Connecticut College Digital Commons @ Connecticut College 2006-2007 Student Newspapers 3-30-2007 College Voice Vol. 31 No. 17 Connecticut College Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.conncoll.edu/ccnews_2006_2007 Recommended Citation Connecticut College, "College Voice Vol. 31 No. 17" (2007). 2006-2007. 21. https://digitalcommons.conncoll.edu/ccnews_2006_2007/21 This Newspaper is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspapers at Digital Commons @ Connecticut College. It has been accepted for inclusion in 2006-2007 by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ Connecticut College. For more information, please contact [email protected]. The views expressed in this paper are solely those of the author. ----------- First Class • U.S. Postage PAID Permit #35 ~ Olee New London, CT ,PUBUSHED WEEKLY BY THE STUDENTS OF CONNECTlCUTCOLLEGE : VOLUME XXXI • NUMBER 17 FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 2007 CONNECTICUT COLLEGE, NEW LoNDON, cr SGA President Poisoned, In Stable Condition At L&M Hospital BY RON BUSYFINGERS fling. A standing vigil has been set up outside the·entrance to Lawrence editor in chief Memorial's emergency room. Hundreds of students (mostly sen- As efforts to break Conn's long- iors) have left notes, lit candles and standing senior giving record reach- created a mountain of flowers. A es fever pitch, the drive appears to tearful Alyson Ricker '07 garbled "I have suffered a major setback. SGA can't believe somebody would do President Evan Piekara, cited by something like this. Conn is such a many as the motor behind the senior happy place and I love everybody." giving campaign, has been poi- Piekara has asked that no money be soned. He is in critical, yet stable given to mitigate his skyrocketing condition. The apparent assassina- health costs. Instead, in a show of tion was unsuccessful, yet the "face" strength and statesmanship, he has of the drive has been permanently asked that aU donations be directed marred. While Piekara's term as toward the senior class fund, in SGA President has been rife with hopes that it may better the Conn controversy -with major discontent community. among the SGA General Assembly Conspiracy theories abound, yet -there is no doubt that Piekara's one suspect has emerged above all backing of the highly publicized others. Senior Class President senior giving campaign was the Topher Bothur, for reasons of jeal- spark that ultimately led some ousy and spite, has been named by deviant to perform this act of mur- campus safety, in conjunction with derous treason. Piekara, speaking the NLPD, as the prime suspect. The from his bed in Lawrence Memorial Voice has sent investigative Hospital's intensive care unit, hurled Despite suffering third degree burns over 40% of his face, Piekara still put on his winning smile (and best suit) for the press at L & M HospitalifiNew Londolt (Web). reporters on the case, whose woi invectives at his assassins. "You all but confirms these suspicions. can't kill me!" he shouted. Piekara informed The Voice that blood work Presidential candidate Yuschenko. a full recovery, his medical staff are and positive sentiment regarding the Not only has Bothur split town, but added "I am the school. ..Ie school performed on Piekara revealed Much like Yuschenko, Piekara's still monitoring his vital signs very senior giving campaign, headed up his hall mates have informed The est moi," potentially fatal levels of dioxin, the once room-lighting face has suffered closely and confirm that his facial by upstanding individuals like The intensive care staff at same poison used in an attempt on permanent disfiguration (see photo). damage is irreparable. President Piekara, makes the assas- SEE POISONING Lawrence Memorial Hospital has the life of then-reformist Ukrainian Though Piekara is expected to make The overwhelming popularity sination attempt all the more baf- Continued on page six Fainstein Given Campus Safety Position New Plex Slated For ElY NIGEL NEWSWORTHY to quell all fears associated with the Overhaul new hire. When contacted, Miner editor in chief gave a clear vote of confidence. He Reconstructed Dorms Will Resemble noted, "I've known Norm for six In the most shocking employee years, and have never seen him Old Plex Style redistribution of the school's recent pushed around; not by a faculty history, President Emeritus Norman member, a student, a BY MONA LISA KRONKITE Fainstein will return to Conn this trustee ... nobody. This man used to siderable attention in the design spring as a campus safety officer. lead the entire institution, and I can news editor world. Fainstein, expected to return to the tell you he knows how to take "The rooms have been made sociology department for the Fall charge. The camel on his baseball fresh and modem," said Todd 2007 semester, gave the announce- hat looks a lot more vicious when Following last