Cover: Captain Britain in The Knights of Pendragon' Interviewed: Dan Abnett, writer of the 'Knights of Pendragon' pi2,13 Lord M Obituary Penney

Lord Penney, OM, KBE, FRS, creator of the British atom bomb and Rector of Imperial between 1967 and 1973, died on March 3rd of this year, aged 81. William Penny was one of the most outstanding mathematicians and physicists of his generation. In 1944 he travelled to America to work an the Manhattan project; the project culminated in the invention of the World's first atom bomb. In 1947 Lord Penney was put in charge of the development of a British atom bomb. According to the Independent Newspaper, he was 'an active and inspiring leader' during atomic testing in Australia in the early 1950's. Over thirty years later an Australian Royal Commission investigating the testing heard evidence that the tests had been unsafe. When questioned by the commission Lord Penney acknowledged that he had devised a way of misleading Australian scientists about the radiation levels an nuclear dust clouds, providing them with samples that were a few days old, so that some of the short-lived key isotopes had decayed. Lord Penney was appointed chairman of the United Kingdom Atomic Energy Authority (UKEAEA) in 1964. On his retirement from the UKEAEA in 1967 he was appointed rector of Imperial College. In 1935 Lord Penney married his first wife Adele Elms, who died in 1944. They had two sons. He married again in 1945, to Joan Quennel. Illegal A new student broadsheet, distributed around Imperial College campus this week, is illegal. The one page first edition of 'The Free Student' fails to include the printer's name, thus contravening publishing law. The Free Student is Hustings Hassle published under the auspices of the Conservative Party and is based at Party Headquarters Smith Street. The Youth co-ordinator at Conservative The Sabbatical candidates were given a held in past years at St Mary's was headquarters described the omission of rough ride at the St Mary's hustings. The because Imperial's were scheduled over the printer's name as an 'error'. He candidates arrived at the Medical School's lunch-times. He thought that next year refused to release the telephone number union just at the close of a happy hour there would be one evening hustings on of the editor of 'The Free Student', Rob on Monday evening. One candidate said the Imperial campus. Marven. The Youth co-ordinator did not 'It was like holding hustings in the middle This year's hustings at Imperial were on want the gentleman concerned 'pestered'. of a RCS beer festival'. Thursday 7th March in the JCR. Voting He then claimed that he had overall Despite Imperial Union Honorary takes place on the 11th and 12th March editorial responsibility for the publication Secretary Murray Williamson explaining in all departments. even though his name did not appear on the purpose of the meeting to assembled Candidates standing for the Sabbatical the credits. students, candidates were heckled with posts of Imperial College Union are as The publication states that it aims to calls of 'What are you doing here?'. One follows: promote 'individual freedom of choice' candidate was sufficiently offended by the and to 'fight against socialism in colleges heckling to lodge an official complaint President Zoe Hellinger, Adrian Johnson, across the country'. According to a source with Imperial College Union. Spenser Lane, Michael Newman at Tory HQ the 'Conservative Students' Murray Williamson said that hustings at Deputy President Jonathan Griffiths based the tabloid format of 'Free Student' St Mary's next year are unlikely. He Honorary Secretary Steve Farrant on the left of centre publications. stated that the only reason hustings were Felix Editor Adam Harrington

2 Access Rent Scandal

Students should start receiving money Residents of many of the college halls will The college authorities have made the from the Access Fund soon. The fund have to pay full rent over the Easter Linstead basement available for storage of stands at over a quarter of a million vacation, or empty their rooms. Last year students possessions. The pre-paid pounds. Mr Cullen, in overall charge of students were charged only a week's rent insurance only covers loss up to £150 and money distribution, has processed all to be able to leave belongings in their for increased cover students would have applications from undergraduates living in rooms. Halls affected are Southside, to pay their own premium. hall or in college accommodation. Linstead, Beit , Garden, Weeks and One Linstead resident said 'I don't think Tomorrow he will make the first request Evelyn Gardens. I should be penalised for the sake of for appropriate cheques to be issued by The wardens were not consulted or college making a fast buck'. Union the college finance section. forewarned about this dramatic change in President, Paul Shanley, advised students Mr Cullen intends to process the college accommodation policy. Whether 'not to make arrangements to move out remaining applications, two thirds of the the decision was taken by the college until the situation has been clarified by five hundred total, by the end of term. accommodation or by a separate college officials within the accommodation The first cheques, according to Mr Cullen, department is unclear at the moment. sector.' will be issued within the week. RCS Increases Scrap- Garden Metal Stockpile Fire m

The Fire Brigade were called out to Garden Hall, last Monday, when a fire was reported in one of the kitchen areas. At about 10.30am, a microwave, which was not being used at the time, burst into flames. The housekeeper, Margaret Gaskin, immediately left her office in Weeks Hall and extinguished the fire. Soon afterwards, three fire engines arrived, but were not required. Despite alarms, the hall was not completely evacuated. The recently refitted kitchen will now have to be redecorated again. The assistant Warden, Dr. Ian Metcalfe, said that there had been a 'fair amount of damage'. Anti-War Jeremy Corben, Labour MP, spoke at an anti-war meeting at Imperial on Tuesday. The meeting was organised by Imperial Spanner and Bolt, the City and Guilds Spurred on by their recent success the College Anti-War Society. College Union mascots, have been taken Royal College Of Science Union mascotry Forty students listened to Mr Corben as by two members of the Royal College Of team yesterday acquired the UCL mascot, he outlined both his thoughts' on the Gulf Science Union. The mascots were present 'Phineas MacLino', a six foot tall, War and the recent cease-fire. Mr Corben for the C&GU 40th Annual Engineers' Ball unattractive, Highlander. Many people felt that it was likely the peace at the Park Lane Hotel. were involved, mainly due to the interest movement would be fighting for the Guilds mascot bearers, Tim Newton- generated by the events of the previous withdrawal of troops a year from now. Smith and Karl Edwin, had left Spanner weekend. Mr Corben answered students' questions and Bolt with Hotel Staff under the C&GU were philosophical about their loss. including why he remained a Labour assurance that they would be totally safe. 'It has got its plus sides; it is potentially a member since he was diametrically With an unusual display of cunning, two good opportunity to raise money and to opposed to his leadership's stance on the members of RCS Mascotry approached get more Freshers involved'. UCL were Gulf. Mr Corben replied that if'he the security desk at the Park Lane Hotel, unamused by yesterday's incident; one resigned it would reduce yet further and claimed that they were Guilds, and UCL student stated that there had been Parliamentary 'opposition' to the war. wanted to pick up their mascots. no mascotry activity at UCL for the last A student who attended the meeting After receiving the mascots they were twenty years. UCL are rumoured to have described the ensuing discussion on many able to leave the hotel seemingly informed the Police. aspects of the conflict as 'constructive'. unchallenged.

3 9 Viewpoint FELIX Do you prefer boxer shorts or y-fronts and are you going to vote in the sabbatical elections?

Kerry:

Y-fronts are a real turn-off—they're Sarah: Boxer shorts, because y-fronts look like bulgy, horrible and very unsexy. sausages in a sac—all lumpy and squidgy. What's a sabbatical? Boxer shorts—you can get at it more What sabbatical elections? easily. What elections?

i

if:

Mike: Oily: Jez: Boxer shorts because they give the Prefer boxer shorts for looks and freedom that one requires...unrestricted comfort although at times they can be Boxer shorts; paisley y-fronts would access (can get your hand down your uncomfortable. look stupid wouldn't they? 'cacks' without too much hassle). What are those? Oh, they're something What are sabbaticals? Which elections? No I'm not going to vote because I to do with the Union aren't they? Where is IC? Who am I? have no arms!?! George's So, What Did You Do Last FELIX Summer? Diary The scene: IC's party time on Friday cocktail-credibility? (i.e. good for small night, you're dressed to kill and you've talk) you may be interested to know a Monday 25 Feb finally managed to manoeuvre today's little bit more about my summer work. Went to see Kindergarten Cop at Fulham love interest into check-mate. Ouch! It's I've spent the last two summers Road cinema with Henry. Couple of pints small-talk time! But this is not Freshers' working in America for the Southwestern in the Goat in Boots first, you just know Week—no more feeble 'A' Level/School Publishing Company. In 1989 I was on a they won't stay quiet and we both had to inquisitions here. This is the advanced sales internship, where I ran my own go for a piss half way through the film. session; long silences and hesitant business, marketing school books. I questions prefixed by the ubiquitous 'so'. turned over about $10,000 in the 'So...what did you do last summer?' summer. Last summer I was promoted Friday 1st March There—it's out. The question hangs and ran a five man team as a student Out with Henry, met a few mates on the between you like Damacles' sword. Does manager responsible for $26,000 of way. Southside, Union, legless. Tried to an inappropriate answer imply doom? Do business. This year I shall be working come on to a pretty black girl but got put you answer truthfully about that bar job with other managers and about fifteen down severely. Henry went back to a in the Pig and Whistle? Do you lie students. mate's house for a smoke. I was feeling outright? (Well, actually I piloted Richard As my business has grown, so has my randy so decided to call on Nadine, an Branson's private hot air balloon). Or do experience and confidence. And not only American girl I keep trying to seduce. you take the 'truth plus' embelishment can I discuss by business interests in the She didn't seem to mind being knocked path? US at cocktail parties—it also makes for up at 12.45am. It's embarrassing isn't it? Why should interesting conversation with potential 'Hi, Nadine, it's George.' you have to embelish in the first place? employers. 'George, what are you doing here?' Probably the Pig and Whistle was all that After all, how many other milkround 'I was on my way home from the was available in the last weeks of July, candidates have run their own business Union, I just thought I'd call on you. Do when you finally resigned yourself to and made a profit? you mind—what time is it?..Quarter to looking for summer work. Isn't there Last summer, the top first year (with one—sorry. I didn't wake you up did I?' anything more rewarding? Southwestern) made $20,516. The 'No, we're always up. My brother's How about getting a job lined up before average first year made around $3,500. here, he's stying till Thursday.' So no sex Easter? Why not be prepared this year; And some made no money; that's the real tonight. She promised to phone so I went set yourself apart from the crowd? world of business. quietly. Perhaps you have aspirations to run your Do you feel above average? Do you own business some day? Do your own want to set yourself apart from your straw poll amongst peers; I'll bet 95% say peers? What are you going to do this Saturday 2nd they've considered running their own summer? Come along to room 542 in Out with Tim and a couple of American business some day, yet probably no more Mech Eng at 12.45pm on Friday 8th girls. One, Melanie, noticed our video, than 5% will have considered how they March, or telephone 071-701 0786 and Tits and Clits. Then the conversation might achieve that aim. If by this stage find out how you could improve your moved to another film and whether John you're thinking: own business? Summer party talk. Holmes had got his whole cock up some work lined up by Easter? Work with girl. 'It was this long', Melanie insisted,- 'and she only took about this much of it!' l^^^^H^^H^^^B^IBHI^fl (about a third). flllStS'tlft .Slj* s^B*4j^i(jiiiliBiiiiiiif Didn't go very well with the girls, HHHBt instead we went for an Indian at the New IHHHHiHP f: Asia in Earl's Court. They told us they were closed. Then a couple of guys came in behind us and got a table. I complained to the manager. 'How come .. . . , L. ,,, you let these guys in if you're closed?' |j5Wf It JilifflP . as, 'They very good friends, live two doors 8s«§|Sjy%;?i6fc'- "Cliff away.' 'Yeah, well I live across the road too, J! and we come in here every week, maybe two times a week! I tell you we won't be coming in again if you don't serve us now.' Boring Lectures Column But he didn't want our custom, I left quietly. That's the last time we go in Dear Kylie, nutty tanged zest of yours. there though. I am in love with you. Come to my 'Kylie, Kylie, .' . ~ loins my darling, and let us make love. You make me feel all smiley' Huh, 'I should be so lucky'. Come and I want to scratch that bloody Hutchence Sunday 3rd 'Step back in time' with me. Please don't eyes out. He's no good for you. He likes Compiled a list of courseworks and when leave me with 'tears on my pillow'. Don't veils that are misty, streets that are blue, they were due. I just couldn't face it, worry, I won't hurt you, I mean it's almond looks and suicide blondes. 1 love went down the pub with Henry for a 'better the devil you know' anyway. 'How you. lunchtime session. can 1 prove I really love you, love you' Signed, my darling? Let me taste that honeyed Patrick Pantry. Jack & Harry & Their Best Friend Avalon

