Carers Network Beethoven Centre Third Avenue W10 4JL Tel: 020 8960 3033 Web: www.carers-network.org.uk Email: [email protected]

AFTER-DEATH PRACTICALITIES FUNERAL & BEREAVEMENT

SECTION I ORGANISING THE FUNERAL

The funeral can be very important in helping you, the friends and family of the deceased to mourn. It is a time where the deceased person’s life can be thought of, valued, and celebrated. It is also a time to think of the deceased person’s whole life, and not just the difficulties of the last few weeks, months or years spent being cared for.

When planning the funeral, you should find out whether the deceased person left any instructions about their funeral in a Will or other written document. Other than that you can choose between burial, cremation or alternative burials of various sorts and, if you choose to use one, a professional funeral director will help you make the arrangements.

I Non-Religious Services There is no requirement to have a religious ceremony or any kind of ceremony at all at a funeral. At this type of funeral, the services of an officiant -on the lines of a minister or celebrant- are commonly employed. They will conduct the proceedings which may involve readings of appropriate prose, tributes by attendees and the playing of appropriate music. Religious people will often organise a non-religious funeral if the person who has died was not a believer, out of respect for that person's wishes.

Remember: If you don't want a ceremony at all, members of the family or close friends can attend the committal, which can be in silence or with some music being played.

II Religious funerals A funeral is held for friends and family to grieve for the person who has died and give thanks for their life. If your loved one was a member of a faith group, they would most likely want

Carers Network (Westminster) is a UK based registered charity. Charity no. 1097723 and Company no. 04712756 you to ask a pastor or minister from their faith to officiate the service. Many faith groups can help with coordinating the funeral including details such as arrival times, flower arrangements, audio and visual needs, reception arrangements, etc.

SECTION II FUNERAL COSTS & FINANCIAL HELP If you are arranging the funeral, you will be the person responsible for ensuring the fees are paid, so it is sensible to check in advance if the deceased has money available (funeral insurance or estate) to cover the funeral costs Funeral costs can be quite high so it highly advisable to obtain quotes from more than one funeral director. In other words, SHOP AROUND!

Down to Earth on 020 8983 5055 offer free advocacy and practical guidance on finding the most affordable and appropriate funeral, and help you make the occasion meaningful. They are opened open 10am - 4pm weekdays and have more information here: http://www.quakersocialaction.org.uk/Pages/Category/down-to-earth

When thinking about financing for the funeral, you may want to consider the following: o Your deceased person’s estate Funeral expenses are often paid for by your deceased’s estate, so it is important that you research the value of their estate as soon as possible. This can be difficult as some banks and building societies will freeze the accounts of your loved one until you can show them the Death Certificate.

o Insurance or pre-paid funeral plans Life and funeral cover insurance plans and pre-paid funeral plans are designed to be paid out after the death is registered with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages. Evidence of these payment schemes should appear in your loved one’s bank or building society account, as they often require monthly instalments.

o Funeral Payments Funeral Payments are one of the options available to you under this scheme. Your eligibility is dependent on the benefits you receive, your relationship with your loved one (parent, sibling, spouse, etc.) and the other financial resources available to you, excluding your personal savings. For more, contact Bereavement Service helpline on 0800 731 0469

o Bereavement Payment To help cope with costs associated with losing a partner, you may be entitled to a tax- free one-off bereavement support payment of up to £2,000. To be eligible, you need to be under the State Pension age at the time you lost your partner. Your partner needed to have paid National Insurance contributions, been ineligible to receive a Category A State Retirement Benefit or lost their life from an accident at work. Bereavement payments, however, can affect other benefits that you may be receiving, so PLEASE check with the relevant authority to see if your benefits may change.

o The Social Fund

If you’re paying for the funeral and receiving means-tested benefits, the Social Fund could help you. This scheme offers a variety of financial options for those unable to pay for the funeral or travel to the funeral of a loved one.

o Budgeting Loans Budgeting Loans are small, interest-free loans that are repaid directly from your benefits.

o War Disablement Pension Another possible source of financial support is if your deceased was receiving War Disablement Pension. If you think that this resource could apply to you and you want to find out more information, contact Veterans UK on 0808 1914 2 18

Please contact the Bereavement Service helpline on 0800 731 0469 for more information on Funeral Payments www.gov.uk/funeral-payments/overview

NOTE: There is a significant shortfall between social fund funeral payments and the price of funeral

For other practical support and advice on what you may need to do after a death including Junk Mail Suppression Service and their Death Notification Service, you can also contact the Bereavement Advice Centre on 0800 634 9494 or [email protected]

When arranging a funeral for a child or a baby:

The Children’s Funeral Fund for England (run by the government) can help to pay for some of the costs of a funeral for a child under 18 or a baby stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy.

