The WALRUS The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. - Lewis Carroll

Vol LXVIII No. 3 St. Sebastian’s School December 2014 Curriculum Night Captures Attention of All By Jackson McKeigue ‘17 time. So quick thanks to Mr. Rest for room come to light in other classes Curriculum night has al- getting it all done on time this year! as well, such as “in English classes”, ways been the deal closer to the ap- The next session was the Sci- said Johnny Ryan. The religion panel plicants still apprehensive to apply to ence Presentations. Instead of having never fails to grab the attention of the Seb's. The Open House is typically Mr. Wilbur speak for the entirety of the families due to its reputation as be- the event that sparks many appli- time period, Mr. Wilbur opened, gave a ing one of the few religion programs cants curiosity of the school, but Cur- brief introduction to the program, and offered by educational institutions. riculum night seals the deal. This sent the groups off to explore three of The last of the four sta- year’s event was not much different. the classrooms filled with different bits tions was the “Writing and Speaking” The night began as all of the of all sciences taught at Seb’s. One of panel, headed by Mr. Lynch. In this families entered into Ward Hall and the three rooms was filled with Robot- panel spoke John O’Leary ’14, Billy sat down awaiting the commencement ics gear, all controlled by Shawn Lynch McCarthy ’15, Edgar Escobar ’15 and of the night. The night began with Fr. ’15. Lynchie explained to the families Nate Kocho ’19. O’Leary presented Arens giving an eloquent opening how Seb’s robotics programs ranged on how Seb’s’ writing program helped prayer, followed by an introduction to from full-scale international robotic him become one of the lead writers in the Seb's Fine Arts program by means competitions to the Rube Goldberg his classes at Harvard to the point of of a glimpse at the Drama department. club and many others. As Lynchie en- being able to edit fellow classmates In contrast to past years, the night be- tertained the kids by playing around papers. Then Billy and Edgar both gan with an introduction to the arts pro- with the robots, Mrs. Colton’s room spoke about, similar to John, how the grams by showing Mac Morris' scene was open for demonstrations relating writing program has helped them grow in the school play, Guys and Dolls, to physics and middle-school sciences. to become successful writers. Further- oppose to the typical musical perfor- The families watched as Matt Rocco more, Edgar mentioned how before mance by Marlon Matthews ‘14. The ’15, enjoyed himself with the “mouse- he came to Seb’s he wasn’t much of Fine Arts presentation was followed by trap cars” surrounded by multiple a public speaker, but with help from Headmaster Burke’s welcoming speech other exhibits run by fellow students. the speaking program he has been and opening remarks. As each family In the third room, Mrs. Bianci’s room, able to develop and become a strong seemed eager to begin the tour of the there were several experiments being speaker and even one of the leaders of different panels, it could also be seen performed. Experiments include mul- the Debate Team. Finally, Nate read tiple dissections of a sheep’s heart or that it was going to be an exciting night. his chapel speech to the crowd to cap Top: The Arrowheads belt out jolly Christmas Carols at the Auc- One of the four sessions that brain, and a cow’s eyeball. There were off the night. As Mr. Lynch concluded the tour groups would venture to, was many other experiments explaining the presentations, the families were tion; Bottom: Mr. O’ Rourke, P’15, merrily bids on an item. the “Mathematical Reasoning” pre- evaporation and condensation of wa- sent out the door either to their cars, sentation, held in the McKinley room. ter, as well as a presentation on elec- or to Ward Hall for a few cookies. Once the group entered the Silent trolysis. All three rooms, all equally as As the families either left Parents’ Generosity In Reading Room, Connor Wiik ‘11, Will crowded, were definitely a highlight or enjoyed the snacks, there was an D’Orsi ‘15, Edosa Onaiwu ‘15, and of the night for many of the families. energy buzzing through the crowds Connor Bertch ’19 stood behind Mr. The following presenta- of people. When asked what she tion was in the Chapel, as Fr. Arens Full Force at Auction Rest as he addressed the crowd. The thought about the Curriculum Night, since the available items, includ- discussed Seb’s’ “Faith and Reason” one parent responded, “Out of all of By Alex Gainey ‘18 families were enticed as they learned ing a signed New England Patriots about Seb’s’ flexible and strong math program. After Fr. Arens opened with the private school Admissions events department. The families were espe- his outlook on the religion department, that I have been too, this has been, Every December, parents, football, St. Sebastian’s kayaks, and cially interested when Connor Wiik he introduced the four speakers. All of by far, the most informative and in- students, and teachers descend on the different food and catering packages, mentioned the range of difficulties of the students/ex-student (Mike Petro teresting because of the contribu- annual St. Sebastian’s School Christ- were all outstanding. All of these mathematic subjects offered by the ’13, John Ryan ’15, Patrick Barron tions from the students”. In conclu- mas Auction at the Seaport Hotel in items’ bids will truly aid the school. school. In past years, the Mathematic ’19, Liam Gorman ‘19) spoke about sion, Curriculum night was another Boston. The proceeds of the event go After talking to some of the how religion has changed their experi- Session has always been the presen- success as many smiling faces left towards the support of the school, fi- attending families, all I heard were ences inside and out of the classroom. the St. Sebastian’s School that night. tation that put the tours off their time nancial aid, and faculty development. positive things. Mr. Nicholas Bol- schedule. This year was different, Many of the speeches touched on for the session regularly finished on how discussions in the religion class- The night always provides a fun and las and Mrs. Teresa Bollas, parents entertaining time for anyone who at- of freshmen Michael Bollas, told me tends. this when I asked them about the auc- The 2014 edition of the tion, “I was impressed with the entire event continued on with the excit- event. From the food served to the ing tradition of the past, with over students participating and the orga- 400 parents and different memories nization of the event. We also got to of the St. Sebastian’s community in meet some very interesting new peo- attendance. The night was filled with ple.” These words serve as the per- fantastic food, a silent auction, and fect example of the event and what it a live auction that had some pretty stands for. incredible items available. Bidding Overall, St. Sebastian’s ran for some of these items was fierce a very solid event and set the bar high for future events.

Seniors Jack Adams and Tyler Wiik demostrate the opportunities for fun and learning in the physics classroom on Curriculum Night Christian Apologist Matt Fradd

Speaks to Community Australian Matt Fradd brought an important message to the By Sam Gordon ‘17 and to how this entertainment, consid- times the best option for combating community in a way that made his topic much less awkward. ered ‘adult’ in our society, could not this issue is to find an outlet that offers raphy decreases the volume of one’s control these feelings, and not trap Stevie Karol ‘17 be more childish. He even shared a kind of love other than the artificial brain. Fradd’s other evidence and ourselves in the pornographic web his eye-opening personal story, as he attraction between a pixelated woman supporting claims more than made up woven by societal lust. Amongst the touchiest and shifted from almost being an atheist and a kid in his basement. Divine for this minor flaw. But it did, coinci- In the end, Matt Fradd’s most uncomfortable subjects up for and going to ‘gentlemen’s clubs’ to love, for example, can help us realize dentally, relate to a larger topic that he speech highlighted the dangers of debate, pornography is relatively un- being an advocate against these prac- that true romance, the romance that spoke about. He told us how we are pornographic film and photos, and charted territory. People are either tices. doesn’t destroy our innocence and brought up in a world where viewing informed the St. Sebastian’s stu- ashamed to talk about it or don’t even Matt’s story started when he lower our morals, can be sought once porn is accepted, even welcomed as a dents how to avoid falling into the want to think about it. Matt Fradd not was eight. He found a center-fold por- a sincere connection between a man rite of passage into manhood. Every- ruthless grip of these poisonous only ventured into this territory, but nographic photo in a shed, and, over- and woman is made. He even told us thing we are told to believe, however, and destructive industries. Through he did it with an Australian accent and time, became more and more interest- that premarital chastity is an effective is not always true, as with his state- personal experiences with his fam- a sense of humor that cut through the ed in pornography, until it became an way for men to keep themselves re- ment about porn decreasing the size of ily, interviews with members of the awkward post-pubescent tone of Ward addiction. As he pointed out, we are strained. our brains. industry, and an intelligent and eye- Hall on Monday, December 8th. born into an over-sexualized society. While the logical, moral, and Perhaps his most persuasive opening view on pornography as a Fradd started humorously, We must first understand that pornog- religious reasoning behind Fradd’s argument, Matt explained to the stu- whole, Fradd offered useful insight moving into the subject of porn after raphy is not a healthy answer for our views was sound, his reasoning be- dent body the difference between por- for the young, growing men of St. we became accustomed to his time- natural sexuality, but a weak attempt hind the detrimental health effects of nography, and the true, consensual, Sebastian’s. Using a witty sense less accent. Matt, an expert on the at satisfying selfish needs. From ac- viewing pornography was not as be- love for a woman. He referred back of humor and a relatable voice, subject of porn and a recovering ad- cepting these truths, one can realize lievable. Matt cited a small German to his personal story throughout his Fradd’s facetious, yet straightfor- dict, quickly made us realize that he that objectifying women due to their Study that found a hardly significant speech, and his relatability offered a ward, voice sparked conversation, was not an extremist. Rather, he gave appearance is not only insincere and correlation between excessive view- perspective that many didn’t expect. a large step in the largely avoided us a list of reasons why porn is de- superficial, but it detracts from future ing of porn to a decrease in the capac- Matt told us that there is nothing more topic and perhaps the most impor- structive, not just to the viewer, but to relationships. ity of one’s brain. Although this study beautiful than a woman. People don’t tant result from his speech. The everyone involved in the corrupt and Matt overcame his stub- proves that porn raises our neurologi- hide pictures of beautiful waterfalls, members of the St. Sebastian’s harmful industry. bornness regarding the ramifications cal standards of pleasure, according as he explained, they hide pictures community would like to thank Matt’s reasoning ranged of viewing pornography by involving to the U.S. National Library of Medi- of women. He wasn’t there to tell us Mr. Matt Fradd for speaking with from the negative effects of mastur- himself in the Church and looking to cine, it does not provide any convinc- never to have sex, or to never have us and offering his experience and bation and porn on the human body God for help. He suggested that some- ing evidence that watching pornog- feelings for a female, but rather to insight on this important topic. NEWS SPORTS

Christmas Is Right JV Hockey Lights Does Not Appear in Photo: Around the Corner It Up On the Ice Page 3 The Spanish Conversion Club Page 8 Page 2 THE WALRUS December 2014 Mousetrap Car MADNESS!!!!!!!! By Greg Dematteo ‘16 move. The car does not simply have some lucky ones have already built a QUOTES of to go four meters, but it has to stop car that functions perfectly (a better and Jimmy Ryan ‘16 exactly at the four meter mark. The word might be sufficiently), meeting Ah, the Christmas season. only thing powering the car can be a all required goals. How they do it we Snowflakes floating on a gentle icy single unmodified mousetrap. Phys- will never know, as the secret to the breeze, the jingle jangle of tiny bells, ics students receive the assignment perfect non-kit-built car is kept by all the MONTH the Chemis-tree lighting up the Sci- to build either a slow or a fast car. who achieve the highly sought after ence hallway. Nothing could be bet- The fast cars have to travel the four success. ter than this idyllic holiday season. meters in as short a time as possible, To get better insight into the mag- “So you watched ‘Rudolph the Red- But what’s that piercing the pleasant ideally around one and a half seconds. nitude of this project, we decided to air? The constant whap! of metal on Slow cars, on the other hand, must get some input from students. A few Nosed Reindeer’ on Saturday night... wood, the stretch and rip of duct tape, move the required four meters in at anonymous juniors responded to our the sighs of relief and cries of despair least twenty-two and a half seconds. questions with “This has nothing to Sounds like a Will D’Orsi kind of from many students lining the hall- These times may not seem very long do with Physics,” “I feel like I’m in way. This is mousetrap car season. or short, but they are. Once the car an engineering class,” “Pass me that Saturday night.” Every December, the starts moving (or doesn’t in the case coffee,” “Shoulda packed a sleeping mousetrap car consumes the lives of of many students), you realize just bag.” Wow, really insightful into the -Mr. Ferguson, hapless juniors and a few even more how precious and elusive each second mind of students struggling to finish a unlucky seniors. Rather than