Book by Martin A. Follose Music and lyrics by Bill Francoeur
© Copyright 2004, under the title of “The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree” by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.
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CAPTAIN BREE AND HER LADY PIRATES A Musical Comedy in One Act Book by MARTIN A. FOLLOSE Music and lyrics by BILL FRANCOEUR
CAST OF CHARACTERS # of lines LADY PIRATES CAPTAIN BREE ...... captain of the lady pirates; 143 tough and hard on the outside yet soft on the inside JANE ...... second in command and close 38 to Captain Bree JOSEPHINE ...... can never remember the rules 19 of pirating GABRIELLA ...... only one who can understand the 19 cook; very talkative SHAWNA ...... man crazy, especially for Samuel 46 PATTY...... from Ireland; helps to save fellow 23 countryman Fergus MAGGIE ...... mean and tough 32 GEORGIA ...... feels men are nothing but trouble 28 EXTRA LADY PIRATES ...... as desired n/a
THE CAPTIVES MADAM PRESCOT ...... wife of a British ambassador; 82 snooty upper-crust SAMUEL PRESCOT...... nephew of Madam Prescot; 52 “Auntie’s boy” JULIA PRESCOT ...... niece of Madam Prescot and 65 sister to Samuel; longs for adventure CAPTAIN JENNINGS ...... captain of the ship transporting 99 the Prescots FERGUS ...... skittish Irish sailor who 36 can’t swim
THOMAS ...... cabin boy 7 COOK ...... speaks with a Swedish accent 5 heavier than his meatballs
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JOHN ...... prisoner;prisoner; more brawn than brains 8 JACK ...... anotheranother 5
GEORGE ...... anotheranother 5 EXTRA PRISONERS...... asPRISONERS...... as desireddes red n/a
THE ROYAL NAVY
ADMIRAL MOORE ...... admiraladmiral of the British fleet eet 25
EXTRA OFFICERS ...... underunder AdmiralAdmira Moore n/a
SETTING Time: Late 1800s, over the course of one month.month
Place: Aboard the merchant ship “Kayla May.”May.
SET DESCRIPTION
The stage is s the upper deck of the ship.sh p. UPSTAGE, a railing runs the full length of the stage representing the left (port) side of the ship.
The railing must be solid and low enough that characters can jump overboard yet high enough that they cannot be seen once overboard. STAGE RIGHT is an optional small raised part of the deck near the
stern (back of the ship) with stairs. DOWNSTAGE represents the right (starboard) side, and STAGE LEFT leads to the bow (front of the ship).
DOWN LEFT there is a crate that can be used as a table with a few benches around it. In addition, dress up the set with additional crates,
ropes, wooden buckets and other typical ship items. FAR RIGHT there can be a mast, possibly with a sail on it. Cleaning props such
as mops, buckets and rags are readily available in the wings. Jutting out from the stage DOWNDOW CENTER is a plank, secured to the edge of the stage and extending out toward the audience with the other
end resting on a sturdy support. See PRODUCTION NOTES for more details about the set.set
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SEQUENCE OF MUSICAL NUMBERS
MC 1 Yo Ho! ...... Ensemble MC 1a Fight Music—The First Encounter ...... Instrumental MC 2 The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree ...... Bree, Lady Pirates MC 3 A Lady of Sensibility ...... Madam, other Captives MC 4 Thar Be a Man for Every Wench ...... Bree, Lady Pirates, Julia MC 5 We’re a Nasty Lot/The Plank! ...... Bree, Lady Pirates, Prescots, Kayla May Crew MC 6 Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion ...... Bree, Lady Pirates, Julia, Kayla May Crew MC 6a The Chase ...... Instrumental MC 6b Fight Music—The British Return ...... Instrumental MC 6c Fight Music—The Last Encounter ...... Instrumental MC 6d Yo Ho!—Reprise ...... Ensemble
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CAPTAIN BREE AND HER LADY PIRATES
Scene One 1 MUSIC CUE 1: “Yo Ho!” BEFORE LIGHTS UP, SOUND EFFECT: CRASH OF THUNDER. (NOTE: If a FOG MACHINE is available, the entire stage should be covered in FOG.) LIGHTS UP. The COMPANY ENTERS quickly RIGHT and LEFT and from the BACK OF THE 5 AUDITORIUM, if desired. They are loud, boisterous and fearsome, engaging audience members as they can. LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho!
MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho!
LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! 10 MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho! LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho! LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho!
15 LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho!
MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho!
LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho! (Several MEMBERS of the ENSEMBLE begin raising the flag with skull and crossbones—the “Jolly Roger.” 20 [NOTE: If a flagpole cannot be devised, ACTORS can simply
ENTER holding the flag.] Simultaneously, TWO dueling PIRATES
ENTER LEFT and cross RIGHT, striking swords as indicated on
CD and in MUSIC SCORE.)
ALL: (Sing.) Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! 25 Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! (TWO dueling PIRATES EXIT RIGHT, then RE-ENTER with swords sheathed as part of the ENSEMBLE.
Cheers and laughter. ENTIRE COMPANY should be ONSTAGE
at this point. LIGHTS UP FULL. Sing to AUDIENCE.)
30 Heave ho, welcome aboard. Dance a jig from rail to rail. Heave ho, welcome aboard. (A shout.) Avast! (Sing.) Make ready to sail!
LADIES: (Sing.) Heave away, me hearties,
35 The wind is blowin’ fair. Lower the main and topsails And catch the salty air.
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1 MEN: (Sing.) Heave away, me mateys, ’Tis time we’re underway. Touch the wind and keep her to, We’re outward bound today.
5 ALL: (Sing.) Heave ho, welcome aboard.
Pipe the pipe, now fiddle-de-dee!
Heave ho, welcome aboard.
Take her out to sea. LADIES: (Sing.) We’ll sail from Madagascar
10 To the Caribbean Isles. We’ll dock in ol’ Tortuga And revel for awhile.
MEN: (Sing.) There’s gold and silver waiting, If with us you remain. 15 We’ll hoist the “Jolly Roger” And sweep the Spanish Main! ALL: (Sing.) Heave ho, welcome aboard. Beat the drum, now fiddle-de-die! Heave ho, welcome aboard. 20 A pirate rogue am I!
LADIES: (Sing.) MEN: (Sing.)
Heave ho, welcome aboard. Heave ho!
Dance a jig, now fiddle-dee-day! Heave ho! Heave ho, welcome aboard… Heave ho!
25 ALL: (A shout.) Avast! (Sing.) We’re underway!
LADIES: (Sing.) MEN: (Sing.) Heave ho, welcome aboard. Heave ho! Dance a jig, now fiddle-dee-day! Heave ho! Heave ho, welcome aboard… Heave ho! 30 ALL: (A shout.) Avast! (Sing.) We’re underway! The course is set, the wind is right, They’ve signaled anchor’s aweigh. The shore will soon be out of sight, … So welcome aboard the “Kayla May”! (MUSIC OUT. BLACK- 35 OUT. ALL EXIT. LIGHTS UP on the Kayla May. FERGUS and EXTRA CREW MEMBERS are swarming about the stage, yelling and screaming, bumping into one another, some EXITING LEFT and RIGHT, some going OFF UPSTAGE by jumping “overboard”
over railing. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.] SOUND EFFECT: 40 SPLASHES as men go overboard. FERGUS is running around in a panic, flailing his arms and yelling, “Pirates, pirates!” Soon, ALL have EXITED except FERGUS.)
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1 FERGUS: Pirates! Pirates! JENNINGS: (ENTERS.) Fergus! What is going on? FERGUS: (Salutes.) Captain Jennings, sir. There are pirates off the starboard side!
5 JENNINGS: Pirates?! (Takes out his spyglass, runs to railing and looks UPSTAGE.) FERGUS: No, the starboard side.
: Oh. (Looks out over the AUDIENCE.) Pirates! Man JENNINGS the guns, break out the arms, turn her hard about! (FERGUS
10 continues to stand there.) Fergus, can’t you see there are pirates out there?
: They’re gone. FERGUS JENNINGS: The pirates are gone? (Pulls out his spyglass again and looks out over the AUDIENCE.)
15 FERGUS: Not the pirates, sir, your crew. Jumped ship at the first sighting of the pirates. JENNINGS: They jumped ship? Why, those cowards! Who’s left on the ship? FERGUS: Well, besides the noble passengers and ourselves, there’s 20 the cook and the cabin boy. And of course, there are the prisoners you have locked up in the brig. JENNINGS: Yes, I see. Well, the prisoners will have to be our crew. (Looks through his spyglass again. FERGUS taps him on the shoulder again.) What is it now, Fergus? 25 FERGUS: You have the key to the brig. JENNINGS: Oh. (Pulls out a key.) Get them up here on the double. (MADAM PRESCOT, SAMUEL and JULIA ENTER. MADAM makes a grand, imperious entrance, in large puffy dress and wig.) 30 MADAM: What on earth is going on? FERGUS: There are pirates off the starboard side. PRESCOTS: Pirates! (They ALL run to the railing and look UPSTAGE.)
FERGUS: No, the starboard side.
35 PRESCOTS: Oh. (They look out over the AUDIENCE.)
FERGUS: And the crew has jumped ship. PRESCOTS: Jumped ship? JENNINGS: Fergus, we don’t need to upset the passengers. Just go release the prisoners. I need them on deck. (FERGUS EXITS.) 40 MADAM: Is this true? Are there pirates off the starboard side?
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1 JULIA: How exciting! MADAM: Julia, pirates are not exciting, they are dangerous and disgusting. JULIA: But a pirate’s life must be exciting. (Pretends to sword fight.) 5 Swinging onto ships, the battles, the adventures… I wish I could be a pirate. MADAM: My dear, a pirate is a dirty commoner who is far below people like us. And ladies are simply not pirates. (JULIA continues her imaginary sword fight.) Oh, for heaven’s sake. (To JENNINGS.) 10 Captain Jennings, just what are you doing about these pirates? JENNINGS: We have everything under control, Madam Prescot. SAMUEL: But the crew jumped ship! JENNINGS: Everything will be just fine. Why don’t you all return below deck while we take care of this situation? 15 MADAM: And just how do you plan to take care of this situation without a capable crew? JENNINGS: I have able-bodied men on their way up. With them, we can hold off the pirates without any trouble. Ah, here they come
now. (FERGUS pushes ON JOHN, JACK, GEORGE and optional 20 EXTRA PRISONERS. [NOTE: From here on out, PRISONERS are included as part of the KAYLA MAY CREW and later as part of the CAPTIVES.]) JOHN: Hey! What’s going on up here? JACK: You woke me up from my nap. 25 GEORGE: Yeah, look at that mug. He needs a lot of beauty sleep. SAMUEL: These are the men who will hold back the pirates? They couldn’t even hold back an army of women! (Gets close to GEORGE, who growls at him. SAMUEL screams and runs to
hide behind MADAM. The PRISONERS make faces at him and 30 continue to act quite childishly during the following dialogue.)
JENNINGS: (Looks out over the AUDIENCE with spyglass. Shocked.
Speaks.) Why, the ship flies the flag of Captain Bree.
MADAM PRESCOT: Captain Bree? JENNINGS: (Speaks.) They are only the most ruthless, thieving 35 pirates who have ever sailed the Seven Seas! MADAM: Oh, my! Whatever will happen to us? FERGUS: Usually, the women are sold as slaves and the men are forced to walk the plank, or thrown overboard. SAMUEL: Overboard!? Like into the water?
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1 MADAM: (To SAMUEL.) Don’t worry, Samuel, Auntie will take care of everything. (To JENNINGS.) Are you sure the men will be thrown overboard by those nasty cutthroats if they board the ship? JENNINGS: I’m afraid that is a possibility, madam. 5 MADAM: Samuel, you will surely get the sneezes from that cold water. You could even drown, God forbid! We must do everything we can to save my nephew from this horrible fate! FERGUS: Too bad he isn’t your niece. That would at least save him from swimming with the sharks. 10 MADAM: (Suddenly gets an idea.) Julia, I have an idea. Quick, we must dress Samuel in one of my dresses.
SAMUEL: A dress? I’m not wearing a dress! I assure you, that won’t
be necessary.
JULIA: Would you rather be shark bait?
15 SAMUEL: (Thinks quickly.) I look good in pink. (JULIA quickly runs
OFF to find a dress.)
MADAM: (Yells OFF after JULIA.) Julia, do make sure it’s not one of my finer dresses… oh, what am I saying? All of my dresses are fine. (JULIA RE-ENTERS with a dress, which she and MADAM 20 work to put on SAMUEL during the following dialogue.) JENNINGS: I’m sure this will all be unnecessary. Certainly we will be able to hold off the scoundrels. MADAM: Well then do something! JENNINGS: (To FERGUS and SAMUEL.) Break open the armory. Get 25 these men armed! ([See PRODUCTION NOTES for an alternative fight scene.] FERGUS and SAMUEL EXIT.) MADAM: These men are common criminals, not trained swordsmen. We’re doomed!
JENNINGS: Don’t worry, they won’t take us without a good fight.
30 (FERGUS and SAMUEL RE-ENTER with swords for themselves,
JOHN, JACK and GEORGE.) My crew and I will fight to the very
last man. No scurvy pirates will get the best of us. (MUSIC CUE
1a: “Fight Music—The First Encounter.” Suddenly the PIRATES
swing, jump or crawl over the railing, swords drawn. A fight begins,
35 but alas, the KAYLA MAY CREW and PASSENGERS are no match
against the PIRATES, who chase them around, creating a sense
of general chaos. In actuality, this “chaos” needs to be carefully
blocked and rehearsed. The whole time, SAMUEL is screaming
like a girl while MADAM is fending off the PIRATES from him with
40 a broom and trying to stop JULIA, who is pretending to sword
fight like a pirate. JENNINGS and BREE are engaged in a well-
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1 matched sword fight, but in the end, BREE wins. MUSIC OUT. The PIRATES have the KAYLA MAY CREW and PASSENGERS captured, although JOHN manages to keep hold of his sword [or broom], which he hides behind his back.)
