® “All the Gnus Weather: State of the That Fit, We Print” The New Times atmosphere VOL. IV....No. 4 —FALL 1985— INTERFLUVIAL EDITION IS HERE! The Exciting Conclusion to the Enchanter Trilogy

In a world founded on magic, guildmaster has been turned into an sorcerers rule the land, creating the amphibian! All, that is, but your- spells needed to do everything from self... and a shadowy cloaked figure making bread to taming wild who slips quietly out the door. animals. Your position as a leader of Thus begins Spellbreaker, the the Circle of Enchanters has earned riveting conclusion to 's you respect from all others in the Enchanter series (including En- kingdom. chanter and Sorcerer™) and the final But now a crisis has fallen. Magic chapter in the story of a magician's itself seems to be failing. Spells go rise from novice to mage. strangely awry or cease to work Spellbreaker was written by Dave altogether. The populace is becom- Lebling, co-author of the Zork® ing restive, and rumblings are heard concerning Enchanters. Marathon: p. 2 A great conclave is held, con- vening all the guildmasters in the trilogy and Enchanter and author of A Frobozz Magic Magic Equipment Catalog, an Enchanter’s Guild pin, and land. One by one, they step forward, Starcross® and Suspect™. According six Enchanter trading cards are included in every Spellbreaker package. describing the devastating effects of to Lebling, "You don't have to have the diminished magic. Beer tastes played the other games in our fantasy such as allowing you to add some will find their skills tested by the like bathwater, pastries are thick series in order to enjoy this one, words to the already large vocabu- most challenging puzzles ever and greasy, huntsmen are unable to although that makes it more fun. lary. concocted by Infocom. control wild beasts. People who have played Enchanter Although Spellbreaker is an Each Spellbreaker package Suddenly, in the midst of a and Sorcerer will find familiar expert-level game, it's very non- includes a copy of the Frobozz discourse on the difficulty of writing moments, and lots of things you linear, giving you plenty of geogra- Magic Magic Equipment Catalog poetry without magical help on the found in the Zork series are in here." phy and paraphernalia to enjoy (Special Crisis Edition), a mystical rhymes, the Guildmaster of the Poets There are more characters than in without having to actually solve all Enchanter's Guild pin, and a set of undergoes a bizarre transformation. Enchanter and Sorcerer, each with a the puzzles. Less-experienced Enchanter trading cards. It will retail Looking in shock around the room, distinct personality. Spellbreaker players can still have fun exploring for $49.95 for most systems. you find that each and every also contains technical innovations, the environment, while crackerjacks

greedy wizard Malifestro. The book children." (Don't panic yet ... is vaguely interactive in the sense Infocom has a smaller following than Zork Banned! that the reader is given options which Jim Jones, the Hari Krishnas, or will affect the outcome of the Reverend Moon! O.K., scratch As we sit in Steve's office planning off the phone in a huff. I understand. story — it's a "pick-a-path" book. As Reverend Moon, but definitely the fate of Europe for the next few We have decisions to make. Wars to with , the reader (player?) runs smaller than either of the other two.) years, Steve and I have little concern fight. Countries to conquer. the risk of having his or her throat When asked to comment on the about developments in the New Diplomacy® is a time-consuming cut with a stiletto. What Ms. Leary proposed ban, Meretzky said that at World, especially not about business. It was a good thing it missed is that just like the games, least Leary, who calls herself a grumblings in a small town on a wasn't my boss on the phone. I have you can restart the book and come up "kamikaze for Jesus," is not so skimpy piece of land on something no business in Meretzky's office! with a better decision on your second fanatical about removing Darwin called "The Cape." Just as I convince When the May 16th issue of The pass. from the schools. Leary, in Steve to not invade Belgium in Register (a small newspaper serving In the words of The Register, "She kamikaze-like fashion, said, "I will exchange for some foggy city in a few towns on Cape Cop) landed on sees the relationship between fight this book with my dying England, the phone rings. Steve my desk, I learned who the disgrun- violence in the book and violence breath." Meretzky is quick to deny answers the phone. Some disgruntled tled customer was. Jan Leary was, in coming from kids as fact, not just a the rumor that upon uttering these person is calling from the New fact, not a customer at all. She was a possibility." Her son had purchased words, Leary was enveloped in a World, the Cape specifically (a town parent who was very concerned the book at a school fair; Leary has cloud of sinister black fog... Leary, called South Dennis), and temporar- about the subject matter of a book by since approached the school to ban however, mysteriously couldn't be ily ensnares Steve in an argument. I Steve called Zork: The Malifestro the book from its library and future reached for comment. (She probably note that Steve seems disturbed by Quest. The book, loosely based on fairs, purporting that "such reading has since discovered Zork I and is what sounds like a complaining the Zork empire, has two heroes promotes demonic worship and having trouble getting into the customer wasting his time. He gets trying to save the empire from the glorifies violence for school house!) PAGE 2 THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985

