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TICKETS | INFO TRANSPARENTPRODUCTIONS.COM 2 REFRESHED | October 2015 contents FEATURES 6 Stopping the pain 6 Domestic violence victiim is silent no more 12 Shedding your freak From control to confi dence 14 Loving the foreigner Seeing refugees through God’s eyes 19 Fall fun San Diego COLUMNS 14 5 Dean Nelson | in plain sight Big lesson in serving small 23 Mark Larson | on the mark Embrace the inner boomer — or not 24 Jon Huckins | perspective To my four kids, from Dad 25 Daniel Jenkins | reality check Living in the moment 27 26 Janice Thompson | on the money Practically speaking… Pulling the trigger on retirement 27 Michael Foust | purposeful parenting 3 things to tell your kids about ‘scary monsters’ 28 Nate Landis | inspired living Finding rest in the rush 30 Joanne Brokaw | that’s life! Confessions of an offi ce supply addict DEPARTMENTS 16 Community news 24 20 Tunes 22 Outtakes 23 26 October 2015 | REFRESHED 3 The Solution to your Pipe Problems Download a digital version WATER GAS SEWER YOUR of Refreshed magazine for COMPLETE Accurate Detection Repiping & Drains “One of San Diego PLUMBING convenient viewing on your Sewer Camera Slab Leak Repairs County’s Best Equipped SERVICE favorite digital device. Structural Repair Moisture Intrusion and Most Experienced Epoxy Fix Leaks Water Damage Restoration Leak Detectors” Thermal Image Camera Emergencies: Water-Fire-Mold refreshedmag.com Hot & Cold Water www.brinksservices.net 858-926-5543 We support Youth Ministries EMERGENCY SERVICES DIVISION | PLUMBING DIVISION | PIPE LINING DIVISION | RESTORATION DIVISION The tree of knowledge begins with literacy Literacy First Charter Schools VOLUME 2 | NUMBER 10 PUBLISHERS Lamar & Theresa Keener NEW FREEDOM ACADEMY EDITOR Lori Arnold THIS FALL Independent Study Program PROOFREADER Lis Trouten for Grades K-5 COVER PHOTO Sarah Tolson Photography s Individualized Academic Program (IAP) AD SALES Lamar Keener s Curriculum and resources provided CONTRIBUTORS Joanne Brokaw, Michael Foust, Jon Huckins, Daniel Jenkins, Mark Larson, Carol LeBeau, s Report attendance, turn in projects, Dean Nelson, Janice Thompson track progress online ADVISORY BOARD Mark Rasche, Nelson Keener, s Progress folders & quarterly Carl Schreiber, Brandon Ruby portfolios Copyright © 2015 Selah Media Group s Resource lab for help with lessons, planning, mentoring, Refreshed is an in de pen dent, faith-based magazine pub lished monthly by Selah Media Group. It is distributed mini-classes in bulk, free of charge, to hundreds of locations s Standards-based report cards throughout San Diego County. For a 1-year mail subscription, send $24.95 to the address ■ Every Freedom family will take ownership of their learning experience below or visit refreshedmag.com. ■ Every Freedom student will be prepared to be an innovative leader Refreshed welcomes story ideas. All unsolicited material is ■ Every Freedom student will be prepared to be a life-long learner subject to approval of the publishers and is not returned. Viewpoints expressed in Refreshed are those of their Call (619) 579-7233 for enrollment information respective writers, and are not necessarily held by the publishers. Brought to you by Literacy First Charter Schools Reasonable effort is made to screen advertisers, but no Learn more at www.lfcsinc.org endorsement of the publishers is implied or should be inferred. The publishers can accept no responsibility for the products or services offered through ad ver tise ments. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any ad ver tis ing. Literacy First School locations ADDRESS ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: Primary Academy (K-3) Liberty Academy (K-6) Junior Academy (4-8) Liberty Charter High P. O. Box 2606, El Cajon, CA 92021 799 E. Washington Ave. 698 W. Main St. 1012 E. Bradley Ave. School (9-12) E-MAIL [email protected] El Cajon, CA 92020 El Cajon, CA 92020 El Cajon, CA 92021 8425 Palm St. (619) 579-7232 (619) 579-7233 (619) 596-5665 Lemon Grove, CA 91945 PHONE/FAX (619) 567-7811 (619) 668-2131 AD SALES (619) 567-7811 4 REFRESHED | October 2015 in plain sight DEAN NELSON Big lesson in serving small A stethoscope can put a swagger in lar room fi lled with emaciated anyone’s walk. I don’t know if all doc- women whose vacant eyes stared, tors feel important when they have one unseeing. But again they passed around their necks, but I know that through that room without stop- some do. ping. My friend Gary had his around his “Could there be a needier neck several years ago when he reported place than this?” he wondered, for