It is not means-tested: what you earn or how much you have in savings will not affect what you get. The burial or cremation must take place in England. The Fund covers burial or cremation fees, and a coffin, shroud or casket (up to £300).

You can find more information here https://www.gov.uk/child-funeral-costs

There are also some charities who will provide financial help and advice:

The Child Funeral Charity https://childfuneralcharity.org.uk/ and

Children are Butterflies https://www.childrenarebutterflies.org.uk/

SECTION III PUBLIC HEALTH FUNERALS Local Councils have a legal duty to arrange funerals for those people who have died and ▪ Have no known relatives to arrange or pay for their funeral; or ▪ Have relatives who do not want to; or ▪ Are unable to arrange their funeral. Local Authorities have a responsibility to arrange such funerals. Every effort is made to ensure that the funeral takes place in accordance with the deceased person's wishes, including in relation to their religious or ethnic beliefs, and whether they wanted to be buried or cremated. Please note: After the funeral has taken place, the local authority will try to recover some or all of the costs of the funeral from the deceased individual’s assets. For example, money found at the home of the deceased, money in the deceased’s bank account(s), insurance policies, funeral plans or from the sale of goods found at the property.

If you are the relative/carer of a deceased person and you are not in a position to arrange a private funeral, you may be expected to provide written permission for the council to arrange the funeral instead.

For more information on Public Health Funeral, please contact your local authority

SECTION IV CEMETERIES AND BURIALS

HAMMERSMITH & FULHAM WESTMINSTER For information on Burials and Cemetery For information on Burials and Cemetery (including Purchasing or reserving a grave, (including Purchasing or reserving a grave, please contact: please contact: The Cemetery Office The Cemetery Office Lower Richmond Road, Surrey, TW9 4LL 8 Uxbridge Rd, , London W7 3PP T: 020 8878 1934 T: 020 8567 0913 E: [email protected] E: W: https://www.lbhf.gov.uk W: www.westminster.gov.uk/cemeteries- funerals & Fulham use four cemeteries. North Sheen and Cemeteries are the The City of Westminster operates 3 cemeteries main cemeteries and are out the borough which are all situated outside the borough: While, Fulham Palace Road and Margravine Hanwell Cemetery (formerly City of Road cemeteries are within the borough Westminster Cemetery) (formerly St. Marylebone Cemetery) The Mortlake Crematorium is not run by H&F council. They can be contacted on: Mill Hill Cemetery (formerly Paddington New Cemetery) T: 020 8876 8056 E: [email protected]

KENSINGTON & CHELSEA For information on Burials and Cemetery (including Purchasing or reserving a grave, please contact: The Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea two cemeteries at:

Gunnersbury Hanwell 143 Gunnersbury Avenue, Acton W3 8LE Hanwell Cemetery T: 020 8992 2924 31 Uxbridge Road, London E: [email protected] Telephone: 020 8992 2924 Email: [email protected]

V SORTING OUT YOUR FINANCES The death of the person you cared-for may also have an effect on your own financial situation, your housing and you may need to find out which benefits you can claim. Your entitlement to benefits may change as a result of the bereavement, for example you may be entitled to Bereavement Allowance or a one-off lump sum known as Bereavement Payment. Benefits paid to the person you cared for will end soon after the death. This may also mean that you have to move home, or/and have to repay money paid after person died. Carers Network will be able to refer you on for specialist Welfare Rights, Housing advice and other legal issues.

THEN WHAT?

A few weeks after the death of the person you were caring for, you may feel like you are able to begin to reshape and adjust to your new life. When you have cared for someone for many years you may find that you are feeling lonely or isolated. The full reality of the death may not hit you until after this time, when friends and family may have moved away, returned to their livelihoods and the real pain of grief begins. It is at this point that you may start to feel the full extent of your grief.