socket. >ASK MONICA ABOUT LOVE Call the Exterminator Floyd was so eager to please that "That's between Mother and me." he would get the shiny fromitz board for you over and over and over.... Even with our intensive testing, water jug filled. As long as you have If you thought you had escaped the Infidel some bugs manage to slip through some water in it, you can refill it to mutants and pressed the elevator Remember the famous container our Quality Control Department. In the brim by saying TAKE WATER, button at the bottom of the shaft, you bug from Zork I? Well, it's in Infidel. past issues of the NZT we listed no matter where you are. That's a were probably surprised when the Try putting the knapsack in the silver some of those bugs for the Zork pretty neat variation on the decanter elevator door closed just as the chalice and vice-versa. They both series, Starcross, Deadline®, of endless water. mutants were about to reach it. disappear. This bug will not be in Sorcerer, Infidel®, and ®. (Mutants are almost as ubiquitous as any future Infocom games (or so our We received a tremendous response grues ... or bugs.) Sorcerer testing department promises). from our NZT readers, who reported For you magicians, if you want to If you put the beam in the niches bugs that they had found. Here are finish the game with all the points, and then go back to the barge and some more embarrassing (and some- ® don't open the chest with the rezrov The Witness say GET BEAM, you fall into a pit times hilarious) bugs from our spell. You won't get the 15 points For those of you who like to drink, of rats (oops). Those pesty rat pits releases, as reported by our outside you should get if you had opened it you can GET A DRINK anywhere, seem to be everywhere. bug hunters. the mundane way. including outside the house. For the mathematically inclined, Note of warning: if you haven't In earlier versions, gaspar didn't An old bug that was fixed were try calculating the weight of the finished one of the games below, you work properly in the Coal Mine. places and objects you could get into beam assuming a density equal to might not want to read the associated Also, you could re-create any scroll but could not get back out of. If you that of water. (See the end of the paragraphs. by typing TAKE THE AIMFIZ got into the shower or the broken article for the answer, Hercules.)

SCROLL (for example). These bugs window and then tried to get out, the For Wendy's fans, you can ask the Enchanter have been fixed. program just told you that you would question: WHERE'S THE BEEF? If If you send the turtle into the For those careless few who got do better to stand up (thinking you you're lucky, you'll get the response temple, the game acts as if you had their spell books wet (a definite were in the wooden chair). "It's right here!" Take that, competi- gone in instead, and you end up no-no with gnusto-sensitive paper), Here's an interesting series of tors! dying. The ASPCA must have did you notice that the scrolls that responses: Here's an embarrassing contradic- slipped that one in the game to give got wet weren't ruined? If we can tory description. With the water in some protection to turtles. track down the formula for that batch >MAKE LOVE TO MONICA the silver chalice type: FILL If you guncho the magic rope that of scroll paper, we could make a SILVER CHALICE WITH WATER. protects the jewelled box, the rope fortune in the spell book market. (Sorry, but English is my second The response is "The silver chalice is disappears and the box opens. language. Please rephrase that.) filled with water; the silver chalice However, the box is empty, and if Planetfall is now empty." A little like tea and >ASK MONICA TO MAKE LOVE you LOOK, you can still see the box Most of the reported bugs have no tea. coiled by the rope. How's that for an been fixed in the latest version. (Your request was incomplete. Stay tuned for more bugs in future optical illusion? Here's a sample of some of the Next time, say what you want NZTs. If you find any bugs, remem- If you move the lighted portrait in bugs for those of you with earlier Monica to make the love from.) ber to call the exterminator. the gallery, then LOOK, the portrait releases. >MAKE LOVE FROM MONICA [Answer to the weight of beam has disappeared in the blink of an If you got the fused bedistor and problem: A beam 10 feet long and 12 eye. then dropped it anywhere, you would "Eat, drink, and make merry, for inches in diameter is about 500 The last Enchanter bug we'll have trouble getting it again because tomorrow we shall die!" pounds.] mention has to do with keeping your it thought it was still fused to its

