360 W. Grant Street East Palestine, Ohio 44413 January 2015 Volume 44 Issue 2 One Act Facts

By John Kline was a beautiful disaster." Investigative Reporter A n - Last but not least was the senior play, other year, another four plays! This year's "Action News! Now With 10% More Ac- One Act plays were pretty quality if I do tion." This play featured a news broadcast say so myself. that aired a lot of dark humor and a singa- long. I asked Miranda Velchek and Kel- The freshman class performed "Nobody liane Duncan what their opinions on the Famous," a play about a fake fortune teller play were. Miranda said, "Well, thank you who tricks her clients. I recently asked Johnathan for the question. Kelliane and I Ms. Reanna Bell, also known as Iggy, have done One Acts for all four years. We what her experience in her first One Act really enjoyed all of our directors and all play was like. She said, "It was terrifying of the plays that we have been a part of. at first, but it was fun performing for the We really loved last year's play about the community." Zombie Apocalypse, but we loved this year's play even more. We loved our char- The sophomore play was "Big Bad," a acters, and we were glad to win this year courtroom scene accusing the Big Bad as well as last year to finish out our One Wolf of a bunch of illegal stuff. Shane Acts career. We are also thankful for all Browne gave me his opinion on the play. our co-students that have acted with us." He explained, "It went rather well consid- ering how bumpy our rehearsals were. It "Yeah, what she said," added Kelliane. was an overall well-written play." Here are 2014-2015 One Act awards: "Little Red Schoolhouse Reunion" was Best Actress: Sidney Smith the junior play. It was, as the title implies, Best Supporting Actress: Jocelyn Stew- a classroom setting with a lot of funny art parts and a very manly girl played by Best Actor: Evan Jones EPHS' own Aaron Proakis. I asked junior Best Supporting Actor: Curtis Myers The Epic Sidney Smith what she thought about their Best Use of Space: Juniors play. She pondered, "I thought our play Best Play: Seniors The senior class (pictured above) won the 2014-2015 One Act play competition Land of the Free and Home of the Brave By Sara Alvaro we can have the freedom we have. Feature Editor Q: Do you think of yourself as one of the Every year EPHS honors local veterans by honored veterans? Why or why not? putting on a presentation, and now there's also a breakfast provided afterwards for the veter- A: No, because I didn't see combat. ans. Through the assembly and breakfast, Honors English 12 students were able to show Q: What do you think about East Palestine's tribute and serve a delicious breakfast to over presentation and breakfast? 24 local veterans and their families. As free citizens, we always say what Veteran's Day A: It's a nice way to show the community's means to us, but have you ever thought about appreciation for veterans. what it means to an actual veteran? A veteran from the Air Force named Hollie Alvaro was Despite a lack of combat experience, every recently interviewed. veteran should be respected for their time and service put into keeping us protected and free. Q: What does Veteran's Day mean to you? Every effort put into showing a spark of grat- itude is always deeply appreciated. We are The Epic A: Veteran's Day is a chance to reflect on all only called "the land of the free" because of Veterans enjoying their breakfasts after our Veteran's Day assembly of the sacrifices made by those before us, so the brave individuals who contribute to pro- tecting Americans' freedoms.

Technically speak- Lady Bulldogs The Sam- ing...an interview Fight for Wins with Dave Brown squatch of E.P.

