Family Advocate Guide Holiday Edition

FAMILY ADVOCATE GUIDE HOLIDAY EDITION

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Call Our Care Line 877-214-8661 AnswersForElders.com [email protected] 425-802-5300 12DaysofGoodness.com family advocate guide

Th e 12 Days of Goodness

Seahawks Fans Commit to One Act of Kindness or Service to Seniors Over the 12 Days of Goodness 12/12-12/23 – Seattle Seahawk Alumni Legends Lead the Way!

Dear 12- Th ank you for being a part of such an important eff ort in this community. We at Answers for Elders are truly excited to support you in the signifi cant role helping a senior this holiday season! Th is booklet contains tips and ideas on how to make the Holidays special for all seniors - including your loved ones. According to Geriatric Times: Th e statistics on Seniors living alone or in care facilities with no regular visitors are close to 60%. Th e 12s are a Force for Good! As a result, Seahawks Alumni Legends are leading the way by visiting senior communities throughout Puget Sound, and Th e Seahawks are tracking your great deeds on their #12s4Good Tagboard! Are You In?

What is the 12 Days of Goodness? Th e concept is simple: ■ One act of kindness toward a senior who is alone or who needs help over the 12 Days. ■ Don’t know a senior?We will fi nd one for you! ■ Don’t know what to do? Th ere are several suggestions here! ■ No time during this busy season? Consider making a donation to Senior Services. A link is provided for you!

Will you join us with one simple act of kindness toward a senior during the 12 Days of Goodness?

About Us Because of a six-year journey of caring for her mom, our founder Suzanne Newman created Answers for Elders, a national online resource portal that provides education, consultation and resources for families who are caring for senior loved ones. In addition, we provide tips and family caregiver education from over 70 professional areas of expertise, including Legal, Financial, Senior Housing, Health & Wellness, Aging in Place and Life Changes/Transitions. Our Care Line provides professional and qualifi ed advisors that consult individually with families on the confusing world of eldercare. It is our mission during the holidays to recognize seniors, as well as do our part to raise awareness and create a new paradigm for how seniors should be treated every day. We would also like to thank our sponsors for helping to make this event a reality for all of the 12s and seniors in the Greater Puget Sound region!

3 We would like to express our gratitude to these NFL Legends who are making visits to seniors this holiday season!

Sam Adams Edwin Bailey Hillary Butler Antonio Edwards Former Defensive Tackle, Former Guard, Seattle Seahawks Former Linebacker, Former Defensive End, Seattle Seahawks 1994-1999 1981-1991 Seattle Seahawks 1998; Seattle Seahawks 1993-1997 University of Washington

Nesby Glasgow Paul Johns Norm Johnson Sam McCullum Former Safety & Punt Returner, Former Wide Receiver, Former Kicker, Former Wide Receiver, University of Washington, Seattle Seahawks 1981-1984 Seattle Seahawks 1982–1990 Seattle Seahawks 1976-1981 Seattle Seahawks 1979-1987 Currently: Director/Youth Football & Alumni Projects, Seattle Seahawks

Steve Raible Mack Strong Joe Tafoya Manu Tuiasosopo Former Wide Receiver, Former Fullback, Former Defensive End, Former Defensive End, Seattle Seahawks 1976-1981; Seattle Seahawks 1993–2007 Seattle Seahawks 2005-2006; Seattle Seahawks 1979-1983 Currently the Voice of the Seahawks; Fan Engagement Expert; KIRO TV News Anchor; Owns Trademarks: Steve Raible’s Scouting Report Volume 12 & Legion of Boom And special thanks to: Dave Wyman Tony Ventrella Wilson, the 12th Pony Former Linebacker, Digital Media Host, and Sarah!! Seattle Seahawks 1987-1992; Seattle Seahawks; Certifi ed Th erapy Pony Co-Host: Danny, Dave & Moore 40-year career in media in Making surprise appearances Show, ESPN Radio; Western Washington to touch the hearts, and brighten t Co-Host: Seahawks Saturday Night, he loneliness of seniors throughout Q13 Fox the 12 Days of Goodness!

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Events Calendar Events subject to change. Visit www.12daysofgoodness.com/cities/seattle for the latest information.

December 12 December 13 December 14 Fairwinds Brighton Court, Lynnwood Fairwinds Redmond Martha & Mary Health and Rehab Center 6520 196th Street SW, Lynnwood 9988 Avondale Road NE, Redmond 19160 Front St NE, Poulsbo NORM JOHNSON JOE TAFOYA 10AM-2PM NORM JOHNSON 1:15PM ANTONIO EDWARDS Holiday Brunch & Watch the game! SAM MCCULLUM GO HAWKS!!! Holiday buff et w/entertainment!! Wilson the 12th Pony too!

December 15 December 16 December 17 Meals on Wheels Day Washington Oakes- Everett 1. Madrona Park, Federal Way 8AM-2PM 1717 Rockefeller Ave., Everett 31200 23rd Avenue South, Federal Way HILLARY BUTLER and 5-8:30PM HILLARY BUTLER, NORM JOHNSON EDWIN BAILEY will ride in SAM ADAMS Christmas Party 4PM Meals on Wheels trucks and Arrive to greet seniors for dinner meet low-income seniors times (Two seatings- 4:30 & 6). 2. Edmonds Senior Center on the route Th en ride on the bus and 220 Railroad Ave, Edmonds go out and view Christmas lights. ANTONIO EDWARDS 1PM