Spellbreaker Marathon: The New Zork® Times Wellesley Wins the First Annual Marathon of the Minds

The Boston Museum of Science, teams were allowed three hints each Writers Gary Brennan, Michael Dornbrook, along with Infocom, sponsored the in order to be able to finish the Jennifer Fine, Stuart Galley, Paul Gross, First Annual Marathon of the Mind expert-level game before having to at ComputerPlace (part of the Boston return to classes on Monday. Elizabeth Langosy, Steven Meretzky, Museum of Science). This event, Winners of the contest were Sherene Jeff O’Neill, Jonathan Palace organized by Sue Kur of Computer- Aram and Robbin Evans of the Production Cynthia Curtis, Jonathan Palace, Place and Spencer Steere of Wellesley #1 team, the only team to Infocom, was a race between college finish. Only one other team came Michelle Simpson teams to finish Spellbreaker — close to finishing, but they made a Special thanks to Alice, Barry, Brian, Dan, Donna, Ellen, Infocom's latest — fatal mistake near the end and had to Jen, Joanne, Ken, Lori, Nancy, Paula, before it finished them. Included drop out. At the very end, all the Phil, and Tom were teams from Wellesley, Boston other teams quit playing to watch the University, University of Massachu- winning team solve the climactic © 1985 Infocom, Inc., 125 CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge, MA 02140 setts at Boston, MIT, Boston final scene. The winners received a Zork, Enchanter, Deadline, The Witness, Starcross, Suspended, Planetfall, Infidel, and are College, and Harvard. The contest free Infocom game of their choice registered trademarks of Infocom, Inc. , Sorcerer, Spellbreaker, Suspect, A Mind Forever started at 8:00 p.m. on Saturday, and a free party to be thrown at Voyaging, Cutthroats, Fooblitzky, , Tales of Adventure, Interactive Fiction Plus, and Invisi- Clues are trademarks of Infocom, Inc. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a trademark of September 14th, and lasted 20 hours, ComputerPlace. . Diplomacy is a registered trademark of Avalon Hill, copyright 1976. straight throughout the night. The FALL 1985 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE 3 Mail Bag

Dear Zork Control (if there is So with the Wizard am more than any), even. At first, Zork brought our family Maze and puzzle room did not together for many happy hours of hinder, brainstorming. However, Zork II and Einstein and Oppenheimer were as Zork III proved addictive and led to kinder [German pronunciation], excessive indulgence. My children I crossed the lake and got the key, fled to college to escape incessant I've a score of seven from dear demands for solutions from a game- Zork III, playing mom. My husband went But try as I might in every year, lonely to bed night after night... But The crown jewels still have naught at least when he "worked late" he to fear. knew where I was... Twice I've been down to the After everyone left, I took to Dungeon Master, accosting different types of strange And sent back, not wiser, even men in lonely bars hoping to find faster. another Zork addict. Unfortunately The carousel room only took a or alas! I now know all the true ad- minute, dicts are home playing Suspended® But the jewel cage STILL has or Enchanter! everything in it! The following is a sigh of frustra- So after 2½ years of being a purist, tion written during enforced with- I'm now writing to your new drawal from Zork to tackle Sorcerer: supplier of hint books. Thank you for I found the Cyclops, I solved the staying in touch so that I know dragon, where to send for them. I robbed the bank with little flaggin'. Mrs. J.A. Lordi I climbed the falls and found the Ocala, FL treasure. I floated the balloon with greatest Please send letters to: NZT, 125 pleasure. CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge, I gathered the spheres and MA 02140 summoned the demon, Top fashion model Robert McCarron in a rare candid shot, sporting the programs, resulting in longer, more babel fish T-shirt. McCarron’s only comment: “This is a small?” They Said It... complicated stories and more sophis- ticated user interfaces. The first story developed in Interactive Fiction Plus: Take Off Your Shirt The Boston Phoenix, published in 's A Mind Forever neighboring Beantown, featured Voyaging™, in which you journey And put on an Infocom “I GOT THE with the same bright lettering as the Infocom in its September 24 High into the future in the role of the BABEL FISH” T-shirt! Over 600 front of your Hitchhiker’s game Tech section. Said the Phoenix, world's first sentient computer. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy™ package. There’s a size to fit every- "These games do strange things to Another key to Infocom's success fans are already sporting these one (S, M, L, or XL), and they’re your perception. When you turn off is our network of dedicated fans, distinctive shirts! If you’re the only only $7.95. So what are you waiting your computer and go out into the which extends around the globe! bloke on the block without one, for? Just send in the order form street, it's difficult to remember that We've got an especially large don’t panic. Babel fish T-shirts are below or call our toll-free number you're no longer traversing an imagi- number of them in England, and still available. (800-262-6868) and an Infocom nary world. This kind of obsession, that's why the British Broadcasting They’re made of 100% cotton, in babel fish T-shirt will be yours!