Pg. 6 pg. 3 Pg. 4 The Epic Staff Section/The Real World Pg. 2 AirAsia Mystery Letter from By John Kline These devices are our best Investigative Reporter ways of finding out what took After many weeks of search- place inside of the plane that ing for the downed AirAsia day. When it comes to the pas- the Editor flight QZ8501, sengers, only By Matt McDade of a calendar date. It's things like per- one of the black 48 bodies have Editor-in-Chief sonal motivation, technological ad- boxes have been been found and vances, and unexpected lawsuits that recovered, but Dear students and Epic fans, found. It is pre- bring forth change. I mean, in 1995 a there are still I don't know what anyone else was gallon of gas was about $1.10. Gas is dicted that the doing at 11:59 on New Year's Eve, but currently about $1.90 but had sky- plane exploded many more in I was away from any T.V. with a count- rocketed to the beautiful price of about after hitting the the plane's down, thinking that it was only, like, $4 per gallon through the 2000's up f u s e l a g e 11:57. I was wrong and had no idea it water which until recently. Though I wouldn't be strapped to was 2015 until I walked in front of my surprised, I doubt gas stations said, launched debris T.V. and thought, "Oh, it's 2015." In "Hey! It's January 1st, let's make gas more than a kilo- their seats. other words, I wasn't very concerned cheap!" There are underlying factors meter away. Al- Once the black with the New Year. In fact, I person- that influence everything. box is taken to ally think that though only one The Epic flight recorder Jakarta and an- everything associ- "Things change So, rather than re- The worldly Mr. Kline contemplates alyzed, it will ated with New lying on a new year (black box) was another international crisis. Year's Eve and without the in- for a time to change, recovered, an- give us a better New Year's Day is I believe that people other one has been located but idea of where the rest of the kind of dumb. I fluence of a should figure out plane is, and the remaining believe that most is currently still in the Java Sea. what self improve- bodies will be recovered. people also feel calendar ments they need to the same way, but implement and there are still some date." make the change on that swear that a completely ran- January 1st will be -Matt McDade dom date, such as the magical day June 19th or May that their personalities, appearances, 8th. and finances begin to change. Sincerely, Unfortunately, it doesn't work like Matt McDade that. I was aimlessly wandering my Editor-in-Chief house alone out of pure boredom at the end of 2014, and did so well into the P.S.- Thanks to everyone on the first minutes of 2015 without magi- newspaper staff for being so great at cally becoming 20 pounds thinner and what you do and helping to make the having $1000's of dollars appear in my newspaper as good as possible. You're pockets out of thin air. While both all really good writers, editors, pho- would be nice, the fact of the matter is tographers, and "children" to Mrs. that any change brought forth by a new Wollet. Every time I read one of your year is probably actually brought on by articles, I'm impressed! If you're not on a new diet or a new job that you could the newspaper staff, thanks for reading have started in December. this far and enjoy this newspaper!

Things change without the influence

The Epic Matt McDade considers self-improvement over a copy of The Epic (above) The Epic staff (right) The Epic EPHS Stuff Pg. 3 Technically Speaking...

An interview with Dave Brown By Matt McDade Editor-in-Chief

Dave Brown is one of the few men at A: Back then it was mostly DOS A: Not so much challenging as it has EPHS that helps to keep our computers based, and most companies used Novell been time consuming. It takes a lot of and internet access running smoothly. servers and operating systems. Now, time to unbox and ghost all of the lap- He's a familiar face to anyone that's ever everything is Windows based. tops. Then, you have training and distri- been in an EPHS computer lab during a bution. I was not as involved in the time of crisis. Dave Brown is actually an Q:Do you dislike any of the changes unpacking and ghosting as the other two integral part of EPHS that has helped our in technology? techs were. There is a challenge in the school become more technologically maintenance of the laptops. advanced. I decided to interview Dave to A: No, because most of the changes learn more about his interest in comput- are smaller, faster, and more efficient. Q: What are your favorite and least ers, his job, and more! This, for the most part, makes things a favorite computer repairs to do? lot easier. Q: When did you become interested in A: I enjoy most everything involved in computers? Q: What is your favorite operating the maintenance of computers. My least system? favorite would be working laptops A: I became interested in the mid '80's, because they are so time consuming. but never pursued it until 1997 when I A: Windows 7 Pro which is, in my went back to school for further training. opinion, the easiest and most efficient Q: What are some of your other inter- operating system. ests besides computers? The Epic Q: What were the biggest differences between computer technology then and Q: Has setting up the laptops for fresh- A: I enjoy riding my Harley, shooting Dave Brown posing in the EPHS office computer technology now? men been challenging? guns, and listening to, playing, and singing gospel songs.

who donated.

