Dorothy: Thanks. (Looking round) Hang on, who said that? Scarecrow: Or, it might have gone that way (Points in the opposite direction) Dorothy: (Sees the scarecrow as alive for the first time ) Oh, my gosh, it talked.

Toto: But which way did it go?

Scarecrow: Honestly, I saw it come and go, but I can't remember. Dorothy: But it was just a second ago.

Scarecrow: It's not my fault, really. You see, I haven’t got any brains. Toto: What happened to them?

Scarecrow: Zombies.

Toto: Zombies? Scarecrow: Zombies. I hate zombies. Dorothy: But where did they come from? Scarecrow: The Wicked Witch of the West - she has a zombie army. One night they got loose, and then... Dorothy: I'm so sorry.

Scarecrow: That's okay. Dorothy: And you really can't remember where the blue dot went?

Scarecrow: What blue dot?(looks puzzled.) Dorothy: But how will we find our way to the Emerald city now? We have to find the Wizard of Odd so I can get home. Scarecrow: Oh, please will you take me with you? I need to see the Wizard of Odd right away! I'm hoping he can give me some brains again. Dorothy: Of course you can come. Scarecrow: Oh, thank you, thank you - you don't know what this means to me. Now – who are you again? Dorothy: Dorothy. And Toto too. Scarecrow: And Toto too. And me – that's a no brainer!

Song 5: They came and took the brains round out of my head (to the tune of I'm gonna wash that man)

(spoken with a whistle in the background like old cowboy songs) It was a dark and stormy night When they came over the mountains It was raining that night, I remember Or, hang on, maybe I don't really remember Because: singing:

They came and took the brains right outta my head They came and took the brains right outta my head They came and took the brains right outta my head And sent me on my way (Dorothy and Toto)

They came and took the brains round outta his head They came and took the brains right outta his head They came and took the brains right outta his head And sent him on his way.

Scarecrow: I've tried to patch it up

Dorothy and Toto: Plastered it, bandaged it

Scarecrow:

Washed it and dried it out

Dorothy and Toto: Did it help?

Scarecrow: It did nowt.

They cancelled me and let me go!

Dorothy and Toto: Oh brother.

Scarecrow: They came and took the brains right outta my head They came and took the brains right outta my head They came and took the brains right outta my head And sent me on my way.

Now I just don't understand you

When you talk at me that way Waste of time, can't think no more Now I know what my brains were for

They knocked me out at the first round And threw me to the ground.

Dorothy:

If your brains are truly missing If you haven't got a clue Waste no time, make the change You need someone who's quite the rage We're off the see the Wizard The wonderful wizard of Odd.

Oho, oho!

Scarecrow:

You can't light a fire when you have no match (knocking himself with his hand on the side of his head)

Dorothy and Toto:

No! Scarecrow: You can't think a thought all day long

Dorothy and Toto: hmm, hmm

Scarecrow:

You can't make me think so my head I can't scratch

Dorothy and Toto: And if you can't scratch it it's wrong!

Scarecrow:

If I can just put my brains back inside my head That wicked witch has got them now, that's what her zombies said!

Dorothy and Toto Oh no! Oh no!!

Scarecrow:

They came and took the brains right outta my head They came and took the brains right outta my head They came and took the brains right outta my head And sent me on my way

(Dorothy and Toto) They came and took the brains round outta his head They came and took the brains right outta his head They came and took the brains right outta his head

All: And sent him on his way!!!

( The blue dot appears from the wings and applauds the end of the song happily) Dorothy: Look! There's the blue dot! Follow it! Are you coming, Scarecrow?