5 BREE: Round the prisoners up. (The PIRATES assemble the KAYLA
MAY CREW and PASSENGERS [referred to as CAPTIVES from
now on].)
MADAM: You were saying about a good fight, Captain Jennings?
FERGUS: Why, these aren’t pirates, they’re women!
10 CREW: Women?!
BREE: Congratulations. (MUSIC CUE 2: “The Lady Pirates of
Captain Bree.”)
BREE: (Speaks.) You’ve just been captured by the Lady Pirates of
Captain Bree! (The CAPTIVES fall back in fear, except MADAM, 15 who stands her ground. Sings.) Avast, ye lubbers, stand aside and don’t ye mutter a word! ’Cause if ye do, me mates will gladly carve ye like a bird. We want yer silver, want yer gold, whar be the treasure chest? We want yer jewels an’ baubles, and it ain’t a bloomin’ request! 20 ALL PIRATES: (Sing.) Huzzah! Hooray! Fa-laddle-ee doodle-ee-day! Huzzah! Hooray! We be wenches gone astray. Huzzah! Hooray! 25 Fa-laddle-ee doodle-ee-dee! A quite despicable crew are we, The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree!
JANE: (Sings.) Now, when we sees a ship we wants, we raise ol’ Roger high.
30 SHAWNA: (Sings.) We chase ’em down an’ swing aboard then look ’em in the eye. PATTY: (Sings.) With musket drawn and sword in hand, we jump into the fray. GABRIELLA: (Sings.) 35 Then we divvy up the bootie as we duly sail away! ALL PIRATES: (Sing.) Huzzah! Hooray! Fa-laddle-ee doodle-ee-day! Huzzah! Hooray! We be wenches gone astray. 40 Huzzah! Hooray! Fa-laddle-ee doodle-ee-dee!
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1 A vile scourge upon the sea, The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree! (MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER. MAGGIE and GEORGIA grab MADAM and move her back with the other CAPTIVES.) 5 MADAM: (Speaks.) Unhand me, you brutes! (MAGGIE and GEORGIA point their swords at MADAM.)
MAGGIE: (Speaks.) Cap’n, can we run this one through?
BREE: (Speaks.) Not until we find out whar the treasure be. If she gives you any more trouble, stuff a boot in her mouth.
10 MAGGIE: (Speaks. Smiles.) It’d be a pleasure, Cap’n.
GEORGIA: (Speaks. Sneers at MADAM.) That it will. MADAM: (Speaks; pushes the swords away.) The nerve! MAGGIE: (Sings; to MADAM.) We ain’t that much fer manners, an’ our English ain’t the best, (Up 15 close to MADAM’S face.) An’ we been known to dance upon a dead man’s chest. (MADAM almost faints from MAGGIE’S bad breath.) GEORGIA: (Sings; to MADAM.) Our clothes is old an’ ragged, an’ we smell just like a pig. 20 ALL PIRATES: (Sing.) But we be pirate lassies who can truly dance a jig! (DANCE INTERLUDE. ALL PIRATES dance a jig. MAGGIE and GEORGIA take MADAM by the hands and force her to clumsily dance with
them.)
25 MADAM: (Resists. After the dance, she pulls back in disgust. Speaks.)
Let go of me! How dare you! (The PIRATES laugh.)
BREE: (Sings.) Enough of all the foolishness, enough of all the play,
Tell us whar the treasure be an’ whar the bootie lay.
JANE: (Sings.) 30 Ye best be givin’ us what we wants, or pay the penalty…
ALL PIRATES: (Sing.) …a stroll upon the plank at the command of Captain Bree! Huzzah! Hooray! Fa-laddle-ee doodle-ee-day! 35 Huzzah! Hooray! We be wenches gone astray. Huzzah! Hooray! Fa-laddle-ee doodle-ee-dee! We’re women of opportunity,
40 The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree!
BREE: (Sings.) The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree!
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1 ALL PIRATES: (Sing.) A sisterhood of thieves are we, The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree! (MUSIC OUT. JOHN sees he has no chance and tosses his sword down at the feet of CAPTAIN BREE a symbol of surrender. JOSEPHINE picks up the sword, 5 not sure what to do with it. Gives it to BREE.) MADAM: I demand you “ladies” remove yourselves from this ship at once. MAGGIE: Quiet, you old hog. MADAM: Well, I never! Do you know just who you are talking to? 10 BREE: The one that will bring me a good price on the slave market, if they pay me by the pound. (PIRATES laugh.) MADAM: I just happen to be the wife of a British ambassador. GEORGIA: Well, la dee da! BREE: I don’t care if ye be the wife o’ the King of England ’imself. 15 Gabby, take Shawna and go check below for anyone else. GABRIELLA: (Very quickly.) Aye, Captain. I’ll check below deck, and if I be findin’ anything, I’ll dash up on deck and report it to ye. No matter how small, I’ll tell ye what I see. BREE: Fine. 20 GABRIELLA: I’m proud o’ me duty to follow all your orders, so I will go below deck and see what I can see. And like I said, if— BREE: (Shouts.) Jest go below deck. (GABRIELLA and SHAWNA EXIT.) JULIA: Excuse me, Captain Bree. Do you think that I could join your 25 group of pirates? (PIRATES laugh.) JANE: You, become a pirate? MADAM: (Steps forward.) Julia, just what do you think you are doing?! (MAGGIE pushes her back in place.) BREE: Ye want to join us as a lady pirate? 30 JULIA: Oh, yes, more than anything! Being a pirate seems so exciting! I want to be just like you. (MADAM again tries to object, but the PIRATES hold her back. Throughout this scene, MADAM keeps trying to interject, but the PIRATES stop her with snarls, growls, threatening gestures, etc.) 35 BREE: Like me? Ye want to be a pirate like me? MAGGIE: Why, we be considered—by your kind—to be the lowest forms o’ life. Lower than animals. (The PIRATES make sounds like different animals and laugh.)
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1 JULIA: But your life is much more exciting than mine. I always have to act like a lady while the men have all the fun. Oh, please teach me to be a pirate. MADAM: Julia, I insist you stop this nonsense right this very minute! 5 A proper lady— (MAGGIE stuffs some sort of gagging device in MADAM’S mouth.) JULIA: Please? I can be a hard worker. BREE: (Thinks. Nods her head.) Ye must prove yerself, young lassie, if ye wants to join me an’ the lady pirates. It be no cup o’ tea, if 10 that’s what ye be thinkin’. JULIA: (Jumps and claps her hands.) Oh, I’m up for the challenge! BREE: Jo, start her on the filthiest task ye can think of, see how she fares. JOSEPHINE: Aye, Cap’n. A filthy task shouldn’t be too hard to find on 15 this ship! (PIRATES laugh. GABRIELLA and SHAWNA ENTER with COOK and THOMAS.) SHAWNA: These two be the only ones we found below deck, Cap’n. THOMAS: Let me go, or I’ll have you hanging from the mast! (The PIRATES laugh.) 20 GABRIELLA: (Quickly, as always.) We found ’em below deck. That’s whar ye told us to look, below deck, remember? First, Shawna found the cook, then I found this cabin boy hiding, so we brought ’em up here to ye straight away. BREE: Good job. 25 GABRIELLA: Yep, ’twas real interesting how Shawna found the cook in the galley— BREE: Enough! (To THOMAS.) What do we have here? A little boy? THOMAS: Don’t call me little, or I’ll swab the deck with you. (Breaks loose from GABRIELLA.) 30 GEORGIA: Careful, Cap’n. The little one might bite yer knee. THOMAS: I warned you. (Starts swinging, but BREE holds him at bay by putting her hand on his head. He continues to swing but lands no punches. The PIRATES laugh.) JENNINGS: That’s enough, boy. (Pulls THOMAS away.) Before you 35 know it, she’ll have a hankering to see how well you swim. THOMAS: I ain’t afraid of no girl! JENNINGS: Well, that girl has a 36-inch sword. (BREE displays her sword. THOMAS instantly quiets down.) BREE: (To the COOK.) And who are you?
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1 COOK: (With a heavy Swedish accent. [Or any foreign accent. Adjust his lines accordingly.]) I am the Svedish cook. BREE: What did he say? GABRIELLA: He said (Imitates him exactly with his accent.), I am the 5 Svedish cook. BREE: Tell me in pirate talk. GABRIELLA: Oh. He be the cook. Ye know, the one who be makin’ the grub and who— BREE: Gabby! (To JENNINGS.) And you must be the captain o’ this 10 vessel. JENNINGS: Yes, I’m Captain Jennings. JANE: Whar be yer crew, Captain? JENNINGS: Out for a long swim, I’m afraid.
: This be yer only crew? (Indicates the MEN. JENNINGS GEORGIA 15 nods. The PIRATES laugh.)
JOSEPHINE: What a sad lookin’ bunch. (The MEN ad-lib protest, but are quickly put down by the PIRATES.)
BREE: (Puts sword under JENNINGS chin.) Now, Captain Jennings, whar be yer treasure?
20 JENNINGS: Treasure? We have no treasure on this voyage. Only passengers. BREE: (Indicates the PRESCOTS.) This be yer only cargo? JENNINGS: That’s my only cargo.
BREE: (Looks them over.) Won’t bring a high price on the slave
25 market. GEORGIA: (Pulls SAMUEL out from the group.) We’ll be havin’ to pay someone to take this one. (PIRATES laugh.) SAMUEL: (In his normal voice.) Hey, leave me alone. (Coughes and changes to a falsetto pitch.) Leave me alone. 30 MAGGIE: Sounds like she has a bit of a cold. MADAM: Leave my neph—my niece alone. (Pulls SAMUEL back.) As you can see, there is no treasure here, and, as you said, we would not bring a high price on the slave market. So I suggest you vacate this ship at once. 35 BREE: We’ll leave the ship when we be good and ready.
: Until then, we want to have some fun. Right, mateys? (The JANE PIRATES cheer.)
: Let’s make the men walk the plank. (The OTHER PIRATES MAGGIE agree.)
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1 SHAWNA: But can’t we keep the men for ourselves? At least the cute ones? BREE: No, men be nothin’ but trouble. JULIA: (To JANE.) Do you have plank walkings often? 5 JANE: Whenever we take over a ship. JULIA: I knew this was going to be exciting! Can I make them walk the plank? MADAM: Julia! How could you even think of such a thing? JULIA: Well, they’re only talking about the men, so it won’t be hurting 10 you or my “sister.” MADAM: Young lady! I never knew you had such violent tendencies. SAMUEL: (In normal voice.) Oh, she does. She beats me up once a week. (In falsetto.) I mean (To JULIA.), naughty girl. (Hides back behind MADAM.)
15 BREE: (To JULIA.) Watch and learn, lassie. (To PIRATES.) Now, how should we decide today who be walkin’ the plank first? JANE: To walk the plank, ye need balance, so let’s pick the man who has no balance. (The OTHER PIRATES cheer and agree.) BREE: ’Tis a good idea. But how? 20 MAGGIE: Make ’em stand on one foot. BREE: (Shouts orders to the MEN.) Up on one foot! (The MEN pick up one foot.) GEORGIA: Stand on one leg while pattin’ their heads. BREE: Pat yer heads. (They pat their heads and start getting
25 wobbly.)
: Rub yer bellies. ’Twould be very funny if they rub their GABRIELLA bellies at the same time they—
BREE: (Cuts off GABRIELLA.) Rub yer bellies! (The MEN start rubbing their bellies while patting their heads and standing on one 30 foot. The PIRATES laugh at them as the MEN start to lose their balance. Finally, FERGUS falls down. The PIRATES cheer. BREE points at FERGUS.) Bring that one to the plank. (SHAWNA and GEORGIA grab him and bring him up to the plank.) FERGUS: (In complete terror.) No, no, not the plank! (They put him on 35 the plank. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.]) Run me through with a sword, hang me from the mast, but please, please not the plank! (They push him a little further. Screams.) I’m just a poor Irishman who can’t swim. JOSEPHINE: Whoever heard of a sailor who can’t swim? (The 40 PIRATES laugh.)
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1 MAGGIE: And they say men be better. JOSEPHINE: We can all swim, can’t we, ladies? (The PIRATES agree.) MAGGIE: Out farther, ye yellow bellied— (Pokes him with her sword.) 5 PATTY: Stop! (MAGGIE stops poking him. To FERGUS.) Ye be from Ireland? FERGUS: From the port city of Galway, I am. PATTY: Galway? ’Tis me hometown. FERGUS: Alas, dear lady, from one countryman to another, save me 10 from the plank. PATTY: (To BREE.) Please, Cap’n? Save this poor Irishman’s life. ’Tis a fellow countryman. BREE: (Looks around. Thinks.) What’ll you give me for ’im? PATTY: I’ll… I’ll swab the deck! 15 BREE: (Looks at deck.) Well, it is lookin’ due for a cleanin’… PATTY: I’ll make it ship-shape, just the way ye like it!
