B"H Chabad.org

June 25, 2004 Chukat 5764 -

Daily Thought Comment: Beyond Lubavitch By Zalman Shmotkin Perhaps this milestone anniversary is not really about the story of Lubavitch. Of Dark Knowing Light course, Lubavitch comprises an important piece of the Rebbe's life. But it may still not be "the" story...

That the spark of G-d within The Rebbe: Ten Perspectives us will ponder G-d, what is An engineer, a journalist, an accountant, a businessman, a freelance writer, a the surprise? prime minister, a scholar, a rabbi, an activist and a poet tell us what it was like to know the Rebbe But when the animal within Essay: Reflections on Leave-Taking By Susan Handelman lifts its eyes to the heavens, We really should not have to die at all, despite Adam's sin. And G-d, so to when the dark side of Man speak, is sensitive to this. It "embarrasses" Him... lets in a little light, that is truly amazing. How can Voices: The Most Joyous Pain By Sara Esther Crispe As we began to ride we heard sirens. First one, quickly followed by another, darkness know light? Only then another, until their wailing filled the streets and pierced the skies. As each with the power of He who is ambulance passed, my contractions grew more intense beyond both darkness and light. Relationships: How to Agree to Disagree By Yaakov Lieder It is possible for two people to see and hear the same event and yet each has a totally different experience of what actually took place...

Parshah: Chukat About the Red heifer (and her son), two kinds of water (life-bearing and strife- bearing), the passing of Miriam, Aaron's death by "divine kiss", a brass serpent pointing heavenward, a song to a well and a battle with giants...

And at that time there will be no hunger or war, no jealousy or rivalry. For the good will be plentiful, and all delicacies available as dust. The entire occupation of the world will be only to know G-d... the people Israel will be of great wisdom; they will perceive the esoteric truths and comprehend their Creator's wisdom as is the capacity of man. As it is written (Isaiah 11:9): "For the earth shall be filed with the knowledge of G-d, as the waters cover the sea." --Maimonides (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Kings 12:5)

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Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 1 B"H Chabad.org Beyond Lubavitch I think that the Rebbe's 10th his elucidations of lofty Torah By Zalman Shmotkin yahrtzeit beckons us to look beyond concepts, the conviction and Lubavitch and to take a deeper and certainty with which he presented broader look at who the Rebbe his positions, the deep-felt belief he This June 21-22 (3 Tammuz himself was, what he stood for, how had in the power G-d vested inside on the Jewish calendar) he acted upon his beliefs, and what each human being -- these were but marks ten years since the in Jewish life today is attributable to some of the attributes that attracted passing of the Lubavitcher his vision. people to buy into the Rebbe's

Comment Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem vision. M. Schneerson, of righteous The lion's share of the Rebbe's time memory. and energies was consumed not by There were some who disagreed Lubavitch per se, but with him. But many of those very Certainly, this milestone by klal yisrael, the same people are implementing will evoke much totality of the Jewish today what he started teaching half reflection within the people. a century ago. Throughout the Chabad-Lubavitch Jewish world today, people are community. We can Over the years, many following the course painstakingly also expect thousands sat in the set by the Rebbe. assessments by Rebbe's office at 770 journalists and Eastern Parkway for In fact, it is quite possible that, in the academics, both on a personal audiences Rebbe's view, every single Jew global and local scale, with the Rebbe, and alive today can be considered his on how the movement were inspired by him successor. has fared in the last ten to become years, what it has acheived, where it ambassadors for Torah and is headed, and so on. Judaism to whatever organization or stream of Judaism they affiliated But perhaps this milestone Rabbi Zalman Shmotkin is the with, and whatever strata of society director of Chabad.org anniversary is not really about the they had the potential to impact. story of Lubavitch. Of course,

Lubavitch comprises an important The urgency and optimism he piece of the Rebbe's life. But it may exuded, the breathtaking beauty of still not be "the" story.

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Ten Perspectives

Milton Fechter, engineer, Benzion Rader, accountant, Eli Groisman, businessman

Sara Esther Crispe, freelance writer, Ariel Sharon, prime minister

Geulah Cohen, journalist, Adin Even-Israel (Steinsaltz), scholar

Jonathan Sacks, rabbi, Jay Litvin, activist, Zvi Yair, poet

The full ten perspectives can be viewed online at http://www.chabad.org/magazine/article.asp?AID=137144, or in last week's magazine PDF at http://www.chabad.org/media/PDF/106757.pdf

Reflections on Leave-Taking Leave-Taking and the Passing of leave of the Rebbe-- and continue, By Susan Handelman the Lubavitcher Rebbe," published nevertheless, always to be his in Torah of the Mothers: student. I dedicate it to his memory.) Contemporary Jewish Women Read (Author's note: The Classical Jewish Texts (eds. Ora The passing of the Rebbe occurred following is excerpted from Elper and Susan Handelman, at the end of the Shabbat on which Essay a longer essay, "'With Every Jerusalem, Urim Press, 2000). It is the biblical portion Chukat (Numbers Goodbye You Learn': Reflections on one of the ways in which I take 19-22) was read, a section which is

Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 3 B"H Chabad.org all about the death of our great "Aaron shall be gathered to What, one wonders, might Moses leaders. These passages relate the his people. For he shall not and Aaron be thinking and feeling at famous incident of Moses' striking enter the land which I have this point? A trained reader of the the rock, and being told that he and given to the children of Bible would also pick up right away Aaron will not enter the Promised Israel, because you rebelled the problem of repetition of the Land; and also describe the passing against my word at the announcement of Aaron's death of Miriam and of Aaron. water of Meriva. from first being to both Aaron and Moses, and then just to Moses. The Rebbe always cited the famous "Take Aaron and Elazar his How, indeed is Moses supposed to Chabad teaching that "one should son and bring them up to "take" Aaron? How is he to tell him live with the times," meaning -- live Mount Hor; and strip Aaron such news; how is a brother to with the Torah portion of the week, of his garments, and put "take" another brother to his death? and see how every external event them on Elazar his son. And why is Moses being given the comes to us by Divine Providence role of mediator between G-d and and is connected to Torah. Our role "And Aaron shall be Aaron here? How does anyone, in is to seek out its inner meaning and gathered to his people and fact, tell another such news? personal connection to our lives. So die there." I would like here to explore further The midrash (from the link between the date of the And Moses did as Yalkut Shimoni Rebbe's passing and this Torah the Lord [Tanchuma]) on this portion, and find how it can help commanded. And verse has a striking comfort us, and illumine the they went up to interpretation of the meaning of Gimmel Tammuz, his Mount Hor in the verse, "Take Aaron and yahrtzeit. sight of all the Elazar his son and bring congregation. them up to Mount Hor": There is a remarkable midrash on the verses which deal with the death And Moses The Holy One of Aaron and reflects the pain of stripped Aaron of blessed be He said loss. The specific biblical passage, his garments, and to Moses: "Do me a Numbers 20:22-29, reads as put them on kindness and tell follows: Elazar his son. Aaron of the death of which I am embarrassed to tell And they journeyed from And Aaron died there at the him." Kadesh. And the children of top of the mount. Israel, the whole R. Chuna said in the name congregation, came to And Moses and Elazar of R. Tanhum bar Chiya: Mount Hor. descended from the mount. What did Moses do? He rose very early in the And all the congregation And G-d spoke to Moses morning and went to saw that Aaron had died. and Aaron in Mount Hor, by Aaron's dwelling, and began And they wept for Aaron the border of the land of to call out "Aaron, my Edom, saying: thirty days, all the House of Israel.

Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 4 B"H Chabad.org brother!" Aaron came down created, how they merited Said Aaron: "My heart is to him. marriage and joy in the void within me, and the Garden of Eden, how they terrors of death have fallen Aaron said to him: "What ate from the tree, and upon me." [Psalms 55:5] did you see to make you then as it is said to him, rise so early and come here 'For dust you are and to Said Moses: "Do you today?" dust you shall return'? accept to die?" After all that praise, to Moses replied: "I was such did they come." Said Aaron: "Yes." pondering a matter in the Torah last night and it was Said Moses to him: "And Said Moses: "Let us ascend very difficult for me. So I I, who ruled over the Mount Hor." rose early and came to ministering angels, and you." you who stopped death This is an extraordinarily moving [the plague, as described interpretation. I also think of this Aaron said: "And what is in Numbers 17:13], isn't midrash as a paradigm of teaching. this word of Torah?" our end going to be like Moses seems to be consciously this?! How many more enacting the pedagogical strategy of Moses said:" I don't know years do we have to live. the kabbalistic metaphor of what the text is, but I do Twenty?" tzimtzum "creation by contraction of know that it was in the the self"-- the teacher always has to Book of Genesis. Come, Said Aaron: "They are undergo a tzimtzum, a contraction let's read it." very few." and concealment of his or her knowledge, in order to be able to They took the Book of Moses subtracted and pass it over, and to have it received Genesis and read through subtracted, until he by the student. It seems that all the it, section by section, and mentioned to him the day great teachers knew that one cannot about each one, Aaron said: of his [Aaron's] death. really teach anything directly, which "How wonderfully and how is why they so often resorted to beautifully G-d created!" Immediately, Aaron's parables and stories. bones felt it, and he And when they reached the languished. I see the literary and pedagogical story of the creation of nature of biblical and midrashic Adam, Moses said: "What Said Aaron : "Perhaps this narratives doing precisely that. Or will I say about Adam who word is intended for me?" as Adam Philips once said about brought death to the world?" child development, and about Said Moses: "Yes." psychoanalysis itself: "The child's Said Aaron: "Moses, my freedom, the child's self-fashioning brother, don't speak that Immediately, Israel saw project, depends on her being able way about this matter. that his stature shrank, as to treat orders and instructions as Mustn't we accept the it is said: "And all the though they were also hints and decree of G-d... how congregation saw." suggestions: an education though Adam and Eve were hinting about hinting that hints,

Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 5 B"H Chabad.org points, invites, but does not the living and the dead"? (Numbers Instead, it is a dark, oblique compel." 17:13). process. In the obscurities and dark spaces, one finds an unpredictable And indeed, the very deepest things Another suggestion: sometimes one truth. And that indeed is the way of we can only say indirectly. has to tell difficult things to people Torah.2 Especially at moments of leave- one loves. One has to give criticism taking, even when we often attempt or convey hard truths and this is Dark spaces and unpredictable to pour out and reveal all that is in embarrassing. G-d loved Aaron and truths. We all continue to search the our hearts, we cannot ever fully did not want to have to tell him he Torah, to try to beget our truth and capture all we want to say. And so would die; it was embarrassing our consolation. The key line for me often, we take the opposite course, knowledge.1 in that midrash is Aaron's shema simply evading trying to say it at all, bishvili hu ha-davar? "Perhaps this or do so in a very hasty, improvised In a recent lecture, in a discussion word/thing is meant for me?" Aaron way. But why, I still wonder, is G-d of the midrash on the way Moshe so first learns it as theoretical embarrassed to tell Aaron? Why indirectly "took" Aaron, and knowledge, a nice lecture, a theme should it be difficult even for Him? conveyed to him the day of his in Genesis about everyone having death, the well-known Jerusalem to die. But he doesn't realize, bishvili My colleagues and friends teacher and author on the Bible, hu ha davar. The word of Torah is suggested some possible answers: Aviva Gottlieb Zornberg, explored indeed for us on our deepest level in the possibility that Moses was not all our pain as well as all our joy, in Rav Kook, the famous first Chief just manipulating Aaron: perhaps our life and in our death. Rabbi of Palestine, once said that Moses indeed forgot or repressed death is a herpah -- "disgrace" or the terrible knowledge G-d gave "shame" -- for man. That is, we him. He knows, however, that he The classic medieval Jewish really should not have to die at all, has to tell Aaron something, and commentator Rashi, in his comment despite Adam's sin. And G-d, so to that the truth will emerge as he on the words "take Aaron," cites a speak, is sensitive to this. It speaks, and as they read together, midrash and interprets the directive "embarrasses" Him. Especially in and try to apply the text to their own to Moses as follows: "With words of regard to Moses and Aaron, such lives. They will find the "lost" word of comfort: 'How fortunate are you that great souls. What, indeed, did they Torah in the process. On a broader you will see your crown given to do that could possibly justify this? level, she continued, one doesn't your son, unlike me who has not The prophet Elijah, for example, "possess one's own truth"; rather merited that.'" For Moses was merits an entirely different kind of one has to bear witness to it through succeeded not by his son, but by his departure: he does not die but one's reading, through an alert student and follower, Joshua, and ascends to heaven in a chariot of reading. One reaches it obliquely, went to his death alone. fire (II Kings 11). So how can G-d one begets it, as Moses joins Aaron say this to Aaron -- especially after to beget the truth together with him, The midrash continues to describe Aaron was the one who in the to bring out the hidden dimension of the scene of a very gentle, loving previous story, the rebellion of the text through use of one's own passing, one which Moses himself Korach, stopped the massive lethal life situation. Interpretation and yearns for as he witnesses it. Aaron plague that had broken out among finding of truth are not, then, the takes off the special garments of the the Israelites and "stood between saying of what one already knows.

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High Priesthood, and they are put Shechinah descended and there the entire Promised Land, in on his son Elazar. Then: kissed him [Aaron]. its times of peace and in its times of destruction, and all that would Moses said to Aaron: "Enter The last line comes from the moving happen in the future history of the the cave." And he entered. and painful description of Moses' Jews until the Last Day and own passing at the end of the Book resurrection of the dead. Perhaps "Ascend the couch." And he of Deuteronomy (Deut.34:5-6): that was G-d's way of comforting ascended. and assuring Moses that all would And Moses died there, the continue on without him, that "Extend your arms," And he servant of G-d, in the land of ultimately all he gave his life for extended them. Moab -- according to the word would be realized. of G-d. "Close your mouth." And he Aaron saw his son succeed him, but closed it. And he buried him there in Moshe's life moved far beyond the the valley, in the land of personal. His true children were the "Shut your eyes." And he shut Moab, opposite Beit Peor, entire people of Israel, whom he led them. and with whom he suffered for so And no one knows his grave many years in the desert. To see At that moment, Moses said, unto this day. the Promised Land and a vision of "Fortunate is the one who his children entering, settling, and dies such a death." The midrash above is trying to building it until the Last Day, was explain the ambiguous pronoun "he" perhaps a way of indeed seeing his Thus it is written [Deut. 32:50] "like in the phrase "and he buried him "son" succeed him. Aaron your brother died"-- the death there." Who in fact, buried Moses? that you desired. For after Moses finishes speaking I can't help but again think of the his final words to the people in passing of the Rebbe as I read Another midrash expands the Deuteronomy 32:44-52, G-d tells these texts. Of the way in which he dialogue: him to ascend mount Nebo in the died in a hospital room, surrounded land of Moab facing Jericho, and to Said Moses to him: "Aaron not by family, nor with the view the promised land he will not my brother, what do you see. consolation of a seeing a child able be able to enter: "And die on the Miriam died, and I and you to take up his mantle. Of a man who mountain which you ascend, and be both took care of her. You are also never was able to set foot in gathered to your people, like Aaron dying, and you see me and the Land of Israel, but also of a your brother died, and was gathered Elazar taking care of you. leader who saw it all so clearly from to his people in Mount Hor." But And myself -- when I die, who afar, gave his life over entirely to the unlike Aaron, no one was to will take care of me?" people, suffered with them, and who accompany Moses. He went alone. also strained to see that final End, G-d took care of his lonely passing. Answered the Holy One that time of Moshiach which would blessed be He: "I will take bring an end to all the tribulations of And from that summit, he sees a care of you," as it is written Exile. glimpse of his dream from afar [Deut. 34:6] "And he buried (Deut. 34:1-5). According to the him there." Immediately, the midrash, G-d showed him from