Scarecrow: Coming! Ready or not! Yoo hoo! They all follow the blue dot through the audience. Dorothy, Toto and the scarecrow can dance or skip along as before, all with arms linked or behind each other. The wicked witch appears behind them and slinks after them. The children in the audience must see her and shout to warn her and the dame , who is back sitting in her armchair at the side of the stage. The wicked witch pulls a bottle of cola out of her cloak, and an ice bucket. She places these both carefully down on a picnic blanket with some glasses. She brings out a dog bowl as well. She then waves her wand over the whole picnic. The tin man enters at the same time as her and stands stationary on the opposite side of the stage. The lighting should be focussed on the picnic area and the WWW so that the audience doesn't notice him. WWW: Hahaha, my pretty. One drink, and you'll fall into a deep sleep – never to return. Now let's see – I'll hide over here behind these convenient rocks and watch as events transpire. (Hides behind something. Dorothy, Toto and the Scarecrow skip back onto stage)

Dorothy: Oh, I'm so tired and thirsty. I wish there was a stream or something to drink. Scarecrow: (Pointing at picnic) Look! Toto: A picnic! I really fancy a big bowl of water.

Dorothy: Oh , there's cola and glasses, some ice and even a blanket to sit on. Oh, Toto, somebody is looking after us after all. Do you think it's the Dame of the North? Scarecrow: Well if she is, I'm very grateful as I'm thirsty too. Do you want me to pour you some cola? Dorothy: Oh, yes, please! Dame: (To the audience) Do you think she should drink that?

Children: No!! Dame: Should we tell her not to drink it? Children: Yes! Scarecrow: (To Dorothy) Ice? Dorothy: Oh, yes, please. Scarecrow: One lump or two? (picks up blocks of ice and puts them in the glasses) Dame: Quick, children, we need to stop her. I want you to shout the word 'stop!” as loudly as you can and I only hope that she will hear us. (The children in the audience can start shouting. They can continue shouting throughout the scene)

Toto: Do you hear something? Dorothy: No. Scarecrow: No. Let me pour this for you, shall I? Dorothy: You're very kind. Scarecrow: Don't mention it. (Pours the cola) Dame: (To the audience) They can't hear you. I think you need to shout louder!

Audience: STOP!

Dame: Louder! Scarecrow: Well, bottoms up! (They both raise their glasses about to drink and can even clink them together) Cheers! Dame: Louder! Now!

Audience: STOP!!! Toto: Stop!!! Stop. Don't drink that. I've got a bad feeling about this. Dorothy: Do you mean - The wicked witch of the west?

Toto: Perhaps. Look. (Pours the cola into a glass with dry ice in it, which fizzes and steams. He drops the glass) Poison! I thought so.

Dorothy: Oh, Toto, you saved us. (Hugs him) Thank you, thank you so much. Toto: I think the Dame may have had a hand in warning us, though! WWW: (Emerging from her hiding place) You escaped this time, my dear, but never again. Until next time...... hahahaha! (Sweeps off) Scarecrow: She gives me the creeps. Watching us the whole time like that .

Toto: Well, she is the wicked witch. No one said she wasn't creepy. Scarecrow: True. How did she even know where we were?

Dorothy: Magic. It's the only explanation. Let's just check that she's really gone and that she hasn't left anything or anyone round to spy on us again. I'll get rid of this (Indicates the picnic)

(They hunt round the stage and also at the same time pack up the picnic and carry it off stage themselves. They are busy hunting when they come across the Tin man.) He is standing at the side of the stage and has been there since the wicked witch laid her picnic) Toto: (Sniffing round, he finds the tin man and starts sniffing at his feet, then all the way up his body and then to his chest and face) Tin Man: That tickles! Heehee. (spoken with a half closed mouth) Toto: (Gets a fright and leaps back, falling onto his bottom) Arrgh! It's alive.

Tin Man: Arrgh, I'm alive! (Gets a fright as well) Dorothy: Toto! Did you find something? (They all rush over to Toto and the Tin man. Dorothy regards the Tin man seriously) Tin Man: Oh, my goodness, oh my goodness gracious! You scared me.

Scarecrow: We scared you? Tin Man: It's been so long since I spoke to anyone, you see.

