THE WIDE WORLD of POOP A weekly magazine of news, rumors and observances from around the Conch League.

October 4, 2003 Conch911’s PICKS Two New Stadiums This 2003 Year OVER ALL 31 - 40 - .437 Hello apostate sports fans. Boy, did I THIS YEAR 7 - 9 - .438 take a beating last week. I only had LAST WEEK 1 - 3 - .250 one winner. I will see if I can do better this week. Check out my picks. WEEK 5 PICKS

There are at least two new stadiums this year. First is Soldier Field has been updated. It got a face lift. And then the Bears got Kardell Steward. PIT BULLS ON CRACK Second, Philadelphia built a brand vs new Vet. Same routy fan who are watching the same team that went to SIX PACK ATTACK play offs last year, witch is pissing them off. Then the Eagles got Rush Lamball. It seems there is a bit of Conch911 picks to win: bad luck that comes with a new stadium. I hope these teams can do PIT BULLS ON CRACK better. I think that the Conch League needs a new stadium. I'm in for ten dollars. Now all we need is $54,999,990. RUM RUNNERS This week's football food is vs chiliconcarne over rice. Good luck until next week. DIAMOND SHARKS

Conch911 Conch911 picks to win: RUM RUNNERS

G's Week #5 Predictions JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS and Breakdowns vs Last Week 3-1 (75%) Overall 11-5 (69%) GGO

Another good week of picking. Although it could have easily been 2- Conch911 picks to win: 2 if Peyton Manning hadn't thrown 9 touchdowns in the Sunday night JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS game. Diamond Sharks had a strong performance with the weeks high of 66. Good job! GGO was in the running for the low score of the week G's DOLPHINS if it wasn't for Ahman Green's strong Monday night performance against vs Chicago in new Soldier Field. HOT PEPPERS Here are the week 5 picks:

Six Pack over Pit Bulls on Crack Conch911 picks to win: Diamond Sharks over Rum Runners G's DOLPHINS GGO over Jail House Rockers G's Dolphins over Hot Peppers

Here's Why:

Six Pack vs. Pit Bulls on Crack

Hey Pit Bulls, where's your running LIFE TIME RECORDS backs? Moe Williams and Jerome Bettis? Expect very little from these GGO 12 6 0.667 HULA HIPS 19 11 0.633 guys. I mean seriously, a backup and LIGHTINING BOLTS 34 22 0.607 a guy splitting time in Minnesota. IRON CITY TITANS 25 17 0.595 JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS 76 52 Now Stephen Davis, that's a good 0.594 start. He'll be the top RB this week. LEPRECHAUNS 8 6 0.571 Moss will have another good game, 6 PACK ATTACK 41 33 0.554 KIL'ER KOWBOYS 23 19 0.548 regardless of who's throwing to him. FRANKENSTEIN 24 20 0.545 RUM RUNNERS 62 52 0.544 ROB'S RAIDERS 15 13 0.536 Diamond Sharks vs. Rum Runners PIT BULLS ON CRACK 76 68 0.528 HOT PEPPERS 89 81 0.524 Rum Runners is hurting at RB and DIAMOND SHARKS 2 2 0.500 WR. Is the Edge even gonna play G's DOLPHINS 2 2 0.500 MYSTERY MAN 40 42 0.488 this week? It doesn't matter cause SPEED DEMONS 38 44 0.463 Tampa Bay will shut down who ever KNUCKLEHEADS 36 46 0.439 KUKERHEADS 7 9 0.438 is carrying the ball in Indy. Expect CB EXPRESS 12 16 0.429 very little from Toomer and Coles. PROCRASTINATORS 11 17 0.393 Both going against good defenses TR TERRORS 10 18 0.357 BOMBERS 5 9 0.357 this week. Diamond Sharks has BUNS UP KNEELIN' 5 9 0.357 extremely good matchups this week. THE SCUM 5 9 0.357 JESTERS 5 9 0.357 Could he be the high scorer again P-FUNK ALLSTARS 14 28 0.333 this week? We'll see. LULA BELLS 4 10 0.286 SMEGMA'S 4 12 0.250 MOMMA'S BOYS 3 11 0.214 GGO vs. Jail House Rockers PHLASH 2 12 0.143

Can Peyton Manning do it again this week? Not against Tampa Bay. I guess we will see if Indy is for real. GGO has 3 studs going this week in Priest, Gannon and Ahman Green. He will give Diamond Sharks a run CONCH TRADE CZAR for his money this week. No TE for Transaction Report George this week. Ahhhh, who Week 4 TRANSACTIONS needs 'em anyway. They only take up space and don't get any points. HOT PEPPERS Acquired WR Ashley Lelie, DEN Acquired RB Anthony Thomas, CHI G's Dolphins vs. Hot Peppers Released RB Eddie George, TEN Released Defense , BAL This was the toughest pick of the week. G's will win this one in a GGO Acquired Defense New York Giants squeeker. We will see if Frerotte can Acquired K John Kasay, CAR come up with another strong game. Acquired WR Jerry Rice, OAK Acquired WR Jimmy Smith, JAC He should, he's going against a very Released QB Jeff Garcia, SFO weak D in Atlanta. Frerotte was a Released WR Rod Gardner, WAS Released K John Carney, NOR good late pickup for the week. Let's Released Defense Cleveland Browns, see if it works out. CLE PIT BULLS ON CRACK Everyone will be routing for the No transactions this week.