You could tell that you were in a more often than not. comedy pub. The barman cracked a The atmosphere of the venue certainly joke when 1 ordered a helped, situated, as it was, above The Old soft drink. He didn't stop all evening. Coffee House (a pub). The compactness of Look, I was on medication, OK? the audience, and the regular alcohol Meanwhile, after an intro stand-up breaks (except for me, as I was on comedian gave us a little tirade on the pepsi...) really helped the evening flow. London Underground and Saddam Did the audience enjoy themselves, my Hussein ('Prepare to face the mother of lovies? They did. As for the friend (who all gaps, infidel swine...'), Jack and Harry does an extended set), he was funny, but finally made it on stage. Do you he's a different person each week (if you remember the days when your parents see what I mean), so there's not really watched 'buddy, buddy' comedians, who much point reviewing him, is there? Mind were so excruciatingly bad, you ended up you, for his purposes, we were a lousy going away to do something (anything) audience... else? These two are supposedly 'failed' For an intimate, cheap and good members of this community, brought out evening's comedy, you could do a lot of retirement, and they 'might be doing worse than this. Oranje Boom Boom is some new material, a little bit later on'. found at 49 Beak St, Wl. Jack and Harry It's rather a good parody, but for one etc, is on every Tuesday, with Doors Sam Krichinsky carne to America in slight slip up. They're funny. Both their opening at 8.30. Student tickets cost 1914. Then he came to Baltimore. jibes at these old-times variety acts, and £2.50. Take your Union card! It was the most beautiful place he more modern day issues hit the mark Pendragon had seen in his entire life. He obviously hadn't been around much, had he? He joins his brothers. They start a family. The family has its ups and downs. Grease He dies. This has been done before. This Most people remember the film has been done better. For example: version of this play, which started a Parenthood was funnier, Hope and Glory minor craze in the 70s. The original had more charm and this has stage play had a harder edge, which has sentimentality. been successfully transfered to stage. To give the film its due, it's beautifully Choreographed by a professional actress, acted, the cinematography is stunning on it carries the audience along in a wave of occasions, and some of the subplots are sheer enthusiasm. fairly interesting. Barry Levison, the The amateur cast rose to the challenge director, has described it as being derived superbly in most cases, and the 'Teen from memories of stories told by his Angel' dream sequence is a comic grandfather, and it shows. Too much of it masterpiece. Surely the cheapest musical comes across as a disjointed series of in London at the moment. vaguely related incidents. His own Grease is playing at QMW's Great Hall, feelings seem to have leaked into the Mile End Road today at 4.00pm and very substance of the film, leaving it 8.00pm and tickets cost £2.50 on the awash with sentimentality, but with very door. A wop bop a loo wop a wop bam little of any real substance. This is not a boom! great film. Penny. Pendragon. Glasses A night out watching poetry is not giggles. Improvisation in the style of Whose many people's idea of a good time. He said later you can always add to Line is it Anyway was tried, with the But when the poet is John Hegley, something by putting humour in. Most of audience calling out subjects as cheese, it's a different story. his poems were written on this basis, fish and eggs to inspire poetry. Not much After making his name on the comedy they attacked his subjects, in particular humour there I'm afraid. circuit, John Hegley appears on ITV's his macho brother-in-law who believed This was certainaly not a standard Friday late night poetry programme and men don't drink half pints. poetry reading, but at £2 for students it regularly in the national press. He is now The only poem which contained no can be an entertaining and original on tour with guitarist 'Nigel'. humour at all was about his father's evening's entertainment. His performance was short and sharp, death. After having made us laugh at the The Poetry Society meets at 21 Earl's concentrating on mundane aspects of life, way his father used to beat him, which Court Road (Earl's Court tube) on at the same time as keeping his audience left marks called 'supersunburn', John Tuesdays and Thursdays. Speakers in the in hysterics. The material was delivered Hegley tried to make amends by next weeks include: Gavin Ewart who has in the slow, deadpan manner of a suicidal describing his father's last hours in a spoken at Imperial College, Les Murray depressive interspaced with bursts of hospital bed. Seeming embarrassed after well known Australian poet and Frank energy and emotion in the middle of a this he quickly moved on, ignoring a Delaney. poem. This, along with verbal attacks on poignant moment in the midst of the Jonty. the audience, reduced most people to laughter. 6 The Godfather part III

This is a very depressing film. It is progression) lies in his ability to (presumably to give the Godfather some depressingly bad. That's a little acknowledge his past and then 'sin no stature). There seems to have been much harsh perhaps—what should be said more'. 'What betrayed me? My mind, or criticism of Coppola's decision to cast his is that this part never matches the power my heart?' he asks in desperation. daughter, Sofia, in the part of Michael's of the two previous Godfathers. daughter, Mary. However she seems to Michael Corleone (The Godfather) is lend some charm to the film with her now old and slightly haggard, he is a skew smile and 'unconventional' very different man from the confident (Hollywood parlance for non-model) and increasingly ruthless megalomaniac looks. Andy Garcia plays the bastard of the past. The plot is still concerned nephew, who is only too keen to carry with the legitimising of the family the torch of violence on Michael's behalf. business, as in the second film. Somehow Coppola also leads an attack on the Michael must drag the family and, more Vatican, implicating the church with the importantly, himself, out of the mire of business world of the mafia. At times the violence, crime and corruption that is point is a little laboured, and the crude their past. Whereas in the second film skulduggery rather hard to swallow—the Michael is unable to stop the destruction Vatican has much more subtle means of of his personal world through his own 'persuasion'. actions, he is at last able to understand Francis Ford Coppola seems to have the chaos he has created around himself. lost his creative juices in the making of The question Coppola (the director) this film. Somehow he pulled it off presumably wants the audience to ask brilliantly in Part II, but one feels that he themselves is whether Michael Corleone rached his limit in the first sequel and will do it? Can Michael escape from his that there wasn't really a story for the own history, to carve out a new Al Pacino leads the role of Michael third—this film relies on the success of existence? Michael's redemption (this is a Corleone. His part lacks the beautiful the past, without itself being creative. man, remember, who went so far that serenity that characterised his roles in the This will very likely be a profound even the murder of his own brother, previous films, and has developed a disappointment for most viewers. poor, pitiful Fredo, seemed like a natural Brandoesque hoarseness in his voice I.H. Duck Tales Pacific Heights —The Movie

Pacific Heights, a desirable area of It's Donald's mean old Uncle Victorian residencies in San Scrooge with his band of Francisco, gains two new residents, resourceful nephews and singularly these being Patty Palmer (Melanie cute niece out to accumulate themselves Griffith) and Drake Goodman (Matthew a tidy bundle of treasure and dosh. This Modine), who renovate their home and takes them out into the desert in search wish to rent out various rooms to possible of the trez of Colly Baba which Scrooge tenants. The scene is set for John has been after for forty years. Throw in a Schlesinger's new psychological thriller. In magic lamp with a free genie in issue one comes Carter Hayes (Michael Keaton) as a add a soupcon of big bad wizard who can smooth and apparently rich prospective change into any animal that looks mean rentee, who appears to be every and has a bad rep among children, and landlord's dream (and the first nail is that Walt Disney butt kicking action is driven in). Before you can say 'But he ready to roll. The genie is quite naturally was such a nice bloke in Batman' he's in a nice little kid who gets up to wacky the room with all the locks changed and japes and only wants to be real and he not budging for neither love nor money. exception of an excellent scene where makes friends with the kidderoos. It's What's to do? He's signed no papers or Keaton watches static on the T.V. and mind numbingly obvious what happens, paid money but has tenant's rights just plays alternatively with a Cockroach, which makes it damn good fun. The for being in the house. An eviction order razor-blade and pussy-cat). Keaton's treasure bits are taken straight from takes time and they just don't know what performance is the most outstanding point Raiders of the Lost Ark and the rest from he's up to (plenty of sawing and banging). of the film, portraying a character who the Radion advert. Keaton lays out subtle ploys and legal may be suave, deadly, calculated or In the good old days (relative traps that Modine springs with an murderous. A nice point is Tippi Hedren, chronography as opposed to BBC music ignorant persistence that grates. Only the Melanie Griffith's mother, turning up as hall prog) the misers always got theirs in smarter Griffith seems able to see what the rich Florence Peters who Keaton the end but in todays enlightened the very naughty resident is up to, but attempts to con. capitalist state they can keep the cash she always seems at most risk from: his Keaton is an evil git, Griffith is a smart and get a bit more provided they give a lurking. git and Modine is just a plain git. A little painful enough moral nugget for the kids The battle for the house is an addictive too mainstream to get any real to barf on. Nice to see Donald's speech base for a story that grows at an psychological tension but a good attempt. impediment isn't genetic and the lack of a exponential rate that you know will end A good film that could do for renting zany pelican chasing the duck family in tears for one party or the other. As a what Fatal Attraction did for shagging came as a relief. Disney fun for the fluffy psychological thriller it fails to give any Glen Close. stonkers amongst you. real unnerving qualities (with the Yours, The Amazing McHine The 'Mazin' Mac' Last term Audio Soc's obscurity came to an end and they became.