Dorothy: Before we do anything else, tell me who you are? We were just attacked by the wicked witch of the west and here you are appearing conveniently upstage left. Are you with the wicked witch of the west? Are you one of her spies? Tin Man: The wicked witch of the west? No !! I want nothing to do with that hag. She stole my heart. And now I don't have it any more. And now I'm just an empty shell without her, I mean, without it.

Scarecrow: In love with that hag? Dorothy: What happened?

Tin Man: I thought I was in love with her. Once. A long time ago. She looked, I don't know, like the most beautiful green girl in the entire world. But she tricked me and lulled me into a deep sleep. Once I was asleep she stole my heart. Then she had power over me – I would have done whatever she wanted!! Instead, she grew bored of me and left me here to rust... but I still wait, hoping, that one day, she'll return and give me my heart back.

Song 6: One singular sensation. This song should be choreographed in a Jazz style. It can be done with 4 actors, but if the director wishes, dancers can emerge from the forest and join in to make a mass dance. Even to dot can join in.

Tin Man:

(spoken) It was like:

(sung) One singular sensation Every little step she took. One thrilling combination Her body and that look. One smile and suddenly nobody else would do; I thought I'd never be lonely with you know who.

One moment in her presence And I did forget the rest. For that girl seemed second best To none, Son.

Ooooh! Sigh! Gave her my attention. Do...I...really have to mention? She was the One?

(spoken ) or so I thought.

Scarecrow: (spoken) Been there.

She walks into a room And you know

Scarecrow and Dorothy: She's un- Commonly rare, very unique, Peripatetic, poetic and chic.

[All] She walks into a room And you know from her Maddening pose, effortless whirl, She's the special girl. Stroll-ing, Can't, help, All of her qualities extol-ling. Loaded with charisma is my Jauntily sauntering, ambling shambler. She walks into a room And you know you must Shuffle along, join the parade. She's the quintessence of making the grade. This is whatcha call Trav-ling. Oh, strut your stuff! Can't get enough Of her. Love her. I'm a son of a gun, She is one of a Kind... [Toto and Tin man sing together and Dorothy and Scarecrow sing together simultaneously]

[Toto and Tin Man] One singular sensation Every little step she takes. One thrilling combination Every move that she makes. One smile and suddenly nobody else will do; You know you'll never be lonely with you know who.

One moment in her presence And you can forget the rest. For the girl is second best To none, Son. Ooooh! Sigh! Give her your attention. Do...I...really have to mention? She's the One?

[Dorothy and Scarecrow]

She walks into a room And you know from her Maddening pose, effortless whirl, She's the special girl. Stroll-ing, Can't, help, All of her qualities extol-ling. Loaded with charisma is my Jauntily sauntering, ambling shambler. She walks into a room And you know you must Shuffle along, join the parade. She's the quintessence of making the grade. This is whatcha call Trav-ling. Oh, strut your stuff! Can't get enough Of her. Love her. I'm a son of a gun, She is one of a Kind... [All] One singular sensation Every little step she takes. One thrilling combination Every move that she makes. One smile and suddenly nobody else will do; You know you'll never be lonely with you know who. One moment in her presence And you can forget the rest. For the girl is second best To none, Son. Ooooh! Sigh! Give her your attention. Do...I...really have to mention? She's the... She's the... She's the... One! Toto: So you both were a bit green, eh? Tin Man: Not funny. I know how she looks, but I promise you, she used magic to change herself to look like the most perfect girl that ever lived.

Dorothy: You sound like you're still in love with her. Tin Man: Course I am! She has my heart! In a jar on her bedside table! And until I get it back, or get a new one, I'm destined to be this way. Scarecrow: But how did you come to be here? Tin Man: And then I was waiting for her to return, waiting and waiting and I was thinking of her..... (Goes into reverie. Toto waves his paws in front of the Tin Man's eyes. No reaction. After a while Toto clears his throat, once, then twice, louder than the first time) Oh, sorry, you see how I get – well anyway when I came out of it you were here. I have no idea how long it's been. Toto: I think a bit too long. (Removing a birds nest from behind the Tin Man's ear) Wow. Dude. You so have to get your heart back.