3. Brookdale- West Seattle 4611 35th Ave SW, Seattle SAM MCCULLUM, TONY VENTRELLA & Wilson the Pony 6PM

December 18 December 19 December 20 1. Ballard Senior Center/ Northshore Senior Center Home Game! Sagebrook in Ballard 10201 E Riverside Dr, Bothell Th is year, Senior Services of King County 5429 32nd Ave NW, Seattle Pancake Breakfast- 10AM have been cut close to $2 million. Th is Blue Friday Bash MANU TUIASOSOPO week, the former Seahawks who have STEVE RAIBLE- 12 Noon accompanied Meals on Wheels trucks have been dedicated to raising awareness for this 2. Fairwinds Brittany Park, Woodinville issue. Will You Help? 17143 133rd Avenue NE, Woodinville Holiday Happy Hour: 1:30 PM As the Hawks are beating the Browns at Manu Tuiasosopo? Century Link Field, donate $12 for them. Let’s see how much we can give back to 3. Central Area Senior Center: those who set the legacy for our fan base 500 30th Avenue South, Seattle today! DONATE $12 for the Original 12s Band/Appetizers - No host bar - via PayPal at http://www.12daysofgoodness. NESBY GLASGOW 6-9 PM com/sponsors/paypal-donate/

December 21 December 22 December 23 Sagebrook- Bellevue Teddy Bears Day! Fairwinds- Spokane 15750 Northeast 15th St., Bellevue DAVE WYMAN & Radio Buddies: 520 East Holland Ave., Spokane Connect with residents and help Children & Families encouraged to bring Christmas Party- 2:30 PM pack the truck for the Food Drive teddy bears to seniors in communities during Mack Strong? EDWIN BAILEY, PAUL JOHNS their lunch or dinner hours 12 Noon Wilson the 12th Pony will make numerous appearances!!

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Th e Elder Orphan: Will you show them they are not forgotten this holiday season? By Suzanne Perkins Newman s we approach the holiday season, we look forward most to the time we spend with our family and friends. We make plans and anticipate the joy that we will experience through our time together. We make lists, and shop to our heart’s content. Most of us fi nd “magic” in the season, and our hearts open wide to help those less fortunate than ourselves.

ATh is is a call to each and every one of you to fi rst read this article and then, please, do something over this holiday season to help a senior who may be all but forgotten. Let me share with you a story about “Bea” whom my Mom introduced to me. She lived in the same skilled nursing facility that my mother did. My mom, the perpetual caregiver (even when she was not able to care for herself), shared with me her concern for this very sad lady who broke my mom’s heart. You see, I learned that Bea was what statistics call an “elder orphan.” She had no one to call “family” except for a son. (I later learned that As many as 60% of nursing he basically moved her in and never visited.) Bea’s husband had passed home residents have away about 15 years earlier. As her health declined, depression set in most no regular visitors. likely to due her living alone. A caring neighbor discovered she had little My mother always wanted to make and her face would light up at the fact food in her house, had no one to help sure Bea was ok. Oft en times when I that someone actually noticed her and her and no heat. She became ward of would bring my mother’s favorite treat cared enough to do something for the state about 6 years prior to being (a root beer fl oat) into the community her. (I have to thank my mother for relocated to the skilled nursing facility room, we would see Bea sitting alone noticing, because had it not been for where my mom lived. at a table. I would bring her one too her, I honestly would not have thought

6 12 days of goodness | family advocate guide to bring Bea anything. Shame on me!) It is estimated, by Kenneth W. Wachter, Ph. D., Chair of the Department of Demography, at the University of California at Berkeley, that “the number of Americans between the ages of 70 and 85, without a living spouse, without any biological or stepchildren, and without living siblings or half-siblings, will total more than 2 million people by the year 2030.” I anticipate that this number is even greater when factoring in seniors who have children or family, but who are too busy to visit or care. It frankly outrages Th is holiday season I ask that each one me at the apathy that in this society today toward seniors. of you to look into your heart and fi nd In 2004, Geriatric Times, posted an article with this quote from Bruce G. ONE THING to do for a senior. Rosenthal, of the American Homes and Services for the Aging: never did. Of course I wonder if she is horrible situations. Th e world I came “As many as 60% of nursing home still alive and if her son ever comes to from before caring for my mom made residents have no regular visitors.” In visit. I think also about the many seniors me one of those ignorant people — times past, seniors were part of an ex- who live in cities, alone, with their completely oblivious to the plight of tended family, with children or grand- windows sealed or nailed shut because seniors. Now, aft er learning about the children nearby, who would assist them they are so afraid of crime, afraid that harsh reality of the world, I simply in their later years. But with families someone will break in and they will be refuse to ignore this issue any longer. living all over the globe, there is oft en defenseless to protect themselves. Will you please help? not a relative close by, or more oft en, I think about the many seniors who Th is holiday season I ask that one who is willing to take on the burden are poor and sick, and unable to care for each one of you to look into your heart of an aging parent. Many older people themselves, with no family that cares and fi nd ONE THING to do for a express a desire to remain independent for them or friends. senior. (A Top Ten posting is here with for as long as possible, so that they can I think about the many who oft en suggestions.) If you know of an elder continue with their daily living patterns, are dealing with some level of confusion orphan like Bea, can you “adopt” them and retain their privacy and dignity. But or dementia over the loss of a spouse or for the holiday in some way? If you the ravages of aging oft en prevent them loved one. don’t know someone, call your local from being well enough to live alone.” I think about them feeling help- skilled nursing facility. It’s likely they Sadly, I saw women and men who less with overwhelming loneliness and have many residents who whose life you were rarely visited by family or friends sadness. could change in an instant. at the skilled nursing facility where my I think about when die, they will I know that my life, since being mother lived. I was told on numerous die alone. thrust into the role of “family caregiver,” occasions by the staff how “lucky” my It is such a tragic end for a person has been profoundly changed in a posi- mom was that I made a special point to who may have given so much of their tive way. I have learned so much from visit multiple times per week. lifetime to others, and yet, when it is the wisdom and increased awareness of To this day I think about Bea. I have their time to depart, there is no one seniors, and I promise you that if you do memories of the tears in her eyes when who will be there for them. I feel a just one thing for an elder orphan over she would anticipate that maybe her son great deal of anger that anyone of an the few weeks that are left in the year, it would come to visit that day, though he older generation has to be in such will enrich your own life forever. ●