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How hard it is to accept the passing congregation saw that Aaron learn from the Lubavitcher Rebbe's of such a man. On the words, "and had died." teachings and life are but like those they went up to Mount Hor in the few small drops compared to the sight of all the congregation" ( It is now ten years since the Rebbe vastness of the ocean. It is not Numbers 20:27), the midrash has passed on. His grave, however, possible for me to convey even interprets that all the people saw is well known and visited by many. them in their fullness, let alone who Moses, Aaron, and Elazar ascend His chassidim continue his life's and what he was. the mountain, but "if they had known work all over the world. His that he was ascending to die, they teachings continue to radiate from As a woman engaged in intellectual would not have permitted him to go, the hundreds of books of his Torah and academic work, I also received but would have prayed for mercy for and the letters he left behind. The the greatest encouragement from him. They thought, however, that personal comfort, advice, and the Rebbe -- blessings to continue perhaps G-d was calling those inspiration he gave to tens of my Ph.D. in English, advice about three." Afterwards, when "all the thousands is inscribed in their possible dissertation topics, advice congregation saw that Aaron had hearts. And he gave us all, too, a about how to negotiate politics died" (Numbers 20:29), another glimpse of his great vision of within the university. The Rebbe midrash relates: redemption. also edited and corrected some manuscripts I wrote in English When Moses and Elazar dealing with talks he had given on descended from the mount, various topics. I always sensed he Postscript: I had a special relation to all the congregation gathered wanted me to employ to the full my the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi together and asked, "Where intellectual capacities, and all the Menachem Mendel Schneerson is Aaron?" secular knowledge I had attained (1902-1994). I would not be the from my Ivy League education -- to Jewish woman I am today were it Moses said: "He is dead." elevate this all in the service of G-d not for him. He was my "teacher" in and Torah. He was indeed a many ways. The Talmud relates They said: "How could the vigorous supporter of Jewish (Sanhedrin 58a) that when R. angel of death strike a man women, spoke often of their Eliezer became critically ill and who has stood up to the greatness, held special gatherings close to death, he took his two angel of death and stopped specifically for women alone. He arms, folded them across his heart, him? ... If you bring him, initiated several campaigns to and said to his disciples: "Woe are good; but if not we will stone encourage Jewish women to you. My two arms are like two you!" perform the special mitzvot scrolls of the Torah that are rolled pertaining to them, and advocated and closed up. Much Torah I At that moment, Moses stood depth and breadth in their Torah learned and much Torah I taught: in prayer and said "Master of study (see my essay "Women and much Torah I learned, and I did not the Universe! Help clear me the Study of the Torah in the absorb from my teachers even as of this suspicion!" Thought of the Lubavitcher Rebbe: much as a dog could lick from the A Halakhic Analysis" in Jewish G-d opened the burial cave sea. Much Torah I taught, and what Legal Writings By Women (eds. and showed them, as it is my students absorbed from me was Micah Halperin and Channah Safrai; said, "And all the but as the drop of ink the quill takes from the ink well." All I managed to

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Jerusalem, Urim Press, 1998, pp. and I wrote, "Thus one can never Dr. Susan Handelman is a professor 142-177)). contain Torah, master it." In editing of English at the University of this manuscript, the Rebbe Maryland, College Park. A native of Oak Park, she is the author of two I once wrote an article based on one amended the sentence to read: hooks on Jewish thought and a of his talks, comparing the truths "Thus one can never contain all the translator of the Rebbe's book "On found in secular fields to those of content of even one d'var (sentence the Essence of Chassidus." Torah. I wrote of the ways in which of) Torah, master it." secular forms of knowledge are limited; yet these very limitations The Rebbe gave me, among so can give one a sense of satisfaction, many other things, this sense of a feeling that she or he has humility and awe before the mastered a field. The Torah, greatness of Torah. however, is unlimited and infinite,

The Most Joyous Pain culminating in five hours of passed, my contractions grew more By Sara Esther Crispe contractions with two-minute peaks, intense. Living in Jerusalem, we sixty seconds apart. were accustomed to this sound. Every time there is a siren you It is an experience so My second birth was intense and freeze. You freeze and pray that it intense that it is virtually painful as well, but fortunately, much won't be followed by more. But all Voices impossible to recollect. It is shorter. I was thrilled that I had too often it is. And then you wait for unlike anything else I have ever felt. made it through two natural births, the dreaded news of an attack. You It is all-consuming in a disabling yet producing two beautiful little girls. wait to hear where it was and then powerful way. It is something that panic until you locate everyone you only others who have undergone But this time, I could tell, would be know who could have been there. this journey can understand. It is the different. My water had already But you never really relax, because birthing of a child. broken yet I felt no pain. I knew it even though you escaped this one, was just a matter of time, that soon I how can you be sure you will My water broke around midnight. It would be overwhelmed. We escape the next? was my third birth and the first in arranged for our babysitter to come which my water broke before labor and for my labor coach to meet us We arrived at the hospital along with had even started. My first two labors at the hospital, hailed a cab and the victims. I could barely walk, were extremely difficult and were on our way. paralyzed by a combination of fear completely natural. Yet I feared that and pain. I tried not to look at the I didn't have the strength, either As we began to ride we heard bloody faces, the missing limbs. But mental or physical, to make it sirens. First one, quickly followed by there was no escaping the heart- through this one. another, then another, until their wrenching screams, the pleas for wailing filled the streets and pierced help, the wails of horror. I dreaded that it would be like my the skies. I then had a real first, with a 24-hour labor contraction. As each ambulance