FEATURES Hi-Fi Hipsters

Somewhere in the deep and distant past tankbusters. Well, the magazine is now out, it's the that was last term a light flickered at the Meanwhile, back at the plot, the team March edition, costs £2.80 and includes a end of Audiosoc's tunnel of obscurity. It was completed by the addition of Mike free CD. was nothing less than a call from a soon- and Darren. So, one cold and wet When the magazine warned they would to-be-quit e-famous-indeed (we hope!) December morning our heroes and the use some 'journalistic licence' in writing magazine calling itself 'Hi-Fi World'. other three met in a cul-de-sac in Maida the article they weren't wrong, but at Feeling that their magazine needed Vale, where they found the offices of said least its not libellous! something just short of sensational for its magazine (actually the editor's house). Meanwhile AudioSoc carries on, first issue they had decided to contact They were all ushered into the living offering cheap records, tapes and CDs to ICU AudioSoc in the hope that we could room, or in hi-fi jargon the 'listening its members (some catalogues are in the find one day in our busy and hectic (?) room'. The five were given a pen and Haldane Library provided no one has lives to help in the writing of an article paper each and asked to write down their nicked them) as well as discounts on all on 'student hi-fi systems'. The idea was to opinions on the five systems placed the hi-fi you can buy from those oh-so- choose some cool and trendy students before them. nice people at the Cornflake Shop, which (then why choose IC?) to give the article Little did our friendly hi-fi journalist is situated in Windmill Street, just off some real street-cred. know but no one had a clue of what Tottenham Court Road. It's run by two On hearing this momentous news fancy reviewing terms such as 'midband ex-IC students who open their doors to Malcolm (Chairman and the main hero of colouration' or 'top-end smearing' meant. the public at 10am Monday to Saturday our story) along with Richard (creative Fortunately, they were not found out, but as they still haven't got out of the habit accountant cum treasurer and somewhat Rich nearly blew it by expressing his of missing every 9.30am start. Why did less of a hero) went into the Union to opinion had a 'logarithmic' bass frequency they name it after a breakfast cereal? quaff an ale or three (between them of rolloff (trust a physicist!). However, far Er... course) to celebrate the fact that they from becoming suspicious, the hi-fi AudioSoc also organises trips and would soon be megastars before realising journalist was deeply impressed with such demos by manufacturers. Forthcoming that most people wouldn't give a toss. succinct reviewing, which just goes to attractions include a trip to Arcam on The deputy editor had asked for five show what a good bullshitter he is (yep, March 13, a trip to Roksan on Wednesday people including a girl (!?) to help with definitely a physicist). Despite this, the March 20, and a possible demo by Linn the article. Needless to say this was the five were very impressed with sound supremo Ivor Tietenbrum in the near source of much amusement for our two quality of all the systems presented to future. Meetings are every Tuesday, heroes. However, as luck would have it, them. 12.30pm in the Union SCR or contact Richard managed to persuade a first year After the reviewing was over it was Malcolm Myers (Elec Eng 3) or Richard mathematician to join at Freshers' Fair. photo time, where everyone was asked to Jones (Physics 3). Membership is £2.50 You would have too if he'd threatened strike a unique (read silly) pose with their which pays for itself (and more) with your you with a conversation on how the system. After suitably embarrassing first record order or your first purchase turbo-charged tractors on his farm are themselves (see piccy) they all went home from the Cornflake Shop. used for target practice by A-10 to await the results.

PARTY TONIGHT March 8th 8pm BANDS DISCO BAR-B-Q BAR EXTENSION AT LINSTEAD HALL'S 23rd BIRTHDAY PARTY, EX- LINSTEAD AND GUESTS WELCOME Intellectual property rights have caused quite a stir over the years... Thought = Money?

The Beatles, IBM, Kodak, Carlton Communications, The Soviet Government. What do all these have in common? If you had been present at last week's Physics Department Colloquium then you would have learnt the answer. All of the above are examples of people involved in court actions over intellectual property rights, the subject of the talk given by Mr Clifford Miller, a former IC Physics student. 'Intellectual property rights' is a broad term covering patents, copyrights, trademarks, designs, brand names, servicemarks and a whole host of different things. It can cover anything from the design of a chocolate bar to a silicon chip. The importance of intellectual property is quite plain; even if you devise similar technology as another company, as long as they hold rights for the use of that technique you cannot compete in the market. Thus it is necessary to take steps to protect any technology and development before anyone else does. Firstly, intellectual property could be guarded by patents, the most complex method available. To patent an invention it must usually be new, or have some new aspect to it. Interesting patents include that held for the process of making an 'Aero' chocolate bar, the process used in Polaroid 'instant' cameras, and one held by the British Railways Board for a Nuclear Powered spaceship. A patent affords your invention a twenty year monopoly, giving protection to essential features. If a product is made using all of the main parts then it is infringing the patent. If you tell someone a piece of information It is very important, therefore, to There are two systems for filing an then, as long as you oblige them to ensure that your new product looks application for a patent. Most countries, maintain its confidentiality, any discussion totally different from any other already in including the United Kingdom, use a 'first with someone else breaks the law. the market. This explains the use, by to file' method: whoever gets there first Well known examples include the Lever Bros., of bright orange for the has the patent. Thus it is very important formula for Coca-Cola, and the recipe for packaging of their 'Radion' washing to keep an invention's details completely 'Kentucky Fried Chicken'. This method is, powder. confidential until the application has been however,limited if someone else can take If you have an idea which you think is made. In the United States, a first-to- the product apart and analyse it: you a winner, I urge you to follow the advice invent system operates: people tend to have then lost your secrecy. given by Mr Miller: publish details first to show they invented Using design protection can also be a 'Tell no-one about it if you can avoid it, and then lose their rights in other way to maintain revenues. In the UK, it.' countries. copyright, design rights, and registered 'If the idea is for a patentable invention... Applications can be a large source of designs are available to the inventor or do not lose your rights... by failing to information on what has already been designer. They protect the look of a make at least the first patent application.' done- the application must completely product. 'If you have enough money, fund the disclose the methods and details. If someone makes use of the effort you product all the way... yourself.' Patent applications can be costly, and put into your design then they could be after four years have elapsed the patent impinging upon your rights. This article is just a brief, and simple, must be renewed annually until the A final option for your product is the introduction to intellectual property twentieth year. This can cost from £100, protection of company names, logos, rights. For more information consult the up to £350 for a patent in its final year. packaging, and the general marks for book 'Commercial Exploitation of Failure to renew can lead to the lapse of your product. If a trademark (whether Intellectual Property' by Hilary Pearson the patent: though a lapse of a patent registered, or not) is used for any other and Clifford Miller. It covers the whole cannot be relied upon to allow an product, where there might be confusion subject at great depth and is well indexed infringement. over its identity, then they are guilty of for referral to most things you could Another, simple, method of protecting 'passing off. UK law protects a user possibly want to know. your interests is the law of confidentiality. against passing off. 9 The Slow Moving Snail wishes you were here then...

Such, Such Were the Joys

at an overview of the history since 1907. As such it is worth a read. If only he had written about the 'history of the student kKSoners as social phenomena' and filled the gap he acknowledged existed in the history of colleges. A book, Breaking the Shackles, published by an IC student, does look mm more at what it was like to be a student here one hundred years ago. The author uses quotes from H.G.Wells' novels and short stories to compare Wells' life as a student here with his own experiences. It provides an enlightening and controversial picture of learning, within the wider frame of the present debates about national curriculum and education standards. These are all inexpensive good reads. Two further volumes are large and Over the years Imperial College and its expensive, suitable for the study shelf constituents have celebrated numerous rather than the coffee stained table tops. anniversaries. With all the name changes A Hundred Years of Civil Engineering at that have gone on during its history South Kensington edited by Joyce Brown every year becomes an opportunity to and City and Guilds College - A Poisoning celebrate, or milk it for fund-raising Centenary History are books I will publicity. Luckily, for us, they have also reserve a week to read. the World been used to publish historical accounts A fascinating look at the relationship of the college. between politics and science, The Visible in Steps As a young undergraduate I walked to College by Gary Werskey, describes the lectures, across Princes Gardens, with a lives of British Scientists who linked their Second Stride is an award-winning dance feeling of being a part of an exciting science to their socialism. Hymen Levy, group who have successfully history. This was the planned centre of Dean of the Royal College of Science experimented with movement, music, the scientific excellence promoted by the (1947-52), receives a comprehensive spoken and sang word as means of Prince Consort, a place where great men coverage. He was a famous populariser of exploring the motives, emotions and ideas and women had studied and taught. I felt science - writing and appearing on behind four poisoners. Lives of the Great proud to be here, in a small way television and radio. For those who think Poisoners portrays Dr Crippen, Medea becoming a part of this tradition. this place is non-political this will be an and Marquise de Brinvilliers. There are at least five books, available educational book. The fourth character is one who gives in college, that describe the birth and Most of these books are available from this highly exhilarating piece a wider development of Imperial. The best for the the ICU Bookstore. The Archives booklet moral view. Thomas Midgley was a price, pictorial and language style, is the costs £2:75 from Archives (Level 4 brilliant scientist who discovered the anti- award-winning publication, Imperial Sherfield). The Visible College can be knock properties of lead compounds in College by Imperial College Archives. ordered from any good bookshop petrol and found the first practical This is a small, high quality colour (published by Free Association Books, application of CFCs. His work has booklet, aptly suitable for parental coffee ISBN 1- 85343-014-5). therefore contributed to the present tables offering one-upmanship on filial environmental threats to our communities success, and for quoting snippets to those and planet. As a scientist he was highly poor friends at less historical places. It dramatic, presenting his findings in a gives an invaluable summary of the theatrical style on a stage. To show the people and events behind our history. If harmless nature of CFCs he breathed in you want somewhere to start learning a the gas and blew out a candle with it. bit about what this college represents The tragic irony of his early death (he there is no better place. was strangled by a system of pulleys he A more comprehensive study, Science had designed to move his disabled body for Industry, is provided by A. Rupert around his house) appears as a powerful Hall, once Professor of the History of image of the unseen circumstances of our Science here. It is disappointing in that, science and technology. though it fills the details in, it does not All scientists should go to see how this provide enough explanation about the 'outstanding array of creative talents' relationship of the college to wider have portrayed the values of their changes in education and science. Much subject. The production runs from is assumed, for instance the 1870 Forster Tuesday 12 to Saturday 16th March, 7:30 Education Act launched state education in pm at the Riverside Studios, Crisp Road, this country, though this is not explained. Hammersmith (near the tube). Box Office Also there is a lack of an index. His 081 748 3354. Ticket prices S7.50/&5.50 Preface states that this is the first attempt reductions.