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Top Ten Ways to Help an Elder Orphan in Your Neighborhood

Find elder orphans through various sources in your community. Th is includes your local senior center, Will You Help a 1senior services, or skilled nursing or rehabilitation facility near you. Senior Who is Alone Create a food basket! As you are making Christmas Th is Holiday Season? cookies or candy, make a few extra and deliver to a 2senior. Complie a list of elder orphans in your community Deliver a poinsetta or fl owering bulb such as an and share that list with a community organization amaryllis or narcissus. 7or group you belong to. Perhaps each one of you can 3 adopt one for the holiday season! Purchase a “spa day.” Do you know of a senior Gift Cards are always a good option, as long as you woman who has neglected herself and would treasure can help the senior with their ordering and shopping. 4the pampering? 8Th ey may not have the ability to get out and shop or cannot or do not know how to order online, but you Take them out for a holiday lunch. Do you know their can help them do this! favorite foods? 5 Feed one senior a holiday meal. Make a little extra, wrap it up and deliver it to make them feel special. Pay them a visit and just listen for 20 minutes. Let 9 them share their stories! 6 Take them for a drive, to the store or just to view the Christmas lights. Get them out so they can 10 enjoy some fresh air.

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Th e 12th Man Legacy: A Daughter’s Tribute to a Father’s Infl uence

s the Seattle Seahawks have become Super Bowl Champions, the national news media is full of the stories of our Seattle fandom, aka as Th e 12th Man, our outspoken players, and the over the top passion that our players have. Our 12th Man rabid intensity toward our Seahawks is notorious to the Apoint of us being obnoxious. As excited as I am, however, about our Super Bowl Victory and the successful NFL seasons that the Seahawks have had, there is a part of this that is bittersweet for me. I have been a football fan since my early youth, and it is only the second time that my Seahawks made it since their franchise was founded in 1976.

The Original Seahawks 12th Man Let me share with you a story about my dad, Allen Perkins. Born in 1913, he was a successful workaholic entrepre- neur of Th e Greatest Generation, and as a and strategy of the game. many of the early games with my dad, result, he wasn’t around very oft en when At a young age, I could tell you the and we would have the chance to spend I was growing up. For me growing up in diff erence between a blitz and a zone, a the day together. As I grew up, one the 60’s, I adored my father. Dad instilled line and a secondary. I could describe thing that always kept us together was in me the value of competition, achieve- what “in the pocket” was, and knew all our love of our football team. ment, and career success, and yes, he was the hand signals of the offi cials. Dad I believe that is the case with a die-hard football fan. taught me the names of each QB and many families across the USA, Like many of you reading this, you Coach of each NFL team, and I could whether it’s the love for a professional may relate to football weekends being rattle them off proudly, even better than or college team we oft en form our sacred in your home as it was in ours. the multiplication tables I was supposed college decisions, sports teams, and Before the Seahawks ever existed, Dad to learn in school, and so when it came loyalties based upon the infl uence of would sit in his chair on Sundays, and I time for Seattle to fi nally get our own our fathers. would sit with him, and over the years team, Dad was fi rst in line to get season Dad never ever missed a home I grew to love it as much as he did. He tickets for Th e Seahawks. game even though he would make spent many hours teaching me the rules I had the privilege of attending a three hour trek to get to Seattle to

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watch them. We always had dreams of the Seahawks making it to the Super Bowl, and I can still hear him talk about the virtues he instilled in me- those of competition, achievement, and greatness that believed would take Seahawks to that Lombardi Trophy.

A Difﬁ cult Life Turn In 1985 Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. We were all concerned and very worried as a family. In addition, it involved a major surgery for him, and as the surgeon came out Before the Seahawks us! – Coach Chuck Knox.” to speak with us aft er the procedure, he When I arrived at the Hospital with wasn’t sure what the lab tests, 10 days ever existed, Dad would these precious items from his favorite away, would reveal if he was able to get sit in his chair on team and handed them to Dad, I will all of his cancer or not. never forget the look of joy, emotion Dad was lying in a hospital bed Sundays, and I would and hope in my father’s eyes! It gave in limbo. He wasn’t sure where his life sit with him, and over him a renewed spirit and something of would turn. We as a family were trying the years I grew to love a mission to look forward to, and thus to give him all the hope in the world, when the test came back as negative for and yet we all were worried about what it as much as he did. He cancer, his commitment in his Seahawks the fi nal results would reveal. spent many hours teach- was not only affi rmed, it became a I would talk to him by phone every mission until his death in 2002 at the day, and Dad was mostly depressed ing me the rules and age of 88. He knew that he was needed because it meant that he would be strategy of the game. up there to cheer on his team! missing a couple of home Seahawk games. I was heading down to see him emerged from the back offi ces into the The Seahawks’ Role in in a few days and got an idea. I called reception area, but none other than The Seattle Community the Seahawk offi ces at the time and told Coach Chuck Knox! Today, the Seahawks in Seattle are their Community Relations manager Coach Knox came directly toward more than just a “sports team” to us. all about my dad and that he was an me, extended his hand and said he had Th ey are an integral, synergistic part original ticket holder. Would there be heard about my Dad’s plight of colon of what WE in Seattle call community. a way I could get a poster for him that cancer. “Please tell Al that he is in our Our Seahawks represent fi ghting against would be signed by a few of the players thoughts and prayers!” I was truly all odds. Th ey represent the aspirations for his hospital room? touched that he would take the time to that we all desire- that of competition, In a couple days I arrived at their come out to meet me. He then looked at achievement, and an ever present offi ce and asked for the nice woman the poster that I was so fondly viewing commitment to contribution and the who helped me, and she came out and looked up at the woman who had creation of a community culture. with a poster that was signed by close been helping me and said, “Is that all we My dad never got to see this day, to 2/3 of the players! I was thrilled! are doing for Al?” either in 2006 or today as they fi nally Th ere were a few short notes to Dad Without missing a beat he reached accomplished all he aspired to for them. from some of the key players who were up and took the hat off of his head, and In all this excitement, in my heart it’s Dad’s favorites. As I was in the process grabbed a Sharpie pen from the front hard for me to fully embrace it without of viewing all of the signatures and desk. He wrote on the hat: “Al, Get Well a wish that Dad was here to share sentiments that were left for Dad, who Soon! We need you up there cheering for it. Th is would have been his dream