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I couldn't even think straight. I forgot my body for the birth. How much many of those victims of the how to breathe, I forgot the positions more traumatic would a birth be if bombing would have thought they I had been taught, I forgot all the the body wasn't ready, if it hadn't could have endured and lived techniques. All I could do was let the made room for the baby to safely through so much suffering. How pain run through my body. I was pass through and emerge. quickly they would have traded immediately admitted and put in a places with me, traded their pain for birthing room. My labor coach Instead of dreading the pain and the pain of childbirth. helped me change into a hospital wishing it were over, I found myself robe and get onto the bed. I sat being grateful and thankful I don't think I could back, closed my eyes and tried to for each and every have appreciated focus. contraction. I felt blessed the birth had it not that I was fortunate enough been for the I was not aware of anybody or to be birthing a baby and intense process of anything else. I just allowed myself that my body was naturally labor. I prayed the to feel every contraction as it spread preparing itself to bring this whole time that throughout my body, climaxing each life into the world. As my this baby be born time in the most intense peak I had contractions intensified I healthy, that there ever experienced. I thought about thought about all those be no my pain, how much it hurt, how it others in pain, much more complications. I literally took my breath away, but severe pain than this, tried not to think of how, if I wanted, I could request coupled with trauma and what hurt me but anesthesia and make it go away. heartbreak, and how their pain had of how I was helping in the miracle Then I thought about all the people no apparent meaning or purpose. of bringing forth life. I didn't want, suffering in every other ward of the Their suffering seemed needless even for a split second, to wish it hospital. I thought about their agony, and unjust. Their suffering had no away, but rather to give meaning what had happened to their bodies, immediate end and certainly brought and purpose to every moment. And I and how they had no way of making no joy. realized that the very sound of a it disappear. If only they had an baby crying, that usually disturbed epidural, Demerol, or some other I prayed that the pain I was the peaceful quiet or would awaken form of pain relief as an answer to experiencing be the only pain that me from a deep sleep, was now the their suffering. anyone should ever know. I used to very sound I longed to hear. I listen to my friends talk about how wanted to hear my baby shriek, to But my pain had a purpose. A they could never have a natural announce to the world that he had beautiful purpose. My pain also had birth. They would declare that if they arrived, that he was healthy, that he an ending. And the ending was the couldn't have an epidural, they was strong. His cry would mean that greatest gift of all. I knew my would never have another baby. he was alive. contractions wouldn't last forever Then I thought about my friends and that its culmination would be a who still hadn’t been able to And as I waited and pushed and felt new life. Furthermore, I realized that conceive and how they would give my baby descend, I thought of how my pain was really a blessing. As anything for the very pain that fortunate I was. And I thought of much as it may have hurt, it was others are so quick to make those who were not able to carry a specifically what hurt that prepared disappear. And I wondered how baby, or those whose babies did not

Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 10 B"H Chabad.org let out that beautiful cry when they hope and prayer that soon they our experience. And that we would were born. And I thought of all those would be, too. And I cried for the remember the difference between suffering throughout the world. Of all victims who were suffering, and for the pain of suffering and the pain of those who were hungry, or poor, or the lives of those that had been joy. For if we cannot feel one, we disabled. Of those who had been taken away that day and the future can never appreciate the other. abused or neglected or abandoned. generations that would therefore And I hoped that I would never never be. We named our baby boy Netanel, forget the beauty of my pain and the meaning "gift from G-d," a living, lessons it had taught me. And as I cried I heard the most breathing, growing miracle. beautiful cry of all. My baby boy had As my baby began to enter this just ended one journey and was Sara Esther Crispe is a writer, editor, world, I let out a scream that I didn't about to begin another. He gulped inspirational speaker and teacher. know I was capable of. I cried so his first breath of air and he cried. She lives with her husband, Rabbi Asher Crispe, and their three children hard. I cried for my happiness and Suddenly all the pain disappeared. in Jerusalem, Israel. for the love within me that was Immediately, I was filled with joy. bursting out. And I cried for all those But I made a promise to myself and who were not so happy, with the to him that we would never forget

How to Agree to Disagree they each had their own story of mode, they should try and By Yaakov Lieder what actually took place. understand how the other person sees the situation and how they It is possible for two people to see have reached their particular "My husband refuses to and hear the same event and yet conclusions. assist me with putting the each has a totally different kids to sleep," a woman experience of what actually With the proper complained at one of our took place. Everything we attitude, a couple's workshops. To which her see, hear or feel is different ways of husband replied: "That's not processed and interpreted perceiving reality can

Relationships true. I have never refused to according to our past actually be a source help you!" "I don't know experiences. Being that all of joy and discovery. what's wrong with my wife," he of us have different past A wise man once continued. "She's starting to experiences, we will said: "If you and I hallucinate and make up things that ascribe different meanings, think alike, there is never happened!" and therefore have one of us too many." different versions, as to Become curious. Ask The next half an hour was spent on what happened. the other person questions such as, reviewing the events of the previous "What makes you see it in that evening. It became obvious that I suggested to the couple that way?" "What experiences did you instead of going into the blame

Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 11 B"H Chabad.org have in the past that may account interpret what happened in a my partner of what happened is for your interpretation of the story?" particular way; only once our partner focusing on the future." This change is sure that we understand him or of strategy will not only help resolve We are not required to agree with her correctly, can we move to the a current conflict, but is also sure to the other person; all we are trying to conclusion corner. bring about a better communication do is not to blame him or her for between the two partners and a his/her conclusions but simply to Because most people don't always more positive and harmonious understand them. Once someone is say what they think and think what future. convinced that we understand him, they say, the only way we can truly he is more likely to try and know what they are implying with Rabbi Yaakov Lieder has served as a understand us and our their words is not by assuming that teacher, principal and in a variety of interpretations of what happened. In we understand their meaning, but by other educational positions for more than 30 years in Israel, the US, and the worst possible scenario we can actually asking them straight out Sydney, Australia. He is the founder agree to disagree without affecting what they are implying. Many and director of the Support Centre to our ego. When we achieve this, it conflicts are based on aid families struggling with becomes easier to accept the other misunderstandings and jumping to relationship and child-rearing issues. person's view. conclusions before inquiring about Click here for more articles by Rabbi the perception and experience of Lieder. To drive this point home I suggested the other person. to the couple that they allocate two corners in the house: one to be To the couple with argument called the inquiry corner, the described above I put it this way: function of which is to inquire and "Focusing a discussion on what investigate what our partner is happened is focusing on the past; saying and what makes he or her focusing on what is the meaning for

Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 12 B"H Chabad.org The Man and the Century: a Biography of Ideas

The life story of the Lubavitcher in New York, where for the next bereavement; science, technology, Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. 50 years he transformed the very feminism, leadership, war, money, Schneersohn, parallels the story of fabric of Jewish life in every miracles... These are much more our century. Born in the corner of the globe. than life-events and life-tools: they Ukrainian-Russian town of are concepts to be pondered, Nikolaev in 1902, the Rebbe spent This timeline biography explores understood and developed in our the century's and his childhood in twenty-six milestones in the life's quest for goodness and G- pogrom-ridden Czarist Russia, the Rebbe's life and influence through dliness. And in the Rebbe's life 20's battling the Stalinist attempt text, pictures and film clips. The and teachings, these concepts take to eradicate Jewish life in the Rebbe was a man of ideas, so his on new dimensions, shine with a Soviet Empire, the 30's in Berlin biography is, first and foremost, a new light, and present us with new and Paris. In 1941 he escaped biography of ideas. Childhood, and revolutionary applications. Nazi-occupied Europe and settled education, marriage, work, illness,

We bring you on these pages a selection of the timeline articles on the Rebbe's life. For the complete timeline, including multimedia and images, see http://www.chabad.org/therebbe/home.asp?AID=61863

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1902: Childhood

The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel expounded upon in Schneerson, was born on Friday, April 18, 1902 his teachings and put (Nissan 11 on the Hebrew calendar) in the to practical use in his Ukrainian-Russian town of Nikolaev. programs.

His father, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak Schneerson, was a The Rebbe saw the renowned Kabbalist and Talmudic scholar; his child not merely as an mother, Rebbetzin Chanah, an aristocratic woman adult in the making, from a prestigious rabbinical family. but as a person with marked advantages of his or her own: the child's At age seven, the Rebbe moved with his parents to faith, trust, integrity, energy, enthusiasm, thirst for Yekatrinislav (today, Dnepropetrovsk), where Rabbi learning, conscientiousness, and sense of mission Levi Yitzchak was appointed Chief Rabbi of the city. and importance, are qualities to cultivated in the child and emulated by the adult. The purpose of Those were turbulent years for the Jews of Czarist education is not just to prime the child for adulthood, Russia, who were subject to pogroms and but also to nurture and preserve the gifts of persecutions. Rebbetzin Chanah told of one childhood and focus them on their proper and most occasion, in 1905, in which many Jewish families positive expressions. huddled in a hiding place while a pogrom raged outside. The babies and young children were wailing All this was not just theory to the Rebbe. In 1980 he in fright. Their parents' frantic efforts to silence them established Tzivot Hashem, his "children's army" to only increased their terror, and the danger of bring redemption to the world. But the Rebbe had discovery was imminent. It was young Mendel, little enlisted children in his work from the very start of his more than a toddler himself, who saved the day by leadership; they, in turn, were his most enthusiastic going from baby to baby and calming them with a and devoted "troops." Several times a year the softly laid hand or a soothing word. Rebbe addressed children's rallies. He spoke to them in their language, but never condescendingly, Years later, the Rebbe would describe his early issuing to them "orders of the day" that expressed childhood as a time in which his worldview and life's his regard for them as full-fledged participants in goals were already being formed. Indeed, the Rebbe man's mission in life. had a unique perspective on childhood, which he

Children have a strong sense of themselves as the center of the universe and are convinced that everything exists to serve them. There are, of course, negative aspects to such "self-centeredness", but the feeling itself--that the individual human being plays the central rule in the purpose of creation--is a positive one. Thus the Talmud states: "Every person is obligated to say: For my sake was the world created." The purpose of education is to direct this innate conviction toward its proper expression: that a person should appreciate that his every thought and deed is of real, even global, significance.

From an address by the Rebbe January 1990 (free translation)

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1939-45: Holocaust and Rebuilding