which can afflict you even if you've Corporation came to Cambridge to fashionable go-with-anything black, never touched a computer before, is do a special program on Infocom. " to key to the astounding success of The BBC spent a day wandering the the Cambridge-based firm Infocom halls, speaking with a variety of and its long line of interactive fiction Infopeople, and even sitting in on an Please send me ______T-shirts(s). Enclosed is a check or money software." But we don't have to tell Implementors' Lunch (a legendary order (no cash please!) for $7.95 per T-shirt. you that. weekly event garnering all the Another key to Infocom's success Infocom game writers). The resulting _____ S _____ M _____ L _____ XL is the advanced technology used to program, which will air in create our interactive novels. A November, profiles the company, Name: ______recent article in Publisher's Weekly focusing on the development of focused on Interactive Fiction Plus™, Spellbreaker. Address: ______the latest addition to our unique Last but not least, this quote from ______development system. Interactive Analog Computing: "Achieving Fiction Plus allows Infocom game the impossible is an Infocom ex- Send to: T-Shirts, Infocom, 125 CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge, designers to double the size of their clusive." MA 02140. PAGE 4 THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985 Infocom Beats Spinnaker in Softball Championship Infocom adds yet another trophy to players pumped keyboards for days, its case: the "Floppy Cup" of the and went on to defeat Spinnaker in Software Softball Eastern Division. the next 2 games, 18 to 8 and 14 to 8. Spinnaker defeated Infocom 12 to 5 Coach Dave "Hollywood" Anderson in the first of the best-of-3 series. was last seen celebrating in a (Infocom hoped for a rally in the Chinese restaurant, wearing a grass ninth, but the game was suspended skirt and giving mouth-to-mouth by police action.) But Infocom resuscitation to a tiki bowl.

Danielle DeNicolo, trying to hid (unsuccessfully) behind her in-box. “When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.”

Paul “Catfish” DiLascia, a terror on the mound, a terror at bat, a terror no matter where you meet him. Future ambition: To marry Donna Summer.

Barry Star, before the operation to remove an unusual growth on his trophy. >Burn Records With Torch No, we didn't have a fire, but some Chinese-puzzle type stone which of our records were inadvertently housed a parchment scroll, and a destroyed. Our biggest loss was the black pearl (which his brother had outlandish but true stories sent in by told him was Zork's 20th treasure)! hundreds of you wild-and-crazy adventurers. Some of the more Do these stories sound familiar? notable ones include an entire town Do you have similar stories of your in Tennessee where Infocom games own to tell? Please write to us! We're are a community obsession. One anxious to recover as many of these womam wrote asking for customized gems as possible, and we're always T-shirts for the whole population, so interested in new "Infocom True citizens could check off the games Tales of Adventure." You could be they'd completed, and display it quoted in The New Zork Times, or proudly on their backs. Another fan interviewed by a nationally-known sent pictures showing the elaborate reporter. Remember, what we're after trick he played on his brother for is true tales; fiction writers need not giving him a misleading Zork I hint. apply. “Max” Buxton, a dangerous Infotester. “Don’t put one foot in your job and His scheme included a large the other in your dreams.” Future ambition: To live in his dreams. FALL 1985 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE 5

Ken Story, “the gentleman of the basketball court” (said with sarcasm). Ken Feehan, Chris Gugger, and Ellen Neavitt. Despite their ruthless appearance, they are friendly and harmless unless they’re driving.