BREE: Oh, all right. Bring ’im back on deck. (SHAWNA and MAGGIE bring FERGUS back on deck. He rushes over to BREE and PATTY and falls at their feet, grabbing them. PATTY obviously 20 enjoys this.) FERGUS: Thank you, thank you. Thank you for sparing me life. BREE: If ye don’t let go of me feet, you’ll be havin’ a mouthful o’ toe jam. FERGUS: Yes, Captain, ma’am, thank you. (Rushes back to rest of 25 CREW. PATTY continues to eye him during the ensuing dialogue. He shoots back nervous glances.) BREE: Enough fun for today. Gabby, bring the cook here. Take the rest of ’em below deck. (JOSEPHINE and PATTY push all the MEN OFF except the COOK. JULIA, trying to be pirate-like, forces 30 MADAM and SAMUEL OFF, to their surprise.) JOSEPHINE: (As she EXITS with PATTY and the CAPTIVES. To JULIA.) All right, lassie, are ye ready to be put to the test? (They’re OUT.) BREE: (GABRIELLA pulls the COOK over to BREE.) Cook. What is 35 your specialty? COOK: (In his heavy Swedish accent, as always.) Svedish meatballs in a tomato sauce vith onions and garlic.
BREE: What did he say? GABRIELLA: He said (Imitates his accent.), Svedish meatballs in a 40 tomato sauce vith—
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1 BREE: In pirate talk! GABRIELLA: Oh, meatballs. BREE: Have ’im cook us up some. COOK: But I don’t have any meat to make the meatballs.
5 BREE: What did he say? GABRIELLA: He said (Imitates his accent.), but I don’t have any meat— (BREE leans in threateningly. She speaks normally.) I mean, he ain’t got any meat. BREE: Then have ’im cook up whatever he’s got… he must have 10 some seafood, at least. GABRIELLA: Okay, I’ll tell ’im to make us some grub from the ingredients he’s alreadya ready got. I ain’t got any idea what he has, but I’m sure he can cook something up. (Snorts.) Hey, get it? Cook something up? (Laughs at herself.)herse f ) After all, he’s the cook on this 15 ship, and— BREE: Off with you! (GABRIELLA quickly EXITS with COOK.) JANE: Captain, ’twas a waste o’ time boardin’ this ship. Thar be no loot. BREE: Aye, but maybe we can salvage our efforts with a bit more 20 profit.pro t. JANE: You know now how we hate sellin’sell n’ off women as slaves. Why, most of us were slavessla es before joinin’ on with you. BREE: Aye. (Thinks.) All right. I have a plan. We ransom the passengers off. We send the cabin boy ashore with a note 25 demanding one thousand pieces o’ gold for their return. When we get the gold, we set the prisoners adrift on our ship and take this
bigger ship as our own.
GEORGIA: But what if they send the British fleet eet afterafter usus?
BREE: That won’t be happenin’. Not with the Prescots on board. We
30 hold the cards. We just have to play ’em very carefully.
MAGGIE: Thar be only a bunch o’ pansy men on this ship. I say we cut our losses and throw ’em all overboard. SHAWNA: Can we keep the cute ones? GEORGIA: (Ignores SHAWNA.) That ain’t a bad idea. No one would 35 know we had alreadya ready taken care of ‘em. BREE: I’m not gonna throw ’em overboard jest yet me hardies. (PIRATES moan in disappointment.) We’ll e’ll ransom them off and divide the loot among us.
SHAWNA: We’ll even ransom off the men?
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1 BREE: Aye, even the men. (ALL except SHAWNA cheer.) Let’s get Madam Prescot up here to write a ransom note. And fetch the cap’n, too. We be needin’ his signature on the note as well. JANE: (To GEORGIA and SHAWNA.) Fetch Madam Prescot and 5 the cap’n on the double. (GEORGIA and SHAWNA EXIT. To MAGGIE.) Maggie, you fetch the niece, in case we need to do some persuadin’. ALL PIRATES: Arrgh! (MAGGIE EXITS.) JANE: The rest of ye, go below deck and get yerselves some grub. 10 (The rest of the PIRATES EXIT, except JANE and BREE.) You think the plan’s a good one, Cap’n? BREE: Don’t know. We’ve never ransomed anyone off before. JANE: ’Twill be important to get the timing right. We have to have time to get away after we collect the gold. 15 BREE: Aye. (GEORGIA and SHAWNA push MADAM and JENNINGS ON.) MADAM: Just get your filthy hands off me! (Struggles to break free.) BREE: Bring them over here. (GEORGIA and SHAWNA push them DOWN LEFT to benches and crate.)
20 MADAM: I said keep those filthy hands off me!
: Madam Prescot, please just do as they ask. (MADAM JENNINGS sits.)
GEORGIA: Yeah, and quit yer squawkin’, or we’ll be givin’ ye somethin’ to squawk about!
25 JANE: If ye cooperate, we won’t be sellin’ ye on the slave market, and we’ll even spare the men for now. MADAM: So you will be leaving the ship? BREE: Not so fast. Our plans are to ransom your party off. We need a note written by you and signed by Cap’n Jennings to convince 30 your family that we be holdin’ ye hostage. MADAM: I will not help you in any way! (MAGGIE ENTERS with SAMUEL. He is fighting to get loose and alternates between his real voice and a falsetto.) SAMUEL: Let me go! Let me go! Auntie, please just cooperate with 35 them! BREE: Ye will, or I will have ye thrown overboard, along with yer niece! MADAM: Then throw us overboard, because you’re crazy if you think I will write a note for you. (MUSIC CUE 3: “A Lady of
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1 Sensibility.” NOTE: During this song, FERGUS, THOMAS, COOK, JOHN, JACK, GEORGE and EXTRA PRISONERS poke their heads IN LEFT and RIGHT, from behind barrels, crates, etc., to join JENNINGS and SAMUEL in singing the CAPTIVES’ lines.
5 Each time they do this, the PIRATES move as if to detain them. Speaks.) I have my honor to uphold, dear Captain… (Sings.) I’m a lady of sensibility, I’m aristocracy! I won’t be forced into your plot. I’ll have revenge, you’ll see! 10 I’m a lady of sensibility, I come from noble stock. I’ll be watching when they hang you all at Execution Dock! JENNINGS/SAMUEL/OFFSTAGE CAPTIVES: (Poke their heads IN. Sing.) And she’ll be watching when they hang you all at Execution Dock! 15 MADAM: (Sings.) I’m a lady of sensibility who adheres to rules and codes. I’ve attended all the finest schools, from Wellington to Rhodes. I’m a lady of sensibility, demanding your respect. I shall repay this act of villainy with a noose around each neck! 20 CAPTIVES: (Again, APPEAR LEFT and RIGHT, etc. Sing.) She will repay this act of villainy with a noose around each neck! (Music CONTINUES under.) MAGGIE: (Speaks.) Cap’n, can we just feed her to the sharks and be done with it?! 25 GEORGIA: (Speaks; referring to MADAM.) Aye, this one’s goin’ to drive us crazy! BREE: (Speaks.) Not jest yet. SHAWNA: (Speaks.) Are you ready to write the note? MADAM: (Speaks.) Never!
30 : (Speaks.) All right, then. Ladies, hoist the squeaky one BREE overboard! (GEORGIA and MAGGIE move to SAMUEL, who is wide-eyed with fear.)
MADAM: (Speaks.) You wouldn’t dare!
JANE: (Pulls BREE aside. Sotto voce.) Are ye really goin’ to throw her
35 niece overboard?
BREE: (Sotto voce.) Only if we have to.
JANE: (Sotto voce.) What if Prescot won’t write the note?
BREE: (Sotto voce.) She will, mate. She will. (They rejoin OTHERS at crate.)
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1 MADAM: (Sings.) I’m a lady of sensibility who won’t be bullied so. A woman held in high regard everywhere she goes. I’m a lady of sensibility with royalty as friends, I refuse to bow down to your will, I’ll fight you till the end! 5 CAPTIVES: (Sing.) And she’ll refuse to bow down to your will, she’ll fight you till the end! (Music CONTINUES under.) MADAM: (Speaks.) Captain Jennings, are you just going to sit there and watch while they throw Sam—I mean, Samantha overboard? 10 JENNINGS: (Speaks.) You could write the note. MADAM: (Speaks.) Captain Jennings, I would have thought you had more backbone than that! JENNINGS: (Speaks.) Insulting me will not change the situation. If you write the note, it will give us more time to devise a plan of 15 escape. MADAM: (Speaks.) I will not help these bloodthirsty pirates! (Sings.) I’m a lady of sensibility who will not run and hide. My family’s name is widely known, a fact I state with pride. I’m a lady of sensibility, from England’s upper class. 20 I do find you most distastefully vulgar and crass! CAPTIVES: (Sing.) And she does find you most distastefully vulgar and crass! (NOTE: At this point, CAPTIVES ENTER and sing, oblivious to
the PIRATES, who are about to detain them.) 25 She’s a lady of sensibility, she’s aristocracy! She won’t be forced into your plot!
MADAM: (Sings.) I’ll have revenge, you’ll see!
CAPTIVES: (Sing.) She’s a lady of sensibility who comes from noble stock! 30 MADAM: (Sings.) I’ll be watching when they hang you all at Execution Dock! CAPTIVES: (Sing.) And she’ll be watching when they hang you all at Execution Dock!
35 … MADAM: (Sings.) I’m a lady CAPTIVES: (Sing.) She’s a lady, She’s a lady… MADAM/CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Of sensibility! Of sensibility! Of sensibility! (Pirates groan and block their ears.)
40 (Sing.) Of sensibility! Of sensibility! Of sen-si-bility! (At this point, MAGGIE can’t take any more, draws her sword and aims
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1 it at MADAM. OTHER PIRATES stop her. Sing.) Of sensibility! Sensibility! (MADAM snubs her nose at the PIRATES on the final note. MUSIC OUT. JOSEPHINE, PATTY, and GABRIELLA ENTER and drag the CAPTIVES, except SAMUEL and 5 JENNINGS, OFF.) BREE: Are ye ready to write the note? (MADAM folds her arms and looks away.) Prepare to throw her overboard. (JANE helps GEORGIA and MAGGIE grab SAMUEL. One grabs each of his feet and one grabs under his arms and they begin to swing him.) 10 Now, Madam Prescot? MADAM: You have my answer. BREE: Then you have mine. On three, mates. JANE/GEORGIA/MAGGIE: (Begin to swing him.) One… SAMUEL: Auntie, please! 15 JANE/GEORGIA/MAGGIE: Two… SAMUEL: Two! Auntie, do something! (The next three lines must be said very quickly.) MADAM: (Said almost simultaneously with the next two lines.) Okay!
BREE: (Said almost simultaneously with MADAM’S line and the 20 PIRATES’ counting.) Stop!
: (Said almost simultaneously with JANE/GEORGIA/MAGGIE MADAM and BREE’S above lines.) Three. (They throw SAMUEL
overboard. He screams. SOUND EFFECT: A SPLASH. EVERYONE reacts. MADAM screams.) 25 BREE: I said stop!
GEORGIA: But ye didn’t tell us soon enough.
MAGGIE: (Shrugs.) We had our momentum goin’. SHAWNA: (Indicates MADAM.) Really, it’s her fault. MADAM: I will write the note. Just pull my— (Catches herself.) niece 30 out of the water. And do hurry! BREE: (Glares at MADAM. After a beat.) Throw her a line. (SHAWNA throws a rope over the railing.) Madam, why don’t we go below and write that note? MADAM: Not until… uh… Samantha is brought back on board. 35 BREE: Cut the rope! MADAM: Okay, okay. BREE: We’ll have her brought to you. MADAM: I will see you hang for this! BREE: There is always that possibility. But now, the note. (She, 40 MADAM and JENNINGS EXIT.)
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1 JANE: Why don’t the rest of us get some grub? Shawna can handle this lassie. (ALL except SHAWNA EXIT.) SHAWNA: (Stands and looks over the railing.) Hurry and climb, lassie. I’m hungry for me supper, too, ye know. 5 SAMUEL’S VOICE: (From OFF UP CENTER. Falsetto.) I don’t think I can climb all the way up. SHAWNA: Then fish bait you’ll be. SAMUEL: (Normal voice.) I can do it. (SHAWNA turns to face DOWNSTAGE, tapping her foot impatiently while waiting for 10 SAMUEL to climb up. We hear him struggling to get to the top. Finally, we see his arm APPEAR over the railing, then his face. He has lost his bonnet, which is now hanging from his neck, and keeps his face turned away from SHAWNA. His hair should be wet and messy. She helps him get back ON. For laughs, SAMUEL’S 15 clothes can also be noticeably wet.) SHAWNA: ’Twas a long climb. (Looks at him and does a doubletake.) Why, you’re not a girl, you’re a boy! SAMUEL: Oh! (Tries to put his bonnet back on.) Please don’t throw me overboard again. 20 SHAWNA: When I tell Captain Bree of this, it will be off with yer head for sure. SAMUEL: My head?! No, my lady! Please don’t tell Captain Bree. (Lets out a loud sneeze, then pulls out a pretty handkerchief and blows his nose.) 25 SHAWNA: (Softens.) Did you call me a lady? ’Tis a long time since anyone has called me a lady. Do ye think me pretty? SAMUEL: Pretty? (Catches on to how this might help him.) Ah, yes, a natural beauty.
SHAWNA: Oh, I long for the days when the boys came a’courtin’ in
30 the moonlight. I do love the moonlight, don’t you?
SAMUEL: Moonlight? Oh, yes, yes. I love th—the—the— (Sneezes.)
moonlight.
SHAWNA: (Gets closer to him.) It’s so romantic. SAMUEL: (Uncomfortable.) Romantic? You mean like in a boy and a … 35 girl together? SHAWNA: Aye, like in a boy and a girl together. (Moves even closer to him.) SAMUEL: You won’t tell the others that I’m a boy, will you? SHAWNA: No, I want to keep ye for meself. Put yer bonnet back on. 40 (Helps to put his bonnet back on.)
