‘I wish I could fake my death like the canoe man John Darwin so I could glimpse the world without “existing” for a while’

biscuits. In the evening I’d see the punk definite band Theatre of Hate play a small ven- ue. The day would end with the family glamping at Mellon Udrigle in the Highlands, a truly stunning place. The saddest time that shook your article world... The collapse of the Cleddau We ask a celebrity a set of devilishly Bridge in Wales in 1970, in which four men died. My grandfather Harry probing questions – and only accept was in charge of construction and, even though I was only five, I vividly THE definitive answer. This week recall him phoning to tell my parents what had happened. It was the first it’s Eggheads presenter Jeremy Vine time death had come into my life. The prized possession you value above The film you can watch time and time The unfulfilled ambition that contin- all others... My Dansette record play- again... The thriller Memento starring ues to haunt you... To know the order er, which I bought three years ago. I Guy Pearce. It’s dark and original and of the kings and queens of England love it because it takes me back to my I always notice something new. without pausing to think. It comes up teenage years when I listened to music The person who has influenced you on Eggheads the whole time, but I still endlessly in my bedroom. most... Geoff Grimmer, my boss when can’t answer the basic ones, like was The biggest regret you wish you could I was a trainee reporter on the Coventry George I before or after Edward II! amend... That I’ve never written a great Evening Telegraph. I was 21 and wide- The misappre- The crime you would commit knowing The philosophy that underpins your novel. I wrote two comic novels a long eyed with excitement. He’d go through hension about you could get away with it... I’d fake life... Keep dancing. Doing Strictly in time ago, which weren’t very good. every line of my copy yourself you wish my own death, like the canoe man 2015 taught me it’s always good to try and taught me so The temptation you wish you could you could erase... John Darwin, so I could glimpse the new things – even if you’re no good! resist... Twitter. I’m on it so often my much. Sadly, he died That I’m always world without ‘existing’ for a while. The order of service at your funeral... mobile phone operator keeps telling about 15 years ago. ser ious, wh ich The happiest moment you will cherish I’d be happy with a traditional Angli- me I’ve used up my data allowance! The unlikely inter- probably comes from forever... Staring at the Grand Teton can service followed by some nice est that engages your doing and The book that holds an everlasting mountains in Wyoming when I was sandwiches. But I’d quite like the vicar curiosity... Birds. I’m not Panorama. I love to laugh. resonance... The Collected Shorter travelling around America after leav- to mess up his speech and reveal that exactly a twitcher, but four years ago Poems of WH Auden. The journalist in The treasured item you lost and wish ing university in 1986. I sat in awe of he didn’t really know me at all! me likes the precision of his writing. while watching sandpipers at the Lon- you could have again... The tape their beauty and was filled with the don Wetland Centre I suddenly realised recordings of songs my brother [come- thrill of what was to come in my life. The way you want to be remem- The priority activity if you were the that bird watching is quite magical. dian ] and I wrote and sang bered... As a kind person. Invisible Man for a day... I’d shadow The way you would spend your fantasy when we were about 13. They were all The Plug... Jeremy co-hosts the Queen. I’ve never met her, The piece of wisdom you would 24 hours, with no travel restrictions... thrown out somewhere along the way. weekly from this Monday at 9pm on but she fascinates me. I remem- pass on to a child... Don’t worry I’d have an omelette and black coffee BBC1, and will present Radio 2 Live in ber being dragged by my parents about being first. Just enjoy The unending quest that drives you for breakfast at a cafe near my home in Hyde Park on Sunday 11 September. n to The Mall for the Silver Jubilee what you’re doing. on... To understand what Van Morrison London’s Chiswick. Then I’d explore As told to Rob McGibbon in 1977 when I was 12 and see- The poem that touches your is trying to tell us in his music! He’s Jupiter because there’s so much still ing her wave back at me! soul... The Portrait by great but I just can’t make sense of it. unknown about that planet. Later I’d head to Sidmouth Stanley Kunitz, about The event that altered the course of The pet hate that makes in Devon with my wife his father’s suicide. your life and character... When I sud- your hackles rise... Buses Rachel and our daughters It’s astonishing. denly realised I was driving on the that overtake me when I’m Martha, 12, and Anna, wrong side of a mountain road in Sic- cycling, then immediately The figure from nine. We love it because ily on holiday in 2004. I was zoom- pull over. It’s so dangerous. history for whom you’d it’s so olde-worlde. We’d most like to buy a pie and ing past a car when it dawned on me. have fish and chips at The a pint... Anne Boleyn. I’d tell It still makes my blood run cold, but White Horse Cafe. In the Right: Anne Boleyn. also reminds me how lucky I am. Above right: a her not to worry about Henry, afternoon I’d stop off for Dansette record or her execution, because her The song that means most to you... tea at my Mum and Dad’s player. Far right: daughter Elizabeth would Half A Person by The Smiths. I con- home in Surrey for a chat Grand Teton in the US become one of the greatest nected with the feeling of bedsit angst – and plenty of Mum’s monarchs ever. when I was at . homemade oatmeal Next week PS... l Monty Don on the real TV s re

tu Jamie Dornan plays a WWII soldier in Anthropoid, in cinemas star in his family, Nigel the dog l Brilliant cakes and y, rex feay,

m Friday. Meat Loaf’s new album, Braver Than We Are, is out a l mouthwatering meals rice, a the same day. And Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart join from Bake Off winner : ki p s h l p John Whaite PLUS gra forces in No Man’s Land at Wyndham’s Theatre from Wednesday Britain’s best TV guide oto h p

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