OLD GUARD AS THE CANNON ROARS, THE PRESS WILL ROLL. VOL. XXXXII Issue 4 April 2009 PROM by Jenna Knapp

Time- Begins at 8:30 p.m. Grand March at 9:00 p.m. Ends at 12:00 a.m.

Cost- $3.00 Individual, $5.00 Couple

Theme-Central Park, NYC at Night

Walking Song- Electric Avenue by Eddy Grant Parent Song- My Wish by Rascal Flatts Class Song- Our Time Now by Plain White Tees BADGER STATE GAMES Couple Song- Another Heart Calls by All-American Rejects The 25th annual American Fam- ily Insurance Badger State Sum- Post Prom-Will be at Knuckleheads! Only $5.00. mer Games will take place June 25-28, 2009, in the Fox Cities. Other Reminders to Junior Class This will mark the first year the Court must be at High School from 5-6 p.m. for Fox Cities will play host to the run through and pictures! Games, offering many opportuni- ties for businesses and individuals -Also, everyone is required to be at the gym at 9 to get involved. There are over a.m. on Sunday for clean-up! 25 different sports to choose from and all ages and skill levels are Comments from the Junior Class: welcome.

“It’s okay that I am walking with Brendan, but I’d rather be walking with Edward Cullen.” –Lauren Acker This year the Sports Development Corporation “When in doubt, chicken out.” –Brendan Pittman (WSDC, the non-profit owner of the Summer and Winter Games) “Our grade is going to dominate, watch out.” –Cam Jeglum will award over $5000 in grants

“I’m down with what’s up.” –Nick Stuessy to nine Wisconsin K-12 physical education programs. Every per- Learn from Mr. Tordoff’s prom no-no’s . . . son who registers for the Games Never let your date throw up on you at dinner, and remem- can vote for any Wisconsin public ber not to leave your date in the backseat of your car after she passes out due to a long night of dancing. or private K-12 school. The conference meet vs. Cam- Knights are improving every top small, medium and large bridge and Marshall was very day. Although their record school in each of three regions successful as we came out on may not show their true ac- will be awarded a cash grant top and defeathered those complishments, they are for their physical education birds from the north. Al- working hard and becoming program. More information is though muscle man Towie one with the force. Coach available at badger- Bowie has been sidelined with Wahl is training them well as stategames.org. a hamstring injury, he looks to they gear up for what I expect get back into the game and to be a great run in the second lead the boy’s track to com- half of the season. peting for their 10th straight ANCHOR YOUR LEADERSHIP conference title. Upcoming meets include: Oregon Re- WITH FCCLA lays, Conference meet vs. Marshall, and Deerfield Clas- sic

Golf: I don’t really know a lot about boys except that they have great senior leader- SPRING SPORTS ship in Alex “on the juice” by Brendan Pittman Johnson, Logan Logwood and, Andrew “never misses” Well, it’s getting to be that Moreland. My only advice is time of year again. The give it a home...the golf ball spring sports season is up and that is. running and most teams are looking sharp. Almost a : Although the by Julie Gartzke month into the season, we baseball team has not won a have had teams competing game thus far, they look for New Glarus FCCLA members every night looking to get bet- their first win against either have been anchoring their ter so as when tournament Waterloo or Monticello, two leadership throughout the time comes around in late teams that are also struggling school year. The high school May, they will be hitting their this season. Seniors Matt Felt FCCLA members who at- peak. Every team has had its and Dakota Worden look to tended the State Leadership ups and downs, but they are lead the Knights to a more Conference—Laura Paulson, now starting to use the force productive second half of the Alex Courtney, Susanna and realize their true potential. season Rupp, Jessie Pratt, and Jenna Below are summaries of the Romich—enjoyed a weekend spring sports teams so far: Soccer: Hannah Kernen’s a stay at the Kalahari Resort in beast and Michelle Preston is the Wisconsin Dells where Track: We have had six a baller. Except for one loss, they developed their leader- meets so far. Tri-State Invite, the soccer team has gone un- ship skills and prepared them- Pioneer Invite, McFarland defeated with leadership from selves for life. They attended Quad, Cambridge Invite, Con- the many seniors on the team. several general sessions as ference Meet vs. Cambridge well as “breakout sessions” and Marshall, and the Water- which aided them in their : Led by fireballer journey to success. They also town Gosling Invite. Our Kelsey Smidts, the Lady participated in the community service event “Split, Spare, Strike, Grant a Wish To- night,” which raised over $3,000 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Wisconsin.