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1 SAMUEL: I have never had anyone want to help me. How can I repay you for your kindness? SHAWNA: Tomorrow night, it’s me turn for first watch. I’ll keep your secret if ye come up on deck and enjoy the moonlight with me. 5 SAMUEL: Okay, if you keep my secret. SHAWNA: Yer secret is safe with me.
: (ENTERS with JENNINGS.) I see you got the lassie aboard. BREE SHAWNA: Aye, Captain. He—I mean, she—jest climbed aboard. BREE: Then be off with ye below deck. (SAMUEL and SHAWNA EXIT 10 in opposite directions, shyly waving to each other as they depart. BREE sees this and thinks it a little strange, then shakes her head and gets back to business. She holds up the paper. To JENNINGS.) In the mornin’, Captain Jennings, we be settin’ the cabin boy out in a lifeboat to deliver this message. (Holds up the paper.) 15 JENNINGS: And what if the boy doesn’t make it back? BREE: One step at a time, Cap’n Jennings. One step at a time.
JENNINGS: Surely you know that if you hurt Madam Prescot in any
way, the British government will put a price on your heads that
even other pirates won’t pass up.
20 BREE: My crew and I are not afraid o’ the British government. JENNINGS: You are a tough, determined woman, Captain Bree. But I can see that you are no lady. BREE: (Upset, she takes her sword and puts it to JENNINGS’ neck.) Not a lady? Why, I’m as much of a lady as that Madam Prescot. 25 JENNINGS: (With a touch of irony.) I can’t remember the last time a lady held a sword to my throat. BREE: (Takes the sword away.) You think because Madam Prescot wears a fancy dress and talks real fine that she is more of a lady than me? Tell me, Cap’n, do ye find me attractive? 30 JENNINGS: I’m not sure I want to answer that, since you have the sword. BREE: Speak yer mind, Captain Jennings, with no fear of bloodshed. (They stand face to face, very close, when JANE and JULIA ENTER, both wearing swords in sheaths. BREE and JENNINGS 35 step apart.) JULIA: So what’s the first thing I need to know about being a pirate? (Realizes she has interrupted BREE and JENNINGS.) Oh, excuse us. JENNINGS: (Feeling awkward.) Ah, I’m going to go see about that 40 “grub” you were talking about. (EXITS. The PIRATES ENTER,
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1 patting their bellies and looking satisfied. GEORGIA and some of the other PIRATES sit on crates and benches DOWN LEFT.) PATTY: That was one o’ the best meals I have ever had. MAGGIE: And made by a man, too! 5 SHAWNA: It’s the only meal that I’ve ever had made by a man. JOSEPHINE: I think I’d like to marry the cook. GEORGIA: What ye be wantin’ a man fer? SHAWNA: Doesn’t every woman want a man?
: Not me, lassie at least anymore. Men are nothin’ but GEORGIA 10 trouble. Why, half the reason I became a pirate is because of
men.
: The other half is because no man would have ye. (They ALL PATTY laugh except GEORGIA.)
GEORGIA: (Stands up and leans into PATTY.) You take that back, or
15 I’ll slit yer throat!
: (Pulls GEORGIA back.) You can’t do that! JOSEPHINE JANE: ’Tis true. We shouldn’t be fightin’ among ourselves. SHAWNA: I think there’s a perfect man for each of us. We just have to find him. 20 GEORGIA: But what man be wantin’ a woman who is better than he with a sword? JANE: And what man be wantin’ us lookin’ like this? (Points to their ragged pirate clothes. MUSIC CUE 4: “Thar Be a Man for Every
Wench.” During the song, JULIA watches and listens with interest
25 and amusement. Near the end of the song, she joins in.)
: (Speaks.) And besides that, we stink to high heaven! PATTY : (Speaks.) Aye, I do admit, ye look a bit ragged… (Fans the BREE air.) …and ye most certainly could do with a bath. Perhaps… (Sings.) …an overhaul from stem to stern,
30 A scrubbin’ down from fore to aft. Each of ye’s a worthy craft, (PIRATES perk up.) But yer right to be concerned. I’ll tell ye rightly, tell ye true, It might could take a heap o’ prayer. 35 But as yer captain, I do swear, Thar’s a gent for each of you. (PIRATES perk up.) Could be a Michael, a Mickey, a Willie or Sal, A Richard, a Robert, a Louie or Cal, Henry, a Harry, a Phillip or Hal, 40 English, Irish, Dutch or French!
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1 OTHER PIRATES: (Sing.) English, Irish, Dutch or French! BREE: (Sings.) A William, a Walter, a Jimmy or John, A Paddy, a Peter, a Timmy or Don. Thomas, a Kevin, a Danny or Shawn, 5 Thar be a man for every wench! OTHER PIRATES: (Sing.) Thar be a man for every wench! BREE: (Points to their hair. Sings.) Yer look-out nest is shaggy and dull. (Points to their blouses.) Yer upper sails are tattered and torn. 10 Yer lower sails are weathered and worn. And yer shoes have holes in their hull! (Moans and groans.) Now, ladies, don’t ye go an’ fret. I know this ain’t a boastful whim.
It may seem hopeless, may seem grim,
15 But ye ain’t defeated yet!
ALL PIRATES: (Sing.) Cause there’s a Michael, a Mickey, a Willie or Sal, A Richard, a Robert, a Louie or Cal, Henry, a Harry, a Phillip or Hal, 20 BREE: (Sings.) Russian, German, Polish or French!
OTHER PIRATES: (Sing.) Russian, German, Polish or French!
ALL PIRATES: (Sing.) A William, a Walter, a Jimmy or John,
A Paddy, a Peter, a Timmy or Don. Thomas, a Kevin, a Danny or Shawn, 25 BREE: (Sings.) Thar be a man for every wench! OTHER PIRATES: (Sing.) Thar be a man for every wench! (MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER.) MAGGIE: (Speaks.) But, Cap’n, we can take a bath and change our clothes, but we can’t do a thing about the way the Almighty made 30 us. ALL PIRATES: (Ad-lib.) Aye! She’s right. Just look at us. We’re shipwrecks, etc. (BREE shakes her head in agreement.) PATTY: ([NOTE: Feel free to switch lines to fit the character personalities, builds, etc.] Sings.) 35 Me starboard side has moved to port! MAGGIE: (Sings.) Me riggin’ is about to fail! GABRIELLA: (Sings.) Me hull a mite bit peeled and pale!
GEORGIA: (Quickly. Sings.) An’ me rudder needs support!
SHAWNA: (Sings.) Me bottom deck is gettin’ wide!
40 JOSEPHINE: (Sings.) Me mid-ship has run aground!
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1 JANE: (Sings.) Me center mast is tall and round! MAGGIE: (Quickly. Sings.) An’ I’m flound’rin’ on me topside!(OTHER PIRATES nod their heads in agreement.) BREE: (Sincere. Sings.) Me mateys, when I look at you, 5 I only see what’s good. Just as any gentleman Who’s worth his salt should.
You’ve got the spirit, got the soul, Of a never-ending breeze. 10 An’ I’m proud to sail with one an’ all As we search the Seven Seas… (Starts slowly.) For a Michael, a Mickey, a Willie or Sal… BREE/OTHER PIRATES: (Pick up tempo as OTHER PIRATES randomly join in. Sing.) A Richard, a Robert, a Louie or Cal, 15 Henry, a Harry, a Phillip or Hal, BREE: (Sings.) American, Spanish, Italian or French! OTHER PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) American, Spanish, Italian or French! ALL: (Sing.) A William, a Walter, a Jimmy or John, 20 A Paddy, a Peter, a Timmy or Don. Thomas, a Kevin, a Danny or Shawn…
BREE: (Sings.) Thar be a man for every wench!
OTHER PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) Thar be a man for every wench!
ALL: (Sing.) A Michael, a Mickey, a Willie or Sal, 25 A Richard, a Robert, a Louie or Cal, Henry, a Harry, a Phillip or Hal, BREE: (Sings.) English, Irish, Dutch or French! OTHER PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) English, Irish, Dutch or French! ALL: (Sing.) A William, a Walter, a Jimmy or John, 30 A Paddy, a Peter, a Timmy or Don. Thomas, a Kevin, a Danny or Shawn, Thar be a man for every wench! BREE: (Sings.) Thar be a man for every wench! ALL: (Sing.) Thar be a man for every wench! (They laugh. Music out.) 35 PATTY: I have an idea! Let’s auction the men off among ourselves! GABRIELLA: And we ain’t got to wait until we get to a port. We can auction ’em off, right here and now. Ye know, we could— GEORGIA: (Interrupts.) How ’bout it, Cap’n? BREE: All right, mateys. We could use a bit o’ fun around here. Bring 40 the men up on deck. (GABRIELLA and MAGGIE EXIT.)
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1 JULIA: (To JANE.) Are we really going to auction off the men? JANE: Aye. JULIA: But why would anyone want to buy a man?
: To clean the head, what else? (PIRATES laugh.) JANE 5 : What’s the head? JULIA MAGGIE: Well, lassie, ye could say ’tis the place needin’ the most scrubbin’! (PIRATES laugh.) PATTY: ’Tis what yer mum would call (Mocks MADAM.) the lavatory. (PIRATES laugh. GABRIELLA and MAGGIE ENTER with JOHN,
10 JACK, GEORGE, COOK, and THOMAS. The PIRATES cheer
and line up the MEN at CENTER.)
: Okay, ladies, gander at the merchandise and prepare to do BREE yer biddin’.
JACK: And what are you auctioning? 15 GEORGIA: (Menacing.) You menfolk, that’s who! JACK: Us men? BREE: Why not? Men have been sellin’ women for years. ’Tis about time the women be sellin’ the men. Don’t you agree, ladies? (PIRATES agree.) Let’s start with this one. (Grabs JOHN and 20 pulls him DOWN CENTER. If possible, he can be put on a crate
or some type of podium.) Now, ladies, take a good look at this strong one.
SHAWNA: We don’t care how he smells. (The PIRATES laugh.)
BREE: Not how he be smellin’, but how the muscles be swellin’! This
25 one could do a fine day’s work.
GEORGIA: Turn ’im around.
: (To JOHN.) You heard the fine lady. Turn about. (JOHN turns BREE around as the PIRATES cheer.) Now, who will start the biddin’ at two gold pieces? (PIRATES start bidding noisily.)
30 JENNINGS: (ENTERS with FERGUS.) Just what is going on here? BREE: We’re auctioning off yer men.
JENNINGS: I won’t have this! Not on my ship. (Stares straight into BREE’S eyes, determined to stop the auction.)
: Your ship? In case ye haven’t noticed, yer men couldn’t MAGGIE 35 hold onto yer ship, and so we be in charge. (There is a moment of tension.)
BREE: (Locks eyes with JENNINGS. After a beat.) Take ’em below.
: What? You said that we could auction off the men. PATTY BREE: Now I say take ’em below deck. And you all go with ’em.
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1 SHAWNA: But what about—? (BREE glares at her.) Aye, Cap’n. (ALL EXIT, except BREE, JENNINGS and FERGUS.) JENNINGS: I appreciate you saving my men from such humiliating treatment. 5 BREE: Ye got what ye wanted this time. Next time, I won’t be so kind. (EXITS RIGHT.) FERGUS: (Taps him on the shoulder.) Captain Jennings. JENNINGS: Yes, Fergus. FERGUS: She’s a strange one, that Captain Bree, isn’t she? 10 JENNINGS: Maybe she’s not so strange after all. FERGUS: What do you mean by that? JENNINGS: Nothing, Fergus. You better get below deck before one of the pirates finds you up here and throws you overboard. FERGUS: Overboard?! (Gulp.) I’ll be going below deck now, Captain. 15 (Rushes OFF RIGHT. JENNINGS EXITS LEFT. BREE ENTERS RIGHT and crosses DOWN LEFT, pensive. He is followed a moment later by JANE and JOSEPHINE who ENTER with MADAM and SAMUEL.) JANE: Captain. Captain. Madam Prescot insists that she be allowed 20 to get some fresh air. BREE: Give ’er ten minutes on deck. And if she gives ye any trouble, throw her overboard. JOSEPHINE: Aye, Cap’n. (BREE EXITS as the OTHER PIRATES ENTER and move UPSTAGE, talking among themselves, 25 carrying on, playing around, having a good time, etc. MADAM and SAMUEL move DOWNSTAGE.)
MADAM: (To SAMUEL. Haughty.) I am going to make sure that Captain Jennings never has a command again. He hasn’t done one thing to get rid of the pirates. There’s not a good man on this 30 ship. (SAMUEL sneezes.) MADAM: Try to sneeze like a lady. Do you want them to hear you and find out that you are a boy? SAMUEL: (Even louder.) A boy? Auntie, I’m a man. MADAM: Keep your voice down. And stand up straight. A lady doesn’t 35 slouch like that. SAMUEL: (Loud.) I’m not a lady. (Lets out a big, manly sneeze. PIRATES look over at them.) MADAM: I said, keep your voice down! I certainly don’t want them to throw you overboard. Now, stop all this about being a man and 40 fix your dress. You’re a mess. (Helps straighten his dress. JULIA
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1 ENTERS, now dressed as a pirate. To JULIA.) Oh, for heavens sake! I insist you take those clothes off at once! JULIA: I’m going to be a pirate. Part of Captain Bree’s Lady Pirates. (This catches JANE’S attention. She eavesdrops.) 5 MADAM: I simply will not allow that. JULIA: All my life I have been doing what you have told me. But not any more. I want to be me, not what you want to make me. I want adventure and excitement, thrills and battles, dangers and— MADAM: (Interrupts.) Those are men’s things. 10 JULIA: Why should they have all the fun? MADAM: Fun, Julia? (Sighs.) That is just the way things are, you silly, silly girl. JULIA: Well, I’m going to change all that. (JANE looks over at JULIA, then EXITS.) 15 MADAM: Oh, for heavens sake. I have a nephew in a dress and a niece running around in pants. What is this world coming to? (EXITS, followed by JOSEPHINE.) SAMUEL: (To JULIA.) You’ve upset Auntie. JULIA: I don’t care. I have finally found where I belong. 20 SAMUEL: I’m telling you as your brother to stop this nonsense and get out of those clothes. JULIA: I don’t have to listen to you. SAMUEL: Yes, you do. I wear the pants in this family. JULIA: (Looks him up and down.) Oh, yeah? Doesn’t look like it to
25 me.