10 Yasmin Saudi gives her opinion on the recent Jewish Society exhibition.

Facts and Figures? OPINION

The Middle East...it's a long but Violence and upheaval have been negotiations with Israel within the uncomplete story. worsened by the impact of Israel, whose framework of the International Comments on the main titles of the defeat of the Arab states in 1948 and Conference. Israel is clearly recognised as Jewish Soceity Exhibition 1967 undermined their governments. a legitimate state in the PNC's Israel has meddled in Lebanon since the endorsement of the UN General Assembly At the beginning of the twentieth 1950s. partition resolution as it relates to the century, the Middle East was a single unit The only movement whose very establishment of two states in what was containing many contrasting people. Such existence revolved around the destruction mandatory Palestine. Diplomacy and disparity caused the unit to crumble. of Israel was the PLO. Its aims are peaceful settlement are chosen to achieve At the beginning of the twentieth enshrined in its constitution, it has never Palestinian goals. Terrorism in all its century the Middle East consisted of the been changed. In fact the articles that forms—individual, group and state is Ottoman Empire, Egypt, Oman and Aden followed were taken from the Palestinian emphatically rejected. which was directly under the British National Charter which is not the same as Hence it is evident that after the empire. The Arab world is fairly the constitution. nineteenth PNC in November 1988 in homogeneous in its values, traditions, The Charter has gone through three Algiers, the National Charter was to all culture, history and language. phases, which are as follows: intents and purposes, thought not in 'Contrasting' is non-descriptive of the Stage One: The 'total liberation' phase specific terms, rescinded, since the basic Arab people. The division of the eastern from 64 through to 68. The National premises of the Declaration of Arab world into many states followed the Charters in that phase were characterised Independence (eg the partition of Sykes-Picot agreement in 1916 and the by the enormous sense of loss and not by Palestine as the objective and peaceful implementation of British and French the 'destruction of Israel'. Article 15 of negotiation as the means of achieving it) mandates in the region. The exhibition the Palestine National Charter of 1968 and the basic premises of the National implied that Israel came into existence in states that 'The liberation of Charter (eg the total liberation of the same way as the Arab states did. It Palestine...aims at the elimination of Palestine as the objective and armed should be clarified that while the Arab Zionism in Palestine' and not the people struggle as the exclusive means of states gained their independence from the of Israel. There is no mention of achieving it) are fundamentally opposed. British and the French mandates, the UN destroying Israel, in the sense of killing Arafat was correct when during his visit General Assembly set a partition plan for its people. to Paris in May 1989, he pronounced the Palestine in October 1947, to create two Stage two: The secular democratic state National Charter 'caduc' or 'lapsed', states, one for the Jews and one for the phase from 69 to 73. The liberated though in the formal sense it is still Arabs, and to allot the Jewish state 56.6 Palestine envisaged in the Charter as operative. per cent of the land of Palestine of which amended in 1968 and supplemented by But note the PLO was established in 64. 90 per cent was Arab owned and 50 per the Palestine National Council resolutions Its desire to annihilate Israel had nothing cent Palestinian Arab populated. The was that of a secular democratic states, to do with the West Bank and Gaza. creation of Israel was accompanied by all of whose citizens, regardless of See above. The PLO is an overall body the expulsion of two thirds of the religion or race, would have equal rights concerned not only in the political side of Palestinians living in the area* The and opportunities. the Palestinian life but also in supporting independence of Israel was not the Stage Three: The two state solution education, health services and Palestinian independence of the indigenous people of phase, which evolved into an explicit art and culture. It has always sought to Palestine. spelled-out acceptance of a Palestinian rebuild Palestinian society and to promote Under the title 'Use Your Democratic state alongside Israel not as a transitional the welfare of the Palestinians. This is Rights', the exhibition conveyed the idea stage but as a final one. what has made it change its goals from of the absence of democracy from the The evolution of the PLO's peace those set out in 1964: it now seems a Middle East apart from Israel. strategy was finalised at the adoption of realistic compromise. While democracy does not constitute an The Political Program and the Declaration Yasmin Saudi. integral part of most Arab regimes, it is of Independence by the 19th Palestinian not absent. Egypt has licensed parties and National Council in 1988, together with *See the UN General Assembly/Official there is a fair degree of freedom of the Arafat's statement in Geneva a month Record, 6th session, supplement no 16A, press. In Jordan, democratic elections later. These set the UN Security Council 1951. The UN Economic survey Missions took place recently and the press is Resolutions 242 and 338 as the basis for Report, 1949. relatively open. Yemen and Algeria are convening an international peace preparing for democratic elections. In the conference in the Middle East and declaration of Independence of May 1948, the principle of equality between Jews and Arabs in the new state of Israel was proclaimed. In practice, Israel has yet to abolish discrimination and inequality Deadlines between the two political and social rights (eg the Absentee Property Law of 1950, Law of Return, discrimination in Once again, the deadlines for submissions to Felix municipal finance and job hire). They supported international terrorism are and sent their own people to murder Unarranged material—Monday Lunchtime worldwide. 'They' above refers to the Arab states. It Prearranged material—Tuesday Lunchtime should have been specified that the only states that are linked to terrorism are Syria, Libya and Iraq. You have been warned! So appalling violence has prevailed irrespective of Israel's existence. Alien Sex Fiend and Pendragon meet Dan Abnett, co-writer of one of their favourite comics and ask him about... Magic and Dolphins, Heroes and Rainforests...

Dan Abnett is the co-writer (with John away a pile of comics, a big pile about doing, working for the college magazine, the things I thought I knew about them use Dai Thomas, who was attached to independantly of) several other writers. Tomlinson) of 'The Knights of Pendragon' this high (glances at tape deck and says although it was much more studenty and were completely wrong. Captain Britain, and make him the link (KOP), a monthly comic published by 'about a foot high' and laughs). I had cartoony than this (Felix), and I didn't It's great though. I mean I really, really across, and the main character for the Another one of the strengths of KOP Marvel UK. He has also worked on never read things like this before. There have much spare time. enjoy writing. There's nothing better than initial stretch. is the humour... several other titles for Marvel UK, were all the old Hulk stories, Barry At the end of it everyone was kind of sitting down and thinking 'I've got a including being the editor of 'Strip' up Windsor-Smith's original Conan stuff, Don going off to this job or that job, and I had whole issue of Pendragon to write! God!' How much research did you do on the I think humour is extremely important in until its recent demise. He has recently Heck's early Avengers, all that kind of no idea of what I wanted to do. Someone Celtic and Arthurian background that comics, I hate those totally serious ones. left Marvel UK, and now works as an stuff. suggested that I actually try to get a job How did you come up with the is central to the story? It seems very We like to put in some on-liners every editor for 'Apocalypse', a new British Anyway, I just went 'Wow, this is in comics, so I wrote to Marvel, as it was original idea for KOP? comprehensive. now and then. company formed by some of the cream brilliant!', because it immediately the name that I associated the most with of the comics industry in this country. He answered the question 'How can I do the the comics I read, and they asked me to It came about via myself and Steve We certainly have read several books on Well, they're excellent. We're also is continuing to write KOP on a freelance two things I like most...', which were go for an interview, so I thought 'good' White. Steve as an editor had a slot for a the subject, put it that way. Part of my impressed that one of the characters basis. writing and drawing, '...at the same (laughs), and I went along. It turned out new comic, and we tend to collaborate English course at university was Middle lives on Gloucester Road! It adds to 'The Knights of Pendragon' is set in time?'. So I started drawing my own that they'd been advertising for some on stuff, so we were talking about things, English and Mallory. The Arthurian the realism of the story when you use Britain, and has a heavy ecological real places. theme, set against the rich tapestry of Celtic and Arthurian myths which abound Yes. We based it all on real places. I live in our country. Its main characters are in Kent, so that waswhere the Kent link people chosen as champions by the came in, Gary Erskine is a Scottish artist, ancient forces of these Isles, to fight so the Scottish link is there. Gloucester against the damage being done to Nature. Road seemed like a likely place for Kate It is one of the best monthly comics to live. The only times we do take around at the moment, and by far one of liberties by actually inventing places tend the best things ever done by Marvel. The to be like the Orkney Islands bit: There writing, plots, characterisation, art and isn't actually a place called that, because mood of the strip are all excellent. As we didn't want to say 'This place is full of you may of guessed, we like it. murderers', it was just the concept. Thus we were more than happy when Similarly the Spanish town, although, now it turned out that Dan Abnett was to be I come to say it, that was John's idea, so one of the guests at last weeks PicoCon. maybe it is real! After his excellent talk about the comics Certainly the myths that connect to the field, Dan was grabbed and forced to sit story are real ones. We either use real in front of a tape deck while we names and places, or transpose real interviewed him. Throughout both the places to different locations. We only interview and the rest of the day Mr invent a name when we think that using Abnett was pleasant, humorous, the real name would be too pointed or informative and interesting. We only wish damaging to the place concerned. we'd had more time in which to talk to him. I do like the way Captain Britain has been portrayed in KOP, especially his How long have you been working in relationship with Union Jack. the comics field? comics. I started reading 2000 AD, I editorial positions, and thought I'd applied as it was obvious that he was going to Legend is one of my favourite stories, Yes, we really wanted to contrast the two Nearly four years. started reading some US comics, but then due to that. But it became apparent that I edit it. He was talking to me not and so I'm quite glad that we've found a characters. Captain Britain is so much like I got side- tracked: I was too busy, what was just interested, and I got one of the necessarily as the writer, but just for new way to look at it. In the end we just Captain America, you know, he's so How did you get into the field, and with 'A' levels and stuff to worry about. jobs. ideas. We talked about the idea of doing picked one version and stuck to it. honorable it's annoying, and Union Jack were you an avid reader before that? So, I went to University, and took an ecologically orientated comic, with the After we fused the two ideas I was is much more the sort of DareDevil or English. The thing was that both of my What was it like starting as an editor aim of increasing peoples awareness. It there because of my knowledge of the Spiderman Character, anything for a No. I came into it because I didn't know parents were art teachers and it was at Marvel? What did you do? was sort of naff, but it seemed Arthurian Stuff, and Steve has a very quick laugh, but deep down motivated by what I wanted to do. I used to read always my strong subject: It was always appropriate. strong ecological background, and John exactly the same sense of justice. comics, when I was very young... 'It all accepted that I would go to art college. Well, as an editor in training at Marvel I We had this idea, which we thought was assistant editor on Captain Britain But we did get into a lot of trouble with started' (silly voice, laughs) ...I went to a But it turned out that I was also quite spent the first while working in the was very strong, about a guy who is and knows a lot of that background. In the things that Captain Britain does in the new school and made a new friend, who good at English, and comparatively I was colour separation department. Then I motivated by forces that he doesn't fact, it's amusing to reflect, at this strip. Alan Davis said that Captain Britain also enjoyed drawing. better at English than I was at Art. So, became an assistant editor, just doing the understand to go out and do' something juncture, that the brains behind KOP are would never have killed Dai. We have One day I went around to his house, my English teacher said to me 'I think basic paste-up, and then you start to about it, and maybe develop that in a Steve White, who's the senior Marvel since made a gentleman's agreement, and he showed me these things he was you should do English at University', and write a bit of copy, and you just learn more supernatural way. Simultaneously editor, Me, who's now (laughs) a senior whereby we agreed that by that stage drawing, and they were comics. I thought put me in for Oxbridge, where I each stage as you go along, and work the Americans suggested the possibility of Apocalypse person, and John Tomlinson, Dai Thomas IS Sir Gawain anyway, and 'Oooh, that's a good idea', and he showed eventually went to read English, which I'd your way through. They always, I think, us using Captain Britain, because he was who most weeks is the mighty Tharg (the he's fulfilling a role, and when Captain me all these comics. He had huge great never intended to do. like you to write a script, because how becoming very popular in Excalibur at editor of 2000 AD), so there's an Britain arrives he's fulfilling a role as piles of them, because he collected all the It was during that period that I started can you possibly criticise somebody else's the time. Anyway, in the process of interesting combination (laughs) well, and becomes the character of British weeklies as they came out. to read comics again. There's a great scripting, unless you can do it? Maybe not talking, the two ideas fused. Lancelot in the original story. It was one of those twists of fate that comic shop in Oxford called 'Rainbows as well as them, but as long as you We realised that Captain Britain Several Marvel titles seem to be happen in life: He had too many comics End'. That was when I read 'The Dark understand the principles. couldn't be the character it happens to, getting much darker, KOP also seems At this point Mr Abnett was grabbed by to fit into the cupboard he kept them in, Knight Returns' for the first time, and Really, it's on the job training whatever because that would be far too much on to be a part of this more mature the PicoCon organisers, and shortly and his mother had told him he was again, it's like one of those crucial you do, because comics are such a funny his shoulders, so we had this other approach... afterwards had to leave. Felix would like going to throw them away unless hefound moments, and I thought 'This is really thing, and a lot of the things you character, who would get involved with to thank him for this interview, and the a home for them. So he said to me good'. However, at the time I was doing probably think you know about comics Captain Britain, and he would be the guy Yes, it's something I've been working openness and geniality he showed 'would you like the comics ?'. So, I took a lot of the kind of thing that you're are probably completely wrong. A lot of that changed. The obvious thing was to towards for a long time, along with (but throughout.