Susanna Rupp received a Sil- ver in her STAR event.

Alex Courtney, Laura Paul- son, and Jessie Pratt all re- ceived Golds in their respec- tive STAR events. Alex Courtney and Jessie Pratt are National Qualifiers. Ask them for details.

Laura Paulson finished her reign as State Vice President, handing over the title to Cait- lin Malin. on. Two tables were made es- Jessie Pratt was elected to NEW GLARUS FFA pecially for the Silent Auction Middle Level Representative. HOLDS 70TH ANNUAL by Daren Wittmann. After the All of these members enjoyed meal the 2009-10 officer team anchoring their leadership AWARDS BANQUET held their baked goods auction. with the State Executive by Kevin Yaun The auction helped the new of- Council Pirates. AARRRR! ficer team start out their year on Upcoming events include a On April 26, New Glarus FFA a good foot, financially. blood drive and several meet- held their annual banquet. ings. Stay tuned to the an- This was the 70th Annual After the opening ceremony, the nouncements and the FCCLA Awards Banquet. This ban- Greenhand degrees were board for dates and times. quet was particularly impor- handed out. This is presented to tant for the chapter advisor, FFA members on the comple- Mr. Ziegler. Mr. Ziegler has tion of their first year as a mem- dedicated himself to the NG ber. Recipients were: Yanet FFA Chapter for the past 25 Alba, Bryce Anderson, Kelsey years. The banquet recog- Bartle, Nicole Berndt, Brandi nized members and supporters Dahlk, Kyle Burke, Katie for their hard work and ac- Burke, Elizabeth Foxen, Eric complishments throughout Felt, Evan Hauge, Charlie How- another memorable year. den, John Klossner, Carlton Lease, RayShawn Kraus, The banquet started off with a Katrina Nass, Aaron Nimtz, meal for members, alumni, Chris Pickett, Jenna Romich, and their families. Before and Susanna Rupp, Briana Schu- during the meal, people were mann, Anysia Secord, Nick allowed to bid on prizes in the Stuessy, Jenna Sunderlage, and “Silent Auction.” There were Mike Vetterli. many items for people to bid Next were the Chapter De- sophomore; Chelsy Gilson and the Janesville tractor driv- grees that are given to FFA and Daren Wittmann, juniors; ing. John Klossner and Katie members completing their and Brock Jenson and Kari Burke participated in Creed second year. Recipients were: Yaun, seniors. The Scholastic Speaking, Melissa Disch in Morgan Behnke, Dallas Bo- Award was presented to the Discussion, Jenna Sunderlage ley, Taylor Clark, Alex Court- top FFA member in each in Extemporaneous Speaking, ney, Michelle Disch, Tyler grade: Jenna Romich, fresh- and Kari Yaun in Job Inter- Dorn, Dacy Durst, Calsea men; Kyle Burke, sophomore; view. Brock Jenson and Chris Garbe, Michael Hanson, Cameron Jeglum, junior; and Kempfer were acknowledged Daniel Harried, Chelsea Hol- Janna LeGros, senior. for going to the tractor driving ler, Adam Larson, Carlin event. Moen, Tashina Murphy, Lau- The “Year in Review” pro- ren Narveson, Kaylee Plan- vided the members, alumni, The trap shoot team and Ap- tikow, Maegen Roesslein, and family members with a pleton judging team were Fatima Segura, Jessica look back at the hard work honored for their participation Schieldt, Siera Winkers, and good times enjoyed by in competition. Desyra Ott Kevin Yaun, and Paula Zuber. FFA members. After this, Mr and Kari Yaun were recog- Ziegler presented special rec- nized as top sellers for the New Glarus Dairy Queen ognitions and awards. fruit sales—Desyra for fall Chelsy Gilson presented a and Kari for spring. Daren speech about her past year as Kari Yaun will receive $250 Wittmann was honored for Dairy Queen. She stated that at the State FFA Convention placing 17th in the State Sil- she enjoyed the experience in June for her State Public ver Proficiency for Sheep Pro- and encouraged others to try Service Announcement. Kari duction. Daren will also re- for Dairy Queen. was accepted into the State ceive his State FFA Degree at FFA Band for her fourth, and State Convention this June. The New Glarus FFA was final, year in a row. The New Brock Jenson was honored honored to have two state Glarus FFA web masters, Kari with a special award—the FFA officers attend the ban- Yaun and Jenna Sunderlage, Senior Dekalb Award. quet. State officers Kimberly were recognized for their hard Forrester and Tommy Butts work on the New Glarus FFA The 2008-09 officer team did were the chapter’s honored website. a great job during the past guests. Kim gave a motiva- school year. This team con- tional speech about “not giv- Seven trophies were given out sisted of Brock Jenson ing up on your goals.” After to members participating in (President), Desyra Ott (Vice her speech Kim was presented the Belleville speaking contest with an engraved table by the chapter treasurer, Daren Witt- mann.