SAMUEL: I’m only wearing this dress because— (He is too loud and is heard by PATTY. Clears his throat, changing to a falsetto.) I like wearing this dress when I go out to get some fresh air. (Takes a deep breath. In his normal voice.) I’ve had enough. (Sneezes.
30 Quickly EXITS, followed by PATTY. JULIA looks out over the AUDIENCE, contemplating. BREE and JANE ENTER and move to her.) JANE: You there, lassie. (JULIA turns.) ’Tis time we put ye to the test. 35 BREE: (Yells to the PIRATES ONSTAGE and also OFF LEFT and RIGHT.) Listen up, me hearties! Round up the captives and bring ’em to me! (Whispers to JULIA, whose reaction is one of uncertainty. MAGGIE, SHAWNA, GEORGIA and OTHER PIRATES EXIT and RE-ENTER with JENNINGS, FERGUS, 40 COOK, THOMAS, JOHN, JACK and GEORGE. PATTY ENTERS
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1 with SAMUEL, JOSEPHINE and GABRIELLA ENTER with MADAM.) Good work. Now, prisoners, our Julia has somethin’ to tell ye. (Hands her sword to JULIA. To CAPTIVES.) Ye must walk the plank, and this here lassie’s gonna make ye do it! (Pushes
5 JULIA forward. CAPTIVES gasp.)
MADAM: Julia, don’t be absurd! A proper lady would never do such a thing. I suggest you stop this nonsense and put that awful weapon down. JOHN: Miss, you don’t even have the strength to hold—
10 JULIA: (Wields the sword towards JOHN.) You, up on the plank!
(Prods JOHN with her sword.) Now! (MUSIC CUE 5: “We’re a
Nasty Lot/The Plank!”)
JOHN: But… but... (JULIA grabs his arm and pushes him up on the
plank. PIRATES get rowdy, yelling “Arrgh” and chanting “Walk the 15 plank!” CAPTIVES mumble fearfully.) PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! Pirates! Cutthroats! Rotten to the core! CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Rotten to the core! PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! 20 Would set ’er mum adrift without an oar!
SAMUEL: (Fearful. Sings.) What shall we do? How will we escape?
FERGUS: (Sarcastic to SAMUEL. Sings.) Why not barter for your dress and cape?!
SAMUEL: (Sings.) We need a plan…
25 MADAM: (Sings. To SAMUEL.) Try to be a man. Captain Jennings, this is simply rot!
PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us!
Vile! Callous! Wicked to the bone!
CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Wicked to the bone! 30 PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! MADAM: (Reference to JULIA. Sings.) What I wouldn’t give to get the girl alone!
JULIA: (Sings. To JOHN.) You’ll walk the plank, better not retreat! You’ll provide a bloody morsel for the sharks to eat. (To the
35 OTHER CAPTIVES.) You’ll walk the board or feel my sword!
SAMUEL: (Holds his stomach; in a high-pitched voice. Sings.) Oh, no, I think I need a chamber pot!
PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us!
Wretched! Dreadful! Bloody as a knife!
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1 CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Bloody as a knife! PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Wouldn’t give a shilling for a pirate’s life! PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! 5 Pirates! Cutthroats! Rotten to the core! CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Rotten to the core!
: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! PIRATES/JULIA SAMUEL: (Hysterical, in a high-pitched voice to MADAM.) Auntie, I can take no more! 10 PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! Savage! Ruthless! Brutal, they suspect! CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Brutal, we suspect! PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) We’re a nasty lot, every single one of us! JENNINGS: (Points to BREE; a threat. Sings.) 15 Your course is set for London’s jails! BREE: (Sings. To JENNINGS.) Captain, dead men tell no tales! (JULIA, with her sword in his back, forces JOHN to walk out onto the plank. The PIRATES force the rest of the CAPTIVES to form a line behind JOHN. As JOHN gets closer and closer to the edge 20 of the plank, JULIA hesitates again and the CHANTING grows louder and more frenzied. JOHN, is a nervous wreck.)
PIRATES: (Chant.) The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank!
The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! 25 The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank! The plank!! (As JOHN is teetering on the edge of the plank, the PIRATES laugh and cheer MUSIC OUT.) 30 JOHN: Nooo! (So scared his whole body is shaking.) BREE: (Aside to JULIA.) Well, lassie, this is yer chance. JULIA: You mean, make him jump? BREE: Aye. JULIA: (Extremely uneasy. Stands and looks at CAPTIVES one by 35 one.) Um… uhh… (After a long silence...) FERGUS: (Looking out at the AUDIENCE, shouts. Points.) Look! Look out there! (Points out over the AUDIENCE.) Sharks! (Panicks.) BREE: Don’t be silly, ye landlubber. Those be dolphins. (SOUND EFFECT: DOLPHIN SOUNDS. ALL look out over the 40 AUDIENCE.)
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1 JANE: (Counts with her finger.) Thar be 13 of ’em. (PIRATES look at BREE.) BREE: (Nods. To JULIA.) Yer prisoners are in luck, lassie. The sightin’ of 13 dolphins is a special omen to us. Thar’ll be no loss o’ life 5 today. (CAPTIVES are relieved.) JANE: The nervous-nellie can come back on deck. JULIA: Prisoner! Come on back! (JOHN scrambles back on deck from plank. CAPTIVES cheer and hug one another. JULIA is relieved but tries to hide it.) 10 BREE: (Loudly.) Mateys! ‘Tis a good sign. I see me lady luck holds true. PIRATES: Aye!
: Send the prisoners below. Prepare a life boat! (Scurry of BREE activity.) This is a perfect day to send off a ransom note.
15 JANE: (To SHAWNA.) Bring up the boy. (SHAWNA EXITS.)
BREE: (To the rest of the PIRATES. Holds up a piece of paper.) We’ll send this note with the cabin boy demanding two thousand pieces o’ gold in exchange for the Prescots’ lives. MAGGIE: Now there will be real loot to divide among us. (The 20 PIRATES cheer.)
MADAM: Surely you aren’t going to send that young boy out in a boat
by himself?
MAGGIE: Would ye rather we send one o’ yer nieces? MADAM: Of course not. But what if he doesn’t make it back to the 25 mainland?
GEORGIA: Then he’ll be fish food, and you’ll be slaves! MADAM: (To PIRATES.) I can see that you all have no heart. JOSEPHINE: Well, actually, that’s not a fair statement— (She is cut off by SHAWNA ENTERING with THOMAS, who is shouting and 30 putting up a good fight, as usual.) THOMAS: Let me go, or I’ll give you the floggin’ of your life! MAGGIE: You better save some of that energy, lad. You’re going to need it. BREE: Bring the boy over here. (SHAWNA brings THOMAS near 35 BREE.) Enough o’ this nonsense, boy, or we’ll throw ye overboard. (THOMAS quiets, but remains angry.) That’s better. We have a job for ye to do.
: I ain’t doin’ nothin’ for you! THOMAS : Oh, I think ye will, because remember, the alternative ain’t GEORGIA 40 very pleasant.
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1 JENNINGS: Do as she says, boy, and don’t cause any trouble, or I will give you the flogging of your life! (THOMAS calms down.) BREE: You will take the lifeboat and deliver this note to the British. THOMAS: I won’t do it. 5 BREE: (Raises her voice.) Me patience is growin’ thin with ye, boy! MADAM: It is obvious that you do not have experience with youth. (Steps forward and pulls THOMAS DOWNSTAGE.) Now, young man, I want you to do as Captain Bree tells you. Take the note and deliver it to any British military commander. (By now, she
10 is far DOWNSTAGE away from the OTHERS, and she begins
whispering to him.) Tell them not to pay the ransom but to send the British fleet.
BREE: What are ye tellin’ ’im?
MADAM: Just wishing him luck.
15 BREE: (Grabs THOMAS back.) All right, lower ’im to the boat. (To THOMAS.) And don’t ye be hornswagglin’ me now, boy. Do as I
told ye. (MAGGIE, GEORGIA and GABRIELLA lower him over the UPSTAGE railing.) CAPTIVES: (Shout over the railing. Ad-lib.) Good luck! Smooth 20 sailing. We know you can do it. We’re counting on you. Etc. BREE: Aye, bon voyage, boy. (To CAPTIVES.) Yer fate is in his hands, so ye best be thinkin’ bright thoughts about his success. PATTY: How long do ye think it’ll take ’im, Cap’n?
BREE: We’ll give ’im 30 days to return. It is almost a full moon tonight,
25 so he’ll have until the next full moon to bring back the ransom, or
else we feed the sharks!
JULIA: (Squeals.) Oh, goodie!
MADAM: (Shouts.) Julia!
BREE: Aye, that’s the spirit, lassie! (JULIA seems proud.) But don’t 30 ye go thinkin’ yer off the hook. (JULIA wilts a little.) Yer friend didn’t walk the plank today, but ye still be needin’ to prove yerself. (To CAPTIVES.) And you! Jest because ye be saved today don’t mean ye ain’t gonna suffer! (CAPTIVES groan.) PATTY: Our captain’s right, thar’ll be some serious deck-swabbin’ 35 today. BREE: (To PATTY.) I thought ye were gonna swab the deck yerself? PATTY: Ye never said I couldn’t delegate. (BREE shrugs. PIRATES grab mops, buckets and rags that are positioned just inside the wings and distribute them to all the CAPTIVES. We see BREE 40 whispering to JULIA.)
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1 JULIA: (Takes a “captain” stance.) All right, you sniveling swine, let’s see you put some elbow grease into these decks. MADAM: I refuse to be thrown in with these men, with these… things! (Refers to the mop.) 5 JULIA: Auntie, it’s called a mop. And it’ll do you some good. (MUSIC CUE 6: “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion.” Wields her sword. Shouts.) Now, swab the decks! (During the following, the CAPTIVES
reluctantly mop and scrub the deck. BIDWELL and MADAM, of course, aren’t trying very hard. [NOTE: For a more comedic 10 scene, you might have the CAPTIVES doing such a poor job that the PIRATES have to show them how to do it and eventually do most of the work themselves.] Sings.) “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion,” It’s me motto, it’s me passion. 15 Swab the deck from fore to aft, Let’s tidy up the craft! ALL PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion.” It’s me motto, it’s me passion.
Hit the deck ’n’ (A shout.) hip, hip!
20 (Sing.) Thar ain’t a finer ship!
BREE: (Sings.) Scuttle the butt an’ jib the boom, Sweep the decks and mop the sloop!
JOSEPHINE: (Sings.) Grab a bucket, grab a broom, Polish up the poop deck! 25 MAGGIE: (Sings.) Pump the bilge ’n’ jiggle the jig, Heave to and haul your bunt! GEORGIA: (Sings.) Quarter the deck and square the rig, We’re pirates on the hunt! PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion,” 30 It’s me motto, it’s me passion. Swab the deck from fore to aft, Let’s tidy up the craft! “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion,” It’s me motto, it’s me passion. 35 Hit the deck ’n’ (A shout.) hip, hip! (Sing.) Thar ain’t a finer ship! GABRIELLA: (Sings.) Mop the brig ’n’ clean the hold, An’ don’t forget the galley! SHAWNA: (Sings.) Dust the silver, dust the gold, 40 An’ then we’ll take a tally! MAGGIE: (Sings.) Sweep the plank an’ scrub the rails, Soap down the crow’s nest!
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1 JANE: (Sings.) Coil the line an’ wash the sails, Begad, we are the best! PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion,” It’s me motto, it’s me passion. 5 Swab the deck from fore to aft, Let’s tidy up the craft! “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion,” It’s me motto, it’s me passion. Hit the deck ’n’ (A shout.) hip, hip! 10 (Sing.) Thar ain’t a finer ship! PATTY: (Passes a mug to JULIA. Sings.) Pick me up and blow me down, Pass the grub and pour the rum! JULIA: (Sings.) Won’t be long till I’ll be foun’, 15 Slippin’, slidin’ on me bum! MADAM: (Speaks; shocked.) Julia, my word! PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) Scuttle the butt an’ jib the boom, Sweep the decks an’ mop the sloop! Grab a bucket, grab a broom, 20 Polish up the poop deck! (The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a DUET.) “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion.” It’s me motto, it’s me passion. Swab the deck from fore to aft, 25 Let’s tidy up the craft! CAPTIVES: (Sing; begrudging.) Work! Work! Oh, my aching back! Work like a swab! I’m ready to crack!
30 (The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a DUET.)
: (Sing.) “Shipshape ‘n’ Bristol Fashion.” PIRATES/JULIA It’s me motto, it’s me passion. Hit the deck ‘n’ (A shout.) hip, hip! (Sing.) Thar ain’t a finer ship! 35 CAPTIVES: (Sing.) I hate the work! Work! Oh, my aching feet! They’ll never let up Until the work’s complete! (The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a DUET.) 40 PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) “Shipshape ’n’ Bristol Fashion.” It’s me motto, it’s me passion.