New Beginnings The service of Payton Ream, Taylor Rogers, for Children all Tori Ward, Hayley McElroy, Malia Rose, and Brooke Ream, who Over the World: are all proud members of Rotary Interact, were able to surpass our goal EPHS' Operation of 30 boxes and make a total of 45 boxes! Last Christmas Child year, our boxes made it to three different conti- By Paige Barr Student Submissions Coordinator nents: South America, Africa, and Europe! Operation Christmas more! Child was a success! We Senora Spanos includ- set up boxes all over the All of these items were ed, "Rotary Interact The Epic high school and middle sorted, put into boxes, would really like to Students volunteering (left to right) Hayley McElroy, school in which we and distributed to chil- thank all of the students Brooke Ream, Sarah Tomor, Faith Anderson accepted donations of dren in the countries of and staff who donated anything students and Europe and Africa. All ones listed above (at any Child is very important items. It would not be teachers were willing to of the children are in time of the year), pur- to all of the children in possible without their give. We collected need of these items, and chase them and bring the countries that only help! We would like to candy, snacks, tooth are undoubtedly very them to Dr. Bircher or have a few resources. It remind everyone to keep brushes, tooth paste, grateful for everything Senora Spanos, and we gives them hope, and a this project in mind hair accessories, combs, they receive. They will use them in our Christmas we know they throughout the year. If coloring books, crayons, deserve a Christmas, shoe boxes next year!" will enjoy. you ever see deals on markers, gloves, playing and will definitely have small items, like the cards, and so much one thanks to everyone Operation Christmas

The Way to Success: Making the 3. Chill out- When you feel overly stressed or over- Most of Midterms (Or Finals!) whelmed, walk away from the By Sara Alvaro work for ten minutes or so. Feature Editor Studies show that breaks can help rejuvenate the brain and Currently, it's almost that time 1. Study guides- Teachers are help you function better. of year again..midterm week! giving out study guides for a For anyone who has ever expe- purpose. The only person you You can succeed in passing rienced the horrors of midterms are hurting by not studying and your midterms. They may seem before, you know how stressful completing them is yourself. like they are impossible to the entire situation may be. complete and that the amount However, do not fear! If you 2. Don't wait- Waiting until of work required for them is find yourself panicking over last minute to complete study The Epic unacceptable, but if you follow the tests and how to prepare for guides will only build up stress these helpful guidelines, you Look familiar? them, here are some helpful and end up making you panic may be on the track to success suggestions: more than you need to. in no time at all! The Epic EPHS Stuff/Entertainment Pg. 4 The Samsquatch of E.P.

By John Kline Searcher of Samsquatches

Deep within the woods surrounding the busy, overpopulated town of New Waterford lurks a creature of mystery and elusion. There have been a number of sightings, but the most recent ones come from much of the Bulldog football team in the area surround- ing the house of EPHS' own David Weaver. This is their story.

It all started on a nice, crisp Autumn evening.

"We were sitting down by the fire. It was me, Dode, Weaver, and several Aaron Proakis other toads," says Samsquatch witness Cody McGath. "Sud- denly, we heard this noise [a low howling call] in the distance. Then, when Spratt Daddy pulled out, his headlights hit the field and we saw this big, tall thing."

"It was about 3 in the morning, and I was pulling out of the driveway. I saw this big, The Epic hairy monster standing in the cornfield," ex- plains Jaret Spratt. Jaret Spratt, David Weaver, Randy Fegert, and Cody McGath appear unharmed de- spite their Samsquatch encounter I asked him to describe the creature, which He responded, "Samsquatch! Samsquatch The most exciting part of this story is the sudden, we hear something in the woods, he then went into extensive detail about. "I'd was enormous!" when Aaron Proakis and Cody McGath and it was the Samsquatch! It popped out of say it was about 8-9 feet tall and dark went into the woods to find this elusive nowhere and howled. McGath and I took brown... maybe a black." Although it wasn't specific, Fegert's claim beast. off, making it back to the fire unharmed." did back up the claim that Samsquatches are Jarret also confirmed Cody's claim that the enormous. "While Blaze was running back to the fire, Ever since this night, the Bulldog football howl lasted for about 15 seconds. me and Mr. Cody McGath stayed out there. players haven't seen or heard anything else, Next was Weaver, and I also asked him Cody started doing calls to try to get a hold but news reports and occurrences have I then tracked down Randy Fegert and what he saw. of Samsquatch. Now, McGath's crazy, so he begun to surface from neighbors. David Weaver, who both had rather short put his eye-black on and took his shirt off. I stories that are still very crucial for debunk- "I saw a large, dark, hairy creature, about was hiding behind him because he's a big So, remember that the next time you're in ing this mystery. I asked Randy what he saw 8-9 feet tall!" he confirmed. He also said that guy, and he had a stick in one hand... sharp- the woods or driving home and you think the that night. he believed it was a Samsquatch. ening it so if it [the Samsquatch] came at us large animal that you see is a Samsquatch, he had something to protect us with. All of it very well could be. Get Your Kicks with What's Hot!

