Saying The F-Word

Feminism, Indie-Rock Style dana ayotte and jacqueline gullion

Inspirées par le « rock », les Stunts dès clambered up to stage dive, and Dana: We practiced and played 1999 ont été la seule formation musi- for most of my twenties wanted together for another year before we cale à Vancouver de lesbiennes « indie- to be on the stage. Not beside the entered a local battle-of-the-bands rock » jusqu’en 2004. Leur politique de stage smiling up at the front man, called SHiNDiG. The Stunts really participation leur a permis de collaborer not selling merch, not getting into gelled as a band during this time, avec les jeunes femmes et les inspirer à shows on the guest list. I wanted to and we decided that costumes and créer une musique qui utilise le « punk be shouting into the mic, bantering a more performance-art take on rock » comme un exutoire et une façon wittily between songs and sweating the rock show was the direction we de s’exprimer et de résister au sexisme. in the spotlight. wanted to go in. Some of our lyrics Dana: When I joined The Stunts were angry and crass and occasion- The Stunts formed in 1999, even- I had recently started volunteering ally blatantly feminist but we saw tually becoming Vancouver’s only with Vancouver Rape Relief and it was possible to have fun and de- lesbian indie-rock band. Performing Women’s shelter, a collectively run, liver a feminist message at the same together until 2004, this power trio woman-only, anti-violence organi- time. consisted of Dana Ayotte (vocals, zation where I met Jacqueline. We bass), Jacqueline Gullion (guitar, were working on the rape crisis line One of the most entertain- vocals), and Jackie Sidoni (drums). and in the transition house on a ing bands to watch during last The following is a conversation be- weekly basis. As a result we brought year’s SHiNDiG was the even- tween Dana Ayotte and Jacqueline a shared political vision to the band, tual second runner-up, The Gullion. Lyrical excerpts are taken even though when we started out Stunts. This pop-punk trio was from the CD Over It (SOCAN 2003), we didn’t sit down and say, “let’s having a blast on stage and it available at http://www.myspace.com/ form a feminist band.” We were all showed. They were having fun. thestuntsvancouver. tired of the endless number of boy- The crowd was having fun. bands in the scene and agreed the That’s the formula for a great I Wish band would be woman-only. Song- show ten times out of ten. (Dis- She stands in front, she sings writing would be collaborative, and corder Magazine, 246, Novem- along, she knows the words to all everyone would have to push herself ber 2003) the songs. past her own self-consciousness to Band band girlfriend, band write the earnest, cheesy, painful, Dana: Many of our fans simply band girlfriend. truthful, hilarious, and rocking liked our music or loved us and songs about women’s lives we all came out to our shows to support Jacqueline: I discovered indepen- wanted to hear. us. Sometimes these were cowork- dent “alternative” rock upon mov- Jacqueline: After playing together ers from our various jobs, sometimes ing from my small-town home to for about a year, we changed from they were our punk-rock friends. Of- Vancouver at age 19. Since then I an all woman band to an all-lesbian ten they were our rugby teammates have dated independent musicians, band as some members were re- and occasionally our ex-husbands. helped boyfriends lug guitar amps, placed, while others replaced their They played us on their college radio sung along at the front of the stage, boyfriends with lesbian girlfriends. programs and bought our CD, they

VOLUME 25, NUMBERS 3,4 137 artist Nomy Lamm. We organized Rock Out With Your Frock Out in honour of Jacqueline’s 30th birth- day where The Stunts wore tutus dusted off from my early teenage ballet days. Finding ourselves in the final round of SHiNDiG we real- ized that we had come a long way from our first show in Jacqueline’s living room. The costumes we selected were often a parody of women’s roles (Brownies, lady Naval officers, gym teachers) or a mockery of political figures (Stockwell Day) or sometimes they were just off-the-wall (mad sci- The Stunts give their best Stockwell Day impersonations. Hallowe’en, 2000. entists, masked superheroes). The costumes provided another way for us to express our politics in a fun and entertaining way.

Mr. Magic Thumb Was it boyish charm or sneering mirth? You were so smug while she doubted her self-worth. Never knew if she was pretty, ugly, lucky, sulky Now nothing’s funny anymore.