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1 Swab the deck from fore to aft, Let’s tidy up the craft! CAPTIVES: (Sing; begrudging.) Daily we work! Work! Oh, my muscles ache! 5 Sweat like a hog! I’m ready to break! (The following TWO STANZAS are sung as a DUET.) PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) “Shipshape ‘n’ Bristol Fashion.” It’s me motto, it’s me passion.
10 CAPTIVES: (Sings.) I hate the work! Work! Time to abandon ship! (The following TWO STANZAS are sung separately.) PIRATES/JULIA: (Sings.) Hit the deck ’n’ (A shout.) hip, hip! (Sing.) Thar ain’t a finer ship! 15 CAPTIVES: (Sings.) I’d rather be tied up, To the yard and whipped! (The next TWO STANZAS are sung as a DUET.) PIRATES/JULIA: (Sing.) Hit the deck ’n’ (A shout.) hip, hip! (Sing.) Thar ain’t a finer ship!
20 CAPTIVES: (Sing.) Work! Work! Begad, I hate this ship! (They moan and groan as the PIRATES
and JULIA laugh, whistle, hoot, holler and urge them on. MUSIC
OUT. BLACKOUT.)
End of Scene One
Scene Two
LIGHTS COME UP DIM: That evening. (NOTE: If a BLUE LIGHT is 25 available, all the better.) SHAWNA ENTERS with a lantern for the night watch. Moments later, SAMUEL ENTERS, still dressed as a girl. SHAWNA: Who goes there? (SAMUEL lets out a tremendous sneeze, and his bonnet comes off.) Oh good, it’s you. Come sit next to me. (They move DOWN LEFT to a bench, and he sits near her. She 30 moves closer to him.) Such a beautiful full moon. Did I tell ye I love the moonlight? SAMUEL: Yes, you did. SHAWNA: Oh. (Pause.) Shawna. SAMUEL: What? 35 SHAWNA: Shawna, that’s me name. SAMUEL: That’s a nice name. Mine’s Samuel. SHAWNA: That’s a nice strong name.
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1 SAMUEL: That’s nice of you to say. You must be pretty brave to be a pirate. SHAWNA: Oh, sometimes. Most o’ the time we just sit around waitin’ for another ship to go by. One that we can take, o’ course, like this 5 one. You must have a good life with all the money and power yer family’s got. SAMUEL: Everyone expects me to be just like the rest of my family, but I’m not. I just wish that people would accept me for who I am and not who they think I should be. 10 SHAWNA: That’s a lot to say, considerin’ you’re wearin’ a dress. (They laugh.) SAMUEL: You know, I feel like you understand me better than anyone else I know. SHAWNA: I know what it’s like to not live up to people’s expectations. 15 Why do ye think I be a pirate? SAMUEL: I guess we’re not that different after all. (They snuggle together and look up.) SHAWNA: It’s gettin’ late, you’d better go. Someone’ll be here to take over for me soon, and I don’t want ’em to catch us here together.
20 SAMUEL: Will I get to see you again? SHAWNA: If I have my way, ye will. Now go, before they catch ye and throw ye overboard.
: (Looks fearful.) Right-o! (Quickly EXITS.) SAMUEL SHAWNA: (Looks up at the “moonlight” and sighs. Sits back and 25 falls quickly asleep, perhaps in a comedic position with head tilted back or forward, snoring. After a beat, the MEN ENTER, except
JENNINGS and FERGUS. They hear PIRATES approaching, so they hide. JULIA and PIRATES ENTER hurriedly, except BREE and JANE.)
30 JOSEPHINE: (Worried.) What do we do now? Captain Bree will be mighty upset when she finds out the men have escaped! MAGGIE: (Irritated.) Calm down, lassie, they can’t go far. If ye recall, we be in the middle o’ the ocean! SHAWNA: (Mumbles as she talks in her sleep.) Let’s sail off together,
35 Samuel… (Comes to.) Wha—? What’s the commotion? GABRIELLA: The men have escaped. Well, not really escaped, but— SHAWNA: Men? Whar be the men?
: I let them out. They said they wouldn’t run away. JOSEPHINE 40 GEORGIA: Ye can’t go trustin’ a man, lassie.
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1 JULIA: Have you seen any men up here on deck? SHAWNA: Tonight? PATTY: (Annoyed.) Aye, tonight. During yer watch.
SHAWNA: I seen men only in me dreams, matey.
5 JOSEPHINE: Well, we had better catch ’em and put ’em back in the brig afore Cap’n Bree finds out. I don’t want to be gettin’ into any trouble. (MUSIC CUE 6: “The Chase.” COOK ENTERS, runs UPSTAGE of them and quickly EXITS.) What was that? JULIA: I think it was one of them. Georgia, after him. 10 GEORGIA: (Starts to EXIT, then gives JULIA a double-take for her “captainly” order. Shouts.) Gangway! (EXITS in fierce pursuit.) SHAWNA: (Starts OUT after them.) I’ll be the back-up! (EXITS. JACK quickly ENTERS in the other direction and EXITS.) MAGGIE: Thar be another. I’ll take ’im down! (EXITS after him. 15 GEORGE and another MAN ENTER, cross and EXIT.) JULIA: There’s two more! JOSEPHINE: (Giggles.) Oh, this is fun. (To GABRIELLA.) I’ll get one, you get the other. GABRIELLA: Ready or not, here we come! (They EXIT after them. 20 JOHN ENTERS and quickly scurries OUT.) PATTY: I hope that one’s the Irishman. (EXITS. Another MAN ENTERS, crosses and EXITS.) JULIA: I’ll get ’im! (EXITS after him. This continues until each PIRATE, except JANE and BREE, is pursuing a MAN. You may have MEN 25 double by coming ON, crossing and EXITING several times. We now see the COOK ENTER and hide.) JOSEPHINE: (ENTERS and looks around.) Where did you go? (COOK sneaks up behind her and says “boo.” She screams and chases OUT after him. Another MAN ENTERS and EXITS.
30 SHAWNA ENTERS and, thinking JULIA is one of the men, sneaks up behind her and grabs her.)
SHAWNA: I got ye!
JULIA: You’ve got me. Julia.
: Oh, sorry. SHAWNA 35 JULIA: They’re like rats. You see them and then they’re gone.
SHAWNA: (Excited.) Aye, but we be the cats. (A MAN runs IN and
OUT.) Thar goes one. (EXITS with JULIA. PATTY ENTERS, crosses and sits to catch her breath on the bench DOWN LEFT.)
SAMUEL: (ENTERS from opposite side, still dressed as a girl. Sotto 40 vocce.) Shawna, Shawna. Are you still here? (Spots PATTY and
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1 mistakes her for SHAWNA.) Shawna, I had to come back, I can’t stop thinking about you. (Tries to hug PATTY.) PATTY: Just what do you think you’re doin’, lassie? SAMUEL: (Lets out a little scream and backs up.) You’re not 5 Shawna! PATTY: And you’re not goin’ to live long when I catch you. (SAMUEL screams again and runs OFF. She chases OUT after him. JOSEPHINE runs IN, giggling, now being chased by the COOK. They cross the stage and EXIT. JULIA ENTERS and pauses. 10 JOSEPHINE again ENTERS giggling, crosses and EXITS, followed by a MAN.) JULIA: There’s something wrong with this picture. GEORGE: (ENTERS behind her.) Boo! (JULIA lets out a little scream and starts to run. GEORGE begins to follow her.) 15 JULIA: (Stops.) Wait a minute. I’m supposed to be chasing you. (Turns and chases GEORGE. They EXIT. At this point, the director may add more ENTRANCES and EXITS by the MEN and PIRATES. Finally, ALL the MEN ENTER and gather, looking around.) PIRATES: (ENTER from behind, sneak up on them and grab them. 20 PATTY grabs FERGUS, JOSEPHINE takes the COOK, MAGGIE has JOHN, GABRIELLA has GEORGE, JULIA and GEORGIA
have any EXTRA PRISONER(S) used.) Gotcha! (MUSIC OUT.) MAGGIE: (Grabs JOHN.) Well, this one’s got some muscles!
(BLACKOUT.)
End of Scene Two
Scene Three 25 LIGHTS UP: Thirty days later. ALL except THOMAS, BREE, JANE and JENNINGS are ONSTAGE. It is apparent a shift in the mood on the ship has occurred. The men have all paired off with the pirates as at the end of Scene Two and have become quite chummy. SHAWNA pals around with SAMUEL, although he is still dressed as a girl. If 30 you are using extra PRISONERS, they can pair up with GABRIELLA and JANE. GEORGIA sticks to her vow to stay away from menfolk. MADAM shoots disapproving looks at the couples. JOHN: I must confess I’m not so eager for our time together to come to an end. 35 MAGGIE: (To JOHN.) I could really get used to having you around to do me chores, me little swab-bunny. (They exchange google-eyed looks and sigh.) FERGUS: I’d almost want to stay out here another month, if it weren’t for the horrible food.
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1 COOK: Hey! I done the best I could vith vot I got to cook! JOSEPHINE: And nobody can garnishga nish a rat at better’nbette n you, sugar.suga . (ALL react with disgust.) BREE: (ENTERSE TERS with JANE.) Well, mateys, the wait’swait s just about 5 over.ove . Did ye see that full moon last night? JANE: ‘Tis Tis an omen. One way oro another,anothe we’llwe ll see action today. FERGUS: (Looks out over the AUDIENCE.) It’sIt s the British fleet! eet! TheThe British fleet! eet! (JENNINGS rushes ON.) Off the starboardsta boa d side! (ALL look UPSTAGE over the railing.) No, the starboardsta boa d side! 10 ALL: Oh. (They look out over the AUDIENCE.) JENNINGS: (Pulls out his spyglass.) It’sIt s the British fleet, eet, all all right. right. (The PIRATES look anxious.) MADAM: Well done,do e, Captain Jennings. Now we will find nd outout whatwhat realreal men can do. 15 JENNINGS: The winds area e calm. It will take them some time to boardboa d us. (BREEBREE takes the spyglass from JENNINGS and looks out over the AUDIENCE.) JOHN: (To JACK and GEORGE.) We can’tcan t be caught by the British.B itish. We area e wanted men. 20 JACK: If we’rewe e caught, we’llwe ll be hanged forfo certain.ce tain. GEORGE: I have an idea. (ToTo BREE.) Captain Bree,B ee, my mates and I want to join you and youryou pirates.pi ates. (OTHERS react.) BREE: JoinJo n us? JOHN: We ain’tain t got nothin’nothin to lose—we area e all wanted men.
25 JACK: We want to help you fight ght thethe British.British.
: Please, Captain Bree?B ee? GEORGE : Cap’n,Cap n, we ain’tain t quite in a position to be tuturnin’ nin away an offeoffer JANE o’o help!
: (To the PRISONERS.) Okay, but you defy me, and it will be BREE 30 the plank. (To the PIRATES.) Keep youryou eyes on ’em, em, mateys. Ye e can neverneve trustt ust a man. Jane, take the othersothe s back to ourou ship and preparep epa e to sail. GEORGIA: But we can’tcan t outrunout un ships like that! PATTYPA Y: And even with the men’smen s help, we don’tdon t stand a chance in a
35 battlebatt e against the Royal Navy. JULIA: Hey! I thought pirates were supposed to be brave, fight ght againstaga nst all odds and fearfea nothing.
JANE: Like I told you, lassie, we piratespi ates be brave,b ave, not stupid.
BREE: We must tryt y an’an outsmartoutsma t ’em. em.
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1 SHAWNA: How do ye propose we do that? BREE: Just get back to our old ship and prepare to sail. JANE: Come on, captain’s orders. (There is reluctance, but the PIRATES and the CAPTIVES finally begin to EXIT RIGHT.) 5 BREE: Come on! And the rest of ye, below deck. (ALL EXIT, except BREE and MADAM.) Madam Prescot, I want to make a deal with you. MADAM: Make a deal? With me? BREE: I want ye to save me crew. 10 MADAM: (Laughs.) I will do no such thing! The British fleet will capture you, and you will all be hanged. BREE: We could throw ye overboard before the British ever board. MADAM: Go ahead, but at least I will know that you and your scoundrels will be right behind me. 15 BREE: If ye let me crew go, I will stay here and surrender to the British. That way, yer life will be spared, and you’ll have the pleasure of seein’ me hang.
MADAM: That would be a great pleasure. (Thinks.) I accept your deal. 20 BREE: The ladies’ lives are important to me. Can I trust your word? MADAM: You were the one who offered this deal, Captain. I’m agreeing to it. What about you? BREE: I accept. Thank you. MADAM: Now, what does one wear to a hanging? I’ll have to see 25 what I have. (EXITS LEFT as JENNINGS ENTERS RIGHT.) JENNINGS: What are you planning to do? The British fleet will be here soon. BREE: I have made a deal with Prescot. JENNINGS: A deal?
30 BREE: Aye, Captain. I will give meself up to the British in exchange for me lady pirates bein’ allowed to sail away unharmed. I couldn’t let them all be hanged. JENNINGS: Very noble of you, but have you told them? BREE: I will tell ’em when the time is right. Until then, promise you
35 won’t reveal me plan. JENNINGS: I can’t make that promise.
BREE: You must, don’t you see? They’re like me family. This way, only one will give her life for all the rest… me. Promise me you won’t tell them. Please?
