8-Bit Dystopia Fluff Dump

8-Bit Dystopia Fluff Dump King of Fighters/Final Fight: SOUTH METRO “Set a while here, young’n. I needs ta have a little chat witcha. I heard it through the grapevine that yer fixin’ to move outta “The City” and into that spot you heard about down south. Lemme tell ya somethin’ kid, fer all the shit that pollutes the iron jungle we squat in, at the very least, it’s safe. Kinda. Relatively. Look, if ya keep yer head down and stay outta trouble with the Big Four, yer golden. If you get a job with one’a dem, yer set fer life. Down there? They got more criminals per square inch den workin’ toilets! I should know, I came from there, ya here? I know the history, I seen most of it, I’ll tell ya what’s up.” “Y’see, back before the Invaders came and stuck their dicks in the planet, there was these two rat shit burgs called Metro City and Southtown. Let me tell ya, no one had ever seen anything like ‘em. Two neighbor cities, both with more criminals per block than working toilets, just beating the shit out of each other every hour, every day of the week. O’course, it was all the work of some big pimp palooka in a snow coat tryin’ ta take over, but that’s in the past. When the Invaders came, a surprisin’ amount of gangs took up the call to fight back. Details on the fights is sketchy, but if rumors are to be believed, it was gangers armed with nothin’ more an’ chains, bats and guns wailing on cthuloid entities. And winning. Tha’ was a proud day, I tell ya, pimps, gutter punks and street urchins, which made up most of the population of Metro City and Southtown came together ter fight somethin’ bigger’n their turf wars. Don’t be fooled though, da population dropped like nuts, and both of the cities was nearly razed to da ground, but they made it better’n most other places on Earth. Naturally when the jig was up and the teleporters turned on, most the folks in Southtown and Metro City got shut out. The richest folks in the city came together and paid their way in with under the table money. They promised to all them normal folk left behind that they’d all come together and make a new city; SouthMetro. If’n I remember right, the biggest spender was a little piece a shit named Goose, or something, who’s daddy was a media mogul that had died in the invasion, leaving him a fortune ta piss away.” “Time was, SouthMetro was lookin’ ta be a new eden fer all dem folks what was sick of the City and it’s mega corps. Mayor Haggar promised in his campaign dat he’d clean up the streets, one busted skull at a time. Crazy bastard brought a steel pipe to one of dem speeches to demonstrate. He got my vote. An’ ya know, fer a good while, he kept his promise. But you know there ain’t no heroes left here, and if there was, dey wouldn’t last. Couple’a years ago, Haggar gets word that his sweet little daughter had been kidnapped by some gangers. Sounded like a normal Friday to most, but not in SouthMetro. Back then, dat kinda shit didn’t stand. So you know what Haggar did? He rounded up somma his daughter’s friends, a convict and a ninja, I heard, and he hisself went out with them and wreaked havoc in the cities’ underground fer weeks tryin’ ta find her. I know what you wanna hear, dat Haggard got his little girl back, and dat she shacked up wit’ da con and da ninja and everyfin’ was golden. But like I said, there ain’t no heroes left. Turns out, when Haggard finally found his daughter, she had hooked up with that noble prat what had come on the ship when he was a young’n Geese, I think. Geese had gathered up a buncha gangs from The City and was plannin’ a coup of SouthMetro by force. No one knows what happened when Haggar found out what was goin’ on, only that someone looking about Haggar’s size got thrown out of the twentieth-somethin’ story of Geese’s Hunger Factory headquarters. Folk’s say only a red stain was left on the concrete.” Barkeep! Mix me a white Russian, will ya? This shit ya gave me tastes like somethin’ outta da pipes! Dis young’n here’ll pay my way. Where was I now? Aw yeah, right, fuckin’ Geese. Dat kimono wearin’ rat bastard he is. So without Haggar dere ta clean up the streets, SouthMetro quickly turned into the urine soaked den o’ crime from Geese’s childhood. Nobody said nothin’, but everyone knew who was running da show now, and there wasn’t nobody what could stand in da way. Landfills became mass graves as da biggest crimewave in SouthMetro history hit da urbs. Wasn’t but three years ago dat Geese announced SouthMetro’s own blood sport fer fun an’ profit. Something ta compete with F- Zero in the ratings. He’s getting together some’a da toughest street punks in da world to come an’ beat the man shit outta each other until someone is left standin’. King of Fighters, I tink da commercial said. Now don’t tell anyone I said dis, but dere’s somethin’ more goin’ on dere behind da scenes if ya know what I’m saying. Folk’s er whispering about Geese being in this cult, like da dreamlands ya know, but more secret and richer. Dey say dat they worship some kind’a old god from way in da east called da Orochi. Dey say it that they can drive men crazy with it, make em’ fight, make em’ kill, do whatever they want, all beserk like, ya dig? SouthMetro’s already turned inna garbage dump of the worst pieces a work ta get kicked out of da City’s gangs. I hear dem Mad Gears and Skull Cross punks been setting up a new gang dere. Point is, some bad shits about ta go down in SouthMetro, and unless ya got a death wish, ya best sit yere fool ass right down here instead off running out der ta git killed. My son…my son is out dere. He always said he just wanted ta dance and now he wants ta fight! I think dat Orochi bullshit done got in his head er’ something, cause he did his hair up all strange and started shakin’ and talkin’ in rhyme. He done started callin’ himself da Duck King er some nonsense! Duck King! I’m tellin’ ya, dat Geese has got some crazy bullshit going and we don’t need n’more of da youth a da City running off dere ta git killed or worse! “ The old man was in hysterics now, the bar patrons’ whispering and outright saying that was he was talking about was a crock. The young man he had been talking to slowly stood up from his seat, adjusted the red baseball cap atop his flowing blonde locks and straightened his jacket. The old man stood up abruptly and grabbed the young man by the collar, tears streaming down his face. “Fine! Ya wanna go and die, be my guest! It ain’t like an old man like me can stop ya! But please, please, if’n ya see may son! Tell him his daddy love him! Tell him what I told you! Tell him ta come home!” The young man patted the old gnarled claws with his own gloved hands. When the old man let go, simpering and weeping, the young one turned away and headed for the door. He stopped in the threshold and waved his hand to the old man, to the bartender, to the worried patrons, to the world. A rare sight in The City lit up his face: a smile. “OKAY!” the young man shouted with youthful energy before bounding off into the smoggy night air. Mother 3/Chrono Trigger: Tazmilly “Hey, you ever hear about Tazmilly? It was this sweet little getaway somewhere south of the Kremling Islands, where those Kongs are, but north of Yoshi’s island. It was an island paradise that was super rich in minerals and hot springs, they said, and if you found it, you’d live the closest thing to a happy life on this planet. They said if you made it there you’d find a country town straight out of an old spaghetti western where everybody was all smiles. They didn’t use money. You had to trade to get what you wanted. I heard it was made by people that retired or escaped from the corps and made their own little slice of paradise. The problem is, old habits die hard. Apparently, the folks that founded the city put together their own little science lab to study the local plants and animals. Some people say that the animals in the forests and mountains around Tazmilly were intelligent and could talk. They even had historians, the animals, I mean, in the form of talking frogs. Sounds like a fairy tale, right? Well, the thing is, one of those frogs told me all this. The frog also offered me a personal bank account, I think. No, I wasn’t on 1-up or E-Tank or anything, why’d you ask?” “Anyway, they start making progress in the labs, testing and studying the animals, and then even making some new ones of their own.

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