In. R.espon.se
Dear Miss Pearlman, an whom he had preferred. Already the knowledge that Dor You're right. No sensible woman I know would go othea had chosen Mr Casaubon had bruised his attachment running in heels. They own running shoes for that. and relaxed its hold. Although Sir James was a sportsman, he Firstly, I want to point out that had some other feelings towards your underlying argument must women than towards grouse and have been that women, regardless foxes, and did not regard his fu of what they are wearing, are not ture wife in the light of prey, valu taken seriously and that men are. able chiefly for the excitements Aside from that, there are many of the chase. Neither was he so holes in your argument that you well acquainted with the habits of did not account for. There are two primitive races as to feel that an points that I want to make in re ideal combat for her, tomahawk in sponse to your article. I say, that hand, so to speak, was necessary the fact that you think looking to the historical continuity of the nice is not important, means that marriage-tie. On the contrary, hav you are not serious. I dare you to ing the amiable vanity which knits wear jeans and a hoodie to your us to those who are fond of us, and next job interview. I don't want disinclines us to those who are in to wear clothes that don't flat different, and also a good grateful ter me because my first impres nature, the mere idea that a wom sion will not be a good one. At an had a kindness towards him your very first seminar in fresh spun little threads of tenderness man year, you were probably less from out his heart towards hers." likely to listen to the guy with holes and coffee stains all over BY: EMILY SEBELL his shirt, than the one who was wearing a tie. Are you also say While freely acknowledg ing that men who wear suits to ing that everyone is entitled to work are not serious because his or her opinions, however they can not run in their loafers? Freshman Fox More Leopard than misguided we may believe them According to your article, that to be, I must confess that I was seems to be true. Are you not attracted to a man who taken aback by the opinions expressed in the article Intel wears a suit? This question brings me to my next point. lectual Femininity. Apparently, to be thought of as intel There is a big difference between wearing modest skirts, ligent, we must forgo our self-expression and our freedom and wearing such a short skirt that you can see my undergar of choice in dress and conform to someone else's idea ments. Since you didn't specify which you were talking about, of the "right way to dress." Should I now wear a burka? and you mentioned only "skirts," I will address the former. By Fashion has been a way for both men and women to ex wearing skirts and other feminine clothing, I am not distract press themselves, and, historically, a woman's way to have a ing my peers in class. I would be, however, seriously denying voice in society before she had a voice in politics. Although my human nature by not wanting to be appealing to the eye, we now are able to work, play professional sports, lead and taking part in the beautiful. The human body is beauti countries and pursue any career a man can pursue, we con ful, and that is why we love one another. However, men and tinue to enjoy expressing ourselves through fashion, as well. women have different forms for a reason, and you gain little Like the author many of us are "avid readers, strong stu to nothing by trying to make us the same. Men and women, dents, talented dancers, patient teachers, analytic intel by nature, are attracted to each other, and for the most part, lectuals, fun friends, loving members of our families," and want to attract each other. Sight is the first faculty we use that much more. But some of us choose to embrace all aspects immediately communicates what is attractive or repulsive. If of ourselves, including our femininity. We are not afraid of I am, in my immediate response, repulsed by something, I am expressing that femininity because we are confidant of who not likely to love it. If I find what I am looking at appealing, we are. In fact, it is what makes us so wonderful. Nothing there is a chance that maybe, at some point, I could. My point: stops us from philosophizing and looking cute while doing it. dressing in such a way that appeals to the eye is not unpracti Of course, if you want to dress like George Sands, you are cal. The human form takes part in the beautiful, though men free to do so! The bottom line is that women have earned the and women do this in different ways. On the appropriate oc right to dress any way they please, and still be taken serious casions I will not hide the things that make a body beautiful. ly. It is so sad that in this modern world, it is a woman- not a Also, I wrote this whole thing while wearing a skirt: man- who condemns women for embracing their femininity. "He had no sonnets to write, and it could not strike him agreeably that he was not an object of preference to the worn- BY: CHLOE GINSBURG THE GADFLY
The student newspaper of St. John's College.