Like millions of his generation, the Rebbe was personally taught us that a moral and touched by the Holocaust. civilized existence is possible only through belief in and His younger brother, DovBer, was shot to death and thrown submission to a Higher into a mass grave, as were tens of thousands of other Jews in Power. a series of massacres conducted by the Germans shortly after their occupation of Dnepropetrovsk in fall of 1941. A beloved The Rebbe also said: Our grandmother and other family members were also killed. The outrage, our incessant Rebbe’s wife lost her younger sister Sheina, who perished in challenge to G-d over what Treblinka together with her husband and their adoptive son. has occurred--this itself is a most powerful attestation to our belief in Him and His goodness. Because if we did not, In his writings and discussions on the subject, the Rebbe underneath it all, possess this faith, what is it that we are rejected all theological explanations for the Holocaust. For outraged at? The blind workings of fate? The random what greater conceit, and what greater heartlessness, can arrangement of quarks that make up the universe? It is only there be than to give a reason for the death and torture of because we believe in G-d, because we are convinced that millions of innocent men, women and children? We can only there is right and there is wrong and that right must, and concede that there are things that lie beyond the finite ken of ultimately will, triumph, that we cry out, as Moses did: “Why, the human mind. Echoing his father-in-law, the Rebbe would my G-d, have you done evil to Your people?!” say: It is not my task to justify G-d on this. Only G-d Himself can answer for what He allowed to happen, and the only But the most important thing about the Holocaust to the Rebbe answer we will accept is the immediate and complete was not how we do or do not understand it, nor, even, how we Redemption that will forever banish evil from the face of the memorialize its victims, but what we do about it. If we allow the earth and bring to light the intrinsic goodness and perfection of pain and despair to dishearten us from raising a new G-d’s creation. generation of Jews with a strong commitment to their Jewishness, then Hilter’s “final solution” will be realized, G-d To those who argued that the Holocaust “disproves” the forbid. But if we rebuild, if we raise a generation proud and existence of G-d or His providence over our lives, the Rebbe secure in their Jewishness, we will have triumphed. said: On the contrary--the Holocaust has decisively disproven any possible faith in a human-based morality. For was it not This the Rebbe proceeded to do. Appointed by his father-in- the very people who epitomized culture, scientific advance and law to head the educational and social arms of Chabad, he set philosophic morality who perpetrated the most vile atrocities in motion the programs which, over the next half-century, known to human history? If nothing else, the Holocaust has would herald the renaissance of Jewish life in the post- holocaust world.

...To remember is indeed an imperative and a duty--particularly in light of the growing campaign to forget and to make forgotten. And yet, remembering is only one part of the task that rests upon us. The other, and far more crucial, part is to actively counteract Hitler's so-called "final solution"...

Your first duty is to live: to assume an ordered life, a married life, to establish a Jewish home and a Jewish family. This will most definitively underscore Hitler's defeat: that not only did he not succeed in eliminating a certain Vishnitzer Chassid, but that this Vishnitzer Chassid will raise up children and grandchildren, generations upon generations of Vishnitzer Chassidim. And I don't mean this as figure of speech--though it is less important if he be a Vishnitzer, or a Lubavitcher, or simply a Jew who lives his life in accordance with the Torah and its precepts...

Chabad.orgFreely translated Weekly Ma excergazinept from | Chukat a letter 5764 written by the Rebbe in 1965 to a Holocaust survivor 15 B"H Chabad.org

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1972: Retirement?

On the occasion of his 70th birthday, the Rebbe received minutes. But man was not thousands of letters from well-wishers across the globe. created to dance for hours on Among these were several that suggested that perhaps it is end. Man was created to time he considered "slowing down" and "taking it easy" after make life on earth purer, his many fruitful decades as a leader and activist. brighter and holier than it was before he came on the scene" The Rebbe's response was twofold. First, he announced that -- something that an older he is launching a campaign to open 71 new Chabad person can achieve no less, institutions in the course of the coming year. Then launched a and in certain ways much blistering attack on the very concept of "retirement." more, than a younger person.

On that and on other occasions over the next ten years, the But the Rebbe never criticized anything unless it was to Rebbe spoke about the injustice, impracticability and propose a corrective course of action. In 1980 he downright folly in shutting out the elderly from the orbit of established a global network of learning centers for retired productive life. After decades of achievement, their knowledge persons. The study of Torah will give them a new lease on and talent are suddenly deemed worthless; after decades of life, said the Rebbe. It will enlighten them to their true worth contributing to society, they are suddenly undeserving and potential, and transform them from futile has-beens into recipients, grateful for every time the younger generation takes beacons of light for their families and communities. off from work and play to drop by for a half-hour chat and the Retirement, if utilized properly, can be directed as the most requisite Father's Day necktie. potent force toward its ultimate eradication from the mind and life of man. On the surface, the modern-day attitude seems at least partly justified. Is it not a fact that a person physically weakens as he And how did the Rebbe celebrate his 80th birthday in 1982? or she advances in years? But this, said the Rebbe, is He again called for a massive expansion of Chabad's precisely the point: How is a person's worth to be measured? If activities in a farbrengen held in honor of the occasion. Upon his physical strength has waned while his life experience, the conclusion of the final segment of the six-hour address- sagacity and insight have grown, is this an improvement or a which began at 9:30 pm following a full day's work -- the decline? Rebbe personally distributed a gift to each of the 10,000 men, women and children present: a special edition of the "Indeed," said the Rebbe with a smile, "a twenty-year-old can Chassidic classic, the Tanya. The last participant received dance the night away while his grandmother tires after a few his Tanya at 6:15 am.

I have been asked: "Now that you have attained the age of 70, what are your plans? It would seem that this is an appropriate time to rest a bit…." My response to that is that we must begin to accomplish even more.

On the occasion of entering the seventies, this year we should establish at least seventy new institutions! I am a partner with everyone who will undertake these projects. We will cover Chabad.orgat least 10% Weekly of the expensesMagazine |of Chukat founding 5764 these 71 institutions. And don't be disturbed if during this year we'll start not 70 but 80, and maybe even 100, on the contrary! - may blessings be bestowed upon all those involved - 16 there will surely be no impediments as far as the ten percent is concerned From an address by the Rebbe (free translation) B"H Chabad.org

Parshah Chukat Numbers 19:1-22:1

Moses is taught the laws of the Red Heifer, whose ashes purify a person who has been contaminated by contact with a dead body.

After 40 years of journeying through the desert, the people of Israel arrive in the wilderness of Zin. Miriam dies and the people thirst for water. G-d tells Moses to speak to a rock and command it to give water. Moses gets angry at the rebellious Israelites and strikes the stone. Water issues forth, but Moses is told by G-d that neither he nor Aaron will enter the Promised Land.