By Trevor Walker by a professional player in his- tory. The creator, Michael Jordan, is by far Lebron James came into the NBA right "The creator, Sports Editor the greatest NBA player of all time. Plus, out of high school and has been a sensation Michael Jordan, is Interested in learning more about some of just recently, Jordan released the all-new since. He took the to back-to- the latest sneaker releases? Well, read this! Air Jordan XX9's which bring an all-new back NBA Championships and is now back by far the great- cushion and comfort experience for your in Cleveland hoping to make the Cavs 1. Air Jordan XX9 feet that is like no other. They have a long championship contenders along with Kyrie est NBA player of lasting durability and have great looks for Irving and Kevin Love. For just a shade all time." For over thirty years and counting, Jor- all. The starting price of these hot new over a decade, Lebron has had a shoe line dans have been the most coveted and held shoes is $225. with Nike and has been very popular in the the highest prestige of sneakers in history. world of sneakers. His latest signature, the It is the longest running shoe line created 2. Nike Lebron 12 Nike Lebron 12, has just dropped, and they - Trevor Walker are extremely popular. They are very pop- ular with the Nike Foamposite cushioning, these shoes is around $150-$170. which is an all-new design of high-top bas- ketball shoes starting out at $240. 4. Nike Kobe 9

3. Nike KD 7 helped the be victorious in five NBA finals Kevin Durant was the NBA League MVP trips. He has been a role model to many for the 2013-2014 NBA season. He had a since he came into the league in 1996. phenomenal year and helped the Oklahoma Many say he takes a lot after the greatest City Thunder advance all the way to the ever, Michael Jordan, and was said to be NBA Conference Finals where they were the Jordan of his era of basketball. Over defeated by the . For the nine years, Bryan has been sponsored by seventh year, Kevin Durant has designed Nike, and since the beginning, he has cre- his own shoes with Nike, and they have ated nine unique styles of his own shoes been hot sellers since they debuted. These with Nike. These are low-top basketball all-new shoes have the classic Nike Air shoes but can also be purchased as high- tops with built-in ankle supports and are The Epic Bag in the sole and a strap for extra sup- port on the foot. Although they are low-top, highly desired by many basketball and shoe they are still idea for basketball play and enthusiasts. The Nike Kobe 9's are priced at "TiP TOE WiNG iN MY JAWWWDiNZ" even for casual looks. The going price for $160-$190. The Epic Teacher Feature Pg. 5 Teacher Feature: Mrs. Miller

If you ever smell Miller is also the Q: Do you like Q: On average, delicious food advisor to our Pep being the Pep Club how many cups of throughout the Club at EPHS, advisor? McDonald's sweet hallways of EPHS, which comes as no tea do you drink you're either near surprise as her A: Yes! I love see- each week? our cafeteria or friendly, helpful ing students get near the room of personality is a involved and A: I tried to count Mrs. Miller. favorite amongst showing their once but got dis- Joining EPHS dur- students. As usual, school spirit. tracted when I ing the 2012-2013 we placed a box in needed another school year, Mrs. our media center Q: What is your sweet tea. Miller teaches sev- and allowed stu- favorite class to eral classes includ- dents to "cook up" teach? Well, there you ing Global their best ques- have it. Be sure to Gourmet, Child tions to ask Mrs. A: I love different listen to the Development, and Miller- here are parts of each of my announcements I n d e p e n d e n t her responses! classes, so it's hard and EPTV for Living. Mrs. to pick a favorite. information on our Q: Where did you next Teacher go to high school? Q: Is there any- Feature! thing that you A: I graduated can't cook? f r o m Columbiana. A: No.

Pictures provided by Mrs. Miller The Epic Sports Pg. 6 Lady Bulldogs Fight For Wins

By Paige Barr Student Submissions Coordinator The girls' basketball team refuses to put their paws down! They have been fighting for wins, and though their record does not show it, their hearts do. The girls have faith in their team and refuse to give up! I interviewed our senior varsity players Tiffany Ammon and Abby Fuller for their input on the sea- son.

Q: What is it like knowing this is your last year play- ing high school Abby Fullerbasketball?

Abby: It's crazy, and it makes me want to play for years longer!