12 13 Dinosaur Jr —Green Mind LP

'Hey, Hey, My, My Rock'n' Roll will never die', said the great Neil Young in 1979. Well it sure ain't dead yet and as long as Dinosaur Jr are here and kickin' it, Neil's prophesy will remain fulfilled. Neil Young is also a good starting point to get where Dinosaur Jr are at but leaving quicker Codeine and quicker (if you see what I mean). Their first album since 1988's Bug (which —Frigid Stars LP transcended nerly everything else that year for sheer laid-back guitar coolness and for containing the immortal Freak Scene) shows just how their sound's progressing. From the storming opener The Wagon the listener is drawn onwards as the album rolls on and on never failing to enthrall and captivate. When the guitars are flowing fast they sound like the pinnacle of an aural ecstacy buzz pulling Thumb with its flute (!!) which by rights your ears apart, rearranging and turning should be a real downer but evokes^ your sensory neurones up to 11. The happy memories from the recesses of the mock-confessional tones of the quieter mind; Water is a song which is really laid-back songs uplift you as the urgency going somewhere but, like hey! after a of the guitars is still there, but it's never kip, some TV, a smoke; who cares? threatening or down-beat, constantly Dinosaur Jr are back with a stormer and soothing and carressing. J Mascis' are showing the pretenders to their legendary slothful lethargy always throne just where to get off on the Uncharacteristic, yes, but think nothing pervades his voice, giving the impression express to melodic guitar meltdown city about it. This is perhaps the first mellow that no matter how urgent the song, he and then laugh as these poor creatures record out of Sub-Pop's noise factory. really can't be bothered with any hassle are left to wander the forest of Maybe it's because Codeine stem from that life's twists may throw at him. mediocrity looking for an escape. And New York, about as far away from the why not? Seatle scene as you can get. Water, Thumb and Poke and Cry show Don't be deceived by generalisations. this laid-back splendour at its best; Dominic The record is mellow but only as mellow as a guitar orientated rock 'n' roll band Kitchens of Distinction can get. At most a sort of Spacemen The Shamen Three trip without the repetitiveness. The —Hyperreal 12" —Drive That Fast EP music ebbs and flows building from climax to climax. Vocals waxing with the Melody Maker's single of the week, no music. less. That review also provides us with Not quite the usual hyper fuzzed, over the reason for the lack of a band photo thrashed, 60s revamp we've all come to on the cover (replaced instead by a expect from the crew, in fact it's one of beautiful picture of err...a flower): these the smoothest sounds I've heard recently guys are ugly, they smile less than without sounding too mellow. Guitars Depeche Mode. slide by on a 20mph cruise control The title track opens the EP with nothing hectic, but not too predictable swirling guitars, and it all sounds good, either. Vocals roll on and off when the but unfortunately, the lead singer can't mood is good (or bad). Lyrics adding to sing for toffee. He ruins a promising song. the air of general depression, relating Secondly, onto These Drinkers. He's stories of unrequited love and deception. given up trying to sing, and just dictates I don't think that technically they are the lyrics, resulting in a much better musical geniuses. They get by with a few With Hyperreal, The Shamen release song, but it's cut tragically short just as I minor chords strummed occasionally. another typically energetic dance track. If was getting into it. Drums merely hold the rhythm, and they were anyone else monotony may On the other side, Elephantiny features provide a stable base on which they have set in but these boys just seem to the lead singer back on terrible form, build. It's the lazy vocals and the general get better and better. They really have singing about, wait for it, elephants. The air or depression which follows that sets mastered the art of dancefloor energy. It's worst song on the EP by far. it apart, a sort of musical Lou Reed. a real roller-coaster of a track, with a Finally, onto Three to Beam Up. The Parallels with Bitch Magnet's mellower sparse (semi-existent) vocal set over a band have finally chucked the singer, and sound are easiliy drawn—especially with deep terror-synth, and a clackety rhythm the result: a glorious instrumental makes the reference to lead singer Sooyoung throwing out a dark funk ridden, arse the EP a worthy purchase on its own. Park on the thanks list. The dark sound is wriggling beat. (Am 1 being a tad Sounding vaguely remote, it fades out the same but the different vocal style sets pretentious?) It's precision led and totally slowly, and it's so good! it apart. efficient. This is so sexy I'm surprised that Hey, these guys look like Depeche it doesn't come with its own dry ice. Mode as well. searaw Seb Harry Cross. Lise Yates. 14 Boss Hog —Marquee even in time with each other. It became interesting when the lead singer dropped the guitar (literally) and began playing keyboards as well as singing. Juggling the Levitation vocals, the guitar and the keyboard proved difficult and some anarchic results & Catherine Wheel occurred. Good for a laugh. God were different; any band with two —Underworld 2.3.91 drummers, two bassists and two guitarists (let alone two saxophonists) was to be These two bands are booked to play I.C different. The ensuing noise carnage was at the end of term, so I decided to get inspiring. The only clear effects were a myself over to Camden and see what's in driving beat (a well cool one at that) and store for you lucky boys and girls. Just a non-stop wall of sound. Vocals before I review the gig, it must be said screamed over the top, repetitive to the full marks to those lovely Underworld extreme. The first song had one word— people - the beer came in glasses! Ha ha, 'God'—it lasted fifteen minutes. After two I was armed and waiting. So were or three more pure noise sessions the Catherine Wheel. Ride comparisons Marquee was lost in the haze, you could abound and so did I as the lead singer only sit back and take it. (strangely wearing the same top as the The gold lame shirt and Ching guitar previous nights O.C.S singer) launched signified the arrival of the Pussy Galore into some acutely devastating guitar inspired Boss Hog experience. After an songs. Treading through an almost classic indeterminable time the 'Goddess of pop genre they played a wonderfully fluid latterday noise rock arrived on stage, set with ease and confidence. inspiring a new wave of audience The headlining act went to Levitation. participation—positive this time. The Were they some kind of Spacemen 31 This was not a gig for the faint hearted, lurching romping and grinding roll began Had Bickers gone bonkers? Nobody nor was it for music lovers. God saw to as Boss Hog cruised through the back seemed to know. As the band came on, a that. Even Gallon Drunk had a strange catalogue of sleazed rockabilly-inspired cautious audience moved toward the quirk. They emerged quaint rockabilly thrash. stage. Nobody pushed, rushed or shouted. types but soon proved that first Like a bass hungry Pussy Galore, Boss Very odd. House of Love they were not. impressions can be very deceptive. The Hog, spewed out their strange brew. So what were they ? In essence they rythm section were quite normal, Good drinking it was. lacked focus - were they pop or sub-pop? including the maracas. They played notes, I don't think they knew themselves. Seb. Bickers seemed to have a great time with his guitar and pedals, and he was oblivious to the stilted response from the Ocean crowd. This was a gig where it was obviously more fun on the stage than off. Colour Scene Harry Cross —The Venue 1.3.91 Not being very well up on the Jesus Jones & Soho 'Manchester' scene, I assumed that Ocean Colour Scene were catching a free ride -T&C on its sodden coat tails. Seeing the Just fifteen months ago, London-based mania continues through the one hour occasional fan in the annoyingly designed 'techno-terrorists' Jesus Jones released and ten minute set, opening with the T-shirts didn't help much either. So when their first album, Liquidiser, on the back marginally 'baggy' style including Right they modestly took to the stage and of the swift rise of the 'Indie' music scene. Here, Right Now, International Bright plugged in I was taken aback. First off, Only fifteen months later, the Jones' Young Thing and Real, Real. they aren't an archetypal northern band. played two dates at Kentish Town's T&C, 'People say we're just a pop band' say Secondly, the lead singer IS the new Mick accompanied by such publicity (hype?) the band after IBYT, and launch into Jagger. He doesn't sound like him that touts were looking for £35 per ticket their more familiar stuttering wall of particularly, but yes, he has the sneer, (£7 face value) on the night of the gig. sound with Trust Me, Stipped and Two the arrogant look and the silly epileptic Starting the show for Jesus Jones were and Two. Mike Edwards' guitar sound, dance. They don't stop there either. It Soho, a former club act currently drenched with echo and ADT, drove the doesn't take long to see they are under enjoying the success of Hippychick (spot crowd into a frenzy, breaking only with the Beatle's influence - in fact its more the Smith's How Soon is Now guitar the quiet deadpan rap vocal and low-key along the lines of inebriation. Still, sample) and promoting their second moody backdrop of the likes of Nothing following in these well worn footsteps has album, Goddess, before a tour including a to Hold Me. paid off well. They've brought the date at the Astoria (24.5). They were As an encore, Jesus proclaimed 'We're combination bang up to date and produce enjoyable enough for a support band, but going out of here the same way you will some excitingly fresh and sparklingly , gave too stilted a performance to be be!' and hit an exhausted crowd with the shiny songs. Just watching from the satisfying, only relaxing into their simple, anthemic Pissed. Pissed, exhausted and balcony, I could see this band have the catchy tunes towards the end of their set. exhilarated, we made our way home after undefinable magic quality that could see They didn't go down too well with the JJ one of a very enjoyable gig. Just over them heading in a upward direction. fans, though. one hour may seem short for a set, but Definitely ones to watch. This gig was Lights go out, and down come the with Jesus Jones, it's density that counts filmed and Ocean Colour Scene can be backcloths for JJ's set, depicting the and not length. seen on Snub TV on Monday. clowns heads which are the theme of the Graeme H. Harry Cross. Doubt tour: the crowd go manic. That 15 Clubs Football Rag