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1 JENNINGS: Tell me, Captain Bree, what is your given name? BREE: Breanna. JENNINGS: Breanna. That is a lovely name. BREE: Promise me you won’t tell the others. 5 JENNINGS: I promise, Breanna. BREE: (She is about to cry and doesn’t want JENNINGS to see her. There is an awkward pause. It’s clear she has feelings for him that she is trying to hide. He moves closer to her and rests his hand on her shoulder. She raises her head to him.) You’re an 10 honorable man, Captain. If only you and I had met under different circumstances. (Quickly EXITS LEFT, emotional.) JENNINGS: (To himself.) Let her sacrifice her life to save her crew’s? That is one promise that I do not intend to keep. MADAM: (ENTERS. If possible, MADAM should be wearing a festive, 15 fancier dress.) Has the fleet arrived yet? JENNINGS: No. Madam Prescot, is it true that you have made a deal with Captain Bree? Her head for the lives of her crew? MADAM: Yes, it’s true. JENNINGS: I must object to this barbaric deal. 20 MADAM: Barbaric? You left me no choice but to act myself. And after my report to the British government, I am sure that you won’t be captain of this ship, or any other, ever again. JENNINGS: I want no harm to come to Captain Bree... or her pirates.
25 MADAM: I will enjoy watching her hang. Contact me when the fleet arrives. (EXITS LEFT. The PIRATES and JULIA ENTER RIGHT
with JOHN, JACK and GEORGE.)
JENNINGS: You’re still aboard? I thought you had left for your ship.
JANE: We couldn’t leave Captain Bree behind. 30 JOSEPHINE: Where is she? JENNINGS: She’s below deck. We must hurry. She has made a deal with Prescot… her life for all of your lives. PATTY: But we won’t leave her here. She’s our captain. JULIA: She’s given me a chance at a new life. I’m prepared to fight 35 for her. (All the PIRATES cheer and agree.) GABRIELLA: We’ll all die fightin’ for her. Well, hopefully we’ll do the fightin’, and they’ll do the dyin’. After all, that’s what pirates do, the fightin’, not the dyin’. At least, that’s what ye hope— JENNINGS: (Interrupts.) Maybe no one will die. I have a plan.
40 GEORGIA: What is it?
38 For preview only 1 JENNINGS: There is no time to explain. Your ship is ready to sail, right? JANE: Right. JENNINGS: And so it will. GABRIELLA: But we can’t just sail away. I mean, if we sail away, then 5 we’d be leavin’ Captain Bree, and we all just agreed— ALL PIRATES: Shut up, Gabby! SHAWNA: We ain’t got much time. We need to listen to Captain Jennings. JENNINGS: Your ship will sail, but not with you aboard. (To SHAWNA.) 10 Hurry, we don’t have much time. I will tell you the rest later. For now, just go below and dress Madam Prescot so she looks like a pirate. We don’t want her to be on board when the British arrive. (SHAWNA and GABRIELLA EXIT RIGHT. To JOHN, JACK and GEORGE.) Men, yesterday you were my prisoners, today I ask
15 you for your help.
JOHN: Sorry, Captain, but our allegiance is now to Captain Bree.
JENNINGS: Who’s about to be hung if we don’t act fast. Are you prepared to fight the British?
JOHN/JACK/GEORGE: Aye, aye, Cap’n. 20 JENNINGS: Good, then prepare for battle. BREE: (ENTERS LEFT.) What’s going on? I told you all to return to our ship. JANE: We have no intentions o’ lettin’ the British hang you, even if it is to save our own lives.
25 BREE: (To JENNINGS.) You promised you wouldn’t tell! JENNINGS: You can never trust a man. Please forgive me. BREE: But now we will all be hanged. JENNINGS: Not without a fight. BREE: I can’t let you do this. The British will brand you a pirate and 30 hang you. JENNINGS: It is a risk that I am willing to take to save you. Your willingness to sacrifice your life for your crew’s safety is the noblest gesture I’ve ever witnessed on these high seas. Besides, Madam Prescot will surely have me hung for not protecting her, 35 so I have little to lose. (SHAWNA, GABRIELLA and MADAM ENTER. MADAM now wears pirate clothes. FERGUS and COOK
also ENTER.)
MADAM: Captain Jennings, these ruffians assaulted me, ripped off
my exquisite gown and dressed me in these awful clothes! I look 40 like a… a common pirate.
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1 JENNINGS: Exactly. (To SHAWNA and GABRIELLA.) Take her to your ship and tie her to the center mast. (MADAM reacts, ad- lib “What?” “This is outrageous!” etc. JENNINGS ignores her, continues quickly giving orders.) Make sure that she is in full view. 5 Then raise the sails and prepare your ship to sail. When you’re finished, cut your ship loose and return here. JOSEPHINE: But won’t the British think that they are pirates and maybe capture the ship? JENNINGS: That is a possibility. 10 JULIA: Well, they deserve it! (ALL are surprised at her statement.) JENNINGS: Take ’em away! (SHAWNA and GABRIELLA EXIT RIGHT with MADAM, who is protesting.) JENNINGS: The rest of you ladies go below deck and put on some of Madam Prescot’s clothes, just in case the British search the ship. 15 MAGGIE: I ain’t puttin’ on no dress! GEORGIA: Me girly days are over! BREE: Just do as they say. (PIRATES EXIT LEFT with JULIA, groaning and mumbling. They should change into dresses that are too big for them so they will be easy to remove quickly. BREE 20 follows them OUT.) FERGUS: (Taps JENNINGS on the shoulder.) Captain? JENNINGS: Yes, Fergus. FERGUS: I’m for helping Captain Bree and her lady pirates. They aren’t so bad... even if they did make me almost walk the plank. 25 JENNINGS: No, they aren’t. COOK: They appreciate my cooking. JENNINGS: But, gentlemen, if the British capture us, they may hang us or just throw us overboard. FERGUS: Do you think that if the British catch us, I could request to 30 be hanged? JENNINGS: I think they will take your request, Fergus. Now, go greet the British as if we’re glad to finally have them here and bring their captain on board. (FERGUS EXITS RIGHT.) All you men on deck, look alive and prepare for what may come. (They go about getting 35 the ship ready.) BREE: (ENTERS LEFT.) I can’t let you do this. You’re risking your life and the lives of your crew just to save mine. JENNINGS: It is a risk we are willing to take. BREE: Just to save my life?
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1 JENNINGS: Yes. It is a choice the men have made for you. (To KAYLA MAY CREW.) Okay, men, remember what I have told you. FERGUS: (ENTERS RIGHT with ADMIRAL MOORE, THOMAS and several OFFICERS. Announces.) Admiral Moore of the British 5 fleet! MOORE: (In a very ‘proper’ British manner. To THOMAS.) Thank you, Thomas. Now, move along back to the ship where you’ll be safe. (THOMAS EXITS RIGHT.) JENNINGS: Admiral Moore, pleased to meet you. Thank you for 10 coming. We’re all glad to see Thomas made it safe and sound. MOORE: Yes. Fortunately, he was able to alert the proper authorities. Captain Jennings, are you and your crew all right? JENNINGS: Why, of course. MOORE: But there was a pirate ship tied to the back of the ship. 15 JENNINGS: Oh, yes, but you frightened them off. The pirates didn’t have much fight in them. MOORE: And you only managed to catch a wench? (Looks closely at BREE then about the ship. He doesn’t seem to believe them.) There doesn’t seem to be much evidence of a battle. 20 JENNINGS: The rest ran before we had a chance. MOORE: Just the same. I will have some of my guards search your ship. JENNINGS: Search my ship?! That wouldn’t be worth your time, Admiral. I can assure that you will find nothing of importance 25 below deck. JANE: (ENTERS. She is dressed in Prescot’s dress but has no shoes on.) Why, you must be the leader of the British fleet. I am Madam Prescot. MOORE: Madam Prescot? You look a bit different. 30 JANE: Have we met? MOORE: Of course. Have you lost weight? JANE: Oh, why, yes, so nice of you to have noticed. Now, I must insist that you take your fleet and capture the pirate ship and that ugly, Captain Bree. 35 MOORE: (Notices that JANE is barefoot.) There is something very strange going on here. (To JENNINGS.) I must have proof that this lady is Madam Prescot. SAMUEL: (ENTERS. He is dressed as a man again. If possible, instead of his boyish outfit, he should be dressed more like a 40 gentleman of the time and is somehow acting more manly now.)
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1 Maybe I can give you the proof you need. (BREE and JANE are shocked to see him as a young man.) JENNINGS: (To BREE.) It’s Samuel. I forgot about him. BREE: Who’s Samuel?
5 SAMUEL: Admiral Moore, it is good to see you again.
MOORE: Samuel Prescot. I didn’t realize that you were also aboard.
SAMUEL: As you can see, I am. And I can assure you that this is my aunt, Madam Prescot.
MOORE: I don’t want to doubt you, but—
10 SAMUEL: (With a new boldness that no one has seen in him before.) Then don’t. And I must ask you to hurry and catch that pirate ship before it gets away. I would be very upset with you if that were to happen. MOORE: Do not worry about that, sir. I have a second ship in pursuit 15 of the pirate ship as we speak. I’m sure that they have been taken care of by now. (SAMUEL and the OTHERS look worried.) SAMUEL: But these pirates are very devious. I insist that you follow to help them out. MOORE: Yes... sir. If you think it is best, Mr. Prescot, then I will leave 20 to assist my other ship. SAMUEL: I do. I will also be sure to pass on to your superiors how helpful you have been.
MOORE: I will take the wench with me. : No! I mean, we would like the pleasure ourselves of JENNINGS 25 turning her over to the authorities when we arrive back in port.
: Why don’t we just hang her now before we help capture the MOORE pirate ship?
: No! ALL JANE: Uh… we mean, we don’t think you have the time. Your other 30 ship may need your immediate assistance.
MOORE: Very well. I will return with a pirate’s head swinging from my mast. (EXITS RIGHT with OFFICERS.) SAMUEL: Good luck, Admiral Moore. (The PIRATES, including JULIA, ENTER LEFT. They wear dresses over their pirate outfits.) 35 JENNINGS: Samuel, thank you for saving all of us. SAMUEL: It was my pleasure. (SHAWNA snuggles up to him. The PIRATES gawk at the COUPLE.)
JENNINGS: You know when they find out what really happened, they
will return.
40 SAMUEL: Then I suggest we get out of here.
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1 JENNINGS: I will give the order. BREE: You give the order? Why, I be the captain o’ this ship. JENNINGS: This is my ship, and I am the captain.
BREE: I captured this ship, so that makes me the captain.
5 : If it weren’t for me, this ship would now be in the hands JENNINGS of the British.
: I didn’t ask fer yer help. BREE : Well, you got it anyway. JENNINGS : We don’t have time to argue about this. SAMUEL 10 : (Looks out over the AUDIENCE.) It’s the British! They’re FERGUS coming back already! Off the starboard side. (ALL rush UPSTAGE
to look.) No, the starboard side!
: Oh. (They rush DOWNSTAGE and look out over the ALL AUDIENCE.)
15 JENNINGS: (Uses his spyglass.) Their ships are faster than I thought. (Hands the spyglass to BREE.) There is no chance we can outrun them. BREE: Then we will have to fight. (EVERYONE cheers.) JENNINGS: Wait, I have a plan. Everyone, gather round. (They ALL 20 gather around JENNINGS, who quickly shares his plan in huddle formation.) FERGUS: (Keeps a lookout.) They’re coming alongside! JENNINGS: Prepare for battle. (EVERYONE takes their places around the ship. MOORE and his OFFICERS ENTER RIGHT.) 25 Admiral Moore, have you caught the pirates so quickly?
MOORE: No, my other ship has signaled me to take your ship. Now, why would they do that?
JENNINGS: Maybe because of this! (Shouts.) Now! (MUSIC CUE 6a: “Fight Music—The British Return.” The KAYLA MAY CREW, 30 SAMUEL and BREE begin to fight. The PIRATES, including JULIA, do not fight but act like ladies, screaming and hiding while the MEN fight. MOORE and his OFFICERS attack with precision, noses in the air, swords striking in unison as indicated on CD and in MUSIC SCORE. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.] Within a short 35 time, MOORE and his OFFICERS have the upper hand and have captured the KAYLA MAY CREW, SAMUEL and BREE. They knock their swords from their hands on the last beat of the music. MUSIC OUT. The PIRATES slowly position themselves around and behind the BRITISH following the fight.) 40 MOORE: Well, Captain Jennings, I thought something was a little fishy. You and your men will hang for this.
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1 FERGUS: (Relieved.) Oh, good. MOORE: And Samuel Prescot, your aunt will be very disappointed to hear of your change of alliance. SAMUEL: I have never been the man my aunt wanted me to be. 5 FERGUS: (Calls out.) It’s the second British ship off the star— (Points towards the AUDIENCE.) —over there! MADAM: (ENTERS RIGHT, still in pirate dress.) Well, Admiral Moore, I see that you have captured the pirates. MOORE: Madam Prescot?
10 MADAM: Yes, it’s me, you fool!
MOORE: Yes, I can see it is.
: Julia, I see that you have finally come to your senses and MADAM put your dress back on.
JULIA: I’m still a pirate.