Dana: In the beginning I felt un- certain about how to present our- selves. Should we label our band as feminist? I knew of only one other Dressed in ballet tutus and rocking out with their frocks out, The Stunts perform band at the time that openly identi- at the Marine Club, Vancouver, BC, May 2003. fied as feminist (Le Tigre). Though they inspired me the fear of being invited us to play shows with them Women loved The Stunts. They marginalized as a feminist band (in and came to every show. They stood came to see women on stage, to addition to the easy dismissal of in front, they sang along and they dance instead of standing on the “chick” bands) kept us from doing knew the words to all the songs. fringes of a male mosh pit, laughed so at first. But we had a desire to be Jacqueline: The rocker boyfriend along with our inside lesbo jokes, known as a political band and even- whom I left for my radical lesbian and loved that we were naming tually we made a conscious decision future not only bought me my names in our songs about the men to describe ourselves as such. first guitar, but loaned The Stunts who pained us. his gear for years, and provided Dana: Our shows included a Hal- In the opinion of “indie-rock straight-up advice from one rocker loween party in a metalworking stu- dyke band” and recent SHiN- to another. The men in our lives en- dio and a film opening at Gallery DiG finalists The Stunts, Riot couraged our woman-only project Gachet for Nikola Marin’s Coming Grrrl never really ended.… with practical support and showed and Going to Paris, which featured While their own project is “in- up at shows without sexualizing, the Stunts on the soundtrack. In tentionally a political band,” undermining, interfering with, or other shows we shared the stage they believe that Riot Grrrl patronizing our efforts. We appreci- with crusty punk rock bands and opened up the rock scene for ate this as our due and expect noth- once played a heavy metal house a large spectrum of women in ing less for other women making party in Nelson, B.C. We performed music. As Dana said “There are feminist art. in Victoria with queer performance a lot of newer bands that aren’t

138 CANADIAN WOMAN STUDIES/LES CAHIERS DE LA FEMME as overtly feminist. Their lyrics boobs, three dykes in goofy outfits? Perhaps may not be feminist, and they I know he gets off on my phone it was that sometimes we were pain- may not identify as feminist, voice. fully out of tune (occasionally I hol- but they still came out of that Masturbate to this you bastard, lered “close enough” and launched movement, and they still pro- Masturbate to this you bastard. into a song without tuning). Maybe vide inspiration for women in it was because some of our songs rock music.” (“After the Riot,” Jacqueline: When organizing were overly earnest. Maybe there Discorder Magazine, 238, March shows, we actively sought out oth- was some misconception that by 2003) er women-only and pro-feminist once dressing as Stockwell Day we bands. We were inspired by women had meant to indicate our support Dana: As a political band we in rock who came before us. As a for his controversial right-wing poli- were excited when we got to share band we hoped to inspire young tics (not very likely!). the stage with Submission Hold women to create music and use Dana: In fact it was the radi- and Che: Chapter 127, both local punk rock as an outlet and a way cal feminist politics of Rape Relief bands known for their anti-capital- to resist sexism and express them- that were at the center of contro- ist, antiestablishment politics and selves. versy. The organization’s determi- social justice bent. It became clear nation to choose its own members that we had established ourselves as I see [Riot Grrl] as a way for from among folks born and raised a political band when we were called young women to discover fem- as women, and to operate a wom- upon to play May Day events two inism; a cultural manifestation. en-only transition house and rape years running, were asked to play a I was 19 years old in 1991, and crisis center had come under fire. fundraiser for Environmental Youth I was like, “Kathleen Hanna, (To learn more about this political Alliance, and when we performed at where have you been all my herstory visit www.rapereliefshelter. Under the Volcano, a local political life?” She’s still around, play- bc.ca/issues.htm.) As longtime col- music festival. ing in Le Tigre and being very lective members of Vancouver Rape A particular joy for me was the feminist, so I don’t think Riot Relief we were considered to be rep- collaborative and supportive way of Grrrll died. What happened to resentatives of the organization in working together that the Stunts de- Riot Grrrl was the same thing the communities we moved in, and veloped. With Jacqueline and I par- that happened to feminism. rightly so. We were active partici- ticipating in a feminist collective, It was undermined, attacked, pants in the praxis of feminist anti- this provided us with the confidence and has moved on. (“After the violence work: contributing to the and self-assurance to write and per- Riot,” Discorder Magazine, no. political theory of rape and feminist form feminist lyrics and to present 238, March 2003) organizing by doing the practical, ourselves openly as a feminist indie- everyday work required to radically rock dyke band. It also allowed us Anthem change the world by ending rape. So, to collaborate from a place of shared Well we all make judgments, sis- when Rape Relief’s political strate- politics, and gave us a means of ter. You just won’t say yours out gies were publicly scrutinized, The communicating ideas with mutual loud. Stunts felt the impact as a band. respect. All of us contributed to the Instead you leave me all alone to Jacqueline: We came to learn (sec- writing of the music and shared the fight your finger pointing crowd. ond or third hand, by email, or via credit for it equally. lovers and friends who’d had their Hearing women’s stories on the Jacqueline: Playing rock shows ears talked off behind our backs) crisis line and in the transition house with The Stunts were some of the that some Vancouver queerpunks often made us angry and inspired us most fun and zany moments of my felt that The Stunts created an “un- to continue writing strong, feminist adult life. Two out of three of us safe and uninclusive environment.” lyrics. Occasionally we were accused were organized radical feminist ac- And they didn’t mean from our of being “too angry,” but we knew tivists, so we were a lightening rod hazardous pyrotechnics or fog ma- that our anger was justified, and in a climate of anti-feminist back- chine. I came to wish that we did what better outlet than punk rock? lash. The Stunts, the only all-lesbian have some pyrotechnics to blast indie-rock band in Vancouver, were through the fog of backlash against Read My Lips banned from playing several queer- our feminist art and activism. My boss’ name is Justin, punk shows. Queerpunk bands plan- Dana: After four years of working Sexual harasser and cretin. ning to play with us were threatened on the crisis line, hearing the word Masturbate to this you bastard, with boycotts of their shows if The and concept of safety misused in this Masturbate to this you bastard. Stunts shared the bill. So, you might way was infuriating. Having talked I think he looks at my little ask, what was so threatening about to women who genuinely and liter-

