"How Can You Be a Marda If You Beat Your Wife?”

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SAFERWORLD PREVENTING VIOLENT CONFLICT. BUILDING SAFER LIVES SAFERWORLD PREVENTING VIOLENT CONFLICT. BUILDING SAFER LIVES REPORT SAFERWORLD PREVENTING VIOLENT CONFLICT. BUILDING SAFER LIVES SAFERWORLD “ HowPREVENTING VIOLENT COcanNFLICT. BUILDING you SAFER LIVES be a marda if you beat your wife?” Notions of masculinities and violence in Eastern Nepal July 2014 “ How can you be a marda if you beat your wife?” Notions of masculinities and violence in Eastern Nepal SAFERWORLD JULY 2014 Acknowledgements This report is the result of participatory learning research undertaken by Saferworld between July 2013 and April 2014. The research was conducted by a team including Julie Brethfeld, Ramesh Shrestha, Ojaswi Shah, Prawin S. Limbu and Eshita Pandey. The Society Touch in Sankhuwasabha and Youth Development Centre in Sunsari district helped to coordinate the field research. Dr. Jeevan R. Sharma provided substantial inputs for the research methodology development and carried out the literature review. The report was written by Dr. Matthew Maycock, Dr. Jeevan R. Sharma, Julie Brethfeld, Ojaswi Shah and Ramesh Shrestha. Jatinder Padda and Hannah Wright provided additional support. The report was copy-edited by John Newman and designed by Jane Stevenson. Hikmat Khadka helped with translation during the data collection in the districts and translated the report into Nepali. The project was made possible thanks to the support of the Foundation to Promote Open Society. We would like to thank Henri Myrtinnen for reviewing the report and providing valuable feedback. We would also like to thank the members of our Advisory Group – representatives from The Asia Foundation, Saathi, Youth Initiative, CWIN, Sunil B. Pant, Kyle Knight – as well as Dambar Chemjong, Danny Coyle and Ola Perczynska for their generous feedback on the research methodology, initial findings and recommendations. Equal Access provided additional support during the validation of the findings. But most importantly we would like to thank the people of Sunsari and Sankhuwasabha for hosting us and contributing to this research. Particularly, our thanks go to the boys and young men participating in the participatory learning workshops who helped us to understand what it is like to be young men in Nepal, and who shared their thoughts and experiences on often sensitive issues. When referencing this report please cite: Maycock M, Sharma J R, Brethfeld J, Shah O, Shrestha R (2014) How can you be marda if you beat your wife? Notion of masculinities and violence in Eastern Nepal (Kathmandu: Saferworld) © Saferworld, July 2014. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without full attribution. Saferworld welcomes and encourages the utilisation and dissemination of the material included in this publication. Updated 2nd edition, August 2014. Contents Map of Nepal study areas Acronyms Nepali glossary Executive summary i Key findings ii Recommendations iv 1. Introduction 1 Background and rationale 2 What are ‘masculinities’? 3 SGBV in Nepal 4 Methodology 5 Research areas 6 2. Masculinities in Eastern Nepal 8 Physical appearance of men 8 Negotiating notions of masculinities 9 Family responsibilities and masculinities 13 Masculinities, education and work 17 Migration 20 Evolving gender roles 21 Masculinity and the ‘others’ in young men’s lives 24 3. Masculinities and violence 30 Non-physical violence 30 Physical violence 36 4. Conclusion 47 Recommendations 49 ANNEX: Methodology 56 Bibliography 60 Nepal study areas Humla Darchula Bajhang Mugu Baitadi Bajura Dadeldhura Jumla Kalikot Dolpa Doti Achham Mustang Kanchanpur Dailekh Jajarkot Kailali Rukum Manang Surkhet Myagdi Gorkha Bardiya Salyan Baglung Kaski Rolpa Far-Western Region Lamjung Rasuwa rbat Pyuthan Banke Gulmi Pa Syangja Tanahu Dang Nuwaket Sindhupalchok Arghakhanchi Dolakha Palpa Dhading K Sankhuwasabha Mid-Western Region B Solukhumbu Kapilbastu Rupandehi Nawalparasi Taplejung Chitawan L Kavre Makwanpur Ramechhap Okhaldhunga r ha hum ht Western Region Parsa Sindhuli t Sindhulimadi Khotang Bhojpur c ha r Rautahat Pan Te Bara i ar Sarlahi t Dhankuta Ilam Mahot Udayapur Siraha Central Region Dhanusha Sunsari Morang Saptari Jhapa K Kathmandu Districts where research B Bhaktapur was carried out L Lalitpur Eastern Region Acronyms CIB Criminal Investigation Bureau LGBTI Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex CPN-UML Communist Party of Nepal – Unified Marxist NC Nepal Congress Leninist NP Nepal Police CSO Civil Society Organisation PLC Para-Legal Committee ESP Enabling State Programme PLR Participatory learning research FGD Focus Group Discussion PWD People With Disabilities IHRICON Institute of Human Rights Communication Nepal