wish- is. Plus, there is more to the car than project. We also had a short interview upon hearing that his class watched ing for a new bike or a Red Rider BB just distance and time. Students must with Mr. Wilbur that went as follows: gun this Christmas, these students are complete an engineering notebook de- the 50th anniversary of Rudolph pleading with the big man upstairs to tailing their various designs and trials. Greg DeMatteo: So, Mr. Wilbur, any get a good grade on their car. Some- As if they didn’t have enough to wor- tips for the Mousetrap Car? times the most miraculous Christmas ry about with the building and testing Mr. Wilbur: Yes. event of the year is when a Physics of the car, now they must remember Greg: Do you want to share them? “Paul Tremblay is the...king” student finally gets his car to work. to log their work in a clear, thorough, Mr. Wilbur: Nope. Some may ask what the big deal is and organized way for another part of -Paul Tremblay about the mousetrap car. After all, their grade. There you have it. The secrets of the it has to go only four meters. First, And now, as the due date project will remain a mystery held those people have never taken Phys- for the cars approaches, frantic ju- only by the Physics teachers and a ics. Second, those people have never niors and seniors cover the floor of the few lucky students. Still, the physi- “A ewe? Yeah, it’s an ostrich thing.” been in the hectic Junior year or super Physics hallway, desperately watch- cal evidence of hard work and deter- busy Senior year. Third, those people ing as their cars fall short of their de- mination is made clear by the many -Tyson Mattox ‘15 have never taken Physics. Before we sired goal. Even when the car works pieces of wood strewn across the lab enter into the details of the project, perfectly one trial run, the next run tables, the shoe boxes placed in the stop and think for minute. The new is often completely different, driv- corners of the Physics labs, and the science building had a four-meter ing the students back to the drawing lack of Kidz Bop CDs still at students’ “I am not a feminist!” track put in to the floor of the Physics- board to consider methods to obtain a homes. And of course the students Chemistry hallway specifically for consistent performance from the car. themselves tweaking their cars up on -Kevin Boland ‘16 this project. Now that’s a big deal, While the majority of students con- the second floor is enough to show much bigger than simply making a car tinue to struggle up to the final day, any passerby the difficulty of but also the hard work put into the mousetrap car project. So if you see a junior or “Those cows that go ‘moo’...Those are senior frantically fixing a mousetrap car, stop and say good luck. Or may- all female?” be say a prayer for him. Or maybe put in a good word with Santa so some- -Will D’Orsi ‘15, thing can go well for him this Christ- mas. And if you’re not taking Physics absolutely dumbfounded that there is right now, start working on your car, because before you know it, you’ll be no such thing, in fact, as a male cow one of the unfortunate students in this What’s the big deal? This only has to make a car go four meters. article. There Can Only Be One Left Standing SDLC Conference: A Time By David Korzeniowski a queen and king. Beam responded prised?” Rowe defeated Westvold that this was somehow illegal, and in a shocking upset. Prince defeated ‘16 he is still fuming over the tough Adams, knocking out the 2-seed For People To Unify It all began in Monday loss. from that side of the bracket. Kaba morning Corporate Chapel about of the conference was, with which The round of 64 is always and Korzeniowski may have been By Matt Aisenberg ‘16 a month ago. Mr. Stefan Cres- he responded, “My favorite part of an action packed week with 32 the most shocking matchup of the Last week, from Decem- sotti rose from his seat in the the conference was learning about matches played in roughly 5 days. round, however. They played before ber third to the sixth, two students church and made his way up to the the diversity in people’s lives. Surprisingly, the seventh graders school on the Tuesday before from our community, CJ Turnbull podium to give an announcement. Hearing all these different people had quite a good showing in the Thanksgiving. The game was close and Nnamdi Okwerekwu, went Everyone knew what was coming: talk really put stuff in perspec- round of 64, giving many of the and was still going on at 7:45. Fr. on a “life-enlightening” experi- the annual decree that the one and tive for me and made me think a higher-seeded upper classmen some Paris was ushering everyone out ence to Indianapolis where they only chess tournament would be lot about different things in life. tough games. Seventh grader Will the library when he came over to attended the SDLC Conference. starting. Now, it’s finished. What a I am extremely grateful for the McGovern gave 4-seed Anthony the game and destroyed the board SDLC stands for Student Diversity tournament it has been. opportunity to have attended such Canavan quite a game, taking his where Soree and David were Leadership Conference and this For the first time, the an inspirational conference.” I pro- queen early in the game and nearly playing. Mr. Cressotti allowed a was the 12th year of the annual chess tournament contained a wild ceeded to ask Nnamdi these same putting Canavan in checkmate. 5 rematch in which Korzeniowski conference. This conference is an card round in which countless un- two questions and his response to seed Chris Potvin also didn’t get foolishly gave up his queen, push- inclusive multiracial and multicul- derclassmen and Jackson Mannix the first one was, “It was one of past a seventh grader whose name ing Soree to the elite 8. Bertsch de- tural gathering of all high school (a junior) had to win a preliminary the best experiences of my life and I may or may not have forgotten feated Fox, Petro defeated Canavan, students from around the country. game in order to cement a stop a great way to spend my birthday. easily either. Ray Hilvert, after and Jarcyzk defeated Rocco. What this conference focuses on is in the round of 64. These games During the conference we dis- winning a wild card game, had the In the elite 8, Sonny beat self-reflection, listening to others’ were generally entertaining, not cussed various topics having to clear-cut favorite of the tournament Wolpe in what he thought was an experiences and trying to learn because they were good, funda- do with diversity such as: racial, (4-seed David Korzeniowski) in a easy matchup. Prince defeated from them, and, last but not least, mental chess game but because sexual orientation, gender, and tough position as well, but naturally Rowe in a tight game. Soree de- community-building. The goal of it was very fun to watch players both social and economic status. I Korzeniowski was able to make it feated Bertsch, and afterwards Mr. this conference is for the partici- who knew nothing about chess met a lot of great people there as through. Cressotti declared at the time that pants to open up to each other and go head to head. The two best well.” Nnamdi’s favorite experi- The round of 32 was quite this was the “game of the tourna- learn different stuff about life, to games of the wildcard round were ence from the conference was, entertaining as well. Cedric “Doc” ment.” The final matchup, although find themselves, to learn more without a doubt Colgan vs. Dug- “All the reflections of the experi- Depestre had control in his game I didn’t witness it, sounded by all about diversity, to learn cross- gan and Beam vs. Mannix. Mikey ence in front of all 1600 people on vs. Dennis Yandow despite the fact accounts like a slaughter. Jarcyzk cultural communication skills, and Colgan, who learned how to play the last day.” They both seemed that everyone in the crowd was and Petro, not even 10 minutes into to learn how to better understand chess homeroom that day, came to have a fantastic time on the trip rooting against him for no good the game, had moved so quickly the nature and development of ef- back from an early deficit to beat and learned a lot. reason. Westvold scooted past and rashly that all the power pieces fective strategies for social justice. sophomore Liam Duggan. The If you are a sophomore 8-seed Declan Walsh after a classic except 2 were gone. Cole had a I interviewed both CJ Beam vs. Mannix game was ab- and reading this maybe you should move in which Scottie pretends he queen and was about to get another and Nnamdi to see of what they solutely absurd. I still believe that consider going on this next year made a bad move by flinching. This with his pawn, while Petro had thought about the conference and this game, out of all that have been considering what good reviews prompted Declan to take the knight nothing but a knight. At this point, their experiences there. I asked played, attracted the most viewers and times both CJ and Nnamdi which Scott had acted like he put Petro left the table claiming there CJ to tell me a little bit about the and prompted the loudest crowd had. The conference seemed like in a bad position, and the next was too much of a distraction from conference and what he thought reaction. Johnny Beam had Jack- a fun time but also a time to listen move Scott took Declan’s queen. the crowd. Jarcyzk smartly took a of it. He answered with, “It was son beat. He took Jackson’s queen to what others have to say and After this round, there were 16 left: picture of the board, and he com- a great experience and it helped and was in control of the board. what different people in different Sonny Huang, Mike Rozewski, pleted his victory later. me understand the problems that Jackson, through talking really situations go through on a day-to- Chris Wolpe, Cedric Depestre, Scott The day that I’m writing go unnoticed in the world, espe- loudly and intimidating Johnny day basis. Very interesting and I Westvold, Peter Rowe (a surpris- this is December 10th, and the final cially with sexual orientation and Beam beyond belief, fought back. encourage people if they have any ing 11 seed), Nolan Prince (an- of the tournament isn’t until next racial difficulties. Not only do I Johnny Beam lost two queens: his more questions about the SDLC other surprise), Jack Adams, Soree Tuesday. Today, however, Jarcyzk encourage something like SDLC first actual queen, and the second conference to ask either CJ or Kaba, David Korzeniowski, Will pulled off a remarkable come from but I feel like it is an experience queen that he gained by getting a Nnamdi and they will be glad to Fox, Connor Bertsch, John Petro, behind victory in which he moved that helps shape character.” I then pawn to the opposite side of the go into more detail. Anthony Canavan, Matt Rocco, and his queen diagonally across the asked him what his favorite part board. Jackson also got another Cole Jarcyzk. entire board to put the unsuspect- queen, and he yelled, “GIVE ME The sweet 16, as Mr. ing Soree in checkmate. Tomorrow THAT!” At this point Mr. Cres- The Walrus Cressotti stated, was filled with Sonny and Prince will play, and sotti left, later stating, “Those A St. Sebastian’s Publication “juicy, juicy matchups.” Sonny Jarcyzk will get the winner next two made so many really, really Senior Editors: Jack Adams’ ‘15, Edgar Escobar ‘15, Ryan Lee ‘15, Angus O”Rourke ‘15, John defeated Mike Rozewski. Wolpe Tuesday. What is I’m saying seems bad moves. That was just such a Ryan ‘15 defeated Cedric, afterwards asking ridiculously obvious to me right grimy game.” Jackson did prevail, Apprentice Editors: South Pole Elves, Also Known As Those Who Said They Would Write an the crowd, “What, are you sur- now, but I may come across as a Article, But Didn’t Submit Their Article putting Beam in checkmate with fool by the time this is printed. I Head Writers: Mac Morris ‘15, Pat McGowan ‘15, Billy McCarthy ‘15, think Sonny will beat Prince rela- Chris Haley ‘15, Tyler Wiik ‘15 tively easily, and I think he’ll win a Editors Emeritus: John Bartlett ‘14, Dan Fulham ‘14, Jack Goldman ‘14, Christian Kelly ‘14, Will Kenney ‘14 close(r) game against Jarcyzk in the Faculty Advisor: Mr. Dan Drummond final. If I’m right, people will say, “Dude, that was obvious.” If I’m TheThe WalrusWalrus isis thethe officialofficial studentstudent newspapernewspaper ofof St.St. Sebastian’sSebastian’s School.School. TheThe WalWal-- rusrus seeksseeks toto provideprovide newsnews andand entertainmententertainment forfor thethe St.St. Sebastian’sSebastian’s community,community, asas wellwell wrong, this article will be as bad asas toto provideprovide anan openopen forumforum forfor studentsstudents toto offeroffer opinionsopinions onon issuesissues relatedrelated toto world,world, nana-- as The Chicago Tribune that read tional,tional, andand schoolschool affairs.affairs. TheThe opinionsopinions expressedexpressed hereinherein dodo notnot necessarilynecessarily reflectreflect opinopin-- “Dewey Defeats Truman” after the ionsions ofof thethe facultyfaculty advisorsadvisors oror seniorsenior editorseditors ofof TheThe WalrusWalrus oror ofof St.St. Sebastian’sSebastian’s School.School. 1948 election. Spoiler alert: Dewey CorrespondenceCorrespondence toto TheThe WalrusWalrus shouldshould bebe addressedaddressed toto TheThe Walrus,Walrus, c/oc/o St.St. SebasSebas-- tian’stian’s School,School, 11911191 GreendaleGreendale Avenue,Avenue, Needham,Needham, MA,MA, 02492.02492. SeniorSenior EditorsEditors andand productionproduction The winner of the Chess Tournament will reign in everlasting didn’t actually win. staffstaff reservereserve thethe rightright toto reject,reject, edit,edit, oror admitadmit anyany oror allall submissions.submissions. ToTo submitsubmit anan article,article, glory forever, to the giddy delight of Mr. Stefan Cressotti. visitvisit thethe WalrusWalrus page,page, foundfound onon thethe studentstudent portalportal ofof ourour beautifulbeautiful schoolschool website.website. December 2014 THE WALRUS Page 3 Time To Get Your Christmas Spirit On Best Christmas Cookies EVER