Dorothy: We're going to the Emerald City to see the great and powerful wizard of Odd. Maybe he can help you?

Tin Man: Oh, could I come with you, please? If he could give me a new one, I could fall in love again! With someone else!

Dorothy: Let's go! Scarecrow: Hang on! Where are we? Toto: On the way to the Emerald city (spoken slowly) Scarecrow: Oh, yes. Of course. Thanks, ever so much.

(Lights fade and come up on the Dame)

Dame: Now, the four of them travelled many days and soon they were close to the borders of the Emerald City. Dorothy: There it is – look (Points off-stage) – the Emerald City!

Scarecrow: The Emerald City? Tin Man: The Emerald city, you idiot, to get you some brains, and me a heart!

Dorothy: And to get me – and Toto of course home! Toto: Let's run! First one there is the winner! (They run off-stage. A second later they run back on stage and scatter in various directions, screaming and pursued by a lion. They hide behind the trees and bushes. The Lion walks proudly onto stage, considers the audience and sings. The song should be choreographed as if he is chasing and fighting with the others. The choreography should reflect the physical comedy of the song)

Song 7: Lion's song (Gaston's song from Beauty and the Beast)

Lion: (looking for them)

No one's slick as the lion No one's quick as the lion No one's neck's as incredibly thick as the lion For there's no one in Odd half as liony Perfect, a pure paragon You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on (roar as he finds them and they run away)

All: No one's been like the lion A king pin like the lion Toto: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like the lion Lion: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating (stops chasing Toto and feels his chin giving Toto a chance to get away)

All: My what a beast, oh, that lion ( they try to sneak away and he sees them) Give five "oh no 's!" Lion: Give twelve "hip-hips!" The lion is the best And the rest is all drips

All: No one fights like the lion Douses lights like the lion Tin Man: In a wrestling match nobody bites like the lion (as the lion tries to bite him) Dorothy: For there's no one as burly and brawny Lion: As you see I've got biceps to spare Scarecrow: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny Lion: (That's right!) And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair

Toto: No one hits like the lion (as the lion takes a shot at him) Tin Man: Matches wits like the lion (as the lion waits for him to come round the corner and jumps out at him) Scarecrow: In a spitting match nobody spits like the lion (as the lion pretends to spit) Lion: I'm especially good at expectorating (Ptooey!) All: Ten points for the lion!

Lion: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge

All: No one roars like the lion Makes that noise like the lion Dorothy: Then goes hunting and scaring good folks like the lion Lion I use antlers in all of my decorating (a hint that he is going to eat them and they scream and scatter)

Lion: Say it again! (menacing and advancing toward them)

All: Who's a lion among lions! And then say it once more Who's the hero next door?

Lion: Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask my fans and my five recent meals There's just one lion in Odd – I see you all nod! (they all nod nervously and in time)

Toto: And his name's L- I -0 -N Oh say it again Li-I-O-N - oh!

[Chorus:] The Lion! (in typical end of song formation)

Lion: Roar! I'm going to eat you all up, one by one! Roar!

Toto: All of us?

Lion: Oh, er, yes. Roar!!

Toto: That's a very intimidating roar you have there.

Lion: Oh, thank you, that's very nice of you to say. Do you really think so?

Dorothy: Oh, yes, absolutely.

Scarecrow: Scariest roar I ever heard.

Tin Man: I peed in my pants! (Enthusiastically. They all turn and look at him and then at his legs) It was scary. (As if explaining)

Lion: Good to know, good to know. Okay, line up, all of you. (They line up nervously. The blue dot joins them as well. Lion struts in front of them like a sergeant major. The blue dot as well) You're a mangy looking lot, all of you. ( They check their clothes to look for dirt and holes) But I suppose you'll have to do. Do you have any last requests?

Dorothy: I do.

Lion: You do, eh? Well, what have you to say for yourself?

Dorothy: We are on a mission of the utmost importance. You see, I need to get home.