The next awards to be handed out were the Leadership and Scholastic awards. Leader- ship awards were presented by grade level to those show- ing outstanding leadership abilities. This year’s recipi- ents were: John Klossner, freshmen; Kevin Yaun, President), Ryan Larson (Student Advisor), Daren Wittmann (Treasurer), Chelsy Gilson (Secretary), Melissa Disch (Reporter), Chris Kempfer (Sentinel), and Lauren Narveson (Student Senate Representative). The future looks just as bright with the announcement of the 2009-10 officer team: Chelsy Gilson (President), John Kloss- ner (Vice President), Lauren Narveson (Student Advisor), Chris Pickett (Treasurer), Siera Winkers (Secretary), Kevin Yaun (Reporter), Daren Witt- mann (Sentinel), and Michelle Disch (Student Senate Represen- Who was on the trip with you What was it like to vacation in tative). again? Costa Rica?

The 70th annual New Glarus Heather-There were a Heather- It was just so FFA Awards Banquet ended total of twelve kids. Eight beautiful. It was a lot hotter with the drawing for the door were hearing students and than here though. And very prizes that were graciously do- four were hearing impaired/ humid! nated by local businesses. The deaf. We had Kari and an- New Glarus FFA members say other translator, Will. There Did you see any interesting “thank you” to all parents, busi- were four other adults that animals? nesses, and other supporters of were teachers, coordinators, FFA. or guides for our trip. Every- Heather-Yes! When we one was extremely helpful traveled to the rainforest we COSTA RICA TRIP and nice. spotted many beautifully col- ored birds. There were also By Jenna Knapp

After Heather and Kari’s return from Costa Rica I sat down with both of them and got all the de- tails about their trip.

How was your trip?!