By Ryan Lee ’ 15 little bit better than anise, the do not cookies that are frosted to perfection. SENIOR EDITOR have a chance in a fight against any These are the cookies that never seem of the remaining cookies looking to be to run out, and before blinking an eye, As the Christmas Season is in full crowned champion. you have eaten a dozen. swing, everyone at Seb’s finds them- 6. Fudge Crinkles- These cookies are 3. Peanut Butter Blossoms- These selves ready to have a break from the classic blue-collar worker of the cookies are not well known around school, get some new gifts, and eat a group. They don’t look nice or seem most households, but are some of disgusting amount of Christmas cook- to taste good, but somehow get the the best. The peanut butter cookie is ies. Through careful taste testing of job done. I know I will be chastised topped with a Hershey Kiss and is one all the cookies, and years of portly for saying this, but I just do not think of the best. The only thing that brings cookie eating experience, I have come chocolate cookies can be in the same it down to number three is that a gal- up with the perfect list of Christmas conversation as the others remaining. lon of milk is needed to sallow the ab- Cookies, starting from the worst of 5. Gingerbread Men- These cookies surdly rich cookies. Not even the blackest of hearts can resist the temptation to the mainstays. mostly reach the list on name alone. 2. Jelly Thumbprints- These classic spread Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear. 8. Anise Cookies- I have never met You do not appreciate Christmas if cookies find themselves in the num- anyone under the age of 40 who en- you do not at least enjoy Gingerbread ber two spot by just a hair. For some Christmas Carols With Canavan joys these small little cookies. When men a little bit. Many people may reason, I find these cookies incredible. The last line of the song ‘If only in my they are put out on the dessert tray, rank these cookies at number one, The little cookies are filled with rasp- By Anthony Canavan ‘15 dreams’ is kind of devastating, but at they seem to stand out, covered in ic- and I believe those people are wrong. berry or strawberry jam, and for some FEATURE WRITER the same time you can’t help but love ing and flirtatious little sprinkles. This As famous sportscaster Skip Bay- reason, I can eat them like popcorn. December 1st comes around the hopefulness present in the song all changes when you bite into the de- less says, “don’t be a prisoner of the The only problem is that they find and the only station I keep on my and the yearning to return home and mons. There is some sort of a weird moment.” These cookies cannot be themselves against the Granddaddy of Pandora is ‘Frank Sinatra (Holiday)’ be with one’s family. My favorite ren- licorice taste that just is not good. In ranked any higher just because they all cookies… and as much as that is supposed to dition of this goes to big Frank even the least surprising fact about anise are festive. 1. The Snickerdoodle- This cookie say Christmas and as much as I want though Bing Crosby has the O.G. ver- cookies is that Mr. Nerbonne thinks 4. Frosted Sugar Cookies- These can do no wrong. The cookies are to write about the reasons for saying sion. Frank takes home gold on this they are the Holy Grail of all Christ- cookies hold the same weight as the covered in cinnamon sugar and seem Merry Christmas or Happy Hanuk- because of how he hits every single mas desserts. Gingerbread Men, but can handle to warm your heart with every bite. kah rather than Happy Holidays and note. Listen to the two versions one 7. Macaroons- These lumps of coco- themselves a little better in the ring The Snickerdoodle loves you and asks the various problems concerning po- after another; Frank sounds more in- nut are not the most appealing treat with the cookie heavyweights. Ev- for nothing in return. It is the Virgin litical correctness and how little most vested and more genuine, as if he is to the eye, and are not much bet- eryone’s Grandmother makes killer Mary of cookies, always underappre- of p.c. means, rather than addressing actually away from home for Christ- ter on the tongue. While they are a candy cane and Christmas tree shaped ciated and always fantastic. actual people and the actual religious mas and wants nothing more than to days they celebrate, I won’t, because return home. I love Christmas and no one, and I Silent Night mean no one, can take that away from -Silent Night is definitely top five best me. Nothing sounds better than jolly Christmas Carols. My favorite rendi- old Frank singing classics like Winter tion is actually the Latin verse that Wonderland, Hark the Herald Angels Fr. Paris sings every Latin Mass and Sing, or my favorite Sinatra carol, I’ll the hopes of hearing him sing it once be Home for Christmas. Come De- more have kept me coming back to cember 1st, no other music is allowed Latin Club every year. If you haven’t to enter my ears unless it comes from heard it, get out there, it’s worth it. the speakers in the J.V. Puck locker Secondly, the song itself just speaks room. The following is a list of my fa- to the listener. It’s a lullaby about the vorite Christmas Carols, why they are birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord and so great, and the artists I believe have Savior. For those Ricky Bobby fans the best versions of them. who like to imagine Jesus as just a Santa Claus is Coming to cute little baby, this song is definitely Town for you. -First off, it’s not even debatable that The next two songs make According to Ryan Lee ‘15, who knows a lot about eating, these are in order, from left to right Bruce Springsteen has the single this list simply because I heard them the best cookies of Christmas. See above to know their names so you can eat them over Christ- greatest version of this song and any- hundreds of times while watching mas break. From all here at the Walrus have a blessed Christmas. Merry Christmas to all! one after him who tried to sing it just Home Alone (the original, not Home sounded sub-par. Santa Claus is Com- Alone 7, The Next Generation): ing to Town is just a classic Christmas O Little Star of Bethlehem and Have Have You Forgotten To Do Your Christ- song about how you better watch out Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and you better not cry because San- I’ve been scouring the deeps of the in- mas Shopping? Paige Will Help You Out ta is on his way. Classic way to get terweb but cannot find who sang those By Paige Sanderson ‘15 a non-stop thrill of acting out judicial may cause a lack of sleep and freaky kids to shape up by threatening them two songs on the soundtrack but when reviews with their LEGO versions of Norwegian nightmares, it will charm with Santa watching, all around great you hear them, you recognize them, HEAD WRITER/ SANTA Chief Justice John Roberts and Ruth the pants off anyone who loves the message about not whining and being and love it. CORRESPONDENT Ginsburg. Finally if you have a teen- country of Norway and trolls. stoked because in 25 or so days (de- And here are a few runner ups with age sister who is obsessed with the Did someone say romantic pending on how early the radio starts their artists: Ahh, it’s that time of year British prepubescent pop group One music? No? Well shut up! No one with the Christmas tunes) you’re go- It Came Upon a Midnight Clear – again. The lights go up, the carolers Direction and want to get her a gift asked you! While most people will ing to wake up to a room full of pres- Frank Sinatra go caroling, and people finally get to that will make you forever “fetch” find the romantic crooning of Michael ents, a tree, your family, and a day of Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy- make use of their endless supply of in her eyes, than look no further than Buble’s Christmas album romantic fun. Additionally, Bruce has such a David Bowie and Bing Crosby wrapping paper. That’s right, it’s the half of a guitar pick signed by none enough, my sophisticated science unique voice and the saxophone kind Little St. Nick- The Beach Boys Christmas time and now is the time other than One Direction’s Tour Man- team (a group of chimpanzees and a of puts the rest of the song over the Sleigh Ride- Johnny Mathis of year where people flood malls, ager Paul Higgins. Sure it’s not One grocery cart) has found the most ro- top. No one can match his raspy voice Run Rudolph Run- Chuck Berry Wal-Marts and PF Changs to try to Direction but who cares? It’s still mantic Christmas music west of the and make it sound so great, it’s simply My dad’s favorite: O Come, O Come find last minute gifts for their loved something that kind of has to do with Mississippi. Kids Bop: Christmas Ad- impossible to match. Emmanuel- Some guy he can’t re- ones. Some people struggle to find a them. Also where would One Direc- dition is a classic holiday album and Winter Wonderland member. gift that is both affordable and tells tion be without Paul? Nowhere, that’s nothing says romance more than a -If you’ve ever driven down the VFW My mom’s favorite: Away in a Man- your loved one that you love them this where! thousand children screaming simulta- Parkway in the middle of January be- ager- Some guy she can’t remember. many dollars worth. Luckily, I, Paige Now let’s move onto gifts neously the lyrics to classic Christmas fore the snow gets grey and nasty (or if My brother’s favorite: Wonderful “Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you for that special someone in your life. songs. you’re Mr. White and you bike it from Christmas Time- Paul McCartney out of clay ” Sanderson, am here to Nothing will make or break a relation- Now if your looking for gifts J.P.) than this song is for you. The My sister’s favorite: So This is Christ- help you find gifts that are both af- ship more than a Christmas gift. That’s for the entire family to enjoy, here VFW is lined with massive trees and mas- John Lennon fordable and good enough to mildly why you must put at least above mini- are some hot tips that you can’t find because they are so tall, the branches or please your loved ones. mal effort in to buying gifts for that anywhere else because they might be actual hang out and cross forming a All I Want for Christmas is You- First, let’s start with gifts special someone in your life. Most illegal. Board games are especially kind of canopy over the two lanes. Af- Mariah Carey for kids. Kids under the age of eight people will tell you to go to Jared or popular this time of year and games ter a fresh snowfall, it actually looks My other brother’s favorite: Jingle are usually easy to satisfy since they Kay Jewelers to find that perfect gift. like Candy Land 2: Operation Stay like the entire road is enclosed and Bell Rock- Bobby Helms generally have simple needs and like However, there are many more non- Between the Gumdrops and Human nothing but Winter Wonderland is ap- My other other brother’s favorite: any object with a bunch of flashing jewelry commercial venues where Jenga are especially popular this year. propriate for those driving conditions. Frosty the Snowman-Frosty himself lights. Here are some hot new items you can find a heart-melting gift for What’s Human Jenga, one might ask? My favorite rendition of this piece of in that movie that are sure to be popular amongst your loved one. For example, Karl’s Well it’s basically Jenga except in- art has to go to Bing Crosby. His was This person I’m currently texting: Do the children this season. Florescent Hammy Down Lumpy Rug Empori- stead of playing with blocks of wood, the first version I ever listened to and You Want To Build a Snowman- Fro- light bulbs are making a comeback um is the perfect place to find the gift you play with actual people who stack every other version sounds stale- his zen (even though I kindly explained it and children everywhere are clamor- that will make your special someone themselves up as you and your friends is too full of life and he’s so invested is not, in fact, a Christmas song) ing just to get their hands on some fall in love with you all over again. try to pull them out with out toppling in the song that everyone else sounds My favorite: White Christmas- Bing good ole fashion florescent fun. Nothing says “I love you” more than the tower. like a phony. Crosby (it’s the number one selling They’re relatively cheap and one can a nice stained shag carpet that smells Well, I think that list covers I’ll Be Home for Christmas song of all time, not Christmas song, find them in holiday stores like Home like overcooked chili. And, as we all the entire holiday gift giving wisdom -This song was released on Decem- straight up song) Depot and Lowes or a Toys’R’Us. know, every kiss begins with Karl’s I have. Just know that if any of these ber 7th, 1944 to the troops overseas. Your favorite: ______Another item that children love are Hammy Down Lumpy Rug Empo- gifts don’t work, I am not liable for Rather than lowering morale, as it See, I just made your day. Now you LEGOS. From Star Wars LEGOS to rium. Another gift that your loved one any injures or destroyed relationships was first predicted which is why it have a great Christmas playlist and I Harry Potter LEGOS, children every- will either love or find deeply disturb- that follow. Also, remember if your wasn’t released in 1943 when Bing just made the first Walrus Mad Lib. where go crazy-town banana-pants ing are Norwegian Troll dolls. These gifts don’t work, there is always May Crosby first recorded it, it actually You know what else happened when for these airway-obstructing building dolls are like Furbys or regular dolls 3rd or National Lumpy Rug Day to boosted American morale. The Brit- I typed ‘first’? I broke a thousand blocks of fun. That’s why children except with more teeth, wrinkly faces, make up for it. Have a merry Christ- ish, however, banned the playing of words. That’s how much I love Christ- will fall in love with the new Supreme and dark soulless eyes. While this gift mas and a so-so New Year! it for fear of lowering British morale. mas. Share the love. Court themed Lego set. Kids will get Mr. Williams, he seems frightening but few occasions people have found him The Seb’s Island of Misfit Toys when you meet him you realize all he taking very long in the showers and decision, but at the end, Ryan Lee Beam, aka Squash. There are many wants to do is put the star on the Christ- locker room and even singing his own By Jack Adams ‘15 stands above the rest, literally. He members in the Class of 2015 that have mas tree. rendition of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. SENIOR EDITOR is so much bigger than everyone else attempted to abduct Squash like Kevin Frosty the Snowman is Geoff Papa Elf is Jimmy Mitchell. In the spirit of the Christmas around him, and there have been ru- did in Home Alone. Wade. He’s jolly, and throw a hat, or Never have I seen a more fatherly fig- season, we look back to the mid 1900s mors that he has eaten gum off some Harry Lime and Marv Mer- bucket on him and he’s alive on the ice. ure. and early 2000s and reminisce on all not so pleasant places. chants, the two thieves in Home Alone, Ebenezer Scrooge is Danny Charlie in the Box from the the stellar films that still grace our The Grinch is Danny Hig- are the combo of Doyle Silvia and An- Higgins. Wait I already mentioned Island of Misfit Toys is Brendan Alb- eyes on television today, and we real- gins. There is something about his thony Canavan. Never have I see two him. ertson. Brendan has the rosiest cheeks ize the characters are much like Seb’s suspicious demeanor and pessimistic legal adults go after a small seventh Buddy Hall and Steve Finch I have ever seen. Also Brendan is al- kids we see everyday. attitude around others with Christmas grader like these two. from Deck the Halls are John Flatley ways posted up in the box come hockey Starting off, it’s only the cheer that lead me to believe he isn’t Burgermeister Meisterburger and AJ Jreige. Always constantly argu- season. fitting that Will D’Orsi is the train too into the Christmas time of year. is Noah De’Angelo. Noah is always ing, these two like in Deck the Halls are The bird who can’t fly but can with square wheels from the Island of Cindy Lou Who is Peter Ol- angry…Burgermeister is angry, ergo just trying to outshine each other. swim is Shawn Lynch…except he can’t misfit toys. Heck he can even be the sen. One side conversation with him Noah is the heartless man who tries to Miles Finch is Danny Beam. really swim either. wheely-backpack with square wheels, warms your heart like a hot cup of co- eliminate all toys from Christmas. Don’t call him short or an angry, little The cowboy who rides an os- it is just too right. coa. The Abominable Snowman elf or else prepare yourself for the cute trich is Cam Quirk. Buddy the Elf was a tough Kevin McCallister is John is Dan Williams. When you first see ensuing wrath. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Jovie is Tyson Reed. On a Page 4 THE WALRUS December 2014 Movies with the Mac Attack What Is He Wearing? Birdman By Jake Loughborough study hall in seventh grade when the By Mac Morris ‘15 of notable luminaries say of their the apex and zenith of all reviews ‘16 and legendary Doctor Martin walked up written pieces, that if they had more ever, as it consists entirely of the to Gordon Donnelly, who had been HEAD WRITER/ time the thing that they had writ- following: “Birdman” was good and Brendan Lutch ‘16 talking for most of the period, and MOVIE CONNOISSEUR ten would be shorter. Following I enjoyed “Birdman”. Best Picture? instead of getting mad at him for the The typical St. Sebastian’s chatter, he simply said, “You should So, yeahhh, I was sup- that logic—and taking into account Merry Christ—oh, and I give it 9.5 student wears Sperry’s, Vineyard kill whoever made that shirt because posed to review “Birdman” for the the fact that I had a lot of time with out of 10 Macs. So yeah: Merry Vines, then Timberland boots during it is simply hideous.” Walrus, but, uhhh, then I got into which I could’ve/should’ve worked Christmas!!! the winter. And while most students Another fashion fiend, but a college, LOL. I’ve heard a number on the assignment—this review is wear brown or beige pants, there has much sneakier one is Stewart Smith, been a ferocious movement over the more commonly known as “Stew.” past few years of wearing different Stew never really wears crazy, or colored pants. Jack Adams and Will flashy clothes, however, if you see D’Orsi rival each other for fewest him on a regular basis, you’ll notice times having worn normal colored the diabolical inconsistency for his pants. When both of them were red Ralph Lauren sweater. Stew has asked the last time they remember gone over a week without wearing wearing a normal colored pair of this infamous sweater; however, I pants, Jack Adams said, “September, swear to all of you that I have seen 08” and D’Orsi responded “Ever him wear that sweater four days in a since I was a little kid I’ve wanted row. Why do I notice this small detail to have a wheely backpack and wear about one of the biggest savages in embroidered corduroys… I feel like the school? The answer is simple: I if you have one, the other is just es- have the same sweater and always try sential.” Mike Calabro is also known to wear it the same day as he does, to wear some funky clothing. He’s but it’s harder than it sounds. been seen wearing Hawaiian shirts Go see Birdman. And, if you have the time, get into college. It helps a lot in the long run. Another Arrow whose fash- and corduroys, and when asked about ion choices have prompted discus- that he said, “I kinda just dream of a sions is Mike Mackintire (AKA the To Be Or Not To Be: That Is the Question world where everyone wears Hawai- father of the Class of 2016). Mike ian shirts to school, and then Mr. is nicknamed “the father” for a few they judged the best performance of his spot in the next round. Similarly, By Andrew Elcock ‘17 Burke likes it so much that he starts reasons, one of which being that he a scene from Macbeth. The win- Nate Kocho emerged victorious from “Life’s but a walking wearing Hawaiian shirts. And just is often seen wearing dad clothes. ner of this Shakespeare competition the scrum of the lower school and imagine that mustache in a Hawaiian shadow, a poor player\ That struts Chris Haley placed a close second Specific features that have given him and frets his hour upon the stage\ proceeds to a regional competition at shirt, it would be magical.” No argu- this distinction are his sweaters, his Mount Ida college and perhaps even- behind Mr. Morris in the high-school ment there. He went on to say, “I saw And then is heard no more” quoth division. All three managed to pull sneakers, his reading glasses, his Macbeth in the play bearing his tually to the national level. More- Cady Heron wearing Hawaiian shirts scarves, and, most importantly, his together the various facets of deliver- and purple corduroys so I started name, but I suppose the actors in over, they perform their selection leather driving gloves. The driving ing a monologue into a whole worthy wearing Hawaiian shirts and purple the Shakespeare competition are not in front of the school at Corporate gloves are completely understandable of the plays they read from. The entire corduroys.” alive, as they do not resemble the Chapel, perhaps the most prestigious because 99% of car accidents happen honor awarded at the school. school wishes luck to Mac heading Some faculty members when neither driver is wearing them, picture Shakespeare paints in that into the next round, looks forward to were asked what they thought about speech. There are, of course, several so I’ll let that slide. At least he’s open other factors beside merely the rules great success from Nate Kocho mov- the vibrant clothing worn by some about it, unlike Mr. Connolly, who On Tuesday, December 9th, ing forward. Seb’s students. Mr. Williams thinks in driving wind and pouring rain, the to consider. First, there is something refuses to divulge the product that he However, let the nameless that Seb’s kids are turning into “a puts in his hair. Jack Bruegger would greats of St. Sebastian’s Shakespeare perhaps so fundamental it is often souls who marched to defeat (myself buncha’ fruit cakes,” and that the be willing to tell you all about the scholarship hurried to the drama overlooked: the choice of speech. included) not be forgotten. It takes some of the outfits worn make some kind of hair gel he puts in his, but room to recite their passages. From If the scholar opts for a piece from students look so ridiculous they re- Macbeth, for example, it will almost true dedication to struggle through come on—you don’t want your hair the farm league of the middle school the elements on a Tuesday afternoon mind him of the kids he runs over on looking like Bruegger’s. competition to the big leagues of high certainly be mournful and full of Halloween. When Mr. Thomasy was angst. On the other hand, if the piece and still be willing to act out a 20 line One of the more common school, it was certainly as impres- asked, he said he didn’t even notice reasons people wear crazy colored stems from A Midsummer Night’s speech learned on one’s own time sive of a year as has yet to be seen. any of the bold fashion statements: clothing is if you have to wear a shirt, Dream, it may be more lighthearted (Note: It is not nearly this bad. Such One would at first assume the rain to which is concerning on a few levels dress pants, and tie every day you in delivery, with a fantastical touch. embellishments go with the territory but not really surprising if you’d dampen the event, but it seems that during memorial speeches, so roll with might as well switch things up and the average St. Seb’s student will Then there is the speaking itself. ever had the great privilege to speak make it a little interesting. Maybe it’s Monologuing is more than merely it). I would like to hold a moment to that man. I then asked him how I fight through the elements to recite of silence--oh, [expletive removed], a response to the somewhat unreason- their favorite speech, no matter the speaking the words--it is making the was looking and he replied the words ably strict dress code. Their thought you’re reading this so that doesn’t “very, very good” a strange amount cost. audience believe them. A monotone process might go something like this, make any sense. Umm, just stare into of times, so I kind of backed out of But first, perhaps a touch is a straight path to defeat, while a “Oh, I can’t wear a sports team re- space awkwardly in remembrance, the classroom quietly. of background would help. The St. vibrant voice is the surest path to vic- lated jacket for no particular reason? tory. Then there is the memorization- okay? Good. The teachers have been And I can’t wear any Seb’s gear un- Sebastian’s Shakespeare (impressive In all seriousness, though, commenting on some of the weirder alliteration--Shakespeare would be -the undoing of many a promising less it was purchased from the school actor is the inability to remember the the Shakespeare competition is a great looks that their students have been store? (Which has got to be some proud) competition is a school-wide way to get a little acting in, pad your wearing. For example, when Will contest divided into two parts: the delightful intricacies of the Bard’s form of communism?) Then I’m resume, win fame/prestige/groupies, or D’Orsi confidently strutted into Ms. just going to wear the most extreme upper- and lower-school divisions. language. And, finally, there is the just spend an afternoon. Plus, you get Uhlman’s room for class one day clothing that’s still technically within The two follow the same rules, acting. Though not as pronounced to look good in front of Mr. Burke just wearing a red sweater and green the guidelines.” Or, maybe they just which are simple: first, no speech as during a dialogue or fight scene, pants, for Christmas season, obvi- when to smile, to frown, to pace or to for trying, so that’s a bonus. While it wear those clothes just because; who may exceed twenty lines; second, the may be a little early to prepare for next ously, he was a mixture of surprised knows. You might be thinking, “This speech must be from Shakespeare’s freeze is essential, and watching the and rattled when she said, “I get the taletned Shakespearean actors can aid year, you should definitely still try it. guy should probably know why since works; and third, they must recite pants and the sweater, but why do he just wrote a page and a half article greatly in this pursuit. In conclusion, the competi- that speech to a panel of judges. The you think you can wear a blue plaid about it,” but I really don’t know The winner this year was tion was a success, continuing a long judges themselves were Headmaster shirt with all that. It just doesn’t what could possibly be the impetus to Macarthur “Class Act” Morris, per- line of the same stretching back to work.” This chirp got the class going, Burke; Mr. Rogers, the head of the its beginning. To quote Shakespeare someone wearing bright green pants, arts department; and Mr. Drummond, haps best known for his rousing per- which has been a constant theme at a yellow shirt, and a pink sweater. formance in the fall play as Nicely- once more, this time from “Much Ado Seb’s for a while. I can remember a premier Shakespeare expert at the About Nothing”: “All the world’s a school. The latter two had warmed Nicely Johnson, where he sang “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat” stage,\ And all the men and women up their taste for dramatic recitations merely players;\ They have their exits The New Sensation That’s of Bill the Bard himself at the sopho- masterfully. He delivered, with similar skill, most definitely earning and their entrances,\ And one man in more Macbeth competition, where his time plays many parts,” much as Sweeping St. Seb’s the students in the competition demon- from the low skill players I started strated by bringing the characters they By Colin Kehoe ‘18 with?” Great question readers. The played to life. A new phenomenon has process of moving your team up the Lastly, (I promise) congratu- swept across the app store and not ranks starts out early by passing the lations to Thaddeus Kennedy, Stevie only controlled the top charts but tutorial levels, as I said before. After Karol and Jake O’Neil in winning the also controlled the minds of young that, the task gets slightly harder as aforementioned sophomore Macbeth men. In the words of ‘cha boi’ Mike you have to beat either the computer tournament and their well-deserved Bollas ‘18, “Madden Mobile is my or the other players in your league. So Chipotle gift card. Likewise, the same natural high, braaaaaahh. It’s super this is where the game starts to take some killer thumb reflexes or for some Congrats to Mac, Haley, and Nate and all who strut their congratulations to all others who made addicting, dude.” The objective of strange people out there, index finger hour upon the stage. Billy Shakes himself would be proud. it to the finals of that competition. the game is to beat all your friends in the league. So you start out by reflexes. Every time you beat your op- picking the team that you want to be. ponent you get a new set of cards that No More Classics Day. Instead... TRIPS!!! Usually you choose the team by how you can incorporate into your lineup at your choice. These cards are not very problems of the main