Name:

Read the about personal and answer the followup questions.

Keys To Effective Communication Effective communication is important in problem solving, conflict resolution, for positive working and personal relationships, and in reducing the stresses associated with interpersonal interactions.

Communication Tips

❖ Open the door to two-way conversation. Encourage questions. Ask questions. ❖ Consider the sender/receiver’s strengths and weaknesses, and communicate in the manner that is best accepted by the sender/receiver. ❖ Paraphrase what you heard back to the speaker, to ensure you have a common understanding. ❖ Don’t be thrown off course by words that affect you emotionally. Continue to listen even when the urge is to start debate. ❖ Communicate to be understood. Many people communicate to impress – not express. Use short words that communicate clearly and concretely; present one idea, at the most two ideas, in one sentence. Avoid jargon. Use strong verbs. Avoid passive voice as much as possible. ❖ Be open to feedback. ❖ Be an active listener.

Active Listening Tips

❖ Listen with purpose. Ask yourself “What worthwhile idea is being expressed?”... “ What is being said that I can use?” ❖ Judge content not delivery. Look beyond the speaker’s delivery and concentrate on what is being said. ❖ Keep your emotions in check. Avoid becoming over stimulated by what the speaker says. Avoid allowing your own biases or values to detract from the speaker’s message. ❖ Listen for the main idea or central themes of the message. ❖ Be flexible. Find a variety of ways to remember what you hear. Find a variety of note keeping techniques to help you remember. ❖ Work at listening. Give your full attention to the speaker. Face the speaker. Use facial expressions that indicate you are following what the speaker is saying. ❖ Resist distractions. Concentrate on what the speaker is saying. Stay focused on the situation at hand. ❖ Keep an open mind. Avoid developing blind spots regarding cherished convictions. When you hear “red-flag” words keep your emotions in check. ❖ Capitalize on thought speed. Most of us talk about 120 words a minute. Our thinking speed is about 500 words a minute. Thus there is a lot of time to spare while a person is speaking to us. Don’t let your mind wander and then dart back to the conversation. Use the spare time to advantage by thinking about what is being said; try to anticipate the point; mentally summarize the point so far; mentally question any supporting points; look for nonverbal clues to the meaning.

Examples of Active Listening

TYPE OF STATEMENT: DESIRED RESULTS: EXAMPLE: ​ ​ ​ Encouraging Convey Interest “I see...... ” Speaker continues to talk. “That’s interesting...”

Clarifying or Obtain more information “Can you tell me more?” open-ended questions “Is there anything else?” “How do you see the situation?”

Restating Show speaker that Listener is “As I understand it, your idea listening is..” Let speaker know Listener “Do you mean, for example, understands facts that...?” “In other words, this is what happened...”

Reflecting Show understanding of “You feel that.....” speaker’s view of situation “You seem pretty concerned about...” “Sounds like you...... ” “So you would like to see.....”

Silence Or Pause Encourages reflection. Allows speaker to fully express ideas. Summarizing Shows grasp of situation or “These seem to be the key ideas problem you have expressed...” Highlight key facts and ideas. “Let me summarize...” Non-Verbal Communication Over 55% of the message is sent nonverbally - through body . Become sensitive to non-verbal messages. Look for such things as body position and movement, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, silence, use of space and time, etc.

❖ Eye Contact. If you look someone in the eye, they pay more attention to what is being said. ❖ Posture. Good posture is a sign of confidence and creates a sense of trust in your skills and abilities. ❖ Gestures. Use only the body movements and gestures necessary to make your point. Excessive motions are distracting to the listener. ❖ Expression. Your expressions sometimes say more the words you speak. Try to smile and show interest when you speak.

Nearly 40% of your message is not in what you say, but instead, how you say it.

❖ Tone.. Start noticing how your tone of voice affects how others respond to you and ​ try using your tone to emphasize ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show genuine interest in something, express your enthusiasm by using an animated tone of voice. Such signals not only convey your feelings about a topic; they can also help generate interest in the people listening to you speak.

Avoid Communication Stoppers Behaviors and phrases that often stop a person from communicating:

ORDERING “Don’t talk like that.”

WARNING “If you do that, you’ll be sorry.”

MORALIZING “You ought/should....”

ADVISING “I suggest that you...”

REASON WITH “Let’s look at the facts.”

DIAGNOSING “You feel that way because...”

JUDGING “You are wrong about that.”

NAME CALLING “You are acting like....”

DISTRACTING “Let’s talk about something else.”

INTERRUPTING “But what about...”

Questions for your review.

Write out your answers to each question: 1. Why is it important to develop personal communications skills?

2. What are your biggest struggles communicating one-on-one with others?

3. What does it mean to be an active listener?

4. Are you a good listener? Why or why not?

5. Why is it so important for others to be heard?

6. Think about the last time you had a miscommunication with someone. Was the issue non-verbal, the tone or what was said? Explain the scenario and how the miscommunication could have been avoided.

7. Are you guilty of using conversation stoppers? When, why or with who do you most utilize them?

8. Can you think of a time when it is alright to disagree with the communication tips provided at the beginning of this lesson? For example, when should we not encourage feedback, be an active listener, etc.?

9. How do you personally respond to someone who is a poor listener/communicator?

10. Who is the best communicator you know? What specifically about this person stands out?