IC II—6 SOP-2 Ladies Football Comic Relief is but a week away. What IC resumed their season after the recent are you planning to do? IC Rag is holding weather interuptions with an easy victory Dribblers—11 UCL-0 a Backgammon Marathon in the JCR and over poor opposition. Hattrick hero A also a Circle Line pub crawl, the rest of Jalan, C Gilmour the canny Scot and the Sunday saw the Dribbler's first game for term has collections planned for Guildford inevitable S Barry gave IC a five goal three weeks and their first game under (13 March), Covent Garden Panda half-time lead. An early 2nd half goal by new coach Neil Leonard. It was a nervous Collection (16 March) and finally the 'MABDO' made it six. By then the morning for the Captain. A 9 o'clock Windstart Maidenhead (20 March). So result wasn't in doubt. The main question meet had been scheduled but a drunken come along for a fun day out and help was whether N Leonard the IC Captain Debbie Williams had been misinforming improve on the £2,600 already raised. would win an early bath award from the naive dribblers as to where and when we Ref. would meet. After an hour, with a team finally assembled, the Dribbler's set off to the Chisslehurst Grounds. The Dribblers Amnesty IC V-7 IC IV-1 were keen to put Neil's new tactics into practice but no one could have dreamed On a typically windy day at Harlington how successful they would be. The team From Tuesday to Thursday of next week, the fifth team dealt out a lesson in the passed to each other, Ethel ran around, there will be a display in the JCR finer arts of football that the fourths will Permi didn't fall over and Nina, yes Nina, prepared by the Imperial College Group. never forget. Deciding to battle against scored a goal! Hope, finding herself Four main topics will be covered, the elements in the first half the fifths marked by everyone bar the goalie, highlighting the work of Amnesty played at a lightening pace with played a brilliant game throughout, International and particularly the college Hendrickson opening the scoring five scoring a hattrick in the process. The group. minutes from the off. Reece added the remaining golas came from Permi (5), Jo On Tuesday and Thursday lunchtimes, second shortly after and the fourths fell (1) and a UCL defender who, having there will be the chance to talk to group to pieces. Stevens added a third and realised that scoring past Emma Simpson members, who will try and answer any Fenton with a fine individual effort made was out of the question, slotted one past questions about the group, Amnesty's it 4-0 at half time. her own goalie. Even the defender tried position on such issues as the Gulf crisis to get in on the act with Ethel and After conceding a goal after the interval or its concerns in other areas of the Rachel going on several good runs (yes Hendrickson and Awale proved there's world. Ethel does run occasionally) up the pitch more than one way to skin a fullback as As well as the usual letter writing stall into previously unknown territory for the the lumbering Damon Thomas and where you are invited to sign pre-written Dribbler's defence. colleagues were left for dead time and letters, there will be a range of Amnesty again. Collison also scored as the fourth All in all, a great game for the goods on sale including t-shirts, badges, team were left as spectators at their own Dribblers and, alas, the final game for keyrings etc. The sale of mechandise is funeral of football inadequacy. In a Nina Gascoigne. Nina, well known star an important source of revenue for season of ups and downs for the fifths, Dribbler is crap and has been dropped, I Amnesty International so we hope you this magnificent seven must be the mean she will be away for the remaining will come along and support this human sweetest victory of all. games. rights charity.

Cross Country

With cold, calculated precision the leading a group of Alex, Lazza, Bill and 41 and 49 to reaffirm our depth of warriors of doom completed their Frank. As the distance took its harsh toll, insanity, with Ho Yin also making extended demolition of the London it was Frank who stonked through all the noticable improvement. In the two-lap colleges league in predictably flamboyant way up to third, marking his farewell womens race it seemed a formality for fashion last Wednesday. And yet, could a appearance with his highest ever placing. Edwige to finish a clear second, while hint of emotion be detected as 10 of our The Cult of Alex had detached itself from Helen produced her own brand of heroics 12 representatives marked their final his youthful pursuers to make 8th even by failing over at halfway, spraining her league race for the college? Nay, twas a yet again, while in their effort to defeat ankle, and then equalling her season's mere whim of fancy, for the Torch of the bane of the league, Bill and Lazza best of ninth. The season's end sees Paul Harrier Spirit has passed to the safe produced a spectacular and vernacular the individual champion by just one hands of Paul, defying medical science in finale to claim 13th and 14th. But the point, Edwige second, Frank 3rd and Bill the name of team honour to hobble best was yet to come. Master grunter 5th, with the first team running away round in 6th place despite crippling Edwards had opted to start in last place, with the honours to mark the passing of injuries. The 3-lap road race of 10km saw choosing to grimace it up the home an era. a prominent phalanx of IC vests straight to lead the B-team charge. Carl, throughout, with the ailing Paul initially Dan, Ian and Dave packed it in between

16 and Societies Splot Soc

Saturday February 23 saw the inaugural proceeded to shred the remaining (boy, were they pissed off), and the Universities tournament at ProSport, near opposition in grand style. A hugely Universities of London carried off the top Effingham Junction. The Imperial team, honourable mention goes to Reading who two places. known loosely as Emulsion Propulsion, put up a good fight with only ten men, Xenomorphs, Eggshell-Finished Death and not-so-honourable rrrention to South (and a multitude of other, more insulting "Bank Poly, who lasted a magnificent four names) entered their first own-guns and a half minutes. Film Soc tourney. Penalties flew thick and fast, with Hot favourites to win were Kingston points deducted for anything from hot The final presentation of the term by Poly (the Black Legion, apparently) and guns to interesting language. The result of FilmSoc is another classic. The film is by the Anchovies (from Essex Uni). Other the round-robin phase saw Emulsion the supreme master of suspense—Alfred participants included Reading, South Bank Propulsion in first place, playing off Hitchcock. It starts the irrepressible James Poly and UCL (more about them later). against Reading in the first semi-final. The Stewart and the stunningly beautiful The format was a round-robin, with the other semi-final saw the much-vaunted Grace Kelly. Stewart has been consigned top four teams playing off in semi- and (and now deep purple) Black Legion to his room due to a broken leg, and to final games to deterine the placings, with against UCL. alleviate the boredom he resorts to the bottom two teams playing to avoid Kingston suffered a shcok loss to UCL, observing the day to day life of the being laughed at. while Imperial pulled off another residents in the block of flats opposite his First up against us were the Black comprehensive victory against Reading. bedroom window. One night he becomes Legion, having first complained about the We therefore faced UCL for the trophy (a the sole witness to a murder (or does paint (purple, toxic and it hurts—just the case of Tennants). Managing to snatch a he?). No one else of course believes him, way we planned it...) we were throwing. defeat from the jaws of victory, Imperial except his girlfriend, and so the two Both sides were unduly cautious, the suffered their first loss of the day in a attempt to resolve the mystery by result ending in a draw. Having sorted blaze of glory, smoke (ours) and suicidal themselves. The performances are out our tactics (a cocktail of blitzkrieg, tactics. All credit to a canny UCL team immaculate and the direction faultless. New York Giant-style offensive play, blind who sat back and watched us shred The show starts at 7.30pm in Mech Eng luck and lots of shouting thrown in), we ourselves—at least, Kingston didn't win 220, Thursday March 14.

OSC

International Night compiled a list of twenty or so 12.30pm in room 342 Mech Eng. In this After a very successful event and before newspapers that societies were interested meeting, we will have elections for the returning to my piling-up coursework, I to subscribe to. However, only a few following positions: Chairman, Vice feel I should write a few impressions newspapers are displayed in the Haldane Chairman, Junior Treasurer, Honorary about the International Night '91. The Library. This is very embarrassing Secretary, Events Officer, Publicity massive effort of countless students and because we insisted that papers should be Officer, Sports Officer, Welfare Officer, most national societies was well justified displayed, and the library staff kindly Liaison Officer and seven Ordinary in probably the colourful event of the accepted them despite the trouble that Members. Anyone who wishes to stand year. they had had in the past. What for these positions can sign up at the OSC From the organisational point of view it happened? Didn't the societies bother noticeboard (no 15) in the main walkway. all went quite well. The main problem subscribing? I suggest that overseas The job descriptions will be displayed at was the huge crowd queueing outside the students start hassling their societies this board. entrance and trying to get into the about that. For those who don't already know, the already full JCR and Great Hall without OSC is a major subcommittee of the having tickets. Fortunately we finally Sabbatical Elections Students' Union with the following managed to cope with it. To our I believe that overseas students can get activities: it represents overseas students disappointed visitors I can only suggest much more out of the Union and its in Union committees, the Union Council, that they buy their tickets earlier next sabbaticals in the following years by some College committees and other time (maybe next year's OSC will voting in the elections. There are at least bodies. It provides a forum for discussion consider using the Albert Hall!). 1,200 overseas students with a right to of problems and other issues concerning Otherwise, we had few unexpected vote in this college; this number can overseas students. It coordinates the problems and even fewer complaints, significantly influence the outcome of function of national societies. It acts as a many of which were unjustified. The vast these elections. In this way, the overseas buffer between these societies and the majority of people had a wonderful time. students can get commitments from the Students' Union. It organises events. competing candidates to promote their Generally the OSC keeps a low-profile Newspapers in Haldane Library collective interest. among students. If anyone wants more After popular demand, in the beginning information, please contact me, Andreas of this year we negotiated with the AGM Massouras, through my union pigeonhole. Haldane Library and we arranged the The Annual General Meeting of the display of foreign newspapers for the Overseas Students Committee is going to benefit of the overseas students. We take place on Thursday March 14 at

17 Scribblers' Corner

LETTERS What's On But By Jingo... AN UP-TO-THE-MINUTE GUIDE TO EVENTS Dear Andy, showed that jumped up Argie dictator There has been a lot of controversy Galtieri that we would stand firm on the FRIDAY over whether our brave and valiant Falklands. It just wouldn't have seemed Hang Gliding 12.30pm heroes from the Gulf should receive a right to sit back and let the Yanks fight Southside Upper Lounge. Come and find out victory parade when they return. I think alone. This historic alliance of the Union about weekend training. Weekly meeting. they should. Those who complain are the Jack and the Stars and Stripes has been Conservative Soc 12.30pm same bunch of pacifist lefties and general forged in the blood of our heroes. Physics 737. no-hopers who can't wait to knock our We must never forget those who lost Yacht Club Meeting 12.30pm country at every opportunity. their lives fighting for this country in any Huxley 413. There were times, during the war, that battle or war. The victory parade will Rag Meeting 12.40pm those of us at home could only watch and provide an end to this latest chapter Union Lounge. pray that our casualties would be light, which is important for the troops. It will FBI Soc 12.45pm and thank goodness they were! We were show how proud of the Boys we really Room 340 Huxley. MBA—what is it worth and struck from the start by the bravery of are and how proud we are in our great how do I get one? our pilots returning from their raids over country. Ignore all these lefties who say Huxley Soc Bookstall l.OOpm Baghdad. So calm, so professional, so belief in the Union flag is wrong. It is not! JCR. British. Our hearts went out to those I will probably be called jingoistic for Friday Prayers l.OOpm families whose sons, daughters or loved writing this letter. Jingoism comes from Southside Gym. See Islamic Society. ones will never return. the following 19th century poem: Kung Fu 4.30pm And what now? Before the war we We don't want to fight, Union Gym. were urged to plunge even deeper into But by Jingo if we do, C.U. Prayer Meeting 5.00pm Europe and turn our backs on our We've got the ships, 413 Maths. American friends. When the chips were We've got the men, Yoga 5.30pm down our European 'friends' collapsed. We've got the money too. Southside We British did not bottle out because our And what the hell is wrong in that? Christian Union Meeting .....6.00pm actions are not guided by national The very best of British, 308 Computing. interest as by our national character. In Alan Bailey (newly elected SCC Political Swimming 6.30pm the 2nd World War we took on Hitler to Rep). Sports Centre. New members always welcome. defend the rights of weaker countries as P.S. When's the debate? Fencing Club Training 6.40pm we have done in the Gulf. We also Club training. Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan 7.30pm Southside Gym. Sad But True Water Polo 7.30pm Dear Andy, contributing and being picked on kept Sports Centre. Come along and join in. You are probably reading this letter everyone interested. Southside Disco J8.30pm during a lecture—why not I wrote it The problem with lecturers here in Elec Southside Bar. during one? Lectures round here seem to Eng is that the student is just a passive fall into two categories; those you can observer, the lecturer has no way of sleep in and those in which you practise knowing how much has been understood. SATURDAY your handwriting. We are constantly It is easier to sit back and daydream than Kung Fu Club 4.30pm faced with being slowly lulled to sleep by it is to concentrate and people will Wu Shu Kwan in Southside Gym. the never ending voice of some professor, normally opt for the easiest thing to do. talking about notes he has already James Rouse, Elec Eng 2. distributed in printed form; followed by a SUNDAY session of furiously copying the Sunday Service 10.00am blackboard to save Imperial's Mend-a-Bike Anteroom Sherfield Building. See West London photocopiers—never understanding, just PETER THOMAS Chaplaincy. copying. I could have collected notes and Catholic Chaplaincy Mass 11.00am copied the board when I was six; only 53 Cromwell Road. better then as I wasn't short-sighted. Wargames / .OOpm I only had one really good teacher at UDH. All welcome. school,- but he knew his job so well that Yoga 10.30am he made all our other teachers look Southside Gym. extremely poor. In his lessons at least Kung Fu Club 4.30pm 80% of what was said came from pupils; Wu Shu Kwan in the Union Gym. this way he could get a large amount of Catholic Mass 6.00pm feedback on how much the class 53 Cromwell Road, followed by supper. understood and what speed to go. Everything would be covered twice in a lesson. First time he would just let MONDAY anybody in the class suggest how to RockSoc Meeting 12.30pm proceed, the other time he would pick on Southside Upper Lounge. All abnormalities individuals, moving around every so welcome. often. His choice of material was 4-6 Effie Road Basketball Club 5.30pm excellent, just too difficult for any one Fulham, London SW6 ITD Volleyball Court. Men's Team. person to do, but the whole class could 071-371 5867 Keep Fit 5.30pm manage, and the combination of

