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5 MALHEUR LegAL 6 RAYFIELD 7 PRISM 7 FAMILY GIFT BRIEF COMEDY WOLF VOTE LOVE ECONOMY SWAP orvallis C he T ADVOCATE SAMARITAN NURSE FIGHTS FOR PAY! Free Every Thursday I www.corvallisadvocate.com I February 25-March 3, 2016 OPEN FORUM FRee TO ALL Who are the HOMELESS What can the SHELTERS do What are the PLANS & IMPACTS 5:30 pm Thurs. Feb 25 @ The Corvallis Library Ends 7:45 pm PANELISTS @ 5:30 PM Doors Open 5:15 pm Gregg Olson, Acting Director of Corvallis Housing First Kari Whitacre, Executive Director of Community Outreach Inc. Catherine Mater, co-sponsor of the Petition to Restrict Presented by Location of Homeless Shelters PANELISTS @ 6:45 PM Biff Traber, Corvallis Mayor Anne Schuster, Benton County Commissioner Kenny La Pointe, State of Oregon Housing & Community Services http://www.cityclubofcorvallis.org 2 | Corvallis Advocate THE CORVALLIS ADVOCATE February 25-March 3, 2016 HAT S NSIDE HIS EEK Editor/Publisher W ’ I T W ? Steven J. Schultz 4 Could It Be the Lawsuit; Beav-Sci; Poor Assoc. Editor Decisions Johnny Beaver 5 As the State Turns; Trust God Death Entertainment Editor Threats in Klamath Ygal Kaufman 6 Rayfield’s Wolf Vote; Endangered Killer Words Whale Review; Diabetic OSU Mice Johnny Beaver Anthony Vitale Tax Return Preparation 7 Prism Lit & Arts Zine; Corvallis Gift Sidney Reilly Kiki Genoa Personal • Corporate • Estate • More! Economy Slates a Swap Taylor Smith Kyra Blank 8 Sam Nurse Lysa, Battles for Disability Sarah Nieminski Since 1973 Stevie Beisswanger 10 Calendar Ygal Kaufman 12 8 Days Design Bobbi Dickerson 757-1945 14 Entertainmental Calendar 316 SW Washington Nathan Hermanson Corvallis License 2250C Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 Law practiced 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com thoughtfully, compassionately editor calendar and carefully. @corvallisadvocate.com “My commitment is to listen, to empower you with story ideas options, and consider not only your needs today, but also your interests over the long term.” } -Karen Misfeldt ads Attorney at Law The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that Estate Planning Family Care accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed Prenuptial that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published Agreements materials. Submissions become the property of The Corvallis Advocate. We 310 NW 7th Street • Corvallis (541)754-7477 welcome submissions, but reserve the right to edit for clarity and length. Corvallis Advocate | 3 By Anthony Vitale By Johnny Beaver AHEM, SEX ABUSE LAWSUIT LINN-BENTON Behind OSU’s New Enforcement Regime BACKWASH hat kind of students do we want that they attended within the last OSU officials are seeking to decrease Questionable Decisions, Wroaming campus and skulking seven years for student conduct instances of sexual abuse on Editorial and Otherwise town at night? The reasons will be campus and create an overall safer kind of students that environment for students. While orvallis is planning several automatically any university would C“upgrades” to city parks to the tune declined admission this policy applies to all transfer want. Put another applicants equally, the decision to of $1.7 million. Due to the fact that plans at OSU. Applicants mention nothing about a beer fountain, way, we do not want enforce it came, surprisingly enough, who disclose that adult ball pit, or massive water slides, the kind of students three months after a controversial I’m choosing the reason for their to call it “The that other universities sexual abuse lawsuit targeting OSU Old People would not want either. ineligibility is for and former football coach Mike Riley Upgrade.” New academic reasons for fostering a hostile environment toilets, patios, This is why Oregon will be admitted only towards women. pathways, State University has and some if they meet OSU’s decided to take a Shocking update: OSU still maintains playground minimum academic rebuilds to keep look at its transfer that strengthening their transfer the kids busy while we mosey about student policies. As requirements.” The policies is not directed towards with our iPhones ringing, not sure how to stated on the Oregon State website, interesting part, however, is now athletes—however, OSU officials are answer them. “Applicants who are ineligible to OSU officials are working to actually urging other Pac-12 universities to I started to read something about re-enroll at any college or university enforce this rule. follow suit. tons of interest in Corvallis’ steering committee, but I fell asleep before I got to the punchline. Thankfully I was roused By Sidney Reilly just moments before I would normally begin drooling with news that visitors KEEPIN’ IT STEEL to the Gazette-Times website have Hatcheries Cause Rapid Mutation