Tiffany: It's really sad to think this is my last year. Endia Wisser Q: Do you think the freshmen are The 2014-2015 varsity girls basketball team with Coach Franklin going to bring some wins? when the season is over? have their spots on varsity. They Abby Fuller Abby: It's difficult bringing freshmen should be proud to know that they are Haley Hall up to play varsity, but we are all work- Abby: My girls and annoying Frank! role models for the underclassmen and Hannah Hall ing together as a team and doing what for our future generations! Mr. Tori Ward we can. Tiffany: I am going to miss the team Franklin should be proud because he Carson Rutledge because no matter what, we are team- did a great job at coaching this year, Emma Chamberlain Tiffany: Yes, I do believe the fresh- mates; "Win together and lose to- and hopefully he is here for many Sadie Walker men are going to help bring some gether." more seasons. Good luck on the rest of Alisha Dean wins! They are all really good and your season ladies! Marlaina Frye some of them already moved up to var- The girls support their teammates Brysten Trosky sity. and are very excited for the season. It The girls varsity basketball team is a huge accomplishment for them be- consists of: Q: What are you going to miss most cause they have worked really hard to Tiffany Ammon A Chance For Renewal By Sara Alvaro court fighting for wins for new, creative people, we've "EPHS couldn't be Feature Editor East Palestine. Unfortu- had dress-themes for our more proud of our With each winter season nately, as time went on, fans student section that have in- boys and all of comes another chance for grew tired of the same cluded togas, camo, neon, their successes and Bulldog basketball to bring themes and lack of excite- blackout, whiteout, and ugly the heat. Each year, fans fill ment at basketball games. sweaters. efforts through- the stands and cheer on the This year is different. With out the year." boys that are out on the themes in the hands of some Spirits have gone up, and - Sara Alvaro so has our team's drive and Nick Monteleone determination. Although Brandon Murray they may not have a perfect Josh Pickett record, they have given it Branden Kemp their all and played well. Trevor Kimmel EPHS couldn't be more Owen Reidy proud of our boys and all of Cameron Mitchell their successes and efforts Jamie Molnar throughout the year. Go Grant Wagner Bulldogs! Alex Robb Tom Dumbauld Endia Wisser The boys varsity basketball Adam Klein The 2014-2015 varsity boys basketball team with team consists of: coaches Sean and Dan McKeown Colin Reidy The Epic Entertainment Pg. 7 TV Review: The Bad Girls Club Redemp- tion Movie Review: By Matt McDade feel that some girls, such as Jada, don't de- Editor-in-Chief serve a second chance. Any man that's been subjected to watch- Essentially, Redemption is a pretty decent ing "female" TV shows has probably, and season of Bad Girls Club. Laura the Life End of Watch secretly, formed his own opinion on them. Coach, whose name is self-explanatory, also My experience with the returns on this season Bad Girls Club began and, to some of the they still have time. The lads come across By Trevor Walker against my own will girls' dismay, contin- a drive-by from the Mexican cartel un- Sports Editor about two years ago, and ues to provide life ad- loading a ton of lead at the hang out of an I've watched about four vice and counseling In South Central Los Angeles, this film African American gang. They end up chas- seasons of the show so to the girls in the was shot documentary style. Brian (Jake ing the van that the Mexicans were in, and far. I must admit, it's ac- house. Several girls Gyllenhaal) and Mike (Michael Pena) are the van gets away because Brian and Mike tually alright in the way are sent home for partners in crime; they are rough and tough come across a sticky situation. that shows such as various antics. There cowboys patrolling the crime-filled streets Maury and Steve Wilkos are several conflicts as Latino gangs are in a territory and They are in a foot chase with other gang are. between girls from power struggle with the African American members and drop them dead like flies. old and new seasons, gangs. Brian and Mike get lucky on some Brian and Mike meet back up a short time The premise of the and there are also patrols making huge drug and disturbing later in the dark, dangerous alleys they al- show is simple. Several some "challenges" human-trafficking busts. A Mexican cartel ways happen to end up in. They are blind- "bad" girls are placed in that the girls in the soon discovers the whereabouts of these sided as they turn a corner because the a home together, and house have to com- two officers and Mexican cartel mem- their varied-yet-similar The Epic plete. After uninten- order their deaths. "They both proceed bers turned the head- personalities cause The logo for a TV show, on a com- tionally becoming an lights of their van on friendships, fights, and puter screen, in a newspaper! expert on Bad Girls Later in the film, down the alley and to temporarily blind pranks that are some- Club, I have to say Mike's pregnant begin to run because the officers. Brian and times too much to handle on a Tuesday that Redemption is a pretty good season. wife is introduced Mike manage to elim- night. Redemption brings several girls from (whom he married a member of the car- inate some of the car- previous seasons together for a chance to Bad Girls Club airs on Tuesday nights at out of high school) tel was beating the tel members, but Brian "redeem" themselves; although, I personally 8:00 p.m. on The Oxygen Network. along with the is shot in the chest just search for Brian's pulp out of one of above his bulletproof perfect match and the rookie officers" vest. They are without soul mate. There are help for the time being many conflicts that because radio commu- lie within the Los - Trevor Walker nication is down. Angeles Police De- partment staff and lots of squad car con- Mike is knelt down trying to save Brian, versations. Meanwhile, Brian and Mike and he has his back turned to him. The are called out for back up when there is a Mexican gang comes up behind them, and disturbance between houses in an alley. As one of them shoots Mike ferociously with they arrive, one of their fellow policemen an AK-47. Shortly after, reinforcements is shanked in the eye with a switchblade. show up and discover that Mike is almost They both proceed down the alley and dead. Brian is unconscious, and so the begin to run because a member of the car- medics rush them to the hospital. Sadly, tel was beating the pulp out of one of the Mike doesn't make it, but miraculously rookie officers. badly-beaten Brian survives. At the end, the entire LAPD pays their respects to Brian and Mike manage to pull the rather fallen Mike and hero Brian. heavy suspect off of their fellow police- man, and Brian holds him on the ground I really liked this movie, and definitely with the barrel of his shotgun on the back recommend it if you're a fan of action- of the thug's head. After more back up packed films about police, gangs, and comes, the cartel member is taken away in Mexican drug cartels. hand cuffs and the severely injured officers are in critical condition. Medics are doing what they can to save the officers while