60 College Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401
EDITOR IN CHIEF Chris Johns
BUSINESS MANAGER Charlie Lincoln
COPY EDITOR Megan Faulkner
THE STAFF Annika Schwiebert Nathan Goldman James Flaim Michael Lacy the elegance of my own convictions with boiled strength, impassioned friction Founded in 1980, THE GADFLY is the student newspaper distributed to over tells me now to sit and ponder 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. but moments pass, i wait no longer for lady luck to come and fetch me Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). THE GADFLY reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any wa from dark room'd, pitch-black, heated envy necessary to publish the most professional, informative, and thought-pro- and sweet calypso's faded spirit voking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's College permit. to whisper nothings through my mirror nay! all that i have said and done Articles submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. THE GADFLY is not obligated to publish all submissions except has little weight, it counts for none under special circumstances. but instead of strike my heart as if to leave i ask thee, lord, renew thyself in me
BY: ALEXANDRA FITZMORRIS
Jocks o' the Week Miss Neff Mssrs. Barone & Shlifer \
S-tu..deI1-t Lile But Where Is Nathan Goldman, Anyway?
When Nathan Goldman arrived at St. John's College, from of our hero, and posted them throughout all of Anne Arun Fairway, Kansas, he not only brought with him an unparalleled del County, because who really knows how far Goldman could mane, but also a knack for writing long, important articles that have run, am I right? I think it must be noted that this picture nobody else wanted to- this was, for those of you who don't was of Nathan when he was 13 years old, which may have been remember, a very regular occurrence. Goldman was charac the reason why nobody seemed to respond. Regardless, I had terized for his lucid prose, which informed the Polity about some success all on my own. I was walking one day, puffing on important issues like Dean Kraus and SJC's new "common ap a Roman, and my feet took me to the docks of Annapolis prop plication" policy. Suffice it to say, Nathan Goldman was kind of er. At my feet was a man, who had a very eerie resemblance to a big deal in Gadfly reader's collective minds. However, when wards our hero ... "there was no way that he is here," I thought the weather dropped, so did Mr. Goldman's contributions to as I got down on my knee to investigate further. The man I our paper. This has prompted many to wonder, ''Where the saw had long hair, a scruffy beard that resembled Nathan's "no hell is Nathan Goldman anyway?!" I decided to investigate and shave November" attempt, and a Mountain Goats t-shirt. Lo try to find out. and behold, I had found him. Besides him were empty Rubles I loaded my knapsack with enough beef jerkey to last me handles, issues of the Gadfly from a bygone era that had his at least 3 weeks, a flashlight, and a box of condoms (. .. just in articles in them, and a copy of Salinger's Nine Stories. I wept case), and took a dive into the depths of Campbell first, the right then. It was a real tragedy to think that St. John's fore home of Goldman, or so I thought. Bearing thirty pounds on most contributor to The Gadfly would be living near the docks. my back weighed me down, but nevertheless I made it to the "Nathan," I barely made out amongst my tears, ''What... what end of the hallway and knocked ostentatiously on Goldman's are you doing here? I've been searching all over the county for door. A large man singing "Come, Come Ye Sons of Art,'' and you man! The fucking county! Get up out of your filth! The sipping from a cup too large for anyone to be practically using, Gadfly needs you!" And that was all he needed, methinks. He opened the door- with gusto!