Felix Issue 632, 1983
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NEWSPAPER STUDENT SHOT DEAD Shit to hit the fans News Peter Burt to ON RIFLE RANGE make tea—Yech! The barbaric ritual of the Page 3 Morphy Day fight will go ahead A postgraduate student from Chelsea College was shot dead at later this year despite complaints News An end to the the College Sports Centre last Thursday at 7:30pm. from Putney residents to the NUS debate—hurray Christopher Artemiou, a 24 Artemiou was found dead, shot Rector after the vandalism by IC students after last year's Morphy Page 3 year old graduate studying arche- through the head. ology and anthropology at Police and forensic scientists Day. News ICU flouts ULU Chelsea College turned up at a were immediately called in by the Morphy Day itself is an inter- ban on freebies. Page 3 meeting of the University of Sports Centre officials. On arri- CCU boat race along the Thames London Rifle Shooting Club val they sealed off the area and starting from Putney. It is meeting and said he would be questioned people as they left. A traditional for the CCUs to fight interested in joining. The rifle post-mortem was held on for the Morphy Oar once the race to range superintendent took him Monday and the matter is being has started. This usually deger- onto the range and showed him treated as suicide. Contents of ates to a neanderthal punch-up how to fire the gun. On leaving the letters found in the deceased's with fish guts, offal and dung range to reload his rifle the pocket have not been disclosed being hurled. superintendent heard a shot and by the Police. Putney residents felt that the returned to the room. Mr event went too far last year with many having their dustbin lids stolen by IC students. A letter was sent to the Rector by the local MP David Mellor. The Rector expressed his concern to the then IC Union President Stephen Goulder who took ac- tion by making it Council policy that IC Union will not have News Gaynor Lewis, a anything to do with the event. girl with no morals The CCUs will stage the fight Page 4 this year further down the river in the hope that the rising tide will Reviews FELIX wash the Vness away. Mr Dave previews the London Parry, RCSU Vice President, has said that the CCUs will not take Film Festival Page 8 any precautions to ensure that The Baron of their members will behave them- selves on the day. Cheapskate back The pistol used in the incident, a Smith and Weston 0.41. despite popular demand Page 10 £300 to go to NUS It was decided at IC Union will comprise a member of the large number of free parties, Council on Monday night that Exec (presumably Miss Gaynor meals and drink parties she over £300 pounds of IC Union Lewis), External Affairs Officer already enjoys at the Union's money will be spent sending three Peter Burt, and one other. expense. people to the NUS conference in Mr Mike Stuart, President of Hon Sec Mr Sean Davis is also Blackpool later this year. The IC City and Guilds Union, opposed totally opposed to the sending of Union delegates will have hotel sending anyone to the conference Union delegates to the confer- accommodation, subsidised food on the grounds that Imperial ence. In an interview with FELIX and drink and numerous parties College is not a member of NUS. Mr Davis described the action as all paid for by the Union. The Mr Stuart, the only person on 'a bloody waste of Union money, cost per person is estimated at Council prepared to ask especially when we're having to Victory Mooney £65-75 plus travel expenses. awkward questions, sees the turn down many urgent claims revealed by the Sherfield The delegates to be sent will all conference as an attempt by Miss from clubs and societies for more Mole Page 10 be from IC Union Council and Lewis to increase the already money'. No. 658 FELIX, 18 November, 1983 Free! neither are little personal digs at people who have criticised you. What happened? Did the flabby RSMU Rants pansy threaten to sue you or something? Moving onto pastures new, Dear Sit- why don't we have a few digs at As a member of RSMU 1 that paragon of cock-ups—the would like to set the record College administration and straight. As a union we are other bureaucrats. For instance getting extremely fed up with what was the real point of other groups at IC perpetuating building all that parking con- the image they think we should trol rubbish? They haven't have and promoting this trave- actually saved any money by esty with their propaganda Creepy getting rid of any labour so it campaigns. Spineless and was rather pointless to blow all : RSMU is an organisation letter that money (£10,000, £15,000 with no political leanings and without teeth whatever). Dear Pallab feels that a great deal of ICU Dear Pallab Why did they hire all that I would like to start vicious/ timers being wasted on political I just want to say how Meccano to go round Elec Eng delicious rumours about the issues which could be far better sickened I am that despite and then leave it for six weeks, reforming of the IC Social used on matters of direct having a Union that resembles a building up a massive hire Democratic Society. We offer concern to students; after all, kipper—yellow, two-faced, charge? I'll tell you: it was no pregnant secretaries, Welsh that's what the Union is for. As spineless and without teeth— specially done so that the frogs, just nice letters to Pallab a Union we don't try to impress people still can't be bothered to workmen could come in on (is that creepy enough?). our views on others, so we don't get off their bums to go to Monday 3 October and cause see why others should try to UGMs. Seriously, we hope to pro- maximum noise and inconveni- force us to conform to their The block vote tactics used mote David Owen lookalikes in ence to a maximum number of values. There is no such thing as by the Miners make the voting a College, encourage Shirley people. Our caring Sherfield the 'Mines block vote', no mockery. The fact that vacant Williams hairdos and start building strikes again. attempt is made to coerce Union posts are not sufficiently intellectual discussion on SDP Why not dig a little and people into voting for a parti- advertised makes the elections a policies—the latter will be the justify your election? cular viewpoint at UGMs but mockery. The fact that ICU easiest (and then, perhaps not). Yours faithfully what I will say is enough people sabbaticals can get away with Rumours commence, may Simon Curling care about their Union to want doing bugger all makes the claret be served. to preserve its individuality and Union a mockery and an insult Yours (The scaffolding has already cost freedom of expression. to the student body, although Conine Lander the College £700,000. There will most students don't seem to Maths 1 be a full expose soon. The full facts Finally I would like to voice mind this. are not dug up over night. -Ed) my disgust with the manner in PS: We (I) require a tall, dark, which the 'antipornography' I must admit that Ents are handsome experienced secre- vote was carried out. The usually good, particularly tary. Academic matter was handled so ineptly even* organised by the CCUs, and the meeting had degener- but ICU's laudable claim to be Affairs non-political seems to stretch to ated into such a shambles that I Dear Pallab student politics and student do not see how a fair account What Election We must confess to being representation. We need good could be obtained from the astounded by the revelation in paper ballot. representation if we are to avoid Promises? the last edition of FELIX that being trampled all over and we Yours etc the Academic Affairs Commit- need more students at UGMs to Sir Alison B Mew tee is one that 'nobody ever stop them from being fiascos What happened to the witty, and to lend weight to any cutting, satirical, invective- attends'. motions passed. laden style of editorship that This is yet another incidence A tit you promised us back at Easter? of the factual inaccuracy in Please come along to the next reporting which we have come UGM, at the very least you'll Without doubt you started off to expect from FELIX. We get a chance to make a paper on the right foot with an expose writes suggest that in future, should aeroplane. of that arrogant windbag in Student Services; what has FELIX wish to comment con- Dear Pallab Love and Kisses happened since? Headlines on structively on the workings of I was appalled to read in the J O'Shea pigeons and issues devoted the Union that reporters should UGM report in Friday's EE1 almost entirely to careers, get off their arses and venture FELIX that Neil Stewart worthy though they may be, are out of the FELIX Office into literally wiped the floor with the hardly your supposed style. the real world other speakers. Is it really Editorials on the Moonies, necessary for the NUS Presi- (Up) Yours NUS etc aren't very original, dent to use such violent means The Bad J J Claydon and J S Boucher to gain his ends? Secondly, I note that your front page headline proclaims a Guy 'Caption Competion' (sic).