The Epic Trevor Walker at it again in his secret movie-reviewing lair. The Epic Snapshots/One Acts Pg. 8 The Epic Pg. 9 Entertainment It's gettin' hot in here...so read this interview with J-Dub from HOT101!

By Renee Cathers Staff Writer/ Photographer

Q: How did you get started with HOT101?

A: Before I started my career at WHOT- HOT101, I was working part-time in Cleveland as a board operator and production assistant. Through radio news sites, I found a night open- ing at WHOT-HOT101, and I created a demo and sent it off. Unfortunately, I did not get the job, but the Program Director at the time liked my sound and hired me any- way to host the HOT101 Saturday Night Dance Party, which airs on Sat- urday nights from 8pm- 12am. My first radio show was October 23, 2004. In late February, the host for the night show moved to another Renee Cathers station, so I auditioned Staff Writer/ Photogra- for the position and was pher hired as a full-time night show radio host on March 1, 2005.

Q: What made you decide to go into radio broadcasting?

A: To be honest, I never really thought I would be in radio broadcasting. Growing up, I was al- ways strongly influenced by music and movies. The Epic I was that kid who always craved attention and J-Dub is a radio personality on WHOT-HOT101, as listened to my Mrs. T on this radio in our EPHS office. wanted to be a singer (I can sing- but it's nothing to brag about!) or an actor. I chose radio because I thought it could be a stepping stone to the next show on that station is pre-recorded from a dif- tention to fashion trends and take pride in the big thing, like a TV show host, movies, or act- A: There are two ways to answer this question. ferent radio station in another state from big mar- way I look. However, I do still own me a pair of ing. I really fell in love with radio and the inner- The first one is too long, and the correct answer ket radio hosts like Ryan Seacrest, Elvis Duran, boots. I have three cats; Stud is the oldest, he's workings of radio, and I love every minute of it. is 10 years. JJ, and Romeo. Going back to the question from my farm back home, and his name is Stud though, you have to be kind of a nerd, be ob- because of his markings and the fact that girls Q: Aside from me, what celebrities have you Q: What is it like working in a radio station? sessed with music, and be willing to have no life love him. Lula was a cat we adopted from An- met? and work crappy hours for minimum wage. If gels for Animals, and Monkey is my youngest. A: To be honest, it's just like any other job. As you go to college, you have a nice, shiny degree He's a Bengal cat, and even though he looks cool, A: This could be a long list. Pitbull was by far the Program director (A.K.A. the boss or man- for radio broadcasting but you don't need one. he's kind of a ... [jerk] because he gets into my favorite person I have ever met because he ager), I'm in by 9-9:30 and off between 7-7:30 everything and destroys everything. I love to veg was very down to Earth, and it was like I was on Monday through Friday and on some week- Q: Who is JDub? (Tell us a little about your- out and power-watch TV series' on Netflix. Also, hanging with a friend I have known for a long ends. If you want a social life, then you do not self) as sad as it is, I'm a Cleveland fan. I'm a hard- time. I have also met LMFAO, Nickelback, New want to work in radio, it requires long hours and core foodie; I love to cook, and I'm a very good Kids on the Block, Boyz II Men, Demi Lovato, a lot of attention. It's an over-glorified job, and A: JDub is a character, an alter ego of myself one. I have always made it a point to try and MGK, The Ying Yang Twins, Shinedown, The- no matter who you know they always want to an extent. The name JDub is actually my nick- make people laugh or smile. In all reality, I'm just ory of a Deadman, R5, Breaking Benjamin, Hin- something like concert tickets. name from high school. My real name is Joe a kid who loves people. I may have a slightly der, Backstreet Boys, Gavin Degraw, Plain Dobbins, and I'm originally from Akron, Ohio. I twisted sense of humor, but I can promise you I White Tees, Vanilla Ice, Kevin Rudolf, James Q: How does one become a radio broadcaster? have an older brother, and we are complete polar can make you smile if not laugh just for a sec- Brown, ZZ Ward, Stefano Langone, Bea Miller, opposites of each other. I grew up on a farm, and, ond. Justin Bieber, and American Authors. That's just A: It's actually really hard to get into radio now believe it or not, I used to ride calves/bulls as a off the top of my head! due to all of the new technology. A perfect ex- hobby when I was 13 years old. It's funny when ample is my competitor, 95.9 KISS FM- there is I tell people that I grew up on a farm because Q: How long have you been with HOT101? not one live person on the radio for them. Every everyone thinks I'm a city boy because I pay at- The Epic Advertisement Pg. 10 The Epic Student Pg. 11 Sudoku

Fill all the blank squares with the correct numbers. In a 9 by 9 square Sudoku game:

* Every row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order * Every column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order * Every 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must in- clude all digits 1 through 9 The Epic Student Submissions Pg. 12 Say What? Would You Rather...