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— what he contributed to and was a part of, in those early beginnings.

The Seattle Seahawks: Misﬁ t Toys Overcoming Odds Our Seattle Seahawks have always been there for their fans. Th ey show up in hospitals and times of hardship. Th ey have spent an incredible amount of time in devotion to our community. Th ey speak to at risk kids. Th ey help the Homeless. Th ey provide Christmas Shopping trips for families who cannot set a foundation for what the fan base Our Seahawks represent aff ord it. Most of all, they remind each in Seattle has become. Today we are Th e individual in this community that 12th Man. We are notorious throughout fi ghting against all it is possible to come from humble the world for our overwhelming passion odds. Th ey represent beginnings and achieve your dreams. We and loudness in Century Link Field. fans know that we are part of that dream. Th ose who play us here rarely, if ever, the aspirations that Each Seahawk player has his own win. We know just how important we we all desire — that story. Hardly any of them were ever are, and yes, we embrace the sentiments of competition, fi rst round picks in the NFL draft but that Coach Knox wrote to my father rather they came to us as 3rd, 4th, 5th back in the 1980’s. We know we are achievement, and an ever round draft picks or as free agents. needed up there! present commitment to As a matter of fact, just last week one Th ose of us who are part of this NFL analyst them: “An island of misfi t incredible fan base today, oft en came contribution and toys.” Th ese players and actually our from fathers who were likely like mine the creation of a Coach Pete Carroll were passed over, was; loyal, passionate, and he took it as doubted, and yet proved the media, a serious responsibility to be there to community culture. pundits and analysts all wrong. cheer on his team. he also was in that Met Life Stadium, Many come from families and a Th ere was no doubt that my cheering them on too, wreaking havoc childhood who had struggle in poverty loyalties will always be with “our” team, with Denver’s off ense with the opening and humble beginnings. Many lived Th e Seattle Seahawks. Th is devotion snap/safety of the game, and so many in gang-centered neighborhoods, but that I shared with my dad instills within plays that came aft er. He, along with they still aspired for greatness despite me my competitive spirit, my desire the entire generation of those who all of the odds. Th e opportunities they for achievement, accomplishment, and came before us who founded 12th Man received through their athleticism was achieving goals, and playing full out Culture- our fathers, grandfathers, only part of it. Th ey had to aspire to far in my Life. but instead it’s up to me uncles, and older brothers. more than that. Th ey always have been to eff ect and contribute to the fi eld of We daughters are now also able fi ghting for more in life- than an upcom- play, just as we fans do as we break the to embrace a common ground with ing game. Th eir championship mentality Guinness World Record for Sound, and them, as a new generation has emerged. extends to far more in life than on the cause seismic activity. I will share my joy, my anticipation, and playing fi eld, and even today, it’s fi tting Super Bowl Sunday, I cheered on the competitive spirit that I inherited that we are still 2.5-point underdogs. my Seattle Seahawks. I watched them from him through my loyal devotion to win a statement 43-8 victory over the the Seahawks with the rest of the 12th The Beginnings of Denver Broncos, and sent out a special Man Fans and yet, I know just where it Seattle’s 12th Man toast of thanks to my dad! Somewhere all started. Dad was one of the individuals that up there, no doubt, I have to believe that It all started with them. ●