15 : And Samuel, where is your dress? MADAM : Men don’t wear dresses. SAMUEL MADAM: I’ll deal with both of you for allowing these pirates to tie me up and set me adrift on that bucket of a ship. (Looks around at the PIRATES.) How disgusting to see these pirates in my dresses! 20 MOORE: Pirates? In dresses? MADAM: Yes, these ladies are the pirates. MOORE: (Laughs.) Lady pirates? JENNINGS: Now! (MUSIC CUE 6b: “Fight Music—The Last Encounter.” The PIRATES, including JULIA, pull off the dresses 25 that are over their pirate clothes and take the BRITISH by surprise. FERGUS EXITS RIGHT as the fighting begins. The KAYLA MAY CREW and SAMUEL also start fighting. JENNINGS battles with MOORE. BREE fights another OFFICER. MAGGIE
chases MADAM OFF LEFT. JULIA and SAMUEL also fight
30 against the OFFICERS. The COOK fights with a spatula against
an officer, who can hardly compete. It becomes a wild scene as
the fight goes on with a lot of improvisation and ad-lib. MADAM
runs back IN LEFT, followed IN by MAGGIE. The PIRATES get
the upper hand, helped by the KAYLA MAY CREW, SAMUEL
35 and JULIA. MAGGIE snatches off MADAM’S wig and she EXITS
RIGHT, screaming. The COOK forces the officer he is fighting
OFF RIGHT. MUSIC OUT. Finally, MOORE yells, “Retreat!” and
the BRITISH EXIT LEFT and RIGHT, also jumping overboard
UPSTAGE. As we begin to hear the SPLASHES, we also hear
40 a SCUFFLE OFF RIGHT as MADAM screams, “Watch where
you’re going!” Finally, we hear MADAM scream, followed by a few
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1 more SPLASHES as she presumably goes overboard along with the last of the BRITISH. The PIRATES, JULIA and the KAYLA MAY CREW cheer and wave their swords.) JENNINGS: I think it’s time we get out of here. 5 BREE: But we can’t outrun the British. FERGUS: (ENTERS RIGHT with a saw in his hand.) Oh, I think we can. It will take a while for the British to repair their ships. (Holds up saw. JENNINGS looks through his spyglass out over the AUDIENCE.) 10 JENNINGS: Their center masts are down! BREE: Good job, Fergus. JENNINGS: Let’s get out of here. BREE/JENNINGS: Bring her hard about, full ahead. (They look at each other.) 15 FERGUS: It looks like this ship now has two captains! ALL: Hooray! (MUSIC CUE 6d: “Yo Ho!—Reprise.”) LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho!
: (Sing.) Yo ho! MEN LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! 20 MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho! LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho! LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho! 25 LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho! MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho!
LADIES: (Sing.) Yo ho!
MEN: (Sing.) Yo ho! (Several MEMBERS of the ENSEMBLE begin raising [or ENTER holding] the “Jolly Roger.” The same two
30 dueling PIRATES in combat ENTER RIGHT this time and cross
LEFT, striking swords as indicated in the music. [See MUSIC SCORE.]) ALL: (Sing.) Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! 35 Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! (TWO dueling PIRATES EXIT LEFT, then RE-ENTER with swords sheathed for CURTAIN CALL. ENTIRE COMPANY should be ONSTAGE at this point. LIGHTS UP FULL. ENSEMBLE comes forward for BOWS during the following. Sing to AUDIENCE.) Heave ho, welcome aboard. 40 Dance a jig from rail to rail.
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1 Heave ho, welcome aboard. (A shout.) Avast! (Sing.) Make ready to sail! LADIES: (Sing.) Heave away, me hearties, The wind is blowin’ fair. 5 Lower the main and topsails And catch the salty air. MEN: (Sing.) Heave away, me mateys, ’Tis time we’re underway.
Touch the wind and keep her to,
10 We’re outward bound today.
ALL: (Sing.) Heave ho, welcome aboard. Pipe the pipe, now fiddle-de-dee,
Heave ho, welcome aboard. Take her out to sea.
15 LADIES: (Sing.) We’ll sail from Madagascar To the Caribbean Isles. We’ll dock in ol’ Tortuga And revel for awhile. MEN: (Sing.) There’s gold and silver waiting, 20 If with us you remain, We’ll hoist the “Jolly Roger” And sweep the Spanish Main! ALL: (Sing.) Heave ho, welcome aboard. Beat the drum, now fiddle-de-die! 25 Heave ho, welcome aboard. A pirate rogue am I! LADIES: (Sing.) MEN: (Sing.) Heave ho, welcome aboard. Heave ho! Dance a jig, now fiddle-dee-day! Heave ho! 30 Heave ho, welcome aboard… Heave ho! ALL: (A shout.) Avast! (Sing.) We’re underway! LADIES: (Sing.) MEN: (Sing.) Heave ho, welcome aboard. Heave ho! Dance a jig, now fiddle-dee-day! Heave ho! 35 Heave ho, welcome aboard… Heave ho!
ALL: (A shout.) Avast! (Sing.) We’re underway!
The course is set, the wind is right, They’ve signaled anchor’s aweigh. To one and all we bid ye g’day, 40 Fare-thee-well from the “Kayla May”! (MUSIC OUT.) END OF MUSICAL
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PRODUCTION NOTES
PROPERTIES
ONSTAGE: Rail on port side, small raised platform with stairs
(optional), large crate, benches, plank, mast, sail, barrels and
crates as available, rope coiled near rail, cleaning props such as
mops, buckets and rags.
BROUGHT ON, Scene One: “Jolly Roger” flag (ENSEMBLE) Swords (TWO dueling PIRATES) Spyglass, key to the brig (JENNINGS) Pink dress and bonnet, sword (JULIA) Swords or optional brooms, mops, buckets, pots, pans, etc. (FERGUS, THOMAS, SAMUEL) Swords (PIRATES) Gagging device (MAGGIE) Pretty handkerchief (SAMUEL) Note (BREE) BROUGHT ON, Scene Two: Note (BREE) Lantern (SHAWNA)
BROUGHT ON, Scene Three: Spyglass (JENNINGS)
Saw (FERGUS)
Swords (TWO dueling PIRATES)
SOUND EFFECTS
Crash of thunder, swords clinking, dolphin sounds, splashes. All sound effects are included on the prerecorded music available from the publisher. (NOTE: See “ABOUT THE SWORD FIGHTS” for more details about swords clinking.)
ABOUT THE PLANK The plank can be represented by securing a sturdy board to the edge of the stage with the end extending out toward the audience. There should be a saw-horse type support at the other end of the plank. You may choose to hang a blue table skirting around the edges to cover the supports. Take all safety precautions by having the plank not too far off the ground and sturdy enough to hold the actor’s weight.
ABOUT THE SWORD FIGHTS
During all sword fights, the clinking of swords can be heard on the CD and is also indicated in the music score. Improvised sword fights should lead into carefully choreographed movements when the rhythmic sound effects occur so that swords clink in unison. This can
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create a comic effect, especially during the BRITISH RETURN in Scene Three, in which case MOORE and his OFFICERS adopt a very upright and proper stance as they whip their swords in unison. For more comedic combat during the FIRST ENCOUNTER in Scene One, the director might choose to “arm” the KAYLA MAY CREW and PASSENGERS with found objects such as brooms, mops, buckets, pots and pans, etc. instead of swords. (PIRATES and JENNINGS, however, would use swords, of course.) The director can also make the battle funny by having the MEN crawl through the legs of the PIRATES trying to get away, etc. If you choose the comedic route, delete JENNINGS’ line about breaking open the armory and substitute a line such as, “We’ll fight as best we can with what we have.”
COSTUME SUGGESTIONS All costumes are from the late 1800s. The PIRATES wear a mismatch of tattered odds and ends and are dressed up as male pirates. Their hair should be hidden with pirate hats and/or bandannas when they first storm the ship. After this, it doesn’t matter. All the PIRATES should wear swords in sheaths as part of their costumes. In Scene Three,
PIRATES need to have dresses that they can pull off almost instantly.
CAPTAIN BREE wears a much flashier pirate outfit, much like Captain Hook would wear, with gold braiding on her jacket, a fancy feather in her hat and a more ornate scabbard for her sword. Despite this fanciness, her clothes are still ragged and worn.
MADAM PRESCOT is dressed in a full, rich dress that shows wealth
and importance. She should wear a wig that can be removed in
the final scene. In Scene Three, she might change to a different,
even fancier dress. She also needs pirate garb for this scene. Of course, she should look absolutely ridiculous in it. MADAM PRESCOT should be large; use quilt batting wrapped around the actress.
JULIA is also dressed in a full dress, yet not as rich as Madam Prescot’s.
Towards the end of Scene One, she appears in pirate garb before
returning back to her dress during the final scene.
SAMUEL is dressed in a Lord Fauntleroy outfit (suit, knickers, high knee socks, large bow tie, etc.), making him look much younger than he is. If you can’t pull off the whole outfit, make sure you at least have knickers for him. When dressed as a woman, put him in a pink dress and bonnet (or make sure the dialogue matches the color he is wearing). When he reappears more manly toward the end of Scene Four, have him dressed in more traditional gentleman’s garb of the era.
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CAPTAIN JENNINGS is dressed in an 1800s British Navy captain outfit, complete with a captain’s hat. He always carries a spyglass (telescope) with him. ADMIRAL MOORE is dressed similarly to CAPTAIN JENNINGS but with a more important look by adding feathers to his hat, medals on his coat and white gloves. The OFFICERS are dressed in navy uniforms from the period. FERGUS should be dressed as a ship’s hand, plain clothes, striped shirt, etc. JOHN, JACK and GEORGE should be dressed in torn pants and equally torn and dirty shirts. They are barefoot. THOMAS is dressed the same. COOK is dressed in stained white clothes and a typical chef’s hat and apron.
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Glossary of Pirate Terms Anchor’s aweigh: To raise an anchor off the bottom. Madagascar: Large island of the east coast of South Avast: The command to stop or cease and is used Africa. During the 18th century, it was used as a by seamen as a warning, literally “look out”, or base by pirates attacking shipping in the Red “who goes there?” but often used by pirates as a Sea and the Indian Ocean. It became a pirate greeting, e.g. “Avast thar, ye old seadog.” kingdom and a safe haven for pirates. Begad: By God. Poop deck: The deck that is the furthest and the highest Bilge: The lowest part of the interior hull of a ship back, usually above the Captain’s quarters. below the waterline. It lls up with stinking bilge Scurvy: A de ciency disease which often af icted water or just “bilge.” sailors; it was caused by lack of vitamin C. It Blow me down: A pirate expression of surprise is also used as a derogatory adjective as in “Ye meaning, “Well, I’ll be!” scurvy dogs!” Bootie: Treasure. Scuttlebutt: Old Navy slang term for rumors. Most Brig: A jail aboard ship sailing ships had a large water butt, with a Bring her hard about, full ahead: Turn the ship scuttle from which the crew could take a drink around and go forward as fast as possible. when they wanted. This became a common Crow’s nest: A small platform, sometimes enclosed, place where the crew would meet and talk and near the top of a mast, where a lookout could where rumors were passed on. have a better view when watching for sails of Shipshape and Bristol fashion: Everything stowed other ships or for land. and the ship in every way ready for sea, thus Dead man’s chest: Pirate slang for a cof n. to be completely organized and ready. Derives Dead men tell no tales: Standard pirate excuse for from the port city of Bristol’s reputation for leaving no survivors. ef ciency in the days of sailing ships. Execution dock: A site in London England on Spanish Main: This was the name English the Thames River where many pirates were buccaneers and pirates gave to the northern executed by hanging. Although the rewards coast of South America. By 1550, Spain for piracy could be great, the punishment for controlled the Caribbean Sea, the West convicted pirates was to “dance the hempen jig,” Indies and large areas of the South American the pirate term for being hung. After execution, mainland. Spanish Mainland referred to what the bodies were left until three tides had passed are now Columbia and Venezuela. over them. More notorious pirates were covered Swab: A term of abuse much used by pirates, e.g. “ye with tar and suspended on a gibbet or in irons scurvy swab.” A swab was a piece of dirty rag along the Thames River at Graves Point to warn used for cleaning things. sailors on ingoing and outgoing ships the price Swab the decks: An activity seldom carried out on of mutiny and piracy. a pirate ship, except occasionally by prisoners. Flogging: Punishment by whipping with the “cat of However, on board a naval vessel, this activity nine tails” or just the “cat,” a whip with nine was carried out daily, and for the crew was often leather thongs studded with iron. the only bright spot in an otherwise dull and Head: A ship’s toilet, which usually was no more than demeaning life. a hole cut in the decking at the head or bow of Tortuga: A small island off the north coast of the ship. Hispaniola (a large island in the Caribbean), so Heave to: A nautical expression, to pull in your sails called because of its resemblance to the shell and come to a halt. Also used in pirate slang to of a turtle. Was the site of the rst buccaneer mean, “stop.” settlement in the Caribbean. Haul the bunt: The middle part of a square sail and Touch the wind: Steering the vessel so that it is the line(s) attached to the middle of the foot of slightly turned to the wind to give it forward the sail used to “haul the bunt” up to the center momentum. of the yard. (The spar [pole] at a right angle to Walk the plank: A pirate’s form of execution. The the mast.) victim, usually blind-folded or with bound hands Hornswaggled: cheated or tricked or both, is forced to walk along a plank laid over Huzzah: An exclamation of joy used by sailors of the ship’s side to fall into the water below. This, the nineteenth century; another way of saying however, seems to be a total invention; it rst hooray! appeared in 19th century ction, long after the Jigger: aft (rear) sail on the mizzen mast (the shorter days of piracy. mast behind the main mast). Women of opportunity: Pirates some-times called Jolly Roger: The pirates’ skull-and-crossbones themselves “gentlemen of opportunity” or ag. It was an invitation to surrender, with the “gentlemen of fortune.” There were also famous implication that those who surrendered would pirate women such as Anne Bonny and Mary be treated well. Reade who would have been referred to as Keep her to: Keep the ship steady as she goes. “women of opportunity.” Landlubber: Land lover. A derogatory name used by Wench: An un attering name for a low class, rough pirates to describe all non-seamen. woman.
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Captain Bree and Her Lady Pirates - Set Design
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