character. The was written in Sanskrit which is much style the jerseys have because By Jack McLaughlin ‘16 good and they often don’t help you story starts off with Medea frustrated the primary liturgical language of you don’t get the players that are on much unless you get lucky and acquire With the recent cuts made with her unfaithful husband and con- Hinduism and is now most com- that team in real life. Upon choosing a top of the line player. Now you must to the Classics Day roster, the Latin tains murders, poison, and dragon- monly written as opposed to spoken; your team (really just the uniforms) be thinking, “what if I want the top department decided that the best pulled chariots so if you’re interested, however, when spoken, it is almost you get a random set of cards which notch players on my roster?” Well the option to keep the Latin Club alive check it out. Additionally, that night sung in sort of a rap. Next were the contains your players. These players answer is as simple as an auction. As a would be to take field trips to various also turned out to be the night of the Christmas carolers and all in all the are usually pretty bad and have low player, you can enter live actions and locations that had relevance to Clas- Harvard-Yale game and things were night seemed to be a hit. However, rankings. They are the 53rd man on a compete for the best players against sics. So, the two most recent field said to have been a bit rowdy around according to the majority of the real life roster. Once your team is set, other Madden Mobilers. You bid on trips took students to Cambridge and the Harvard campus. The game students, the best part of the trip was you start the tutorial which, like all these players using coins that you have Providence The first trip was taken ended just before the play did and as the food. The restaurant was a local tutorials, is pretty boring. You learn gathered through challenges and mini to Adams Pool Theatre in Cambridge Harvard came off of a 31-24 victory burger place in Providence; however, how to do run and pass plays and games. For example, one game would on Saturday, November 22. While over Yale, the Harvard students took from hearing several stories, it was when you pass every level you get a be trying to throw as many comple- there, the students who volunteered to the streets hindering the movement not your typical greasy burger house. new set of players that can be subbed tions as possible in a set time frame. to go were able to witness Seneca’s of the Seb’s group. The group even One student was even recorded say- into your lineup. After the tutorial Depending on your performance, you play, Medea. Twelve students were witnessed a certain intoxicated male ing that it was the best burger he’d is over, most people would join a are granted a certain amount of coins. lucky enough to witness this play jumping and stomping on the back of ever eaten. While this is probably league to compete in a bloodbath of Not only are you able to buy players and the trip was chaperoned by the the car which in its whole probably a sad overstatement, the trip again head-smashing and phone-throwing. in the live auction, but you are also dynamic duo of both Mr. J. Cressotti made the trip worth going on. sounded like a strong success. Along with playing your friends in able to sell the players that you have. and Mr. Albertson. Prior to the trip, Next, this past Monday Some of you may be the league, you can also play in a sea- You can “make bank” as Brennan Huff the students were treated to Ben and evening, the Latin Club made the wondering about the recent cuts on son against the computer. But, that’s (Will Ferrell) would say. Madden Mo- Jerry’s before the show. The show it- hike down to Providence to witness Classics Day. This year, instead of no fun. The real fun part comes bile is all the rave these days among self was said to be a bit slow but for a Christmas Caroling and Speeches at a Seb’s taking Holy Cross by force, the when you start to play against your young to middle aged teens and it soon classics play, pretty entertaining. The church outside of Brown University. Classics department at Holy Cross friends in what John Cena would put will pull you in. For all of you looking play was put on by the Harvard Clas- Again, the club got a solid turnout has set the maximum amount of stu- it as, “Spitswapping makeout match” for a challenge, Mudia A.K.A. Tank sics Club and all agreed that it was of students, both juniors and seniors. dents each school can take to 20. As (league matches). You play offense A.K.A Monadnock Onaiwu says, “Tell very well done. For those interested, While there, the crew listened to a substitute for the loss of Classics against your friends relying on your everybody to join my league #st.sebs the play maps out the problems of a three speeches. The first two were Day, the Latin Club will be hosting ability to score and their inability #mtank75. I’m out here reppin’ the conflicted character, Medea. It is cat- read in Ancient Greek and it was said various other trips throughout the to score. But most may ask, “Hey Bengals #chickennuggets.” Whatever egorized as a tragedy and follows the that listening to the Greek sounded year so keep a look out for that. Colin, how do I upgrade my team pretty interesting. The next speech that means. December 2014 THE WALRUS Page 5 Comics With Jimmy The Prophet: Merry Christmas By Billy McCarthy ‘15 Lord would finally open the eyes of his heart. PROPHET/HEAD WRITER Mr. Connolly wishes it were wedding season every season. Johnny Beam wishes his fam- ily would stop serving squash on the holidays. All Arrows wish Schedule X would cease to exist. Cam Quirk wishes his senior por- trait had been used to decorate Joe Kerwin’s “Eye-deer box.” Headmaster Burke wishes he Dear Santa, still taught English. I write on behalf of the en- John Flatley wishes science tire St. Sebastian’s community. The would let him sleep-in here and there. vast majority of us have, I believe, Cam Rivera wishes the bass been good for goodness sake. So, to would drop. help you out, I’ve made a collective Adama Kaba wishes he were as John Flatley: He Wakes Up Because of Science wish list and checked it twice. Please Whether it’s eating peanut cute as Soree. By Chris Haley ‘15 boarded the plane and took off for grant us the following wishes: butter-potato chip sandwiches at Florida… I-It was raining, and so our- Noah D’Angelo wishes he were still at Fessenden. HEAD WRITER lunch, or making immature jokes when our flight got delayed so we were late It’s 8:00 a.m., and Flatley Cam Cain wishes it were still Soree Kaba wishes his fists could President Lyndon B. Johnson’s initials but still…” walks into class meeting. His short- Thanksgiving. match his fury. are mentioned, Flatley never ceases Flatley’s impressive ability sleeved, plaid, flannel shirt hangs out Mr. Tremblay wishes it were so- Doyle Silvia wishes Seb’s had a to amuse and amaze us. I had the op- to improvise and clarify on the spot cially acceptable to change his name of his belt line, partially un-tucked. “Bring your mom to school day.” portunity to sit down with Flats earlier makes him a unique speech deliverer. to Brent Underwood. His tie hangs loosely from his half- Justin Lee wishes for the return of today to talk: However, despite his funny style of Cole Tremblay wishes his dad popped collar, and it’s now pushed his senior privileges. Me: “First of all, thanks for agreeing delivering in public, Flatley’s speeches would stop referring to himself as away by his unbuttoned shirt. He Ryan McGuirk wishes volleyball to give us this interview.” are always well written and from the Brent Underwood. gives his late slip to Mr. Cressotti, was a winter sport. Flats: “I didn’t agree, Haley.” heart. Mr. Wu wishes he could teach class- Jimmy Mitchell wishes he were and tries to sneak into his seat before Me: “So Flats, what did you have for The most classic Flatley es from his treehouse. more decisive. Mr. Sullivan sees him. As he walks, breakfast this morning?” moment of all time occurred this year Will Roche wishes he worked at John Ryan wishes he didn’t have head down and hands in his pockets, Flats: “Your mom.” during the Homecoming Cross Coun- Shaws. to conceal the fact that he’s 100% free Mr. Sullivan calmly utters to Flatley, Me: “What do you do in your free try race at Carol Park. At lunch that Ryan Lee wishes Weight Watchers from sin and 200% immortal. “Mr. Flatley, see me after school as time?” day, school mothers were passing out suggested he eat more watermelon. Patrick Ryan wishes he didn’t well…” This is the essential John Raffi Barsamian wishes de- Flats: “I plan world domination.” St. Seb’s sunglasses to students. Flat- have such big shoes to fill. Flatley. signer coats were more in vogue. Me: “If you were stranded on a desert ley took these black and red shades, Will D’Orsi wishes Yale had a Za Mr. Lawler wishes there were a Island with three Seb’s students, who removed one of the lenses (not both), button. bathroom in his classroom. would get eaten first?” and wore them during the race. Gabe Maxwell wishes girls Julian Matra wishes he still went Flats: “You!” Flats can be found most were allowed in Henry’s Corner. to Seb’s, the first school at which he Mr. Souza wishes Blake Gallagher As you can see, Flats can get often in the Robotics lab after school. found his niche. were his biological son. pretty hostile. But, he never fails to hu- Whether he is actually working on his Tyler Wiik wishes Barack Obama Danny Higgins wishes for a mor his fellow arrows. For example, a robot or just doing math homework would extend his executive order to stronger antiperspirant. John “Footnote” Flatley chapel speech with Peter Olson, you can almost account for undocumented immi- Matt Eldridge wishes he didn’t exemplifies his humorous personality. always find him there while he’s at grants of Swiss origin. look so much like Butters. Flatley’s speeches are always genuine school. When he’s not making robots, Chris Haley wishes Harvard al- Matt Guarino wishes Nyquil and well written, but, for some reason, Flats is smashing balls with rackets on ums would ditch any and all foreign wasn’t addictive. John doesn’t like to read strictly off the Squash court. first names. Cedric Depestre wishes more of his paper. He makes edits not as Although little Flatley (Tom, Danny Beam wishes for stilts. underclassmen would moosh his he writes, but as he performs. For ex- 7th grader) is cooler, Flats is a char- Matt Blue wishes he would stop head. ample, a Flatley speech might go like acter, and never fails to impress. So, running into Mr. Digan at sporting Edosa Onaiwu wishes MPA met this: whenever you need a robot, or a joker, events. every day. One of the few times Flatley Angus O’Rourke wishes to con- has been captured smiling. “My family and I then Flatley is your guy. Brendan Albertson wishes vert the bookstore into a Chipotle. his Waze app would stop issuing a Mr. Chambers wishes for hy- tornado warning every time he walks Dear Soldier Campaign: A Generous Set of Gifts draulic kneelers in the church. by Geoff Wade. such little effort to be written, they times we write to the veterans,” stated ByJack Kerwin ‘18 Peter Olson wishes the desks in Seve Mustone wishes Go-Pro mean a lot to the soldiers who have so John. The campaign is starting now, As a season full of giv- Mr. Cressotti’s room came with pil- cameras didn’t violate school dress little and may be going through such but is planned to come back in March ing begins to kick into gear, we are lows. code. a difficult time. Fellow seniors John for a second opportunity to write to reminded to remember all of those Mac Morris wishes for one more Matt Barron wishes Hugo Rourke, Jack Duffy, and Matt Doherty the veterans. Given the opportunity to shot at a Super Bowl. in our community, and to reach out Chavez would return to office. brought the dear soldier campaign to write to the soldiers, all those in the Mr. Thomasy wishes that all to those who sacrifice so much but Mr. Lynch wishes he taught sec- St. Sebastian’s school. After asking Seb’s community are encouraged to the king’s horses and all the king’s are often taken for granted. The dear ond period every period. founder John Rourke what motivated write at least two letters to the soldiers. men would just figure it out and put soldier campaign provides severely Mr. Schell wishes his wife would him to bring the campaign to Seb’s, Demonstrating that we recognize the Humpty Dumpty back together again. wounded service men and women get rid of the elf on the shelf. he replied, “I was motivated to start soldiers and that we are appreciative of C.J. Santosuosso wishes the with personal letters written by it after my dad got involved with the their service, is extremely important, students throughout Massachusetts. organization ‘IPods for wounded vet- and is often forgotten about. In a time After being severely injured while erans’ and I met the man who runs it.” where the veterans may be struggling serving, soldiers return home unable Although the organization is new to St. with different aspects of their lives, a to get a job, and they often struggle Sebastian’s, it has been quite success- simple letter from a student showing to provide for themselves and ful so far. “My goal with the project their appreciation for the acts is truly their families as well. Many of the is to get 700 letters between the two priceless. veterans have received up to twenty surgeries and are in critical condi- tion when they are back in the states. These amputees and those who suffer from severe brain injury are stationed at the Walter Reid Hospital, in Wash- ington D.C. Upon arriving home, soldiers must wait up to two years before they will be paid. Not only can this time be very tough finan- John Rourke ‘15, Jack Duffy ‘15, and Matt Doherty ‘15 brought cially, but it can be morally draining this campaign to the Seb’s Community, in which you write let- as well. Although these letters take ters to wounded vets hospitalized in Walter Reed Hospital. Hopefully Santa will grant what Seb’s wished for Christmas. What the Class of 2014 Will Be Remembered For: Their Yearbook By Samuel Cullen ‘17 color palate continued through the demonstrated both the student body’s then proceeded to call himself “the seniors clearly recognized Mr. Schell’s memories. And seemed to oddly match “mastery of scholarly humor” and the next” Wolf of Wall Street. And then work in advancing their futures and Well, if I could use one and compliment the images of neon- diverse