Mike Dornbrook, the man who single-handedly started and ran The New Zork Times. It’s his fault you’re reading this caption instead of doing something Dave “Hollywood” Anderson (right), acting as host at a “What’s My Line” constructive. contest. The guest, “Ms. X,” went home with Gary Brennan, seen hiding in the rear. resulting in a 105-page white paper Gnu News that is now required reading for all staff writers. Sirs, But even this is not enough. Many people say that yaks have no Disgruntled readers demand that the sense of humor. This is untrue. Yaks sins of the past be rectified. have a highly sophisticated sense of (Gruntled readers demand nothing, humor, as the yak joke below proves. as usual.) So, in the spirit of equal Gnus have no sense of humor. treatment for all bovine species, The New Zork Times now begins a series Grunt. Grunt grunt grunt. Sniff! of public-service messages designed (Paw, paw, paw.) to enlighten its readership on the Grunt? (pause) Grunt sniff! subject of gnus. Did you know... Signed, YAK X ? that the gnu is an African This letter from a disgruntled antelope, bulky but compact? reader has prompted The New Zork ? that "gnu" comes from the Times editorial staff to launch a Bushman word "nqu"? serious investigation of its own ? that Dutch settlers in Africa called Linda “Tex” Avery, trying to guess the identity of “Ms. X.” The cup in front of attitudes and prejudices toward yaks, the gnu a "wildebeest"? her is full of fruit juice. Honest. PAGE 6 THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985