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Welcome Home Mom & Dad! he Holidays are here! Th e hustle and bustle has already started. Th e shopping madness has begun, and soon, our home will become the center for all the activities. At this time of year it is easy for our senior parents to be either Tshuffl ed aside, or if included, it can bring added stress for them. Th e holidays are not as easy as one might think. As our senior parents age, they can be an emotionally diffi cult time; full of fears, depression, powerful memories, and unfamiliar noises, activity, and stress. Th is all contributes to seniors feeling overwhelmed as they start to lose their faculties. Th ere are many factors to consider: Seniors who are Aging in Place, their world tends to close in. Th e outside world can present too many potential challenges and accidents for them. Th ere is a fear factor in leaving their familiar surroundings. your parent to isolate. Vision challenges blanket underneath Mom and/or Dad Seniors can get the Holiday Blues. can increase the risk of falling or in the car seat not only does it assist in Have they lost someone near to them running into things. helping the process of getting in and out like a death of a spouse or dear friend? If Mom & Dad live in Retirement of the car by giving you the ability to Do they miss family members that they or Assisted Living — consult with grab the blanket, to help them shift in don’t see much anymore? Watch for care staff . Make sure you have a full the seat, lift ing them out of the car to a signs of depression! understanding from their perspective as walker or wheelchair. In addition it also Fall and winter brings about to your parents’ needs. Make sure you is added comfort and warmth if needed. added fears — Ice and Snow. Cold get any medications that they are taking Management of Medication: Th is temperatures bring on increased risk with a schedule for them to take. is extremely important for Mom and/ of slipping and falling. Skin issues can Should your parents come to visit or Dad if the visit is an extended one. result too. Does your home have draft s with you over the holidays? Yes!! Use a ‘Smart’ Pill Box, which not only or colder rooms that might cause Mom You can create an easy and pleasur- separates medication daily, but also by or Dad to chill? Snow can be scary for able environment with a little bit of fore- morning and evening. In addition, smart seniors too. If a senior feels restricted or thought and preparation for their visit. phones off er great application downloads of increased diffi culty of transportation We can provide the little things that can that can remind you when a prescription or getting home due to snow storms or make the diff erence in your parents’ needs to be taken. (RxmindMe Prescrip- fl ooding can cause increased anxiety. comfort and feeling of security. tion® or OnTimeRx®). Hearing and Vision issues: If a Here are some tips that help you be Home Temperature: Likely needs parent is hard of hearing, many hearing well prepared for your parent to your to be warmer than usual in your home. aids make everything louder. It can be family gathering: Make a point to keep your home warm, overwhelming. As a result it can cause Car Transportation: By using a and give your parent an extra blanket or

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throw to use while they visit. Give them a comfortable chair that is easy to rise up in. If your furniture sits low to the ground, stack higher cushions on top so they can rise easily. Make sure the chairs have arms and that the furniture won’t slip and slide as they rise and sit. Prepare your Home: Even if they are only coming for the day. Th ey are likely not used to all the happenings and stimulation that a holiday gathering brings. Likely it will wear them out. Mom and/or Dad need to rest or nap. Th ey need to be able to get from one place to another. Set aside some time to allow mom and/or dad time to rest and regroup. Bring a change of clothing and use a walker or who are not easily walk- ■ Double check the bathroom during extra supplies! Accidents can happen. ing, they can catch their feet on them your holiday gathering to make sure If you are bringing your parents to your and ultimately trip or fall. that the fl oor is always dry and no home, even for an aft ernoon, bring When the temperature outside gets clutter is left on the fl oor extra undergarments and a change of cold, it hits seniors much harder. Since clothing. If your parent has problems there is less muscle and fat, the ability In the living areas: with incontinence, make sure you bring to generate body heat becomes more ■ Clear walk ways from all clutter, those supplies with you as well. diffi cult. Be sure to set aside some extra including removing throw rugs A picture is worth a thousand blankets, and raise the temperature in ■ If you have area rugs, make sure they words! Th ese words were never more your home. have non-slip mats anchoring them. true when it comes to spending time Aft er the age of 60, fall and winter If so, make sure you ALWAYS assist with seniors. Oft en times grandchildren weather is not skins best friend. Be your parent when walking around in especially do not know how to connect sure to have lotion not only in the your home with their aging grandparents, and bathroom, but on the guest room ■ Don’t overpower your home with it can cause a bit of awkwardness or nightstand, too. decorations. Too much stimulation Take time to sit with your parents If your parent uses a wheelchair can be draining on seniors one-on-one, and go through family or walker, make sure there is adequate photos! Th ey will love reliving happy room for them to navigate around the ■ Limit background noise. We all love times, and sharing them with you, and bed to the door and to the bathroom. Holiday music, but to those with it eliminates the frustration of how to hearing problems it can become connect with them, or what subjects to In the bathroom: overwhelming and amplify hearing talk about. ■ Remove throw rugs from the fl oor aids. It can cause a lot of stress on ■ Purchase a raised toilet seat your senior parent. In the guest room ■ If no grab bars are in place and your ■ If anything gets spilled, clean it up It’s important to remember to re- parents need help, make sure you promptly. One small piece of candy, move fl oor and throw rugs before a visit accompany them (Or just install if slipped on can cause a catastrophic as elder parents those seniors who may grab bars) accident. ●

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Ten Ideas to Help Seniors Beat the Blues

or many seniors, the holidays aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Th ey are continuously reminded of things they are not able to do anymore. Th ey are confronted with the facts of where their lives have Fled to — which for many can be compounded with grief or loss of a spouse, friend or loved one. If you have a senior loved one in your life, there is no time more important to reach out than at this time. Th ere are some things you can do to make their holiday season special:

1. Find time to visit. Take photos from days gone by, family 5. Adopt a senior pet from a shelter! Bring the family pictures, and other types of mementoes to share. together to help that senior with its care and upkeep 2. Either take them or off er to do shopping for them. I 6. Find a senior center, retirement living, or ethnic center always took my mom on a very short shopping trip in to fi ll out their special memories. her wheelchair, and then made sure I did the rest of her 7. Bring Mom or Dad “home” for the holidays. Find ways shopping in plenty of time. I always would wrap the to include them in the festivities! presents in front of her, and when it was time to take 8. Bring cookies and other baked goods to share with some gift s to the post offi ce, she always rode along and them. Make extra for the staff ! When Mom was in waited in the car as I mailed them. (Sometimes that assisted living, I set up a table outside her room that had completion in their minds are most important.) a big candy dish fi lled with Christmas Candy, and a note 3. Bring their favorite meal and share it! Even when my to encourage everyone to take one! Mom loved that she own mother was in skilled nursing, I knew her favorite could “give” to those around her. meal was oyster stew. I made arrangements in advance to 9. Take a ride in the car and look at all the lights! Even bring it on Christmas Eve to her. We shared a special area if your parent is not able to come to your home, I am at the back of the dining room, complete with a holiday betting you can get nursing staff to help them get into tablecloth, her china, silver, crystal & candles. the car for a ride around the neighborhood to view the 4. Make a CD of their favorite music. Record your own beautiful lights! voice with your memories of when they played that song 10. Most importantly- Don’t forget to tell them just how when you were young much you love them, and how important they are to you in your life.

