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It's Bigger Than Bullying

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It's Bigger Than Bullying IT’S BIGGER THAN BULLYING. A RESOURCE GUIDE FOR WISCONSIN STUDENTS AND FAMILIES BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ACLU OF WISCONSIN In the state of Wisconsin, all students are guaranteed an adequate education by our state constitution. Unfortunately, we still receive many heartbreaking phone calls and emails at the ACLU of Wisconsin each year. Callers tell us stories of young people whose right to education is being infringed upon by other students or staff bullying them. Therefore, we are creating this guide as a means of helping those individuals by providing them with the clear direction they may need to navigate the many issues that arise through bullying. We hope readers will better understand their civil liberties and civil rights, find solutions, and ensure children have access to an adequate education and a safe learning environment. The ACLU of Wisconsin is the state affiliate of the national ACLU and is a non-profit, non-partisan, private organization. The ACLU of Wisconsin has 7,000 members and is dedicated to defending the civil liberties and civil rights of all Wisconsin residents. TABLE OF CONTENTS Part 1: It Gets Better NOW - For Students Chapter 1: What Is Bullying? ................................................................ 1 Chapter 2: Your Rights ...................................................................... 3 Chapter 3: What Can I Do If I’m Being Bullied? .............................................5 Part 2: Be Their Advocate - For Parents Chapter 4: My Child Is Being Bullied ....................................................... 7 Chapter 5: What Is My School Supposed to Do? .......................................... 9 Chapter 6: Model Anti-Bullying Policies .................................................... 12 Chapter 7: My School Isn’t Helping Me to My Satisfaction . 21 Chapter 8: I’m Worried My Child or Friend Is a Bully ...................................... 27 Part 3: What if…? - Special Topics in Bullying Chapter 9: Cyberbullying .................................................................. 31 Chapter 10: What If the Bully Is an Adult? .................................................. 34 Chapter 11: Sexual Harassment, Predators, and Sexual Contact . 37 Chapter 12: Race-Based Bullying and Mascots ..............................................40 Chapter 13: Bullying and LGBTQ Students ................................................. 43 Part 4: Active Bystanders - For Teachers & Community Members Chapter 14: Religion ........................................................................ 48 Chapter 15: How Can I Be an Advocate? .................................................. 50 Chapter 16: I Want To Address Bullying With My Students . 52 Part 5: Never Alone - Where Can I Go For Help? Chapter 17: What Support is in my Area? .................................................. 56 Chapter 18: National Resources ........................................................... 63 Special Thanks / Contact Us ................................................................... 64 1WHAT IS BULLYING? What’s in a name? There are a lot of different definitions, but most people agree that there are three main things that define bullying: 1. Imbalance of power. Bullies use power to control or harm people who struggle to defend themselves. 2. Intent to cause harm. Bullying isn’t an accident: bullies want to hurt the people they target. 3. Repetition. The harassment happens again and again to the same person, and comes from the same bully or group of bullies. WHAT IS BULLYING? | ACLU-WI.ORG Under Wisconsin state law, bullying is known as harassment: behavior that is purposefully intimidating or demeaning, and interferes with your school performance and/or physical or psychological well-being. It’s true that everyone has the right to free speech under the U.S. Constitution but schools have a responsibility to step in if that speech is hurtful or slanderous, creates an immediate danger or disruption, or encourages students to do something that’s illegal or against school rules. Bullying can come from a classmate, teacher or other administration. The reason doesn’t matter: whether it’s because of your sex, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, disability, religion, or something entirely different, it’s illegal under state law. There are many different kinds of bullying. Here are just some examples of many: • Verbal: Name calling, taunting, sexual comments. • Social: Spreading rumors, embarrassing people publicly, breaking up friendships. • Physical: Hitting, punching, shoving, inappropriate touching. • Cyberbullying: Sending hurtful texts and voicemails to others; spreading rumors or lies via email, text, or social media; creating and sharing hurtful personal memes and fake photos (including fake porn); creating slanderous websites, videos or fake social media profiles that embarrass, humiliate and/or make fun of others; pretending to be someone or hacking into social media profiles, posting humiliating information (this can be considered identify theft), and all other internet use for slanderous purposes. But not everything counts as bullying. Bullying isn’t... • A single act of social rejection or dislike. • An isolated incident of name calling. • Random acts of intimidation or aggression. • Mutual arguments, disagreements, or fights. • Defending yourself against attack. • Speaking up when you or someone you know needs help. • Reporting another student for bullying. If you’re not sure if what’s happening to you is bullying, talk to a trusted friend or adult. 