Diamond Sharks this week (except JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS Adam) as they take on the Acquired WR Peerless Price, ATL undefeated Rum Runners. Diamond Acquired RB William Green, CLE Released RB Duce Staley, PHI Sharks are hot. You better watch out Released WR Marty Booker, CHI Rum Runners. RUM RUNNERS Acquired K Billy Cundiff, DAL G's Dolphins Released WR Koren Robinson, SEA G's DOLPHINS Acquired QB Gus Frerotte, MIN Acquired RB Michael Pittman, TAM Released QB Trent Green, KAN Released WR Derrick Mason, TEN DIAMOND SHARKS No transactions this week. The Waiver Wire Team SIX PACK ATTACK No transactions this week. Team Waiver Wire Week 4 Results WEEK 5 6 PACK ATTACK DIAMOND SHARKS QB - Mark Bulger (STL): 15 G's DOLPHINS JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS RB - Mike Anderson (DEN): 0 PIT BULLS ON CRACK RB - William Green (Cle): 0 RUM RUNNERS WR - Santana Moss (NYJ): 3 HOT PEPPERS GGO WR - Rod Smith (DEN): 3 TE - Jim Kleinsasser (Min): 0 K - Morten Anderson (KC): 5 D - Pittsburgh: 1 Total for week (4): 27 Season Average: 31

How does it stack up? Diamond Sharks: 66 Jail House Rockers: 55 Conch911's NFL Rating Six Pack Attack: 55 WEEK 4 Rum Runners: 48 RATED TEAM OFFENSE DEFENSE Pittsburgh 1 3 2 G’s Dolphins: 44 Steelers GGO: 30 2 San Francisco 5 3 Tampa Bay Hot Peppers: 27 3 8 1 Buccaneers Team Waiver Wire (TWW): 27 4 Denver Broncos 7 4 Pit Bulls on Crack: 20 Minnesota 5 2 10 Vikings Again not in last place. I’m not 6 Dallas Cowboys 1 13 Washington 7 4 15 saying any more! Redskins 8 15 6 Team Waiver Wire Week 5 Picks 9 St. Louis Rams 11 12 10 13 11 New England 11 17 8 QB - Jeff Garcia (SF) Patriots Kansas City RB - Eddie George (TEN) 12 9 18 Chiefs RB - Amos Zereoue (PIT) 13 Baltimore Ravens 21 7 WR - Tim Brown (OAK) Tennessee 14 25 5 WR - Rod Smith (DEN) Titans Jacksonville 15 18 16 TE - Jim Kleinsasser (MN) Jaguars K - Aaron Elling (MN) Green Bay 16 12 24 D - Minnesota (MN) Packers San Diego 17 10 27 Chargers Have fun and good luck to all this 18 Arizona Cardinals 16 21 weekend, 19 New York Giants 6 32 20 Buffalo Bills 29 9 Seattle 21 19 20 GGO Seahawks Cincinnati 22 22 17 Bengals 23 Houston Texans 14 26 New Orleans 24 20 23 Saints Cleveland 25 30 14 Browns Philadelphia 26 28 19 Eagles Carolina WEEK 4 RESULTS 27 26 22 Panthers 28 New York Jets 24 25 PIT BULLS ON DIAMOND 20 66 CRACK SHARKS 29 Oakland Raiders 23 31 SIX PACK 30 Detroit Lions 27 28 55 GGO 30 ATTACK 31 31 29 32 Chicago Bears 32 30 48 HOT PEPPERS 27 RUM RUNNERS Based on 2003 NFL regular season totals from NFL.com JAIL HOUSE 55 G's DOLPHINS 44 ROCKERS

REEF Division

RUM RUNNERS 4 0 - 1.000 G's DOLPHINS 2 2 - 0.500 DIAMOND SHARKS 2 2 - 0.500 HOT PEPPERS 1 3 - 0.250

SURF Division

GGO 2 2 - 0.500 JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS 2 2 - 0.500

SIX PACK ATTACK 2 2 - 0.500 PIT BULLS ON CRACK 1 3 - 0.250

POWER INDEX

G's DOLPHINS 51.50 RUM RUNNERS 51.25 GGO 44.00 DIAMOND SHARKS 40.00 JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS 39.75 SIX PACK ATTACK 38.50 PIT BULLS ON CRACK 37.00 HOT PEPPERS 30.25

2003 Conch League All-Star Fantasy Football Team POS PLAYER TEAM FFL OWNER TOTAL LAST LAST 3 AVERAGE QB Peyton Manning IND JAIL HOUSE ROCKERS 38 24 38 9.50 RB Priest Holmes KAN GGO 58 2 41 14.50 RB Jamal Lewis BAL G's DOLPHINS 50 10 42 12.50 WR Randy Moss MIN SIX PACK ATTACK 45 27 30 11.25 WR Marvin Harrison IND DIAMOND SHARKS 36 27 36 9.00 TE Shannon Sharpe DEN RUM RUNNERS 21 8 21 5.25 PK Mike Vanderjagt IND SIX PACK ATTACK 48 13 39 12.00 DEF Kansas City Chiefs KC DIAMOND SHARKS 37 7 32 9.25

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See y'all next time, Your Roving Conch League Pooper Scooper, Conch911