Tin Man: And I need a heart.

Scarecrow: And I need some brains.

Lion: And?

Dorothy: Well, we're off to see the wizard.

Toto: The wonderful wizard of Odd.

Tin Man: We hear he is a wiz of a wiz

Lion: Well, good luck with that, cause I think he's an old sod.

Dorothy: Why do you say that?

Lion: Because I've been there. To that place. Went there to ask that wiz of a wiz of a wiz of a …...never mind, well anyway, I went ask him for something very important. Anyway the long and short of it is that they wouldn't let me in to see him. Didn't get past the gates. I've been wandering through this forest ever since.

Tin Man: But why wouldn't they let you in?

Lion: I don't know. But they shouted at me to leave....and I (mumbles) ran away.

Toto: You what?

Lion: Nothing. Nothing. Honestly, I think it's better if I just eat you all up now and save you the trouble. (slumps)

All: No! Dorothy: If you come with us, I'm sure they will let you in. The Dame of the North sent me and she's connected, you know.

Lion: You gotta love that Dame.

Tin Man: Hold on, you want to take this creature who wants to eat us with us? What if he gets hungry along the way?

Lion: I could eat you now?

Tin Man: (squeaky voice) Fair enough!

Dorothy: Lion, do you promise not to eat us if you come with us?

Lion: I Promise. (Slumps) Actually, I'm a vegetarian.

All: What?

Lion: It's true. The closest I ever get to real meat is Cat food. It's so depressing.

Toto: But then what was all that back there?

Lion: It's all a show really. You see, I lost my mojo a few months ago when it came to hunting things. I started listening when they 'talked back.' It was very unnerving. You see, that's why I have to see the wizard. I just need to get my “mojo” back and I'll be a real lion once more. And then I'll eat you! Ha!

Tin Man: Great. Looking forward to it.

Lion: Just joking.

Scarecrow: Dorothy, are you sure?

Dorothy: He won't harm us now, I believe that. And he needs help just as much as we do. He needs to be a proper lion again.

Tin Man: Okay, we'll help him get there. But once he's cured....

Lion: I promise I won't eat you. Ever. Any of you. Okay?

Toto: Okay.

Tin Man: Okay.

Scarecrow: Okay.

Blue Dot: Ole! (They all look at him) Dorothy: Okay, it's decided. Lion is coming with us. We'll all go together to the Emerald city and when we're at the gates we won't take no for an answer! We'll see the wizard, I'll go home, and Tin man will get his heart back, scarecrow will get some brains and lion will get his his Mojo. Let's go!

Song 8: Finale act 1. We'll go together (from Grease)

We'll go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong remembered for ever like shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom

Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop That's the way it should be Wha oooh yeah!

We're one of a kind Like dip di-dip di-dip Doo-bop a doo-bee doo Our names are signed Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy Shoo-by doo-wop she-bop Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop

We'll always be like one Wa-wa-wa-waaa!

When we go see the wiz We will feel just like kids O're there in emerald city We will get through the gates We'll wait till very late And then we will see the wiz-i-i-i-zard!

We're for each other like A wop ba-ba lu-mop and wop bam boom Just like my brother is Sha na na na na na yip-pit-y dip de boom Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop We'll always be together Wha oooh yeah! We'll always, be together We'll always be together We'll always be together [End here or fade out] A wop ba-ba lu-mop a wop bam boom!

Dame: And so the five of them made their way to the Emerald City. They even stopped for a picnic outside the gates. But they were not alone. Someone was watching their every move, waiting for her chance to strike.....

WWW: (Walking onto stage and rubbing her hands together gleefully.) Now, what nobody knows is that I have prepared a trap - a magic bubble that covers the whole of the emerald city. If they enter my trap voluntarily, they won't be able to use magic at all, and I can get my ruby slippers back once and for al!!! Oh, yes they will all walk very nicely into my trap. Soon they will be mine, all mine, Mwahahaha!!

(Thunderclap and lightning effect. Lights down )

End of act one