Faith Jaret Blaze Brian Mr. Carson Anderson Spratt Chamberlain Taylor

Q: Would you rather explore the Q: Would you rather explore the Q: Would you rather explore the Q: Would you rather explore the depths Q: Would you rather explore the depths of the ocean or outer space? depths of the ocean or outer space? depths of the ocean or outer space? of the ocean or outer space? Why? depths of the ocean or outer space? Why? Why? Why? Why? A: Outer space because I think it would A: Space! Who knows what new be easier to swim in outer space (as long A: Outerspace cuz it would be dope A: I would explore the ocean A: Outer space would be cool. I'd to chill wit da aliens! #GATA because I have always wanted to be a kinds of space cats we could find. party on Pluto. as I have a space suit!). Also, I would not They could be riding pork chops for have to listen to anybody, because there is marine biologist. all we know. no sound in space. Q: Would you rather eat 30 pounds Q: Would you rather eat 30 pounds of cheese or 10 full jars of peanut but- Q: Would you rather eat 30 pounds Q: Would you rather eat 30 pounds of cheese or 10 full jars of peanut but- Q: Would you rather eat 30 pounds of ter with no water? Why? of cheese or 10 full jars of peanut but- of cheese or 10 full jars of peanut but- ter with no water? Why? cheese or 10 full jars of peanut butter with ter with no water? Why? ter with no water? Why? no water? Why? A: Doesn't matter because either A: 10 full jars of peanut butter for way you would be pooping bricks! A: I would rather eat 10 jars of A: Peanut butter of course. If I ate sure because cheese makes me consti- It has to be the peanut butter because I the cheese, I wouldn't poop for days. am lactose intolerant. Contrary to popular Q: Would you rather have a giant peanut butter because I like it better pated. belief, I am not student intolerant! hamster or a tiny rhino? Why? than cheese. Q: Would you rather have a giant hamster or a tiny rhino? Why? Q: Would you rather have a giant Q: Would you rather have a giant ham- A: Tiny rhino because I feel like I Q: Would you rather have a giant hamster or a tiny rhino? Why? ster or a tiny rhino? Why? would him through town without hamster or a tiny rhino? Why? A: A tiny rhino because hamsters looking country! #RhinoSwagg are ugly. A: I'd like to have a giant hamster A: A giant hamster because it could A: I would rather have a giant ham- and hang out with them like on the chauffeur me around if I bought a Kia. Q: Would you rather drink a gallon ster because I could ride it. Q: Would you rather drink a gallon commercial with the Kia Soul. of mayo or ranch? Why? of mayo or ranch? Why? Q: Would you rather drink a gallon of mayo or ranch? Why? A: Ranch because I put ranch on Q: Would you rather drink a gallon Q: Would you rather drink a gallon everything. Pizza, fries, pizza rolls, of mayo or ranch? Why? A: Ranch. I have a bad past with of mayo or ranch? Why? mayo... A: I would take the ranch but not drink and my sister. #Accidents it. Instead, I would sell the ranch to stu- dents during my cafeteria duty. The prof- A: I would rather drink mayo Q: Would you rather rescue a dog A: Gallon of ranch! I can't live Q: Would you rather rescue a dog its would allow me to retire years earlier. because I don't like ranch. from a burning building for your crush without ranch. from a burning building for your crush or fight off a bear? Why? or fight off a bear? Why? Q: Would you rather rescue a dog from Q: Would you rather rescue a