Joining a group, course or club can help to reduce these feelings of isolation and your local library can give you information about where to begin. You may also consider returning to work and it may be a good idea to consider talking to a local Employment Adviser in order to consider your options, get advice on your CV or help prepare for job interviews. Volunteering can be very worthwhile and fulfilling. Carers Network and local organisations such as the Age UK and the Hospices may be able to offer you some volunteering opportunities to help other carers or support you in finding volunteering opportunities tailored to your needs.

For the twelve months following the death of your cared-for, Carers Network will continue to offer support. We will continue to send you our free quarterly newsletter. So, if you would like us to stop sending you the Newsletter and other Carers related information before the end of this 12 months period, please notify us as soon as possible and we will ensure that you are removed from our mailing.

PLEASE REMEMBER Although you may not feel you need help for this long, Carers Network will be here to offer you information, support and a listening ear if and when you need it.

‘The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living’

Marcus Tullius Cicero

USEFUL BEREAVEMENT & FUNERAL LINKS:

Cruse Bereavement Care Helpline: 0844 477 9400; Mon-Fri 09.30 am – 5.00 pm E: [email protected]; W: www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk Young Person's helpline: 0808 808 1677 Local Cruse Bereavement Care LBHF & RBKC area Cruse Bereavement Care: Westminster Bereavement Service (CCIWBS): T: 020 8964 3455 T: 020 7284 0090 Email: [email protected] E: [email protected] Web: www.kchf-cruse.org.uk W: www.bereavement-counselling.org

Macmillan Cancer Support T: 0808 808 0000; 7 days a week, 08.00 AM – 8.00 PM W: www.macmillan.org.uk Information and support for anyone affected by cancer whether they have been diagnosed themselves or are a family member, carer or friend. Child Bereavement UK Helpline 0800 02 888 40 (Monday – Friday, 9am – 5pm) E: [email protected]; W: www.childbereavementuk.org Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals both when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, and when a child is facing bereavement. Child Death Helpline T: 0800 282 986 | 0808 800 6019 Mon-Fri 10.00 – 1.00 PM, Weds only 1.00 – 4.00 PM, Every day 7.00 – 10.00 PM W: www.childdeathhelpline.org Helpline support for anyone affected by the death of a child, irrespective of the age of the child, the relationship or the length of time since the death. TCF (The Compassionate Friends) T: 0345 123 2304; Every day from 10.00 – 4.00 PM and 6.30 – 10.30 PM W: www.tcf.org.uk Support via telephone, Online, befriending and local groups for anyone affected by the death of a child, irrespective of the age of the child at the time of death The Blue Cross, for Pet Bereavement Support Service T: 0800 096 6606 Everyday 08.30 AM – 8.30 PM W: www.bluecross.org.uk Telephone and email support following the loss of a companion animal. Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide T: 0844 561 6855 Lines are open 09.00 AM – 9.00 PM every day W: www.uk-sobs.org.uk A self-help organisation which exists to meet the needs of those bereaved by the suicide of a family member or anyone close to them.

Loss Foundation T: 0300 200 4112; W: www.thelossfoundation.org Provides free cancer bereavement support including local Bereavement Support group, Social Events and Retreats Poppy’s Funerals T: 020 3589 4726 W: www.poppysfunerals.co.uk Poppy's is a modern, independent funeral director focussed on helping families create meaningful ceremonies for those who have died. They are also very happy to answer any questions you may have about what happens after someone has died and how to arrange a funeral Natural Death Centre T: 01962 712 690 W: www.naturaldeath.org.uk Information on 'green' funerals and arranging a funeral yourself. Woodlands Burials Telephone: 01255 88 00 40 Email: [email protected] Website: www.woodlandburials.co.uk Offers an environmentally friendly, cost effective & permanent alternative to traditional funerals, cemeteries and graveyards. British Humanist Association T: 020 7324 3060 W: www.humanism.org.uk/ceremonies Provides information on and officiants for non-religious funerals as well as advice on all aspects of humanist ceremonies Institute of Civil Funerals Telephone: 014 8086 1411 Email: [email protected] Website: www.iocf.org.uk Trains, regulates and can provide details of civil funeral celebrants. Funeral Choice T: 01983 754 387 W: www.yourfuneralchoice.com Provide free, independent information to help you find sensibly priced local funeral directors. Go to their website and enter your postcode to see the options in your area

Version 3 – Reviewed on September 2019