range of athletic, artistic and standing humorously amidst the long, providing a well-rounded role model word to describe the yearbook for clad seniors at the “ragers” of their past scholarly pursuits we hopefully all par- flowing tributes of his peers, Shane to the class. If you don’t know him, last school year, it would be BOLD. years. ticipate in. All-in-all, the content and MacDonald wrote a well-constructed which you all should, Mr. Schell is one Starting immediately with the tradi- Now for the content, this yearbook design of the 2014 yearbook was char- two-liner: “Thanks to the entire fam- of our college counselors, a history tion-breaking cover, 2014’s book es- wholly fulfilled its duties to be an ever- acteristically SEB’S at its best. ily for everything. High school was a teacher and Varsity Baseball coach. In chewed the rather traditional design lasting tribute to our “departed” Class However that isn’t to say the year- blast.” Followed by an off-kilter quote an obvious fashion, Mr. Schell embod- cover of the previous year, in favor of of 2014. At both the beginning and book didn’t have its hiccups, or more by Rick Ross, “Shoe box, no shoes in ies the ideal charitable athlete-scholar a three-dimensional impression of the the end of the yearbook, the tributes fittingly, “practical jokes.” Cleverly ‘em” which we are hoping has some we as students strive to become in this new statue of the school’s patron set to the collegiate freshman gave each crafted by last year’s senior class, the secret prophetic message in it. But at community. And clearly, Mr. Schell amongst red stripes. In contrast to last outgoing student a closing platform 2014 class-book contained more than the end of the day, a yearbook without is quote, “class personified.” But Mr. year’s “official” look, this cover looks to offer their own thoughts and at the a few final laughs. For example, one appropriate humor is a boring yearbook Schell is not the only example of the delightfully modern and bold, as the end, the thoughts of their families. of the Jack Goldman’s quotes from at that. And so, we can all THANK the versatile teacher-mentor at our school. line (and of course, St. Sebastian) pop And the range of quotes from the fa- Michael Smith was the grammatical- seniors for gracing us with their most With nearly all of our teachers provid- out right at the viewer. However, the mous and the infamous never stopped ly-incorrect “You bad at insults” and enigmatic and eccentric inside-jokes. ing a multi-role mentorship to com- cover paid off with the majority stu- offering both a chuckle and a somber Conor Craven left the simple quote, Now onto the star of the yearbook, pliment our lives as well-rounded dents complimenting the cover, say- moment with the quotes ranging from “Guy, you’re a hack” from fellow se- the Class of 2014’s yearbook hon- scholars, the selection of a dedicatee ing “I like the stripes” and “It was in- Lil’ Wayne to Thomas Paine, both of nior Ryan “Walshy” Walsh...Who him- oree…Mr. Mike Schell. Described as is always a toss-up, and that’s what spirational,” as Stevie Karol ’17 told which were on Aturo Adkins’ page co- self summarized his experiences with a “guiding presence, teacher, mentor, makes our school great. the Walrus. In addition to the striking incidentally. The yearbook creatively four Wolf of Wall Street quotes. And councilor and coach,” the departing cover, the book continued its vibrant Favorite Gift to Favorite Gift to Got 3 Wishes... Eggnog or Hot Favorite Christmas Give Get What’s First One? Chocolate? Carol THE Adam Kamphaus ‘19 Sports item Electronics To Fly Eggnog Jingle Bells Junior Laura ‘17 Xbox One Chipotle Gift Card Party Forever Hot Chocolate Frosty the Snowman

Jake Loughbor- Food Food More Wishes Hot Chocolate Jingle Bells RARE ough ‘16 James Sylvia ‘15 Ham Sandwich Sauce World Peace Hot Cocoa Last Christmas by WHAM! Kenny Vallace ‘15 Lottery Tickets Tonka Trucks 3 More Wishes Eggnog Santa Baby QUESTIONNAIRE Mr. D. Burke ‘97 LOVE New Socks More Wishes Hot Chocolate Let It Snow Page 6 THE WALRUS December 2014 POINT / COUNTERPOINT Real Christmas Trees Artificial Christmas Trees

spend on yourself. This fits right into By Patrick Ryan ‘18 By Patrick Dufour ‘18 the Christmas theme of trying to re- V. Every Christmas there ceive as many gifts as you can. Who The temperature drops, the Without the Christmas tree business, and famous, every tree wants to be a comes time when the days are get- doesn’t want more money? It takes snow falls, and the atmosphere at St. many lumberjacks would go jobless. Christmas tree. Not even aluminum ting shorter, and you need to choose too much time to: buy a tree, carry Sebastian’s changes. Seventh graders As one lumberjack put, “We’re just wiring wrapped in green flakes can as- a tree. What used to be an incred- it in, string it with lights, and orna- can’t wait to see what gifts Santa will simple guys trying to make an hon- sume that role; only pine trees make ible fun trip has turned into a pain- ment. Instead of wasting your time bring them, Juniors spends countless est living, but those soft city-folk who the cut and live the sought after life of ful task. Always a long and boring on those meaningless tasks, plug in hours stressing about mousetrap cars, buy and sell those weak excuses for a Christmas tree. process, picking out a tree is a waste your artificial tree and sit back relax and Seniors start receiving accep- trees are taking away our business.” In addition, real Christmas of time. Every real tree pretty much and listen to Mariah Carey’s Christ- mas album. tance letters. Oh yes, it’s Christmas So, in all seriousness, buying a real trees add to the joy of Christmas and looks the same, having at least one Another obvious reason time. Everyone can’t wait for the next Christmas tree helps the economy and enhance the presence of the holiday physical disadvantage. You are that artificial trees are far better than few weeks to fly by as they prepare workers. How would like it if some spirit. Nothing compares to the crisp pretty much choosing the best of the real trees is that you do not have to for eggnog and mistletoe, sitting by fake thing made you lose your job? scent of pine needles wafting through worst. It’s like the choosing the best 76’ers player in the NBA. Relative- water them. With a real tree, every the glowing fire, and most impor- After my interview with the your house as you wait to hear those ly, based on his team, he is a good day you are met with the same pain- tantly- the gifts under the Christmas lumberjacks, I traveled around talk- hooves on the rooftop. Also, each real player, but in reality he is on a vast- ful task of watering the tree. Hav- tree. But what type of Christmas tree ing to some trees to understand their tree is unique, adding to the excite- ly irrelevant team and is mediocre. ing to go to the sink and back to the should it be? Real or artificial? The view of it all. I asked one very nice- ment of Christmas. Each year, you Back to the point at hand, you are tree is a gigantic waste of time. All looking pine: “What do you have to buy a new one, and there is a gallery answer is obviously a real Christmas not really getting a good Christmas the hard work you put in to a dead say about those phony trees that try to of different shapes and sizes you can tree. There are infinite benefits to tree. Artificial trees have no physical tree for just a month of entertain- having a real Christmas tree, while take your spot by the fireplace?” His choose from. One year you can have flaws, for they have un-deniably the ment is ridiculous. You never have an artificial tree is far worse than the silence was very revealing. Clearly, a short chubby tree, while you can best appearance of any Christmas to water an artificial tree and have true choice. Foolish lazy people buy this evergreen thought the artificial have a tall skinny one next year. With tree. There are no holes in artificial more free time. With all this extra artificial trees, but the hard-working trees were so inferior that the mere those boring fake ones, however, you trees, so there is no need to twist the free time you can start a snowball people who recognize the true mean- mention of them was not worth his are stuck with the same dull shape that tree around trying to find the tree’s fight or maybe watch some hockey. ing of Christmas correctly purchase a words. Honestly, I agree with them. barely resembles a tree. least ugly side. Artificial Trees on The main complaint of real Christmas tree. There is no real competition between I bet you’re thinking right the other hand are always perfectly some critics of artificial trees is First of all, evergreen trees these two categories; it is a fact that now, “But aren’t there a lot of benefits symmetrical. that they do not have the Christmas have been used to celebrate Christmas real evergreens serve better Christmas to having an artificial tree?” The an- Also, the artificial tree is smell. While that may appear as a and other winter festivals for over one trees than artificial ones. I also had swer is no, there are no real benefits. more modern and is more practical negative, artificial trees’ greater ap- thousand years. Any tradition lasting the privilege to talk with some other Every year, you have to store your than real trees. Artificial trees are a pearance makes up for their lack of that long holds some importance, un- types of real trees. When I finished fake tree somewhere. Each Christ- relatively new type of tree compared scent. You can however purchase a less you hate most of history and dis- my conversation with a few different mas, you have to crawl through the to the ancient form of real trees. wreath or other Christmas smelling agree with over a millennium of cul- deciduous trees, I got an idea of what musty attic, coughing and sneezing Real trees have been living in the items, and put them near the tree tures and beliefs. Artificial trees have their view was on this whole Christ- all the way, just to drag out the tree past, while artificial trees are look- if you require the scent. They have been around for a much smaller pe- mas tree topic. One maple told me, that fills the house with that dusty at- ing to the future. There will be more the same smell and fill the entire riod of time, and there is no legacy or “You know, I always wished I was tic smell. It would be much better to and more advancements to artificial room with Christmas spirit. Also though, since when has smell been interesting background. People with a coniferous tree because it was my enjoy the fresh air as you cut down trees. However, there will never be our biggest indicator of how good real Christmas trees can say that they one dream to be used as a Christmas your Christmas tree. If you don’t another advancement to real trees. something is? You can’t tell if one celebrate Christmas like almost any tree. When I grew up, I often pre- want to venture outside because it is The only advancement to real trees painting is better than the other off major figures around the world that tended to be a decorated pine tree, but “too cold,” then you need to man up that could come soon is extinction, which could be a positive for the of smell; you go off of looks. lived in the last thousand years. On I will never experience what it feels and embrace Christmas. Similarly, if Christmas industry. Next, Artificial Wrapping up this devas- the other hand, people with artificial like to be indoors or have weights on you don’t want a real Christmas tree trees can have different types of cre- tating article, I would like to reit- trees can only say that they celebrate me. Every Christmas, I wish to be because the needles are annoying or ative lightning types than real trees. erate how great artificial trees are. Christmas like their neighbor who turned into a pine tree. They live the you are semi-allergic to the tree, then Slapping up a dead tree branch, to You do not have to waste you time best life. In my life, you humans stab you need to toughen up and make a is a cat lady and doesn’t even leave pass off as a Christmas tree should picking out a tree, and setting it a needle into me and wait till I bleed tiny sacrifice to benefit your family her house. Seriously, which group of be a crime. A colorful artificial tree up. Also, there is no need to walk out (I then told the maple tree that we and yourself. So, to all you who are people would you like to be associ- will always light up a room and back and forth from your sink giv- ated with? poured his blood on food- he was furi- buying real Christmas trees: keep on gather your guest’s attention and re- ing the tree water, because artificial Also, everyone who buys ous). But as a pine tree, you are the buying them. And to those who don’t: spect. trees use electricity. I would also real Christmas trees fully embrace the tree to be; even though you may die, turn from your foolish and lazy ways Buying a new real tree each like to acknowledge my counterpart true meaning of Christmas. Christmas you are the source of admiration and and convert to the real Christmas tree. year costs more than only buying an Patrick Ryan and apologize for the is about giving to others, and buy- a focus of a great holiday—Christ- Trust me, it will make your holiday artificial tree every couple years. argumentative beat down I just un- ing a new, fresh Christmas tree each mas.” There you have it, Seb’s. Just experience much more enjoyable, and Because of artificial tree’s longev- leashed on him, and will consider year helps the Christmas tree industry. like every person wants to be rich you won’t regret it. ity, less money is spent on the tree; providing him with an artificial tree therefore, you have more money to for Christmas. Celebrity Look-Alike Christmas Edition

Yukon Cornelius Mr. Tull

Hermey Matt Eldridge ‘16