18 LETTERS All's Fair...? What's On Dear Andy, retreating because they were a 'threat' President Bush has said that the war could hardly have felt that they are being AN UP-TO-THE-MINUTE GUIDE TO EVENTS against Iraq was fought for the 'liberation 'liberated', and now that the US, a of Kuwait', but what exactly does the country which has imposed many Southside Gym. 'liberation of Kuwait' actually mean? It dictatorships across the world, is poised Intermediate Rock n' Roll 6.00pm seems to me that Kuwait, was in part to impose yet another dictatorship on JCR. 'liberated' for the benefit of the people Iraq, it seems very unlikely that the war Swimming 6.30pm living in Kuwait, so that, in some sense, it was fought for the 'liberation' of the Iraqi Sports Centre. New members always welcome. was not Kuwait but a group of people people. Beginners Rock n' Roll 7.00pm that were 'liberated'. But which people? The Kuwaiti nationals have not gained JCR. Was it the Kuwaiti nationals who were as much 'liberation' as they would have WellSoc Meeting 7.30pm 'liberated'? The Emir is imposing three liked, nor have the non-Kuwaitis in Physics LT1. Talk by the Aetherius Society. months of martial law on Kuwait Kuwait, and certainly not the people of Water Polo 7.30pm (presumably because, as according to the Iraq. Who then, was 'liberated' in this Sports Centre. Come along and try one of the Interior Minister, 'the cleansing of Kuwait war? Well for a start there is the ruling most physically demanding sports. from the effects of war and from the fifth family of Kuwait, Israel hasn't done too Latin American .8.00pm columns'...will require some time' (my badly, and the US has certainly made JCR. italics) and Kuwaiti opposition groups are gains in this war. The war was fought so forced to have a conference outside their that the Sabah family could have the country, because such a conference is freedom to exploit the people in Kuwait TUESDAY C.U. Prayer Meeting .8.30pm forbidden under martial law. Already and to make mind-numbingly large Chaplain's Office members of the Kuwaiti opposition in amounts of money, so that Israel no Riding Club Meeting 12.30pm Kuwait have been assassinated and, longer had to deal with the 'threat' of Southside Upper Lounge. according to senior members of the Iraq, and now that it is once again the AudioSoc 12.30pm opposition, the Planning Minister had said strongest state in the Middle East, could S.C.R. for cheap records, CDs and hi fi that Syria's disbanded Special Forces take extra 'liberty' in suppressing the discounts. were being recruited by a young Sabah Palestinian 'threat', and last and by no Radio Modellers 12.30pm to 'eliminate opposition'. Indeed, Kuwaitis means least, so that the ruling powers of Southside Lounge. seem to have more liberty here in Britain the US could have the freedom to exploit Cathsoc Mass 12.30pm than they do in their own country. the Middle East. Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch. Was it the people who worked in I fully condemn the invasion of Kuwait Sailing Club 12.30pm Kuwait who were 'liberated'? The by Saddam, and whatever legitimate Southside Lounge. Washington based Centre of Policy rights Iraq has to Kuwait, invasion and PhotoSoc l.OOpm Analysis on Palestine has already called slaughter of innocent people by a dictator Southside Lounge. New members to join. for measures to prevent retaliation is wrong. But I would lie to make an Radio Modellers J5.30pm against Palestinians living in Kuwait, even stronger condemnation of the US for Student training workshop, Mech Eng. people who have contributed more to the encouraging Kuwait to 'stand firm' and Keep Fit 5.30pm growth of Kuwait than the Kuwaitis not to negotiate with Iraq on the Southside Gym. themselves. One of the reasons for the economic problems and border disputes Amenesty International 5.30pm Centre's concern is that the Crown Prince which led to the invasion, while at the Clubs Committee Room. Weekly meeting. Sheikh Sa'ad as-Sabah himself had said same time giving a 'green light' to Wine Tasting Soc 6.00pm that they will begin checking up on the Saddam to invade Kuwait, thereby giving Union Lounge. Weekly meeting. Everyone Palestinians and non-Palestinians who a pretext for the US to destory Iraq. welcome might have been in the 'fifth column' Yasir Hassan, Physics 1. Improvers Ballroom 6.00pm (certainly any 'retaliations' on the JCR. Palestinians carried out by the state Canoe Club 6.15pm would be much easier under martial law). So it does not seem likely that the war Industrial Society Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in Southside Upper was fought for the large group of non- Lounge. Kuwaitis living in Kuwait. Judo 6.30pm Union Gym. Was the war, in some twisted way, Ballroom Bronze Medal 7.00pm fought for the 'liberation' of (he Iraqi Arthur Andersen JCR. people? Liberty in Iraq was not taken & Co Business Game Yoga 8.00pm very seriously by the US when for over Southside Gym. twenty years it allowed, supported and Cricket Nils 3.00pm probably helped set up the brutal Ba'ath at Head Offices Lords. Meet at 7.45pm in Mech Eng Foyer. regime, a regime which imprisoned, Wednesday 13 March Must bring whites. tortured and killed thousands of innocent Arabs and Kurds in Iraq. And the 2.00pm thousands of people who are not trapped in rubble, who are suffering from disease, WEDNESDAY and who are being operated on without £3 deposit cheque payable to Keep Fit 12.30pm anaesthetic because their country has ICU/SCC (returnable) send to Southside Gym. Bike Club 12.45pm been 'bombed back into the stone-age', Tim Taubman, Civ Eng II for can hardly feel 'liberated'. The Iraqi Southside Lounge. conscripts, who probably never wanted details FBI Soc 12.45pm the war and were bombed even while Room 340 Huxley. Banking: free £6 buffet lunch. What's On Please Eat Generously Dear Andy, AN UP-TO-THE-MINUTE GUIDE TO EVENTS Last Friday's C&G Dinner and Dance Cycling Training l.OOpm cost £85 per double ticket. Approximately 150 couples attended. Why not hold the HAIRDRESSERS Meet at Beit Arch. event elsewhere and let the ticket price 15A HARRINGTON ROAD, Wargames l.OOpm SOUTH KENSINGTON include a contribution to charity? I am UDH. All welcome. 071-823 8968 sure that the 53,000 or £4,000 raised Micro Club Meeting 1.15pm We have a fantastic offer for all you could go to a very worthy cause, such as Top floor NW corner Union Building. Every students, a cut wash and blowdry feeding those who were starving under week. railway bridges, while the young turks of by our top stylist Kung Fu 1.30pm City and Guilds College were stuffing (which normally costs around £21) Union Gym. their faces? For only £11 Men £12 Women DramSoc 2.30pm Check us out ! Union Concert Hall. It could be argued that this event was WellSoc Trip 4.00pm the students' big splash of the year. Trip to Broadcasting House leaving from Somehow though, I think these would-be Southside Upper Lounge. captains of industry are aspiring to hold their company functions at the Hilton or Diving 6.30pm Ritz in twenty years time. Once again, Swimming Pool. the cost of a three-course dinner will be Shaolin System Nam Pai Chuan 7.00pm higher than the average waitresses Southside Gym. weekly take-home pay. Basketball Club 7.30pm Volleyball Court. Women's Team John Major's classless society may be Kung Fu Club 7.30pm changing but at Imperial, the Imperialist Union Gym. Wu Shu Kwan. ethos lives on. Name Withheld by Request. THURSDAY Fencing Training 11.30am Imperial College Industrial Society Intermediate & advanced coaching. presents Balloon Club Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge. YHA Meeting 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge. Postgrad Lunch 12.30pm ROBERT MAXWELL Chaplains Office (10 Princes Gardens). See West London Chaplaincy. His Fencing Training 12.30pm entrepreneurial Beginners Training. fingers are in every Centra] America Week 12.45pm pie! Mech Eng 542. A talk by Tom Letchford, a human rights worker in Guatamala. Fencing Training 1.30pm Thursday 14th March General. Gliding Club Meeting l.OOpm EVERYONE WELCOME Aero 266. Come and arrange a trial flight. All 12.45pm newcomers welcome. Keep Fit 5.30pm Chemical Engineering Southside Gym LT1 Midweek Service 5.30pm Chaplains Office (10 Prince's Gardens). New Beginners Ballroom 6.00pm JCR. WHAT IS an MBA worth? How do you LOST & FOUND Judo 6.30pm get one? Find out on Friday 8th March at FOUND: Wednesday 20th Feb in the Union Gym. 12.30pm, Maths 340. Union. Paisley Scarf. Contact Emma on Improvers Ballroom 7.00pm ACCOMMODATION ext 3621. JCR. SINGLE ROOM in mixed flat close to LOST: Blue folder full of diving slides. Intermediate Ballroom .8.00pm Ealing Common tube, available from 18 Sometime last term, Southside. If you JCR. March. N/S. £193-50 pern plus bills. Ring have them please return them to the Southside Disco 8.30pm 081-992 9539 (eve) or Mary (ext 8845), owner. Pete Bowen, Biochem 3. Southside Bar. Ammad (ext 6751/6776) FOR SALE & WANTED ICCAG Soup Run 3.15pm LARGE SINGLE room to rent in shared FOR SALE: Ricoh XRX. 35-70mm zoom Meet Weeks Hall Basement. house in Fulham. £51 pw plus bills. lens. Excellent condition, hardly used. Phone 071-385 9252. Close to tube and £150 (due to typesetting error!) Contact ANNOUNCEMENTS Kaveh via the FELIX Office (ext 3515). HAPPY Birthday Christy, love from your shops. twin brother. SINGLE and double rooms available in WANTED: Blue and Black ZZR 1100 NICE little earner: Earn £30 on March 13. six person Hamlet Gardens flats, rents complete with sexy male biker in black See the Union Office for details £53 and £49 pp p/w respectively (exc leathers. Contact Lucy. bills). Contact Warden 081-746 3205. 20 IN TH£? ^ST V/VSC4EZ-Y AKR/yHV? AT* STIMUi-AT/Niy fART, WAi-T COLEMAN SfiM££> WITHOUT «L»NN/NG-

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FELIX Bastardword Across 1. Car and fast or risque' action is joined by a sea, we hear, having absolute control. 6. Can Walter mingle initially, is steep sided in Wales! 7. Years and years, are juggled. 8. Odorous bee, oscillates in water perhaps. 10. 12. At great height a welcome is heard. 13. Sounds, like the male offspring of Imperial College. 14. 50 gives help to support spinal area and becomes relaxed. 18. A musician goes it alone. 19. Gains initially and mixes up pour, for a collective unit. 21. Enclosed within within. 22. Policeman? It brings you to a halt. 23. Formed metal is able, when made of tin. 25. Kick inside deserves relative attention. 27. Non-singular company has green leaves. 28. Town Crier maybe, but not even partially a member of MI5.