plus blatantly self-serving propa- Cornerstone™ Receives Mac Sampler ganda. It costs just $7.95 and Rave Reviews includes a coupon for $8.00 off your The world-famous Infocom Sampler next Infocom purchase. And it has a The reviews are just beginning to managing task." will be available for the money-back guarantee: Infocom will come in for Cornerstone and it in November! The Sampler (already refund your money even if you don't —Joel C. Don, appears that we have another smash available for the IBM, Apple, Atari, buy another Infocom product. The Popular Computing, June, 1985 hit. and Commodore) has excerpts from Sampler is virtually a "no-lose" "The cover of darkness surround- Zork I, Infidel, Planetfall, and The bargain. If you haven't already "Cornerstone is the best program I ing database programs is partly Witness; and it includes a tutorial bought one, you should! have ever used. I found no flaws. It because they are so difficult to runs smoothly, is simple to set up, handle.... But a new program, easy to learn, forgives mistakes.... Cornerstone, may well change the Anticipation of the user's needs popular notions about database and ease of use make Cornerstone a software. Billed as the sophisticated gem.... database system for the non- Goes to the Library Plain English is used throughout, programmer, its contribution to the making a review difficult because popularization of databases is its you needn't be told that to print a flexibility." Midtown Manhattan. It's raining so And so nearly 100 press personnel Cornerstone report you need only —Erik Sandberg-Diment, hard, the island should be under- braved the heat and the rain to attend choose 'PRINT'. In other words, the The New Zork Times, May 12, water; except it's so hot, the rain Infocom's press conference for A program is so easy to use, explaining 1985 sizzles on the sidewalk and Mind Forever Voyaging. The confer- its use is almost redundant. If you disappears. A vendor under a ence began with a dramatic reading need a relational database, buy Many large corporations are Sabrett's umbrella opens a new by silken-voiced Stu Galley, author Cornerstone." evaluating Cornerstone for their package of hot dogs, which are of The Witness and co-author of internal needs. The initial feedback steamed instantaneously. "Kraut?" Seastalker®. The audience was then —Kerry Leichtman, from them has been extremely PC Week, May 7, 1985 he asks, and without waiting for an subjected to nearly 30 minutes of positive. answer smothers the bun and the blatantly self-serving propaganda by "Cornerstone successfully com- "Enclosed is a copy of the report napkin with yellowish-brown Infocom President Joel Berez, bines power and ease of use in one sent to the Vatican and the Apostolic substance. You give the vendor a Manager of Product Development program.... I'm sold on Cornerstone. Nuncio about three weeks ago. You bill — this morning it was crisp, but Jonathan Palace, and Product Without any programming, the will note that Cornerstone — even in this suffocating moistness it's as Manager Michael Dornbrook. (It information I need is at my finger- there — was the preferred relational limp as the cabbage — and hurry was, by the way, the first time Berez tips. Cornerstone operates the way database manager and has so been toward the library. had been seen in public since eating most business people think. And it is recommended. I have had no written The two lions standing sentry 71 chocolate donuts and a package so well designed that no extensive reply as yet — but one phone call outside the New York Public of Twinkies during a midnight binge training is necessary.... The program (from Fr. Goffney) asking how it Library, on 5th Avenue at 42nd in June.) exceeds the user-friendliness of PFS: compared to dBASE III. You need Street, seem particularly lonely in And, of course, Steve Meretzky FILE and offers the power of a not feel slighted in the comparison. this downpour; a couple of croco- spoke. Tall, shamblin' Steve, author programmable database manager. Evidently the University has just diles would look more at home. You of A Mind Forever Voyaging, honest Cornerstone could easily save acquired a copy of dBASE III for push your way into the marbled yet modest, talking with the charm- months of dBASE II or dBASE III evaluation. Frankly, it is my lobby of the library and shake ing drawl that comes from growing programming. If you don't want to judgment that there IS no compari- yourself off. It's drier inside, but no up in Yonkers. He spoke of "pushing program, but need all these capabili- son, none worth the name. I have a cooler. You ask a guard where the back the envelope," not just techno- ties and the ability to relate multiple copy of Microrim's Clout, and again, Trustees' Room is, and he directs logically with Interactive Fiction files in your database applications, there's no real comparison. I have you to the third floor. You climb the Plus, but also creatively with a you want Cornerstone." played with Ability, Framework, stone steps and pull open a huge NON-puzzle-oriented story. More —Ira H. Krakow, Lotus, Jazz, Symphony. I find all of wooden door, so massive and than anything else, the audience was Business Computer Systems, June them lacking. Too much that does intricately carved that you stop to left with the impression that interac- 1985 too little too rarely for too much admire it. You enter the Trustees' tive fiction can be more, much more, cost. Room, feel the coolness, and close than puzzles. "The terms 'powerful' and 'easy to Cornerstone is the first software the door behind you. You leave the Trustees' Room — use' are pressed into service describ- I've found that I've been willing to Someone offers you some tea. where does Infocom find these ing software so often that they're in recommend for a price over $150. Tea? In this weather? Yet the air places? — and journey homeward. danger of losing their punch. It's the first I've seen that's worth it. here is bearable — comfortable, You stay up half the night asking Cornerstone, a relational database Frankly, it's the best thing I've seen even — and the room exudes yourself questions. How did interac- for the IBM PC, breathes new yet, and I have already respectability and elegance. Persian tive fiction evolve from Zork into A meaning into these two overworked recommended it as a standard item tapestries adorn the oak-panelled Mind Forever Voyaging? If inter- adjectives and is one of the few of purchase to both the American walls, and the massive marble fire- active fiction can do this, then what programs that deserve both.... Cor- bishops and to the Vatican. The place (significantly larger than your else can it do? What will Infocom do nerstone is a newcomer, but its report of which I sent you a first apartment) seems as natural as next? What will interactive fiction be extensive menu structure, copious duplicate printout went directly to the brass-and-crystal chandelier, the like 5, or 10, or 50 years from now? and innovative on-line help, and Rome via Apostolic Nuncio's busts of Greek poets, and the Louis Infocom also journeys homeward, to relational power make it worthy of diplomatic pouch, destined to land XIV tables. And it IS teatime. Cambridge, glad that others are serious consideration by businesses directly on the Pope's desk." Cream, please; no sugar. Scones? asking the same questions it asks looking for a simple way to handle Help yourself. You hope your breath itself every day. —Reverend H.R. Stockert, almost any kind of information doesn't smell like sauerkraut. KtB, KH, KCR, OAE. FALL 1985 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE 7 Winners of NZT Puzzle #6