Cold Miser and Heat Miser Matt Blue ‘15 and Shawn Lynch 15 December 2014 THE WALRUS Page 7 American Sports Heisman Race: Can Mariota Lose? By Danny Deam ‘15 more than 650 yards on the ground, ing. Most notably, Cooper hauled in truly embarrassing opposing de- 13 catches for 224 yards in the in- FEATURE WRITER fenses. His quarterback rating is famous Iron Bowl versus a talented Last weekend marked the an unheralded 186.3. To add icing Auburn squad. The highlight of the conclusion of the 2014 College to the cake, Mariota also caught a night came when he reeled in a sev- Football regular season. An array touchdown this season. Cam New- enty five yard touchdown, one of of Championship games filled last ton, the now starting quarterback of three on the night. The moment was Saturday, each containing teams the Carolina Panthers, also caught a made all the better when the Ala- hoping to make their case for a spot touchdown during his Heisman sea- bama offensive Coordinator, Lane within the College Football Playoff. son at Auburn. Kiffin, threw his arms in the air to Within these teams were a handful While, on paper, Mariota signal a touchdown, upon realizing of players hoping to make a final looks like a runaway winner, Mel- Cooper was being single covered. push for an invite to the Heisman vin Gordon, a Wisconsin running Cooper went on to burn the Auburn Trophy Presentation in New York back, has also posted staggering defensive back and the play drew to City. Some of these players punched numbers. Gordon has run for 2336 a close with Cooper in the end zone. their ticket to New York, while oth- yards on 209 carries, earning more For the first time in awhile, all three ers fell out of the race. Some play- than 7 yards per carry. He’s totaled candidates play different positions. ers had a Heisman Moment, while 26 touchdowns on the ground and They also all hail from different others might have cost themselves raced to an 88 yard touchdown conferences. the trophy. This week, The Heisman against Iowa. Gordon isn’t a mon- Mariota will capture the Committee announced that three strous overpowering back, how- Heisman this season. His campaign players would be invited to New ever, his speed and shiftiness allows is just too good to resist. The 2014 The Patriots demolished the Chargers on Sunday Night, York for the ceremony. Two out of him to turn small gains into touch- season has produced three candi- finishing their gauntlet unexpectedly at 4-1. They finish the three will be playing on teams downs. Gordon, who was a pre- dates who arguably would have won the season with the Jets and Bills, then come the playoffs. competing in the College Football season contender, has posted num- in past seasons; but, unfortunately, playoff, while the other played on a bers all year. He’s rushed for over they’re pitted against one another. division winning team. 100 yards in every game except a Cooper, first off, falls short because Pats: Playing Like The The perennial front runner, blowout against Western Illinois, a of position. It’s extremely difficult Marcus Mariota, has lead the Or- game in which he saw limited ac- to win the Heisman as a receiver egon Ducks to a 12-1 season, over- tion. Gordon thrust himself towards however, as only 2 past players Year is 2000 coming an early season defeat at the the top of the Heisman race when have accomplished this feat. One By John McManmon ‘16 did during our hot streak. The defense hands of Arizona, only to annihilate he ran all over a talented Nebraska of these players, Desmond Howard, played reasonably well against argu- them in the Pac 12 Championship. team. He set the NCAA single game also played defense for Michigan, When the Patriots schedule ably the most high-powered offense Mariota has been a contender since rushing record when he dashed to aiding his campaign. Cooper, also, for the 2014 campaign was released, in the league. For the most part, they the preseason, when he announced a 408 yard day, capped with four picked an inopportune to have an the road to the Super Bowl seemed a took Randall Cobb and Jordy Nelson he’d return to Eugene for his senior touchdowns. The next week, after off game. Against Missouri in the little bumpy, though Super Bowl pre- out of the game, but unlike some of season. In addition to his jaw-drop- his record breaking performance, conference championship, he reeled dictions abounded. The “six-game the other teams the Patriots have ping numbers this season, he’s also he rushed for another 200 yards. in an impressive 12 catches, but for gauntlet” of Chicago, Denver, India- faced, the Packers had a respectable projected to be the first quarterback Gordon has not slowed this season. only 83 yards, while never record- napolis, Detroit, Green Bay, and San third option in Davante Adams. One taken in the 2015 draft. Mariota has He, however, ran for only 76 yards ing a touchdown. Gordon, similarly, Diego in the second half of the season positive note was that the Patriots held experienced nothing but success against a stout Ohio State defense also faltered on the biggest stage. was the most challenging series of the Packers to just three points in the since arriving in Eugene. During in the Big Ten Championship. This In the conference championship, games in recent memory. Following second half. Combining that with the his four year career at Oregon, he’s is the only blemish in an otherwise Gordon totaled a mere 76 yards on the embarrassing Chiefs game and a rocky offensive effort, however, made passed for a whopping 101 touch- record shattering season. 26 carries, averaging fewer than 3 2-2 start to the season, the most op- a few plays the difference in the game. downs, while throwing a meager 12 The final candidate is yards per attempt .Gordon’s squad timistic predictions had the Pats go- As much as it pains me to say it, this interceptions. To make this more Amari Cooper, a talented wide out also lost 59-0. Mariota, in contrast, ing 3-3 during this stretch. However, wasn’t a bad loss. No one expected impressive, Mariota has only start- for Alabama. Cooper is by far the thrived on the biggest stage. Against after demolishing the Bengals and the Patriots to finish the gauntlet at ed for three years. Mariota’s arm, most talented receiver in the coun- Arizona in conference champion- rolling over the Bills and Jets, the Pa- 4-1, and if they were going to lose a however, is not his only weapon. try, catching 115 balls for a stagger- ship, a team who’d handed the triots entered the second half of the He runs and scrambles better than game, playing the top NFC team on ing 1656 yards, while also reeling Ducks their only defeat, Mariota season with a full head of steam. The a large portion of the quarterbacks the road was probably going to be it. in 14 touchdowns. To put things threw for two touchdowns and ran Bears were just an appetizer and got in the country. Mariota has totaled The very next Sunday, the into perspective, the SEC West is for 3 more, en route to a blowout smothered by the Patriots, courtesy 28 rushing touchdowns in his three Patriots were back at it in San Diego widely acknowledged for possess- victory. Unfortunately for Gor- of 5 Brady touchdowns. Perhaps the years at the helm and rushed for ing the strongest defenses in the don and Cooper, Heisman interest and playing the kind of football we’ve biggest game was against the Broncos more than 650 yards each season. country. Cooper went up against is piqued in the final weeks of the seen since Cincinnati. The Chargers in a battle for the AFC throne, but the This year however, Mariota truly these defenses week in and week season. During this time, Mariota game proved that this defense is truly vaunted Denver pass rush managed broke out and established himself as out and continued to produce at a bested his counterparts. If Mariota legit, and has the ability to bail out the only one sack against a patchwork of- the best quarterback in the country. high level. In five different games, does go on to hold up that trophy in team when the offense isn’t getting it This year, he’s launched 38 touch- he amassed more than 10 catches. New York in a week, he’ll have a fensive line. With the 41-23 victory, done, something the Patriots haven’t down passes, while only throwing On 3 different occasions, Cooper date with last year’s winner, Jameis the Patriots were once again the Su- had since the early 2000s. Revis em- an absurd two interceptions. He’s totaled more than 200 yards receiv- Winston, in the Rose Bowl. per Bowl favorite. Indianapolis and barrassed Keenan Allen, Browner de- also run for 14 touchdowns and Detroit did nothing to raise any sus- molished Ladarius Green, and the rest picions to this fact. After going 4-0, of the secondary made slight work they faced their biggest challenge yet, of Antonio Gates, Eddie Royal, and facing the Packers in Lambeau. Malcom Floyd. The past six quarters, The Packers scared me more the defense has allowed ten points. than the Broncos, mostly because Definitely an encouraging sign head- they were playing in Lambeau. Some ing into the playoffs. were overlooking this game, mostly Despite the Packers loss, the because the Packers defense has been Patriots destiny is still in their hands; suspect throughout the season, and three wins against all the AFC East that they had lost to the Lions, whom teams and the #1 seed is theirs. An we absolutely defenestrated, and the AFC Championship game matchup Saints, whom we would absolutely with the Broncos is on the horizon, defenestrate. Despite our ability to but at home and with this defense, figuratively throw teams out of win- I’m not nearly as scared as I was 12 dows, all of the Packers’ losses had months ago. As for NFC teams like occurred in difficult road environ- the Packers and Seahawks…that’s a ments. Despite losing by 5, we really different story. Marcus Mariota takes home the Heisman after Beam ‘15 wrote this prescient article didn’t play much differently than we Bruins Try To Bounce Back From Early Losses and Injuries By Matt Blue ‘15 Stanley Cup would have made those and the three players having been and reliable defensemen, the Bruins gang of the 1970s, the Bruins need to just a little bit better. traded from last year’s team, there have struggled as of late. Tuukka Rask produce more offense and play tougher Black is back. The beloved Once last season ended, it were going to be 4 new faces in the is uncharacteristically underperforming defense. Injuries are surely detrimental, Boston Bruins have returned to action was time to rebuild. The Bruins de- Bs lineup, all at the forward position. in net (most likely due to his underper- not the Bruins cannot make excuses, and in this year’s NHL season and it has cided to trade offensive juggernaut Ja- The four new additions were going to forming defensemen but nonetheless, they need to accept responsibility for been quite a tumultuous one. The team rome Iginla to the Colorado Avalanche, be Ryan Spooner, Craig Cunningham, underperforming) and is at the bottom their recent slump. But don’t get down, had high expectations coming in, with Shawn Thornton to the Florida Pan- Bobby Robins and Matt Fraser, all of the league’s goaltenders in save per- there is still a lot of hockey left to play, many polls and experts picking them to thers and Johnny Boychuk to the New of whom had played for the team’s centage and goals against average. The and with the returns of Chara, Krejci win the Eastern Conference and some York Islanders. All instrumental to- minor league affiliate a year prior. Bruins also have yet to find a depen- and McQuaid just around the corner, the saying the highly coveted Stanley Cup wards the Bruins’ recent success, those All of them played well, but as many dent goal-scorer and as of today, have Bs could be back to their old, dominant is within considerable reach. In the three players have been surely missed. of us know, playing in the National no players in the top 30 in the league ways in no time in search of another past 7 seasons under coach Claude Iginla’s unique scoring ability helped Hockey League is no easy task and in terms of goals, assists or points. In Stanley Cup. So turn on your tuber and Julien, the Bs have made the playoffs propel the team to such an astounding due to injuries and poor play, none of order to return to the glory days, and check out some quality Bs action this every year, won a Presidents Trophy record and playoff performance, while those players would be a mainstay with pay homage to the legendary lunch-pail year, you definitely won’t regret it. (best record in the league), an Atlantic Thornton provided an energy that no the team. In fact, other forwards such Division trophy, 2 Eastern Conference other Bruins player could while he as Simon Gagne (acquired from the titles and of course, the Stanley Cup in was pounding an opposing player; he Flyers early on in the season), Jordan 2011. Thus, it’s safe to say the Bruins was truly a fan-favorite and class act. Caron and Seth Griffith have suited up have established an expectation of suc- Johnny Boychuk was arguably the for a few games this season. Griffith cess that is almost unrivaled through- Bruins best physical defenseman, with specifically impressed, scoring some out the league. Having captured the many highlight-reel hits throughout crucial goals when he was called upon. most points of any team in the league his 6 seasons in the black and gold. He As for defensemen, the season has last year with an impressive 117, the also possessed a blistering slap shot been a wild ride. Having lost veteran Bs had their sights set on another that legendary Bruins color commenta- captain Zdeno Chara to a knee injury cup, but unfortunately, the Montreal tor Jack Edwards has affectionately for 4-6 weeks on an October 23rd loss Canadiens got in the way. After an in- dubbed the “Johnny Rocket” and this to the New York Islanders, and Adam tense back-and-forth series, the Bruins was able to get the Bruins some much McQuaid to a broken thumb for 6-8 couldn’t capitalize in decisive Game needed goals. But, as Robert Frost weeks in a November 18th win over 7, and fell 3-1, ending all hopes of a would say, “nothing gold can stay” so the St. Louis Blues, as well as Johnny championship. Although the loss was the Bruins personnel and faithful fans Boychuk being traded, the Bruins have surely devastating, the team had a lot had to bid farewell to the three gentle- been experimenting with lots of defen- to be proud of. Veteran captain Zdeno men and wish them nothing but the semen as well. David Warsofsky, Zach Chara was named a first team all-star, best of luck in the future. Trotman, and Joe Morrow have all Tuukka Rask won the Vezina Tro- With 3 spots being left up for been called up from the minors on nu- phy for the league’s best goaltender, grabs, the Bruins had some impor- merous occasions and have performed and Patrice Bergeron won the Selke tant decisions to make. After training well. Trophy, awarded to the league’s best camp, the Bruins experimented with The Bruins currently stand at defensive forward (in addition to being a few players, and ultimately decided 15-12-1 with 31 points, which leaves named the cover player for EA Sports on a team for their first