2 2YOUR RIGHTS YOUR RIGHTS | ACLU-WI.ORG There are three key things to know about bullying: You’re not at fault, you’re not alone, and even more importantly... you have rights. As a student, you have a right to an “adequate education.” We say it like that because it’s guaranteed to you by the Wisconsin State Constitution. If bullying is making you feel unsafe or affecting your performance at school, your constitutional rights are being violated. Wisconsin State Law Under state law (Wisconsin State Statute The First Amendment: 118.46), you have the right to report bullying Sometimes, bullies will try to dodge blame by to a teacher or administrator. The person who claiming that you’re violating their First Amendment receives your report must take it seriously, rights. They’re wrong. It’s true that everyone has the meaning they must actually investigate it, and right to free speech under the U.S. Constitution both support and protect you against any but schools have an obligation to intervene if that backlash for making the report. While you’re speech is legally “obscene” or slanderous (a lie; talking with your school, you do not have to knowingly untrue in order to harm someone else’s sign or write anything against your will or talk reputation), creates an immediate disruption or to police without a parent or guardian present. danger, or causes students to do something that is Ask your parent or guardian to be there as illegal or against school rules. Don’t take our word often as you have to, regardless of perceived for it. In his decision for Saxe v. State College Area or threatened consequences. You shouldn’t School District, now Supreme Court Justice Samuel sign anything without your parent or guardian Alito wrote: present. “Speech that would ‘substantially interfere’ with a Civil Rights: student’s educational performance is prohibited. The Bullying can be a violation of your civil rights. primary function of a public school is to educate its Your school is required to respond to bullying students; conduct that substantially interferes with based on the following federal laws: the mission is, almost by definition, disruptive to the • Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964: no school environment.” discrimination on the basis of race, color, or national origin. Simply stated, your right to be educated outweighs • Title IX of the Education Amendments of the bully’s need to try and torment you. DO NOT 1972: no discrimination on the basis of sex. let someone else’s twisting and misinterpretation of • Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of the law get in the way of your education! 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990: no discrimination on the basis of disability. 4 WHAT CAN I DO IF I’M BEING BULLIED? We have all heard the phrase “it gets better.” It’s true, and you should try to remember that your current problems are only temporary. 3Even so, when being bullied, this may seem like just so many empty words. You really want to know how you can fix this now! WHAT CAN I DO IF I’M BEING BULLIED? | ACLU-WI.ORG WHAT CAN I DO IF Here are some tips that you can use to take a stand here and now: 1. Know that this is not your fault. No matter what you think you have done to cause it, no one I’M BEING BULLIED? deserves to be bullied. Not ever. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. 2. Resist the urge to “get even” and become a bully yourself. Don’t let the bully win by changing who you are. Be the one to break the cycle. 3. Confide in a friend, relative or mentor. Reach out to someone you trust. Bullies pick on those they think are alone or unsupported. Don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor or school psychologist, visit a safe space in your community (Chapter 6) or call an anonymous crisis hotline (Chapter 12). 4. Speak up! Tell your favorite teacher, counselor, or anyone you trust who will listen about what’s going on. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone at your school, go to cyberbullyingreport. com, a free service available to anyone with an email address. Your education and future are on the line. You’ve got everything to gain by reaching out for help. 5. If you’re being cyberbullied, • Watch what you post and send- if it’s posted or texted, it’s no longer yours. Any cyberbully can screenshot and share it. As a general rule, if you’re not comfortable with everyone seeing it, don’t send it. This applies to Snapchat, Instagram and probably things that aren’t invented yet. • Don’t feed the trolls! Never respond to negative or threatening messages about you. Adjust your privacy settings to block those users from seeing your profile or account.
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