duty at a facility run by Mother Tere- his mind reviewing the more sa and the Sisters of Charity in Kolkata serious diseases he might en- (formerly Calcutta), India. counter. He arrived at her place early one They entered a primitive morning and asked where he could be kitchen where a simple lunch of the most useful to her that day. He was rice was being prepared over an wearing a nice shirt, nice slacks, a sport open fi re. coat, and his stethoscope. She told him “Of course,” he thought. he was needed at a nearby building “They’re going to serve me lunch called the House of the Dying Desti- fi rst.” PHOTO BY BRITTANY KEENER SIEBRAND KEENER BRITTANY BY PHOTO tutes. This is where people go to die But they walked through the Home for the Dying Destitutes, a hospice for the sick, when they have no one to care for them. kitchen, out the back door, and destitute and the dying, established by Mother Teresa in Most of the people there were dying of into the narrow alley. Sister Kalighat, Kolkata, India. treatable diseases, but they didn’t have Priscilla pointed to a very large access to proper care. pile of garbage. The smell was gag- wasted. Armed with his medical knowledge, inducing. Just as he was about to say good bye maybe he would even be able to put this “We need you to take this garbage to Sister Priscilla, he saw a hand-let- place out of business, he thought. down the street to the dump,” she said, tered sign above the door, with Mother “Soon this place will have a new sign handing him two buckets and a shovel. Teresa’s words: “We can do no great that will say ‘The House of Hope for the “The dump is several blocks down the things, only small things with great Living’ instead of ‘The House of the Dy- street on the right. You can’t miss it.” love.” ing Destitutes,’” he told me. With a nod and a slight smile she was Gary said his heart melted when he He knew he was going to make a dif- gone. saw that sign. All of his degrees, his cer- ference. His mind began to review his Recovering from a momentary tainty, his credentials, his stethoscope, medical training. This was a place that stunned silence, Gary began to wonder maybe even his arrogance, didn’t mat- needed him. what was happening. Didn’t they get the ter. He introduced himself to Sister Pris- fact that he was a doctor? “Mother Teresa and Sister Priscilla cilla, who was in charge of the house. He put his stethoscope in his pocket pierced the armor I worked so long to “Follow me, please,” she said in her and attacked the pile. He fi lled the construct,” he told me. “Serving others soft, British accent. buckets and headed down the street. He is about attitude and availability to do He put his stethoscope around his slung the contents onto the dump and whatever is needed—with love.” neck and they entered the men’s ward— went back for the next load. By mid- a large, open room with rows of cots afternoon he was fi nished. He set down Dean Nelson directs the cradling what could only be described as the buckets and shovel and headed journalism program at skeletons with skin on them. Some were back through the kitchen, the women’s Point Loma Nazarene tossing in pain, too weak to fi ght their ward, the men’s ward—places where he University in San Diego. affl ictions or even to eat. thought his gifts could have been bet- His book about seeing To Gary’s surprise, they proceeded ter used. He was drenched, and smelled God in everyday life is quickly through that ward and on to the much like the garbage heap. He was a “God Hides in Plain Sight: next—the women’s ward. It was a simi- little bothered that his talents had been How to See the Sacred in a Chaotic World.” October 2015 | REFRESHED 5 STOPPING THE PAIN Domestic violence victim is silent no more story by LORI ARNOLD photos by SARAH TOLSON essica Yaffa was fi nally turning her money for her. life around. She had left a years-long “When I arrived and he opened the Jabusive relationship after her former door I could immediately smell alcohol on husband, Trent*, punched their son in the his breath,” Yaffa said. “This was the fi rst face while she held the young child in her indicator there could be a problem. I also arms. She had a new job, visiting clients in learned that no one else was home, which the fi eld. It offered security and freedom was a second red fl ag.” from a desk. And, after not receiving child There was small talk as he joked with support from her ex, she was pleasantly her about her new job. surprised when he called to tell her he had “Then he grabbed me in a bear hug *Name changed 6 REFRESHED | October 2015 and wouldn’t let go,” she said.