Th e holiday season can truly be a joyous time for them, and for you. Just keep your heart open and get creative! ●

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RetirementAssistedLiving&MemoryCare SagebrookSeniorLiving• Bellevue• - MadronaPark•FederalWay• - wwwleisurecarecom STEPHEN M. WALTAR, PS Helping people preserve their wealth, protect their family, and create their legacy!

ABOUT OUR FIRM OUR SERVICES

Our firm is dedicated to providing you with quality Legacy Planning estate planning resources, so you can become Wills & Codicils familiar with all of the existing options. When you Powers of Attorney/Living Wills visit or call our office, we want you to feel Revocable Living Trusts comfortable discussing such an important issue Incapacity Planning concerning both you and your family. We want to Asset Protection arm you with the information you need to make an Pet Trusts informed decision about your family’s future. IRA & Retirement Planning Property Agreements If you have a well-drafted estate plan in place, Trust Administration you’ll ensure that your estate passes to whom you Probate Representation want, when you want, and is carried out in the Special Needs Planning manner you’ve chosen. You can rest assured that Veteran’s Planning your family won’t have to endure the public Elder Law & Medicaid Planning process and costly matter of probate. The Irrevocable Trusts government won’t be able to take what you’ve spent a lifetime building. But you need to be aware of the many options that exist in estate planning— and you must choose your attorney wisely. Let us Help You Plan Your Next Steps Towards Protecting Your Assets ThatiswhyStephenM.Waltar,PSoffersthis wealth of free information and free seminars. Read While Providing for Your Loved Ones our Estate Planning articles (www.waltar.com), and Now, more than ever, it is vital to have a plan in place if you’re in the area, join us at an Estate Planning that will protect your assets, provide for your family, seminar. We want you to feel confident about the and spare them the burden of unnecessary taxes, choices you make—let us be your guide on the expenses, court, and delays. path toward preserving your family’s future. Happy Holidays

425.455.6788 | www.waltar.com STEPHEN M. WALTAR, PS Attorney and Counselor at Law Mind of an Attorney—Heart of a Pastor

How to Avoid Probate with a Living Trust

Whether you die with a Will or without one, probate will be required if you owned any property in your own name.

A Living Trust makes probate unnecessary by changing the way you own your property. Although you still have absolute control over all your assets, just as if you owned them directly, you do not own property in your own name. Instead, your Living Trust owns your property. And you own your Living Trust.

At first blush, that can sound like a scary proposition. But it isn’t, because you are the Trust Maker, the Trust Owner and Trust Beneficiary. So you and you alone control your Trust and the assets it owns. You can buy, sell, trade, derive income from, mortgage and give away your Trust assets, just as before. You can change your Trust, add to it, or even revoke it any time you want. Bottom line: the StephenStephen M.M. WWaltaraltar fact that your Trust owns your property has little, if any, impact on Estate PlaPlanningnning AttorneyAttorney the way you live and conduct business each day.

But what a difference the Trust makes when you die. Then, the person you’ve chosen to take charge of your Trust, your Successor If you would like to learn more Trustee, steps in and follows your direction for the disposition of your about our firm, you can request estate. Because you owned no property in your own name, there’s materials about the services we no need for probate. So there’s no publicity and, compared to probate, very little expense, delay or inconvenience for your family. offer, attorney biographies, articles, various estate planning Living Trusts are also indispensable for avoiding the indignity of living guides, and numerous reports on probate, the court proceedings that determine who will oversee your affairs in the event of your disability. A Living Trust helps you ensure a variety of estate topics at that your physical and financial needs are handled as you would want www.waltar.com. them to be.

The Living Trust isn’t exactly a new idea. Its origins date back hundreds of years. More importantly for Americans, the concept has been used in the U.S. since 1765 when Patrick Henry drafted a Trust for Robert Morris, governor of the Colony of Virginia. During this century its many proponents have included John F. Kennedy, William Waldorf Astor, John D. Rockefeller, H. L. Hunt, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. As consumers become better educated about the pitfalls of probate, all signs point to Living Trusts becoming even more popular in the years ahead.

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19 12 days of goodness | family advocate guide

Senior Care Assessment Tool for Family Caregivers

Th is questionnaire is designed to help family members assess the situation of caring for an elderly loved one. It is not intended to be a recommendation for a specifi c program of care; rather, it should provide a basis for discussion with the family, a physician or other health provider if you believe the caregiving situation needs to be improved.