Since there were fewer correct 9. William Perez answers than our maximum number San Jose, CA of prizes, no drawing was necessary 10. James Marcolesco this time around, and everyone who Villa Park, CA sent in a correct answer gets a 11. Martha McGhee-Glisson T-shirt. Now, regarding this month's Atlanta, GA winners — I don't go out of my way 12. Tom Betz to make fun of our most loyal Fairbanks, AK customers, but some of these names 13. Matt Wilhoit are pretty weird. And four Brians is Charleston, WV very suspicious. Anyway, here's the 14. Noemi Mower list of puzzle wizards: Salt Lake City, UT 15. Steve Rutter Seekonk, MA 1. Barry J. Kriha 16. Bruce Bock Gibbon, NE Dixon, CA 2. Brian Roark 17. Travis Mott Cartoon Winner Salem, VA Big Rapids, MI 3. James Kellogg 18. Charles Engebretson Patrick S. Campbell of Hamilton, tions will be considered) on white Colorado Springs, CO Santa Rita, CA Ohio, wins our cartoon contest this unlined paper. Do not fold your 4. Brian Burns 19. Paul Brunner issue. We'll be sending him an Atari entries! All submissions become the Houston, TX Philadelphia, PA version of Wishbringer™, as he property of Infocom, Inc. Send your 5. Michael Marcus 20. Rick Glisson requested. cartoons to: NZT Cartoons, Infocom, Boca Raton, FL Atlanta, GA Send us your cartoons. All Inc., 125 CambridgePark Drive, 6. Brian Allen 21. Brace E. Stout cartoons will be printed approxi- Cambridge, MA 02140. Don't forget Ypsilanti, MI Fort Wayne, IN mately 4¼ inches wide by 5 inches to include a separate sheet that tells 7. Brian Bonner 22. Chris Richard deep, so please draw your cartoons us who you are, what game you wish College, PA Iowa City, IA proportionally. Entries must be in to win, your computer system, and 8. Ed Clayton 23. Housty Jayne black ink (no pencil or color illustra- where you live. Asheboro, NC New Canaan, CT

thoroughly in keeping with Lebling's Man Bites Man in personality). Lebling's clever attempt ERRATUM to confuse his opponents (by discard- FOOBLITZKY TOURNAMENT ing a correct item) backfired when it Due to incredibly complex but totally baffled his partner (who, boring circumstances, portions of "A In a stunning upset victory, Busi- more times and losing more times judges point out, was born baffled). History of Zork" in our last issue ness Product Development defeated than anyone else in the universe. "I thought we had it won," said were printed out of order. We Consumer Product Development in "My notes are great." Spectators Lebling, "until I saw the look on apologize for the inconvenience. the first-round match of a disagreed, saying that they had seen Palace's face." The following hints will help you Fooblitzky™ Tournament at Infocom. traffic accidents neater than Palace's The Business Product Develop- find the correct order. Warning: If "I'm terrible at record keeping," notes. ment team advances, if it can be you want to solve the puzzle on your admitted winning player Brian Berkowitz's partner, Tim own, don't read any further! Berkowitz, one of the masterminds Anderson, was later voted MLP "Fooblitzky brings out the A. After reading "'Come here, Mr. behind Infocom's sophisticated (Most Lucky Player) by a small weirdness in people." Watson; I want you!'", start reading database, Cornerstone. Indeed, a panel of New Zork Times editors. In from "Mike Dornbrook was enlisted post-game autopsy of Berkowitz's an unusual move, the panel also to test. ..." work-sheet showed squiggly lines voted Anderson MUP (Most called that, in the Tournament, and is and arrows, several question marks, Unlucky Player). "Fooblitzky brings next slated to play a team from B. After reading "Mail Bag," start some simple arithmetic, a tuna salad out the weirdness in people," noted "Creative Marketing": Elizabeth reading from "We had another recipe, a favorite Berkowitz quote Anderson wryly. Langosy from Creative Services and product. ..." ("Nothing ventured, nothing lost") Ironically, it was Palace's someone (to be determined) from C. After reading "Sorcerer," start and little else. teammate, , who Marketing. Marketing did not enter a reading from "Zork II was "I can't believe it," said a seemed in control most of the game. team of its own in the Tournament offered. ..." dumbfounded Jonathan Palace, who, He claimed to be the first player to because potential player Susan Sobel in the process of losing big, also set know all 4 correct items (a claim said she "would rather give birth" D. Whenever the story mentions the record for playing Fooblitzky impossible to substantiate but than play Fooblitzky. "yaks," think "gnus" instead. PAGE 8 THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985