- and greeted me by name: stood up, and asked me if I had another Roman, as we walked "Hello Mr. Weinberg! What can I do you for?" back towards campus ... of course I did. God had brought me to "Hey Mr. S------r, is Nathan around?" I earnestly asked. He Nathan Goldman that day, even though he was not the man of grinned widely, sipped from his enormous mug and said: gold he had once been. As we got back on campus, he pulled "Alas, it appears Mr. Goldman has not been around for quite out a Moleskine, which had written on it in silver sharpie some time. I have no idea where to find him!" Ok, I ain't gunna marker™ "The Collected Works of Nathan Goldman." It con front, this worried me ... a lot. Not only had Mr. Goldman not tained all of what he had written in his leave of absence from written for the Gadfly for months, but also he hadn't even been St. John's, and to say genius would be doing it no justice. How home for "quite some time"! What to do now but worry? Nay, I ever, the furious winds took the Moleskine and flew it towards would find Nathan Goldman if it was the last thing I did. I re College Creek, wherein they were soaked, unsalvageable, and alized what I had to do. I logged onto facebook.com and found forever ruined. The question still remains, will Nathan Gold Nathan Goldman's profile. I ran to the BBC and printed out 76 man ever write again? signs asking "Have You Seen Me???", attached with a picture BY: SAM WEINBERG ADVICE Ana's Advice for Anal-retentive Losers
Dear Ana N. Ymouse, tion usually is just a sign of physical neediness. Have you My life lacks meaning. Every day I wake up, only to look in tried stuffed animals? I recently watched a very emotional the mirror and wish that I hadn't. The one that I love can't film, Lars and the Real Girl,in which Lars solves all his prob be with me. And I can't be with them. How do I find the lems by purchasing a life-sized plastic doll. She could cover slightest bit offulfillment in the world without love? all his physical needs without doing all the annoying things Sincerely, girls do! Given your interest in Pokemon, perhaps a quick No Humps in Humphreys trip to ''EBay" will help quell your yearning for companion ship, even if these cute little Pokies don't understand a man's Dear No Humps, deeper needs. But if you really wanna catch a girl, I suggest It seems like you've gotten yourself in quite the pickle. Per wearing down her stamina until she's almost fainting. Once sonally, I never look in the mirror. I usually end up staring at you get her in your arms, all the dirty work has been done. myself so long that I miss class. So, my simple advice to you would be: start by taking a picture of the person you love, and masturbate to it. Usually, you get at least some satisfaction out Dear Ana, of this, and that's probably all you wanted from this person I'm a gay man-I should just tell you that right off the anyhow! Why do you think you can't look in the mirror? bat. Now I'm finding that I have feelings for a girl! What Clearly, this person can't stand your looks. You, as a hideous should I do? goofball, won't ever get into a relationsl1ip with this person. Sincerely, However, you can always have a relationship with yourself. Regrets in Randall
Dear Ana, Dear Randall, I've never had a girlfriend, but I want one desperately. I Your regrets are real. Unfortunately, I have to break the news love Pokemon and large breasts, but these rarely seem to go to you. Once you go gay, you can never stray. Perhaps a good together! How do I snag a girl? dose of homosexual pornography will kill those straight Hopelessly, germs. You're probably spending too much time with the Peek at Choo inferior sex, so try upping your contact with your hallmates. Sometimes, making graphic videos can be just the ticket. Lin Dear Peek, ger around the shower stalls, while you're still wet and nude. First off, do you want to snag a girl, or "snog'' a girl? Despera- If this doesn't help, become a priest. There's no turning back.
ternative funding for orb) pay for themselves. If I was good at croquet (which I most certainly am not, as Drew Menzer or Call to Arms Sam Frank can verify), I would have no problem with buying my own jumpsuit, rather than expecting the rest of the pol ity to pay for something which they can neither use nor en In a recent meeting, I was shocked to see that the major joy. ''Wait!" you might protest, "Didn't the D.C. also pay for ity of the D.C. deemed it both responsible and in all of our jackets and fencing gear for the Fencing Club?" Yes, they did. best interests to pay for uniforms for an exclusive group of Here's the difference: ANY member of the polity, no matter Croquet team members. Don't get me wrong; I love croquet how bad they are at fencing, can EARN a neat jacket if they are weekend as much as the next person, and certainly enjoy willing to consistently show up to fencing practices and com their extravagant costumes each year, as well as the frolick pete. Furthermore, the fencing gear itself, which some might ing and picnicking that comes along with the big match. argue is analogous to the croquet team's white jumpsuits, is Croquet is absolutely an essential part of the