overwhelmingly chosen Bruno Mars’ performance as their favorite of the he conventional wisdom of eating environment that causes strong you’ll forgive the metaphor, like Super Bowl Halftim... ::snores:: Twild versus farm-raised fish natural selection pressures,” said sardines. The genetic pathways being A 31-year-old dude with a ridiculous- has always been one of those things Michael Blouin in a press release. activated were largely related to looking hairpiece (either that or his that most people didn’t need a lot A professor of wound-healing and barber was going for something of research to back up the wisdom integrative biology metabolism, which CHINESE MEDICINE post-apocalyptic prisony) was recently of. But that doesn’t mean we’re not at OSU who worked tossed in the Benton County lockup would of course be acupuncture still getting more of that research on the study, he herbal medicine for poking around at his Johnson while strongly influenced by asking two 13-year-old girls for a sexual every day. The latest salvo in the continued, “A the cramped quarters. dietary counseling encounter at the Corvallis Transit warnings against hatchery fish comes bodywork concrete box with Center. And of course he was from from OSU researchers in the journal 50,000 other fish all “We expected reflexology Brownsville, so perhaps he thought the Nature Communications. They warn cupping girls were sheep. What I’m trying to say crowded together hatcheries to have Katy Willis, LAc is that they do that out there, so I can that hatchery fish change on a genetic and fed pellet food is clearly a lot a genetic impact,” Blouin said health insurance accepted get an enraged letter next week from level after just one generation, in as different than an open stream.” elsewhere in the press release, someone who took me seriously. many as 700 different genes. elaborating, “however, the large The study involved the observation of 541-602-8172 A mountain troll of a man freaked out amount of change we observed at the While it doesn’t mean we’re going Oregon steelhead trout. While they in Alsea on Feb. 18 and broke a car DNA level was really amazing. This window with a hammer either before to see any three-eyed fish fromThe haven’t specifically isolated what is was a surprising result.” or after head-butting some woman. I Simpsons at Safeway any time soon, being produced by these changes yet, have been unable to confirm the rumor it is a startling sign of the potential I am literally starting, right here in this they were able to notice something As soon as one of these handsome impact of hatchery fish versus the sentence, that he also had on Guy Fieri fascinating. The changes seem to buggers walks out of the tank and old-fashioned kind. underwear and tried to eat the tire off be directly related to the physical starts talking, we’ll obviously report of a wheelbarrow. “A fish hatchery is a very artificial conditions of being crammed in, if on this more. The Lebanon Log: On Feb. 17 a driver in Lebanon took out an entire honest- to-goodness power pole, complete Making Choco Authentic Italian Meats & Cheeses n of late with live wire flipping about all willy-nilly, tio By after smashing an SUV into it. Officially BuyCHEAP • Sell BOOKS • Trade PRICdiELESS BOOKS H ra an T d blaming it on distracted driving, the A Linn County Sheriff’s Office has cited one Mr. Dylan Sowers of California (go figure) as the result of his admission that he was busy trying to get candy off of the floorboard when the accident occurred. Whatever it was, I hope it was ...since 1938 Natalia & delicious. And my compliments to the totally fabricated “went off the road in heavy rains” bit of sensationalism Corvallis Cristoforo’s offered up on the topic by the Corvallis121 NW 4th St. • 541-758-1121 Albany 351 NW Jackson St. #2 • Corvallis Lebanon-Express. Checked the weather Buy • SELL 541.752.1114 reports, bro... 0.43 inches for the entire 541-758-1121 541-926-2612 day. Heavy rain isn’t an accurate term 353 SW Madison Ave., Downtown Corvallis Alchemist Best Sandwich Shop Winner 121 NW 4thAlbany St. TRADE 1425 Pacific Blvd. Advocate Selection as a Hidden Foodie Find until you’re over 0.30 per hour. In your (541) 753-2864 1425 Pacific Blvd. • 541-926-2612 damn faces! www.burstschocolates.com Wine Classes • Party Trays 4 | Corvallis Advocate By Johnny Beaver S THE TATE URNS A S Malheur T May Be a Gift... But Portland Is Being Far Too Reasonable PORTLAND ON THE VERGE OF ARTS Drums” Ditson—they all are banking attention in the aftermath of the REVOLUTION... MAYBE heavily on their individual war cries world’s most ridiculous occupation. So I’ll be honest with you. Normally for bringing back the old mayor’s arts first off, the sheriff of Grant County, I care about elections in Portland and culture liaison position, as well as Glenn Palmer, has a sweet beard.