SGBV Sexual and Gender-Based Violence INSEC Informal Sector Service Centre SGM Sexual and Gender Minorities KII Key Informant Interview TST The Society Touch ICJ International Commission of Jurists VAW Violence Against Women NGO Non-governmental organisation VDC Village development Committee ILO International Labour Organisation WCSC Women and Children Service Centre INGO International Non-governmental Organisation YDC Youth Development Centre Nepali glossary Bahun the Nepali word for Brahmin Khukuri a type of Nepali knife Beijjet ashamed Lafanga a useless man Bikas development Lahure a term originally used to talk about men who went to work in British and Indian Armies; more recently it is also Chhakka not man enough; also used as derogatory sometimes used to talk about men who go abroad to work term for transgender people Marda man, manly Ghumne wandering Namarda a good for nothing man. This can be used in variety Hutihara a man who has not been able to achieve of contexts, including if a married man cannot have child or a anything in his life man always follows decisions made by his wife or a Himmat courage or guts man who does not show courage when needed etc. Ijjat prestige or honour Naramro kaam wrong things or work Jimmewari responsibility Purush man Jiskaune flirting Rishibi personal grudges Katar coward Terai southern plain of Nepal Executive summary SEXUAL AND GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE (SGBV) remains one of the biggest safety and security challenges in Nepal. News of SGBV – from sexual assault to accusations of witchcraft to trafficking of women and girls – has been appearing regularly over the last couple of decades. Many programmes and policies seeking to reduce and prevent SGBV focus on the needs and rights of girls and women. But at the same time there is very limited understanding regarding masculinities and whether and how they link to violence, and in particular SGBV. This report seeks to explore how people in two districts of Eastern Nepal perceived notions of masculinities; and to understand young men’s experiences and attitudes towards violence, including SGBV. Our findings show that young men feel huge pressures and frustrations negotiating their positions in society. The tension between expectation and what is achievable in the context gave rise to complicated responses in young men as they live lives in an uncertain and changing context. The research also shows that the association of violence, including SGBV, with masculinities needs to be approached with great care. Most respondents did not see violence, including SGBV, as a part of the masculinity they would aspire to. However, they did see various forms of violence as a consequence of certain situations, pressures and expectations from society, which are themselves in part created by ideas of masculinity. From this evidence base, the research recommends that key actors enable young men to build on positive characteristics associated with masculinity to contribute to a less violent society in which men, women and sexual and gender minorities (SGM) enjoy the same rights and opportunities, and in which there is space to address the fears and challenges young men are facing. Furthermore, social, political, and economic conditions need to be established that encourage non- violence and gender equality. This report presents the findings of research carried out by Saferworld in collaboration with The Society Touch and Youth Development Centre. The qualitative research was carried out in Sunsari and Sankhuwasabha districts in Eastern Nepal, using a participatory learning approach involving young men and boys aged 16–25 years, complemented by conversations with other community members, including women and girls. This approach allowed for in-depth conversations and reflections on often sensitive issues with and between the young men, who at the end of the research started to question some of their attitudes and behaviour towards women and girls. The findings are context specific and cannot be generalised across Nepal. ii “HOW CAN YOU BE A MARDA IF YOU BEAT YOUR WIFE?” Key findings Young men constantly have to negotiate varied and often contradictory expectations by family members and society, and by young men themselves. In addition, expectations and aspirations the young men may have also often clash with what is realistically possible in the current context, with high levels of unemployment and few opportunities to earn sufficient money. This is something young men are struggling with, which often results in frustration. Young men need to negotiate notions of masculinities in an ever-changing context in which gender roles transform as well. Many of them are in favour of gender equality,
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