NEW ZORK TIMES PUZZLE NUMBER 8

A) You are drunk. On the left are 12 responses from our games. They occur B) You're going to start sloshing around soon. when you try the wacky and unusual. Figure out which game C) He smiles. "Money is our most important product." D) You receive a painful electric shock. the response comes from (they match exactly) and put the E) Weird! The candle remains lit even as it disappears beneath the corresponding game number in the appropriate blank. Then surface of the river. multiply the numbers across and add the products for the F) What a detective! "Quick! Arrest that file drawer before it escapes!" answer. (Having the hint booklets and trying the "have you G.) I'd recommend a good doctor, but we need the eggs. tried" sections isn't necessary, but it will certainly help.) H) He dodges, insisting that this is incorrect procedure. I) There is no high from sniffing this powder. J) You twist your head to look under the four-poster bed but find nothing. ANSWER: ______K) You'll have to lead, you can be sure of that. Name: ______L) "Why" Address: ______Zork I 1 ______Zork II 2 Zork III 3 ______x ______x ______= ______T-Shirt Size (S, M, L, XL): ______Enchanter 4 A B C CONTEST RULES: Sorcerer 5 + Wishbringer 6 1. All entries must be submitted on this form. No copies accepted. Deadline 7 ______x ______x ______= ______Witness 8 D E F 2. All entries must be received by February 1, 1986. Suspect 9 + 3. Up to 25 prizes will be awarded. If more than 25 correct answers Starcross 10 are received, a drawing will be held to determine the winners. Suspended 11 ______x ______x ______= ______Void where prohibited by law. Planetfall 12 G H I Hitchhiker's 13 + Infidel 14 PRIZE: Seastalker 15 ______x ______x ______= ______A New Zork Times Puzzle Winner T-Shirt Cutthroats 16 J K L RETURN TO: Infocom = NZT Puzzle 125 CambridgePark Drive ANSWER ______Cambridge, MA 02140

Solution to 2. "Going up empty-handed is a with a resounding thud." (first 127 (55.9%) got only one right, and bad idea." (CLIMB THE fake) 77 (33.9%) had neither number Puzzle Number Six CHIMNEY in Studio holding 9. "The rainbow seems to have correct. The breakdown by response nothing) become somewhat run-of-the- number is also interesting (note that 3. "The leaves burn, and so do mill." (WAVE THE SCEPTRE the total adds up to twice the number you." (BURN THE LEAVES a second time, while not on the of entries, since each entry included I sure am a lousy judge of puzzle while holding them) rainbow) two response numbers): difficulty. Although I expected 4. "You feel a faint tingling 10. "The cyclops spreads a check- Puzzle #5 to be hard, there were still transmitted through the ered tablecloth on the ground." Response Appear- Per- 70 correct answers. I thought that sword." (TOUCH THE MIR- (second fake) # ances centage Puzzle #6 was much easier, and yet ROR WITH THE SWORD) 11. "You need no light to guide 1 73 32.2% there were only 23 correct answers! 5. "I'm afraid you have done you." (TURN ON THE LAMP 2 11 4.8% 3 10 4.4% In Puzzle #6, you were given 13 drowned yourself." (WAIT in as a spirit) 4 32 14.1% responses, allegedly from Zork I, and the Maintenance Room until it 12. "Some paint chips away, 5 27 14.1% told to pick the two fake responses fills with water) revealing more paint." 6 19 8.4% that don't actually appear in the 6. "The thief says nothing, as you (DESTROY THE PAINT in 7 4 1.8% game. The correct answer was 8 and have not been formally intro- the Studio) 8 59 26.0% 10. Here's a list of all 13 responses duced." (LISTEN TO THE 13. "The hole collapses, smother- 9 11 4.8% and where they appear in Infocom's THIEF) ing you." (DIG THE 10 114 50.2% first work of interactive fiction: 7. "The book is already open to GROUND WITH THE 11 49 21.6% page 569." (OPEN THE SHOVEL in the Sandy Cave a 12 27 11.9% 13 18 7.9% 1. "The pines and the hemlocks BLACK BOOK) fourth time) seem to be murmuring." 8. "You pry the door open a There were 227 entries, of which (LISTEN TO THE FOREST) crack, but then it snaps back 23 (10.1%) got both numbers right, Winners: p. 7