Annapolis kept at the school, and multiple fencers use it throughout the campus life. However, I absolutely protest that in this case, years. In the case of croquet, on the other hand, the players the D.C. members did not have the entire polity's interests are basically being given a monogrammed gift from all of us. in mind when they decided that our student activity fees Perhaps we can try to put measures in place in the future should go towards funding the croquet team's uniforms. to ensure that these croquet outfits are reused, but for now, To give a bit of information about the uniforms, first of all: I believe that the majority of the polity's interests are not be croquet team members each get a white jumpsuit with his (or ing represented. The trouble is, the D.C. still has many more her) name monogrammed onto it. No, these uniforms are not budgets to go through this semester, and much more money reused from year-to-year, nor do they even keep them at the to cut. Clubs, don't be surprised if your money is cut later school. Rather, we are now paying for members of the croquet team to "look cool" in their personal uniforms. This is cer BY: GRACE TYSON tainly something these members should either a) receive al- Student Contributor ART The Beau Brummels wonderful as I do. My iTunes library is always shared, so if "Triangle" you're on campus, you're welcome to listen to it any time. BY: GRANT KUNING Student Contributor This piece is an experiment, intended to see if the pol ity is interested in weekly reviews and recommendations of music-especially albums, and especially obscure ones. I would be open-minded about reviewing contemporary, popu lar releases (the new Radiohead, for example), but mostly I just want to introduce people to the music that moves me. The Beau Brummels were a pop/rock band from San Fran cisco, formed in 1964. They had a pair of hits on their first al bum, ''Laugh, Laugh" and "Just a Little," which brought the band to moderate prominence. They were generic and medio cre, but catchy enough to make a name for themselves. They quickly sank into obscurity, however, after an album of filler and another of cover songs. Their fourth album was Triangle. Triangle was by no means a comeback album. In fact, the band would, for the most part, remain in obscurity for the rest of their career, which was alreadycomingto a close, bythen.At this time, 1967, the band's lineup had changed more than once, and it showed in their sound. It was also a big year for psyche delic rock: "Strawberry Fields Forever," Hendrix's classic first album, and The Rolling Stones' own foray into the genre with Their Satanic Majesties Request... What results is a folk-rock album with a pinch of country, generally reaching for the psy chedelic with an exhaustive array of instruments, including strings, brass, a banjo, a harpsichord, a fiddle, and an accordion. The album opens with "Are You Happy?" an introduction to the fun, upbeat folk-rock tone of the album, isolated from the psychedelic sounds to come. As with most of the album's songs, at 2minutes19 seconds, "short and sweet" is apt. "Only Dream ing Now" follows, and right away, you get cellos, and then, an accordion, which accompanies vocals: "Sometime long ago/ There lived a gypsy I loved so/She danced above my head, above my bed/Like no other I have known." This typifies the other creative force in the album, which draws on "dreams" and fan tasy, for its lyrics, and rapid but romantic tones, for its music. After the similar ''Painter of Women," the forces converge at mystical hillbilly theme ''Keeper of Time," which taps banjo and French horns to wonderful effect. Most of these songs fall somewhere on a weird spectrum the album invents, which has on one end the folk-rock/country of the album opener and on the other the band's particular approach to psyche delic rock. The album's only single, "Magic Hollow," leans· somewhat more to the psychedelic side (like any song with "magic" in the title), but is quiet, simple, relaxing. The al bum's longest track, "Wolf of Velvet Fortune," is comparable at first, but tense; it bursts with energy at its mysterious refrain. I love this album for its distinct mix of lively folk ("Nine Pound Hammer") and charming surreality ("Triangle"). - "Triangle" reminds me of the fantasy novels I read, when I ' was a kid, and movies like The Princess Bride. Catchy, hap py, compelling- it hasn't left my mind since I discovered it in 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die. Though not quite a perfect album, I hope you find it as beautiful and .....__.._____ BY: JAMES FLAIM AN•>E SI