dog Q: Would you rather rescue a dog a burning building for your crush or fight A: I would rescue my bae's dog from a burning building for your A: Rescue the dog. Who's dumb from a burning building for your off a bear? Why? crush or fight off a bear? Why? enough to fight a bear? Plus, you crush or fight off a bear? Why? because when I have a girlfriend I might get the girl ;) treat her the way she's supposed to be A: The bear because the Constitution treated: Like royalty. #YoungFaithful A: I would rather rescue a dog for A: Both. I'd get the girl at the end of gives me the right "bear arms," and since my crush because I'm not strong the day and look real gross if I killed I currently do not have any bear arms, I enough to fight a bear. a bear. could fulfill my constitutional rights.

Caged Birds (Continued from volume 44 issue 1)

By Samantha Martin recognize his demanding, author- in lab coats are all escorted out of when someone left the windows Guest Writer itative voice as the man I heard the building in handcuffs. open." I look at her with a puz- "'My eyes widen earlier. "You're probably wonder- zled look. She explains, "This "..then so can we. We're not as I watch him ing why you're here. Well, you After the EMT's have checked morning, I snuck out of my room going to let them do this to us," can blame subject A1 for this. us all for injuries, I notice a girl to use the bathroom. When I got Amy replies, a defiant tone in her fill the She is at fault. Her little stunt has standing by one of the police in there, I noticed that one of voice. "We are not disposable." syringe with caused us quite some trouble, and cars. When she turns and looks at those guys left the window open. now we have to scrap our project. me, I recognize her immediately. I saw the opportunity, and I just Just then, we are startled when an unknown You can blame her for termina- "Claire!" I yell. I run over to her took off." our bedroom door is violently liquid." tion. and greet her with a hug. thrown open. Two men enter the I look at her, dumbfounded that room and grab us by our arms. He walks over to the first girl in "Ivy!" she exclaims excitedly. is was that easy for her to escape. After tying our wrists together, the living room of this house. My line. My eyes widen as I watch "I'm so glad that you guys are all I decide not to think about that, they begin to lead us out the door. stomach drops when I see all of the other girls lined up in the him fill the syringe with an okay! I was scared that the police and I hug her again. It feels good unknown liquid. Just as he press- weren't going to get here in to finally be free. "What are you doing?" I ask as middle of the room, hands tied es the needle to the first girl's time." I struggle to break free. "Let us behind their backs. Amy and I are skin, the front door is violently go! You don't have the right to shoved into the line, standing broken down. Police and SWAT "How did you get out?" I ask. dispose of us!" fearfully alongside the other girls. A total of ten men in white team members suddenly fill the "Did you trick the window sen- room and swarm around the men. sors?" I receive no response as we are lab coats stand in front of us, They resist, but are greatly out- violently led down the stairs and staring. Observing. numbered. A sense of relief She chuckles. "No, no. I actual- through the hallway. We stop washes over the room as the men ly didn't do anything. It all began when we enter what I assume is One of them holds a syringe. I