Aaron dies at Hor Hahar and is succeeded in the High Priesthood by his son Elazar. Venomous snakes attack the Israelite camp after yet another eruption of discontent in which the people "speak against G-d and Moses"; G-d tells Moses to place a brass serpent upon a high pole, and all who will gaze heavenward will be healed. The people sing a song in honor of the miraculous well that provided the water in the desert.

Moses leads the people in battles against the Emorite kings Sichon and Og (who seek to prevent Israel's passage through their territory) and conquers their lands, which lie east of the Jordan.

Chabad.org Weekly Magazine | Chukat 5764 17 B"H Chabad.org Week At A Glance s u n d a y proclaim openly and before all that any matter affecting the Jewish Tammuz 1 | June 20 religion, Torah, and its mitzvot and customs is not subject to the Rosh Chodesh coercion of others. No one can impose his belief upon us, nor coerce Laws & Customs: Rosh Chodesh observances us to conduct ourselves contrary to our beliefs!" Today is the second of the two Rosh Chodesh ("Head of the (On the 12th of Tammuz, after serving only nine days of his three Month") days for the Jewish month of Tammuz (when a month has year term, Rabbi Yosef Yizchak was informed that he was free to 30 days, both the last day of the month and the first day of the return home. Shortly thereafter, he was allowed to leave the Soviet following month serve as the following month's Rosh Chodesh). union andresettled in Riga, Latvia.) Special portions are added to the daily prayers: Hallel (Psalms 113- 118) is recited -- in its "partial" form -- following the Shacharit Rebbe's yahrtzeit (1994) morning prayer, and the Yaaleh V'yavo prayer is added to the In the early morning hours of the 3rd of Tammuz, 5754 (June 12, Amidah and to Grace After Meals; a special version of the Musaf 1994), the soul of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel prayer is said. Schneerson (b. 1902), ascended on high, orphaning a generation. ------Laws & Customs: Yahrtzeit observances m o n d a y ------Tammuz 2 | June 21 On This Date: Birth (1562 BCE) and passing (1452 BCE) of w e d n e s d a y Joseph Tammuz 4 | June 23 ------On This Date: Passing of Rabbeinu Tam (1171) Rabbi Yaakov ben Meir of Romereau (1100?-1171), known as t u e s d a y "Rabbeinu Tam", was a grandson of Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Tammuz 3 | June 22 Yitzchaki, 1040-1105), and one of the primary authors of the On This Date: Joshua stops sun (1237 BCE) Tosaphot commentary on the Talmud; the Bet-Din (rabbinical On the third of Tammuz of the year 2488 from creation (1273 court) he headed was regarded as the leading Torah authority of his BCE), Joshua was leading the Jewish people in one of the battles to generation. conquer the Land of Israel. Victory was imminent, but darkness was about to fall. "Sun," proclaimed Joshua, "be still at Giv'on; moon, at ------the Ayalon valley" (Joshua 10:12). The heavenly bodies acquiescenced, halting their progress through the sky until Israel's t h u r s d a y armies brought the battle to its successful conclusion. Tammuz 5 | June 24 On This Date: Ezikiel's vision of the "Chariot" (429 BCE) Lubavitch fire (1851) On the 5th of Tammuz of the year 3332 from creation (429 BCE), A great fire destroyed much of the town of Lubavitch, including the Ezikiel, the only one of the Prophets to prophesy outside of the home of the third Chabad Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Holy Land, beheld a vision of the Divine "Chariot" representing the Lubavitch (the "Tzemach Tzeddek", 1749-1826) and many spiritual infrastructure of creation. invaluable manuscripts of Chassidic teaching. Maharam imprisoned (1286) R. Yosef Yitzchak released from prison (1927) Rabbi Meir ben Baruch ("Maharam") of Rothenburg (1215?-1293), The 6th Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn the great Talmudic commentator and leading Halachic authority for (1880-1950), who was arrested on Sivan 15 of 1927 by agents of the German Jewry, was imprisoned in the fortress at Ensisheim . A GPU (soviet secret police) and the Yevsketzia ("Jewish section" of huge ransom was imposed for his release. The money was raised, the Communist Party) for his work to preserve and disseminate but Rabbi Meir refused to allow it to be paid lest this encourage the Jewish learning and observance throughout the Soviet Empire. Held further hostage taking of Jewish leaders. He died in captivity after in the notorious Spalerno prison in Leningrad, he was repeatedly seven years of imprisonment. interrogated and beaten. Initially sentenced to death, international ------pressure compelled the Soviet regime to first commute the sentence to ten years hard labor in Siberia, and then to a three-year term of f r i d a y exile in Kostrama, a town in the interior of Russia. Tammuz 6 | June 25 On This Date: Entebbe Rescue (1976) On the 3rd of Tammuz, 18 days after his arrest, he was released Jewish hostages held by Arab terrorists at Entebbe Airport, Uganda, from prison and allowed six hours at home before reporting to the were rescued by Israeli commando units in 1976. Leningrad train station to embark on his exile. Many gathered at the station to see him off. Though he knew that there were GPU agents Light Shabbat Candles before sunset present, he spoke to assembled crowd, encouraging them to persist ------in the very activities for which he had been arrested. "This," he s h a b b a t proclaimed "all the nations of the world must know: Only our Tammuz 7 | June 26 bodies were sent into exile and subjugated to alien rule; our souls Torah reading: Chukat (Numbers 19:1-22:1) were not given over into captivity and foreign rule. We must Haftarah: Judges 11 Ethics of the Fathers: Ch. 5

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