summer's suc- Oldham, host of Bravo's Top ment of his career tum in a somber Norm gets hot under the collar." In a cessful renovation of the "Old Plex" Design, who visited the campus with speech. He lamented, "My time separate interview, Fainstein clari- dormitories, the administration a camera crew upon hearing of the away from students -which includes fied his qualification for the job by announced this week that complete dorms' pleasing new aesthetic. "The the years as president -has gone on putting a fresh spin on his resume. overhauls of "New Plex" dormito- colors are bold and innovative," he long enough. Direct intervention in Tired of the "unqualified" buzz, he ries Wright, Park, Lambdin and said, referring to the aforementioned the lives of students was always my lashed out at the Voice interviewer, Morrisson have been added to the accent walls, and added, "There is passion; lately, 1 have realized that saying "I lived in New York in the Strategic Plan. Despite their recent something very soothing about the..' access to dorms would give me '70's ... have you seen the movie The construction and modern amenities sea foam. (The color alternates with greater access to the lives of Warriors?" America's greatest resource: its edu- Miner also noted that he'd like to cated youth I It didn't take me long utilize Fainstein's academic back- to acquiesce to my calling and apply ground by creating a special role for for the campus safety position." the former president on his campus The head-turning news of this safety force. Specifically, Fainstein's change has baffled onlookers. background in urban politics should President Fainstein recently accepted a position as a campus safety otticer at Conn. Through tears, one female student come in very handy. Miner elaborat- turned her face to the sky and asked ed, "The lessons of The View from aloud, "Why Norm? He was such a tive fate has yielded myriad ques- spectacular, the lack of "street" work Below: Urban Politics and Social nice man. 1 loved his camel hat and tions and few answers. Of chief con- has raised more than a few eye- Policy, which Norman wrote in his dog. These memories are gonna cern is the swirl of gossip regarding brows. Put bluntly, people want to 1972, have been cornerstones of my be burned like my eyes when he Fainstein's aptitude for serving the know if our President Emeritus has philosophy regarding Marshall and turns his flashlight towards them, college in this new capacity. Indeed, the gumption to serve as a first Hamilton. Those dorms need a lot of and lost forever, like the SoCo-lime Fainstein's resume -given this responder to a notably rowdy stu- help, and I think Norman's vast that he will inevitably make me pour departure from the arena of scholar- dent populace. understanding of urban issues and out." ship-warrants some concern. Fainstein's new boss, Campus redevelopment can really turn things This bizarre twist of administra- While his academic credentials are Safety Chief Jim Miner, has sought around," Miner added, "Additionally, his experience at Vassar College makes him a perfect llpcoming Events An artist's readerim: Q,(asection Q,fthe pig dormitories (Web&' liaison to Abbey House." Extensive interviews with Miner These are real: revealed that the decision to hire beige as the colors chosen for Fainstein was not an easy or a clean Hamilton). I believe it would be very one. The applicant pool was deep conducive to a college student')l' Women's Lacrosse, Saturday, 3/31 and talented. "Besides," noted working environment." Miner, "he already had a job in the Bulldozing of the four buildings vs Amherst, 12:00 p.m, sociology department." Sources is expected to begin in late 2008. indicate that, despite his lack of law "It's imperative that we begin this enforcement or emergency first project as soon as possible," said response background, Fainstein won President Higdon in a recent press Just send in a "The Good News About Global the job with a great interview and by release. calling in a favor. "Yeah", admitted Though numbers are still being photo- any Warming": A talk by NPR Host Miner, "lowed him one." Given his negotiated, Conn's Budgiatary semi-corrupt hiring, Fainstein has Committee and The Board of Steve Curwood, Wednesday, 4/4 at been left to counter charges of nepo- Trustees has disclosed that the pro';:- photo will do. tism and cronyism. Fainstein clari- jected budget is expected to be 25 7:30 p.m, in Evans Hall million dollars, a figure which cou1d grow considerably considering the Please. SEE CAMPUS SAFETY significance of such a project. Continued on page six Conn will launch a closed-circuit1V The Big Game WorldChampionships Readabout Brad and Angelina'slatest - station in the near future, and will also are comingup in Africa,and Connwillget adoption, Good Charlotte's latest master- return to being a women's college within a new footballteam in the fall.