Embodied Inner Work: an Educator's Journey of Body-Mind-Heart
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
Embodied Inner Work: An Educator’s Journey of Body-Mind-Heart Integration by Sean Roswell Park M.A., University of Toronto, 2007 B.H.Sc., McMaster University, 2004 Thesis Submitted in Partial Fulfilment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Arts Education Program Faculty of Education © Sean Roswell Park 2014 Simon Fraser University Summer 2014 All rights reserved. However, in accordance with the Copyright Act of Canada, this work may be reproduced, without authorization, under the conditions for "Fair Dealing." Therefore, limited reproduction of this work for the purposes of private study, research, criticism, review and news reporting is likely to be in accordance with the law, particularly if cited appropriately. Approval Name: Sean Roswell Park Degree: Doctor of Philosophy Title: Embodied Inner Work: An Educator’s Journey of Body-Mind-Heart Integration Examining Chair: Lynn Fels Committee: Associate Professor Heesoon Bai Senior Supervisor Professor Celeste Snowber Supervisor Associate Professor Avraham Cohen Supervisor Professor City University of Seattle (Vancouver) Stephen Smith Internal Examiner Associate Professor Faculty of Education William L. Greene External Examiner Professor School of Education Southern Oregon University Date May 2, 2014 Defended/Approved: ii Partial Copyright Licence iii Abstract This dissertation is a heuristic, contemplative and artistic inquiry into the existential core of the author as human and as educator. The author, in examining his dreams and his past, discovers symbols and experiences that call him to know his suffering, restore access to his existential core, and be more fully present as an educator. In surveying the state of contemporary education and his experience growing up, a number of problematic schisms dividing mind, heart and body are identified as obstacles to our deepest potential as human beings. A rationale and various illustrations of embodied inner work that draw from Eastern philosophy and practice as well as Western psychology are put forth as valuable for the educator interested in accessing their deepest potential for ethical action in the classroom. Over the course of an apprenticeship with a neigong and taijiquan teacher, membership in a contemplative inquiry group, and in following the detours and contours of daily life, the case is made that any artistic practice can become a total way of being that engages the existential core. The concept and practice of various embodied inner work practices and skills are offered as a framework for the integration of mind and body, conflict transformation, and I-Thou encounters in the classroom. The author concludes with reflections on classrooms as sacred and empty spaces, the challenges of contemporary life, and the dramatic changes that come with being a new father. Keywords: contemplative education; holistic education; heuristic inquiry; arts- based inquiry; embodied inquiry; iv Dedication For my ancestors, for my family close and far, and for the big love that breathes life and movement into our bones. v Acknowledgements In following my bliss, I have been blessed to have a whole community witness and support me through my transformation. For my dad I extend an unending gratitude for being a source of strength, silliness, and inspiration in my life. I bow deeply to my mom for showing me how to take care of my inner child and teaching me about acceptance and perseverance. To both of you, I thank you for bringing me into this world alive and kicking! Many teachers, peers, and friends also deserve a solid shout out. Jeff Brown, Martin Stock, Emily Sadowski, Dr. Tom Culham, Dr. Charles Scott, Dr. Richard Sztramko, Lucy Leu, Maili Dinim, Anton Smessaeart, Lenke Sifko, Kyira Korrigan, caroline lefebvre, Carrie Macleod, Sarah Chase, Agent Humble, Adrian Sinclair, David Hatfield, Karen Fiorini, Michael Rosen, Rob Baxter, Karen Ageson, Dr. Michael Chang, Naomi Steinberg, Stu Clark, Dr. Bob Henderson, Jordan Bower, Dr. Barb Bloemhof, Dr. Gregory Kramer, Dr. Lynn Fels, Dr. Vicki Kelly, Dr. John Portelli Dr. Devon Christie, Dr. Michael Chang, Dr. Del Harnish, Chela Davison, Dr. David Abram, Dave Gould, Dr. Daniela Elza, Dr. Lee Freedman, Dr. Geoff Soloway, Joel Brass, Kerri Messner, Anna Kemble, Laura Piersol, Shekufeh Zonji, Nico Dicecco, Diane Garceau, Dr. Olen Gunnlaugson, Dr. Conrad Sichler, Laura Arsenault, Dr. Paul Uy, Sharon Wherland, Jake Wadland, Itay Keshet, Ann Russell, Dr. Ashwani Kumar, Lena Soots, and many others have all shared some of their wisdom and support for me in ways that have contributed to the substance and vision for this work. Major props go to Erica Smouter, Julia Lane, Shahar Rabi, and Saskia Tait for being relentless