Choose the answer that applies to the situation CARE RECIPIENT ISSUES generally or most of the time. Able to move out of a chair or bed alone, easily and safely 0 How much help does the Needs one person to help 1 individual need to get out of a chair or bed? Needs two people to help 2 Needs help but refuses it or does not get enough help regularly 3 Can take care of self 0 Does the individual need Oft en needs hygiene reminders 1 help with bathing or personal hygiene? Needs occasional help with bathing or hygiene 2 Needs help daily 3 Requires no help 0 How many times a day does Requires some help, 2 or 3 times daily 1 the individual require help in using the bathroom? Requires help, 4 to 6 times over a 24-hour period 2 Is unable to manage, is incontinent 3 Can walk independently 0 Uses cane 1 Uses walker 2 Is the individual able to walk? Is wheelchair bound 3 Can walk, but forgets where he/she is going or requires assistance 4 but refuses or forgets to use cane or walker. Family members/friends provide help on a regular basis /OR/ For an individual who 0 requires help (with cooking, Does not apply to our situation cleaning, shopping, bills, etc.) Family members/friends provide help, but not consistently 1 what degree of support is available at home? Lives alone and does not have any outside help 2 Yes 0 Is the home environment safe? Unsure 1 No 3 Th e individual is able to cook independently 0 Th e individual relies on family members or friends for meals 1 Th e individual relies on other outside resources, such as home 2 How are meals provided? delivered meals Th e individual does not have reliable support for meals 3 Th e individual cooks independently but has diffi culty and/or 1 makes poor nutrition choices

20 12 days of goodness | family advocate guide

Th e individual drives safely 0 Th e individual drives but not safely 1 How are transportation needs Th e individual relies on family members or friends for 1 met? transportation Th e individual relies on para-transit or taxi services. 1 Th e individual’s transportation needs are unmet 2 Th e individual can manage medications with no problems 0 How does the individual Th e individual needs help or reminders from family or others 1 handle medications? Th e individual takes medications by self, but oft en with mix-ups 2 and confusion What is the frequency of 0 times 0 emergencies (such as falling, illness or sudden agitation) 1-3 times 2 that need immediate Th ere are repeated phone calls for emergencies made to family attention, or hospitalizations, 3 in the past 6 months? members, 911, or another emergency service

Have you witnessed a Yes 2 change of personality in Sometimes 1 the individual or increased confusion? No 0

CAREGIVER ISSUES – Now let’s talk Choose the answer that applies to the situation about your needs as a caregiver. generally or most of the time. As a caregiver, in the past week have you Yes 2 felt stressed (trouble keeping your mind on Sometimes 1 what you are doing, trouble sleeping, felt ill – headache, back pain)? No 0 As a caregiver, in the past week have your Yes 2 caregiving duties interfered with your job Sometimes 1 and/or personal time with spouse/family/ friends? No 0 Yes, I am confi dent /OR/ Does not apply to our situation 0

Yes, I am confi dent as long as I have more help 1 As a caregiver, do you feel confi dent that you and other family members or friends can If the individual’s condition worsens, I question whether I will continue to provide support and care for this have the energy and/or resources to be able to provide more 1 individual as long as it is necessary? caregiving in the future No, I am already limited in my ability to continue caregiving at 2 this level, and there is no one else to help me TOTAL SCORE # ______

Points

0 – 7 May be safe at home with 2 – 9 hours of home care per week 8- 15 May be safe at home with 9 – 14 hours of home care per week 16-24 May be safe at home with increase home care of up to 24 hours per day OR may be safer at an assisted living community 25 - 36 May be safer in a nursing home/skilled nursing facility

21 12 days of goodness | family advocate guide

Nutrition for Seniors Holiday recipies that are healthy, yet yummy eeding the mind, body and soul. Remember the old saying, you are what you eat? When you choose whole grains, a variety of colorful fruits Fand veggies, and lean proteins you’ll feel wonderful, inside and out! Live Longer and Stronger – Good fewer calories and more nutrient dense mental focus and decrease the risk for nutrition keeps muscles, organs, bones, foods, keeping weight in check. Alzheimer’s disease. and other parts of the body strong. Eat- Sharpen the Mind – Scientists Feel Better Overall – Eating well ing vitamin-rich food boosts immunity know that key nutrients are essential is a feast for your fi ve senses! Healthy and fi ghts illness-causing toxins. A for the brain to do its job. Research meals give you more energy and help proper diet reduces the risk of heart dis- shows that people who eat a selection you look better, resulting in a self- ease, stroke, high blood pressure, type-2 of brightly colored fruit, leafy veggies, esteem boost. It’s all connected—when diabetes, bone loss, cancer, and anemia. certain fi sh and nuts packed with your body feels good you feel good, Also, eating sensibly means consuming omega-3 fatty acids can improve inside and out.

Avocado and Crab Soup

½ C. lump crabmeat 1 C. vegetable stock Mix crabmeat, celery, chervil and lemon zest in a bowl. 1 celery stalk, diced 2 T. crème fraîche Cover and chill crab salad. ½ t. chervil, chopped 1 T. fresh lime juice Halve and pit avocados; scoop fl esh into a blender. Add 1 t. fi nely grated lemon zest ¾ t. kosher salt vegetable stock, crème fraîche, lime juice, kosher salt, and 1¼ 2 avocados cups water. Purée until smooth. Season soup to taste with salt and pepper; chill. Divide soup among 4 bowls. Spoon crab salad into center of each bowl and serve. Roasted Pear Salad

3 fi rm ripe red pears, 1 (10 oz) package mixed In a bowl, toss pears with 1 half the melted butter. Place quartered baby salad greens in a baking pan coated with nonstick cooking spray. Bake 4 T. melted butter 1 orange, peeled and sliced at 400° F for 10 minutes. Turn pears over; bake 5-7 minutes 2 T. olive oil 2 t. orange zest longer or until golden and tender. 2 T. cider vinegar ¼ C. chopped toasted Allow pears to cool at least 30 minutes in the 1 t. water walnuts refrigerator. Take two quarters (one half of one pear) of the 1 t. honey 2 oz crumbled blue cheese pears and process through a food processor. Add the vinegar, 2 T. orange juice ¼ C. dried cranberries water, honey, salt and white pepper; cover and process until ¼ t. salt ¼ C. dried cherries smooth. While processing, slowly add olive oil. ⅛ teaspoon white pepper In a large bowl, toss the salad greens, orange slices, blue cheese, nuts and cranberries. Arrange pear slices on top; drizzle with dressing.