game against them in 5th place in the very competi- Last year was a great year for the Bruins and Bergeron, NHL 15). However, as wonderful as all the Philadelphia Flyers. With David tive Atlantic Division and 7th place of those individual accomplishments pictured above. But, so far this year, injuries have Krejci sidelined with a hip injury that overall in the Eastern Conference. are, the fans and players would most plagued them. They look to turn it around in the second has become a consistent problem (he With an injury-riddled lineup that has likely be in agreement in saying that a half of the year, attaining the coveted Stanley Cup. has missed 17 games so far this year) depleted the team of skilled scorers RROWS Sports Vol LXVIII, No. 3 St. Sebastian’s School December 2014 JV Hockey: Grinders on Every Line By Tyler Wiik ‘15 dormant for so long. Geoff Wade, a Louis McGuirk will strengthen the forward, also looks to revitalize his team with his work on the blue line, HEAD WRITER hockey abilities this year as a new- but his real contribution comes more The time has finally arrived. comer and green line grinder. The rest from his unmatched celes and unri- For months now St. Sebas- of the senior representation is made valed excitement for the upcoming tian’s has been waiting for a certain up of multiple year JV returners: season. season. The entire atmosphere of the Danny Beam is returning for his third I will be taking my spot for school has felt tense with anticipation, year, and the coaches, recognizing his the first few weeks as Coach #3. and the student body has anxiously dominating presence on the ice, have With the season fast ap- awaited the arrival of quite possibly finally given him the blue line jersey. proaching, all players, coaches, and the single most defining representa- Anthony Canavan, another three year students are looking forward to the tion of St. Seb’s athletics. The JV All-Star, will take his place once impending success, glory, and pure Puck season is upon us. again on the infamous Tony-Mahoney joy from playing the sport of hockey. JV Hockey has long held a defensive pairing. The combination of the senior repre- reputation of being one of the most The tag team of Noah sentation along with the strong sup- anticipated sports at St. Sebastian’s. D’Angelo and Matt Daniel look to port of the juniors and sophomores With a history of extreme mediocrity make a huge impact on the silver line should come together to form an in- record-wise, the team values more as Noah racks up the hits and Matt the credible, unstoppable force of a JV than anything else the experience of goals. Hockey team. We might not be the Pat McGowan’15 signs his National Letter of Intent to spending the year with the boys who Charlie Gordon and Chris most skilled, but heart wins champi- love the game. Led by a squad of se- Haley, though almost polar opposites, onships. While wins may be few and Holy Cross for baseball. Congrats to Pat and his family, nior captains and the coaching staff of hope to lead the team as starting for- far between, the experience of the JV as well as all those who have also committed, such as Geoff Mr. Cleary and Mr. Cavanaugh, the wards, Hales dancing around the zone Puck team is second to none. Wade’15, also to Holy Cross, for football. team is looking forward to a success- and Charlie scrapping for points. ful season. The senior support of the team might Weightlifting Club: be the strength the JV Puck team needs to finally pursue a winning re- cord. Made up of both longtime re- We Lift Things Up and turns and revivers of their passion for hockey, the senior class hopes to lead the team to victory. Between the pipes Put them Down stands the intimidating recent returner By Pat McGowan ‘15 cardio for the 133rd week in a row Peter Scotten, hoping to rediscover and crushing a 1,000 calorie protein the goaltending talent that he has kept Dumbstruck sophomores watch in amazement as Captain HEAD WRITER WHO shake, Matt agreed to answer some of Chris Haley dekes and dangles his way through defenders. COMMITTED TO HOLY my questions. The conversation followed as such: CROSS Pat: “So, Matt, what can you tell me No More BCS; It’s NCAA Playoff Time When the fall sports season about the “Weightlifting Club” here at St. Seb’s? However, according to Jimmy Mc- ends and the winter season comes suggests, but TCU is a playoff caliber Matt: “Uhh, it’s definitely a big part Cabe ‘17, “Oregon will end the streak around kids at St. Seb’s decide what By Michael Hartman ‘17 team with an elite offense. of the kids who lift here at St. Seb’s. January 1st and meet Alabama in a winter sport they should play, and they I don’t really know how it started or and Chris Vallace ‘17 game for the ages. Florida State has at have a few options: Hockey? Nahh, The NCAA’s regular season Fiesta Bowl: Arizona (10-3) vs. Boise when it started. I know Mr. Thomasy times looked nothing like last year’s can’t skate. Basketball? Ehh, I don’t taught us many lessons. We learned State (11-2) - Arizona has exceeded works out all the time and he’s been dominant team, but they are undoubt- like to run. Wrestling/Skiing/Squash? that it’s acceptable to shove an of- their expectations all year and should at this school for a long time so may- edly the ‘clutchest’ SQUAD in the Yeah, maybe, I’ll play a sport in the ficial if you’re a Heisman Trophy continue to do so in a game featuring be he discovered it. It’s just some- land.” FSU always morphs into a dif- spring. Now once these kids have de- winner, Ohio State has the ability to two high-octane offenses. thing that has been passed through St. ferent team coming out in the second cided to not play a sport this winter, of- beat a high caliber team with an inex- Seb’s.” half, with star running back Dalvin ten times they head to the weight room perienced quarterback, Florida State Orange Bowl: Georgia Tech (10-3) vs. Pat: In that case, would you consider Cook averaging 9.7 yards per carry for the first time in a while in order controls the court system, Michigan’s Miss. State (10-2) - Dak Prescott and yourself the current President of the while FSU trails. In a close game, Or- to get a mean lift in, but after that lift football program is in shambles, and Mississippi State were the top club? egon’s fast pace offense--with Mari- those kids don’t go back for a couple Marcus Mariota is a superhero. But all team in the nation at one point and can Matt: “Well, first of all, calling it a ota accounting for 52 touchdowns this weeks. Now, there are plenty of kids of that is behind us as we take a closer beat a team coming off a loss to FSU. club is showing some serious disre- year while only throwing two inter- at Seb’s who frequent the weight room look at bowl season, truly the most spect to the iron. And I won’t bring ceptions--will be much for the reign- either in preparation for an upcom- wonderful time of the year. Here are Outback Bowl: Wisconsin (10-3) vs. myself to be the president until the ing champs. To further elaborate on ing sports season, to rehab an injury, our picks for the other notable bowls, Auburn (8-4) - Wisconsin lost 59-0 to name is changed…and we get the this matchup, as much as it pains me or because they’re going to a party on in caps. Much to Mr. Albertson’s cha- Ohio State, who are currently starting back squat machine back from Mon- to even mention, we’d like to make a Friday night. grin, Holy Cross will not be in a bowl the preseason third string quarterback. trose.” comparison to the 2012 BCS National One thing I have heard over many game this year (although we hear the Auburn will roll. Pat: Are you encouraged by the new Championship. Undefeated Notre years and has never been addressed crew team is pretty solid). gym or do you miss the musty, old, Dame came in with a couple of near is the “Weight Lifting Club”. Now, is Cotton Bowl: Baylor (11-1) vs. Mich- half broken weights and machines? death experiences, similar to FSU (3 this an actual club seniors can put on Sun Bowl: Duke (9-3) vs. Arizona igan State (10-2) - Baylor will be Matt: “I liked the old gym better. Ar- point victory over unranked BC and 6 their transcripts or is this just a figment State (9-3) - Arizona State, a angry over missing out on a playoff nold [Schwarzenegger] and Ronnie point win over Notre Dame in which a of St. Seb’s lure that has been around team ranked 6th in the nation at one bid and should beat an inferior Spar- [Coleman] both trained in old school game winning touchdown was called the school for some time. In honor point, should beat a solid Duke team tans team in a shootout. gyms and they were some diesel back due to an “offensive interfer- of bulking season, I have decided to from a very weak ACC. dudes. And the addition of the stair- ence” in the final minutes). Similarly, check-out this “Weight Room” and Now onto the playoffs, the best inno- masters and the ellipticals makes the Oregon will act as the Alabama of the find out for myself whether or not the Pinstripe Bowl: Penn State (6-6) vs. vation since sliced bread. We will be- gym look a little too much like Planet game and within the first few minutes, Weightlifting Club really exists at St. Boston College (7-5) - Quarterback gin with the Sugar Bowl, Alabama vs. Fitness and less like a gym where FSU fans will be saying, to quote Sebastian’s. Tyler Murphy, and a powerful rush- Ohio State. Now, as much as we dis- boys turn into men and men turn into Vallace’s dad on Eddie Lacy’s touch- I ventured across to the weight room ing attack should lead BC over a Penn like Alabama, we’re going to have to freak beasts. down in the 12th minute of the first in the downstairs area of the athletic State team that continues to disap- pick them in this one. With third string Pat: Last question, if you were to half, “it’s over.” building to find out for myself what point. Players to watch for: Freshman quarterback Cardale Jones starting, give any advice to little kids who are Finally, the National Cham- really was down there. I shyly pulled Connor Strachan and Junior Michael the Buckeyes could have trouble with thinking of joining the Weightlifting pionship, the game of the ages; we’ve open to door and what greeted me was Fischer. the passing game. Although Cardale Club? been dying to see Alabama square a pungent wave of unclean socks and has shown he has the ability to be a Matt: “Educate yourself on nutrition up against Oregon for a long time. little boys who haven’t reached the Holiday Bowl: Nebraska (9-3) vs. star in the years to come, a seasoned and fitness before you begin morph- We picture the championship going stage of using deodorant yet. I took a USC (8-4) - Ameer Abdullah is a huge Alabama defense will present a ma- ing into a beast. Don’t just walk into along the lines of the 2013 Auburn couple steps in to see some freak beast threat, but Cody Kessler will lead jor challenge. In addition to ‘Bama’s the gym, stretch a bit, do 20 curls, vs. Alabama Iron Bowl game, prob- doing 100 lb. curbs in a tank top and USC over a Nebraska team that just stud defense, their backfield including and walk out. Also, don’t go up for ably without an epic field goal return stretchy lulu lemon pants and high top fired its coach, Bo Pelini. T.J. Yeldon (932 yards) and Derrick 2nd helpings of pizza and fries and to end proceedings. The game will go Adidas shoes on. Henry (895 yards) will prove a tough lather it in ketchup and salt. Try hav- back and forth; Oregon’s fast paced “Hey, Matt. What’s up? You come to Music City Bowl: LSU (8-4) vs. Notre opponent for Ohio state’s front 7. Fur- ing fish on Fridays and making your offense will push down the field, gym often?” Dame (7-5) - The strong rushing at- thermore, record breaking Heisman plates more colorful with pasta or a while ‘Bama will control the time of He tossed down his weight, tack of LSU combined with the shaky finalist, Amari Cooper--1656 yards, sandwich.” possession slowly moving down the took out his headphones and said, Irish defense should lead to a victory 14 TD’s, and an average of 14.4 yards There you have it kids. field. Expect big performances from “Yeah, man, I love the gym. Have you for Les Miles and the Tigers. per reception--is one of the most dom- Proof that the weightlifting club is Cooper and Mariota. The game will seen my gains? My bench is up to 305, inant receivers in college football his- not just something that seniors put continue into the second half and the squat to 340, and dead-lift is at 405. I Belk Bowl: Louisville (9-3) vs. Geor- tory and will be hard to stop. on their high school transcripts when scoring will slow as the defenses tire can’t get enough of this place.” gia (9-3)- Although standout running Onto the Rose Bowl: Pasadena, Cali- they apply to college, but a full- the offenses, with a final ranging from After conversing with lifting back Todd Gurley is done for the year, fornia will be host to possibly the most blown meathead way of getting rid of the high twenties to mid thirties. The enthusiast Matt Bell ’15, it was easy Georgia still maintains a strong intriguing matchup of the year, featur- the stresses of school. If you are look- game will most likely come down to for me to conclude that he could defi- backfield and should squeak by a ing likely Heisman winner Marcus ing to build your physique for an up- the final minutes, or minute, with Or- nitely help me on my journey to dis- tough Louisville team. Mariota and last year’s troubled Heis- coming sport season or simply just to egon pulling out the win on account covering the Weightlifting Club. His man winner, Jameis Winston. Jimbo get ready for beach season then come of Oregon’s passing game overcom- wide back, monster arms, and small Peach Bowl: Ole Miss (9-3) vs. TCU Fisher’s Florida State Seminoles are to Weightlifting Club after school and ing a mediocre Alabama secondary. calves were all the evidence I needed (11-1) - Ole Miss beat top ranked Ala- the defending national champions BUILD A BIGGER YOU! Gear up boys, this one will be quite a to prove that he was a man who knew bama and is better than their record and have the longest winning streak. thriller. a lot about the gym. After skipping his Varsity Varsity Hockey: Varsity Basketball: vs. Rivers, W 4-1 @ Middlesex, W 51-34 Results vs. Milton, W 6-2 @ St. George’s, W 77-70 vs. BB&N, W 6-3 vs. Boston Trinity, W 77-67 vs. New Hampton, W 8-2 Varsity Wrestling:

Varsity Swimming: Tabor, L 65-18; BB&N, W 42-27; St. Paul’s, L 61-15 vs. Portsmouth Abbey, Thayer, W 36-22; Milton, L 66-18 W 88-82 Concord L 48-33, Middlesex L 61-12