supporters of my process, for dreaming and visioning the bigger possibilities for our work, and for the irreplaceable heart-to-heart connections. Thanks go to the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council for acknowledging the importance of the ideas and questions I'm pursuing and granting me a fellowship in my final year, even if it did take me four attempts to convince them. To Dr. Celeste Snowber, a supervisor on my committee, I offer gestures of ecstasy, abandon, and grace. Celeste has helped me connect my movements and my vi body to my soul, a path along which the beauty and pain and the sacred and the profane have a home. She has encouraged me to see the artist within and to embrace the detours and contours of my life as my practice. Sifu Lou Crockett is a rare jewel whose commitment to a vigorous and unending embodied inner work is unparalleled. His dedication to my development as a student of neigong, even when I was flat broke, inspires me to practice with exceptional mindfulness and playful curiosity. Lou exemplifies the integration of spiritual practice with the movements of our body in our everyday life. I bow deeply to Lou and look forward to where our studies take us. My wife, Stephanie, danced and hoola-hooped her way into my life during a difficult period near the start of my doctoral program. As I began awakening to the callings of my heart I found a being with whom I could share and create an exceptional life. Her dedication to me, our relationship, herself, her work, and others has helped me put into practice the question of what it means to live life from the heart. Stephanie is a wonderfully embodied inner worker and creative collaborator and I am so grateful for her wisdom and her dedication to seeing me as I am. Woohoo! Dr. Avraham Cohen, a supervisor on my committee, is a beautiful human being who evokes care, warmth, playfulness, and a fierce dedication to living the most fulfilling inner life through his presence and mentorship. Avi saw my passion for aligning myself with the Dao through contemplative practice and internal martial arts and supported its emergence in a way no one has been able to. During some dark and troubled times, he reflected back to me many questions and suggestions that helped me in critical ways to tap into my imagination and inner resources. To Avi I give a big hug and sneak tickle attack! Dr. Heesoon Bai, my primary supervisor, is a true force of nature. Her sword is exceptionally quick and makes thorough, loving, and precise work of anything it touches. As an academic, she has paved a way for many of us who are dedicated to the inner life and transforming suffering into joy and freedom as educational, scholarly, and political projects. Without Heesoon I would have no holding environment or safe homebase in the academy. Heesoon has welcomed me into her home on countless occasions, always vii with hot soup, pistachios, and coconut oolong tea. Over food and overlooking the city, we have meditated together, cried together, laughed together, and engaged in some of the most stimulating conversations I have ever had. I am so blessed to have a mentor who is also an amazing friend and truly a member of my family. Heesoon was also the person who introduced me to Lou Crockett and supported my study with him. Heesoon and I have spent many hours in neigong training together and I am so happy that we found a way to make research invigorating, restorative, and a means of keeping us in touch with mystery. Finally, I am thrilled about my baby Theo's arrival into this world. I look forward to supporting you in finding your ground, path and voice in the world. Let's dance baby! viii Table of Contents Approval ii Partial Copyright Licence iii Abstract iv Dedication v Acknowledgements vi Table of Contents ix List of Figures xi Prelude 1 Some convictions on the aims of education 1 Walking a path of integration 1 10,000 ways of being 5 E/dao/cation 6 Inner work as heuristic research 9 Dojo inquiry 13 Notes to the reader 14 Chapter 1 – The Heart Calls 16 Associations and potential meanings 17 Family life, memory, suffering, and vulnerability 21 Survival strategies as resources: An early memory 23 Suffering 27 The journey to Vancouver: Detour into vulnerability 30 Waking up 34 Chapter 2 – Affliction and Being 37 Five assumptions 37 The broader ecology of suffering 40 Norms and the wound of the unloved 41 The norms of formal education and their consequences 42 Getting to the roots of normalization 46 The power and fear of feeling 46 Rationality versus intuition 47 Commodification of education 48 Psychological distress 49 Objectification 50 Having and being 50 Chapter 3 – The Lived Curriculum 52 Curriculum theory 55 Currere and living pedagogy: Towards an embodied curriculum 56 Inter/Embodiment 58 Elements of an embodied curriculum