the human, the cuckoldress, flung a wide right in ti1ie direc Cuckoldress tion of the mud slut. Over gorilla guts in plum sauce, over gi raffe hoof kabobs, over parrot flesh and people flesh, an.d fae cracked porcupine squash... She hurled it like a straightened Fat black clouds >vrnng themselves over her head like squiggle, for love of God and the wicked \viggle, straight into portents of some wonderful disease that might soon upset the heart of th.e goblin girl, who fell to the ground, breathed the North Dakotan count..ryside: hills to boils, ponds to messy a sigh, and died. The rest of the goblin people proclaimed pools of pus, blabbering brooks to thick and veiny torrents her king aEter that, a..'1d she lived as happily as a vampire bat. among uprooted stumps and holiow, :floating carcasses. Not extremely pretty, in other words, but with a sort of invigorat ing evilness snarling a gargle t.hrough it all. Two months ago BY: CHRIS JOHNS she'd glimpsed her husband's pale bottom bobbing a skinny Editor-in- Chief girl, paler than him, in a heap of mud behind the barn. She'd noticed the squish of many handprints: apparently they'd been at it for a while. It was very upsetting at the time. Now, how ever, she smiled. She smiied and walked a..'Uong the high hills, because she finally knew what she was going to do to him. "Ahhhh" she sighed, falling flat backwards in a wet guliy un der the dripping sl.-y... the fat black clouds ... the fat black blub bery clouds ... cherishing reveries of the thing between long el I lipses ... ha.iJ.ds above her head and swishing through the bluish / crabgrass... "Ooohhh... " caressing downwards now, slippery j and slipperier, feeling her face like a blind man :rnight feel it, full/ of deliberation and purpose, savoring each feature, each nook,/ I each... drop. "But when?" her mind asked, and just as soo~ the reply in a distinct echo, "Why not tonight...? Yes, why not; It would be clea..'1, of course. No wounds, no blood, no finger~ prints, nor handprints for that matter... just a strong sedativJ_o I and a fluffy pillow to muffie his snore. She'd practically tip t?e him to death. All that was left was to act natural: get up, wa~h up, and make dinner. Yet, when she finally decided to do so spe found that she couldn't. During the course of her daydrealn- 1 ing fae falling rain had s~ften~d the. earth, be_nea~'-i the jde and grassy gully, so that 1t collapsed, graaually, mto a c~ .iel smirk, sucking powerfully. She felt panic, once she caughy on, and why not? She would soon be dead. Scratching her nais to nubs against sa.11d, rocks, roots, miscellaneous bugs, and Ji:md. 1v1uddy rr:uddy mud. The earth ·wrapped her in its lips, pefmit ted her a final gasp and grasp, and swallowed. Only.I. she ( did not die. She dropped into a."'1. underground cavern fyll of goblins. Their skin was green, appropriately, but milky f}reen, not like ordinary goblins, who tend to more of a dark, hdd-of broccoli hue. Also they weren't stocky in t.'i.e least. Theirµimbs ! and fingers were long and smooth, though not to say s~dery: goblins d:test spiders.1:t any rat:,.:Vhen she c~me cr~s9ing i_n I on L'1em they were feast:!ng, as goblms almost always do.l Their ! pinkies immediately froze stiff, upon seeing her, and slie sur veyed a swath of them from left to right. Tall, dignified, pomp ish, their hands drenched in sauce or part'vvay submerJ;ed in f big glass domes stuffed ·with pickled pork and roast du~kling. l And there, several yards away from her, was fae mud sltt! The pale handprint princess who'd so recently seduced hh hus I band in the barnyard. She had one of her hands aro~nd t.'1.e I neck of a purple swan, and the other was nervouslylclutch BY: JA.rJES FLAIM ing a hot brass goblet of almond wine. She recogrJ.zed her. Picking up a finely v.-rought golden cacTJ.dlestick holder, she, ~ I
I ' Medford MA-Perseus front man dues is the website's URL, whose Coffee Shop-Some tutors frown Gregory R. Crane was somewhat at suffix, "tufts.edu", indicates a fairly at it, but the "Choking Game" has a loss, while picking up his morn unabstruse origin. grown in popularity over recent ing paper, last Thursday, to find In the mean time, Crane wiles weeks, especially among the young himself tackled to the ground by away the hours, acclimating to er set. Typically these will pair up St. John's Security Forces. This an all-liquids diet. Hang in there, in the Tutor Lounge, after seminar, was the culmination-point of literal