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Zoosmell Pooplord Senior z Calliope's Update Girl – Book One by ASBusinessMagnet Summary for the series: "The life of a Homestuck character, within the bounds of Homestuck, is hard. The life of a Homestuck character, taken entirely outside of the context of Homestuck and placed in a universe where Homestuck exists, is somehow even harder. It doesn't help that, whenever you go anywhere, people are always insisting you are a roleplayer and/or a cosplayer, but yet, somehow things become even worse when a madman, one who calls himself Andrew Hussie, makes you read about the adventures you never had. Little do you know, though, that you're literally entering an epic of space and time, of joy and sorrow, of hilarity and sobriety, and that it'll change your lives. Is it for the better? Is it for the worse? You will have to decide for yourselves." Summary for Book One: "Calliope and Caliborn are pretty much your ordinary neighborhood aliens, mocked for not being human but otherwise living on just fine. However, this is about to change as four long-term friends enter the scene, followed by another man, seemingly a full-time Internet resident. Suffice to say, he has been holding a dark secret concerning them all." Reimagining of Calliope and the Final Update. Full1 clarification of AU: • The beta kids never played Sburb. They have been living with their guardians and leading ordinary human lives. • The cherubim don't share a body, but that doesn't mean they have a human form (think their dreamselves in canon). Likewise, they never played Sburb. They have been living together on present-day Earth ever since they hatched. • The post-Scratch trolls (who make a debut in Loading Screen 1) have successfully completed Sgrub and were granted access to the Earth, but instead of becoming literal gods, were scattered across the United States and have been struggling to live human lives ever since. Drop a comment on one of the online versions of the story: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10726027/1/ http://archiveofourown.org/works/2382974/chapters/5264753 http://nanowrimo.org/participants/asbusinessmagnet/novels/calliope -s-update-girl-book-one (doesn't contain the entire text of the story or allow comments) 1 Clarification does not include anything that could be a potential spoiler. TABLE OF CONTENTS SORTED BY THE STAGES AND CHAPTERS OF THE STORY Stage 1: Together at Last – Chapters 1 to 14 1.1. The Cherubim ............................................................................................................... 1 1.2. The Home Thing........................................................................................................... 2 1.3. Green Ghost .................................................................................................................. 4 1.4. Blue Atom .................................................................................................................... 7 1.5. Orchid Horror ............................................................................................................. 10 1.6. Red Disc ..................................................................................................................... 12 1.7. The Incident ................................................................................................................ 14 1.8. The Revelation............................................................................................................ 17 1.9. Zoosmell Pooplord ..................................................................................................... 22 1.10. Captchalogue .............................................................................................................. 26 1.11. Arms ........................................................................................................................... 30 1.12. The Calendar .............................................................................................................. 33 1.13. The Breakout .............................................................................................................. 36 1.14. The Anniversary ......................................................................................................... 39 Stage 2: Acts of an Unscrupulous Puppetmaster – Chapters 15 to 28 2.1 (15). Blue Atom Redux ....................................................................................................... 43 2.2 (16). First Shots Called ....................................................................................................... 46 2.3 (17). A Strange Turn of Events ........................................................................................... 48 2.4 (18). The Afterthoughts ....................................................................................................... 51 2.5 (19). Getting Ready ............................................................................................................. 55 2.6 (20). Zoosmell Pooplord Senior .......................................................................................... 59 2.7 (21). Actual Story ................................................................................................................ 61 2.8 (22). Mere Human Minds .................................................................................................... 63 2.9 (23). Support Group ............................................................................................................ 66 2.10 (24). Purple Prose ................................................................................................................ 69 2.11 (25). Second Read ............................................................................................................... 72 2.12 (26). Full of Blocks ............................................................................................................. 75 2.13 (27). Style of Humor ........................................................................................................... 77 2.14 (28). Other Fandoms ........................................................................................................... 80 Loading Screen 1: Scattered yet United – Chapters 29 to 42 I.1 (29). Judge Pyrope .............................................................................................................. 83 I.2 (30). Marquise Mindfang .................................................................................................... 86 I.3 (31). Trollsonas ................................................................................................................... 89 I.4 (32). OB............................................................................................................................... 92 I.5 (33). Eternal Futility ............................................................................................................ 95 I.6 (34). Deep History ............................................................................................................... 98 I.7 (35). Terminal Condition .................................................................................................. 101 ii Calliope's Update Girl – Book One I.8 (36). Walks Without Legs ................................................................................................. 104 I.9 (37). Good Grammar Books .............................................................................................. 107 I.10 (38). Disrespectful ............................................................................................................. 110 I.11 (39). Blackrom .................................................................................................................. 113 I.12 (40). They Play a Game .................................................................................................... 116 I.13 (41). In the Middle of Packing .......................................................................................... 119 I.14 (42). Cosplayer .................................................................................................................. 121 Stage 3: Painful yet Consistent Progression – Chapters 43 to 49 3.1 (43). Talking to Himself .................................................................................................... 125 3.2 (44). Dying Twice or Thrice ............................................................................................. 128 3.3 (45). Tommy Wiseau ........................................................................................................ 131 3.4 (46). Non-Choice............................................................................................................... 134 3.5 (47). Representation of the World ..................................................................................... 137 3.6 (48). Greco-Roman Stuff .................................................................................................. 140 3.7 (49). Peculiar Arrows ........................................................................................................ 143 Stage 4: So You're Karkat Vantas – Chapters 50 to 63 4.1 (50). Tenderness ................................................................................................................ 147 4.2 (51). Missing in Action ..................................................................................................... 151 4.3 (52). The Bills ..................................................................................................................
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