Heather- It was amazing. We had a lot of fun. We all par- ticipated in different games, we planted trees for a school in the area, traveled to the rainforest, had meetings together, and learned a lot about every other individual on the trip. many monkeys swinging horn twice I will move on to five years, oh, and one of the around and we also saw a something else. Below are worst approval ratings of any sloth, which was weird! some of the many things that President . . . 25%. just grind my gears. Did you make a lot of friends? --NASCAR . . . I don’t know --Shamwow . . . Yeah, I bet how people can get hyped up Heather-Of course, eve- you’ll be saying wow after about driving. It’s the same ryone was so kind and easy to every time you clean your sink. as if you watched cars on the get along with. I enjoyed Stupid crap infomercial. freeway for four hours. Oh, teaching some of my friends and another thing, how did sign language and learning --Tanja Ging Grutner . . . driving become a sport any- about their cultures while shar- Thanks for making us do all way? ing mine. I am still in contact those fire drills last month. How with all of them on the com- many times do I have to tell --School Issued Kleenexes . . . puter through Facebook and you, you have to start carrying Personally I don’t want to email! I hope to have a reunion around a fire extinguisher. wipe my nose with sandpaper with them again some day. when I’m sick. --Hannah Montana . . . Miley What was your absolute favor- --Monticello . . . Your mascot ite moment? is a pony . . . how is that in- timidating? Heather-When our group was able to go kayaking --People who sue McDonald’s and rafting! It was my first because they ate their food time ever kayaking and rafting and then got fat . . . It’s your and it was so funny because stupid crap fault you got fat. my friend and I were trying to McDonald’s didn’t shove the move and we just kept going in fat-infested food down your circles because we were not throat. Man up and take the good at paddling. Eventually I Cyrus is so much cooler blame. had to get in the larger raft --Twilight . . . What’s the big with Kari. It was an interesting deal about Vampires?? If you --Rush Limbaugh . . . He’s a new experience! want to watch a good movie communist watch Star Wars: Return of the GRINDS MY Jedi—it’s ten times better --Gerald Tordoff . . . I don’t need to know how many GEARS --Tea parties at the Capital . . . points Alex or his second by Brendan Pittman Stop protesting our current grade Monroe basketball team President. He’s only been in scored against teams like Al- Have you ever had anything or office for three months. Here’s bany or Pec every day. anyone that really pisses you a thought, start protesting peo- off? I have. As readers of the ple like George Bush and his --That dumb survey asking Old Guard, you have probably administration, I mean they how many times I’ve eaten read my rants about how bath- only led us into two wars, put us green salad in the last month. room life in the school really into some of the worst eco- stinks . . . literally. I could go nomic conditions since the on about the bathrooms all day Great Depression, failed to but instead of tootin’ the same clean up New Orleans . . . after Il.

Cancer: June 22/July 22: There are better ways to honor Gorilla Zoe than with a 30-foot gypsum statue.

Leo: July 23/August 22: Forget all the rumors about there being buried treasure in- side the vending machines.

Virgo: Aug. 23/ Sept. 22: Whether or not you earned that participation trophy is some- thing that will be hotly debated for years to come. Libra: Sept. 23/October 22: It is both rude and confusing to say “you’re welcome” after someone sneezes. Scorpio: Oct. 23/Nov. 21: That Western Civ. Test grade would have been higher if you hadn’t confused Pericles with Testicles.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22/Dec. 21: You will be the laughing stock of America when you use all your “Who Wants to be a Mil- lionaire” lifelines on the first question and have no idea on the second.

Capricorn: Dec. 22/Jan. 19: Rigging the light switch in your How is eating green salad risky be sufficiently microwaved in bathroom to play Boom Boom behavior? 45 seconds. Pow every time it’s flipped on HOROSCOPES Taurus: April 20/May 20: is actually quite clever. The ghosts of our founding fa- by Chase Chapman thers will greatly disapprove of Aquarius: Jan. 20/Feb. 18:

your new motto “Life, Liberty, Dear Editor: Please don’t mis- Aries: March 21/April 19: and the Pursuit of Nachos.” spell anything in this horoscope. After decades of diligent studies, a Nobel Prize will finally be Gemini: May 21/June 21: Pisces: Feb. 19/March 20: yours, and you’ll know exactly No one will laugh at your mis- Without a doubt. It is certain. how many frozen pancakes can sile-aneous pun about Kim Jong Signs point to yes. You may rely on it. Outlook good. Sound familiar?