VOLUME 25, NUMBERS 3,4 139 ally were fearing for their lives at the the transition house. All the while Jacqueline: As a feminist rape crisis hands of battering men and rapists, hearing criticism about our politics worker I have had many opportuni- the idea that the presence of two from people who were busy forming ties to speak publicly about my own feminist anti-violence workers at a so-called “radical” knitting circles analysis of the status of women and rock show would make anyone un- or organizing political rock shows to talk with other women about our safe was ridiculous. It seemed to be which included burlesque dancers. lives. However, the magical thing frequently repeated as an easy way Jacqueline: As a woman who about pop-punk feminist music like to write us off and keep us out. walked purposefully but nervously that made by the Stunts was a chance Jacqueline: Half-expecting beer away from heterosexual privilege to to use the distortion and amplifica- bottles to be hurled at us onstage, live as an out lesbian, it stung to feel tion to speak clearly, personally, and we kept on rockin’ by writing letters like an outlaw in the so-called queer with a sense of humor about the to student papers, posting to local community. As a wannabe punk heartbreak, embarrassment, hilar- email list serves, and saying that rocker, attached to punk ethics of ity, and the mundane of our own yep, we personally were political or- community-based DIY art and co- and our women friends’ lives. The ganizers at Vancouver Rape Relief, operation, it rankled to be on the Stunts was my first experience as a and please feel free to call or email business end of a boycott. maker of political art, and I promise us to set up a time for discussion or Dana: Jackie was the only one myself it won’t be the last. to share your point of view. of us who wasn’t working at Rape Dana: The Stunts developed my Relief at that time, but she loyally confidence as a musician and al- As a feminist, dyke-rock band, backed us up, often to her friends lowed me to do something I never The Stunts were amazed to who disagreed with our position on imagined possible - to play in a learn that we were being cen- women-only space. While she con- rock band! It is my hope that we sored from the Out on Cam- tinued to get jabs about her band have inspired other women to use pus events this week at SFU.… mates, The Stunts hotline never rang feminist art as a means of resistance. As feminists and lesbians we with invitations to star on a float in With the simple tools of the indie- support this [event] and were the queer pride parade. Neither did rock art form, we could name the excited at the opportunity to The Stunts’ hotmail account burn names of those who had wronged participate. However, by bar- up with sincere inquiries or persua- us or we could recollect the many ring us from playing at Friday’s sive arguments about woman-only ways machismo had frustrated us or show, it’s clear that the Out rape crisis centres, dyke-only bands, made love affairs go wrong. Best of on Campus collective is...pro- queer politics, or our next costume all, we could be boldly feminist and moting that we fight amongst plan. outspokenly political, and have fun ourselves rather than providing Jacqueline: The fog eventually did doing it. a space where healthy and fair clear: The Stunts continued with political debate can take place. our costume shtick, improved our Dana is a mechanical engineer, musi- The Stunts … like to play tuning, wrote catchy new songs call- cian, artist, writer and radical femi- rock shows and we use these ing for revolutionary social change, nist living in Vancouver. Her art was opportunities to show what it still fantasized over pyrotechnics recently shown at the Vancouver Pub- means to be fun, feminist and and released a CD. Dana and I lic Library on the National Day of out lesbians...we encourage continued as volunteers Vancouver Remembrance and Action on Violence you to come check us out and Rape Relief crisis line. Vancouver’s Against Women. On December 6th see for yourself what we’re all fractious queerpunk scene dissipat- she also performed an original mono- about. We hope you might even ed, with some of the loudest mouths logue as part of the art and activism enjoy the music! (The Peak, vol. left gaping as women deserted the troupe Herd of Women. In her spare 9, no. 113, March 3, 2003) sexist men in their queer bands to time she enjoys tap dancing and mak- start dyke-only, woman-only, or ing Ukranian pysanky. Dana: I think one of the greatest solo-woman projects. frustrations for Jacqueline and I was Jacqueline Gullion (Jax) is a radical that we felt we were working very Over It feminist, a frontline antirape activ- hard as activists, fighting against You say you feel nothing these ist with Vancouver Rape Relief and male violence, standing up for wom- days, Women’s shelter, and corporate hack. en in court or with the police, tak- Sharp hurt but my choice re- Since The Stunts, she has played french ing calls in the middle of the night mains. horn in a community band and aims from women who couldn’t sleep due I’m starting, choosing, I know to start a feminist marching band. to their anxiety caused by a violent now. attack or helping to make supper in I’m over it.

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