Down 1. Johnny's show of creature tricks (6,5). 2. Confused rat lowers guard, to experience hard labour (7). 3. She is surrounded by wolven Shan's Union Page Overrun youngsters who live next door to the Elections Seraphs (7). By now, elections are upon us. I wish all 4. Very common co-writer of scientific references (2). candidates good luck—may the best IC ENTS PRESENT man/woman win. 5. A desire for an Oriental currency (3). Soul Family 6. Yitzhak was the foreign minister of Welfare Israel, but change one letter to fit (5). Last week's welfare campaign was a Sensation 9. How you are wearing it when your storming success. My thanks to everyone size and washability hangs under your who helped—especially Riverside who Friday 8th March chin. provided the materials and expertise for 11. Now describing somebody habitually the health fair. displaying humour by short spasms of the Free before 9.45pm diaphragm and glottis. 12. They do this Accommodati on £2.50 after ' down in the deep south, occasionally The sale of Montpelier has been put on whilst weeding. ice for a further month pending legal ik-Disco till 2am 15. Clinically a bit hot under the collar. technicalities. It is becoming increasingly +Bar till lam 16. What you don't get by being a clear that the purchase of Clayponds scientist! could prove to be one of the costliest 17. Some women can have this on their errors the College has ever made. Whilst heads, or you can eat it. the bedstock has increased by 400 places, 20. Colloquial of Greek Nicholas, juggled so has the residence deficit. 1 sincerely to produce a porcine ejaculation. hope that when rent levels are set in 24. Auf deutsch wohe mann auf dem April, students are not asked to bail out lokale geht. College for mistakes made by ex- 26. Geographically in Cornwall, with employees and senior officials covering Ent's Bit reference to the aurora. their own backs.

Transport Tonight, IC Ents bring you one of the lam. Note: only people who use the Van insurance is now being handled by 'best new bands around'—NME. Tipped as event will be allowed to use the bar Endsleigh. All drivers are required to fill the next Soul II Soul/Bassomatic and extension. Other events we have this in a van drivers' questionnaire. Please see something very similar they make a term include: Michelle in the Union Office if you refreshing commerical sound that will be haven't already received one via your very big if it isn't already. It is free before Mar 15—Blow Up/Dodgy club/society. 9.45pm and then £2.50 after that. There Mar 22nd—Levitation/Catherine will be a disco until 2am and a bar until Wheel/Paris Smith Editorial It's been a bit of an interesting week. The grant (ho, ho, ho). At this point in the and save all the hassle and pointless court ICU Hustings at St Mary's was, by all year he's not doing so badly. He hasn't cases? Or am I missing something? The accounts, something of an event. As 1 used his bank accounts at all, and has other thing is that the overdraft wasn't write the 'in house' hustings are taking sent a letter to both banks, explaining even unauthorised! The bank let the place in the JCR. My life has been fraught that he has thrown his cheque-book student have the money! From all with disasters, culminating in a rather away, and will be paying back as much accounts, they didn't even kick up much sever (as anyone there could tell you) as he can over the summer. Seem fair of a fuss! drinking session last night, in which I enough? made full use of the midnight bar Then, in their infinite wisdom (?), More money matters extension. Thankfully I'm feeling much Barclays decide to ask the student for Here's some more fun. College better today, mainly due to some serious their money. Only they do it by sending Accommodation! Why can't Imperial get thinking at about 4.00 am this morning. him a court summons. So the student the hang of it? The college is being run in There have also been some rather rings the bank, to explain the situation. a more and more business-like manner. wonderful things going on that have Then, guess what? The bank says 'It's out New directors are being appointed almost come to my attention... of our hands, you'll have to speak to the weekly, and being paid large (ie a lot solicitors'. So the student rings the more than two grand) amounts of money Bankers. Big, stupid, ugly bankers solicitors, and explains the situation (ie he to do whatever they do (?). Here's a bit of fun. See if you can work has no money). Guess What? The But is accommodation being run well? out the bank's reasoning in the following solicitors say 'There's nothing we can do. The rent in Southside is £47 a week at situation: A student at Imperial has two We have to try to get the money for our the moment. Next year it will be going overdrafts. One is with Natwest (the client'. 'But' says the student 'I have no up to £50. Yet in my first year (two years branch in college), and one with Barclays money'. Guess what? The solicitors say ago), it was only £45. And I seem to (his home branch). Both of the overdrafts there's nothing they can do. If the student remember being assured that it would be are large (the Barclays one just under can't raise just under £2000 in 30 days, frozen for three years. Hmmm. There are £2000, the Natwest roughly twice that). it's going to court. other colleges in London which own The student gets a full grant, his parent Now perhaps I'm missing something, residences on Cromwell Road, and charge cannot afford to give him any more but the way I see it, £2000 is not a huge only £20-30 a week. money, and has no savings or income of amount of money in terms of what you The accommodation office apparently any other kind, other than that which he can actually buy with it. I have friends has large debts to pay off. But why do earns by working during term time or back at home who are 18, and have they have big debts anyway? I admit that holidays (although holidays are something about £30000 worth of debt in the form things can go wrong in business, but of a problem, as he lives in the country, of credit and mortgages. The average there comes a point when you have to and doesn't drive). starting wage of an IC graduate is around wonder how much is bad luck, and how With debts of this size he realises that £15000. Also, if the student doesn't have much is bad management? he really should be a good boy and not the money, what's the point in sueing? Now, to top it off, they're charging make them any larger. Thus, being an Why not wait until the student graduates, students full rent to leave their stuff in optimistic type, he decides to live on his and get back the two grand, plus interest, their rooms over the Easter holidays! The reason for this appears to be to get the students out of hall, as the conference letting has apparently been over The Easter Felix subscribed by about 20%. But the best thing is that they're doing it to students is coming to town on Wednesday 20th who live in halls that aren't even being used for the letting scheme. AND the March and it's going to be a biggie. decision was apparently made without consulting ANY of the people that should Because of this there is no Felix next Fri- have been. Ho, ho, ho, what a great bit of fun! What a pile of smelly stuff that day; giving us time for production of the you wouldn't want to be in, more like. Credits end of term whopper. To all those who Printing and Typesetting: Andy and Rose wish to make a contribution see us News Editor: Anna Arts Editor: Adam T ASAP...like by Monday lunchtime OooKay. Books Editor: Michael Music Editor: John After distribution on Wednesday morning Photo Editor: Richard Features Editor: Roland there is going to be a big German style The Gang: Stef, James, Ian, Jonti, Nigel, and all the reviewers. breakfast, so anybody whose going to join The Collators: All the stalwarts, and us had better tell me about it soon. It's go- anybody else that turns up.

ing to be one hell of a Freebie! Felix is produced for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel 071-225 8672). Editor: Andrew Butcher. Manager: Chris Stapleton, Business Manager: Jeremy Burnell. Copyright PS VOTE! Felix 1991. ISSN 1040*711. 23 Exercise your rights over the choice of next year's sabbaticals. Get out and vote!

UNION Democracy Time Elections How to Vote By now, elections are upon us. I wish all At Imperial we operate a system called The following are valid papers candidates good luck—may the best Single Transferable Vote. man/woman win. Candidates are listed in alphabetical Candidate A order on the ballot slips. One slip per Candidate B 1 Welfare post. Candidate C X Last week's welfare campaign was a You place a '1' against the candidate of storming success. My thanks to everyone your first preference; a '2' for the second New Election 3 who helped—especially Riverside who and continue up to the number of provided the materials and expertise for candidates including New Election. You Candidate A the health fair. must start the sequence with a '1', no Candidate B number can appear more than once, it New Election Accommodati on must be consecutive and no other mark I The sale of Montpelier has been put on can appear on the paper (marks include ticks and crosses). You can transfer your ice for a further month pending legal Candidate A t technicalities. It is becoming increasingly vote to as many or as few candidates as New Election I clear that the purchase of Clayponds you wish. could prove to be one of the costliest Voting takes place in each department errors the College has ever made. Whilst plus common areas and are identified by The following are invalid papers: the bedstock has increased by 400 places, a ballot box and a person manning it. so has the residence deficit. I sincerely When you go to vote you will need to Candidate A hope that when rent levels are set in produce your Union card which will be Candidate B y April, students are not asked to bail out punched. You will be given your voting College for mistakes made by ex- slips plus a slip we are using to determine Candidate C employees and senior officials covering who is voting. If you do put other marks New Election their own backs. on the paper, it will not be included in the count, so please ask for a Candidate A Transport replacement form from the person Candidate B Van insurance is now being handled by manning the box. Endsleigh. All drivers are required to fill Please vote as your vote counts and it New Election in a van drivers' questionnaire. Please see is your Union. Michelle in the Union Office if you REMEMBER YOUR UNION CARD! Candidate A + ^/kKlK£g. haven't already received one via your i club/society. New Election Benjamin Turner's DP Shit Bit 1. Finance 2. Security & Events requires an Events Manager, to Union Finance Committee has deliberated Last Friday's International Night proved coordinate events and introduce ongoing over next year's budget. I might bring to be so popular that difficulties in advice and professionalism to add to the this budget to the forthcoming UGM, so organisation and security were enthusiasm of the student groups that that we can all see what our money will experienced. This all adds further weight organise the events. be spent on. to my previous arguments that ICU 3. Promotions Something else that an Events Manager could get their teeth into; the Union now has loads of potential for a greatly IMPERIAL COLLEGE increased Ents programme, we just need the ideas for promotions and forms of advertising—got any suggestions, come into the Union Office and talk to Mandy EXPLORATION BOARD Hurford (Union Manager) or myself.

1990 PRESENTATION 4. Academic Affairs The Academic Affairs Half-Day was a 13th March, 2pm reasonable success, with about thirty student academic representatives turning Read Lecture Theatre up to discuss topical issues, and to listen to some of the Rector's views on these.

A review of all of last year's 5. Developments What do you think we could do to the expeditions. Anyone interested is JCR to turn it into a place that the average student identifies as being part of welcome to attend—particularly those the Union, a room that any student group who are thinking of organising an can book out for functions, discos, etc?

expedition next year. 6. Interviewing for Union Staff Been involved in lots of these, with more to come.