l J Manic Depression If you've ever seen a Hollywood movie, you know how music is used to pull the emotional strings of the audience. Music is not just part of the background, but an integral part of the whole experience.

Much like a movie, I sometimes think that my life has a Unfortunately, it simply isn't possible to be happy all the time. soundtrack. Certain songs remind me of friends from home, Sometimes you have to take guilty pleasure in wallowing in your places I've been or experiences from the past. Here's a quick own self-pity and remorse. After all, isn't that what most good list of 10 songs, in no particular order, that put a smile on my music is all about? Here's a list of 10 songs that are guaranteed to face whenever I hear them: make you cry in your beer:

10. Jessica by the Allman Brothers Band. This song brings 10. Time by Pink Floyd. All those clocks and chimes at the begin- back a whole flood of memories from my freshman year in ning of the song scare the hell out of me. It's a two-minute intro- high school. Ex-guitarist Dicky Betts supposedly wrote the duction that is a not-so-subtle reminder of your own mortality. song for his daughter Jessica, but I always picture a bunch 9. Born Under a Bad Sign by Robert Johnson. This blues stan- of hippies dancing in the woods whenever I hear the song. dard has been covered by just about everyone. This song is a per- 9. TNI' by AC/DC. Sometimes being a man in a relation- fect example of self-pity and loathing: "If it wasn't for bad luck/I ship is tough. You end up listening to music you don't want wouldn't have no luck at all." Ouch. to hear, going to restaurants you can't afford, all the while 8. Time of Your Life by Green Day. This song has been played putting up with your girlfriend's hysterics. Fortunately, at every single prom and graduation since 1998. Personally, I always there's no quicker way to restore your masculinity than by remember the final episode of Seinfeld when I hear the song, and turning off your brain and cranking AC/DC at top volume. it brings a tear to my eye. Go ahead, bang your head and pump your fist in the air. No 7. Just Like a Woman by Bob Dylan. Your girl got you do\'\'11? one is watching. Bobby D shares your pain. I love this song because it's so sweet 8. I Feel Good by James Brown. Nothing but the best by and melodic, but the lyrics really rip into the poor girl. "She breaks the "Hardest Working Man in Show Business." It's catchy just like a girl." Right on, Bob. funky and guaranteed to get the party dancing. What more 6. T1te Sweater Song by Weezer. 1usic for your inner geek. Just could you possibly want? about every Weezer song is about a girl breaking your heart. 1 r obcx:iy 7. Louie, Louie by the Kingsmen. The only song for which does a better job of bitterly expressing pent-up high school angst. you can be piss-ass drunk and still sing all the words. "Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked/Lying on the floor, I've 6. Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top. Ladies, I'll let you in on come undone." 1 'ow that's poetry. a little secret. Every guy has this song playing in his head 5. King ofPain by . I think the name says it all. I'm so when he's putting on a suit. lonely, , . 5. Heartbreaker/Livin' Lovin' Maid by Led Zeppelin. My 4. American Pie by Don Maclean. The first and only note- father probably introduced me to Led Zeppelin because he worthy song he ever \\.TOte, American Pie was inspired by the death was sick of hearing Pearl Jam and Nirvana. After discreetly of Buddy Holly and Richie Valens. It's beautifully written, catchy, switching CDs (by bursting into my room and taking my Vs. and everyone can sing along with the chorus while they cry into CD), he proceeded to play track No.5 of Led Zeppelin II over their beer. my protests. I've been hooked ever since. 3. Another Piece ofMy Heart by Janis Joplin. Poor Janis. She 4. Come on Around the Bend by Creedence Clearwater looked like a man, drank like a fish, and slept \i\.ith anything that Revival. I haven't met one person who doesn't like CCR. remotely resembled a human being. In between serious drug abuse This is one of my favorite tunes by the group; I can always and bouts of depression, she managed to be an incredible musi- picture the Budweiser Oydesdales galloping across a river cian The best part of Alwther Piece ofMy Heart is when Janis screams whenever I hear the song. into the microphone. It's beautiful in a strange sort of way. You can 3. Theme From Shaft by Issac Hayes. Ladies, I'll let you tell the poor girl is leaving her heart on the stage. in on another secret. I have this song playing in my head 2. The Thrill is Gone by B.B. King. The King (no, not Elvis) sings whenever I'm walking down the street. the blues. Need I say more? 2. School's Out by Alice Cooper. Remember that feeling you used to get back in elementary school, when summer And the number one song that makes me depressed: meant three months of freedom? Alice Cooper manages to recapture that feeling, even if the "school's been blown to 1. Slave by Britney Spears. Every time I hear this song (or more pieces" line is a bit un-PC after Columbine. specifically, see the video) the fact that Britney is not my girlfriend 1. Back That Ass Up by Juvenile. Ahh, freshman year. seriously depresses me. Britney, you little vixen, how come you Remember when they used to play this song three times an never answer my letters or return my calls? Why Britney, WHY?!!!J hour at every bar? I still get a smile on my face whenever I hear it. Then I proceed to shake my ass, but I watch myself. Daniel Crystal, staff writer

6 02.22.02 Culture arcade