22 12 days of goodness | family advocate guide

Sauteed Flank Steak Put oven rack in upper third of oven and preheat oven to 500° F. Toss caulifl ower, bell peppers, and garlic with olive oil, 1 teaspoon thyme, 1 teaspoon salt, and ½ teaspoon pepper in a large bowl. Spread in a large shallow baking pan and roast, turning over once or twice, until vegetables are tender and slightly charred, 25 to 30 minutes. While vegetables roast, heat a dry 10-inch heavy skillet over moderately high heat until hot, about 3 minutes. Meanwhile, stir together remaining teaspoon thyme, teaspoon pepper, and ½ teaspoon salt in a small bowl. Pat steak dry and rub both sides with thyme mixture. Add vegetable oil to hot skillet, then add steak and sauté, turning over once, 5 to 7 minutes total for medium-rare. Transfer to a cutting board and let stand, loosely covered with foil, 5 minutes. Reserve roasted garlic cloves and 1 cup roasted bell peppers. Toss arugula with remaining roasted vegetables in pan to wilt, then transfer to a platter. 1 large head caulifl ower cut into fl orets (8 cups) Blend reserved garlic and bell peppers with broth, 5 - 2 lb red bell peppers, cut into 1-inch squares vinegar, and salt and pepper to taste in a blender until 4 large garlic cloves, peeled smooth. Transfer sauce to a small bowl or sauceboat. 1½ T. extra-virgin olive oil Holding a knife at a 45-degree angle, cut steak across the 2 t. chopped fresh thyme grain into thin slices and arrange on platter with vegetables. 1½ t. salt • 1½ t. coarsely ground black pepper Pour any juices accumulated on cutting board over meat and 1 (1-lb) piece fl ank steak, halved lengthwise (along the grain) serve sauce on the side. ½ T. vegetable oil 3 oz baby arugula ½ C. fat-free/reduced-sodium chicken broth 2 t. red-wine vinegar, or to taste

Beef Cassoulet 1¼ lbs boneless beef top sirloin beef steak cut 3/4 in thick Cut steak into ¾ in pieces. In large nonstick skillet, heat 1 T olive oil • ½ tsp salt 1 T olive oil over med high heat till hot. Stir fry beef in 2 ¼ tsp pepper • 1½ tsp olive oil batches, 1-2 minutes each or till outside is not pink. Remove 2 medium carrots cut into ¼ in thick slices from skillet- season with salt and pepper. 2 small onions cubed 8 oz button mushrooms quartered In same skillet, heat 1½ tsp oil over med heat till hot. ¼ cup dry white wine Add carrots and onions. Stir fry 5 minutes or till crisp tender. 2 16-oz cans small white beans, drained and rinsed Stir in mushrooms and wine. Continue stir-frying 5 min. 14½ oz can diced tomatoes with garlic and onion, undrained Stir in beans and tomatoes. Cook 3 minutes. Return beef to skillet. Cook 2 min till hot. Serve over rice.

23 12 days of goodness | family advocate guide

Call Our Care Line 877-214-8661 AnswersForElders.com

At AnswersForElders.com, we believe that no one should have to experience navigating taking care of your senior loved one feeling alone and unsupported. Let’s face it. We caregivers are living in a daunting world. How do we really know if we are making the right decisions for our parents? Th ere are so many things we face, and yet, if we knew what to prepare for in advance, things wouldn’t be such a crisis every time something happens that we have to step in and make decisions! Answers for Elders provides resources, education and connections to local providers in your community. Speak with one of our Care Line Consultants at 877-214-8661. Meet our founder Suzanne Perkins Newman oft en times refers to herself as the “poster child” as a classic family caregiver. A successful business woman being completely caught off guard, she was called to take care of her mother and advocate for her for the last six years of her mother’s life. It was through that journey that she learned many principles of caregiving that fueled her passion to start AnswersForElders.com, a website that is invaluable to caregivers everywhere. Suzanne is passionate about helping families fi nd the right quality of care and resources for seniors. “In my experience there was no course I could take, or training to care for my mother. Instead I was thrown into the middle of the deep ocean without swimming lessons, and somehow I needed to fi nd my way back to shore, and the crazy part was, even though I didn’t know what I was doing, my mother’s dignity, quality of life, and her care hung in the balance in was in my hands.” It is her neverending mission to help the millions of families across the USA not to have to go through what she and her mother did. “My ultimate goal is to empower caregivers. I don’t just say that as a buzz term, but instead, giving family caregivers the feeling that they understand the resources available to them, as well as have the educated knowledge base from which to make key decisions.”

24 STEPHENN M. WALTARAR, PS STEPHENN M. WALTARAR, PS Good for a free, no obligation, Good for a free, no obligation, one-hour consultation. one-hour consultation. To redeem, contact To redeem, contact 425.455.6788 or www.waltar.com. 425.455.6788 or www.waltar.com.

STEPHENN M. WALTARARA , PS STEPHENN M. WALTARARA , PS Good for a free, no obligation, Good for a free, no obligation, one-hour consultation. one-hour consultation. To redeem, contact To redeem, contact 425.455.6788 or www.waltar.com. 425.455.6788 or www.waltar.com.

STEPHENN M. WALTARAR, PS STEPHENN M. WALTARAR, PS Good for a free, no obligation, Good for a free, no obligation, one-hour consultation. one-hour consultation. To redeem, contact To redeem, contact 425.455.6788 or www.waltar.com. 425.455.6788 or www.waltar.com.